Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“He’s got a bruise on his face today,” Shen Yuan reported worriedly from where he was currently trying not to melt over the elliptical machine. He’d been there all morning because he couldn’t sleep and of course - of course! - the pretty man with the ponytail and wrapped hands had come in just as he was hoping to escape. 

Going to the gym hadn’t even been his idea in the first place, but then he’d seen the man and suddenly getting smelly and sweaty wasn’t all that bad, not when he spent most of his time in a mix of awe and extreme worry. 

From day one, Pretty Man had been sporting bruises. Sometimes on his face, sometimes on his shoulders and body. His wrists and knuckles were always wrapped when he came in to lift, but once or twice Shen Yuan had caught him wincing through the glass wall that separated the cardio machines from the weight room, then spots of red oozing over the man’s bindings. 

He was both beautiful and baffling and Shen Yuan had no energy to try to play it cool today. He slumped over the front of the machine in a pitiful mess while his twin brother sighed in his ear.

“Again with this? Can’t you just do anything normal without it turning into a crusade?” Shen Jiu demanded, not that he was any better really. “Have you maybe considered your pretty boy is actually the abuser, not the abused?”

He had considered it, actually, many times. It was easy to decide if he liked or disliked Pretty Man from the safety of his chosen machine for the day - always with the best view into the weight room - and when that thought had first crossed his mind, he’d had half a mind to call someone of authority to at least see what was going on.

But the thing was, Pretty Man didn’t act like some hardcore abuser. He was quiet, kept to himself, and though his prowess with the weights had many people watching him, they all kept their distance too. He didn’t seem to mind this and stayed mostly lost in his thoughts, always with an alarming smattering of bruises all over.

Shen Yuan wasn’t certain when he’d decided Pretty Man was in trouble, but his heart had felt settled on it when he noticed another pattern in Pretty Man’s routine. After every workout, Pretty Man went to the billboard where the community posted ads, mostly for jobs, or services, and most with tear off phone numbers on the bottom of the pages. Shen Yuan had watched Pretty man pull off two numbers so far and both had been - to his horror - for places asking for a roommate.

He told Shen Jiu as such, hoping his older twin’s cantankerous mood would at least lift for some logic. He got another sigh, which was progress, and a pause in the sharp typing on Shen Jiu’s end. “Where is the bruise?”

“His jaw, on the left side,” Shen Yuan said and jumped when the elliptical beneath him beeped in warning. Apparently if one stopped moving, it had something to say about it. Shen Yuan stuck his tongue at the offending machine before continuing his slumped march to make it shut up. “He’s having trouble lifting the weight with his right hand, too. The grip is wrong.”

That was a bit much, he knew, since he was far enough away not to get a clear view of his hand, but Pretty Man’s face was starting to pinch with frustration and pain and Shen Yuan felt all the more determined to go over to him, wrap him up in something warm and nice, and steal him away…

“Wait, that’s not a bad idea,” Shen Yuan gasped to himself just as Shen Jiu, well used to his antics by now, shot out a quick, “hell no.”

“Come on, Jiu-ge! How can I stand by when he’s clearly in distress?” Shen Yuan demanded, finally straightening from his slouch. 

“He’s not some damsel like in those awful novels you read,” Shen Jiu pointed out. ‘This is real life. You don’t know him and you’re hardly his boyfriend. It’s not your business.”

It was a weird disappointment to feel at that statement, especially the hardly his boyfriend part. Shen Yuan pursed his lips, not fully understanding whatever desire his heart was trying to get him to realize, but he knew himself enough to know he couldn’t just stand by when someone was in pain. 

Seeing Pretty man fumble the weight decided him. “I’ll call you back,” he said and promptly hung up on his still fussing twin. He silenced it for good measure and hopped off the elliptical machine. Of course, there was nothing graceful about it since he’d been on it for nearing four hours and his legs were jelly, but thankfully Pretty Man only blinked at him confused when he nearly face planted. His spot today had given him a straight shot to Pretty Man’s favorite corner, but sadly the glass wall went both ways. Shen Yuan brushed himself off with dignity, straightened his glasses, and hurried off to the locker room.

One mad scramble later and Shen Yuan was back in the gym, jogging quickly to the community board to tack up an ad for a roommate. He prayed he’d been fast enough, but Pretty Man was nowhere to be seen in the weight room when he returned. He did his best not to pout too much about that as he searched for a pushpin to use.

He wasn’t aware someone was standing behind him until he bumped right into them, tripping over a blue and white tennis shoe in the process. He squeaked, bracing for impact, and was wholly unprepared for the arm that caught and straightened him back out, wrapped hands and all. He was blushing before he even peeked up at Pretty Man, who’s eyes were a devastating gray up close. Oh, who was he kidding? All of him was devastating up close, especially that bruise on his face, which he could see had a bordering of yellow around it.

His heart skipped with even more determination. “S-sorry about that,” Shen Yuan managed, wondering just how in the hell his life had turned into some meet cute romance novel in the span of five seconds. At least his wasn’t the only one blushing.

“It’s fine.” Pretty Man’s face was delicate and sharp, but his voice was low and soothing, not what Shen Yuan was imagining. He gave off that definite jock vibe, but there was something beaten back about it, something tired and in pain. Immediately Shen Yuan snapped back to reality. Pretty Man was littered in bruises and - now that he was close enough - there was a cut on his neck. Shallow and thin, but still a cut, and he did his best not frown and fuss too much.

Shen Jiu had the right of it in at least this aspect: they were strangers. No matter how he wanted to help, he’d probably only scare Pretty Man off if he suddenly pulled a blanket out of the aether and wrapped him in it, no matter how badly he wanted to.

Instead, he turned back to the board and pinned up his ad, his heart thundering in his chest as he prayed Pretty Man would take the bait.

Things go so much more smoothly in novels, his mind lamented as Pretty Man took his sweet time in looking over what he’d put up, then looked down at a few others, obviously weighing his options. Mine is the best one! He wanted to shout, and awkwardly shuffled his feet, running out of a good excuse to keep standing here like a dumbass. 

Just as he was about to wilt and give up, Pretty Man’s dark eyes finally shot back to his ad, then to him, and - oddly - this elicited yet another fetching blush on his cheeks. “You’re… looking for a roommate?” he managed slowly, like he was choosing every word as carefully as possible. His gaze didn’t stay on Shen Yuan long, as though he was afraid of confrontational eye contact, and Shen Yuan felt himself come back to life with righteous fury. Definitely abused! He really was in distress! What else could it be? 

