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Luz isn’t exactly sure what wakes her up at first.
But then again, she hasn’t been exactly sleeping either. She kept needing to toss and turn and it’s so hot in her room and she kept sweating in her already drenched shirt for no reason whatsoever. It was mildly uncomfortable and annoying, yes, but Luz didn't realize what the real problem was until finally she sat up abruptly in the dark.
Immediately, saliva pools in her mouth, tasting like nauseating metal. She frowns, not knowing what was happening at first until she feels the tug coming deep from her stomach, and gags into her palm. Oh.
Oh, no. No, no no. Luz scrambles to get up on her feet, eyes wide, a palm cupping the bitter slime that spilled out of the corner of her mouth. She’s careful enough not to wake up the other residents of the house even while she blindly ran through the pitch dark corridors to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before she’s spilling her guts into the porcelain bowl, her hands gripping on the edges so tightly that her knuckles turns white.
No, no no… her contents clawed up her throat and she violently gags on air, her body screaming to get it out out out while Luz begs her body to let her breathe. It burns her throat and nostrils and the splattering sound her contents makes when it hits the bowl only makes her gag even harder, sending her head throbbing.
In the frenzy of it all, she feels like she could hear her mother’s voice comforting her if she could just reach for it hard enough. But then her head hits the cold, hard bathroom floor as she collapses from the sheer exhaustion, and the little bit of comfort that she’s had vanishes.
She just wants her mother here. Her hands gently running against her scalp and through her hair, her voice softly shushing comforting nothings into the shell of her ear. But now she’s gone, so far away from her, and Luz doesn’t even know if she’ll ever be able to see her again. She’s gone, gone, gone -
And right now, Luz nearly wishes she was, too.
The second round was the same, hitting fast and sudden, sending her scrambling to sit up and expel everything out once again. The fact that she’s been sleeping on the cold bathroom floor doesn’t help either - her whole body is sore and numb, and now it’s too cold instead of hot and Luz couldn’t even decide which was worse.
There’s an ache in her heart that’s asking, begging for her mother. But she’s so far away, why is she so far away from her? Why did she had to be so stupid? She’s stuck here, she’s stuck in this dangerous, horrible place where she can’t even eat without having to puke her guts out and it hurts -
Her mother’s voice is back in her head, and Luz squeezes her eyes shut to make them go away. She is not losing her mind, not now.
“Hey, whoa - ! What.... oh, Luz,” her mother says anyway, clicking her tongue in sympathy, her words breathy and hitched as if she had to choke her them out. “Okay, you're alright, 's alright. I’ve got you.”
“Go away,” Luz tries to say, but what comes out of her was a muffled groan and more puke. It feels pathetic, but it’s all that she could do - it feels like she’s forcefully taken over, out of control of her own body, and she’d do anything to be able to crawl out of her skin rather than endure this.
“Shit, kid. You’re having it really bad, huh?” Her mother’s voice was dripping with sympathy, and Luz wants to tell her to not worry about her and I’m sorry for waking you up and bothering you, please go back to bed, I’ll be fine -
Wait.
Her mother never curses. Not in front of her, anyway, and never in English...
What...? Her head’s spinning again and she’s gagging so hard that her back arches, but then she feels a cold hand reaching under her sleep shirt and rubbing circles on her back and it couldn’t be real. Confused alarms went off in her head - she tried to turn her head to see who it was, but the gagging didn't stop and there’s nothing she could do but to comply and ride it off.
“It’s okay, Luz,” the voice that is absolutely not her mother says, clearer now. “It’s just me. You’re alright.”
She is absolutely not alright. Nothing is coming up anymore, just empty air, and it’s even worse because her body isn’t stopping and she feels like a dry towel being wrung out, her insides being twisted to get everything out even when there’s nothing left.
“You’re empty, kid,” the voice tells her, gently combing her hair out of the way. “It’s okay. Deep breaths. You’ll be alright.”
She would, if her head’s not throbbing with each breath she takes. A sturdy arm wraps around her chest and pulls her back, and Luz reluctantly lets go of the porcelain rim - she’s too weak to fight it off, anyway. Her head meets a warm lap instead of the cold, hard floor, a hand still rubbing circles against her back. It was only when the throbbing ceased enough to let her see properly that Luz realized who the person was. No.
She scrambles up - or at least tries to, only if her arms didn’t feel like they had been replaced with jelly, murmuring jumbled up apologies.
“No, c’mon, none of that,” the voice - who turns out to be Eda the fucking Owl Lady - shakes her head, gently pushing her shoulders to lay back down. “You’ve been out here for a bit?”
Luz reluctantly nods.
“And I thought you agreed about us not keeping dangerous secrets?” Eda’s voice is calm but firm, and she could feel the guilt gnawing in her chest.
“S’rry. I just didn’ wanna bother you so late.”
“You know you’re not a bother.”
“I’m just a little sick, that’s all.”
“You’re literally puking your guts out, kid,” the woman shakes her head again, but then smiles softly. “Ate anything weird?”
“Everything here is weird,” Luz murmurs, earning a slight laugh from the other woman. “I didn't... didn' know.”
“Let’s just stick to griffin eggs for now, yeah?”
She nods to that, slightly averting her gaze so that it doesn’t quite look at the other woman’s eyes when she says, “sorry for being a burden.”
“Kid,” Eda says slowly, cupping her cheek, “Hey. Look at me. You know what a burden is? A burden is something you take and bear unwillingly. But you? On purpose, I’m going to take care of you and love you. On purpose . You hear me?”
Luz stares at her for a long moment before nodding hesitantly. She wants to tell her “On purpose I’m going to love you too,” but she doesn’t. She has a feeling the woman already knows, anyway.
“Good,” Eda nods, smiling at her, a hand reaching to ruffle her sweaty hair. “Get that into your head.” The ruffles turned into strokes, against her scalp and through her hair, and there’s an aching realization in her chest that tugs at her and makes her eyes water.
“...kid?”
“Sorry,” she whispers, quickly wiping away the tears that escaped. “I’m just… I miss my mom.”
“Oh, Luz ,” Eda sighs softly, pulling her closer to her chest. “I’m sorry. I know you do.”
Silence. Her hand kept running through her hair, fingers smoothing out her stubborn locks, and Luz wondered how Eda had known that it was what her mother used to do to her. But then again, maybe she doesn’t - maybe it’s just a wild coincidence, no matter how much it felt like the woman had known her all her life.
“Hey, you know what? In the meantime, I’ll be your mom and order you around, how about that?” She jokes, but Luz knows that a hint of it sounded more serious than she’s trying to make it out to be. “Sounds good to you?”
Luz sniffles, but smiles back at her. “Yeah.”
“Good, because you don't have a choice.”
She laughs a little at that. Even if I do, she thinks, I'm still going to choose you anyway.
Eda presses her nose against her head, and Luz leans into her as if the woman had always been her mother no matter if she realizes it or not.