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Of Itoshi Sae’s fans, no one had loved him more than Rin. For him, being Sae's younger brother was the best thing in the world. Rin wouldn’t have traded it for anything else, and he hadn’t thought of himself as being in Sae’s shadow.
After all, they were the Itoshi brothers, they were the striker duo who everyone hated playing against, because Sae and Rin couldn’t be beaten.
Rin remembered the resentful looks of the losers, other boys who cried to their parents, wishing they were even half as talented as Sae and Rin were. When he was younger, Rin bragged incessantly to his friends and classmates about Sae until they got sick of hearing his name, but Rin didn’t care. Sae was his hero, and he would’ve fought anyone who said Sae couldn’t be.
Rin remembered walking home with Sae after games. Even at eight-years-old, Sae was the frequent target of post-game interviews, but he never wanted to do them. He’d take Rin’s hand and lead him away from the reporters and cameramen, distracting Rin with the promise of their favorite popsicles, which Sae always paid for.
Rin asked once, “Why don’t you ever let me pay?”
“Because you have to save up, Rin.”
Somehow, Sae had the worst luck with the popsicles’ prizes. No matter how good his day was going, it’d only take the two words YOU LOSE stamped on a wooden popsicle stick to ruin it—at least for a little while, until he got over it. Rin tried not to gloat over winning whenever Sae didn’t, but he couldn’t help smiling around the popsicle in his mouth. Watching Sae angrily crunch down on his losing popsicle stick was too funny.
With memories like these, more than anything, Rin remembered how nice Sae used to be. His Shitty. Older. Brother. But at least back then, until that night… Sae had still been one to him.
Even after the snow had started to fall, Rin stayed behind to train some more. He refused to use weather as an excuse to slack off. He couldn’t let himself go home yet when he still had more to give, more time before his body would tell him to rest, and the snow and cold would become too much.
Rin never expected the reunion he waited four years for. He sensed something was off the moment he looked into his older brother's lifeless eyes, but he welcomed Sae home anyway. The surprise and happiness Rin felt seeing Sae again was almost overwhelming. There was a single suitcase behind Sae, the sound of its small wheels rolling along, as well as Sae’s footfalls, having been what alerted Rin to another presence on the field. For a silly moment, Rin thought Sae would unzip his suitcase and pull out a souvenir from Spain.
Yet even a few strides away from Rin, Sae felt farther away than ever before. Farther away than even when he was in an entirely different country.
Sae thought him worthless, unnecessary. Lukewarm.
The dream they shared of becoming the best in the world together, of winning the World Cup was nothing to Sae anymore. Any hope Rin had left of thinking otherwise was gone when he lost to Sae in a one-on-one.
As Sae left him there on the field, Rin didn’t know what to do with himself. There was no point in training anymore after a loss like that. Dictated by routine, he put the rest of the footballs away before walking home in a daze. Rin expected Sae to be home already when he walked through the front door, but much to their parents’ disappointment, he wasn’t there. Sae had opted to stay at a hotel, but it wasn’t to spare Rin the further humiliation of sleeping in the same room as someone he'd lost to. It was so Sae wouldn’t have to see the faces of his own family.
Rin skipped dinner, ignoring his parents’ protests as he went to his bedroom. His eyes landed on the nightstand full of Sae’s awards, and it was like the rage came rushing back. Rin stalked over to the nightstand and with one wave of an arm, knocked all the awards off. Whether it was by accident or not, even the picture frame of a younger Sae and Rin and their football team together fell to the floor, the glass cracking in the middle. Rin barely registered his parents running in, asking what had happened, what was wrong.
He didn’t sleep that night, nor did he sweep Sae’s awards off the bedroom floor. Their parents wanted Rin to apologize to Sae for it, but he wouldn’t. Even if Sae remembered the awards he kept at home, Rin doubted he would’ve cared that they were now broken.
Something had changed Sae while experiencing the world, Rin knew that. For a moment, he wondered what it was. For another, he regretted following in Sae’s footsteps, playing football like he did. Rin could’ve played another sport, or no sport at all. Then he realized those years of playing weren’t a waste.
Without a dream to chase after, there was only one thing Rin wanted now.
And that was revenge.