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"Are you sure this is good idea?" Scott asks for the millionth time, looking at his best friend with pleading eyes.
"Yeah, dude stop your worrying, or she's going to think that you are a coward and never talk to you again. And I will be the one that's gonna cry after you when you kill yourself from shame and sadness. Remember what Boyd said?" Stiles says, turning back to look at Scott and finding him on the bench in front of Ms. Dyer's house. He sighs and runs back to his friend. "Did you even listen to a word I said?"
Scott closes his eyes, looks about as done as Stiles feels. "Yeah, yeah. 'Stop acting like a coward Scott, She won't ever talk to you again Scott, Remember what Boyd said Scott.' What am I supposed to do dude? I really like this girl. Ever since she moved here, I can't stop thinking about her. And that was five months ago!"
Stiles punches him on the arm. "Open your eyes dumbass and look at me." Scott does as he's said, but his eyes are teary and Stiles doubts that it's because of the punch. "Do you remember thing for Derek? I was really gone on him dude. You remember right? I told him that I liked him at Danny's party and you know what he did? He told me to go play with someone else. Like what does that even mean right? I was this close to open my chest and give my heart out to him and he humiliated me."
Scott's eyes widen and he stands up so fast Stiles doesn't even see him until he's standing right in front of Stiles, face scrunched up in fury. "You never told me he did that. You just told me that he had said no. Stiles why didn't you say anything?"
"That's not the point Scott." Stiles stands up too, meeting Scott's gaze, he looks like he wants to protest but Stiles keeps talking. "The point is I don't know what Allison is going to say to you tonight, I don't know if she's going to kiss you or hug you or slap you, even." Scott looks like he's about to throw up so Stiles pats his back and smiles "But what I do know is that if she doesn't want you, or laughs at you, then she's never deserved a kind-hearted, loyal, handsome guy like you."
That makes Scott smile. But then he frowns again. His face suddenly unreadable. He starts walking again and Stiles hurries after him unsure of what to say. So he stays quiet.
Scott talks first. "I'm going to kill Derek for laughing at you."
"Well any other time I'd be glad but tonight isn't about me so forget about Derek, focus on your speech, focus on your hair and your breathing, okay? No dancing until you've talked to Allison. We are not taking that risk, you know how you get when you dance." Stiles says, trying to chance the subject.
The thing is, he's still not over it. He's liked Derek since freshmen year. Derek was not this popular back then. He was just as normal as Stiles, coming to school with his big sister, eating lunch with couple of friends, never fighting or arguing with anyone. But ever since Laura graduated three years ago, Derek became the new shit. He became the captain of the football team, came out as bi, had three different girlfriends in one year, became friends with everyone - everyone other than Stiles. - he had only talked to Stiles five times. One of them being the oh so painful rejection of course.
And Stiles, now understand how stupid he'd been. Why would anyone like Derek ever be friends with him let alone go on a date with him?
o-o-o-o
"Stiles, you came!"
Stiles turns around just as the blonde throws herself at him "Erica!" he says kissing her cheek. "Of course I came, this is a great party, you remember my friend Scott, right?"
Erica, being Erica, checks Scott out and hugs him too "Oooh yes, I remember him. We met at Sandra's party two weeks ago." She lets go of Scott and grabs their hands. "Come on guys come meet everyone."
The party is loud and a little crowded for Stiles' liking but he follows her anyway. There are a few people looking at them, obviously wondering what the hell are they doing here, but this is Boyd's party and Boyd is Erica's boyfriend and Erica is Stiles' friend and Scott is also Stiles' friend so they have every right to be here.
Erica drags them into the living room where six people are sitting and chatting with each other. He recognises four of them immediately and screams eternally. Luckily, Erica saves him from gaping like an animal by talking.
"Hey guys, this is Stiles one of my childhood friends, and this is his other childhood friend Scott." She walks into the room and sits down on Boyd's lap. "Guys meet Isaac, he transfered to our school this year."
Isaac waves at them, a big smile on his face.
"This is Allison, his step-sister, she also transfered this year." Erica says, nudging Allison with her elbow, who is smiling at Scott.
"Hey Scott, an- and Style." she says eventually, earning a sheepish 'Hi Allison' from Scott. Stiles doesn't bother correcting her, knowing she'll forget again.
Isaac and Erica share a look, and Stiles feels like he wants to fly because Scott and Allison are totally gonna hit it off later.
"This is Lydia, I'm sure you know her, and her boyfriend Jackson." Erica says, still giggling.
"Hi" They both say at the same time and look at each other with so much affection that makes Stiles want to throw up hearts even from seeing it. Him and Jackson aren't really best friends but they aren't enemies either. They can tolerate each other. But with Lydia, he isn't that much lucky. He's had a crush on her once, back in elementary school before he found out he was gay, and she never lets it go.
