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Chapter Text

Liu Qingge clutched his teacup a little too tightly, with a tension that contrasted directly with his sister who sat down across from him, looking peaceful.

“Brother, it is nice to see you,” Liu Mingyan greeted with a pleasant nod.

Liu Qingge grunted in return.

“How have you been?” Mingyan questioned, starting their conversation casually like she usually did.

“Fine,” Liu Qingge replied, earning him a little huff from his sister.

She was used to it though.

The two of them had tea regularly after all (as long as Liu Qingge wasn’t on any hunts that kept him off the mountain for long periods of time), so Liu Mingyan knew what to expect from him.

They’d never been exceptionally close as children, given their age gap, but they got along well enough. Both of them being Cang Qiong cultivators had certainly brought them closer, which was good. Liu Qingge would never consider himself to be personable on any level, and felt no need to be, happy with his own strengths and how he carried himself. But it was nice to have people around sometimes.

Nice to have family around.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s bothering you, or am I to guess?” Liu Mingyan smiled cunningly under her veil.

On the other hand, being closer to your sibling also meant they thought they could get away with being a little shit.

Liu Qingge glared her way.

“If Qi Qingqi is only training you to gossip, you’d do better on Bai Zhan.”

“Fine, fine, you don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to,” Liu Mingyan nodded, tapping the teacup she’d grabbed.

Liu Qingge took a sip of his tea. It was too sweet and fruity for his taste, but it had been a gift.

“How is your courtship with Shen-shibo going?”

Liu Qingge promptly choked on his tea.

Liu Mingyan raised a single eyebrow as Liu Qingge recovered to the best of his ability, well aware of how red he must be.

“Courtship?! What the hell are you talking about?” Liu Qingge demanded, horrified.

They weren’t courting! Him and Shen Qingqiu? Impossible!

Shen Qingqiu was stuck up and arrogant. Someone without honour who looked down on others… or at least that’s what Liu Qingge used to think.

He wasn’t… quite like that anymore. The man’s pompous attitude held something soft now. Something kind. Shen Qingqiu’s sharp smirk had been filed down into small genuine smiles accompanying little snorts of laughter when he thought no one was listening. He was still outwardly graceful, but would trip on his own robes from time to time, or walk just a little faster than necessary when he was excited.

But of course, everyone had noticed these changes. Noticed the sing-song quality of Shen Qingqiu’s voice when he got to ramble about some beast fact he knew. Noticed the way he’d look openly awed at the beauty of Cang Qiong mountain like he’d never seen the place before. Noticed how the man cooed at his disciples when he wasn’t trying to impress and inspire them.

These things were impossible to miss for anyone with functional eyes!

That didn’t mean Liu Qingge was courting him!

“Really?” Liu Mingyan asked. “I heard you’d been spending time together.”

That was just to help cleanse Shen Qingqiu’s meridians! And to try new sweets Shen Qingqiu offered him so the man could brag about his disciple. And to return his fans. And discuss any missions Liu Qingge had returned from since Shen Qingqiu was always excited for those stories. And for…

“In what world does that mean courtship?!”

“What about the kills you’ve been leaving at his doorstep?”

“He likes beasts!”

“So do some of the other peak lords,” Liu Mingyan pointed out.

Liu Qingge grunted in annoyance.

“I owe him a debt,” Liu Qingge said.

That much was true. And while the corpses of the many beasts he defeated would never be equivalent to the life Shen Qingqiu had saved, it was a start. It was better than waiting around for that idiot to put himself in danger again.

Liu Mingyan nodded slowly, but her brows were pinched.

“Brother,” she started. “If I may ask a question then?”

Liu Qingge pursed his lips, unsure whether he wanted this line of questioning to go any further. He would much rather hear about how his sister’s training was progressing, or even about the novels she was so passionate about at this point.

His sister’s eyes weren’t quite pleading, but close enough that Liu Qingge gave in just this once.

“Fine.”

Liu Mingyan’s eyes crinkled happily.

“I only wish to know… if you aren’t courting Shen-shibo, what exactly are your feelings towards him?”

Liu Qingge’s brain came to a halt. His first instinct was to scoff at the stupid question, since it didn’t have anything to do with anything. But before he could, he came to the realization that he… didn’t really know?

He didn’t hate Shen Qingqiu, that was for sure. Not anymore.

Liu Qingge frowned, struggling to sort through recent memories of the Qing Jing peak lord. His feelings felt almost foreign, making him frustrated.

He felt… strongly toward Shen Qingqiu, that much he couldn’t deny. He felt overwhelmed sometimes, by how much Shen Qingqiu affected him. Affected his mood. But hadn’t Shen Qingqiu strongly affected his mood when Liu Qingge had hated him as well?

Thinking along simpler lines, Liu Qingge knew he wanted to protect Shen Qingqiu. He also wanted to protect Cang Qiong, but the feelings weren’t quite the same.

With Cang Qiong, Liu Qingge wanted to play his part in keeping it safe when necessary, a contributor to the greater good of their noble mountain sect.

With Shen Qingqiu… with Shen Qingqiu he wanted to be the one the other relied on. He didn’t just want to be a contributor to Shen Qingqiu’s safety, he wanted to be there even when his shixiong wasn’t in danger. He wanted to be with Shen Qingqiu just to be there. To sneak a smile or laugh out of him, maybe. Or maybe Shen Qingqiu’s presence itself was enough.

But what did that mean?

Liu Qingge only got more frustrated the more he thought about it.

Liu Mingyan seemed to realize this as well.

“It’s okay not to know, but I think it’s simpler than you’re making it out to be,” Liu Mingyan said.

The frown didn’t leave Liu Qingge’s face. Now that this had been brought to his attention, the question lingered in his brain. All these feelings he’d left unexamined to gather dust in the corner, only to grow and fester until his sister came in to unveil their contents.

Liu Qingge hated leaving things unresolved.

“Perhaps looking at it differently may help,” Liu Mingyan suggested, recognizing her brother’s irritation. “What would things be like without Shen-shibo?”

“What?” Liu Qingge was startled by the question.

“How would you feel if Shen-shibo wasn’t around anymore?” Liu Mingyan repeated patiently.

How would he feel?

Angry, of course. Furious at the man for leaving Cang Qiong (for leaving him).

Confused, probably. Why would Shen Qingqiu leave in the first place? Was he okay? Was he safe? The peak lord attracted more danger than a child wandering into a forest of hungry beasts.

Frustration perhaps, at having allowed Shen Qingqiu to disappear.

But this question was foolish. Because if Shen Qingqiu ever disappeared, it wouldn’t be about what he would feel, but what he would do. And the answer to that was easy.

Liu Qingge would search for the man until he was found. Waste no effort on getting him back. Fight tirelessly until Shen Qingqiu was back home. He wouldn’t have time to feel angry (worried) or frustrated (devastated), when he would be too busy solving the problem.

“It doesn’t matter, I would just find him,” Liu Qingge answered firmly.

He very much disliked this scenario though, the very idea making him sick to his stomach.

He also disliked the look Mingyan was giving him, like she’d provided him with some kind of answer.

(Maybe she had.)

“Of course. I’m sure you would find time to look during your missions,” Liu Mingyan tugged lightly at her veil.

“The only mission would be finding Shen Qingqiu,” Liu Qingge frowned, like the fact was obvious.

Because it was obvious. How would he be able to take on missions if Shen Qingqiu was missing? It would be his first and only priority.

“Yes, yes,” Liu Mingyan nodded. “Because you owe him a debt of course.”

Liu Qingge’s frown deepened.

He supposed saving Shen Qingqiu was important for his honour, but it wouldn’t be the driving force. He had no ulterior motive; he just couldn’t stand the thought of Shen Qingqiu not here. Couldn’t stand Shen Qingqiu being somewhere Liu Qingge couldn’t follow.

Oh.

Things were starting to become clearer, and the result brought a blush to Liu Qingge’s face.

He thought back to the past two years. All the fans and beasts and times showing up briefly on Qing Jing just to end up spending the entire afternoon there. All these things he’d never done for anyone else. All these things he did for one man.

There was a beat of silence as he considered what it meant. What it had probably meant for a long time.

Liu Mingyan waited patiently, sipping steadily at the now cooled tea. She kept a perfect posture, eyes watching her brother’s face take on several different emotions despite his ever-present frown.

After a moment, Liu Qingge opened his mouth to speak. To verbalize some of his revelations. To find out what he should do with the revelations.

“What…” Liu Qingge trailed off, face hard and contemplating. “…What happens if… someone wanted to start a courtship… but the method they were unknowingly using wasn’t working?” Liu Qingge finally managed to finish his sentence.

His face burned even after he spoke.

Liu Qingge wanted to deny it. He also wanted to crush himself for only figuring it out now. Wanted to make up an excuse for feeling the way he did.

But he couldn’t. Not anymore.

He had feelings for Shen Qingqiu. He wanted to court Shen Qingqiu.

He wanted to court Shen Qingqiu!

“Actually, I may have a suggestion that could be of use?” Liu Mingyan offered, with no comment over Liu Qingge’s tense frame or tightened jaw.

Liu Qingge met her gaze, raising his brows as a signal to continue.

“People like Shen-shibo—” Liu Qingge’s eyes narrowed, “—and others respond better to a more direct method. They may misunderstand unless told of one’s intentions directly. Perhaps something like the written word would work well, rather than gifts?”

Liu Qingge scoffed at the ridiculous notion. He was no scholar, or any sort of writer to that point. Even if Liu Qingge had those types of feelings for his shixiong, no amount of clumsily written poetry would ever be marked as impressive.

It was more laughable than anything.

“Ridiculous,” Liu Qingge said.

“Writing out one’s feelings depends not on skill. Any words from the heart will be seen for what they are, with or without the addition of intricate imagery,” Liu Mingyan explained with a passion Liu Qingge often saw when she discussed writing. “And in addition to expressing oneself to the intended person, writing down how they make you feel could be useful in figuring out your own feelings.”

“It would be foolish,” Liu Qingge retorted.

The idea of venting his emotions was slightly appealing. He usually targeted that kind of thing toward his training and hunts, but it seemed to be doing less and less for him these days. He would trudge home, physically exhausted, but some stupid thing Shen Qingqiu said would still circle on repeat in his head.

Gods, why did Shen Qingqiu have to be so frustrating? Why did he have to like this frustrating man?

Liu Qingge was a man of action, not one to use the arts as an outlet. Writing only angered him when he was forced to complete reports or forms for that cowardly Shang Qinghua, and now he would be writing about how he was feeling? The more he thought about it, the worse this suggestion seemed.

“Getting letters like that would probably make Shen-shibo happy,” Liu Mingyan shrugged.

Liu Qingge’s eyes widened.

Would something like that really impress Shen Qingqiu? It wasn’t impossible…

“And you could always write them anonymously to test whether it works,” Liu Mingyan added, looking overly pleased with herself and muttering something about ‘the allure of mystery’.

“Like a coward?”

Liu Qingge wasn’t one to hide from a fight.

“You could sign them if you preferred? The beasts you leave are all clearly from you even though you never take explicit credit, and this probably wouldn’t be any different. I only suggested it as an option, but I’m sure Shen-shibo would like them either way.”

Liu Qingge clenched and unclenched his fist.

Why was he even considering this? Since when had he been so desperate to see Shen Qingqiu happy? To be the one to make him happy?

But he was. So much so that Mingyan had realized his feelings before he himself had. And now that he knew he wanted to court Shen Qingqiu…

…Fuck.

“What kind of writing?” Liu Qingge asked in more of a mutter than anything else.

Liu Mingyan’s smile widened under her veil.

***

It was a sunny afternoon when the first note appeared.

Shen Qingqiu was lamenting the waste of perfectly good sunlight as he stared down the mountain of paperwork. He knew he’d have to trap himself at his desk for the day if he stood any chance of keeping up with his duties.

Okay yes, he’d planned to do more last night, but the warm meal Binghe had made had put him right to sleep. So he had to suffer today instead, holed up in his room/office while everyone else played and enjoyed the beautiful day.

Well, they would be training furiously not playing, but Shen Qingqiu reserved the right to be salty.

Sitting down at his desk, Shen Qingqiu was almost caught off guard by the sheer volume of paperwork and essays strewn about the surface. Typically Ming Fan and Binghe were extremely good at organizing the paperwork he received, sorting piles by urgency and even responding to some themselves with Shen Qingqiu’s permission and review.