“I am,” Shen Yuan said calmly, adjusting his glasses in a show of nonchalance. “Are you looking for a place?”

Somehow, Pretty Man blushed darker and Shen Yuan was struck suddenly by how young he looked. How vulnerable. Gods above, who could beat someone like this? It was disgusting.

“I… what is your rent?” Pretty Man said, even more awkward and scared. 

“What are you paying now?” Shen Yuan countered, since money wasn’t really the issue. On his ad he’d said rent tbd. He hadn’t wanted to set too low a rent to be suspicious or too high to make Pretty Man think his second room was unattainable. By the near-religious way Pretty Man looked over the roommate ads every time he came to the gym, Pretty Man was desperate for something. Shen Yuan couldn’t blame him. Who would want to be stuck with someone who hit them just as often?

Pretty Man gave him a figure in a cautious tone. Shen Yuan immediately halved it and delighted in how surprise cut through the uncertainty and pain in the other’s gorgeous face. Looking vulnerable made Pretty Man look surprisingly young, but so did amazement. He beamed at Pretty Man to show it was very alright to be hopeful and got yet another bright blush. It was so cute that Shen Yuan wanted to coo. He settled for offering his hand.

“Shen Yuan,” he introduced himself and waited, bright eyed and happy, for Pretty Man to accept his offer. For a split second, he was worried Pretty Man wouldn’t, given the deer in the headlight expression that immediately overtook his cute face. After a long, painful breath however, Pretty Man’s slender fingers finally slid against his own, calloused and bruised, and Shen Yuan could feel his heart break in a sudden wave of protectiveness at the shy look given back. Protectiveness, and something warm he had no name for.

“...Liu Qingge,” Pretty Man all but whispered, his eyes darting down under long lashes. Shen Yuan squeezed his hand lightly before letting go, which seemed to startle Pre- no, Liu Qingge even further.

“Well, Liu Qingge, if you’d like, I can show you the room?” Say yes, his heart chanted. Say yes!

It was akin to pulling teeth, but eventually Liu Qingge nodded, still a little on guard, still very much not okay, but there was a relief in his gaze that hadn’t been there before as he picked up his bag to follow Shen Yuan out. And that alone decided him. Shen Yuan would do his best to help Liu Qingge through whatever torment was obviously chasing him, and he’d do it happily. He just had to get Liu Qingge to let him.

Hey, it was easy in his romance novels. If they could do it, then he could do it too!

Chapter Text

He’d been without a roommate for long enough that when Liu Qingge moved in, Shen Yuan almost felt taken off guard. Which was ridiculous since this was his own idea, but there was something about having Liu Qingge quietly moving around his home that he couldn’t get over. He found himself paying more attention to what he was wearing at all times, and how bad of a mess he looked between beta reading chapters that Shang Qinghua sent him. 

When he’d first started living alone, he’d spent some days in underwear, socks, and a shirt, his glasses and an ever present mug of tea or coffee as he shuffled to and fro. Now, just imagining Liu Qingge witnessing him in such a state made him feel flustered and hot all over. He’d had to dig deep to salvage some sweatpants that weren’t terribly stained and actually took to carrying around a comb so his sometimes wild hair didn’t get the best of him.

Because Liu Qingge… well. Shen Yuan was beginning to doubt Liu Qingge could look terrible in any capacity. It was clear in the first week that his new roommate was just as anxious as he was, taking care to always be covered, his hair nice and slicked back, the sleep patted away from his face. He was endearingly awkward and soft spoken, never meeting Shen Yuan’s eye for more than a few seconds at a time before a bright blush would overtake his face and he’d fidget, like he was waiting for Shen Yuan to get wise and throw him to the curb.

Shen Yuan had gotten wiser these two weeks, and it had everything to do with wanting very much to keep him.

Because there was a fire in Liu Qingge that came out sometimes, a brightness in his eye that sharpened it like a flint. It happened when he talked on the phone to who Shen Yuan decided was the Asshole Ex, and he’d admit to preening with utter pride to see Liu Qingge had some fight left in him. Distance really could make a difference, and as the bruises faded, Liu Qingge seemed to come alive again.

He wasn’t sure what the trigger had been, but one day Liu Qingge was still tiptoeing around him, and yet the next he was definitely more relaxed. Perhaps it had been when he’d ordered take out for them both? Maybe being allowed to make allowances for not just himself but Shen Yuan as well had finally driven home he was wanted here, welcome here?

Shen Yuan had no straight answer, but he was pleased as pie to see Liu Qingge really take in his freedom, like a stray cat brought in from the gutter finally being allowed a soft pillow and gentle pets. Not that Shen Yuan was petting Liu Qingge, but… not the point!

Liu Qingge had come out of his room shirtless once or twice and Shen Yuan had almost dropped his tea. The sight of him so at ease and confident had his heart skipping with happiness and something a lot hotter that prickled under his shirt collar. He still wasn’t sure what that was about, but it was becoming more and more persistent, making him feel fluttery like he was about to embarrass himself even while fully clothed and presentable.

Shen Jiu had only snorted at him when he’d tried to explain and he could still hear Shang Qinghua’s bark of laughter at his plight. Clearly he was missing something when it came to himself and Liu Qingge, but it was hard to think when the man’s chest was just right there. A little brain fuzzy was normal! Right?

Still, that was comparable to the dread he felt today, when he’d woken early to find Liu Qingge gone with no usual note to explain it. The night before, Liu Qingge had been on the phone with Asshole Ex again and Shen Yuan had watched the man’s mood drop. With a sick feeling, he wondered if Liu Qingge had been bribed into a meet up, or worse. And on the eve of the Dragon Boat Festival of all times. Didn’t he know this was a time to keep out of bad situations? Shen Yuan wanted to shake him.

He settled for dejectedly working on their zongzi to pass the time, something he’d thought to do with Liu Qingge as a way to celebrate his turn from bad luck to good. Was this a remission? Was he still under the throes of his ex? Why had he gone when he clearly hadn’t wanted to? 

That fight in Liu Qingge was so strong, Shen Yuan had thought this break away would have made him strong enough to say no. That must mean Asshole Ex had something on him? Debt, maybe? Or blackmail?

