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The sun was waning gradually, the crimson hues blanketing the sky above. Kagome clutches the towel closer to her, watching as he furiously scrubs at his skin. Dread starts to settle at the pit of her stomach, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. One might think she was feeling such a way because she was scared.
Truthfully, she was scared.
But not for herself; no, it was never for her own safety.
She was scared for him. Worried. Terrified.
Kagome took a moment to compose herself before walking to sit beside him on the grass. Inuyasha merely glanced at her then averted his eyes. His lips were pursed and his body tense. He felt irritated that anyone would want to be in his company right now.
Kagome had vowed to stay by his side. Her devotion to him was unwavering, today’s events didn’t produce an ounce of doubt in her mind. It was quite the opposite. She found herself wanting to stay by him even more, and not out of pity. She knew that was the last thing he needed. She wordlessly held out the towel, hoping the gesture would be a starting point in communicating her sincerity.
“Keep it,” Inuyasha muttered, a slight bite in his tone. Kagome placed the towel on the grass. Kagome felt his gaze on her as the silence settled between them.
“You don’t have to stick by me, you know.” He said quietly. ‘I don’t need to be a burden.’ Kagome heard. Her stomach clenched.
Kagome’s expression must have given her away because suddenly, Inuyasha reeled on her.
“You know something? I’m sick of you and everyone else pussyfooting around me. I don’t give a damn about what I did!” His last words almost sounded convincing.
His walls were always up; his resistance to anyone breaching his defenses was firm. For anyone else, perhaps it was enough to scare them off. Not for Kagome though. Not when she knew better.
‘Until I met you, I didn’t trust a living soul.’ He had told her before. Upon knowing that, she vowed to do everything in her power to not break that trust.
“Don’t kid yourself.” Kagome countered, her warm brown eyes brimming with supressed empathy. Inuyasha had no rebuttal, scoffing and stared beyond the lake. His expression hard and contemplative.
‘It must be so hard on him.’ Kagome thought to herself.
Kagome recalled how she bolted to his side after Sesshomaru subdued him. She laid her hands gently on Inuyasha’s chest, whimpering slightly. Piercing Sesshomaru with her gaze, she yelled “Don’t come any closer! You hear me?” Tears slipped down her cheeks and she swallowed painfully. He never showed any mercy to Inuyasha, why stop now when he’s incapacitated?
Kagome did ponder the thought of Sesshomaru reprimanding her for the audacity. Her fingers found purchase on her quiver, ready to act if things escalated. Even if she were to die by his hand, she couldn’t think of a better way than to go out protecting Inuyasha. There was a cruel comfort in that regard.
It turns out he had simply come to put a stop to Inuyasha’s behavior; nothing more, nothing less. That’s what Kagome believed at least. Breathing a small sigh of relief, she wiped sweat off the edge of her brow.
She’d seen how Inuyasha reacted to his onslaught when he came to. She saw the pain, the distress on his face, the expressions of the villagers. It was too much for him to bear.
Anxious eyes scanned the area, blanketed by blood and gore. His voice came out hoarse.
“Did I…do this?”
Suddenly, this was too much for her to bear as well.
“No…” Her voice trailed as she saw a woman avert the young boy’s eyes from Inuyasha. She wanted to plead with the villagers, make them understand that Inuyasha was a man with a good, albeit wounded heart. He had no control over his actions, his life was on the line, he had no intention –
However, sensing Inuyasha’s increasing discomfort, Kagome opted to brush the small of his back instead as they walked away from the chaos. Her touch conveyed a promise of quiet comfort to come. ‘Soon.’
Kagome moved slowly, as to not startle him when he was in such a fragile state. His back was often dubbed as her place of security and comfort. Tonight however, she wanted Inuyasha to feel that from her.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her left hand draped across his collarbone while her other hand laid on his right shoulder. She leaned her head against his. Kagome felt him lean back into her embrace, his breath ghosting over her hand. She willed her embrace to shield him. Protect from the harsh torment he’d endured, the silent, bitter judgement on the faces he’d come across. The callous tones of voices taunting him, she wanted to replace those voices with hers. Let him know that the only thing he needs to hear is that he belongs, he’s ok, and he’s safe. Safe with her.
“Oh Inuyasha…I know how you feel.” Her voice held a soothing lilt, traveling to his soul and to his heart.
Inuyasha’s hand had come up to grasp her left hand. His fingers sprawled across her wrist, as if trying to anchor himself to every inch of her skin. Her hands, her touch acting as his lifeline.
“Kagome…” He said quietly.