"And this is Derek, Boyd and Jackson's friend from the football team."
Derek meets his eyes and looks at him with so little emotion that Stiles shudders. Scott tenses next to him. "Hi." he says, not taking his eyes away from Stiles'. "You guys are on the lacrosse team right?"
Stiles open his mouth, closes it, trying to find words, trying to make a sound but nothing comes out. The last thing he was prepared for was to see Derek here, so he doesn't know what to do.
"Uh, yes we are. We are co-captains of the team." Scott, bless his shining soul, saves him from another humiliation.
"Co-captains? What the hell is that?" Jackson asks, and Stiles takes back everything he ever said nice about Jackson. God, he actually hates the guy.
Scott and Stiles sit next to Allison and Isaac. "I mostly lead the game but Stiles manages the team." Scott says, next to him Allison says something about leadership but Stiles really can't hear anything.
"So basically, you two are married and Stilinski here is the wife huh?" Jackson asks, a smirk in his face. He's looking directly at Stiles but Stiles can't take his eyes away from Derek who is laughing at Jackson's joke.
Stiles can feel his face turning red, can hear his own heartbeat getting faster, he can feel his palms sweating and his hands shaking. He feels exactly like when Derek rejected him, laughed at him. He used to love the sound of Derek's laughter, but now, hearing it gives him a panic attack, reminding him of the humiliation he felt.
"Don't talk about him like that." Scott says in a tone so serious, everyone in the room stops talking. Erica and Boyd are looking at Jackson like they saw him for the first time, Isaac looks angry, Allison puts her arm around Stiles, Lydia scoots away from Jackson, and Derek stops laughing his face unreadable. "You don't know anything about him, why would you say something like that? Is it because he's gay? Well fuck you dude, so is- "
"Scott!" Stiles finally finds his voice. "Stop. If you think that I care about what Jackson Whittemore thinks of me, you're wrong." he makes a sound that sounds like a laugh "He hates me because I had a crush on Lydia when I was like ten."
"It's not him." Scott says, looking right at Derek and Stiles wants to die right there and then.
"Sooo, who wants beer?" Erica asks after a moment of silence.
o-o-o-o
Stiles is having his fourth beer, not as drunks as he wants to be yet, listening to Isaac talk about France, who is completely drunk off his ass. He keeps saying french words without realizing and it's hilarious. If Stiles was in a better mood he would've taken a video, but he feels like shit. Scott is off somewhere flirting with Allison, Erica and Boyd are making out. Jackson and Lydia are nowhere to be seen, much to Stiles' joy, and Derek is sitting on the couch talking with a guy from the football team.
And Isaac is saying something.
"Wha-"
"I said what's wrong with you and Derek?" he asks like he's asking for the hundredth time, he probably is.
"Nothing, what gives you that idea?" Stiles says, feeling that panic creeping up on him again.
"Oh come on, you've been staring at each other like all night, I've never seen him look at anyone like that, or that much to be honest." Isaac says, smirking. He takes a sip of his
beer. "You've been staring too."
"It was nice talking to you Isaac." Stiles starts to walk away from Isaac to go find Scott.
"Whoa, whoa, okay stop." Isaac hurries after him and turns him around. "I'm not saying anything, jeez." he sighs. "I'm sorry. It's just that earlier I saw the way you looked at him, when Jackson was being a douche and he was laughing. You looked so broken like you were about to cry and I just-" he runs his hand in his hair. Looking frustrated. "I was just wondering what the hell had happened between the two of you."
Stiles looks behind Isaac's shoulder to see Derek looking at them with a frown on his face. He looks back at Isaac "Come with me." He takes Isaac's hand and takes them to the nearest room. He makes sure the door is locked before turning back to Isaac.
Isaac has the 'startled kid' look on his face. "As much as I am flattered, Stiles, I have to say, I'm straight."
Stiles rolls his eyes. "I know Jackass, sit down." he gestures the chair next to - what he assumes - Erica's bed.
Isaac obeys without a word.
"I'm in love with Derek." Stiles says. And realizes for the first time how much that is true.
"Oh." Isaac looks like he is beginning to understand. "And does he know that?"
"Yeah, I told him last year."
"And?"
"He laughed at me."
"Oh."
o-o-o-o
"And then we kissed again." Scott is saying, too loud, god way too loud. "She gave me her number and I gave her mine, we are going out this Saturday."
"Scott buddy, I love you and everything, but can you please be a little less loud?" Stiles asks while drinking another bottle of water. Who said it was a good idea to go to a party on a school night.
"Sorry, it's just that I'm so happy dude!"
"Good for you." the voice brings Stiles up short, because he knows it very well.