Shen Yuan bit at his thumbnail worriedly until it started to ache. He was halfway done wrapping the zongzi and there was still no sign of Liu Qingge. His fingers itched to do something productive, to help, but what could he do? He didn’t even know where to begin to look for Liu Qingge. Their roommate agreement had held no mention of a previous address, though the bag Liu Qingge had brought to live out of was just his gym bag and a satchel for a laptop. Maybe that’s what the ex had on him? The rest of his stuff?

He was close to screaming when the lock on the door finally turned and his heart leapt right into his throat. Relief, happiness…

He was running to the entryway with a grin on his face when Liu Qingge ducked inside. However, whatever warm greeting Shen Yuan had on his tongue choked immediately in his mouth as it registered what he was seeing.

Bruises. Cuts. Blood. For one horrible moment he stopped breathing altogether and felt his world start to tilt.

A beaten up hand caught his shoulder and that brought everything back to focus again. Anger could wait, he reasoned, immediately just taking that hand and dragging Liu Qingge towards the bathroom. He wasn’t sure what his face was doing, but Liu Qingge’s struggles were half hearted at best and he plopped down on the toilet seat without a word the moment Shen Yuan pinned him with a look.

“What happened?” Shen Yuan managed, scrambling for his first aid kit. He’d bought it when he’d first moved in and only because Shen Jiu had insisted. He felt a moment of panic grow as he opened it and realized he had no idea what he was doing.

His lips trembled as he looked at Liu Qingge, somehow managing to look so small where he was, and there was a note of panic in the man’s face when they met each other’s eye.

“I… don't worry about it,” Liu Qinnge said, gruff and a bit hoarse, and if it weren’t for the way his eyes were so bright with worry and fear, Shen Yuan felt angry enough to push the issue.

Instead he pushed only a little. “How can I not worry?” he demanded, reading through the various tubes and packets with fluttering hands. Thankfully, his mind wasn’t in such total shock that he couldn’t read and figure out a basic plan for what to do. He set them in order on the sink counter, his gaze pained as he took in the fresh marks.

“Take off your shirt,” he managed in some semblance of calm, and almost managed a smile at how flustered Liu Qingge seemed at the very idea. This was hardly a time for smiling, but still he felt the want to if only because Liu Qingge had that magic to him. It was just too hard not to smile at him, no matter how worried he was.

“Nothing’s broken,” Liu Qingge assured, if that could even be considered reassurance, and carefully extracted his tank top off. It was stretchy, but still managed to pull against the areas of blood that had crusted. A rather menacing cut on his shoulder began to bleed again.

It took all of Shen Yuan’s discipline to stick to his task. Once more, the urge to wrap Liu Qingge in something warm and soft and keep him forever rose in his heart, cradling in the pain, fondness, and exasperation he felt inside. A heady mix, one that allowed him to wobbly grin at Liu Qingge’s guilty face.

He cleaned the worst ones with water on some balled up toilet paper, then with alcohol swabs to disinfect them. One particular puncture on Liu Qingge’s arm looked almost like a tooth mark and he made extra sure it was clean for fear of infection.

Through the process, Liu Qingge’s expression pinched with pain and every once in a while he flinched under Shen Yuan’s gentle touch. The suspected bite was the worst one given Shen Yuan had to dig into it with a swab to make sure he got it all. Liu Qingge’s hand balled up on his knee, twitching, and Shen Yuan didn’t even think, just reached down to take it in his own as he reached for another swab.

“Sorry,” he breathed, holding Liu Qingge’s hand close to his racing heart as his other hand gently dabbed away the last of the blood. It was a clean wound, which he hoped would be good enough, and he reached for the bandages, his hand gently slipping from Liu Qingge’s twitching fingers.

To his surprise, Liu Qingge held onto him, a tremble moving through his body, and Shen Yuan went still as the grip tightened, then pulled him in. Suddenly, he had Liu Qingge’s face in his stomach. It wasn’t a hug, but it wasn’t not a hug either and Shen Yuan softened at the show of trust, even though his heart was still aching to see him so beaten.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” Shen Yuan promised, warm with conviction, and his free hand slid through that messy ponytail, a tingle of delight racing down his spine when Liu Qingge didn’t pull away, just allowed the touch and slow petting. Taking comfort from it, perhaps.

He really was like a stray cat coming back home. Shen Yuan closed his eyes around a lump in his throat, and let Liu Qingge take whatever quiet he needed. He wasn’t going anywhere.

And by the shaky breath pressed into his shirt, it seemed Liu Qingge was finally understanding that too.

Chapter Text

It was a bit of a mess trying to make all the zongzi after Liu Qingge was tended to, partly because his hands had to be wrapped - which he’d been kind enough to show Shen Yuan how to do and all his flustered muttering and blushing had lit a fire in his stomach that still hadn’t left - and wrapped hands were a bit of a clumsy hindrance when trying to wrap the leaf securely around the rice.

The other part proving difficult to navigate was the fact that the man was shirtless still, with all those worrying bruises, cuts, and scrapes on full display. Shen Yuan still wasn’t sure if it was the sight of them or Liu Qingge’s rather beautiful body that his eyes wandered to. Also not good for wrapping zongzi, that. Or for his blood pressure apparently.

Between the two of them, more than a few zongzi came out more like lopsided messes. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but laugh at himself for his jumping heart or Liu Qingge’s pink cheeks, and after one particularly sad looking dumpling was barely salvaged with a rewrap, Liu Qingge managed a soft chuckle too. 

And that. Well. How was he supposed to concentrate after hearing that?

“It’ll still be edible,” Shen Yuan heard himself babbling, quite lost in how laughter brought life back to Liu Qingge’s face. They were of a similar height, but he suddenly wanted to go on tiptoe and lean in closer, just to see it all the better. “ Mama always told me presentation does nothing for taste.”

A snort, a bit of a smile, and something in Shen Yuan started to fly. His heartbeat kicked up a notch or ten and he felt his own face go utterly warm. Liu Qingge was still chuckling, like he wasn’t sure he was making the sound correctly, and his strong shoulders started to turtle up in shyness. The sight only made that warmth in him grow, so much so he wiggled with it. How was it possible that one person could make him feel so… weightless? Buzzy?

“You’re being kind,” he huffed, holding up the wrapped zongzi. In truth it wasn’t too bad and the chances were good that it wouldn’t come apart while being cooked. So Shen Yuan reached over happily and plucked it from his hands, smiling toothily, unable to stop himself.