Sadly, the amount of time his disciples took to assist him with his paperwork was cutting into their cultivation time. They never complained, but both Ming Fan and Luo Binghe (especially Binghe) suffered from a severe case of ‘Need to Impress Shizun’ syndrome. This meant when they took on paperwork duties, they were mercilessly meticulous, reading and rereading letters to ensure they missed nothing and could make Shen Qingqiu’s job as easy as possible.

As someone who considered himself naturally lazy, Shen Qingqiu deeply appreciated their dedication but also… his disciples were here to learn cultivation and the four arts. If they wanted to take up the art of boring ass paperwork, they would be on An Ding Peak!

So Shen Qingqiu had temporarily banned his disciples from spending too much time on his paperwork.

But looking at the mess of papers now, Shen Qingqiu was regretting trying to be a good teacher. This was way too much!

With a sigh, Shen Qingqiu began working through the avalanche of assignments with all the excitement of an underpaid desk worker.

He started with overdue reports for Yue Qingyuan (who never pestered him over deadlines anyways), writing neatly but quickly. Grading essays came next, Shen Qingqiu knowing full well he’d been putting it off for far too long. It was slow work, as Shen Qingqiu wanted to give fair critiques to each student, as well as areas to improve on. It was very up his alley, aside from needing to mellow out harsher comments that came to mind while reading.

But it was when he began sorting through the dozen letters he’d received that he found it.

The letter on top of the pile was addressed to him, as was every letter here, but it was the contents that were strange.

‘I get chest pains when I’m with you.’

Those were the only words on the paper, written in large scrawl with no name or any other indication of the sender’s identity. Shen Qingqiu flipped the page over to check if he was missing something. When he found nothing, he flipped it over again and brought the letter closer to his face.

Shen Qingqiu blinked. Then he reread the words and blinked again.

Was this… an anonymous complaint?

He considered the strange note and paled at the conclusion he came to.

Oh no. He’d been training his disciples too hard! He was following in the footsteps of his predecessor without meaning to! Shen Qingqiu didn’t think he’d assigned any sword forms or physical training that had gone overboard, but his students were still children after all.

Maybe it was the last set of sparring he’d set up? But he’d only personally tested the older disciples and even then, no one had shown signs of injury?

Unless… the student in question had been too scared to say anything? Was he that intimidating? Was the resting bitch face he’d inherited that powerful?

Trying to calm his breathing, Shen Qingqiu folded the note and set it aside. If he was pushing his students too hard, the only thing he could do was tone down the training and prompt his students to speak up if they got been hurt.

Shen Qingqiu groaned, internally cursing. 

He’d messed up. No doubt this injured student would be proof of his child abuse in the future; another person to speak up against him when he faced trial for his crimes. The thought made him shiver, as did the idea of a disciple being injured enough to warrant writing to him about it.

Sadly, there was nothing to do but move forward and make it up to his students tomorrow.

Shen Qingqiu did not finish his paperwork that day.

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu didn’t quite forget about the anonymous letter, but after a lecture to his disciples regarding the importance of reporting injuries to their martial siblings and Shizun, he put it to the back of his mind.

There was enough to stress about, okay? A Peak Lord had many duties to fulfill, something never touched on in the original novel, and Shen Qingqiu enjoyed keeping his existential dread to a minimum.

With this in mind, the appearance of a second anonymous letter, was not something Shen Qingqiu had expected.

As he approached his home after finishing his teaching duties, Shen Qingqiu easily spotted a piece of paper on his doorstep. The note was crinkled under the weight of a rock preventing it from blowing away. He stared at the strange paper for a moment before bending down to pick it up, slipping into his house with the folded page.

When the door clicked shut behind him, Shen Qingqiu chanced a glance at the contents.

The large writing was familiar.

‘You’re distracting.’

Shen Qingqiu’s brain filled with a series of question marks.

What… What did that mean?

Distracting? Was his intimidating presence making it hard for a disciple to focus? At least it was an improvement over harming someone and causing them chest pain. Assuming this was the same person.

Shen Qingqiu rushed to find the other letter and compared the handwriting.

Sure enough, it was almost identical, and unmistakeably from the same sender.

Whichever disciple these were from clearly had many thoughts on Shen Qingqiu as a teacher.

He’s trying his best! If you’re going to critique him, could you at least give him something constructive? What the hell was he supposed to do with ‘you’re distracting’?! He can’t just watch his students from afar with a pair of binoculars and sneak over to correct them all individually. He had to be present if he was going to teach!

Shen Qingqiu shuffled to his bed and plopped down. It was much too early to sleep, but this was his emotional support bed so he could lay here if he wanted to!

He thought about the notes for a while. Thought about what he could do to fix his clearly abysmal teaching.

Maybe he’d start an anonymous teacher’s evaluation box where students could submit their complaints. But the idea of a bunch of kids with the power of anonymity bashing him had him paling and he quickly scrapped the idea.

Instead, he would do what he did best.

Ignore the problem until he was forced to deal with it!

***

The warm steady flow of qi was a comfort that Shen Qingqiu had come to look forward to during his bi-weekly meridian cleansing sessions. It was almost akin to a soothing massage for his spirit veins, but felt more like drinking a hot beverage after being out in the cold for too long.

It helped that the weird tension and intense looks from Liu Qingge had evened out as they’d settled into something of a routine.

That wasn’t to say he was no longer subject to Liu Qingge’s intense looks, those hadn’t disappeared in the slightest. It was more that Shen Qingqiu had become accustomed to his shidi’s strange social mannerisms over the last two years. The glares Liu Qingge wielded like weapons no longer had Shen Qingqiu believing he was going to be attacked, and instead made him chuckle internally at the way they were Liu Qingge’s default expression in every social situation.

Today though, Liu Qingge looked even more intense than usual, eyes piercing even with the easy exchange of qi between them. His shidi appeared to be surveying the room despite having been here so many times before. It was almost like the man was searching for something. Liu Qingge spent the most time gazing at Shen Qingqiu’s desk and adjacent bookshelf for some reason.

“Is there something bothering you, Shidi?” Shen Qingqiu asked casually.

“No,” Liu Qingge replied brusquely.

Eloquent as always, Liu-shidi.

“Of course, my mistake,” Shen Qingqiu said. “This one only wondered what my bookshelf had done to earn such an intense glare. There must be better opponents to pick fights with than my furniture,” he couldn’t help but add.

Shen Qingqiu would never say it aloud, but the righteous Bai Zhan War God was surprisingly easy to tease.

Liu Qingge bristled like an offended cat but otherwise didn’t react to the ploy.

“Ridiculous,” he scoffed.

Shen Qingqiu grinned a little, but hid it behind a fan.

Poor Liu-shidi. The man definitely would have had a huge following if he hadn’t been killed off screen in the novel. C’mon, look at him! He’s strong, loyal, and objectively a solid ten! Heck, Shen Qingqiu would’ve bought the guy’s merch! But alas, the PIDW fanbase would never get the privilege. It was probably for the best. Those horny perverts were too busy thirsting over the hundreds of big-boobed bozos to appreciate any of the (few) good things Proud Immortal Demon Way had to offer anyways.

“Poetry.”

Shen Qingqiu was brought back from his internal pondering by the single word from Liu Qingge.

“Poetry?” Shen Qingqiu repeated.

Liu Qingge huffed through his nose in frustration, not quite looking at Shen Qingqiu.

“You have a whole shelf of poetry in your bookcase. Do you… like poetry?” Liu Qingge asked, although it looked like it pained him to do so.

Well, that hadn’t been what Shen Qingqiu was expecting.

As the Qing Jing peak lord, Shen Qingqiu was expected to have a great knowledge of all well renown literary works, including poetry. He’d spent some time catching up on the classics the Original kept in the Bamboo House when he’d first arrived, so he would at least have the basics down if someone asked. Although when he taught his students, he’d allow the disciples to pick their own poems from the library to read and dissect, which in turn forced Shen Qingqiu to read more poems as he graded.

But did he like poetry?

Let’s just say that while he was impressed by it, poetry would probably rank last in his list of ‘things to willingly read.’

“Poetry is an excellent form of literary expression,” Shen Qingqiu answered with a response so general it could be interpreted any which way.

“But do you like it?” Liu Qingge asked again, eyes searching.

Liu-shidi! Why do you insist on outing someone who prefers trashy stallion novels to deep and well constructed prose?

“What has Shidi so curious about poetry of all things?” Shen Qingqiu deflected again. Like a boss!

Liu Qingge averted his eyes, looking frustrated, making Shen Qingqiu feel a little bad. His shidi was trying so hard to discuss a topic he probably assumed Shen Qingqiu liked, and Shen Qingqiu was thwarting his efforts.

Shen Qingqiu sighed internally. Well, it wasn’t like Liu Qingge was going to go around discrediting Shen Qingqiu’s literary views anyways.

“To answer Shidi’s question, I like poetry well enough. I prefer those which don’t become too abstract though. I don’t want to spend hours trying to decipher the hidden meaning of a single line. But then again, if it’s too straight forward many complain about the simplicity. Simplicity isn’t a bad thing though! In fact, a simple poem that can convey a deeper meaning in only a few words is the best! Only a master poet can make a single sentence captivating enough to reach every member of their audience,” Shen Qingqiu accidentally rambled.

Maybe he was more passionate about poetry than he thought?

Liu Qingge said nothing, but nodded along.

Oh shit, Shen Qingqiu was making this conversation one-sided again.

“Does Liu-shidi have any thoughts on the subject?”

“Flowery words are useless, why not just say what you mean directly?” Liu Qingge answered immediately.

Shen Qingqiu hummed at the response. Liu Qingge, being the straight-shooting person he was, would of course prefer a more concrete form of writing.

“I suppose sometimes one’s feelings are too profound to express without the use of metaphors and ‘flowery language’,” Shen Qingqiu explained with a flourish of his free hand.

Liu Qingge rolled his eyes at the dramatics.

“Then actions should be used instead.”

“Aww but Liu-shidi, is it not romantic to compare one’s feelings to the stars in an endless sky? Or for the world to seem dull without the object of one’s affection at their side. Or for one’s favourite colour to mimic the robes of the fair beauty they’ve been pursuing, if only because it matched their eyes?”

Were these all examples from terrible webnovels Shen Qingqiu had consumed over the course of his life? Yes. Did he feel embarrassed spouting these cheesy lines out loud with a serious face? Also yes. Was the flustered look on Liu Qingge’s face worth Shen Qingqiu wanting to jump off the Rainbow Bridge for being the cringiest person alive?

Nope.

His Shidi’s face was red, but not as red as Shen Qingqiu’s own. Somehow Liu Qingge looked more contemplative than embarrassed, tapping the fingers not circulating Shen Qingqiu’s qi against his knee.

At least Shen Qingqiu could hide behind his true best friend. His fan.

Seriously, Shen Qingqiu had been missing out in his previous life. Fans were so versatile and could hide any emotions you wanted! You even looked classy while doing it!

“Ahaha but feel free to ignore me, Shidi. Those were just silly examples some of my disciples were discussing the other day. Many of them are quite the little romantics. You should hear how they gush over the love letters one of my senior disciples had been receiving.”

Nice save Shen Qingqiu, way to blame your trashy romance fixation on your students. When in doubt, it’s the kids’ fault.

“Love letters?” Liu Qingge said, ears bright red.

Oh? Maybe Liu Qingge was more of a secret romantic than Shen Qingqiu had thought? At least that meant the Bai Zhan Peak Lord couldn’t bully him for his own trash taste.

“Yes, the letters are very proper and quite sweet,” Shen Qingqiu admitted. “Although it’d be even better if the letters weren’t signed.”

Ah yes, the anonymous love letter trope, a classic. So much mystery mixed with sweet words that touch the heart, ending in a climax where it was the person by their side all along! But this was reality, so Shen Qingqiu supposed signing the letter was much more practical. It detracted from the drama and frantic search for the secret admirer, but that was life.

There was a beat of silence, filled only with Shen Qingqiu waving his fan lightly while Liu Qingge looked like he was solving advanced mathematics in his head.

“I see,” Liu Qingge said eventually, like he’d cracked some kind of code.

Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure what his Shidi had figured out, but before he could ask Liu Qingge was releasing his wrist and getting to his feet.

