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It started when Neil was taken shopping. He should’ve known, because it was Allison and Nicky taking him but they’d gone to Exites and he thought he was in the clear. They spent at least half an hour in that store, where Neil got himself some new gloves and knee pads and ignored the urge to get another racket. The whole time, Allison and Nicky seemed perfectly lively, even getting themselves a little bit of gear.
But somehow, Neil ended up dragged to three different clothing stores.
“You know that Macy’s sells more than just clothes, right?” Nicky asked after Neil had grumbled about the situation.
Well, all that Neil had seen so far had been clothes. Allison was currently trying something on inside the fitting rooms, but she’d done the same in the other stores, so Neil had to assume she was looking for something in particular. Nicky had already gotten himself something, and the two of them had encouraged Neil to get something for himself if he wanted, but Neil knew he already had enough clothes. And despite what people may say, he took good care of what he had and didn’t want to get any replacements.
“I have eyes, Nicky,” Neil said in response to the question.
“And you’re sure that you don’t want anything?”
Neil nodded again. He wanted to get back to Fox Tower and find a good place for his new gear, not sit in a Macy’s telling Allison that every outfit she put on was good. He didn’t get why those two kept doing stuff like this, because Neil already knew he had to be the least helpful person to go clothes shopping with.
Not wanting to stay sitting any longer, Neil got to his feet and told Nicky as much, deciding to walk around the store. Maybe he could sneak off to Exites again, since at least there he’d find things that wouldn’t bore him. As Neil made his way towards the exit of the store, his eyes ended up catching sight of a camera. A gray polaroid that wasn’t much bigger than his hands.
He wasn’t sure why it had caught his attention. Neil had never been interested in photography in the past, and he wasn’t exactly interested in it now, but he supposed it would be something that could record memories. Not that Neil was exactly sentimental, but he’d been considering making another binder to keep track of all the Foxes after they graduated and went their separate ways, so maybe this could be some sort of replacement for that.
Neil hesitated, but ended up buying it. He found Nicky and Allison as they finished up deciding what clothes they were going to get, still at the dressing rooms. “Neil?” Allison asked, slowly smiling. “Did you get yourself something?”
“Yes,” Neil said, opening the bag enough so they could get a glimpse of the polaroid camera.
“Oh, that’s fun,” Nicky said after looking at it.
Well, Neil wasn’t sure if it was going to be fun, because this was more of an impulse buy than something he’d been waiting to get. At least it was small, so it wouldn’t be a hindrance.
That night, Neil tested out taking a few pictures of his team, who posed when asked. It was absolutely ridiculous, and it took a few tries until he could get the pictures to come out well, but he ended up with a small stack left on the dresser in his dorm, right next to the gray camera.
~*~
Renee needed some new plates after the ones in the girls’ dorm broke. Neil went along with her because, out of everyone he could go shopping with, Renee was definitely the most tolerable. She didn’t like shopping anymore than Neil did, so it was in-and-out. Nicky had asked Neil to look for some better spoons while he was out, so that’s what he was looking for in the small shop Renee had taken him to.
But while he was grabbing the first pack of spoons that looked good enough, Neil’s eyes ended up catching on a small dish. It was rectangular in shape and dark green in color with just a hint of gold. The moment he saw it, Neil was reminded of Andrew’s eyes. Well, the dish wasn’t the exact color, but it was pretty close.
Then he thought about how Andrew had made bread in the only oven-safe dish they had, and though the bread didn’t rise like it should’ve in that big of a dish, it had tasted delicious. If Andrew had a dish like this one, then maybe he’d bake some more. Maybe he’d teach Neil how to bake. Maybe the dish could stay in a cupboard in their kitchen.
“Find the spoons?” Renee asked, startling Neil out of his thoughts.
“Yes,” he confirmed. Renee turned to leave, so Neil moved to follow, grabbing that dish at the last moment.
He didn’t know how to bring the dish up to Andrew other than to just give it to him. That night, after giving the spoons to Nicky, he found Andrew and held out the dish. Andrew looked from it to him multiple times, but didn’t reach to take it or ask what it was.
“It’s a bread dish,” Neil explained.
“Pan,” Andrew corrected.
“Whatever,” Neil huffed. “It’ll work better than the other one.”