“It’s true! I’ll eat it to prove it to you,” Shen Yuan sassed, feeling giddy as he added the zongzi to their pile.

Liu Qingge gave him a look, his gray eyes so dark that Shen Yuan was a little lost in them for a moment. They reminded him of a thunderstorm rolling in, of rain and the stormy ocean. Everything he liked. “Has anyone told you that you’re a bit of a brat?” Liu Qingge said before seeming to remember himself. His blush came back tenfold and Shen Yuan lost to his desire to laugh and bump their arms together, though make sure to keep it light in deference to his freshly bandaged wounds.

“Takes a brat to know a brat,” he sing-songed in return, smug at the soft chuckle he got. Two laughs in one evening, he was on a roll!

“Brat,” Liu Qingge managed, still a bit uncertain and red faced, but with a true amusement there too that only made his shy expression even more adorable to Shen Yuan, if that were possible. 

He’d long come to the conclusion that Liu Qingge was handsome, of course. The man was downright beautiful with his fine features and lean frame. He was built for action, like he’d walked right out of one of Shang Qinghua’s trashy romances Shen Yuan would never admit he liked. He’d even stopped Shen Yuan from falling like some damsel in said trashy romance novel. He was any woman’s dream. 

But this? Shyness, cuteness. Shen Yuan could honestly say he hadn’t really ever considered a fellow man to be cute before. That was usually an adjective he reserved for girls, and girls he liked in particular. He liked coquettish charm and independence, liked seeing cleverness in deep eyes. Somehow Liu Qingge fit into this category, despite being unashamedly male, and that thought made his heart skip yet another beat.

As he watched Liu Qingge do his best to fold a new leaf into shape to hold the rice, Shen Yuan was struck with how nice this felt, how lovely Liu Qingge actually was, and dumbfoundedly reached for his own leaf to attempt to do the same.

Shen Jiu had once nearly self destructed when he had a gay panic. Shen Yuan usually wrote off popular tropes as pure nonsense, but in all honesty what his twin had gone through had been a very real panic in every sense of the word. More than once he’d been called to a strip club of all places to collect Shen Jiu from where he’d drunken himself into a stupor in his way of convincing himself that he wasn’t, in fact, in love with a fellow teacher at work, and a very male teacher at that. 

He still wasn’t sure what had scared Shen Jiu so much at the prospect. Perhaps it was because Shen Jiu had never liked anyone up to that point and had felt he had himself - and his life - under complete control. Sudden feelings for another person were always a shock to the system, but for his brother it’d been akin to lighting a fuse.

For all Shen Jiu was stubborn, strong, and collected, when it came to matters of his heart he’d been forced to face that he was wholly unprepared. After all, romantic love couldn’t be taught, only experienced, and Shen Jiu had never responded well to being afraid.

It’d been nothing short of a miracle that Shen Jiu hadn’t self-destructed on the spot. He was too proud, in the end, to allow that, and had simply decided to do what he always did with obstacles that landed in his way: he fought them head on. 

Shen Yuan still wasn’t sure if his brother considered giving into his feelings and agreeing to date Yue Qingyuan was a victory or a defeat, but he was happier than Shen Yuan had ever seen him, so he supposed that was what mattered the most.

During that time, he’d often considered what it would be like to have his own gay panic. He’d laughed it off at the time, because he did find girls attractive, desirable, and had even had a long term girlfriend for a couple years. He’d enjoyed being with her and hadn't felt like he was questioning himself throughout. He was straight, that was that, and his brother wasn’t. Simple.

Not to say what he felt now was panic necessarily, but it definitely wasn’t straight either. If he was honest with himself, he’d had thoughts of Liu Qingge’s wrapped hands that would put Shang Qinghua’s romances to shame. He could appreciate a beautiful man, he’d allowed himself that. But this?

Appreciation wasn’t the right word for it, was it? The burn in his belly, the wiggle in his feet, the heat crawling down his neck… Liu Qingge was beautiful, but it was more than that. It was his shy smile, the soft laugh, the way he blushed when they made eye contact. The way he’d shivered at being touched so gently, the darkness of his eyes.

When it clicked into place, Shen Yuan wanted to kick himself, or perhaps laugh. Attraction. A real budding feeling in his heart that warmed him, made him happy. Even now he was grinning, even as his perception of the world tilted to a new angle. He was attracted to a man, to Liu Qingge, who was sweet and awkward and standing in his kitchen shirtless, covered in bruises and cuts and acting like it was routine.

He dropped the leaf he’d been trying to fold and bit his lip. Attraction to someone who’d just come out of an abusive hellhole… what was wrong with him? How could he even begin to justify such feelings? Liu Qingge needed a friend, not someone trying to climb him like a tree the moment he came back battered by Asshole Ex! How was that even better?

A hand connected to his upper back, warm and feather light despite the bulk of the bandages, and gently moved up to his shoulder. It was hardly some romantic caress, but Shen Yuan shivered regardless and peeked up at Liu Qingge with a bit of a squeak. For his part, Liu Qingge didn’t seem to know what to do either and for a moment they just stood there, wide eyed, over their bowls of zongzi filling.

“...you alright?” Liu Qingge asked, licking his lips like his mouth was dry. Shen Yuan hated how his eyes snapped down to it and he forced them back up, kicking himself for being so weak. But now that his brain was finally on board, his body seemed to think it was the perfect time to turn traitor and he was leaning in before he could catch himself, their shoulders bumping again lightly.

“I’m fine, just remembering something,” Shen Yuan stumbled, thankful it was true enough, and smiled at him.

Liu Qingge’s blush grew at that and he hesitantly smiled back. His hand was still there, a spot of warmth that seemed to grow, and Shen Yuan wondered if puddling right there on the spot was an appropriate Adult Reaction. Probably not.

He turned in a bit then, facing Liu Qingge fully, and was caught again by how dark the man’s eyes were. He was used to seeing them brighter, sharper with intent. This softness was new and precious and everything Shen Yuan suddenly wanted, but he had no idea how to ask for it, if he even should. There was no guarantee of anything, after all. He didn’t know Liu Qingge’s preferences in romantic partners, didn’t know if he’d even want one with an Asshole Ex. He didn’t know for certain what had caused the fight that led to bruises and what made Liu Qingge so proficient in wrapping torn knuckles. Hell, two weeks ago he hadn’t even known his name. Surely there were rules about this. Etiquette. Something! 