“Is Shidi leaving so soon?” Shen Qingqiu asked, feeling a twinge of disappointment.

Relaxing with Liu Qingge was much more enjoyable than some of the obligations on his agenda after all.

“I have duties to attend to,” Liu Qingge replied.

“Of course, of course,” Shen Qingqiu nodded. “Well, thank you for your help as always.”

Liu Qingge waved off the thanks, making his way to the door. He opened it without the least bit of finesse, like a man on a mission.

And just like that he was off, pausing for only a moment to nod at Shen Qingqiu in goodbye, leaving the Qing Jing peak lord to wonder whether the slight quirk of the other man’s lips had been some trick of the light.

Now alone, Shen Qingqiu thought back to all the romance bullshit he’d just spewed and groaned loudly.

This was why he’d been a social recluse in his previous life. At least it’d only been Liu-shidi to hear such embarrassing things. He’s not sure what he would have done if someone else had heard him. Probably yeeted himself off the mountain.

Taking a peek out his window, Shen Qingqiu caught sight of some disciples painting in the sun, fussing over little artistic details. Many of them were packing up their canvasses and brushes though, scurrying in the direction of the training grounds. It was probably time for lessons soon.

So, with a stretch of his muscles and an internal check over his qi, Shen Qingqiu adjusted himself back into full Peak Lord aloofness and prepared for the rest of the afternoon.

It was only a day later that Shen Qingqiu discovered the next of the strange notes he’d been receiving, this one quite different than the first two. This one didn’t seem to involve Shen Qingqiu in the slightest, being vague in a whole new way.

It didn’t fill Shen Qingqiu with any form of dread, instead making him feel only confused at the statement.

‘Green is my favourite colour now.’

…

Well, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t argue with the mystery note.

He liked green as well.

***

Liu Qingge had seriously considered stopping after the first two letters.

He’d stared at blank pages well into the night, focusing and willing words onto the surface. What words? He had no idea. Mingyan had given him suggestions and examples but none of them had felt right. Time that could have been used to meditate or train, Liu Qingge had spent crumpling up half finished sentences about nothing at all.

In the end, he’d chosen to be direct. Liu Qingge had written exactly what he thought in regard to his own feelings, regardless of any laws of poetry. No filler and no tangents. The words were straightforward but got his point across.

He initially wasn’t sure what Shen Qingqiu would think, but the Qing Jing Peak Lord had said he favoured simple forms of poetry when they’d talked, so Liu Qingge felt reassured that the letters must be coming across well. Mingyan really had known what she was talking about.

The offer of courtship was there alongside his mediocre calligraphy, of course. Not stated as directly as the words themselves, but the implication was obvious enough for anyone to pick up on.

Liu Qingge still flustered at the thought.

Courtship. With Shen Qingqiu…

He’d denied it before, but now even the thought of the man made his heart beat so fast it hurt. The idea of potentially holding and kissing the beautiful Qing Jing Peak Lord even more so.

To have the monopoly over the half-hidden smiles and gentle yet playful words. To be able to show up and simply be with Shen Qingqiu without using the other’s forgetfulness as an excuse.

Liu Qingge wanted it. He wanted it so much that he marvelled over how he hadn’t noticed before.

And he wanted Shen Qingqiu to want him in turn. Wanted Shen Qingqiu to see him. To choose him.

He wouldn’t change himself to gain the favour of anyone. He would stay true to his beliefs and forge his way with his own ideals. Protect the home he’d found and continue the life he’d built.

But if Shen Qingqiu liked useless poetry, and thought anonymous letters were the best way to show one’s affections… he could try for a bit longer.

He’d already started, hadn’t he?

And the Bai Zhan War God wasn’t one to give up halfway.

Chapter Text

With the note count at three, Shen Qingqiu decided finding the identity of the sender wasn’t something he could put off any longer. Especially since it didn’t seem like the strange person was going to stop anytime soon.

Shen Qingqiu had started his investigation feeling rather good. Being the Peak Lord of Qing Jing, he had access to copies of essays and other writing assignments from all his disciples, making it a simple task to go through each one’s handwriting and comparing it to that of the anonymous letters.

Shen Qingqiu had felt confident in his strategy, priding himself in being able to pick up on the nuances in each individual student’s script. This confidence diminished the more he scrambled through each student’s work, and after a week Shen Qingqiu’s self-assurance was dead.

No one matched the anonymous sender’s handwriting. The majority of his students had superb calligraphy skills, giving them a finesse that the mystery sender didn’t seem to possess. Even someone like Binghe, who hadn’t known how to write prior to joining the peak, had a lighter touch than the large heavy-handed words found in the notes.

It had occurred to Shen Qingqiu that the sender could be purposefully writing differently to throw off their trail. So he’d looked into the writing that looked the least similar as well!

But… well he couldn’t really imagine Ming Fan, the embodiment of a teacher’s pet, sending Shen Qingqiu notes complaining about his teaching. Oh, and to inform Shen Qingqiu that he liked green apparently.

None of it made sense.

So the investigation was put on temporary hold while Shen Qingqiu did his actual job.

Knocking on Mu Qingfang’s office door stationed just off the main infirmary, Shen Qingqiu waited patiently while he heard some shuffling from behind the door.

He wasn’t left waiting long before the door was opened, with a serene but tired looking Mu Qingfang smiling welcomingly at him.

“Shen-shixiong, this one wasn’t expecting you,” Mu Qingfang said, looking Shen Qingqiu over quickly as if searching for injuries.

“Apologies Mu-shidi, this one forgot to send word ahead of time. It is nothing serious, my peak is simply running low on emergency herbs and bandages in our travel kits, so this Shixiong has come by to restock,” Shen Qingqiu explained.

“This one is surprised Shixiong came himself instead of sending a disciple,” Mu Qingfang said, but opened the door a little wider to let Shen Qingqiu enter.

“This one considered it, but thought it best to come myself since I also wished to discuss a potential project."

"Oh? And what is this project?" Mu Qingfang asked.

"This master was hoping to implement a garden for medical herbs and other plants on Qing Jing. The disciples should find it beneficial in identifying species in the wild, as well as a greater appreciation for the versatile uses of plants.”

Did Shen Qingqiu just want a garden filled with cool plants? Maybe.

Sure, plants weren’t as cool as animals or beasts, but they were still magical here! And who wouldn’t want a garden with flowers that danced if there was sufficient sunlight, or grass that changed colour based on the temperature outside!

The sparkle in Mu Qingfang’s eyes meant Shen Qingqiu wasn’t the only one interested in the idea.

“A very interesting concept Shixiong. This one believes—”

A single knock followed by the door flying open interrupted the healer’s thoughts.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Liu Qingge, with two disciples in his grip looking worse for wear. The boy to Liu Qingge’s right looked nauseous and was clutching weakly at his stomach, whereas the girl to his left had an arm that was definitely not supposed to bend that way.

“Liu-shixiong,” Mu Qingfang greeted with an exasperated expression. “Another sparring incident?”

“Yes,” Liu Qingge confirmed succinctly, before seeming to notice Shen Qingqiu’s presence. He raised a questioning brow which Shen Qingqiu returned with a small wave.

“Only two this time?” Mu Qingfang asked, looking tired.

“Three. There’s a third already waiting in the infirmary,” Liu Qingge informed.

Shen Qingqiu winced a little at the pained expressions on the disciples’ faces, not that this was uncommon in the least.

Mu Qingfang offered Shen Qingqiu an apologetic look and a promise to continue this conversation soon, before escorting the disciples to the infirmary.

Liu Qingge lagged behind, looking almost uncertain about whether to follow or not.

“You probably don’t need to break their bones to teach your disciples swordsmanship, Liu-shidi,” Shen Qingqiu said eventually when Liu Qingge continued to hover in the doorway.

Liu Qingge scoffed.

“They were sparring each other, I was informed of the incident later,” Liu Qingge said. “And they’re Bai Zhan disciples, they can take it.”

Shen Qingqiu offered a silent prayer to the members of the fighting obsessed peak. He sent another to Mu Qingfang who was constantly dealing with them.

“Even if they can take it, it is best to avoid injuries when possible,” Shen Qingqiu pointed out.

“Training hard leads to injuries, it can’t be avoided.”

“True, but there must be a way to reduce the number of them.”

“The disciples don’t mind,” Liu Qingge sounded like he was speaking from experience. “They’ll get hurt less as they improve.”

C’mon Shidi, there must be some way to keep these children from beating each other bloody every other week!

“Perhaps better protective equipment may help?” Shen Qingqiu suggested, but immediately realized the impracticality of the idea as he verbalized it. A cultivator sporting heavy armour would lose both movement and grace after all.

“And what? Wrap each disciple in an armadillo-tortoise shell before sending them out to battle?” Liu Qingge snorted at the prospect. “Actually, you would wrap your little brats up in shells if you could get away with it.”

Shen Qingqiu, unprepared for his shidi to make such a joke, found himself sporting a smile.

Shen Qingqiu immediately visualized a bunch of disciples wrapped in obscene amounts of protective layers topped with a turtle shell, like when new parents are scared of their kid catching a cold, but the disciples were all trying to wield swords with their stubby arms.

Then he pictured Liu Qingge in the same attire and found himself in a mess of giggles.

He laughed a little too hard from the mental image alone, only coming back to himself after a particularly loud snort had left him.

Snatching a fan at the speed of light and hiding as much of his face as he could, Shen Qingqiu wiped a single tear from his eye, feeling embarrassed.

Composure and aloofness? Where did they go? He was so well practiced too!

How dare you make a joke Liu-shidi! Don’t you know your shixiong has a reputation?

“Apologies for that, Shidi,” Shen Qingqiu coughed.

He peered over his fan just enough to see Liu Qingge’s shocked expression, paired with crimson ears. He couldn’t blame Liu Qingge either. It would definitely be a shock to see Shen Qingqiu of all people being undignified enough to giggle and snort.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Liu Qingge muttered.

He said something else as well, but Shen Qingqiu didn’t quite catch it.

He did breathe a sigh of relief at the reassurance though. Liu Qingge looked surprised but not disgusted at the open display of emotion, rather than the mask he wore all the time.

It was… kind of nice to laugh openly for once. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t realized how long it’d been since he’d loosened the tight grip over himself like that.

Not that he was planning to do it ever again.

“Who knew Liu-shidi had a sense of humour hidden away,” Shen Qingqiu commented lightly.

“It wasn’t that funny,” Liu Qingge crossed his arms.

“I suppose I just was not expecting it.”

Shen Qingqiu’s lingering smile was still hidden behind his fan, with only his eyes giving any indication of his lighthearted expression.

There was a beat of silence, an unknown feeling in the air.

“Shen Qingqiu…” Liu Qingge broke through it. “Could you…?”

Shen Qingqiu raised a brow at the question, and even more so at his Shidi’s red face.

Liu Qingge began to reach toward the fan in Shen Qingqiu’s hand, goal unknown to Shen Qingqiu, who remained still, heart beating quickly for some reason.

He eyed Liu Qingge’s hand as it moved in almost slow motion, fingertips getting close enough to brush against the paper of the fan and then…

“Shen-shixiong, Liu-shixiong, sorry to keep you both waiting,” Mu Qingfang called as he re-entered his office.

Liu Qingge had already pulled away and retreated by the time Mu Qingfang could spot them.

“A-ah, no worries Shidi, this one knows you are busy,” Shen Qingqiu assured when Liu Qingge said nothing.

Shit, what was that? Was he having an allergic reaction to something in this room? Was that why it was so hot?

Well either way, with Mu Qingfang back, Shen Qingqiu schooled his expression back to one of neutrality, not thinking about whatever Liu Qingge had been doing. His fan probably just had some dirt on it and his shidi was brushing it off. No need for such an over the top reaction Shen Qingqiu!

“Liu-shixiong, your disciples are currently being treated by some of mine if you wish to check on them. And Shen-shixiong, I should have some time now to continue our discussion,” Mu Qingfang said.

Shen Qingqiu and Liu Qingge nodded, with Liu Qingge setting off rather quickly (probably to check in on his disciples), while Shen Qingqiu took a seat across from Mu Qingfang. He sat straight and offered Mu Qingfang a polite smile as the healer began naming plants he felt beneficial for student knowledge.

