Chapter Text
"You sure you'll be fine? I don't like that old guy," Venti grumbled.
"I'll be okay. I'm used to weird old men. Besides, he could be valuable. We can't miss this kill."
Venti pouted. "Alright. Just don't come back to me half-dead. You're more useful to me alive than dead."
Avery laughed. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."
Hu Tao is throwing donuts at people again. Xiao watched her chuck a donut at Xingqiu, and unfortunately, the donut lands on Xingqiu's notes. Hu Tao dashes away as Xingqiu slowly gets up and runs after her.
Xiao slowly eats away at his chicken tenders, savoring every bite. Unfortunately, Childe, the resident shitbag of the department, runs over and plops his ass right next to Xiao.
"Hiya, little Xiao!" Childe grins, the little shit. Xiao knows he only acts like this because he's close with Zhongli, the chief. What a fucker.
Xiao nods in silent acknowledgement. Childe steals one of his chicken tenders. All Xiao wants to do right now is to growl and hiss at him, and maybe smack that stupid little grin off his face. Maybe he should ask Zhongli to fire him. But unfortunately, this shithead is actually quite smart, and has won a few awards. So no chance of that. Maybe Xiao could frame him for a murder...
"Anyways, I didn't come just to bother you, however much I'd like to," Childe said.
Xiao raised his eyebrows. Really? He mouthed.
"Yeah, really!" Childe grinned. "Zhongli's got a new case for you."
Xiao narrowed his eyes at Childe, who waved his hand dismissively.
"Yes, yes, I know, how do you know if this is one of my pranks?" Childe smiled slyly. "Things is, you can't. You just have to trust me. After all, Zhongli wouldn't want you to miss a case, right?"
This bitch. Xiao sighed in defeat and waved his hand. He'll do it.
"Great!" Childe flashed him that stupid grin again. "See you!"
Within a minute, Childe was now on the opposite side of the cafeteria, helping Hu Tao chuck hotdogs at people. Xiao sighed and stared pitifully at his last chicken tender, which was now lying soggy in a puddle of oil. He had wanted to eat the one Childe had stole.
-
"Your newest target is the Dei twins."
Xiao nearly spat out his drink.
Zhongli nodded as he pulled out a bulky folder from underneath a stack of papers. "I know. Yes, I am talking about the Dei twins. It may seem difficult, but you are the best detective we have here. And we really can't risk any more murders here in Liyue anymore."
I thought they were in Mondstadt? Xiao scribbled on a piece of paper.
Zhongli read the note upside down despite Xiao's awful handwriting. "They were, but they seemed to have migrated to Liyue too. Two murders by their doing has been found recently. The Qixing is pleading with us to do something... we're not sure if they're going to stay for long. This is our chance to stop them once and for all."
Xiao stared as Zhongli carefully peeled open the tape that bound the giant folder. The moment the tape was loose, the folder exploded, blank papers flying everywhere.
"Ah, must be one of Hu Tao's pranks," Zhongli said nonchalantly. Ignoring the papers that now covered his desk and floor, Zhongli took out a paper with two mugshots on it.
It's a picture of two boys, couldn't be that old. 21? 22? Both of them look almost identical with a few minor differences, with the same twin braids that frame their face, dark windswept hair, and wide eyes.
The one on the left looks like he just got blown in the face with a blowdryer. He has a wide smile, (pretty) green and blue eyes, and his braids are dyed aqua.
The one on the right has less messier hair and a more mature expression. He has blue eyes that seem to reflect the sky, and his braids aren't dyed. You could mistake these two as innocent high school kids.
Seeing Xiao's raised eyebrow, Zhongli clears his throat. "Yes, I have not mistaken two high school kids for two serial killers that have more than twenty victims. Their looks are one of their disguises. These photos are from another police department in Mondstadt-- they've been arrested once, for I believe, their first murder. This is how we got most of their information. They escaped not twenty days later. They are much more skilled than the average criminal, for sure."
Are you sure about sending me? Xiao wrote on the paper.
Zhongli gave the paper to Xiao. "Yes. Although you may not be the most experienced or the most trained in this department, you have the most brains around here, other than Albedo. I would've sent him as he's been in this department longer, but he is currently away on a mission in Dragonspine, and I can't just send him back again. And Xiao... I also trust you."
Xiao blinked at Zhongli, and smirked. You trust me because I don't talk?
The ends of Zhongli's lips curled up. "Partly."
-
"Woah! Even experienced detectives don't often get these cases! How did you do it?"
Half of the department was crowded around Xiao that day in the lounge, watching him look through the papers in the bulky folder that Zhongli had given him. Xiao was mostly interested in the list of known victims of the Dei twins, but the chatter around him was getting annoying.
