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"Swimming in my t-shirts
No matter the weather
Say what you mean
I want to be with you"
"Isn't that your t-shirt?" Taehyun asked when he saw the tallest of them was wearing a metal group's merchandise.
Yeonjun spared his glances off the said boy for a second to look at his friend, there was a little grin on his lips. "Yeah, it's mine." He answered shortly, turning his eyes to Soobin once more.
"If it was one of us, you would strangle us to death." A new voice joined them, flopping down next to Taehyun and hooking his arm over his shoulder. Beomgyu gave a chaste kiss to his lover, making him blush and punch him lightly on the stomach.
Yeonjun was used to their antics, he didn't need to look at their way to see what was happening.
"Hyung." Beomgyu said after rescuing himself from the youngest's fists. Yeonjun hummed, telling he was listening. "When are you going to confess?"
With that unexpected question, Yeonjun turned his face to look at his brother, a little scowl on his face. He never denied it, there was no use to try hiding it from his friends and his brother who could somehow read his mind despite everyone else. Also, it was so obvious that he had a soft spot for the bunny like boy.
You see, Yeonjun wasn't the best boy around. He had been to fights, even had to be bailed out once or twice. He was strong and he wouldn't hesitate to use his strength whenever someone pissed him off-or someone he cared about. Thus the younger's parents weren't very fond of him.
Everybody knew him and he knew everybody, but he only had four people he cared about. Even between them, it wasn't a lie that Soobin got a special treatment since their childhood.
"I won't." Yeonjun said, swinging his legs in the pool. Was it normal that his chest felt so tight? It wasn't like he was upset of being Soobin's friend. He just wanted to be with him, so what if it meant being just his friend. It was fine, he was fine.
"Seriously, hyung?" Taehyun and Beomgyu spoke at the same time, the older one could hear the disbelief on their voice. He lifted his head, sending a glare, though he knew it was useless.
"Why?" Taehyun asked, his big lips were half parted, a scowl was shown very visibly. "Hyung, it literally gives me pain to watch you like this." He added, there was a little protest in his voice mixed with worry.
Beomgyu chuckled, popping his head from behind his boyfriend's shoulder. "He thinks Soobin hyung is too good for him." He whispered just enough the other two boys to hear him. "Soobin hyung is the Flower Boy who everyone adores so much whereas he is the Bad One who everyone despises, right?"
Yeonjun didn't say something, just groaned as he glanced away. There wasn't any point to deny, his brother would always know. That brat... Yeonjun hated the fact that no matter how tall his walls were, Beomgyu could see right through them like they were transparent.
Taehyun was about to say something when he saw the other two boys were approaching them. He shut his mouth quickly as he smiled at them. Yeonjun was glad that at least they didn't tease him in front of Soobin.
"We should probably head out if we don't want to be late to the festival." Kai said when they arrived, looking at the lovebirds next to Yeonjun. Soobin sat down next to him as the youngers stood up, Yeonjun kept his eyes on the pool, ignoring the glances on him.
"Do not get carried away too much!" Soobin said to his friends. "And don't come home late." He warned, pointing a finger at them. Yeonjun smiled to himself, even though he was the oldest he liked how Soobin treated them like he was their mother, taking care of them. And maybe, just maybe, he thought himself as the father.
The other three hummed in agreement, a smile appeared on Soobin's lips. "Have fun!" He called out as they headed to exit. "You two, too!" Beomgyu yelled back, even though Yeonjun wasn't looking at them he could feel his brother's knowing look and grin on his face. Oh, how much he wanted to wipe it off of his face...
Once the three left, a comfortable silence fell between them. Yeonjun could feel the younger's shoulder that was touching his own, his soft t-shirt resting against his bare skin, he liked the sensation perhaps a little too much.
"Hyung." Soobin said with a low voice, Yeonjun hummed turning his eyes to him. Soobin gave him a dazzling smile, making his heart outburst with its' beauty. He reached out for the older's hand, taking it inside his larger palm. He tugged him into the water with a giggle.
"I see you in the water
Straps on your glasses
Say what you mean
I want to be with you"
Yeonjun's protection instincts were faster than his shorted brain, he held the taller one by his waist, pulling him closer and steadying both of them above the water.
"Soobin!" He scolded as the younger laughed, his cheerful voice filled the older's ears, erasing the little ire in him. He sighed in relief once he was convinced that Soobin was fine and, clearly, happy. He couldn't help the little smile forming on his own lips either.