Their discussion was fruitful, even with Shen Qingqiu feeling like his head was in the clouds sometimes. By the end they had a tentative plan for the beginnings of an academic garden.

The conversation was pretty easy, professional in nature but the topic was a point of interest between the two of them.

Mu Qingfang definitely ranked near the top of easiest peak lords to talk to. Above Yue Qingyuan and Wei Qingwei for sure. It was tight between him and Qi Qingqi, whose gossip always had Shen Qingqiu enthralled. But then both Qi Qingqi and Mu Qingfang were under Liu Qingge.

Wait.

Since when had Liu Qingge become the person he was most comfortable around? Things had been so awkward at the beginning. Though, they probably did spend the most time together, so it must be the familiarity that made things easy nowadays.

Did this mean…

Were he and Liu Qingge bros now?

Ah, that probably explained the strangeness earlier. Shen Qingqiu hadn’t realized they’d reached friendship status and was taken off guard.

Shen Qingqiu felt relieved about the revelation, and even a little peppy as he got back home.

Relieved until he was face to face with another note, on the floor right when he entered his home, like it’d been slid under the door.

This one wasn’t even folded, words face-up for Shen Qingqiu to read right away.

‘Don’t hide your face.’

Shen Qingqiu gulped at the unnerving words, this one sending a shiver up his spine the others hadn’t.

The investigation for the note sender quickly jumped to the top of his priority list.

Time for a new plan.

***

“Binghe, this master needs your help with something,” Shen Qingqiu said casually the next morning over breakfast.

His disciple practically started vibrating in his seat across from Shen Qingqiu.

“Of course, Shizun! This one would be honoured to help,” Binghe nodded excitedly.

Shen Qingqiu sighed internally. This child was so eager to please, he hadn’t even asked what he would be doing.

“This teacher is grateful for Binghe’s assistance, but does not wish for Binghe to prioritize this task over his studies,” Shen Qingqiu reminded the bright-eyed boy.

“This disciple will make sure to fulfill all of Shizun’s expectations!”

With Binghe’s affirmation, Shen Qingqiu pulled one of the notes out of his sleeve and passed it across the table to his disciple.

Binghe took it delicately, careful not to wrinkle the paper. His brow furrowed in confusion as he read the single sentence inscribed upon it. The boy opened his mouth to ask about the letter, but Shen Qingqiu began to explain before Binghe could apologize for not understanding.

“As of late, this master has been finding anonymous letters addressed to himself in his home. This master did not think much of them at first, but they have been persistent, and now this master wishes to find the sender.”

Binghe’s eyes glistened in understanding, but his mouth formed a thin line.

“And these notes have been bothering Shizun?” Binghe sounded almost angry on his behalf.

What a protagonist! Truly one to strive for justice!

“It is more that this master finds himself perplexed by the contents and wishes for an explanation,” Shen Qingqiu replied.

This was true. It was also true that being told to ‘not hide his face’ had him feeling a bit on edge. Not that he showed Binghe that note and had instead handed over the one regarding the colour green.

The latest note had almost convinced Shen Qingqiu to ask his martial siblings for assistance. Well, until he remembered how overprotective some of them could be, and how inconsequential the letters were overall. The Sect had better things to do than hunt down some extremely opinionated disciple suffering from anxiety and an inability to convey an understandable message.

“Shizun need not worry! This disciple will find the perpetrator and bring them before Shizun!” Binghe announced.

“Good, good. Thanking Binghe for his help,” Shen Qingqiu patted Binghe’s head in thanks, earning him a smile.

With that, Binghe got to his feet and bowed, collecting the dishes and preparing himself for the rest of the day. In turn, Shen Qingqiu set about to fulfill his daily duties, with some extra meditation planned since he’d been slacking in that area recently.

Emptying one’s mind is a difficult task with a mystery afoot. Maybe he was missing a magical talking dog that would unmask the janitor and put the case to rest. Although the closest thing to a janitor in Shen Qingqiu’s home was Binghe (that thought had Shen Qingqiu wincing), and he knew for a fact that this couldn’t be Luo Binghe.

Binghe, who over explained every aspect of his reports and went nearly over the word limit on every essay, would never leave vague notes around the house. Not to mention the writing wasn’t even close.

And why were the notes so distracting and stressful anyways? Clearly Shen Qingqiu was overreacting, but it was getting to him. None of this happened in the original novel! Or… or maybe it did? But Binghe never knew about it so it was left as subtext? That made no sense though!

Well, with the protagonist halo in action now, hopefully this would be over soon.

And so Shen Qingqiu went about his day, silently hoping Binghe would succeed where Shen Qingqiu had failed.

However, when dinnertime came and Binghe returned with a dejected look and a plethora of apologies for failing, Shen Qingqiu simply ensured it was fine and not a time sensitive task before sending the boy off to cook dinner.

Sitting down at his desk to write up the preliminary report on the garden he and Mu Qingfang were putting together, Shen Qingqiu ended up staring at a blank page. To make matters worse, Shen Qingqiu could feel the beginning of a headache coming on.

Deciding nothing was going to get done right now, Shen Qingqiu got to his feet.

“This master is going out to get some fresh air,” Shen Qingqiu announced. “If Binghe is hungry he is free to eat before I return.”

Binghe peaked in from the kitchen.

“This disciple will gladly wait,” he said.

Shen Qingqiu waved to him as he exited the bamboo house.

He didn’t really have a destination in mind, but the evening air wasn’t too cool so there wasn’t a rush.

His feet took him to the bamboo forest, where Shen Qingqiu weaved himself through the tall stalks. The sounds of a tranquil forest were so different than the loud city he’d known all his life, but he’d been here long enough that the chirping of bugs and swishing of leaves in the breeze were now familiar as well.

It was nice, he realized, to take a step back from everything and just take the world in. Nice to let his thoughts remain in the present and what was around him right now, instead of what the future had prepared for him.

He came upon a stream, which made him frown. Shen Qingqiu didn’t recognize this stream, or any of his surroundings now that he looked around. Oops, seems like he’d gone a bit further than he’d meant to on his little escapade. It was getting pretty dark out too, wasn’t it?

“Shen Qingqiu?”

The unexpected newcomer startled him nearly enough to trip into the water.

“What the—Liu-shidi?” Shen Qingqiu sputtered in shock, watching his shidi descend off his sword and onto the ground behind him.

There’s no way he could have wandered all the way to Bai Zhan! He was the calm and calculating peak lord of Qing Jing, not some airhead!

“What are you doing?” Liu Qingge beat him to the exact question he was about to ask.

“I was just on a walk,” Shen Qingqiu explained. “What about you, Shidi?”

Liu Qingge stood a little stiffly, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Was flying back to Bai Zhan after a hunt, saw you wandering around all the way out here, came to investigate,” Liu Qingge shrugged, like it was the obvious thing to do.

“Liu-shidi was making sure I was okay?”

What a devout martial brother! How had he not noticed their friendship was this strong until now?

“Only because you looked like a lost child,” Liu Qingge retorted.

Shen Qingqiu took it back. His shidi was truly terrible. A horrible, cruel man who had only come to mock him.

And ah! Was that a teasing look on Liu-shidi’s face? No fair! Shen Qingqiu was the only one allowed to tease between the two of them!

“Shidi can laugh all he wants, but I know exactly what I’m doing. Can this shixiong not enjoy the evening air on his own peak?” Shen Qingqiu titled his chin up to give off an air of intelligence.

“We’re not on Qing Jing,” Liu Qingge stated.

Well… fuck.

“Cang Qiong is as much my home as Qing Jing,” Shen Qingqiu said with an awkward laugh. “Besides, there is no reason that I can’t appreciate the beauty the rest of the mountain has to offer this time of night.”

Good save! Pat on the back for you, Shen Qingqiu.

And just to prove his point, Shen Qingqiu stepped closer to the stream, taking in the way some of the pebbles in the water glowed under the night sky.

Even Liu Qingge looked lighter under the moonlight; less severe and more peaceful.

“I didn’t know you liked the evening so much,” Liu Qingge remarked, sounding genuinely curious.

“Day and night both have their merits,” Shen Qingqiu nodded. “But I suppose I enjoy that there are less expectations at night. It’s calming that way.”

The utter honesty in Shen Qingqiu’s words caught even himself by surprise. He coughed a little to hide his awkwardness.

“What about you, Shidi? Day or night?” Shen Qingqiu asked.

“Night,” was the immediate answer.

“Oh? And why is that?”

“There are stronger beasts to hunt at night, gives me more of a challenge,” Liu Qingge responded seriously.

Shen Qingqiu snorted because, well, he wasn’t sure what else he’d expected.

“As expected of Liu-shidi, although I cannot disagree with you. Nocturnal beasts do have many interesting attributes that you can’t find elsewhere,” Shen Qingqiu added.

“It makes you have to rely on senses other than just sight,” Liu Qingge expanded. “Nocturnal beasts will always have the upper hand in night vision.”

Shen Qingqiu hummed in agreement.

“Wait… is that why you spar blindfolded with your disciples?” he asked, thinking back to when he’d come across the strange scene a month ago.

“Of course,” Liu Qingge said. “Why did you think we were doing it?”

“I thought it was just cruel and unusual punishment! Or maybe an escape strategy if one were to get kidnapped.”

“I would never let myself get kidnapped!” Liu Qingge argued.

“I never said that. Of course Shidi is much too strong to ever be caught like that,” Shen Qingqiu laughed at how defensive Liu Qingge sounded.

“Good,” Liu Qingge huffed, appearing almost as if he was puffing out his chest a little.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that.

The croaking of frogs filled the evening quiet, as did the sound of water washing against stone. The stream was probably freezing but Shen Qingqiu had a strange urge to reach down and run his hand through it.

This was nice. There really were no expectations out here at night. Shen Qingqiu could probably stay out here a bit longer, but it was getting rather late.

He peeked over at Liu Qingge, who was still here for reasons unknown.

The other man wasn’t looking at Shen Qingqiu, but at his own feet instead. In the dark Shen Qingqiu couldn’t make out his full expression, only the placement of his facial features.

It was a bit strange for Liu Qingge to continue to keep him company, but Shen Qingqiu found he didn’t mind. In fact, it was very welcome.

Spending time with a friend, with Liu Qingge, was something he realized he enjoyed very much. Liu Qingge in all his endearing awkwardness and blunt opinions, but always obliging in his attitude toward Shen Qingqiu. It left Shen Qingqiu breathless sometimes, if only because the much too pretty War God was supposed to hate him.

But Liu Qingge didn’t hate him. Liu Qingge didn’t hate him and was even choosing to spend time with Shen Qingqiu of his own free will. No obligations toward Shen Qingqiu’s health, no returning a fan out of a sense of duty. Just the two of them standing and conversing under the stars.

Shen Qingqiu almost wished they could stand a little closer, only so he could get a better view of the expressions Liu Qingge made, illuminated by the light of the moon.

As one would do with any bro, of course.

It was actually getting late though, and Shen Qingqiu was going to worry Binghe half to death if he stayed out all night.

But maybe they could do something like this again? Just a casual hangout? Would Liu Qingge like that as well?

It was worth asking.

“Liu-shidi—”

“Shen Qingqiu—”

The two spoke at the same time.

“Go ahead, Liu-shidi,” Shen Qingqiu offered. The poor guy probably wanted to go home and sleep, Shen Qingqiu could make his invitation the next time they spoke.

Liu Qingge immediately clamped his mouth shut, then opened it wordlessly a few times searching for the right words. Shen Qingqiu waited patiently.

“Did you… do you like… have you been receiving the—” Liu Qingge cut himself off with a noise of frustration.

Shen Qingqiu watched in confusion as Liu Qingge kicked a nearby rock into the stream, fists clenched and face almost… pouting? No, he’s probably seeing things wrong in the dark. Cultivator night vision is good but not that good.

“You go first,” Liu Qingge said instead.

Shen Qingqiu raised a brow but didn’t argue.

“Ah, I was just going to ask if you wanted to go on an outing with me next week?” he offered.

There, no pressure, just casual friend stuff.

“Like a mission?” Liu Qingge pinched his brow.

“No, no, just to spend time together, if you wanted to. You know, for fun,” Shen Qingqiu clarified.

Why did he phrase it like that? What did Liu Qingge even do for fun? How was--

“Yes.”

“Yes?” Shen Qingqiu repeated like he’d misheard.