Andrew finally took it, but his eyes didn’t leave Neil’s face. “You bought a pan.”
“Yes.”
They were silent again for a few seconds. Andrew seemed very confused about the whole situation, which Neil supposed was fair, but it was still just a bread dish. Pan. Something to bake bread in.
“Where’s this going?” Andrew asked.
“The kitchen?” Neil guessed. “Where the rest of the pans are?”
Very slowly, Andrew got to his feet. Neil followed him to the kitchen and watched him put it in one of the cupboards. He took that to mean that they wouldn’t be baking that night and decided to take a look at his homework.
A few days later, they got to use it.
~*~
Before the start of the new year, Matt asked Neil if he wanted to go dorm room shopping with him. Matt had to be the most pleasant to shop with other than Renee, so he agreed. Matt ended up buying some stacking hangers, cleaning supplies, a whole new storage compartment and more. Neil wasn’t sure what to get - if he was going to get anything at all - but he got some cleaning supplies when Matt told him he should.
“Oh, hey,” Matt said, stopping at a new aisle. “Bed sheets. I need new ones.”
“The dorms hand some out,” Neil reminded him.
“Yeah, but they’re not good,” Matt said back. “Here, feel these.”
Neil did, just to appease Matt. They were nice, but they were also sheets, so Neil didn’t think they were anything special. He was about to suggest they move on when his eyes caught on a thing of gray sheets, not exactly light but not dark, either. The sheets at Fox tower were white and stiff, and those would be...well, better.
Deciding not to overthink it, Neil grabbed the sheets and added them to the cart. Matt didn’t say anything about it, just grabbed his own while talking about getting new measuring cups.
~*~
“You bought a beanbag chair?”
“Yes,” Neil confirmed. He was quite proud of it, because it was bigger than the other beanbag chair, and he’d already sat on it to determine that it was more comfortable as well. In fact, it was big enough to stretch out comfortably. If he didn’t enjoy the times Andrew would pull him onto the same dorm bed, he’d consider sleeping on it full time.
He’d hoped that Andrew would like the beanbag chair as well, but so far he’d only frowned at it with his arms crossed. Neil could usually figure out what Andrew was thinking given his facial expressions, but he wasn’t sure why Andrew would be upset about them now having their own beanbag chair. Aaron had caught them making out in his once and had told them to either keep it or burn it. They did neither.
“Where’s a chair that size going?” Andrew asked.
“We’ll give Aaron his back,” Neil explained. He’d already moved that one near the door, filling the empty space with his. “And then it can go there.”
For a moment Andrew was still quiet, but he finally took a step closer to the beanbag. Neil sat down in it and watched Andrew stop just a foot away. “Why would you get a beanbag chair?”
“This one is nicer,” Neil said, because it was. “And bigger.”
“Bigger?” Andrew raised one eyebrow the way he did when Neil would say something he thought was interesting. But Neil couldn’t figure out why he’d think a bigger beanbag was interesting.
Unless…
Neil patted the space next to him. “We can both fit.”
Andrew didn’t say anything for a moment, but eventually he climbed onto the beanbag chair, settling with just a little bit of space between their bodies. Neil made sure it stayed there as he reached for the remote to the TV, handing it to Andrew, who started channel surfing. Neil didn’t care what they watched. He was content enough on the comfortable beanbag chair with Andrew at his side.
~*~
“Neil, this isn’t what I meant when I said you need to improve your style,” Allison grumbled as they walked out of the mall.
“You said you’d buy me whatever clothes I wanted if I came with you,” Neil pointed out. Just because Allison didn’t like his ‘sense of style’ didn’t mean she could complain when he’d voluntarily went shopping with her.
“It’s just…” She shook her head. “Okay, okay. It’s an improvement from the sweatpants.”
“What’s wrong with my sweatpants?”
When they got back to Fox Tower, Neil went to the dorm and basked in the silence. Everyone else that lived there was in class, so he had a bit of time alone. For some reason that excited him, so Neil rushed to the bathroom to put on what he’d bought.
Though Allison didn’t like it, she’d bought Neil some jorts. He wasn’t sure what it was about them that he liked, because the best thing to get would be athletic shorts for running, but for some reason they just stood out to him. Neil had tried them on in the dressing room and decided that he’d just get one pair. Allison was probably relieved he didn’t get more than one.