But seeing Liu Qingge so shy and red made his damned heart hope, and feeling that hand slowly travel to cup his neck was like his own fuse was lit. He had no idea if he would be a powder keg or just a firework, but there was no stopping it now, and he closed his eyes to savor the feeling of calloused fingers being so, so gentle on his skin.

When the kiss came, it was short, a tad lopsided and too far to the right. A glancing blow, more than anything, but the sound he made surprised even him. It wasn’t his best kiss, or the most passionate one he’d had, but all his thoughts left in a dizzying rush as Liu Qingge started to pull back, that fear in his face like he’d overstepped, and all Shen Yuan knew was that he had to fix it and fix it now.

So he cupped Liu Qingge’s cheeks and brought him back for another, and another, until Liu Qingge’s hands found his waist and a soft noise breathed over his mouth, then everything else just ceased to matter.

Chapter Text

Eventually, the zongzi had been cooked and eaten. Shen Yuan felt a bit kiss-drunk when they finally moved to the couch to sit and share a bottle of sweet wine. He supposed the idea was to watch a movie, or some television, but neither of them managed to reach for the remote. Between kisses and soft chuckles, as well as sips of wine, Shen Yuan’s focus was solely on Liu Qingge and how close he could possibly wedge himself into his side. The answer to that was very close indeed, and soon his legs were thrown over the other’s lap.

Liu Qingge was still blushing and still seemed a tad surprised that this was happening at all, which delighted Shen Yuan more than he would ever admit. Seeing the shy joy in those eyes after each kiss was becoming swiftly addicting. No wonder Shang Qinghua wrote them into his trashy novels so often!

“How long have you wanted to do that?” Shen Yuan finally remembered to ask after a cup of wine was making him feel extra warm and giggly. With the same amount in his own system, Liu Qingge had only become more sweetly awkward, his cheeks a permanent red. Shen Yuan touched his lips in memory of that first kiss, which was somehow still there under all the other impressions of kisses left thus far. He grinned.

Liu Qingge looked away at the question refusing to turn his head back even when Shen Yuan patted at his chin. “Tell me!” he cooed, pleadingly, and wiggled all the closer. The man’s arm tightened around him in reflex, even now keeping him steady and secure, and the thought was like a flood of butterflies lifting inside him, making him float. “Qing- di…”

“Shameless,” Liu Qingge muttered, very focused on a spot on Shen Yuan’s wall. Eventually, though, he caved to the petting and sighed deeply. “How long have you been going to the gym?” was his answer, which made Shen Yuan feel even more silly.

“You should have said something,” Shen Yuan huffed, thinking of the months they could have had extra if they’d taken the time to actually speak to one another. He pouted to have missed such an opportunity, but it was easy to ignore when Liu Qingge finally yielded to his touches, turning back and allowing Shen Yuan to kiss both their pouts away. 

“...I… am not good at this,” Liu Qingge’s mumbled softly into his lips. Shen Yuan tucked an arm around his shoulders in a kind of hug, feeling his heart ache with fondness. He, of course, did not agree to Liu Qingge’s opinion of himself, but he doubted saying so would change anything.

And besides, how could Liu Qingge come marching up and ask him out when he was clearly being beaten by his Asshole Ex? Shen Yuan had never had a bad relationship to this extent, but he could imagine how hard it would be to trust anyone, let alone notice someone else. It just drove home how strong Liu Qingge truly was, that in all his isolation and pain, he’d still felt brave enough to grow affection for someone else.

Shen Yuan kissed him again, promising himself he wouldn’t take that for granted. It was an honor to be chosen by such a man as this, and he punctuated it with extra kisses over Liu Qingge’s face until he was flustered and stammering and pulling back, making him giggle all the more.

“We found our way,” Shen Yuan said, letting that be the end of it, and nuzzled his face into Liu Qingge’s neck. There was a bandage there and he kissed it softly before laying his head down fully against him. Even while clearly hurt, there was something about Liu Qingge that was so comforting. Shen Yuan had never been huge on snuggling, probably because he was usually the utilized pillow and always ended up in uncomfortable positions, but in this moment he knew, without a doubt, he could fall asleep in Liu Qingge’s arms, and happily. He did his best not to, however, as his eyes fell over the other’s chest and all the bruises. 

He pulled his arms back in to let himself be fully held, and so he could have a hand free to gently trace a few of the bruises. They were mostly over his ribs and shoulders, going for maximum internal bruising. A few had scrapes over them as well, which Shen Yuan carefully touched. Liu Qingge flinched a bit, his grip on Shen Yuan’s back tightening, but he didn’t pull away, so Shen Yuan kept going.

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” he murmured, not wanting to pry, but also beyond curious and angry as to what could have caused this treatment. The months watching him at the gym had been smattered with witnessing healing bruises, then renewed ones, over and over. Watching Liu Qingge’s ease with maneuvering around wrapped hands only added to the idea that it was routine. He bit his lip in worry. “Is there… something I can do?”

There was a long pause, so long that for a moment Shen Yuan didn’t think Liu Qingge would even answer him. It was clear the topic was a sore one, as raw as the marks on his skin. But when Shen Yuan pressed another kiss to his neck, he gave a soft, shuddering breath and his hand on Shen Yuan’s back gently rubbed.

“You’re already doing it,” he murmured. 

Shen Yuan’s heart did a funny flip at that and he peeked up at him through his lashes. “Kisses better?” he guessed, finding a smile even with the painful idea. He sat up enough to meet his eye. Liu Qingge blushed all over again, but allowed Shen Yuan to kiss him, which answered that question well enough.

It was a bit of a thrill to him how soft Liu QIngge’s lips actually were and how that, more often than not, it was Shen Yuan in charge of how deep and slow it went. Liu Qingge could probably bend Shen Yuan into a pretzel with no problem, yet in Shen Yuan’s arms he was as pliant as freshly kneaded dough.

Shen Yuan took Liu Qingge’s cup and set it on the coffee table with his own, then moved to straddle his lap. Those stormy eyes went a bit wide at the new position and Shen Yuan felt a shiver tingle down him at just how much he liked the view. Such a man holding him like this, watching him with a desiring, yet shy gaze. He felt powerful and trusted, a fact that made him wiggle a little in his seat. Liu Qingge made a slightly strangled sound in response, gaining his grin once again.

“One day, I hope you’ll be ready to tell me what’s going on,” he said, his hands sliding down Liu Qingge’s chest with splayed fingers. “And if there’s ever more I can do for you, tell me. I want to help you, Qing-di. No one deserves to be treated like this.”