“Yes, I’ll go with you.”

Oh.

Well, that was easy.

“Great! We can discuss the details later,” Shen Qingqiu smiled.

Liu Qingge nodded in an almost robotic fashion, like the man was moving on autopilot. He stood just as stiffly as a robot as well, aside from his fingers which were twitching slightly.

Shen Qingqiu took pity on his shidi, who must be itching to get back to Bai Zhan.

“Well, it’s getting late and this shixiong should be returning home,” Shen Qingqiu announced. “I’ll come by Bai Zhan soon so we can make plans.”

With that, along with Shen Qingqiu briefly persuading Liu Qingge that he didn’t need an escort or directions back to his own peak, the two went their separate ways.

Shen Qingqiu felt a little giddy. He was going on a one-on-one hangout with Liu Qingge!

Should he wear something more casual? Did he need to bring anything? There were some little villages at the base of the mountain that Shen Qingqiu hadn’t visited yet. That might be fun!

Shen Qingqiu’s brain came to a halt, face flushing a deep red.

Why was he treating this like a date? Acting like some maiden who had just asked out their crush! No, no, this was two guys going out and palling around like bros. Because that’s what it was.

How else could you mistake one man asking another to spend more time together under the faint glow of the moon, while the glimmer of the stars reflected against his (illegally) handsome friend’s (too perfect) features? Only an idiot would misunderstand, especially since Liu Qingge was like the straightest man Shen Qingqiu knew! Or at least just as straight as himself! Binghe was probably the overall winner, being the stallion protagonist and all, but that was beside the point.

These thoughts dissolved as soon as he returned home, greeted by a teary-eyed Binghe who was fussing and worrying that Shen Qingqiu had been attacked or something.

After some reassurance that he had just lost track of time, Shen Qingqiu sent Binghe off to get ready for bed, planning to follow suit soon as well.

He remembered briefly, as he settled himself in his room for the evening, that he’d forgotten to ask Liu Qingge what he was going to say before.

Well, if it was important, Shen Qingqiu was sure Liu Qingge would tell him eventually.

Chapter Text

“Brother, are you sure I can’t take a look at the note?”

Liu Qingge leveled his sister with a look in warning.

“I’m only trying to help,” Liu Mingyan sighed.

Knowing his sister’s fondness for gossip had him doubting that helping him was the only reason Liu Mingyan was here.

Although he did owe his sister for this whole courtship plan.

The letters were a pain, but Liu Qingge tentatively thought that things were going… well.

Shen Qingqiu hadn’t verbally accepted Liu Qingge’s courtship gifts, or even brought them up, but Shen Qingqiu had proposed for them to spend more time together, just the two of them. Offered like it was the easiest thing in the world. Offered like there was somehow a possibility that Liu Qingge would refuse him. Offered like the man didn’t resemble an ethereal being in the glow of the night, far and beyond the most beautiful thing Liu Qingge had ever seen.

And then Shen Qingqiu, already glowing brighter than any of the stars, had smiled at him. Liu Qingge wasn’t sure how he’d even kept functioning after that.

So if writing a few sentences could get Shen Qingqiu to continue to smile like that, he’d write them as long as Shen Qingqiu desired.

This wasn’t to say Liu Qingge didn’t still struggle with the whole thing. His desk felt like his worst enemy and there were now permanent ink stains on his floor. There were still loose papers littering his home, so many in fact, that at one point he’d actually gone to Shang Qinghua requesting more paper for Bai Zhan. With the way Shang Qinghua’s face had glazed over, one would think his soul had left his body. A warning hand on Cheng Luan had quickly broken the An Ding Peak Lord from his trance.

“How about you just let me look at this letter, and I won’t ask anymore in the future,” Liu Mingyan tried again, holding the most recent note Liu Qingge had written in her hands.

Liu Mingyan, like she was now, kept offering to proofread and help compose the ideal romantic poem. Up until now he had refused every time, with Mingyan’s involvement being solely in the delivery of the confounded things.

“Why do you want to see them so badly?” Liu Qingge questioned, crossing him arms.

“As I’ve explained, I wish to help. Although it would be a lie that simple curiosity doesn’t factor in,” Mingyan admitted. “My brother is putting in such efforts after all; I would like to see the fruits of such labour.”

“It won’t change anything,” Liu Qingge said, as he was firmly against re-writing the letter he’d already completed.

“True, but I don’t wish to make you change anything. I simply wish to see what you have been writing and perhaps give a word or two of advice for the future if you so desire,” Liu Mingyan explained.

Liu Qingge considered it, pushing down the reflex to refuse immediately. But then his sister’s eyes turned to something so close to pleading that Liu Qingge paused.

He cared for his sister’s opinion, but at the same time the two of them had vastly different views on this sort of thing. And since Shen Qingqiu seemed to like his way of doing this, advice seemed unnecessary.

On the other hand, there was no harm in Mingyan reading one of them. It wouldn’t be to her taste, but that didn’t matter to him. She did say she’d stop asking if he allowed her to read this one. Not to mention he owed her this much for coming up with the idea to begin with.

“You can read it if you spend tomorrow training with me,” Liu Qingge ended up saying.

If she was going to give him advice to help improve his writing, then he was going to help her improve her swordsmanship.

“Deal,” Mingyan agreed enthusiastically.

Liu Qingge nodded, watching as his sister opened the page in her hand and read the words written there.

He continued to watch as Mingyan’s expression went through a variety of emotions. She initially scrunched her brow as if confused, followed by what might have been a flash of realization, ending in her looking a little pale.

“This… have all your letters been like this one?” Mingyan asked after a brief pause.

“What do you mean?” Liu Qingge asked.

“So… short and… to the point,” Mingyan explained slowly.

“They’ve all been this length,” Liu Qingge nodded.

Mingyan somehow paled more at that.

He wasn’t too surprised. From what he’d read of his sister’s writing, she preferred detailed and drawn-out descriptions of everything and anything. To her, this was not up to standard. She would just have to learn to accept it though.

“And Shen-shibo understands what you’re trying to say?” Liu Mingyan asked.

“Of course he does,” Liu Qingge responded, a bit confused by the question.

What else could it mean other than what was directly written there?

“You’re sure?” she asked again.

“Yes.”

“I see…” Mingyan had an unreadable expression on her face.

Liu Mingyan read the letter again, opening her mouth to say something before changing her mind.

Liu Qingge waited, but when his sister continued to stay silent, he grew impatient.

“Do you have something to say about it or not?”

Liu Mingyan neatly folded the letter back up.

“Well… as long as Shen-shibo likes them, I don’t think there’s any advice I can give you,” she said, though she seemed uncertain as she spoke.

Liu Qingge felt a flutter in his chest at the words anyways.

That’s right, as long as Shen Qingqiu liked them that’s all that mattered. And with how much more the Qing Jing Peak lord had been smiling around him lately, Liu Qingge liked to believe that this was the case.

It made him that much more determined when he sent Mingyan off to deliver the newest letter.

And though his sister hesitated one last time before taking off to make her delivery, Liu Qingge didn’t hesitate as he returned home to write another.

***

‘I want to see you more.’

Shen Qingqiu side-eyed the newest note in his growing collection with irritation.

Binghe had been the one to find this particular letter three days ago, only begrudgingly presenting it to Shen Qingqiu when he’d asked how the investigation with Ning Yingying and Ming Fan was going.

That’s right, Shen Qingqiu had expanded his task force to three disciples after receiving a different note with only the word ‘Pretty’ on it a week ago.

Pretty what? Pretty scummy? Pretty soon was going to be murdered by an anonymous note writer?

Clearly this wasn’t a two-person job. So naturally Ming Fan and Ning Yingying were filled in on the situation and were both ecstatic to help. Ecstatic for different reasons probably (Ning Yingying had stars in her eyes reading the notes for some reason?), but both very committed to getting to the bottom of this.

Sadly, the larger group of investigators hadn’t helped thus far, with no real progress in finding the perpetrator. It was starting to look less and less like someone from Qing Jing had been sending the notes, but Shen Qingqiu didn’t know the disciples of the other peaks well enough to guess who would put in the time to pull off this strange prank.

And so here Shen Qingqiu was, throwing stink eyes at the newest note like it had personally offended him.

Which it had!

This one was extra creepy, okay? It put Shen Qingqiu so on edge he’d hardly slept the night he’d received it. He’d been this close to destroying it, but kept it as evidence along with the rest.

Not only was the note weird, but it made the overall message impossible to understand! Apparently Shen Qingqiu caused the sender pain and was annoyingly distracting, but they wanted to see him? The only conclusion Shen Qingqiu could come to was that they had a plan for him that he very much had no interest in.

He was starting to get paranoid too, feeling jumpy whenever he saw a piece of paper lying around. What kind of high-level cultivator was scared of parchment?

Shen Qingqiu sunk forward until his head was resting on his desk, groaning in annoyance. At least the disciples’ lessons were being run by hallmasters today, so Shen Qingqiu had some time to ponder his choices. Or sit in a slump of self-pity. Both were good options.

A single deafening knock at his door had Shen Qingqiu sitting up so quickly he banged his knee against the table, yelping instinctively at the impact.

The door opened milliseconds before Shen Qingqiu gritted out the words “come in,” revealing a battle-ready Liu Qingge in the doorway.

“What happened?” Liu Qingge demanded, surveying the room for danger.

“Nothing, nothing,” Shen Qingqiu assured. “This shixiong was just startled by Shidi’s knocking. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“Are you injured?”

“This one is fine, Shidi. Really, nothing is wrong.”

Liu Qingge raised a skeptical brow, but sheathed his blade after finding nothing suspicious in the room, relaxing his tense posture as well. Man, Shen Qingqiu must have made a really pathetic noise for his shidi to look so worried.

“Are you busy?” Liu Qingge asked out of nowhere.

Shen Qingqiu blinked up at the man.

“This one can always make time if Liu-shidi needs his help,” Shen Qingqiu offered.

He felt a wave of warmth wash over him. Liu Qingge was so independent that it was unheard of for him to seek out anyone of his own volition, whether it be for personal or peak-related reasons. It made Shen Qingqiu absurdly happy that Liu Qingge had come to him of all people.

While he was busy feeling giddy over Liu Qingge’s arrival, the War God himself had momentarily shut down at Shen Qingqiu’s words, with his ears nearly releasing steam as he processed the statement.

“What does Shidi need help with?” Shen Qingqiu asked after a beat.

Liu Qingge continued to stare for a long enough time to be considered uncomfortable, but Shen Qingqiu didn’t mind waiting.

“You wanted to… go somewhere… together?” Liu Qingge finally spoke.

Go somewhere?

Shen Qingqiu opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but closed it as he pieced things together.

Of course! Liu Qingge was following up about their hangout! Liu Qingge had even taken the time to seek Shen Qingqiu out himself instead of waiting for Shen Qingqiu!

Shen Qingqiu found he didn’t have the strength to stop the smile that overtook his face.

“I’m so glad Liu-shidi remembered! I actually heard about some nearby villages hosting travelling performing troupes this week. Oh, or there are some ruins hidden behind a waterfall not too far down the mountain that are rumoured to be a spectacular sight. We could set off after I—”

But Shen Qingqiu halted his excited ramblings when a certain something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye.

The ‘I want to see you more’ note lay right next to Shen Qingqiu’s foot where he sat. The cursed thing must have fallen off his table when he banged his knee earlier. It lay motionless and almost out of sight, mocking Shen Qingqiu silently.

It also brought Shen Qingqiu’s priorities back into focus.

He couldn’t spend the day with Liu Qingge while the note problem was still ongoing. Not if he wanted to get a proper sleep without fearing that the sender was going to finally crack and just murder him in the night.

Shen Qingqiu sighed sadly.

“—Actually Shidi, today probably isn’t the best for me,” Shen Qingqiu said.

He really felt bad about the whole thing. Poor Liu Qingge. This had all stemmed from Shen Qingqiu’s suggestion and now he was the one cancelling. But more than that, Shen Qingqiu just really wanted to go.

The disappointment was probably visible on his face.

Liu Qingge frowned.

“Because of your paperwork?” Liu Qingge asked, saying ‘paperwork’ like it was his least favourite word.

Actually it probably was, knowing Liu Qingge’s extreme hatred for bureaucratic desk work. No one liked filling out useless forms, despite it being necessary for running a sect, but Liu Qingge hated it more than most. Bai Zhan truly suited him.

