Work Text:
Even as one of the best in their Potions class, Scorpius could admit that this essay about ‘The Most Efficient Ingredients for Skele Gro’ was particularly difficult. It was hard to get any homework done on top of revising for practise tests for their many O.W.L.S. It was even harder when all your brain wanted to think about was your best friend’s gorgeous smile. Or bright green eyes. Or the sound of their voice. Or his-
Scorpius had a problem.
Reluctantly, he began collecting his belongings with a sigh, slipping them back into his bag. As frustrating as it was, he knew there was no way he was going to get this essay done now with everything circling around his head.
Scorpius has slowly been coming to terms with the fact that he had a crush on Albus. He had only ever had one friend in his life (aside from Hector, but as he was imaginary, he didn't really count) but from his limited experience, he didn’t think it was customary to fantasise about what it would be like to kiss your friends or hold their hands or spend your life with them. And he was almost certain that Albus didn’t think that way about him.
So he had a problem.
Feeling slightly disappointed in himself, he made his way down to the dorms, muttering the password ‘Addercadabra’ (courtesy of the very exuberant Head of Slytherin that year). He had always been good at focusing on his work, no matter what was going on. It was his outlet, his one escape. But today, for some reason, it just wasn’t cutting it. He had to get his thoughts out. There was only one thing he could think to try.
When his mum had passed, there were still so many things he wanted to tell her that he couldn’t anymore, and they just built as time went further onwards. On a particularly difficult day, Scorpius had confided in his dad for help, who had suggested that he try writing what he wanted to say in a letter as if he would send it, then locking it in a drawer.
It had been working for his dad for a while, since he had been recommended it by a friend, and so Scorpius gave it a go and it quietened his head greatly. It didn’t fix everything, but it helped and now, whenever Scorpius found himself wanting to tell anyone something that he just couldn’t, he wrote it down and sealed it away, out of his mind.
And now, it seems, he had to write a letter to Albus, to file some thoughts that he would never send. Once in the dorm room, Scorpius dropped his bag on the bed and knelt down to search through his bedside table for letters and envelopes, but to no avail. He sat back on his heels, running a hand through his hair. Perhaps Albus had some letters for writing to his family?
Scorpius hopped over to the other side of the room, rifling through some of the things in Albus’ drawer. He had papers, quills, sweets, photos, string, a shoe that he’d lost (which the blond placed by the bed instead) and some spare coins and Scorpius wondered how the boy could find anything in all that chaos.
Finally, he found an unopened set of letters and envelopes. As they shared each other’s stuff all the time, he was sure Albus wouldn’t mind if he opened it and took some to the desk. It was a very nice set, with the backs of the letters a deep red and the envelopes matching. How very apt, he thought with a grin. Red was often associated with love.
Scorpius dipped the quill into the ink pot, biting his lip in thought, then put nib to page.
Dear Albus,
I have something which I would really like to tell you. The problem is, I don’t quite know how to say it, and I know that I really shouldn’t because it will ruin everything and I can’t lose you, but I’m writing it in a letter to you because I can’t stop thinking about it and hopefully I won’t have to deal with it after this. It’s frustrating because usually when I have something stuck in my head, I can offload on you. But I can’t tell you this.
You see, what ‘this’ is, is that I have completely accidentally but definitely, utterly fallen for you. I can’t stop thinking about you, your face, your voice, your laugh. All of it. I just want to spend all day with you, making memories together and loving you. I cherish every moment we have spent together, and there are so many times I’ve been so close to telling you how I feel.
Like that day we were outside by the lake doing homework and it tipped it down with rain out of nowhere and you gave me your robes for protection because I don’t like getting wet, and you let me have them the whole way back up to the castle. You got soaked but you were willing to lend them to me anyway. I felt so much love from you that day and I wanted to just go around telling everyone how kind you are. But I didn’t.
