Chapter Text
Tsukishima Kei, best selling author, who critics say could weave a tale so potent that even the most emotionally detached would cry, was broken up with because he couldn’t use his words.
It was ridiculous. Ridiculous that despite his profession and his success he couldn’t verbalize when something was wrong with him or, after five good years together-- or, he thought they were good-- that he couldn’t string together the three most important words.
Kei could look at a blank page and fill it with words, tell a story and paint a beautiful picture about the realities of life but he couldn’t tell Shoyou that he loved him.
He wasn’t stupid. He knew that Shoyou was going to break up with him eventually over this, he knew exactly what he wanted and he knew all of his shortcomings. His last book had a character with a speech delay, he physically had trouble getting all the words he wanted to say out. Kei could easily remember the sad look Shoyou gave him when he read it.
The character wasn’t supposed to be him. In the book he was bursting with words he couldn’t say. Kei wasn’t like that. He wasn’t full of things that he wanted to tell Shoyou but couldn’t, there was no physical or mental barrier. At least, he didn’t think so.
He had been happy with their relationship. He knew that he loved Shoyou and he thought that he showed it and that Shoyou knew as well. He didn’t know why he had to say it as well. Shoyou said it all the time, and usually Kei kissed the words out of his mouth afterwards but occasionally he uttered ‘you too’ back.
Why wasn’t that enough?
But maybe Shoyou showed his love more than he did. Maybe it was unbalanced.
Shoyou read every one of his books, struggled through them as his dyslexia made the words swim across the page, but he got through all of them. And he kept his identity a secret, he wrote under KT because he didn’t want the attention, and was his sounding board when he needed to work out a tricky plot or if a string of dialog wasn’t sounding just right.
He was always there.
That wasn’t to say that Kei wasn’t always there as well.
He went to every single one of Shoyou’s games, no matter the city, because he wasn’t tied down to a single location. He made sure that Shoyou was always fed, enough food to take with him, enough when he got back, even if it meant waking up extra early. Hell, when Shoyou talked about going back to Brazil, Kei had no hesitation about going with him.
But just because--
Kei knocked on Tadashi’s door.
Tadashi gave him a concerned look for only a moment before it melted into something softer, “Shoyou broke up with you.”
“Is it that obvious?”
He held the door open, “Your eyes are red, if it wasn’t him you’d go to him,” he said kindly.
Kei took off his shoes and let himself into Tadashi’s kitchen, he knew exactly where he stashed the good sweets, “He did.” Tadashi didn’t stop him from rummaging through his cupboard and taking his expensive chocolate, he’d pay him back later, “He left.”
“He moved out?”
Kei nodded around a mouthful of chocolate, “Took all of his things. I don’t even know where he is.”
Tadashi opened the refrigerator and poured him some milk, “Have you asked?”
Kei was silent. He didn’t. He didn’t think that Shoyou would answer his calls or texts so he didn’t try.
“This is why he broke up with you, you know,” Tadashi said.
“I know.”
They stood there quietly until they heard the front door open and shut and Hitoka appeared before them, dressed up nicely in her work clothes, taking in the scene before her. Kei swallowed the last of what was most likely Hitoka’s chocolate.
She smiled sadly at him, “Shoyou broke up with you.”
Kei didn’t like that apparently everyone knew that it was going to happen but he nodded and she crossed the room to hug him.
“So what are you doing to win him back?” she asked, looking up at him with wide and hopeful eyes, “He loves you, you can’t just let him go!”
“Isn’t that the saying? If you love something let it go?” Kei mumbled. He wanted her to stop looking at him like that, it reminded him too much of Shoyou.
She smacked his chest lightly, “If you love someone, you should tell them,” she stressed that last part and Kei had to hide his flinch.
Kei sighed, “At this point I can’t just show up at his door and tell him that I love him, it has to be a grand gesture and I’m not good at those. It has to be--” he stopped and bit his lower lip, “I have an idea, I have to go.”