“This shixiong has some proposals to work through, as well as a side project that has been taking a lot of time to finish,” Shen Qingqiu explained.

Side project being the professional way of saying, ‘finding the person sending me concerning private messages.’

Wait… was Shen Qingqiu getting the xianxia equivalent of cyber-bullied?

“It feels like I’ve been stuck to this desk for the last three days,” Shen Qingqiu added with an awkward laugh.

Please stop making that angry face Liu-shidi, this Shen Qingqiu doesn’t want to keep doing any of this either. If not for his magical cultivator body Shen Qingqiu would have surely cramped up from sitting like this for so long.

“Do they need to be done today?” Liu Qingge asked, taking a quick glance at the papers strewn across Shen Qingqiu’s desk.

“Ah, well the deadlines aren’t today, but—”

Shen Qingqiu didn’t get to finish his sentence.

As soon as those words had left his mouth, Liu Qingge had stomped toward him and grabbed his wrist, hoisting him to his feet.

“Liu-shidi!” Shen Qingqiu squawked in shock.

But Liu Qingge was either not listening or outright ignoring him. He pulled Shen Qingqiu by the wrist, leading them toward the front door and out of the house.

Shen Qingqiu, who had been following along while he processed the abruptness of everything, finally stood his ground when the door shut behind him.

“Liu-shidi, what are you doing!?” Shen Qingqiu demanded.

Liu Qingge did stop this time, but didn’t turn around to meet Shen Qingqiu’s eyes. The hand on Shen Qingqiu’s wrist loosened its grip, but didn’t let go.

“We’re going out,” Liu Qingge stated.

Shen Qingqiu sputtered at the wording, even more so when he caught the stares of some nearby disciples.

“W-wha—But Liu-shidi, my work…” Shen Qingqiu argued, but even he could hear the lack of resistance in his words.

And who could blame him! Not when someone had just said… that! And while he was holding Shen Qingqiu’s hand as well!

Shen Qingqiu wished he could at least see his shidi’s face. At least then he’d be able to tell if Liu Qingge had caught the double-meaning in his own words. Liu-shidi, people were going to misunderstand your intentions!

“Your work doesn’t need to be finished today,” Liu Qingge retorted.

“But—"

“You’re taking a break,” Liu Qingge stated, resolute in his words.

Shen Qingqiu gaped momentarily, before catching himself. His disciples were still around, and more were gathering by the minute. He couldn’t afford to lose face now!

“Is Liu-shidi not always stating that this shixiong takes too many breaks? Now he wants to force me to take one without asking?” Shen Qingqiu raised a brow, freezing his face in permanent aloof immortal mode.

It must work somewhat because Liu Qingge finally released his wrist.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but miss the contact for some reason.

Liu Qingge glared at some of the spectators before pulling out Cheng Luan. The sword shined in the daylight, earning him intimidated expressions from several disciples. Other disciples looked downright offended.

Whoa, whoa Shidi! Let’s take a breath here! Staring is rude and all, but not punishable by death!

But Liu Qingge didn’t keep a hold on the blade, instead letting it fall to his side, where it hovered under the use of his qi.

Then Liu Qingge finally turned to face Shen Qingqiu.

“Do you want to go somewhere… with me?” Liu Qingge asked lowly, angrily blushing.

Holy shit, Shen Qingqiu didn’t actually think Liu Qingge was going to ask like that! He felt his own breath catch in his throat at the request.

Well, he couldn’t say no now!

The wordless nod he gave Liu Qingge earned him a small smile that had Shen Qingqiu’s heart skipping another beat.

When Liu Qingge stepped fully onto Cheng Luan and held a hand out to Shen Qingqiu, Shen Qingqiu didn’t hesitate in taking it.

The hand was warm, if not a little sweaty. But even so, it was steady and strong, just like the man it belonged to.

When Shen Qingqiu held onto Liu Qingge as they started flying, he became distinctly aware of how his shidi’s muscled torso was just as steady and strong as his hand. How Liu Qingge’s shoulders twitched ever so slightly whenever Shen Qingqiu adjusted his arms. How it wasn’t just the close proximity between them that made Shen Qingqiu feel warm.

And as they continued to fly to who knows where, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but think that maybe the urge to hold Liu Qingge a little tighter wasn’t as platonic as he’d originally thought.

***

So maybe Shen Qingqiu wasn’t as straight as he’d first believed.

He was still mostly straight of course! Women were still pretty and nice, and sure he’d never had romantic feelings for any of them in his past life, but he probably just never had the chance to meet the one. He’d read Proud Immortal Demon Way and skimmed hundreds of pages describing Luo Binghe’s wives, which should be a testament to his straightness in and of itself.

Mostly straightness that is.

The ‘mostly’ now existing thanks to a certain man, as the exception to his otherwise completely straight existence.

That exception being a certain Liu Qingge.

Since Shen Qingqiu had gotten here, he had been so sure that staring a little too long at the other man’s muscles was purely admiration. That appreciating his strength and beauty was objective. That wanting to tease and see the other blush because it looked cute was natural. These must be things everyone did!

And if you’d seen the peerless beauty that was the Bai Zhan War God you would want to as well! Or so Shen Qingqiu had thought…

But recent events had forced Shen Qingqiu to take a step back and reconsider these things.

It had taken a whole week of soul searching and many internal debates to come to the conclusion that he had.

Shen Qingqiu may have not-platonic feelings for Liu Qingge. Feelings that couldn’t be defined as purely friendly. Feelings that don’t usually coincide will your ‘bro.’ Otherwise known as a crush.

A crush on Liu Qingge.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t find any other justification for the way he felt, especially after their friendly hang-out (their not-date) when his shidi had all but kidnapped Shen Qingqiu from his house and coerced him into taking the day off to spend time together.

He’d tried to chock things up to him not having many friends in his original life, and confusing his excitement over being close with a pal to having romantic feelings. The way he kept eyeing his shidi’s lips during their trip had promptly squashed that theory. (To his credit, Liu Qingge had extremely soft looking lips. An objective observation!)

In fact, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t really been able to admire the ruins they’d ended up visiting, too busy sneaking glimpses at Liu Qingge and internally panicking about his sudden revelation.

Re-evaluating your entire sexuality wasn’t exactly Shen Qingqiu’s idea of a good time. Was straight except for one guy rounded up to straight? Did math work like that? It was too much to think about!

Once, in an attempt to distract himself, Shen Qingqiu had wandered through a tight opening in some of the old stone walls, determined to pay attention to the marvels around him. Unfortunately, that had only led to Shen Qingqiu getting stuck in a dark but quite interesting room filled with some kind of altar.

And for a moment Shen Qingqiu had been enthralled enough with the mysterious object to get out of his own head.

It hadn’t lasted long though, before Liu Qingge was calling for him and crashing though the walls of the irreplaceable ruins to find him. Destroying part of the ancient architecture was a big no-no… but had also been a bit endearing and maybe a little hot… 

See! His stupid brain had ruined his chance to look for cool artifacts in the ruins! This crush was zero out of ten, would not recommend.

He’d still… enjoyed the outing aside from the constant internal panic he had been experiencing. And Liu Qingge hadn’t seemed to notice his weird behaviour, so that was a win. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even imagine how Liu Qingge would react if he found out, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. The last thing he wanted was to make the Bai Zhan Peak Lord uncomfortable around him!

So Shen Qingqiu pre-emptively decided that his crush would need to be neatly tucked away into his well compartmentalized brain. Liu Qingge was his friend who would someday find a nice girl to swoon over him, and then Shen Qingqiu would get to be the metaphorical best man at the wedding.

Of course, that was if Shen Qingqiu somehow survived the whole human stick ordeal and stopped Cang Qiong from being destroyed.

Nope, not gonna think about that! Back to repressing! Repressing was the best!

All in all, after some sleepless nights and some hard-fought self-acceptance, Shen Qingqiu was hoping for an uneventful day. He wanted it to be as boring as possible! No surprises, just the usual delicious breakfast from Binghe, the usual guqin lessons where the newer students’ attempts sent cringeworthy sounds through the forest, and the usual updates on his disciples’ progress from his hallmasters. No surprise visitors and no world-shifting realizations allowed!

And to Shen Qingqiu’s relief, the morning had been just that.

Binghe had served his congee with gusto, making Shen Qingqiu smile at the child’s enthusiasm. It even had extra green onions sprinkled on top.

There had been not one, but two disciples that snapped the strings of their guqin during their lessons, but at least it meant the two had to take a break from slaughtering the song they’d been tasked with. Shen Qingqiu would have to add new instruments to his budget proposal. Yue Qingyuan always seemed happy enough to accept his requests even when he went over budget, so he wasn’t particularly worried about it.

The hallmasters had actually written up a brief summary of the current progress of the novice disciples, which made it much easier to track over their usual verbal reports. And Shen Qingqiu would never complain about anyone making his job easier.

The normalcy the day brought was a breath of fresh air to Shen Qingqiu, making him want to cry in relief.

It wasn’t until the early evening, with the arrival of three downcast-looking disciples, that Shen Qingqiu wanted to cry for a whole other reason.

Shen Qingqiu had been seated in the greenery just behind his bamboo hut when he was approached by his little investigation squad. All three bowed before him.

“Shizun,” they greeted in sync, making Shen Qingqiu smile welcomingly.

“Ming Fan, Ning Yingying, Luo Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu acknowledged. “What can this master do for you?”

The disciples shared a look, and the lack of animosity between Ming Fan and Binghe would have warmed Shen Qingqiu’s heart any other day, except the looks the three shared were both worried and apprehensive.

It was Ning Yingying who spoke up first.

“Shizun, this one is sad to say that another letter was found in Shizun’s mail pile today,” she announced.

Binghe stepped forward, bowing and presenting a folded note to Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu took the page with an internal frown, but an impassive face.

“And there was no suspicious behaviour by any of the disciples delivering letters to Qing Jing that you’d been looking into?” Shen Qingqiu asked before opening the letter.

“None, Shizun,” Binghe lamented, pouting at his failure.

“It was the usual disciples, although disciple Liu Mingyan from Xian Shu delivered an additional letter from Peak Lord Qi today. Aside from that, nothing was different today,” Ming Fan reported.

Shen Qingqiu sighed. Well that wasn’t anything worth noting. Disciples were sent to deliver late letters all the time, and this wasn’t the first time Qi Qingqi had sent Binghe’s future wife to deliver letters inviting him to ‘strategy meetings,’ AKA gossip sessions.

“Apologies for our failure Shizun, this one will surely find the culprit soon,” Binghe tried, but even he looked demoralized.

“This master appreciates your efforts,” Shen Qingqiu said, trying his best not to look bothered.

“Will Shizun show us what the note says?” Ning Yingying asked with large eyes.

Ah Yingying, this master doesn’t want to scare you with whatever strange threat is on this note.

“This master will look it over and show his disciples if he deems it necessary,” Shen Qingqiu nodded.

He then waved off his disciples, sending them back to do their duties with glum faces.

Dusting off his robes, Shen Qingqiu got to his feet to make his way to the bamboo house. He kept his neutral mask up as he passed through the grasses, through his front door and into his bedroom.

It was only when he sat down on his bed, that Shen Qingqiu’s expression morphed into that of dread. He wasn’t going to cry or anything that extreme, but all he’d wanted was a boring and forgettable day! There had been so many days in his life that he’d hoped something exciting would happen, but now that he wanted a regular day, he had to receive another one of these damn notes.

He stared down at the note in his hand, holding the paper in one hand, and slowly grabbing the corner with the other to open it. Shen Qingqiu hesitated, closing one of his eyes as he imagined what kind of words could be written.

At this point the note could say ‘you will die in seven days’, and it wouldn’t be a surprise. It would be horrifying, but not a surprise.

With a last breath in preparation, Shen Qingqiu opened the folded paper like he was tearing off a band-aid, nearly ripping the page in the motion.

Like usual, a single sentence stood out in large writing.

‘Don’t go where I can’t follow.’

Shen Qingqiu inhaled sharply.

His heartbeat picked up, eyes sharply darting to different corners of his room, as if to find someone spying on him.

This note was… the final straw.

Pricks at Shen Qingqiu’s skin buzzed like someone was watching his every move. Like a sniper was waiting outside his house waiting to pull the trigger.

