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It was really bothering him.
Kyungsoo had felt it for a while now. He and Baekhyun were in their first full year of dating—or at least they were approaching their very first anniversary—and for a long time he felt it. Something was missing. He just wasn’t sure what.
Lying in bed with Baekhyun, the scent of them in the air, Kyungsoo felt it again. Their relationship was lacking something. But what?
“Mm…” Baekhyun turned over in his arms, nestling against his chest. They had the AC on high, just the way Baekhyun liked it. He said if he was cold, cuddling felt even better. Kyungsoo didn’t really mind either way. As long as Baekhyun was there, he was okay with it.
Chewing on his lip in thought, Kyungsoo ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair, massaging his head. Like a cat, Baekhyun sighed with satisfaction and leaned into it.
What was it? It was like an itch begging to be scratched. Kyungsoo couldn’t figure it out.
“Kyungja… you’re thinking too hard.”
“What?”
This time, Baekhyun’s sigh was exasperated. “I can’t sleep. What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” He couldn’t tell him. It wasn’t anything bad. Or maybe it was? He still wasn’t sure what exactly it was, either. “Go to sleep.”
“Unsatisfactory,” Baekhyun said in a mumble, but settled back in anyway. “You know I’m always down to listen, right?”
“Yeah.”
Would Baekhyun know? Kyungsoo wracked his brain about it. “Baekhyun?”
“Yeah?”
That was it. Something about that. Baekhyun’s… name? But why would his name bother him?
“Never mind…”
“Jeez.” Baekhyun got up on his forearm and flicked his forehead. “Just tell me.”
“No, it’s really nothing. Sorry. Go to sleep.”
Shaking his head, Baekhyun laid down again and closed his eyes. “You, too.”
“Mhm.” Kyungsoo closed his eyes too but didn’t sleep for a while.
“Hey, Kyungsoo.” Minseok smiled when he came into the cafe, wiping his hands dry on a paper towel. “Your regular order?”
“Yes, please.” With Minseok’s presence, Kyungsoo already felt at ease. He sat in his familiar chair in front of the counter and watched him make his drink. The movements were practiced and efficient, and in another minute it was in front of him.
“How are you? How’s Baekhyun? I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“I’m good. Baekhyun’s good.” But Kyungsoo frowned. “Actually…”
Minseok tilted his head, leaning back against the counter as he looked at him. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
Was there? Kyungsoo sipped his drink and shook his head. “Well… I feel like something’s… off.”
“Off about what?”
“Our relationship. Baekhyun and I. I mean, I still care about him a lot, of course. Just… something’s missing?”
Minseok hummed, but his expression was that of concern. “That’s normal. I mean, Sehun and I had a similar problem when we were first dating. It’s normal to question things.”
“No, it’s not that.” Kyungsoo sighed. “I don’t really get it, either. I guess… it’s his name?”
“His name?” Minseok blinked, confused. “What do you—’
“Oh, Kyungsoo, hey.” Sehun came out of the back room, carrying a box that presumably held supplies for the drinks. “Babe, can you give me a hand? This is kind of heavy.”
Minseok pushed off the counter to go help him, and Kyungsoo blinked. Babe. Babe. That was it. That was what was missing.
“Pet names,” Kyungsoo said out loud. Minseok and Sehun stopped. They turned to him.
“What?” Minseok asked.
“I think he said ‘pet names,’” Sehun supplied.
“Pet names,” Kyungsoo repeated. “That’s what we’re missing.”
Minseok looked at Sehun. Sehun looked at Minseok. They both looked at him again.
“That’s kind of a cute thing to be worried about,” Minseok said.
“You want to use pet names with Baekhyun?” Sehun set the box down on the counter with a sound of relief. He massaged his hand. “I didn’t know you liked that kind of stuff.”
Kyungsoo flushed, realizing what he’d just admitted to. “I mean, I just feel like… I think…”
“Oh, leave him alone, Sehun.” Minseok swatted his shoulder. “It’s cute. Don’t worry.”