They both stop to look at Derek standing in front of them. Arms crossed against his chest, a frown on his face, looking like he wants to be anywhere but there.
"What you want?" Scott asks him, standing in front of Stiles like he wants to block Derek's view of Stiles. His voice is even colder than last night, all the excitement gone.
"I want to talk to Stiles. Alone." Derek takes a step closer to Scott but not threateningly.
"Well forget it. After what you've done to him-"
Derek's head snaps up. "What I've done to him?"
He looks so offended, Stiles wonders what the hell he's done to make Derek look like that.
"Yeah, you humiliated him. Yo-"
"Scott why don't you go talk to Allison about your date? I'll catch up." Stiles says, moving to stand next to Scott, looking at Derek.
Scott looks like he wants to shout at Derek, but then he looks at Stiles and nods, walks away.
Other student are looking at them too, like expecting a fight. Derek clears his throat.
"We should go outside, we need to talk."
Stiles exhales. "Okay."
o-o-o-o
They are the only ones in the parking lot, which is understandable because everyone else is in class. Stiles just hopes that this is - whatever this is - worth skipping class.
In about fifteen minutes, he loses it.
"Okay, okay stop walking we've walked enough. I'm not leaving the school with you. So, start talking."
"What did you do with Isaac in that room?" Derek asks finally ask and that- that's not what Stiles was expecting.
"Huh?"
"You, Isaac, Erica's bedroom, why?" Derek asks again, only this time, he sounds angry.
"Why do you care?" It doesn't make any sense. Why would Derek ask something like that. He didn't care about Stiles but maybe, maybe he cared about- "You like Isaac?!"
He can't help it, he sounds desperate. He feels like Derek actually reached inside him and squeezed his heart. The thought of him being in love with someone and being jealous of
them over Stiles, threatening him-
"What? No!" Derek looks confused. Like Stiles just asked him if he liked killing kittens for fun.
"Then why are you asking?" Stiles asks, his voice rising.
"Did you mean it?"
"Did I mean what?"
"When you said that you liked me, last year."
That is not what Stiles has been expecting either. But Derek looks sincere so he says, "Yeah. I was."
Now Derek looks- Derek looks hurt. "I didn't know that. I thought you were joking."
What the fuck? "What the fuck?"
"I'm sorry. I thought you hated me. Jackson and I became friends and he told me about your crush on Lydia, he said not to get ideas about you because you were still hung up on
his girlfriend. Then you told me you liked me and I just- I wasn't expecting that. I thought you were making fun of me. Trying to- to -- But then you just stopped talking to me, you stopped looking at me and I thought maybe I was wrong, you know?"
Derek looks more vulnerable than Stiles has ever seen him before. He talks fast and looks right at Stiles and he keep moving his hands like he wants to show Stiles something, his eyes are huge and his face is red and he is beautiful. Yeah, he's beautiful. "Are you telling me that when I told you that I liked you, you thought I was making fun of you?"
"Yeah."
"Why?" One thing that he can't understand is why would Derek think that he would do something like that, something that cruel.
Derek looks down, clearing his throat. "Because I liked you the moment I saw you, since freshmen year, and everyone knows how much you hate Jackson, so I thought that you knew about my feelings and, I panicked. So I laughed. It was a defense mechanism." he looks up at Stiles. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."
Stiles can't believe it. This has to be a dream. He knows he's gaping and he probably looks ridiculous, but he can't help it. This feels so good to be true. He slaps himself, when that doesn't do anything he pinches his arm then slaps himself again.
"What are you doing?" He looks up to see Derek looking at him, smiling. "You aren't dreaming. This is real."
"I just never thought I would hear you say those words." Stiles explains, grinning.
"That I'm sorry?"
"That you like me."
Derek smiles and it's the most beautiful thing in the world. "I like and love you."
Stiles forgets how to breathe. "You- oh."
Suddenly Derek's at his side,one of his hands is at his back and the other is holding his. "Was that too much? I'm sorry. I know you have panic attack, I shouldn't have-"
"It's okay, Derek" Stiles smiles. He grips Derek's hand more tightly and kisses him.
The kiss is soft, nothing more than touching of their lips, but it's enough for Stiles. Derek hold him as he kisses him, his arm wrapped around Stiles' waist, while holding his hand and Stiles has an arm around Derek's neck, pulling him even closer.
Stiles stops kissing Derek because he forgets that has to breathe. He steps back and looks at Derek. His eyes are still closed and he is still leaning towards Stiles, he looks light-headed, his cheeks are red and his lips are puffy. For someone who's kissed a lot of people, he looks very satisfied with Stiles' first kiss.
Stiles smiles and finds Derek looking at his lips. "I like and love you too."