This person must want him dead. That was the only explanation at this point.

The first few notes made it seem like their intentions were to point out Shen Qingqiu’s flaws or to mock him, but the newer ones pointed in a much more sinister direction. This person was so set on getting rid of Shen Qingqiu that they were warning him against escaping. To this person, Shen Qingqiu’s crimes were so severe that even being banished from Cang Qiong wasn’t punishment enough.

This person wanted to watch Shen Qingqiu fall to ruin. They wanted the front row seat to his destruction and were willing to wait and watch from afar until it happened. Or perhaps even just biding their time for the perfect opportunity to off him themselves.

Shen Qingqiu knew his reputation. He knew of the cruel things Shen Qingqiu had done before he’d taken over. He knew that his actions probably didn’t have much impact in changing these things, despite how hard he tried.

But he didn’t want any of the things coming his way! Wasn’t this kind of thing what he’d been trying to prevent all along?!

He’d tried preventing events that would damage Shen Qingqiu’s reputation. He’d tried improving into his disciples’ education. He’d tried to provide Binghe with the care he deserved. He’d even tried all this under the system’s strict regulations.

But… there was one thing Shen Qingqiu hadn’t tried.

It was impossible for it to work with the plot events to come, but for the issue of the threatening letters… with someone he trusted, it might be worth a shot.

Collecting the notes he’d received up to this point, Shen Qingqiu set off to try something new.

Asking his martial siblings for help.

Chapter Text

Shen Qingqiu hesitated for only a moment at Liu Qingge’s door.

The Bai Zhan Peak Lord’s house had a simple exterior, with dents and scratches littering the outer surface, each with a story of its own.

The flight here had been both too fast and too slow, with Shen Qingqiu’s stress over the notes making him speed through the evening air.

It was almost funny how he hadn’t even hesitated to zoom toward Bai Zhan after deciding that maybe asking for help wasn’t the worst idea in the world. Logically, Yue Qingyuan might have been the better choice, seeing as he oversaw all the peaks and was well practiced in delegating investigations such as this. Even Qi Qingqi would have a more widespread information network.

But Liu Qingge was the person Shen Qingqiu thought of first. The one he trusted to have his back, even against an invisible foe. The thought made him flustered, but he shook it off.

No feelings allowed! He was here for the death threats (okay they weren’t quite death threats) that he was receiving.

Liu Qingge’s grumbles could be heard from outside the house. The man sounded frustrated at something, but since Liu Qingge was frustrated a lot of the time, Shen Qingqiu didn’t think much of it. What he was thinking about were the notes currently stored in his qiankun sleeve, which served as a reminder of why he was here.

So, taking a page out of Liu Qingge’s book, Shen Qingqiu swung the door open without knocking.

He immediately felt apologetic about the decision as Liu Qingge startled so badly it looked like he’d had a heart attack. The chair his shidi had been sitting on had been unceremoniously knocked over, and the man himself was now on his feet.

“S-Shen Qingqiu!” Liu Qingge said loudly, eyes darting around before settling on Shen Qingqiu.

“Apologies for not sending word ahead Shidi, but this shixiong has an urgent matter to discuss,” Shen Qingqiu explained.

The shock at Shen Qingqiu’s appearance had disappeared from Liu Qingge’s face, morphing into pure determination. He walked toward Shen Qingqiu with that same determination.

“Are you okay?” Liu Qingge demanded, eyes even more piercing now, and standing a bit too close.

Ahaha, Liu-shidi, no need to put him under a microscope! This master has recently become even more aware of how pretty you are and doesn’t need a close-up as a reminder! This isn’t good for his heart!

“Of course, of course,” Shen Qingqiu waved off the question instinctively, hiding his face with a sleeve before he imploded from his shidi’s attention.

He then realized his mistake and began to backtrack.

“Actually Shidi, this one does have a problem he needs your help with,” Shen Qingqiu admitted.

“A problem?” Liu Qingge repeated, but said nothing else, instead waiting for Shen Qingqiu to continue explaining.

Ah, the atmosphere was so tense! Shen Qingqiu supposed the situation was one that suited the tension, but still!

“Yes, it’s actually a personal problem, but this shixiong was hoping you wouldn’t mind helping him out?”

There, that way Liu Qingge wouldn’t feel too obligated, or get his hopes up for some exciting monster fight.

“Of course I’ll help,” Liu Qingge said without hesitation

Then with a red tint to his cheeks, Liu Qingge also added.

“If it’s you, I’ll do anything I can.”

Shen Qingqiu’s jaw dropped, and he suddenly felt like he was having his own heart attack.

Y-you can’t say things like that Shidi! People are gonna get the wrong idea! How was Shen Qingqiu supposed to perpetually ignore his crush on the guy when he said things like that? Illegal! Stupidly endearing one-liners were now banned!

Shen Qingqiu averted his gaze, looking anywhere but Liu Qingge’s intent gaze.

Wow what a nice home Liu-shidi! So many weapons set up and displayed! And his desk even looked a little like the one Shen Qingqiu had. Even the papers littering the surface of it looked the same.

Actually, now that Shen Qingqiu focused a little more he realized… the large writing on those pages. The brushstrokes, the dots of splattered ink, everything about them was unmistakeable.

Shen Qingqiu would know, he’d been examining the same writing for almost two months now.

“Those letters…” Shen Qingqiu muttered, eyes glued to the same writing that had been causing him so much grief.

He dazedly approached the desk, missing the alarm that washed over Liu Qingge’s face and the paling of his skin. Even the choked noise Liu Qingge made wasn’t heard in Shen Qingqiu’s trance.

There was only one reason Liu Qingge would have these here, with just as many pages crumpled and ripped lying on the floor as there were blank and scribbled out notes on the desk. Only one justifiable explanation.

“Shen Qingqiu, I--” Liu Qingge choked out, stepping in between Shen Qingqiu and the desk.

Liu Qingge looked like he wanted to say something else, but Shen Qingqiu had already come to his conclusion, and blurted out the question he needed confirmed instead of waiting for his shidi to finish.

“You’ve been getting these strange notes too?!” Shen Qingqiu asked so abruptly that Liu Qingge looked like he’d been punched in the face.

There was a pause, in which Liu Qingge opened and closed his mouth a couple times as his face turned red. The disbelief in his shidi’s expression was clear.

“You— What?!” Liu Qingge looked embarrassed yet baffled.

Shen Qingqiu reached into his sleeve, retrieving the letters he’d received, each kept in almost mint condition to aid in the investigation.

“See, these are the ones I received. The writing is identical, meaning they’re from the same person,” Shen Qingqiu explained, gesturing to the paper in his hand.

Liu Qingge looked at him like he’d grown a second head. Then the War God pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled something under his breath, looking both frustrated and mortified. He seemed to be having some kind of internal debate that Shen Qingqiu wasn’t privy to.

Was he this embarrassed at receiving the same notes as Shen Qingqiu? Something about the reaction seemed off somehow.

“You idiot,” Liu Qingge grumbled. “You really don’t know?”

Shen Qingqiu only felt somewhat offended at the insult. But did that mean… Liu Qingge already knew who they were from? What it supposed to be obvious, because Shen Qingqiu had tried his best to figure it out.

“No…?” Shen Qingqiu admitted.

Liu Qingge visibly bit the inside of his cheek, before turning on his heel and stomping over to his desk.

Shen Qingqiu watched in confusion as his shidi forcefully grabbed a brush with some ink and wrote something on a piece of paper. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t really see what was happening since Liu Qingge was hunched over his desk.

But just as quickly as Liu Qingge had gotten to his desk, he was turning back to Shen Qingqiu and approaching him. The Bai Zhan Peak Lord had a piece of paper clenched in his fist, almost tearing the delicate page.

Without meeting Shen Qingqiu’s eyes, Liu Qingge thrust the paper into Shen Qingqiu’s chest, almost making him lose his balance.

Shen Qingqiu caught the paper before it fell to the floor while Liu Qingge retracted his arm and held it tensely at his side, visibly clenching his fist.

Looking to his shidi for some kind of explanation for the strange behaviour, Shen Qingqiu was met with silence. The other man continued to look away, face bright red and a nervous frown on his face.

With Liu Qingge not speaking, Shen Qingqiu looked to the paper held to his chest. He turned it around slowly, unsure whether he was feeling scared or concerned at its contents.

Upon the sheet read a phrase in dried ink, words still clear despite the wrinkled surface.

‘I want to punch your mouth with my mouth.’

However, before Shen Qingqiu could process the sentence, he saw that underneath one of his thumbs there was an addition to the note, in still wet ink. Lifting his thumb revealed something that had Shen Qingqiu’s breath caught in his throat and cheeks flushing. Despite the words being slightly smudged and ink bleeding lightly, the rushed scrawl matched that of the rest of the notes.

The completed note, now uncovered read:

‘I want to punch your mouth with my mouth - Liu Qingge.’

Shen Qingqiu’s mind was suddenly overloaded with a single realization.

Liu Qingge had been sending the notes all along. The Bai Zhan Peak Lord hadn’t even been a suspect. None of the peak lords had been because Shen Qingqiu had been fairly confident none of them despised him to that extent anymore. And the notes were all eerie warnings directed at Shen Qingqiu… weren’t they?

Shen Qingqiu peered overtop of the note to where Liu Qingge was standing, looking more curled into himself than Shen Qingqiu had ever seen him. His shidi looked flustered and stood stiffly.

Could the notes not have been threats after all? Could Shen Qingqiu have misunderstood?

Because the man before him didn’t look like someone who hated him. Shen Qingqiu had experienced Liu Qingge hating him, brief as it was, and it was nothing like this. The hatred had been loud and angry, distrust clear in every gaze and movement.

Things weren’t like that anymore. They were friends. They had tea together. They protected each other on missions. They complained over grievances with each other. They teased and threw harmless jabs back and forth. They improved together. And Shen Qingqiu enjoyed just being together.

So as much as part of him was screaming that Liu Qingge must secretly hate him, Shen Qingqiu refused to believe it.

Shen Qingqiu considered himself pretty good at reading people’s emotions and would have known.

But if that was the case then the letters weren’t threats. Meaning the letters were—

Rereading the note in his hand, Shen Qingqiu finally processed the words themselves.

Punching someone’s mouth with their own mouth was a strange way to say it, but this note sounded almost like Liu Qingge wanted to…

“I’m not a poet,” Liu Qingge blurted. “But Mingyan said you’d like letters and you seemed happier lately, so I thought maybe you liked them… and maybe… you were considering… accepting?”

Shen Qingqiu looked up at Liu Qingge, and this time saw something he’d never noticed before.

Liu Qingge’s eyes held something soft. Something Shen Qingqiu had grown accustomed to seeing. But also something he’d never seen Liu Qingge hold looking at anything else.

“Accepting?” Shen Qingqiu asked in not quite a whisper.

“Accepting my offer of courtship,” Liu Qingge replied bluntly.

C-courtship?

This whole time the notes had been… courtship gifts? That would make them…

Love letters??????

“You want to court me?!” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but blurt.

His heart was beating a mile a minute, and his stomach was churning like it was making butter.

“Yes,” Liu Qingge said, furrowing his brow like the answer was obvious. “That’s what the letters said.”

That’s NOT what the letters said!

The letters said Shen Qingqiu gave Liu Qingge chest pain and that he was distracting! How was he supposed to know from that?!

The colour green one was just random, and the one telling him not to go where he couldn’t be followed was really weird out of context.

Shen Qingqiu might be able to excuse the one calling him pretty (now that he knew it was a compliment and not a hidden insult), and even the one about wanting to see him more (again, a lot less creepy now that he knew who wanted to see him more often). But not one of these letters mentioned courtship! This was definitely not Shen Qingqiu’s fault, no rational person could have deciphered these coded messages.

“But the letters were all anonymous!” Shen Qingqiu said in his own defense.

Liu Qingge pursed his lips.

“I thought you preferred it that way!” Liu Qingge replied, looking confused.

Since when?

Actually Shen Qingqiu does remember saying something vaguely like that, but he’d meant in novels and stuff! Not real life!

Honestly, who was Liu Qingge to be so sweet to remember such an offhand comment Shen Qingqiu had made anyways?

And holy shit, Liu Qingge wanted to court him. Him. Why would someone like Liu Qingge ever want to do that?