Neil heard the front door slam, and he decided to walk out to show whoever had returned to the dorm his jorts. Andrew was the one who walked inside, doing a double take when he took in Neil’s appearance and slamming the door behind him. Neil grinned. “Look,” he encouraged.
“What are those?” Andrew asked.
“They’re my new jorts.”
“Why are you wearing them?”
“I wanted them.” Neil glanced down at the jorts, which were dark blue in color with some faded parts on his thighs. They only came down to just above his knees and were slightly ripped at the edges. Neil didn’t know why, but he liked them. “They’re not restricting or anything. I can still move around.” Neil bent down to touch his toes, glancing at Andrew from where his upper body dangled. “See?”
Andrew very pointedly turned and walked towards the bedroom. Neil straightened up and glanced down at the jorts again, wondering if they were horrible or something. Whatever - Neil liked them, so they were staying. His mood brightened again when the front door opened again, and Kevin walked inside.
“Hey Kevin, look at what I got.”
“What the hell are those?”
~*~
Neil didn’t realize that moving would be such a process.
He and Andrew had finally settled on an apartment to move into together, which meant that Neil had to pack up all his things and move them. They were still settling in, breaking open boxes and trying to decide what they would need to still get. The giant beanbag chair was their only piece of furniture in the living room so far, and they’d only just gotten a bed, so they would need to make a run to a few stores. At least they had everything for cooking.
“Oh,” Neil said, grabbing the gray sheets he’d been using for years. “Hey, we can make the bed.”
“Will it fit?” Andrew asked, eyes narrowing at the sight of them.
“They’re just sheets,” Neil replied.
Apparently, the gray sheets were for a twin bed, like the one in the dorm. Neil hadn’t seen the point in getting a large bed while living alone, so he could keep using them in the past, but it was clear that the gray ones wouldn’t fit their now-larger bed.
“Well, I guess we need some sheets,” Neil mumbled after failing to get the sheets over the mattress.
“Yes,” Andrew agreed. He glanced at the ones Neil was holding onto. “What’re you going to do with those?”
Neil didn’t know. He glanced down at them with a frown, trying to think of what they could be used for. A spare blanket, maybe? He’d heard of making sheets into curtains, which they didn’t have, either. Or maybe they could be very large towels.
None of those ideas sounded quite right.
“I don’t know,” Neil eventually settled on.
“You can get rid of them,” Andrew suggested.
Neil froze when Andrew mentioned that. He could get rid of them - do something like donate them. He probably should, given the fact that they wouldn’t be needed anymore, but Neil didn’t want to. He wasn’t sure why, because there was nothing important about the sheets, they were just his. These weren’t ones he’d had loaned to him, these weren’t ones that the school owned, these weren’t ones that were from a motel room in the middle of nowhere. Neil had gone to a store, picked out ones that he wanted, and bought them. Out of everything he could get, having his own bed sheets were a symbol that he was staying. And everyone else had surely seen that, even if Neil hadn’t at the time.
That’s why he didn’t want to get rid of them, even if they’d have no purpose because he and Andrew were now living together, and they’d had a bigger bed than what Neil had for the past two years. It made no sense .
“Or we can get a guest room,” Andrew added.
“What would we need a guest room for?” Neil asked, holding more tightly to the sheets.
“If someone visits.”
“Why?”
Andrew shrugged. Neil didn’t push again, looking down at the sheets once more. He liked that idea, and he didn’t have to say anything to know that Andrew saw that. “Yes,” he said, just to make it official.
They stood in silence for another moment. “We can get a storage locker,” Andrew said.
“I know,” Neil replied. It was almost scary that he didn’t want to get rid of anything now that he had it. He didn’t want to become a hoarder, it’s just that he’d never been able to take more than he could carry. He’d get used to it and get rid of things further down the line. This was a good enough option for now.
“Then let go of the sheets.” Andrew walked towards the front door, jangling his keys loudly. “Come on. Let’s get another bed.”
Slowly, Neil did let go of them, watching as they fell to the ground in a heap. He didn’t bother folding them or moving them to a better place, and stepped over them so that he could get to the front door, sliding on his shoes. As they walked, Neil tried to tell himself that it wasn’t a bad thing to have things or hold onto them, either. They represented the words he’d spoken in the past - just another symbol that he would stay.