“Baekhyun doesn’t call you pet names though? It seems like a thing he would do.”
“He only calls me my nickname.”
“Soo?” Minseok asked. Kyungsoo shook his head.
“Penguin?”
“Dyo?”
“I realize there are a lot of nicknames for me, but I was talking about ‘Kyungja.’”
“Oh, that one.” Sehun nodded. “Makes sense. Baekhyun did make that one up.”
“Anyway, back on topic.” Minseok contemplated for a moment. “If you want to use pet names with him, you should be the one to start.”
Him? Start?
“That’s weird.”
“Not weird,” Sehun said. “The weirder thing is that you guys have been dating for a year and you haven’t used a pet name even once for a joke.”
Fair enough. But it was hard for Kyungsoo to be affectionate. To have to initiate pet-name usage was the ultimate challenge.
“Give it a shot,” Minseok suggested, beginning to unload the boxes. They were plastic cups. “Might as well. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t like the name.”
“Okay,” Kyungsoo said.
Give it a shot. Easier said than done. Kyungsoo could feel himself sweat every time he tried to do it. One time, Baekhyun even checked his temperature, thinking he was sick. He wanted to give up, but the more their anniversary approached, the more it bothered him. Sehun was right. They’d been dating for almost a year now. Why didn’t they use pet names?
“I’m off to work,” Baekhyun said, pecking him on the lips. Usually it was a short kiss, but this time he lingered on it a second longer, arms coming around his shoulders. In that position, Baekhyun looked at him. The adoration was practically palpable. “I’m excited for tonight. I almost don’t want to go.”
It was their anniversary today. This morning they’d gotten up early to take a bath together and eat breakfast, but Baekhyun had work. Kyungsoo had managed to take off.
“Almost?”
“Really.” Baekhyun corrected it with a roll of his eyes, even with a smile tugging at his lips. “I really don’t want to go.”
“I don’t want you to go either.” Kyungsoo meant it. If he could, he would kidnap Baekhyun from work and steal him for the day. Or the week. Or the month. Or forever.
Anyway.
“Alas, duty calls. I’ll see if I can leave early, though. Text me a lot today, okay?”
“Alright.” Reluctantly, Kyungsoo let go of his hips and watched him scoop up his keys.
“Don’t cook tonight. I want to make dinner.”
“I know.”
“Promise?” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows and held the keys out like a knife as a threat.
“Promise.”
“Okay. One last kiss.” Kyungsoo missed him already. “Bye, Kyungja.”
“Drive safe.” The word was on the tip of his tongue. Babe. Drive safe, babe.
It didn’t come out.
Baekhyun blinked at his awkward way of speech (that had anticipated a continuation of the sentence,) but otherwise didn’t say anything. In another moment he was gone, and Kyungsoo was left to mourn his loss.
Today was the day, he decided as he locked the door behind him. Today he was going to do it.
The rest of the afternoon was relatively uneventful. Kyungsoo watched movies to pass the time while texting Baekhyun, reciting the pet name in his head. Except maybe it was the wrong pet name for him. It just felt weird. Was it supposed to feel weird? Maybe it was something to get used to. Or maybe it was supposed to feel right when he said it. Or maybe he was overthinking it.
When Baekhyun arrived home, Kyungsoo tried again. He failed.
“You’re really acting strange today,” Baekhyun said as he navigated the kitchen. It wasn’t like it was rare of him to cook for them, but more often than not it was Kyungsoo who cooked. Seeing Baekhyun in an apron moving about was endearing.
“Strange?” Kyungsoo leaned his elbows on the counter in front of him, then put his chin in his palm.
“Yeah. Like you want to tell me something.”
“Not really.”
“So you keep saying, but my Kyungja senses are tingling.”
Kyungja senses. That was a new one. “I’m just a bit tired.”
Baekhyun raised his eyebrows, glancing at him as he turned on the stove. It was a bad excuse, to be fair. Kyungsoo hadn’t done anything all day. “Right.”