Shen Qingqiu had only recently realized that he wasn’t 100% straight, and that his cool bro feelings for his good friend Liu Qingge were more in the realm of bromance. But he’d already mentally rejected himself on Liu Qingge’s behalf after figuring out his crush. How was supposed to process everything?

How was he supposed to not think about kissing the stupidly beautiful man in front of him with all of this going on?

“Shen Qingqiu,” Liu Qingge broke through his thoughts.

Shen Qingqiu hadn’t even noticed that he’d been pacing until now.

“Shen Qingqiu…” Liu Qingge said again. “…if you don’t want to, you can just say so, it’s fine.”

Liu Qingge looked so dejected. It hurt Shen Qingqiu’s heart to see his stubborn, prideful shidi look like that. What made it even worse was that he’d been the one to make his shidi look like that.

“Liu-shidi…” Shen Qingqiu started.

He wasn’t sure what to say.

That was a lie, because his entire being was screaming at him to just say yes already!

But at this moment, he was tongue-tied, feelings of such disbelief and sudden happiness making his brain lag. The blood in his body was apparently too busy occupying his face to make time for his brain. Gone was the verbose and wise scholar, replaced by a nervous teenager who just got confessed to behind the school gym.

So instead of a gracious acceptance of the courtship offer, or even a heartfelt deliverance of his own feelings, Shen Qingqiu sputtered out what could only be marked down as the dumbest thing he’d ever said.

“Liu Qingge, I’d also like to punch your mouth with my mouth.”

Shen Qingqiu immediately covered his face in mortification, mourning his self-respect behind his hands.

Because of this, Shen Qingqiu missed the words slowly sinking into Liu Qingge’s own mind. Missed the disbelief and wonder in Liu Qingge’s eyes. Missed the transformation of Liu Qingge’s face into one of elated awe.

Missed the smile on the face of a man who couldn’t quite believe how lucky he was.

There was the sound of steady footsteps padding toward Shen Qingqiu. Then there was the feeling of calloused fingertips around Shen Qingqiu’s own hands, making Shen Qingqiu press his hands further into his face.

He wasn’t ready to face Liu Qingge. Not after saying that!

“Hey, don’t hide your face,” Liu Qingge said with none of the gruffness his words usually held.

Shen Qingqiu snorted a little, recognizing the words from one of the notes. It sounded so much less foreboding when spoken out loud.

Very slowly, as if asking permission, Liu Qingge took Shen Qingqiu’s hands and maneuvered them away from his face. This time Shen Qingqiu allowed his hands to be moved.

Liu Qingge was standing… very close, but Shen Qingqiu found despite his eternal embarrassment, that he didn’t mind it too much.

He also found he didn’t mind when Liu Qingge met his eyes for a second, before leaning in and kissing him square on the mouth.

The sudden pressure was a little awkward and a little bumpy, but it wasn’t actually like getting punched in the face. Liu Qingge’s lips were smoother than Shen Qingqiu had imagined, and he found the warmth of them felt very nice.

But just as fast as Liu Qingge had lunged in for the kiss, he was pulling away.

Shen Qingqiu could fell his lips tingle, proof that Liu Qingge, Bai Zhan War God, had just kissed him!

He wanted to pinch himself as extra reassurance, but Liu Qingge was still standing close, face red but not as nervous as he’d looked earlier. Shen Qingqiu kind of wanted to kiss him again.

Instead he bit his lip, feeling giddy.

“Does that mean you accept?” Liu Qingge asked in clarification, looking very determined to stare anywhere but the lips he’d just kissed.

Shen Qingqiu scoffed.

“Does Liu-shidi have to ask me such a thing after we just…” Shen Qingqiu trailed off as the intense look on Liu Qingge’s face told him that yes, he did have to.

Shen Qingqiu swallowed his eternal embarrassment.

“Yes Liu-shidi, I accept,” Shen Qingqiu answered, and finds himself smiling as he does so. “Now are you going to kiss me again, or do I need to write a letter asking for one?”

“As many as you want,” Liu Qingge agreed, the serious yet sweet words K.O-ing Shen Qingqiu easily.

The double K.O. came from the stupidly fond smile his shidi (boyfriend!) wore as he closed the gap between them.

This time when Liu Qingge leaned in, it was less of a torpedo shooting toward its target uncaring for any obstacles in its way, and instead a gliding motion that met their lips together. Where previously there were two mostly static bodies, there was now Shen Qingqiu’s hand shyly cupping Liu Qingge’s face, and Liu Qingge tentatively wrapping his arms around Shen Qingqiu’s waist.

Liu Qingge kissed like he’d never get to kiss Shen Qingqiu ever again (which was very doubtful considering how much Shen Qingqiu liked it), pressing in insistently with unpracticed lips. Despite this, when Shen Qingqiu slowed down their rhythm to something less hurried, Liu Qingge followed his lead.

And as Liu Qingge pulled Shen Qingqiu closer, Shen Qingqiu allowed his brain to leave the building.

No thoughts here! Just two inexperienced peak lords sharing a surprisingly passionate kiss (had they reached the making-out stage already???)!

This was definitely not what Shen Qingqiu imagined he’d be doing with his mystery note sender when he found them. Not that he was complaining!

Shen Qingqiu tilted his head instinctively, feeling Liu Qingge hum appreciatively at the new angle. Liu Qingge moved one hand to the back of Shen Qingqiu’s neck, making Shen Qingqiu shiver at the touch. In response, Shen Qingqiu ended up biting at Liu Qingge’s bottom lip by accident.

He was going to stop and apologize, especially when he tasted a little blood as a result of the nip, but froze instead when Liu Qingge let out a low groan.

The noise must have startled Liu Qingge as well since the man released Shen Qingqiu all at once.

Shen Qingqiu was going to assure him that it was fine, but when he saw the embarrassed look on his shidi’s face he couldn’t help but chuckle a little instead.

“Isn’t Liu-shidi bold,” Shen Qingqiu teased, enjoying very much the way Liu Qingge squawked in turn.

“You’re the one who asked me to kiss you!” Liu Qingge rebutted.

“Only after you said you wanted to,” Shen Qingqiu retorted.

“You!”

The offended look on Liu Qingge’s face held no threat when the man’s lips were red and slick from being kissed. It held even less weight when Liu Qingge’s lip quirked up against his will.

Shen Qingqiu was smiling without restraint now. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the need to school his expression or cover it up.

And when Liu Qingge reached over to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Shen Qingqiu’s ear, he couldn’t help but think about how much affection was in that movement alone. How Liu Qingge showed so much of himself in his actions.

But somehow it hadn’t been Liu Qingge’s actions, but his words that had gotten them here. His blunt, uncoordinated, foreboding, awkwardly written words.

For better or worse, Shen Qingqiu already had each one memorized.

And as Liu Qingge leaned in again, Shen Qingqiu thought memorizing the lips they’d come from could be a little poetic as well.

***

Liu Qingge furrowed his brow as he read the scroll placed in front of him.

He sat at the table in the bamboo house, waiting for Shen Qingqiu to return with some tea for the two of them.

Shen Qingqiu, who he was now officially courting. Who he was now allowed to kiss whenever he wanted. Who now spent time openly rambling about all the places they should visit together, and all the things he thought Liu Qingge would like to see and monsters he’d like to fight.

It had only been a week and Liu Qingge already couldn’t imagine himself without this silly but perfect man at his side.

It could be tricky to catch Shen Qingqiu without his disciples clinging to him though. A few of them had even interrupted his and Shen Qingqiu’s evening together yesterday to discuss some strange investigation project. The mention of this had Shen Qingqiu throwing side-eyes at Liu Qingge, before explaining to the disciples that there was no longer any issue. When Liu Qingge had asked about it, Shen Qingqiu had laughed nervously before ranting about something unrelated. Liu Qingge had since dropped the subject.

Seeing Shen Qingqiu with his disciples was always impressive, with how the little Qing Jing disciples hung off Shen Qingqiu’s every word.

Still, Liu Qingge preferred Shen Qingqiu like he was now, with just the two of them.

Not only because of his own selfishness in wanting the man’s attention, but of how Shen Qingqiu let his guard down that much more. Less worried about his image. Less worried about picking the right word. Less worried about fulfilling his version of perfection.

Liu Qingge was grateful he was the one who got to see this Shen Qingqiu.

“It’s almost done,” Shen Qingqiu called from the other room.

Liu Qingge grunted in response and turned back to the stupid poem Shen Qingqiu had given him to read.

It said something about… butterflies? But their wings were the world? And the flapping of their wings was love? Liu Qingge still didn’t know.

Shen Qingqiu finally entered the room, sitting himself comfortably at Liu Qingge’s side, making Liu Qingge feel warm.

The Qing Jing Peak lord poured them both a cup, delicate hands cupping the teapot with precision.

“Did you enjoy the poem?” Shen Qingqiu asked with a quirk of his lip.

“No,” Liu Qingge said immediately. “It didn’t make any sense.”

“Aww, but I thought Liu-shidi had developed a soft spot for romantic poetry?”

Liu Qingge groaned.

“No.”

Shen Qingqiu was never going to stop teasing him about the notes, was he?

Still, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. Not when the result had Shen Qingqiu’s chin on Liu Qingge’s shoulder as he looked down at the poem on the table.

“Actually, I agree with you Shidi. This poem was trash. The flow is mediocre, and the metaphors are all over the place,” Shen Qingqiu mocked the probably well-regarded poem. Shen Qingqiu did seem to have a love for criticizing any writing he came across. “Even Liu-shidi’s letters were better.”

Liu Qingge was lucky he wasn’t sipping his tea yet or he would have choked on it. Instead he settled for staring at Shen Qingqiu in disbelief.

“I’m serious!” Shen Qingqiu tilted his chin up. “At least Liu-shidi’s were consistent and stirred emotions of some kind. This is dull and uninspired.”

Liu Qingge was ready to ask why Shen Qingqiu had made him read it in the first place, when Shen Qingqiu pulled out another piece of paper and placed it in front of Liu Qingge.

“I think Liu-shidi should read this one as well,” Shen Qingqiu announced, but suddenly seemed very interested in his tea.

The playful look from when he’d presented Liu Qingge the previous terrible poem was gone, and instead Shen Qingqiu looked almost… nervous?

Liu Qingge turned to the paper, curious and cautious about its contents.

It was a single sentence, much shorter than the poem he’d just read, and written in familiar handwriting.

‘The world can be dark and cold, but you make it that much warmer.’

This was… for him? From Shen Qingqiu!

The words swam through his vision, and he could all but imagine the precise flick of the brush used to create it. Each ink stroke bold as Shen Qingqiu crafted the words with Liu Qingge in mind. A master of the arts creating something just for Liu Qingge and no one else. Something explicitly saying that he made Shen Qingqiu’s life happier, just as the scholar did for him.

Liu Qingge will have it hung in his house.

Shen Qingqiu looked furiously embarrassed at Liu Qingge’s side, mumbling into his teacup.

“I like this one,” Liu Qingge stated, an understatement to be sure, but once again words didn’t seem enough.

“Oh, good,” Shen Qingqiu released a breath. “Good, good I’m glad. I mean, I’m sure the author would be pleased to hear the great Bai Zhan Peak Lord favours their work.”

Shen Qingqiu coughed a little into his sleeve.

Liu Qingge said nothing about the blatant lie. Instead, he tentatively took Shen Qingqiu’s hand in his own, unable to look at the other as he did so.

Shen Qingqiu hummed happily at the contact, leaning into the warmth between them.

Despite the way Liu Qingge’s face burned and his heart hammered away, not yet used to the closeness between them, he felt content.

“Maybe I’ll see if this author has any more works lying around,” Shen Qingqiu said. “To get Liu-shidi to read something other than a battle record is quite a feat after all.”

Liu Qingge didn’t react to the jab, focused more on the first part of the statement.

“Bring me any you find,” Liu Qingge agreed, only slightly embarrassed by his own shamelessness.

Shen Qingqiu squeezed his hand a little harder at that, a squeeze that Liu Qingge easily returned.

Liu Qingge was a man of action. Actions held purpose. Held truth and feelings and the spirit of the person performing them. For him, a person’s actions showed who they really were, and allowed him to show himself in turn.

Words had always seemed secondary, less important in the grand scheme of things, useful only for those who couldn’t show their intentions in what they did.

But now…

Well, maybe words were pretty good too.