Or last week, when you were telling me about how James had got drunk on fire whiskey and you had to take him back to his common room from the Room of Requirement. You were laughing so much about how he ended up somehow breaking one of the armchairs, you looked lovely and bright and happy. It was hard to listen to your story because I kept getting distracted by how much I wanted to kiss you. But I didn’t.
Because I just, I know, that this isn’t normal to think about your best friend. I want more than just friendship from you but you would never want that, I mean, it would be silly to think you’d want to date me. I’d hate to make you feel uncomfortable or lose you. And I know we’re just friends, there isn’t any space for crushes between us. You probably even have other people that you fancy yourself, although you’ve never told me. It would kill me inside to hear it but there must be someone you like. And I know I said I have liked Rose in the past, but I think that really became a way for me to ignore my true feelings for you. I realised I wanted her more as a friend, as she’s pretty cool. But it’s always been you.
The thing I think about is that Mum once said that she knew Dad was the one because she never felt the need to be anyone but herself around him, it was all so easy. She said that’s when you know you’ve found your person, the one who will always be there no matter what.
And you’re the only person I’ve met who I think of when I imagine that, who made me feel that comfortable and welcomed like she talked about.
It’s one of my favourite things about you, how accepting and kind you are but there are so many. I love that when you have coffee every morning, you put exactly three and a half spoonfuls of sugar in it every time. I love that when you see someone’s cat walking along the corridor, you spend ten minutes saying hello no matter where you have to be. I love that you put your socks on in the mornings before any of your uniform. I love that you slip secret sweets or notes to your little cousins when they look tired or stressed in the library, without even saying it’s from you.
And I know that I go on a lot and this is now becoming really off topic and convoluted like everything I say and I could go on forever so basically to sum everything up and just to be clear, I love you. Not like a friend loves a friend, like the way Cinderella loves Prince Charming.
I’ve loved you for a long time and I think I’m going to keep loving you forever if you’ll let me and don’t get bored of me. You’re my person. And that’s it, really, I just had to get that out.
From your best friend,
Scorpius Malfoy
With a sigh, he sat back, staring at the letter in his hands. There. It was all out of his system and hopefully now he could concentrate on his work.
He read it over once and slipped the letter into the scarlet envelope. In the back of his mind he vaguely registered a hoot as he penned Albus’ name on the front and pushed it back on the desk. But as soon as Scorpius did and turned away to put the ink pot back, wings flapped around the room and there was another loud hoot and the slight ruffling of feathers.
He whipped back to be face to face with Albus’s owl, sitting on the desk and edging closer to the letter.
Oh. Oh no, that wasn’t good.
That bird seemed to have it in for him ever since Scorpius had accidentally spilt his water all over her wings at breakfast. And as he shook his head at the owl, it looked at him as if it knew what he didn’t want. He lunged forward to grab the letter but the bird swiped it into her beak.
Fiddlesticks.
Scorpius watched with dread as Al’s owl flew off the desk and glided out of the window. What had he done? Why had he been so stupid as to address that letter? He racked his brain, trying to think of the most likely place Albus was. He might just be able to get to his best friend before that bird did. Running out of the door, Scorpius knew he had no choice. Albus could never read that letter.
***
Albus left the classroom, turning down the slightly crowded corridor. The Weasley kids' Christmas planning meetings never got less chaotic, but he still found it hard to get used to that many people in one room.
He listened as Lily and his cousin Lucy discussed what bird would be best to train as a pet as they left. The conversation had sparked after Albus had let it slip that his dad was afraid of pigeons and he mostly kept quiet but was chiming in every now and then.
“People would probably naturally say that owls are the best because they are always seen as the cleverest but it depends what homework. Woodpeckers might be good at Potions because they could break the ingredients for you with their hard beaks or collect things.” Lily suggested.
“Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to train a woodpecker to do your charms homework for you, would you?” Lucy argued.
“I think you’d better stick to owls, Lilu.” Albus told her, flicking one of her plaits. She shoved his hand away with a frown.