"That's one big boi file," Hu Tao said, sipping on her slushie. "How many pages is there?"
"Like, probably fifty," Childe snickered from nearby.
"You're lying! I know what fifty pages look like, and it's not pretty!"
Xingqiu voiced something that Xiao has always wanted to ask. "How did you two even become detectives with your squirrel brains? And you even got into the Liyue branch."
Childe snorted. "I wanted to get to the Mondstadt branch, but unfortunately your chief was too good-looking to pass up..."
Hu Tao stuck out her tongue. "You're lying again. You and Albedo were moved to the Liyue branch from Mondstadt."
Childe grimaced. "Stop ruining my jokes! They were so good!"
"Alright, alright, break it up here," someone said. Yanfei and Chongyun have appeared at the table. Chongyun was eating a popsicle. "Xiao's doing important work. Can't you see?"
Childe rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Work for the imperial state, I suppose. I'm gonna go get a smoothie. Hu Tao, wanna come?"
"I already have my slushie, but hmm... wait! Smoothie plus slushie! Oooh, that sounds fun! But you have to pay."
Hu Tao bounced out of the room, with Childe following her. Slowly, the crowd disappeared.
Appreciating the silence, Xiao gave a thumbs up to Yanfei from across the room. She grinned back. Xiao then returned to the folder.
Victim #12... these people were all reduced to a number on a sheet of paper. How pathetic.
Sex: Male... Age: 36... Cause of death: fatal neck trauma... Family/Relations: Lilith (sister)...
Victim #13... Sex: Male... Age: 24... Cause of death: blunt trauma to head... Family/Relations: Linda (sister), Carl (nephew), Daniel (father)...
Victim #15... Sex: Male... Age: 56... Cause of death: fatal neck trauma... Family/Relations: Lee (wife)
All of these victims are men, and are roughly middle-aged with a few exceptions. There was one 18-year-old boy in there and one 87-year-old man. No minors.
Nobody knows which twin killed which person. They both leave a kiss mark on all of their victims. Besides, they look way too similar to tell who is who without getting a good look at them. They could be disguised even further now; that picture of them was from several years ago, before Xiao even joined the department.
Overall, their favorite way of killing seems to be injuring the neck. Xiao made a mental note.
Xiao slipped the page back into the folder, and pulled out one of the twins' files.
He paused. It's the twin with the wide smile and dyed hair. He's still smiling even during a mugshot... they're both insane, probably.
Name: Venti Dei
Age: 23
Xiao raised his eyebrows at the age. 23? That's... only a year older than Xiao. And since their first kill was four years ago, that would mean... they were only nineteen when they first started killing.
Date of birth: 6/16/20XX
Place of birth: Mondstadt
Place of residency: X
Sex: Male
Family/relations: Avery Dei (brother, alive), Abigail Dei (mother, deceased), Patrick Dei (father, deceased)
Last updated 7/11/20XX, 4 years ago
The next page is his criminal record. There was only one instance on it-- he had been in police custody for 21 days in Mondstadt Regional Station before they escaped.
There are details on the arrest... they had been waiting for a trial that got delayed for several days. They had been found near the scene of a crime, the murder of a 27-year-old man. Avery had been unable to clean the blood off his clothes in time, rousing suspicions and leading to their arrest.
Xiao switched over to the other twin, Avery.
Name: Avery Dei
Age: 23
Date of birth: 6/16/20XX
Place of birth: Mondstadt
Place of residency: X
Sex: Male
Family/relations: Venti Dei (brother, alive), Abigail Dei (mother, deceased), Patrick Dei (father, deceased)
Last updated 7/12/20XX, 4 years ago
The info was all outdated, as the last time they were officially seen was 4 years ago. The only thing that Xiao could see that would change though, is their criminal record and their place of residency. Both of their parents were dead, but there was no page about their parents or even their cause of death. Xiao made a note to ask Zhongli about it later, as he slowly put the papers back in the pile. He'll look at the evidence later.
Avery hates it when someone touches him. It makes his skin crawl.
The man is writhing on the floor like some slimy alien snail. Disgusting.
Men truly are disgusting. Avery kicks him in the shins. He screams.
Avery tsks, and rips a section off his floral dress. He shoves it into the man's mouth. The man is too busy kicking and wriggling to take it out of his mouth.
The rope is just about thick enough for someone to be unable to tear it apart. Avery hums as he ties it around the man's neck, making sure it's nice and sturdy.
Disgusting people like this deserve a slow and painful death.
The man had stopped making those wretched noises, and his face was slowly turning blue, the saliva seeping down his mouth. Avery stands up to admire his work.
