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The nightmare woke Gray with a start. It was the same one he’d had many times before, where he had failed to break Carmen out of her VILE mind wipe. His chest hurt, exactly the spot where a scar sat, the scar from the crackle rod that Carmen had fired at him.
Gray was still weak, nowhere near his full strength. Thoughts of the pain that came with his injuries flooded into his mind. The fear that he’d felt when he saw Carmen was still not herself, and thought that he had failed. What if he had failed? He doesn’t think he could live with himself if he had failed to bring her back.
Gray’s heart rate sped up. It felt harder to breathe. Gasping for air, he reached for his phone on the nightstand.
He should do it. Do what Carmen told him to do in times like these - call her.
“Even if it’s three in the morning,” Carmen had said. “I’ll come help.”
It seemed wrong to wake his girlfriend. Carmen had been working a lot, she’d have to wake up in a few hours too, so that she could get a head start on hunting down the remaining VILE operatives and Gray calling her up would only make her day harder.
Gray’s stomach started to hurt, burning into his chest. He was going to pass out if this didn’t stop soon.
With tears welling up in his eyes, he made the call.
---
Carmen answered the phone on the second ring. Calls at two am were rarely good things - she wondered if someone was hurt. When Gray’s name popped up on the caller ID, she felt her heart drop.
“Gray?” She asked, voice thick with sleep.
“C-Carm,” Gray gasped out. “N-need help.”
“Okay. Okay,” Carmen forced herself to remain calm. She stood up, reaching the dresser for a pair of sweatpants. “Are you injured? Where are you?”
“No. Home,” Gray answered, “Please come.”
“Alright, I’m heading over. Give me fifteen minutes,” Carmen said, before hanging up. She threw on the sweats and a hoodie before leaving.
---
Carmen used her key to enter Gray’s apartment, worried about what she might find.
“Gray?” She called out, using her phone’s flashlight to see. “Gray, where are you?”
There was no answer, so Carmen continued on.
The sound of Gray panting heavily hit her as she approached the bedroom.
“Gray,” Carmen said, knocking on the door. “Gray, it’s me. I’m gonna come in.”
Carmen entered the room, seeing Grays bent over form on the bed, hyperventilating.
This had happened before, back in their academy days. Something would set Gray off and he’d panic, hyperventilating and shaking until he made himself sick or blacked out. It took Carmen a while to figure out how to handle it. Talking didn’t seem to help much, but touch did.
Gray was making high pitched gasping noises, his arms wrapped around his chest too tightly. Clearly, things were bad. She quickly moved to Gray’s side.
“Gray, I’m here.” She rested a hand on Gray’s back, “I’m gonna help you, okay?”
Gray said nothing, but nodded, continuing to gasp for air. Everything hurts. His muscles felt so tense, and his stomach still burned, and his heart was going too fast, and his head throbbed. He was going to die, he was sure of it. What a dumb way to go, and in front of Carmen, too.
He was too far gone to notice Carmen kicking off her shoes and sitting on the edge of the bed.
“Gray, I’m going to sit behind you and hold you, okay?” Carmen explained. “I’ll help you scoot up a bit.”
Gray moved under Carmen’s prodding, making enough room for the redhead to sit behind him. Then two arms encircled him, and Carmen pulled him close.
“Come on,” Carmen whispered, “You’re okay. I’m here with you.” She wrapped her arms around Gray’s chest and stomach. “Lean back.”
Gray groaned but obliged, forcing himself to lean into Carmen’s chest. The feel of Carmen’s heartbeat against his back calmed him slightly, and it became a bit easier to breathe.
“There we go. Take a deep breath,” Carmen instructed. “We’ll do it together.” Gray felt Carmen’s chest expand as she breathed in, and he did his best to follow suit.
“Count to three,” Carmen said, silently mouthing the numbers, “And breathe out.”
Gray exhaled, feeling his heart start to slow.
“Again.”
The two breathed in at the same time, held it and released it.
After a few more times, Gray no longer felt like he was in danger of fainting.
“Good job,” Carmen praised him. She had yet to let go of Gray. Experience had taught her that such attacks could last for hours, and Gray would need constant contact during that time.
There was silence as Gray continued the deep breathing, focusing on Carmen’s heartbeat and warmth as he did so.
“Now,” Carmen said, holding Gray a little tighter. “How do you feel? Be honest with me.”
“Like I’m gonna be sick,” Gray answered. “My head hurts. Everything hurts.”
Just speaking those words made Gray’s heart rate pick up again. Carmen gently reached under Gray’s shirt and began to rub his stomach. The motion was soothing and Gray couldn’t help but moan slightly.
