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Margaret Winthrop.
That was the name written on Phillip’s right wrist.
It was one of the few things about their son that Phillip’s parents were pleased with. Her family was wealthy and well respected among the social elite of New York. As far as they were concerned, it was a perfect match. Phillip hoped it would be so.
They were finally allowed to meet when they were both 16 years old. They were left alone to get acquainted.
Phillip had always heard that when you meet your soulmate, you would feel sparks and fireworks and your whole world would change.
He didn’t feel any of that.
But still, Margaret seemed nice and conversation with her was easy. They spoke for hours, about everything from their studies to hobbies to stories from childhood.
Before she had to leave, Margaret looked around as if to make sure there was truly no one else there.
“Is this how I’m supposed to feel?” Margaret asked in a hushed voice. “You seem like a wonderful friend and you’re certainly attractive, but I’ve always heard that meeting your soulmate was supposed to feel...more dramatic, I suppose.”
“I don’t know,” he whispered back. “I feel the same way about you, but...meeting you wasn’t life changing like they said it would be.”
“Maybe they were just exaggerations?” she proposed. “Either way, it was nice to meet you Phillip.”
“Likewise, Margaret.”
They were still too young to start a life together, but they met many more times over the next couple of years. Neither of them felt the spark of romance they were supposed to, but they came to be great friends.
Both of Anne’s wrists were bare. She had no name on them, and so she had no soulmate.
Her mother had always said that it meant even the stars couldn’t tell her what to be. That she could be anything, do anything, and make a life with whoever she chose.
It didn’t stop Anne from feeling different, like she was missing out on something that most people took for granted. But she learned to live with it, learned to ignore the pitying looks people gave her, the concerned comments they thought she couldn’t hear.
She learned to fly, and her mother’s words had never felt more true than when she was in the air and it seemed like she could reach out and touch the stars.
When Margaret and Phillip were twenty, their meetings had grown more frequent, and their families had begun to plan for their wedding.
Then Margaret told him that she was leaving.
Her parents didn’t know. She wanted to study to become a nurse. ‘It suits her well,’ Phillip thought. Her family would never allow it. But she had a sympathetic friend who would help her steal away in the night.
“I didn’t want to leave without telling you, but I ask that you keep this to yourself,” she pleaded.
“Of course,” Phillip replied softly. “Will you come back someday?”
“I...I don’t know,” she said. A spark came across her face as an idea struck her. “Come with me.”
“What?”
“Come with me,” she repeated. “You’ve said it yourself, this life is suffocating. Come to Maryland with me, and we can start a new life.”
“Margaret,” he started, “I can’t. I think I’m finally on to something with my writing, I can’t just leave...”
“I understand,” she said with a soft smile. “I know the stars say we were meant to be together, but I can’t stay here and be what I’m supposed to. You’re my best friend, you know that, but I can’t stay here and be your wife.”
“I understand, too,” he assured his friend.
But you’ll write?” she asked hopefully.
“Without a doubt,” Phillip replied. “As long as you’ll write back.” She nodded, blinking back tears.
“If you ever change your mind, you know where I’ll be.”
They hugged each other tightly, knowing that it would be a long time before they would see each other again. If they ever would.
Nine days later, Margaret Winthrop went missing. Phillip played distraught, and discreetly sent a letter a few weeks later.
Phillip kept his promise, and Margaret kept hers. They wrote regularly, and remained each other’s confidants and supports. They kept each other up to date about their lives, and Phillip sometimes sent drafts of his plays to her. Not the ones that he actually produced, that high society enjoyed, but the type he truly wanted to write.
“I have found my calling here,” she wrote in one of her letters about 2 years after she left. “I won’t be coming back...”
He had considered her offer to come join her. Several times, in fact. But there was always something holding him back. Not to mention the fact that if he ran to her, people would still expect them to be together. And while he loved her as a friend, that wasn’t what either of them wanted.
Margaret’s letters became much less frequent after the war broke out, but she never stopped writing. Neither did Phillip, and they remained close friends despite the distance between them.
When P.T. Barnum approached Phillip after the opening of another one of his ‘virtuous’ plays, he couldn’t resist anymore. It was like P.T. had said, he had a flair for show business. And now he had an opportunity to leave his suffocating world behind, like Margaret had done, for ‘The Greatest Show’.
And then he met Anne Wheeler, and it felt like the Earth had stopped spinning. The way he felt for her was unlike anything he had felt before. This was what he should feel about Margaret, he knew.
That night, he sent a letter pouring out his soul to Margaret. He wrote about how he had finally gotten the courage to leave his old life behind and joined the circus. And he wrote about his feelings for Anne.
Her reply was short, but Phillip was overwhelmed with emotion when he read it.
“Dear Phillip,
I am happy for you, truly. This circus sounds like a wonderful show, and I hope you have found your place there as I have found mine here as a nurse. Anne sounds like a wonderful woman, and I know it will be difficult, but I hope the two of you can be happy together. Our lives may not have taken the path that fate intended, but I have no regrets.