Soobin had never learnt how to swim in his twenty-one years life, he wasn't fond of the water to do so. He always trusted the others to help him when they were in the water, especially Yeonjun who basically pretended like a flesh life buoy for him.
Soobin leaned on him, resting his head on the crook of his neck, his warm breath brushing the wet skin of the older. Yeonjun had to held his breath for a second, he gulped down the nervousness. It wasn't like he wasn't used to be close like this, just, it was getting harder to endure the closeness without making himself obvious. He was praying that the younger wouldn't hear his pounding heart.
"You didn't even take off your glasses, silly." Yeonjun whispered when he felt the frame of the younger's round glasses on his skin. He wafted them to the edge of the pool, it wasn't hard, the younger was like a feather in his arms although he was the taller one.
Soobin lifted his head from the older's neck, giggling. "Sorry." He said, however he didn't seem guilty. Yeonjun couldn't help but smile, he reached out to pull away the hairs that were covering the younger's eyes. Soobin watched him with his captivating eyes that was trapped behind his glasses that had water droplets, making those wolf like eyes hazy. Yeonjun felt his long fingers on his shoulder, caressing the soft skin.
Yeonjun looked away quickly, though he wanted to pull back since he didn't want younger to hear his panicked heart he couldn't. He didn't want Soobin to feel unsafe in water.
However, it was so unfair that he got so affected by these little touches where the younger didn't even seem to notice. Like when they were walking next to each other, sometimes their pinkies would brush to each other, sending sparks every inch of the older's body whereas Soobin would continue walking casually.
"Your glasses, Binnie." Yeonjun whispered, gulping down the nervousness. At least his voice was normal. He was glad to know that some of his walls were still there to help him.
Soobin's hands disappeared from his shoulders slowly, if Yeonjun looked at him he could see the drop in his smile. "Right." Soobin murmured as he took it off and put it on the ground carefully. His hands idled around on the marble ground, nervous.
Yeonjun watched his slim fingers as they lingered anxiously. He knew what made the younger tensed.
"Yeonjun hyung, are y—" Soobin started, his hand coming to his shoulder hesitantly. Yeonjun turned to him, already knowing what he was going to say. "No." He cut the younger off. "No, Binnie, I'm not mad at you." He added with a soft tone, he smiled as he comb away the younger's black hairs, even massaging his nape, he knew he liked it. "I was just worried, you know I don't want something to happen to you."
Soobin nodded as his smile returned to his heart-shaped lips, his anxiousness disappearing. His dimples showed, inviting Yeonjun to poke them. He didn't resist the urge.
It was these little two lack of tissue that Yeonjun couldn't confront the most.
It was the only flaw the younger had, these two little dimples. Yet they were the most graceful thing when they were Soobin's, the most precious person on the earth.
"I know my shit's weird
And I live in the suburbs
And it's almost unnatural
How lame I act around you"
Yeonjun watched the younger for a moment, the afternoon sun shined on him just perfectly. Making him look like he was dazzling, maybe he really was. Yeonjun couldn't choose anymore, the younger's beauty was so mesmerizing. Then he held him by his waist again, smiling foolishly. "You wanted to swim?" He asked, leaning back and pulling Soobin on him. He began swimming while the tall boy was wrapping his arms around his waist for support.
Soobin giggled, his sweet voice echoed right next to the older's ear. Yeonjun looked at him, seeing the little wrinkles around the younger's eyes that had become little thin lines. His white teeth showing behind his pink lips, his honey voice resonating again.
Yeonjun knew when he was dying he was going to hear this voice which was probably more beautiful than the angels'.
"You're the only one who lets me stay like this." Soobin said, looking deeply in the older's eyes under his taper eyes. Yeonjun ignored how his heart became faster and gave him a cocky smile. "Because I'm the strongest, chubs." He whispered, trying to wink but only managing to blink.
Soobin furrowed. "Then let me go if I'm heavy to carry." He said, turning away his head. Yeonjun laughed, tightening his grip around the younger, their chest pressed each other. Yeonjun wasn't sure if he should be grateful or mad that Soobin was wearing his t-shirt. He chased after the younger's eyes, finally catching them, he smiled softly. "Even if I'm about to die, I would never let you go, Soobin-ah." He whispered.
He couldn't be sure but he thought he saw a rosy shade spread through the younger's cheeks, maybe it was because of the hot sun.
"I know, hyungie." Soobin whispered, his eyes lingered on the older's face for a second longer but it was enough for Yeonjun to understand what he was looking at. His hands loosened without thinking and he lowered his head as his smile disappeared, trying to hide the wounds although it was useless. It had been two days and it wasn't enough time for bruises to heal.