The man reaches out his hand.
He grabs Avery's leg.
His stubby fingers brushed against his thigh.
Avery stepped straight onto his arm, hard enough to hear a crack.
"How dare you," Avery hissed, staring down at the man with his coldest expression yet. "You think you haven't caused enough damage, huh? Touching people without their permission... despicable."
He highlighted his sentence by stepping right onto the man's chest. Another crack. There goes the ribs.
If the man wasn't already suffocating, he would've screamed. Blood along with drool was now dribbling down his face. Avery smirked in satisfaction.
People like this... they deserve a nice little treat. Perhaps a longer kiss than usual. That'll do.
"Now..." Avery said softly. "Let's move on to the main course, shall we?"
Xiao grimaces as the investigation team begins to tape off the area. The man is hanging from the ceiling, his neck in an unnatural position. All of his limbs are in weird positions, in fact. They seem to be broken. A trail of blood is dripping from his mouth.
One single lipstick-coated kiss on the man's face is the only evidence of the killer.
"Yikes," Xingqiu shudders as he steps into the room. "Must've been a painful way to go."
"You don't say," Hu Tao sticks out her tongue as she finishes taping off the place. "They're getting really creative with their kills, huh?
"I'll remember this one all my life," Xingqiu sighs. "And believe me, I've seen a lot of gruesome murders."
"Xingqiu, I'm part of the investigation team, bold of you to assume you have it worse than me," Hu Tao shudders. "One time we had to investigate this dude's butt. Not fun."
"Hey, Xiao, what do you have there?" Xingqiu asks.
Xiao had wandered over to the bed, and noticed a slightly damp piece of fabric. It's white with floral patterns, and looked like it was ripped from something. It could be from blankets or clothing, and as there wasn't anything in the room that looked like it, Xiao suspected it was from clothing.
"Ooh... you found something!" Hu Tao walks carefully over, making sure not to disturb anything in the scene.
"Could be useful," Yanfei says, rubbing her chin. "Here. Sterile bag."
Hu Tao put on gloves before dropping the fabric into the bag. Who know what kind of disease is on the fabric.
Xiao looked out the window. A dead tree was swaying in the wind.
Vaguely, he processed the smell of smoke in the room. It wasn't until Yanfei called out that there was a fire in the bathroom that they all ran out of the house.
-
The house is burning. The fire department is coming, but not quickly enough. Any evidence left behind would be burned away, including the body.
"Dang..." Hu Tao said, looking at the house. "Lucky we got that fabric, huh?"
"Smart of them," Xingqiu said. "But... how did they set it on fire this delayed? They can't be close to the house..."
"That's the least of our concerns right now," Yanfei sighed. "Let's get back to the department. Chief is waiting."
"Avery!" Venti rushed up to his brother. There was a large bruise on his face. "What happened? What did he do to you?"
Avery smiled sheepishly as he tried to cover up the bruise with his hair. "It's nothing. He just struggled a bit hard."
"Hold on, I'll get you an ice pack," Venti said, hurrying to the kitchen. "Geez, I knew something would go wrong. You're not going solo on anything from now on, alright?"
Avery took the ice pack from his brother. "Thanks."
They sat down on the kitchen table. Venti cast a worried glance at his brother. "Avery, he didn't touch you or do anything bad, did he? I saw the newspaper... every limb broken? Doesn't sound like you."
Avery only smiled slightly. Venti gasped.
"That bitch! I'm never letting you go do anything like that again!"
"Venti... really... it's fine."
Venti sighed. "You're the manipulator, and I'm the killer. That's not gonna change anymore, alright?"
"Alright."
"Grammarly can help you--"
"TRY OUT OUR BRAND NEW PEPPERONI SPECIAL AT--"
"Change your skin. Your body. Your--"
"This is gonna suck--"
Xiao flicked through the channels on TV, but everything seemed to just be ads. Hu Tao didn't seem to mind though and continued eating her popcorn.
"Xiao, don't you have Netflix?" Hu Tao said, chewing on her popcorn.
Xiao shook his head. Hu Tao stared at him.
"Wh- you don't?! What the heck do you even do in your spare time?"
Xiao raised his eyebrows and pointed to his wall of medals that he had gotten for his detective antics. Hu Tao sighed.
"Gods, you're just like Albedo... both of you are gonna work yourselves to death one day. But I'm gonna get you a Netflix account no matter what today!"
Xiao let Hu Tao take the remote and faintly registered her words about Netflix and movies and modern entertainment.
His eyes traveled back to the folder on his lap, and he slowly got out the two mugshots.
Then he realized something.
Why the fuck are these twins so pretty?