Chapter Text
It’s another day for Lena as she sits at her desk at L-Corp in National City. It’s an expected moment for her when she gets a memo from Jess that her phone call is coming up. What she doesn't expect is her personal cell ringing at the exact moment she’s about to hop on a conference call.
Naturally, she wants to ignore her cell. Shut it off. But it’s been a long week, and she distractedly thinks about who she even knows who would call her while she’s at work? Or at all, you know, instead of texting? Especially this unknown number. Finding out more about this mystery sounds more interesting, anyway.
She answers her cell.
It’s a woman’s voice. “Is this Lena Luthor?”
In a rare moment, she almost wavers. “Yes.”
“Hi, Lena. This is Special Agent Sally Vance, from the FBI.” Oh no. A moment of silence. “Do you know Kara Danvers?”
Yes. Yes, she does. “I do.”
Special Agent Vance continues. “She’s applying for a job here and listed you as a reference. Can I ask you a few questions? Do you have half an hour?”
Lena racks her brain. This is all a big surprise to her. In fact, she’s never been more surprised in her life. “There? Are you sure she listed me?”
“As I said, she’s applying for a job at The White House, and listed you as a reference. Can I ask you a few questions?”
“I’ll make the time,” Lena says as she types away at her computer, clearing half an hour.
When she’s done, she remains silent. After a moment, Special Agent Vance speaks up. “How long have you known each other, and how did you meet?”
Okay, not so bad. She can handle this. Lena can handle this. Of course she can. It’s half an hour and it’s questions she should know the answers to. No harm. Just the truth. “We met through work. Well, through becoming the journalist she is now, she had some questions for me. That was sometime around 2016.” Special Agent Vance remains silent, to get Lena to elaborate. Lena knows this, and still, she bites. “That’s how we met, but it’s not how we know each other. We became fast friends.”
Lena’s smart enough that she should have seen the next question coming. “How often do you have contact?”
What Lena says next comes out of her mouth so easily, it hurts. “We used to spend time together in person every day. But we haven’t spoken since December.” It’s May now.
It’s October, 2017, on Lena’s birthday. Only, Kara doesn’t know it yet. It’s Kara’s first time in Lena’s apartment, and Lena’s cooking her dinner. It’s hard to believe that she can focus, adrenaline high from the thrill of their first date-date. As in, first “I am romantically interested in you” date, vs their countless “we’re friends but we cuddle and hold hands and almost kiss” dates.
This time, they do kiss.
It’s a quiet moment on the couch. They’re not watching anything, or saying anything. They’re content sitting there looking at each other. Really looking at each other. Kara breaks the silence when she whispers, “I have been in love with no one, and never shall, unless it should be with you."
Lena blushes, “I know that’s a reference because of how you said it and you reference pop culture a lot but I don’t understand.”
Kara inches closer, “It’s from Carmilla. The novel.”
“I don’t know what that means.” Lena laughs.
“It means I love you. I’m in love with you. And I can’t see myself loving anyone else but you.” Kara blurts it out like she won’t get to say it ever again.
“...Well that’s the best birthday gift I could have hoped for.” Lena smiles, smugly. She knows it’ll get a rise out of Kara, and potentially one upping the sweet love confession. It’s not a competition, but it feels like a game. That she wants to play with Kara forever.
Kara feels the same way, and her next move is clear to her. “Really?” Kara says, initiating a kiss. The world stands still, blah blah blah, and Kara breaks the kiss, replying, “Are you sure about that?”
Lena replies simply, “I love you too.”
The memory flings Lena into space. She goes from happy to sad to mad to confused, to all of the above, all at once. “Why are you asking me these questions?”
Special Agent Vance replies plainly, “we’re just trying to paint a good picture of who Ms. Danvers is. Can I continue?” Lena says yes. “Great. What’s her family like?”
Lena wants to throw her phone at the wall. What is she supposed to say? “They adore her. They are all as kind and loving as Kara is, and for a time, it was my family, too.” That’s not going to work. She doesn’t want to go there. “They’re all excellent at their jobs and are exceptionally kind. They’re unwavering with their unconditional love. Just like Kara.” Lena can’t bring herself to say anything unkind, after all these years.
It’s December 2018, and Lena spends her first Christmas with a family who actually likes each other. She gets to do all of the things she’s heard of people doing for Christmas, and it’s lovely. What she loves most, is Kara’s love for the festivities. It all makes sense. Loving Karta makes the world make sense to her.
When Lena gets a matching Danvers family ugly Christmas sweater, it becomes too much for her, and Kara is happy to spend the alone time with her cuddling. A future with a loving family is becoming all too real for her, and for a moment, she thinks about starting her own family. With Kara.
This is when Kara gives Lena a secret present. It’s stupid, she knows, but she wants to. It’s a kryptonite necklace. It’s a symbol, to show her trust. Lena is against the idea and knows it’s a bad idea, but she’s almost on board with the idea when Kara says something about how she wants to give up everything she has to her. Lena feels the same way. She can understand that. So she accepts the necklace.