“You both have no ambition for the birds, and you’re meant to be ambitious as a Slytherin.” She sulked, poking her brother in the arm and Albus feigned a look of hurt and was about to respond when a hand on his back yanked him to the side. He tried to escape from their grasp but they just squeezed his shoulder tighter.
“Chillax, shorty. It’s only me.” Albus heard his brother's voice and rolled his eyes. “I’ve been trying to catch up with you, you raced off.”
“Okay, one. I didn’t race off, you’re just really slow because you insist on curtsying to everyone as they leave. And two, don’t call me short, I’m catching you up, and I’m younger. What exactly is it you want, anyway.” He asked, finally wriggling free from James.
“What do you think? I didn’t want to bring it up in front of the whole fam, but we need to start working on our performance for the Christmas Weasley Talent Show.” he announced, framing an invisible sign in the air. “I swear, if Lil’s and Mum win one more time ‘cos of her stupid amazing dancing, I will stuff her ballet shoes into the turkey.”
“Please don’t. Mum’s cooking is bad enough without roast satin in the mix.” Both boys grimaced at the thought. “Do we really need to start working on it two months early? I know you wanna win, but…”
“Are you kidding?” James burst out loudly, then suddenly looked shiftly around to see if he’d caught someone’s attention. He pulled Albus to the side, lowering his voice. “From what I heard, Fleur and their gang have had their performance planned since July and Freddie’s joke book is now so full I think he could last three Christmasses. Oh, and apparently…” He trailed off.
“Apparently what? Hurry up, I’ve got homework.”
“No, sorry, is that your owl?” James asked, looking over Albus’ shoulder. The shorter boy turned to see his tawny owl, Octavia, flying towards them as the students parted to let her through. He titled his head in confusion.
“Yeah, it...it is. What’s she doing h-?” He got his answer almost immediately as she dropped a letter on his head and glided away. He had tried to train her to get better aim but had never succeeded. It’s possible she was doing it on purpose.
Albus picked up the letter from where it had slipped off his head, the confused look still on his face. Who was sending him a letter in the middle of the day? He got his answer to that pretty quickly too in the answer of Scorpius Malfoy.
His best friend ran round the corner, cheeks pink and hair now a dishevelled mess. His eyes scanned wildly before landing on Albus and relief flooded his system, as he stumbled over.
“Albus! I found you, Albus, please, please, don’t open that letter. Just don’t-” James cut off the blond with a laugh.
“Oh my, Merlin Scorpius. That’s a Howler! Why’ve you sent Albus a Howler?”
Scorpius paled. This had just gone from bad to worse. Of course, that was why the red envelope was so familiar. Oh, stupid stupid Scorpius. How was he going to get out of this one?
“Um, is this like a...joke or something?” Albus laughed nervously. He felt slightly caught off guard and the questions he had were increasing in his mind by the second. Scorpius shook his head desperately.
“No! No, it’s...it’s a mistake, it wasn’t meant to be sent to you, as in, you weren’t meant to see it but also it wasn’t supposed to be a Howler and...oh, I’ve really messed up.” He threw his hands over his face.
“Ok. Well. I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m gonna have to open it.” The blond’s head whipped up, eyes wide in fear. He noticed that Albus’ family had circled back, crowding around now to watch the exchange.
“No, you can’t, please, don’t.”
“Guys, if you leave a Howler unopened, bad things happen.” James advised.
“Ok, I don’t know about that but it’s getting hotter.” Albus’ fingers were starting to get slightly pinker as he held it.
“You have to open it, then it’ll stop burning you.”
“No, please, it’ll ruin everything. I can...I’ll take it back.” Scorpius begged, now feeling nauseous from the panic.
“No, that doesn’t work, it has to be opened by-”
“Oh, SCREW it. Scorp, whatever you’ve bloody written, I don’t care. My hands are on fire now, I’m opening it!” Albus ripped open the letter as Scorpius tried to lunge forward and stop him. It was too late.