He sighed, seeing his reflection on the pool he remembered once again why he was staying away from Soobin.
Soobin, the kind and loveable Soobin, didn't deserve such a rascal as him.
"Does it still hurt?" Soobin asked, his fingers landed on the older's cheek, brushing over a wound so lightly Yeonjun would've thought it was just the summer breeze if he didn't know his touch like his own name. He shook his head. "It doesn't." He said, keeping his head low. He was still afraid of lifting his head and look at the younger.
Soobin cupped his face this time, making him look up. Yeonjun couldn't be sure what the expression on his face meant. Soobin's thumb went to his eyebrow and settled right above a cut. "Don't lie." He said, examining the rest of his face, like if he looked close enough he could see all the wounds and scars from before.
Yeonjun smiled bitterly. "When did I lie to you, Binnie?" He asked, trying to meet the younger's eyes, he didn't want him to look at his wounds this attentively.
Soobin looked at him, a cute smile on his face. "Never." He answered, Yeonjun saw the little change in his smile.
"But?" He asked, squeezing the younger's waist to encourage him to keep going. He knew he wanted to say more.
Soobin looked at the wounds one more time, shorter. "It should hurt, shouldn't it?" He whispered.
Yeonjun smiled at him, bumping his forehead to the younger's lightly. "I know, but it's okay." He said, he couldn't say that he was used to the pain, he just couldn't voice it out.
The younger must've understood that he didn't want to speak about this anymore, he nodded as he gave Yeonjun a wide smile, making him smile as well.
"I can't take it
All I want's right in front of me
I can't fake this
Say what you mean
I want to be with you"
A wind blew and out of nowhere a flower landed on Soobin's raven hairs.
Yeonjun giggled, reaching out the purple petals to take them. "Pretty things find pretty things, huh?" He whispered, showing the flower to Soobin.
He thought the younger would smile or get shy with the compliment but to his surprise his eyes lingered on the petals while sulking. Yeonjun feared if he had pulled a wrong wire.
"Do you see me as the Flower Boy, too, hyung?" Soobin asked, looking up to meet eyes with the older. Yeonjun saw something in his dark brown eyes he couldn't name exactly but he knew he didn't like it even a bit.
He smiled assuringly, caressing the younger's tiny waist with his thumb. "It's just a label, Bin." He whispered, hoping it would ease him. "I know you are more than just being pretty."
Soobin looked at him, a scowl on his face. He put his hands on the older's shoulders, pulling him close to his chest. Yeonjun's breath hitched, his grip around the younger tightened instinctively. Now they were face to face, nose touching each other. Yeonjun could feel the younger's fresh breath on his cheekbones, he closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself. He couldn't lose control now.
Soobin's long fingers rambled on the older's skin, the stupid butterflies couldn't stop fluttering inside Yeonjun's stomach. How cliche...
"Hyung." Soobin whispered, his fingers finally stopping at his neck, playing with the black locks. Yeonjun hummed, not trusting his voice to speak. "Then why are you worry about yours this much?"
Yeonjun's eyes opened slowly, knowing exactly what he was talking about. They locked eyes, under the hot summer day and be surrended by the cool water Yeonjun was about to misunderstand the gleam in the younger's pretty eyes.
Soobin leaned in just a centimeter but that tiny distance was enough for Yeonjun to hope. It was enugh for him to think maybe, just maybe, Soobin might have feelings for him as well.
"Soobin-ah, it's different." Yeonjun whispered, his voice was husky. He remembered what the younger had asked and the label he had. Soobin deserved so much better than a bad boy like him. He deserved a kind person who was going to open doors for him in public, a clever person who was going to be a doctor, just like the younger. He deserved an affectionate person who was adored by other people, a person who didn't scare everybody around just with a look. Soobin's mother had said that clearly.
Soobin shook his head, his hands went up from the older's neck, caressing the side of his face. "It's not." He whispered. "Hyung, it's the same, it's nothing but a label."
Yeonjun sighed, closing his eyes and letting himself sink down the warm touch of the younger. "Hyung." Soobin whispered once again. "Please look at me."
Yeonjun felt the younger's thumb over his upper lip, brushig the skin lightly. Yeonjun opened his eyes so slowly, he was afraid of dreaming right now. Like when he opened his eyes Soobin would disappear from his arms.
"Hyungie." Soobin said again when they met eyes, his fingers were still on the older's face.
Yeonjun look at him in awe, it was so fascinating how he looked under the summer beams, like a dazzling angel with its' halo made of the sunrays.
