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Josie can’t sleep. Tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling for hours, her entire body restless, her mind one big mess. Eventually she emits a sigh and sits up, rubbing her temples. She cast a glance in the direction of her sister’s bed, sighing at the empty bed staring back at her. It’s too quiet without Lizzie. It’s too quiet and she needs to talk to her, so much has happened these past few days, she can barely make sense of her thoughts anymore. With a slow movement, Josie pulls the covers off of herself before standing up and pulling on a pair of sweatpants. She straightens her t-shirt a little before slowly making her way to the door, her limbs heavy and her mind foggy. She just needs to get some air or a glass of milk from the kitchen or something. Anything that’ll tire her enough to get through the night.
Grabbing the door handle, she slowly turns it, backing out of the room silently and watching the door as she closes it behind her. She doesn’t want to wake anyone else up, especially since Hope and her now girlfriend Finch are both asleep in the room right across from hers. Which is still hard for Josie to comprehend. It’s not like her and Hope aren’t on good terms, but having her girlfriend share a room with the first girl she ever had a crush on, the girl she once thought she would never stop loving, the girl she’s not actually sure she ever truly did stop loving, it’s weird.
Once she feels the click of the door closing, she lets out a breath and lets go of the door handle. Turning around, she almost squeaks but manages to choke it down. The hallway is poorly lit, only the moonlight shining through the window and a few candles lighting the space. It’s enough though, to make out the figure standing in front of the door across from hers. For a moment she thinks she may be about to run into Finch, but after she takes a few seconds for her eyes to really focus, she soon sees Hope looking back at her. The tribrid looks just as startled as Josie feels, her expression resembling a deer caught in the headlights. It’s honestly kind of cute really. The two of them stare at each other for a moment, a moment that drags on as Josie feels her heartbeat slowly begin to settle in her chest. They haven’t really had a conversation in private since Josie told Hope she wasn't ready to move back to the school yet. And here she is, back at the school, back in her old room, across the hall from Hope's room, magic and everything returned. Returned because she needed it to save Hope.
“Hope?”
“Hey Jo.” Hope smiles weakly, arms wrapped around her torso. She looks a little cold despite her own sweatpants and hoodie. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
A beat passes before Hope leans her back against her door.
Josie shakes her head, her features crumbled into a look of worry. "Not really no." She let her back hit the door with a light thump and she sighs, running a hand through her hair. Slowly she slides down to sit on the floor, back against the door. Hope joins her, hugging her knees to her chest. The hallway is silent around them, only the faint sound of rain hitting the roof echoing silently as the entire school is deep in slumber. It’s so silent, Josie is able to hear the sound of Hope's breath and she thinks to herself that Hope without a doubt must be able to hear her heart beat in her chest. Just the thought of that somehow makes it beat a little faster, almost as if her own heart is determined to betray her. As if thinking about keeping her heartbeat steady just makes it beat faster because she’s now aware of it. No matter the reason, she’s sure Hope could hear it if she wanted to. But she doesn’t look like she’s paying any attention to something as insignificant as the rhythm of Josie’s heartbeat. And she pretends that thought doesn't bother her.
"How are you feeling?" Josie speaks softly, afraid to break the silence around them. Hope lifts her gaze to look at Josie and she notices how tired she looks. The bags under her eyes.
Hope lets out a sigh, her eyes darting to the window so she can look up at the moon and relax under its light. The light dances across her blue eyes, making them sparkle and Josie has to forcefully tear her gaze away.
"I don't know." Hope finally mutters. "Sad. Tired." She clicks her tongue, pulling her lip in between her teeth softly. "Discarded."
The word is barely a whisper but Josie hears it loud and clear. And she sees the way Hope slumps in on herself more, the once mighty tribrid now looking so small, so fragile. A weird anger bubbles up in her stomach, one she has to shove back down.
Her face falls and a pang of guilt hits her. Hope is hurting and here Josie is, doing everything in her power to stay away from her. To ignore everything stirring up a storm inside of her.
"I'm sorry Hope." She whispers back softly. "It wasn't okay for him to just...leave like that. You deserve better."
Hope lets out a dry chuckle. "Yeah, sure. He's right though. We wouldn't work." She runs her fingers along the hem of her hoodie, squeezing the fabric in her hands. "We're doomed. Just my luck to fall for people who'll eventually have to leave me, huh?" She sighs, a melancholic smile on her lips.
A few moments pass before Hope realizes what she just said and she looks up to see the confusion on Josie's face.
"People, plural?" She asks, her brows furrowed together hard. As far as she knows Hope has never really had feelings for anyone but Landon. And she certainly can’t think of anyone else she could have crushed on who would eventually leave her. Actually just the thought of anyone ever wanting to leave Hope confused her, as if it was easy to resist the gravitational pull of the tribrid. Like you could just choose not to fall into her orbit and float around her.
"Uh, figure of speech." Hope quickly says. There is no way in hell this is the moment she is going to confess how she used to have a crush on Josie. The timing couldn't be more off, Landon was barely even gone and Josie is officially dating the new werewolf, Finch. Hope clenches her jaw a little at the thought of Josie's new girlfriend. Josie's girlfriend. Josie’s girlfriend and Hope’s new roommate. "Don’t worry about it.”
Josie can’t help the accusing raise of her eyebrow that follows Hope’s words but she quickly let’s it fall, not wanting to pressure Hope to say anything she doesn’t want to.