“You’re okay. Everything’s okay,” Carmen reiterated. “I’m here with you. I won’t leave you.”
There was another silence as Carmen concentrated on trying to soothe her boyfriend’s pain. She could feel the man tensing beneath her hand. Every now and then Gray’s heart rate would spike again, and Carmen could swear that she saw a tear fall from Gray’s face.
Time passed by slowly, but Gray slowly started feeling better as Carmen stroked his stomach, whispering sweet words into his hair. His tension had released by the time Carmen had spoken again.
“You should try to sleep again,” She whispered, burying her nose in his hair.
“Okay,” Gray agreed. “But you’ll stay?”
“Of course,” Carmen reassured him.
He felt one of Carmen’s hands move away from his stomach as she readjusted, sitting beside Gray. He couldn’t help but groan disappointingly as her hands moved away from him.
Carmen reached for the glass of water on Gray’s nightstand and carefully held it to Gray’s lips.
“Take a few sips.”
Gray reached for the glass himself, but his hand began to shake. Carmen held strong to it, ensuring that it didn’t spill. Gray managed to get down half of it, the water somewhat soothing the burning in his chest and stomach.
He heard the glass touch the wood of his nightstand as Carmen put it back down. Carmen’s hands immediately returned to where they were on his body.
The motions continued to help. Or maybe it was her presence. Or a combination of both. Gray wasn’t entirely sure, but soon enough he felt his body begin to relax. The thoughts that had frightened him just a few moments prior began to slip away and he slumped forward a bit. Carmen just continued rubbing his stomach, her touch soothing Gray.
---
Half an hour later, Gray finally felt tired again. Carmen must have sensed it too, because she started to move away, only stopped when she felt Gray’s hand grip her arm.
“I’m not leaving,” she said, “Just going to help you lie down. I’ll stay with you like I promised.”
Gray didn’t like it, but he knew that soon enough he’d be falling asleep and that he would want to be lying down.
He allowed Carmen to guide him back towards his pillows and to pull the blankets up, feeling somewhat better when he felt the mattress dip beside him as Carmen got into bed as well. Without hesitating, he rolled over towards his girlfriend.
Gray’s half-closed eyes looked into her warm grey-blue ones as she scooted a bit closer to him, before he threw his arm over her waist so it didn’t awkwardly rest between them.
“Want to snuggle?” Carmen asked, a smile in her voice.
“Mhmm,” Gray answered, his eyes heavy.
Carmen helped him, pulling him so that Gray was lying with his head resting on Carmen’s chest. She wrapped an arm around Gray, trying to make sure he continued to feel protected, and began to card her fingers through Gray’s hair.
“Should be protecting you,” Gray whispered, his accent thick, as he snuggled as close as possible to his girlfriend. “Not the other way around.”
“We protect each other, Gray. I’ll be here when you need me, and you’ll be there when I need you.”
“Hmph,” Gray sighed. He didn't like it. He thought it made him look less strong.
“It doesn’t make you any less strong,” Carmen said, and Gray wondered if Carmen could read his mind. “Everyone needs help sometimes. After what you went through, it’s completely normal. I still say you should talk to someone about it though.”
“Have you,” Gray replied.
Carmen chuckled.
“Yes, you do. I meant someone professional.”
Gray slowly shook his head ‘no’. He wasn’t ready for that. Not by a long shot. Besides, what would he say? His now-girlfriend shot him with a sizzle stick while she was mind-wiped to be a thief for her enemies which knocked him out while she crashed out a window, then fought her father-figure/mentor and then gained all her memories back? Yeah, that wouldn't get him thrown in a mental institute at all.
Then another thought occurred to him: what if Carmen was mentioning this because she wanted to leave?
“You won’t go, right?” Gray asked, all too aware of how pathetic it sounded, especially now that he wasn’t in the midst of having what felt like a heart attack.
“You know I won’t.”
Carmen’s heart beat steadily. She was telling the truth.
“You’ll be tired,” Gray said, apologetically. “I made you tired.”
“I’ll live. I’d rather be here with you and be tired at work than to know you were alone for this.”
Gray didn’t respond. He was too sleepy. Carmen was so warm, and soft, and the way Carmen touched his hair was so relaxing.
“Go to sleep, Gray. I’ll be here when you wake up. I love you, I love you so much.”
Gray felt Carmen’s hand move from his hair to his back as Carmen began to rub him there, and he closed his eyes to sleep. “Love you too, Carm.”