He could almost see the conflict in Liu Qingge’s expression as he soaked in Shen Yuan’s words. Cautiously, his wrapped hands cupped Shen Yuan’s hips and stayed there, a hint of boldness and insecurity in one. 

“I will tell you,” Liu Qingge murmured back and closed his eyes when Shen Yuan cupped his face. “Everything, and anything I can think of. When I am ready. I promise.”

Shen Yuan’s heart swelled with pride and something far warmer that made him blush. He leaned in with a smile to seal it with a kiss. “Holding you to that, Qing-di,” he said softly, nibbling on Liu Qingge’s lower lip, then chuckled as he was pulled in closer, the time for talk obviously over. He was more than happy to comply with the unspoken demand for kisses. If he had his way, Liu Qingge would always be covered in them.

Chapter Text

They’d made it nearly three weeks before Asshole Ex called again. Shen Yuan knew it was them the moment Liu Qingge lifted his phone. Seeing his expression darken and pinch as though in pain was like an ice pick cracking down on the barrier of his reality, shattering it. They’d been doing so well and Liu Qingge was starting to find some of his inner boldness with him, his ease and trust. The bruises were healed as were most of the cuts, and like Asshole Ex knew it, the call came, as though they’d just been waiting for Liu Qingge’s body to clear so they could destroy it all over again.

What was worse, the moment the call ended, Liu Qingge’s face fell back into that scared uncertainty when their eyes met and Shen Yuan knew, without a word being spoken, that whatever Asshole Ex had demanded this time, Liu Qingge was going to go to them.

It was rather astonishing the levels of stubbornness Shen Yuan had in himself he’d never known. “Don’t go back to them,” he blurted out and that wide-eyed look he got only made the words faster. “I have no right to say that, I know, we’ve only been dating a little bit, but Qing-di, this person hurts you and you’re better than that. Just stay with me, it’ll be alright. Whatever they have on you… we- we’ll take them to court!” he exclaimed in desperation. “Just say the word and we’ll press charges!”

There was a long pause at the end of that, and for some reason Liu Qingge’s expression had turned… confused? 

“...A-Yuan,” he said carefully, mouth twisting into a guilty frown. “Just where do you think I go when they call?”

Now it was Shen Yuan’s turn to tilt his head in confusion, as well as a swell of embarrassment when he realized that perhaps he’d misread this situation utterly. His face bloomed with heat. “I… your ex? A total asshole of… an ex?”

To Liu Qingge’s credit, he didn’t laugh at his stumbling, though he wasn’t really the type to do that anyway. Instead, his warm hands took Shen Yuan’s own with a deep, deep sigh.

“She’s an asshole, but she’s not my ex,” Liu Qingge told him, and his heart spiked up with fear again, his mind whirling with all the possibilities that could lead Liu Qingge into being beaten to a pulp once a month. Gangs came to mind, or drugs. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you, but I don’t want you to misunderstand, or think I’m running off to be with someone else.”

His conviction warmed a part of Shen Yuan that had iced over, but only just. There was a shake in Liu Qingge’s hands as they held onto him and some of his conviction started to crack with fear while Shen Yuan searched his face. “What is it?”

Liu Qingge blanched, but nonetheless explained in a quiet, ashamed rush that flowed over Shen Yuan like a flood. Words like gang debt, and police informant, as well as underground fighting ring hit him like white hot pokers, but it was when he said sting operation tonight that Shen Yuan truly started to feel afraid. 

“But what if they know it’s you?” he squeaked, his grip tightening on Liu Qingge. “No one should play with your life like this, especially not a cop and definitely not you!”

“It’s either this, or stay under the thumb of a gang until I'm rendered useless,” Liu Qingge grimaced, his quiet acceptance of his fate doing more to fill Shen Yuan with a sense of powerlessness than anything spoken so far. A part of his brain didn’t even want to believe the explanation, for surely it was too far-fetched, too strange to be anything other than fiction. But the bruises stood on testament enough, as did the timing of each beating, and all the constant phone conversations with Asshole Ex. Not an ex, apparently, but a detective from the local police. 

Shen Yuan hated it immediately and fought hard against disappointment that life could have failed Liu Qingge so spectacularly. “You’re worth more than this, Qing-di.”

Liu Qingge pulled him in fiercely, wrapping his arms around him with a strength that made Shen Yuan’s eyes prick. Such power, no wonder he was exploited, and he held onto him just as tightly, sniffling into his neck.

“I took the debt so my sister would not,” was Liu Qingge’s next admission, and his voice was shaking, but still brave against his shoulder. “The debt is deducted from my winnings in payments, the rest I send to her. This isn’t about worth, A-Yuan. This is about fighting for who I love.”

“Then you’d better be fighting for yourself too,” Shen Yuan breathed, pulling back to grip his face and stare into those eyes he’d come to love so much. The idea that Liu Qingge had a sibling he was desperate to help only made the affection he felt for him grow, and when they kissed, he was only sorry that it was a tad damp with the tears that slipped free from his face. He quickly wiped them away. “When do you have to go?”

“Tonight,” Liu Qingge said, regretful, and he tensed again, as though waiting for Shen Yuan to kick him out. In all honesty, Shen Yuan wondered if that was the appropriate response when someone discovered their boyfriend was working with police to bring down an underground fighting ring. All relationships had baggage, but this seemed very huge to get around, and it was clear Liu Qingge believed he’d lost his chances with Shen Yuan, like he was on a time clock.

Yet… if it was true, then Shen Yuan could only feel awe, worry, and pride. Not just any man could do such things, and maybe that made him an idiot, but at least he would be an idiot with Liu Qingge still in his life. He reached up to kiss him again.

“Then come back,” Shen Yuan breathed. “Come back home. Come back in one piece. Don’t let yourself be played by both sides.”

Liu Qingge’s resignation scared him, but it was easy to believe in him when he held him so close. “I promise, I will.” 

It was easy to believe that promise, because Liu Qingge had always kept them with him. He was strong and loyal and it was clear by how he kissed so passionately that he knew where he was wanted. It was a small consolation and one Shen Yuan held to his heart as tightly as he could, even as their kisses turned uncountable throughout the evening, all the way up to the moment Liu Qingge left.

He had promised to come back, so he would, and Shen Yuan curled up on the couch with his eyes glued to his phone, waiting and worrying. “It’ll be fine,” he whispered to himself, desperate to feel less terrified. “He’ll come back in the morning.”