"I know you better than anybody else, Yeonjun hyung." Soobin whispered, his eyes fell to the older's plump lip for a second. "I might not read your mind like Beomgyu but I know your heart better than him." His right hand slowly followed the path to the older's chest, landing right on his heart. "So stop running away from me."
"You shut my mouth
And you buckle my knees
My princess, please
You know it's all I want to do"
Yeonjun was about to lose his control. While the younger's large hand was on his chest and his warm breath was fanning over his face he tried so hard to not to surrender to the desire he had for a decade.
"Soobin-ah, you're worth so much better than me." He whispered, looking away. The knot in his throat felt so big that he wanted to cry, though he knew it was the fact that he had to accept it was so hard to think his adorable bunny boy with someone else.
Soobin held the side of his face, making him look at him again. "Don't say that." The younger spoke softly. "I'm no higher than you, hyung. I'm just a human too."
"Who doesn't deserve the one like m—"
Yeonjun felt the younger’s soft and sweet like cotton candy lips on his bruised ones. He never knew Soobin’s lips would taste this sweet.
Yeonjun's brain gave a short circuit, he didn't know what to do so his desire took over his actions.
The kiss was slow and gentle at first, like Yeonjun didn’t want to hurt Soobin. He slowly took in the flavor of the younger’s mouth, warm and luscious.
Then Soobin parted his lips, giving the permission to explore his mouth to the older.
Yeonjun was so desperate to deny, he slowly licked the younger’s lips, the flavor enveloping his senses. It was almost like tasting the fruit of Heaven, so sweet, so delicate.
Soobin’s arms tightened around the older’s neck, pulling him closer if it was possible. A little inappropriate sound escaped from his bunny like mouth, sending shivers down Yeonjun’s spine. He deepened the kiss without realizing.
It was addicting how Soobin kissed him back, his thin upper lip disappearing between his own plump lips and his soft tongue fighting for dominance with his. It was cute but tempting, Yeonjun wondered how he had lived until now without knowing the sensation.
”Hy-hyung…” Soobin whispered between their hot breaths that were blending together. Yeonjun stopped immediately, scared if he did something wrong. “Yes, Bin?” He asked, looking at the younger with worried eyes.
Soobin’s hand grabbed the older’s black locks, pulling so slightly that Yeonjun would’ve thought it was a butterfly fluttered between them.
He was about to pull back, thinking it was a sign for him to do so. But Soobin shook his head, tugging him closer once again. He leaned in for a kiss but Yeonjun stopped him, caressing his soft cheeks as he was examining the younger’s face. He knew something was wrong, he knew something was bothering the younger and he couldn't let go like this.
"Binnie, tell me what's wrong." Yeonjun whispered, catching the younger's eyes, they shined so brightly under the sun.
"Stop doing this." Soobin said, his voice cracked in the halfway. "Stop doing what, Bin?" Yeonjun asked, dumbfounded, worried. He didn't understand what he was talking about. What did he do wrong?
Soobin looked deeply in his eyes, almost Yeonjun thought he could see inside his mind. "Stop putting me first for everything." Soobin asnwered, his hand went to the older's chest, giving him light punches there. "And stop seeing yourself so low that you think you're not enough for me, hyung."
"But—"
Soobin smashed their lips once again, not letting him to speak.
And this time he had the dominance, not letting the older to pull away as he held their faces so close. He kissed the older without trying to be gentle, the kiss was messy and tough.
Yeonjun was strong, so strong that he could knock out a 80 kgs person with his one punch. But right now, he felt so weak under the power of Soobin. He felt so vulnerable under the strenght that Soobin had on him. He didn't complain though and somehow he liked the intimidation that the younger had.
"So I'll get over my head
'Cause darling you're the one
You know I want you
You know that you're the one"
Yeonjun held the younger's cheeks, his thumb blocked his lips in case there would be another kiss attack when he tried to speak. Soobin closed his eyes, he left few kisses to the older's finger that was on his heart-shaped lips. Yeonjun tried to even his breaths, his heart was beating so fast from the kiss earlier. This side of Soobin was so new he didn't know how to handle.
"Soobin." Yeonjun said, his other hand that was free went to the younger's raven hairs, combing away the few strands. He always wanted to be like this, do things friends usually wouldn’t do. But he knew they should’ve been just friends, nothing more.
He smiled when they met eyes, it was broken but it was a smile after all. "You know you're so precious to me and I can't do that to you, my Binnie." He whispered, his heart felt heavy in his chest.