The two of them sit in silence for a moment, the moon bathing them both in a soft, faint light. It’s a weird silence, not comforting, awkward. There's an odd tension in the air and Josie doesn't know what to do with it.
"Josie?"
Josie snaps her head up to look at Hope and she realizes from her expectant look that she must have asked her something.
"Hmn?"
Hope cracks the smallest of smiles at that and it makes Josie feel more at ease.
"I was just asking you how you are." Hope says softly. Her hands are still fiddling with the hem of her hoodie, and she seems antsy, nervous. "You know, being back here, having your magic back, all that. The change, it's uh, it's got to be a little overwhelming. Not that I'm not happy you're back, I am, of course I am, I can just imagine it must be a little weird."
Josie feels a giggle bubble up her throat and she lets out a small laugh. “Hey. Breathe.”
Hope does as she’s told, letting her lungs fill with air. It makes her chest ache, a painful reminder that she hasn’t really been breathing properly pretty much since Landon left. It makes her hug her knees a little closer to her chest.
Of course Josie picks up on the sudden tension, and she rests her hands on the floor, leaning forward a little. “You know, it is a little weird. But it’s like I said, I can’t run from who I am. Besides, as much as I might have wanted to, it just… This is where I belong, you know? Here, at this school. With Lizzie and you and MG and…” Her eyes trail along the floor and she looks at the door behind Hope. “Finch.”
The beat of Josie’s heart is deafening at that moment. Hope feels it in her core. She feels it edged into her bones, leaving her wondering if she’ll ever be able to not feel it again. And it burns.
“I guess I should’ve figured something would pull me back here sooner or later.” Josie sighs. She doesn’t say what’s really on her mind. What they both secretly know. That in the end it wasn’t Finch who caused her to take back her magic, it wasn’t Finch who expressed an interest in seeing her back at the school. Finch wasn’t the one in mortal danger, the reason that Josie had decided to take her magic back.
“Yeah. It really is nice to have you back Jo. It feels...right.” Hope offers her a small, sincere smile and Josie suddenly feels like the distance is far too great between them. “You belong here.”
“It does.” She whispers back. “But hey, what choice did I have, someone has to keep you and Lizzie in check, god knows you’d be completely screwed without me.”
Hope can’t help the laughter that burns her throat on the way out, and it doesn’t take long for Josei to join her. She let’s it flow until a thud can be heard from her room, abruptly silencing her, and Josie soon follows suit.
“Everything okay?” She asks. Her ears didn’t exactly pick up noises as easily as Hope’s, and it didn’t appear like she heard the noise. Maybe it hadn’t been there, maybe Hope had imagined it.
“It’s nothing, I just...I thought I heard something. But I guess not.”
They let the silence wash over them once again, but this time it isn’t tense. It isn’t awkward or suffocating. It’s just there. Lying over them, cradling their bodies, wrapping around them like a warm, comfortable blanket.
Josie sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, feeling exhaustion settle in her bones. Maybe she’s starting to be more tired than she realized and she can’t stop the yawn that breaks the silence around them.
“Tired?”
“I guess so, yeah.”
“Maybe you should go to bed.”
Josie doesn’t want to go to bed. She’s comfortable right there, across from Hope, talking about their feelings. She remembers back to when they were younger and would sometimes sit outside their rooms and talk to each other in the dark of the night. They’d been so young, so unprepared for everything to come. It had felt so easy back then, and sitting here, talking to Hope now, she finds herself thinking how easy it still is. How familiar it feels to watch Hope’s face through the white moonlight.
Everything is so complicated in their lives right now, but despite everything they’ve been through recently, talking to Hope isn’t. With Hope, Josie isn’t apologizing, she isn’t worried that the smallest movement is going to set her off, make her upset.
She sighs, because she knows Hope is right. She’s tired and she should go to bed.
“Yeah.” She says, deflating a little before standing back up. Hope follows suit, pushing herself up. “Will you be going back to bed as well?”
Hope looks down, shifting a little from foot to foot before shaking her head.
“No, I was gonna go for a run. I uh, I need to clear my head.”
Josie nods tentatively, knowing that Hope can take care of herself but still not liking the idea of her out there all alone in the darkness.
“Be safe, okay?” It comes out much softer than she intends and it looks like something breaks inside of Hope. The tribrid gives her a slow nod.
“Of course. Goodnight Josie.”
A beat passes between them, and then Josie steps forward, wrapping her arms around Hope. Another beat passes and then Hope wraps her arms around Josie, squeezing her a little tighter than Josie was expecting. She doesn’t complain though.
They stay like that for what feels like years, but Josie knows, realistically, that it’s probably no more than a few minutes. When her body starts to feel heavy and another yawn threatens to split her lips, she pulls back slowly. Hope’s hands linger on her arms and she seems reluctant to pull away. That is, until they both hear a click behind them and Hope jumps backwards with almost supernatural speed, letting go of Josie. Leaving the skin where her hands had touched ice cold.
The door to Hope’s room opens and they’re met with the raised eyebrows of a very tired Finch looking at them.
“Josie?” Her eyes flicker over to Hope, seeing how close they’re standing to each other. “What’s happening out here?” She asks, in an accusatory tone. Her arms cross and her face turns sour.
Hope pulls in her bottom lip, chewing it before she looks at Josie. “I’m gonna head out.” She says softly before looking at Finch, attempting not to glare at her as she gives her a nod, quickly disappearing down the stairs. As she leaves, she can faintly hear Josie force out something that sounds like an excuse, and she pulls the hood up over her head and heads out the main entrance, running towards the woods.