Your friend always,
Margaret”
Phillip broke into a wide grin as relief and happiness washed over him. Now he just had to convince Anne that this could work.
Phillip had surprised Anne. She knew P.T. Barnum had a knack for finding the unconventional, but she hadn’t been convinced when he first brought this rich white boy to the circus for the first time.
But while Phillip clearly came from a life of privilege, he took their about it teasing in stride. He joked and laughed along with them. He worked hard to help keep the circus running, doings bits of everything from paperwork to setup to helping everyone rehearse their acts (he wasn’t half bad on the ropes, actually). He triple checked all of the equipment before every show to make sure all of the performers would be safe. Hell, he offered to turn down an invitation the queen of England if it wasn’t extended to them all.
Anne felt herself falling for him. With the way he looked at her and talked to her, it was clear he felt something for her too.
If only his wrist didn’t say ‘Margaret Winthrop.’
Phillip had finally worked up the courage to bring the subject up to Anne. He was sure the whole circus could already see he was smitten, with the way he acted around her. But now they were alone after a rehearsal, and Phillip was ready.
“Anne, may I ask you a rather personal question?” Phillip asked.
“I suppose you may,” she responded with a small smirk, “but I reserve the right not to answer if I don’t like it.”
“You...don’t have a soulmate, correct?” Anne nodded. Her bare arms were obvious in her costume and the clothes she normally practiced in. Phillip seemed nervous as he continued. “Are you still...interested in that type of relationship?”
Anne hesitated before answering with a question of her own. ‘He has a soulmate,’ she reminded herself. It was best not to get her hopes up.
“Phillip, why are you asking me this?”
“I want you, Anne,” Phillip said, adrenaline rushing through his veins. “If you’ll have me.”
“What about Margaret Winthrop?” Anne asked pointedly. “What happens when you meet her? I’m not going to be some passing flight of fancy.”
“I’ve met her already,” Phillip stated quietly. “And she is a good friend, but nothing else. We have no intention of being together.” Anne looked surprised at his reply.
“Why not?”
Phillip sighed softly.
“When Margaret and I first met, I felt didn’t feel anything special. Nothing like what people say happens when you meet your soulmate. Neither did she. We figured maybe it was just exaggeration, but even as time went on we never felt anything for each other but friendship.
“Honestly, I don’t think I would have gone against my family and the rest of high society on my own. We do get along quite well, and I would have been able to pretend to be a typical married couple in public and remain friends at home. But she didn’t want that life. She wanted to become a nurse, and her family would never allow it. A friend helped her disappear to Maryland where she could pursue her dream. I stayed in New York, I was just getting started with playwriting and I genuinely enjoyed it at that point.
“Then P.T. showed up and convinced me to join the circus and When I met you, I felt everything that people said would happen when I met my soulmate. Margaret and I have stayed in touch and we remain friends, but we’ve known for a long time that our lives would take very different paths and that we wouldn’t end up together. I swear to you, Anne, this is no passing fancy. I want to be with you, if you’ll have me.”
Anne was quiet for a moment after Phillip finished his explanation.
“It’s not going to be easy,” she said. “Not only are we not soulmates, but there’s a lot of people who don’t want to see a white man and a colored woman together.”
“I know, Anne,” Phillip stepped forward and took her hands. “We’ll have to rewrite the stars to be together. But it’ll be worth it. You’re worth it.”
Anne slid her hands out of his and wrapped them around his shoulders, pulling them close together.
“Okay,” she said softly.
Phillip smiled, and leaned in to press a soft kiss to her lips.
At Jenny Lind’s performance, Phillip took Anne’s hand. They were at the in the standing room, visible only to a few, but it still felt like a big step.
Among the few who could see them were Phillip’s parents. Phillip hadn’t realized they would be here, but when glanced up at the audience he saw them staring at Anne and himself, whispering to each other. He could feel the weight of their disapproval.
He tightened his grip on Anne’s hand, holding on like she was his lifeline, and met his father’s eyes defiantly. Anne smiled and squeezed tightly in return.
Phillip had a surprise for Anne.
He had to enlist the help of Constantine and swear him to secrecy, and his arm was still a bit sore. But it would be well worth it. He pulled her aside after they finished their rehearsal for the day, and asked her to follow him to the office he and P.T. shared.
“Now what’s this about, Phillip?” she asked once they had arrived and Phillip had locked the door behind them.
“Rewriting the stars,” he replied, rolling up his sleeve to reveal beautiful black letters spelling out ‘Anne Wheeler’ on his left wrist. “What do you think?”
“Oh, Phillip,” Anne said with tears starting to form in her eyes. She gently traced the lines of the ink with her fingers. “I love it. I love you.”
A few days later, Anne had a tattoo on her left wrist to match.