Soobin opened his eyes, disblief was on display in the chocolate irises. He furrowed, taking away the older’s hand off his lips. "You can't do what? Let me be happy, with you?" He asked, voice getting angrier with each word. "We both love each other, you can't convince me otherwise, hyung!"
Yeonjun's heart skipped a beat with the sudden confession. It wasn't a lie that he loved the younger so much. But Soobin loving him? It had been sounded like a fever dream. Though it wasn't a dream Yeonjun knew they couldn't be together. There were so many obstacle in front of them, starting with the younger's family who didn't like Yeonjun's personality.
His face should've told on Soobin what was on his mind, the younger held him by his face a little harshly. "I don't care about what others say, you're not the bad person you think you are." He said, his voice was softer than his actions. "Hyung, you're the boy who I grew up with."
Yeonjun shook his head, closing his eyes but he let the younger's hand stay on his face. "We're not kids anymore." He whispered, it was getting harder to say what he had to despite he wanted to do exact opposite.
Soobin sighed, taking away his hands. Yeonjun opened his eyes quickly when he felt the younger pulled away from his arms. He watched while Soobin wafted to the edge and got out of the pool. He waited there, maybe for the older to come but Yeonjun couldn't find the courage to go after him.
"You know what, I thought you were brave!" Soobin yelled as he turned around and looked at the older with red eyes. "You're acting so tough, showing your teeth all the time but you're just a scraredy-cat who doesn't have guts to fight for your love!"
Yeonjun closed his eyes, maybe trying to escape from the harsh words that the younger was throwing or maybe he didn't want to see the tears in his pretty eyes.
Soobin huffed angrily. "Maybe I'm not worth to fight, huh hyung?" His voice was so far from being angry. It was hurt, broken, desperate.
Yeonjun squeezed his fists in the water, he had always tried to protect Soobin from the things could harm him in any way. But now, he was the reason why Soobin was hurting.
"Forget it." Soobin whispered and Yeonjun heard wet footsteps walking away.
"Give me a chance
To say what I mean
Please do the same
I want to be with you"
Yeonjun swam quickly and got out of the pool. He ran after the younger who was halfway through the front garden, not caring the wet floor and chance of falling. Soobin was right, he was just a scraredy-cat. He was so scared of what other people said that he gad forgotten this was about just him and Soobin.
"Soobin-ah!" He called out as he held the younger's forearm, turning him. It was time to stop being a coward.
Soobin looked at him with teary eyes, some droplets from the pool falling here and there. "What?" He asked with his shaky voice, his face red from crying. If only Yeonjun could punch himself real hard.
"Do you really want me to fight for you?" Yeonjun asked, looking deeply in the younger's eyes. He had to be sure.
The younger looked at him for a while, like trying to solve what was going on inside his mind. He furrowed and huffed then like he decided this was kind of joke. "What are you talking about, hyung?" He murmured, trying to take his arm back but Yeonjun didn't let him, he had held himself back for so long that he couldn't let go now.
"If you say yes right now I'll collect my guts to fight for my love, Soobin-ah." He said, looking determined. "I know I'm not those smart college students who have fancy things to give to you or those pussy whips who your parents will approve but I'll be your side no matter what. I know I'm hot-headed and I'll have bruises and wounds time to time but I'll never let anything happen to you." Yeonjun cupped the younger's face, leaning a little closer.
"If you really want me to fight for my love, for you, all you need to do is saying yes, Binnie. Just say yes and I won't run away from you anymore." He whispered.
Soobin looked at him, his lips trembling but his brown eyes were sparkling with glee. "You're not lying." The younger muttered with a soft voice. Yeonjun nodded, smiling. "I'd never lie to you." He added softly.
Soobin wrapped his arms around the shorter body but somehow Yeonjun felt like Soobin was the smaller one, like when they were ten years old kids, when he was still the taller one.
"Yes, hyungie." Soobin whispered, his warm breath brushed the older's neck. Butterflies started to flutter in Yeonjun's stomach once again. He smiled, his chest felt at ease for the first time in months.
Soobin pulled back just enough to look at the older with his birght chocolate eyes, there was a wide smile on his rosy lips, dimples were shown. Yeonjun could get used to look at him from this close without his chest feeling tedious. "Let's fight for our love, for each other." The younger said.
Yeonjun hummed, a big smile forming on his lips either. He pulled Soobin closer to himself, eyes locking on the adorable pink lips. The younger giggled, his large hand placed between the black strands. He caressed the still wet hairs, tempting the older to lean in and who was Yeonjun to say no?
"And fuck, I want you"