He didn’t.

Chapter Text

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but suddenly his phone was buzzing loudly on the coffee table with a call. Shen Yuan flailed a bit as he was jerked from his uneasy dreams and quickly fumbled for the phone, panicked. 

“Qing-di?” he said in lieu of a greeting, hoping it was Liu Qingge on the line. He’d been too quick to even have read the caller ID, something he very much regretted as a different voice answered him.

“Is this Shen Yuan?” the woman said in that kind voice all receptionists had. The kind of voice that could tell you the sky was blue and you were dying all in the same tone. Shen Yuan immediately went cold.

“This is him.”

“This is Sun Tzu General Hospital,” the woman continued and Shen Yuan sat stiffly upright in response, his heart all but stopping in his chest. “We’ve recently admitted a patient by the name of Liu Qingge and you were listed on his emergency contact list.”

It almost didn’t make sense, hearing it put out so simply. Liu Qingge was in the hospital and somehow Shen Yuan was his contact. For a split second, that was the part that dumbfounded him the most before the rest of it steamrolled him over. Then there was nothing but ice cold terror as he freed himself from the blanket.

“Is he okay?” Shen Yuan scrambled to his room to dress and grab his keys and wallet, trying very hard for calm and not sure he was succeeding.

The woman had obviously gotten well used to panicking callers because she assured him in the same tone that Liu Qingge was fine and being held overnight for serious injuries, but he was stable and in no real risk of death. They were just waiting for him to wake up. 

In a kind of odd numbness, she gave him the room number, and the floor, then the times that visitors were permitted. Her hang up was just as pleasant as her greeting had been and somehow that only made Shen Yuan all the more terrified. Liu Qingge was in the hospital. No one had the right to sound so calm about this!

It was a weird haze getting into a taxi and being carted off to the hospital. He was vaguely aware of paying, if only because it had forced him to focus, but the time between sitting down and getting out was nothing but a blur. One minute, he was at his house. The next minute, he was rushing through the main doors and up to the first secretary he could find.

He’d never liked hospitals. Once, when he was seven, he’d been struck by a car while on his bike. His upper arm had been broken in half and he’d spent the first few scary hours in a sterile room surrounded by nurses and faces he didn’t know. Shen Jiu, who had been riding his bike too, had burst in the moment he’d been allowed and jumped into the bed with him, doing his usual worried, yet angry sounding chatter to fill up the time until they could go home. 

Shen Jiu’s voice had drowned out the horrible beeps of the machines, had brought a familiar warmth to the otherwise strange world that was every hospital. They were places of healing, yet he only felt scared here, and as a nurse led him to Liu Qingge’s room, he only felt dread. 

Liu Qingge looked as bad as he’d ever seen him, only this time more force had been applied to his face. His nose was sporting a dark purple bruise, as was his right eye, and his lip had a cut on the bottom corner. There was a bandage wrapped around a wound on his temple, and his hands, arms, and chest had been bandaged too. 

Shen Yuan’s mouth went dry. He was gently directed to a chair so he could sit beside him. It was, thankfully, the hand without an IV in it that he could grab and his eyes stung with bitter, scared tears as he gently held on. The nurse murmured some sort of soft reassurance he could barely hear, then he was alone in the quiet, with the horrid beeping ringing in his ears.

“Qing-di?” Shen Yuan squeezed his grip in a vain hope Liu Qingge would hear him, but nothing. He just kept steadily breathing, out cold from all the pain medication. A relief, though it made it hard as he sat and waited, not sure what else to do. He wondered if Liu Qingge’s sister had been told, or if Liu Qingge had kept her off his records so she couldn’t be traced. He hoped it hadn’t come to that, and it probably hadn’t since Shen Yuan himself was on the contact list, and the idea that he could be about to meet someone so important to Liu Qingge over his wrecked body in a hospital was mortifying.

He leaned in to press his face on an uncovered part of Liu Qingge’s side and took a shaky breath, feeling both too wired to rest and suddenly exhausted. He closed his eyes and just breathed in tandem to Liu Qingge’s steady beat, and though it didn’t let him sleep, it did help some of the fear settle.

Liu Qingge was hurt, but he was safe now, getting the help he needed. That had to be good enough. Shen Yuan’s heart ached as he took in all the new injuries, hoping whatever plan had been going down the night before had been successful, or at least worth this. He sniffled angrily that Liu Qingge had been forced into it. If he ever saw that cop or any member of the fighting ring, he’d punch them.

There was a tick in the heart rate machine that had him sitting up again. “Qing-di?” he called, hopeful, and another tick popped up. Liu Qingge’s fingers twitched against his own and slowly, Liu Qingge squinted his eyes open.

His head had been tilted slightly, so all he saw first was the hospital wall. The confusion was immediate on Liu Qingge’s face until the machine beeped. A tired look followed that as the realization sunk in and Shen Yuan felt his heart break all over again at how routine this seemed.

He squeezed Liu Qingge’s hand. “Qing-di?”

Those eyes slid over to him, and Shen Yuan could see the drug-induced haze of them. Clearly, he was still very high on the morphine, because he stared at Shen Yuan for a solid ten seconds in silence, then, of all things, blushed hotly.

“Y-you?” A raspy squeak, and when Liu Qingge realized Shen Yuan was holding his head, his heart rate shot up. “I… why are you h-here?”

It was cute enough Shen Yuan smiled, though he had a feeling the morphine had made Liu Qingge… forget a few things alongside the pain. “I’m on your contact list,” he pointed out and Liu Qingge managed to look both utterly confused and appalled at once. He knew the sober Liu Qingge well enough to know that he wouldn’t have made the choice to add Shen Yuan’s number lightly. Surprise it may have been - and still was - nonetheless it was the kind of bold trust that made Liu Qingge up.

“I don’t even…” Liu Qingge tried to rationalize, which had to be like trying to think with soup as a brain, and Shen Yuan had to giggle at how flustered he was. “We’ve never…”

“Because you’re my boyfriend,” Shen Yuan had the delight to tell him and the surprise and awe that bloomed on Liu Qingge’s face was like a kiss to his heart. “But I think the morphine made you forget.”

“We are?” Liu Qingge asked in a small voice, his lovely face open and beguiled and boyish. Shen Yuan giggled again and nodded, making the man look even more awed. “Are you sure? You said yes?”