Lena is almost embarrassed by the memory because she has the sweater at the top of her bottom drawer and she wears it sometimes, when she’s alone, or spending a day inside her apartment, lounging around. Lena feels like a fucking idiot. How could she possibly have thought she could handle this?
“Does she have any friends? Can you describe them?”
Lena explains that Kara has many friends from work. She’s friendly with everyone. Kara understands the value of having friends. Kara can make anyone think they’re special, close friends. Kara was best friends with a Luthor, after all. She thinks she might have overshared, but it’s the truth.
Lena wants to think about the times they would hang out with Kara’s friends. It was all so weird. They eventually warmed up to her, but it was all so weird. WIth tabloids, then with Kara’s Pulitzer prize. People had many ways of finding out about her, and their relationship, and it was weird that Kara’s friends probably saw her face in the news, or on social media, more than in person.
But they came around. They all trust Kara, and Kara keeps good people around her. Lena says that all, finding ways to omit the whole, you know, Supergirl thing.
“Can you describe the places she’s worked?” This time, Special Agent Vance’s voice startles Lena.
“She worked at The Scoop in Midvale when she was 16, and then for CatCo, which is now an L-Corp subsidiary.” The latter half is something that everyone seems to know, and Lena tries to sound as normal as possible saying it. Did she even have to? “I’m sure The Scoop has plenty of kind things to say about Kara Danvers.”
Lena can easily recall pretty much anything about Kara Danvers. Between dating for as long as they did, and her good memory, it was easy. Except, it wasn’t easy. Not one bit. Because she hadn’t heard from Kara in MONTHS after their fallout and she really, really thought Kara would come around but she didn’t and now she’s talking to some lady from the FBI about her ex and---
“To your knowledge, does she drink? How much?” Lena answers quickly, thankful for the actual easy question.
“She doesn’t drink, and the one time she did, it was with me. We were in her apartment, she giggled a bit, but kind of hated it.” Funny enough, Lena had completely forgotten about that. Weird.
“So what are the places she’s lived, who she’s lived with?”
Again, Lena is able to ramble off a complete answer. She starts from Kara growing up in Midvale, to her college roommates, and then in National City. It’s so detailed, that Special Agent Vance questions her about it. Lena breaks. “I don’t think you understand how much I loved her. I remember everything she’s ever said to me.”
For a while, Special Agent Vance asks questions that are odd, but simple to answer. How is she with her finances? Does she have a history of misusing technology? Does she have any affiliation with terrorist organizations? Special Agent Vance asks about her loyalty to the country, and her marital status. The questions take up a good chunk of time, and Lena is starting to feel fine again.
Which, she should have seen as a bad sign. Because suddenly, all that’s left is, “You mentioned that you broke up, can you talk more about your falling out?”
It’s December 2020, and Kara’s powerless from solar flaring. It was to save Lena, who is home with her, safe, so it was worth it. But it’s barely 24hours later that Kara wants to go back out there, and keep fighting. This really just leads to her fighting with Lena about what she can and can’t do.
Lena’s taken a week off of work, and the act doesn’t go unnoticed by Kara, but it’s not enough. Emotions are running high and they’ve been dating for years, and in a moment of weakness, Lena says the one thing she promised she’d never say, ever. She says it in desperation, to get Kara to stay. Home. Where she’s safe. Kara thinks, deep down inside, that it’s reasonable, but she won’t back down from this fight. She doesn't even know if she’s going to fight crime, but she needs space, and Lena’s not giving it to her.
“If you walk out that door, I swear to god, I will go full Luthor on you, and reveal your identity to the world.” Lena doesn’t mean to say it and regrets it the second it leaves her mouth.
Kara stops dead in her tracks. She’s always had a line that Lena’s never crossed, and there Lena stood, across that line, clear as day. In a rage, almost, Kara yanks Lena’s necklace off. Only, it shatters in her hand and it hurts her. Lena reaches out, and she pulls away.
With tears in her eyes, Kara raises her voice at Lena for the first time. “Do you understand what you’ve done? I’m never going to forgive you.”
That was the last time Lena had heard from Kara. In the aftermath, Kara had removed her things while Lena was at work, and Lena hadn’t heard from Kara, or anyone. Kara had all but disappeared. Almost. Sometimes, Lena couldn’t escape images of Supergirl. That was before Supergirl sort of disappeared, too.
It was hard for her to process everything, so she didn’t, really. She made herself busy and never made time. But now she can’t stop thinking about what Kara is and why the fuck she wanted to work for the FBI. She had so many questions, but all she could do was sit and answer someone else's questions.
Eventually, the half-hour was up, Special Agent Vance concluded the interview, then hung up. Lena sat there, stunned. In the half-hour that the interview lasted, Lena had been forced to begin her breakup processing.
She did the logical, obvious thing to do, and pulled out her Supergirl signal watch. She’d never touched it since Kara gave it to her, all those years ago.