“Do you need help?” Kyungsoo asked, beginning to stand. He wanted to change the topic, asap. “I could cut the vegetables for you—”
“Nuh-uh. I told you, I’m cooking. Hands off the chef’s work.”
In spite of himself, Kyungsoo laughed at that. “Okay, fine. I’ll let you do your thing, Chef Byun.”
“Riddle me this,” Baekhyun said as he opened the cabinet above him. He had to stretch a bit to reach the salt. “If we got married, who’s taking whose last name?”
He said it casually, but Kyungsoo felt his heart stop. “Uh…”
“It’s a hypothetical,” Baekhyun said. Now Kyungsoo heard the slight anxiety in his voice, although for the most part his voice was steady. “Don’t think too hard about it.”
“I would want to marry you,” Kyungsoo said without really thinking about it, because he could tell Baekhyun was beginning to regret saying anything.
“Oh.”
“And it doesn’t matter to me. If you want to keep your name, I’ll take yours.”
“Baekhyun Doh,” Baekhyun said, “Or Kyungsoo Byun. I wonder which one sounds better.”
“I think your last name is cute,” Kyungsoo said. “It would be a shame for you to lose it.”
Baekhyun gasped with exaggerated fear. “Illegal!”
“What?”
“It’s illegal to say something so sweet!”
Laughing, Kyungsoo said, “It’s the truth. I’ll take your name, then.”
“But I like yours.”
“Well, whatever you want then.”
“We’ll think on it,” Baekhyun said. “We have time.”
Kyungsoo smiled. Yeah, they did. He thought about it a lot. Their future. Not just his own or Baekhyun’s separately, but the both of theirs, together. What it held.
Then he frowned. It was still there, that feeling of missing something. Now was as good a time as any to call Baekhyun by a pet name. With Baekhyun turned away and this nice atmosphere, and the non-proposal proposal that they’d just exchanged. He swallowed.
“Hey…” babe? Honey? Sweetie? Kyungsoo floundered.
After a long moment, Baekhyun turned to look at him. “Uh… yeah? Are you okay?”
No. “Never mind.”
“Are you sure?” Baekhyun frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Really.”
“Enough.” Baekhyun said it gently, turning off the stove to cup Kyungsoo’s face between his palms. “Something’s wrong. Tell me.”
They stared at each other. Kyungsoo felt himself caving. “Um… I just… What do you think about pet names?”
Baekhyun blinked. Kyungsoo could practically hear him saying ‘what?’ in his head.
Then he said it out loud.
“What?”
“Pet names.” Oh, god. He was blushing, wasn’t he? Avoiding Baekhyun’s eyes, face still squished between his hands, Kyungsoo said, “Like. Babe. Or honey.”
“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said slowly. “What do you think about them?”
“We’ve been dating for a while.”
“Right.”
“Not a while. But a good amount of a time. It’s been a year.”
“Just tell me, Kyungja.”
“I feel like we should be calling each other by pet names,” Kyungsoo blurted. “Or something. Whatever.”
Baekhyun stared at him. The words were settling in. “You want us to call each other by pet names.”
“Yeah…”
“Okay,” Baekhyun said. Kyungsoo’s eyes shot to his. “Which do you like? You said ‘babe,’ right? ‘Honey?’”
“Um…”
“What about ‘baby?’” Baekhyun kissed his lips softly. “Sweetie? My love?”
“I- I don’t know.”
“I like ‘my love,’” Baekhyun said. He cocked his head slightly. “Say it for me?”
Kyungsoo swallowed. He was sweating again, face flushed. “What do you want me to say?”
“‘Happy anniversary, my love.’”
“Happy anniversary…” Kyungsoo followed Baekhyun’s lips as they came closer, swallowing his words just as he said them, “My love.”
“Good job, babe,” Baekhyun said sweetly, kissing him again. Short but sweet. Then he drew back and returned to the stove, smiling. “You’re right. We should have done this a long time ago. I like this much better.”
It would take some getting used to, but Kyungsoo liked it too.