“Oh, I said yes, and I still say yes,” Shen Yuan assured, a blush rising on his own cheeks to be so forward. He squeezed Liu Qingge’s hand. “And as your boyfriend, I have the right to order you to get better, and soon.”

He wasn’t sure Liu Qingge was still hearing him, his eyes drooping as the medication worked its magic over him again. “He said yes,” he breathed, like he couldn’t believe it, like it was a wonder of the earth, and of the universe, and the greatest happiness of his life. His smile was small, but still a smile, and Shen Yuan was seized with a powerful clench of love for him that for a moment he was taken aback. Love? Had he come that far?

By the way his heart danced in his chest, it was a solid maybe, and when Liu Qingge drifted back off asleep, Shen Yuan made a promise to himself that he’d make sure Liu Qingge knew it too before the morphine made him forget again.

Chapter Text

In the end, Liu Qingge’s hospital stay had only lasted four days, but for Shen Yuan, it’d felt like a small eternity. Almost every other hour some cop or another would come into the room to drill Liu Qingge with questions, all while the tv in the corner of the room showed footage of what had become a massive overhaul of an underground gang. Liu Qingge, Shen Yuan learned, was one of many informants the police had used and it hadn’t stopped at just Liu Qingge’s fighting arena.

By day three, two other arenas plus four shipments of drugs had been uncovered and the gang bosses rounded up like cattle to slaughter. Shen Yuan found he didn’t care too much about what was quickly becoming the biggest drug heist in Beijing history, given it had landed Liu Qingge in a hospital bed. The only thing that mattered to him with the whole nonsense was that Liu Qingge would not have to serve as witness. His role was over and that meant he was free and Shen Yuan was determined to remind each and every hotshot detective of it that Liu Qingge no longer owed them anything.

The moment Liu Qingge was able to be discharged, Shen Yuan got him out of there. He didn’t let go of his hand through the whole bus ride and was relieved of every block they put between themselves and that horrible sterile place. The bright lights had made Liu Qingge appear so small and pale in that bed. Proper sunlight had his color back, the deepness of his eyes. He didn’t say so, but Shen Yuan had a distinct feeling he was just as relieved to be out of the hospital as Shen Yuan was. When he wasn’t staring out the window, just soaking up sunlight, his face was buried in Shen Yuan’s neck, breathing slightly shaky, but still steady and even. Shen Yuan preened at the feeling, glad he could give Liu Qingge that comfort.

Still, nothing compared to being home again. On top of bruises and scrapes from a physical beating, Liu Qingge’s arm had gotten a bullet hole through it. The bandages had been changed so often Shen Yuan felt like he could dress the wound now with his eyes closed, and was glad to see no blood spot had soaked through the top layer of gauze. 

“Bed, or couch?” Shen Yuan asked, his fingers still itching to grab his first aid kit and redo everything just so he would know for a fact it was clean and healing, but changing the bandages left an ache in Liu Qingge’s arm, so he forced himself to refocus on how else he could help. 

“Bed, the medicine is kicking in again,” Liu Qingge murmured, and indeed, his eyes were starting to droop. Shen Yuan smiled and held him steady as he tripped out of his shoes, then led him down the hall to his own bedroom. Even with painkillers in his system, Liu Qingge immediately caught on. His blush was quick.

“A-a-Yuan, I meant -”

“My bed is just as good as your bed,” Shen Yuan cut across, no nonsense, and opened the door before more protests could happen. He wasn’t the neatest person in the world, but thankfully his room wasn’t too chaotic as he all but pushed Liu Qingge onto his mattress. “And I have an attached bathroom. It’ll be easier for you.”

The logic didn’t make Liu Qingge’s blush fade, though in all fairness, Shen Yuan was tucking him into the blankets like a little kid. The idea made him grin. “Comfy?”

Liu Qingge once more looked small, embarrassed and bashful as he peeked up at him. “I… yes?”

For some reason, seeing that shyness was the biggest relief he’d felt so far. The idea that even with a traumatic event behind him, Liu Qingge could still be his adorably awkward self around Shen Yuan was a balm to his heart. As he pulled off his shirt and socks, he giggled at the sputtering noises Liu Qingge was making, and when he started to tuck into the bed as well, he felt such a joy to see Liu Qingge’s shy panic his eyes stung with moisture.

He didn’t cry though. He was too busy grinning like the gremlin his brother always said he was as he wrapped his arm around the other. “You’re right, it is comfy in here,” he said, smug and content, and pressed a slow kiss to Liu QIngge’s parted lips to kiss away the pout and protest. It took a moment, but then the other seemed to melt against him, letting him do as he wanted. Shen Yuan’s heart swelled with such affection he felt it was going to burst.

“Welcome home,” Shen Yuan murmured against his mouth and wiggled in as close as he dared. Liu Qingge was warm and alive and right there. He was kissing him again like there were magnets pulling them together, unable to resist.

Thankfully, Liu Qingge seemed just as drawn in. He turned onto his side to pull Shen Yuan in, uncaring of his wounds, and kissed away Shen Yuan’s soft sound of alarm to show it was fine. The thought had Shen Yuan shivering. He really was fine. He was alive. He was here. Home.

Eventually, he knew they had to talk about this. Liu Qingge’s responsibility to the gang and to the police was over, and that was freedom Liu Qingge may struggle with. He needed to heal, and to figure out a new future. He needed to call his sister and find his courage to actually see her, as well as take back control of his life.

Shen Yuan didn’t know how to help, only that he’d do his best, and that needed to be said as well, that Liu Qingge didn’t need to rush to find a job to pay rent, that he was willing to wait, that he was all in and happily so. That this little something he’d begun to cultivate with Liu Qingge was something worth fighting for, and that he had every intention of doing so. That he wasn’t sure he was fully in love, but he really wanted to be. He wanted Liu Qingge in his life, his home and his heart, and he was excited to see where they would go.

But now? Lost in the kisses and the haze of relief, only one thing mattered. Everything had its time and it would come, but in this moment all he cared about was the warm spot Liu Qingge was making in his bed, his hands cupping Shen Yuan’s sides, his lips trembling with each kiss.

“Welcome home,” Shen Yuan breathed into the space between them, feeling raw and tender in the way Liu Qingge looked at him like he was a wonder, someone special, someone wanted.

Liu Qingge’s breath shuddered. “I’m home,” he said, a whisper barely there. A hope. “I’m home.”