His palm was calloused, having been through vigorous scrubbing. The scrutiny of his own hands was unrelenting, unforgiving.
Inuyasha’s grip on her hand tightened, his touch conveying what his words couldn’t.
‘You’re the last person I want to hurt with these hands…with these claws.’
In return, she pulled him closer, understanding his concern. Her open admiration of his hands contrasted with his utter disgust.
His very hands have been her savior on multiple occasions. For his hands have done more for her than the weight of any words could carry.
His claws tearing apart any enemy that dares to try to hurt her, keeping her safe.
His hands draping his haori around her when she sneezed, keeping her warm.
His fingers curling around the backpack strap as he eased it off her shoulder and onto his, keeping her comfortable.
His arms holding her close when she sought him out whenever she was crying, keeping her at ease. “Shh,” He’d whisper into her hair.
Upon reflecting on the many times his hands had played the role of provider, Kagome found herself falling more in love with him. Deeply, irrevocably in love with this man with a dark side. A side that she had accepted, along with the rest of him. Through blood shed and turmoil, Kagome would stay by him profusely.
His thumb had started to caress the top of her hand, his claw whispering across her skin. The silence was welcome, allowing them both to bask in each other’s presence, savour this closeness. Kagome closed her eyes, lulled by the softness of his haori brushing against her chin, the feeling of his thumb against her skin. She was about to slip into unconsciousness when Inuyasha spoke.
“Were you…scared? Did I try to attack you or the others?” He asked quietly. Kagome anticipated him asking questions when he was ready to. His voice was small for the second time that day, it was unnerving. As Kagome tightened her arms around him, she decided she never wanted to hear or see him feel so small ever again. Inuyasha has been vulnerable with her before, but this felt different. She had never seen him feel shameful of himself. Kagome reassured him immediately.
She replied in the same soothing lilt.
“Don’t worry, you didn’t come close to us. Besides, I wasn’t scared of you…I was scared for you. “She emphasized her last point by giving his right shoulder a light squeeze. He had slipped through her grasp, into the threshold of no return. A place where she couldn’t get through to him this time. A place where the simple thought of her, the sound of her voice rendered useless. She never wanted to be so far away from him ever again. A sob threatened to tear from her throat, but she quickly pushed it back; she needed to be strong for him.
Inuyasha understood the magnitude of her worry, despite the few words spoken just now. He simply nodded and turned his head to the right, the tip of his nose resting lightly against Kagome’s hair. She felt him inhale a few times, allowing her scent to wash over him. It seemed to calm him significantly.
His face had dipped down, his lips ghosting her left cheek. Kagome gasped softly, caught off guard with the shift, but it was welcome, nonetheless. She could feel his breath tickle her skin as she tilted her face ever so slightly towards his, reciprocating the affection.
“Kagome...” He murmured against her skin. Those three syllables a beacon of hope, his light within the dark abyss, keeping him calm. Kagome moved her face once more, touching her forehead to his, the tips of their noses grazing. His right hand came up to lay on top of hers, which was still resting on his shoulder.
With both of their hands fully entangled and the brush of his bangs against hers, Kagome felt utterly arrested by his proximity. She closed her eyes, immersing herself in his aura, his essence. Time seemed to stand still, her attention solely on him. Their fingers exchanged light brushes over each other’s hands, softening the tension housed within them from today’s events.
Even though the metaphorical wounds he’d sustained were fresh, Kagome would do everything in her power to lessen the scarring of them. For every touch, moment of proximity, would help him heal.
After what felt like a while, Kagome opened her eyes, finding herself pinned by Inuyasha’s gaze. His eyes, softened into a honeyed amber, communicated gratitude, unyielding devotion and an indescribable emotion she could not quite decipher. It was rendering her breathless, the warmth of his gaze penetrating. Her eyes darted across his face, committing this moment to memory.
Never breaking his gaze from hers, he spoke softly. “It’s getting late, we should head back to camp.” Kagome nodded, noting his hesitancy to break this moment matched hers.
They slowly untangled their hands from one another, fingers lingering on skin as they did so. They began the trek back, taking slow strides. No further words were spoken as they were not needed. For the only language communicated at the moment was through their actions. The subtle looks of tenderness, the light brush of their fingers and finally the intertwining of their hands once more as they continued walking.
Her fingers will catch any tears he may shed, no matter how rare that may be.
Her arms will hold him up whenever he felt that his very existence was dragging him down.
Her hands will always pull him from the darkest depths of his greatest fears.
‘Through bloodshed and turmoil, I’ll stay by your side. I swear it, Inuyasha. You’re ok, you belong, you’re safe with me.’
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