His heart was pounding as the letter flew out and his words started sounding around the corridor. All the words he’d written. About Albus. His feelings for Albus. Scorpius wanted to run. He wanted to run and hide and never have someone look at him again, because then no one could ever look at him the way everyone in the corridor was now. The way he imagined Albus would look at him, angry and disgusted as he told Scorpius to go away and never talk to him again. He wanted to run, but he couldn’t. His legs seemed stuck to the floor.
Scorpius chanced a glance at Albus, with his eyes becoming increasingly teary, and saw him staring at the letter in shock. But his face was a blank slate, he couldn’t work out what Albus was thinking at all. He felt sick. There was a ringing in his ears, so loud he couldn’t hear the words of the letter.
All he knew was that he was going to lose his best friend. After everything, he’d lose Albus too because there was no way he’d be okay with Scorpius after this. It was all his fault. With his stupid feelings and stupid decision to write a stupid letter and stupid-
There was silence.
The letter was done, burning up into a pile of ash on the ground. Just pounding in his head. And then sounds and feelings flew back in, everything hit him like a train, the whispers around him and the shaking in his legs and how hard it was to take a breath. Scorpius didn’t dare look up. He couldn’t bear to see his best friend’s reaction, he just had to get away before Albus could say anything.
“I’m sorry.” he uttered in a strained voice, turning to quickly move through the corridor, a few tears now escaping.
A warm hand wrapped around his wrist before he could leave. “Scorpius, wait. It’s ok.” Albus said gently, tugging his arm. “Hey, look at me.”
Scorpius shook his head. “You don’t have to...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean this.” He said quietly. Albus frowned.
“Didn’t mean what, was the letter a mistake? Did you not mean what it said?” he asked, disappointment laced in his tone and his hand loosened from his friend’s arm. Scorpius looked up then, a pained expression on his face and Albus’ heart twinged with sympathy.
“No, I did mean it. I meant it all, that’s the problem. I didn’t ever mean for you to find out.”
“Then why would you address it?” Lily asked genuinely from behind them. Scorpius didn’t have an answer to that and fell speechless.
“I don’t...I’m not…I’m sorry.”
“Scorpius, are you not hearing me? I said, it’s ok!” Albus stressed, with a nervous laugh. “You don’t have to keep saying sorry.”
“What do you mean, it’s ok?” Scorpius murmured, quizzically. Albus took a breath, then looked away, finally letting go of the blond’s hand. “Albus?”
“Ok, look. Seeing as you’ve dropped yourself in it, I might as well say.” He stared up at the ceiling. “I like you too. Like, a lot. For a while now. I wasn’t going to say anything, because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. But because you’ve said something…” he trailed off.
“Oh.” Scorpius blinked. “Are you just having me on right now, or are you being serious.”
“Oh, trust me. He’s totally telling the truth, I should know. Talks about you all. The. Time. It’s really ann-”
“Shut up, Jamie.” Albus glared at him, face now red. Scorpius let out a nervous laugh.
“Well, I didn’t expect that. But that’s...good, I mean, great, terrific. Hah. Cool.” He gave an awkward finger gun towards the brunette. There was a long pause.
“So...so do you want to go to the Halloween dance together?” Albus suggested hesitantly.
“Do you mean as...more than friends?”
“Well, yes. What do you think?”
Scorpius nodded with his bottom lip between his teeth. His cheeks were still rosy, eyebrows furrowed and fingers fiddling with his tie.
“Ok…great!” Albus said, and there was an awkward pause where they only stared at each other. There were a few murmurs from the crowd around them who were all still watching.
Then, a hand shoved Albus’ back and he stumbled forward. “Oh, for goodness sake, do we have to spell it out for you.” James mumbled. “KISS HIM, YOU IDIOT!”
Albus rolled his eyes at his brother, before turning back to the blond boy and swallowing. “Do you...do you want me to kiss you?”
Scorpius paused, then inched a little closer. “Do you want to kiss me?” he asked softly. Albus said nothing, but took a couple of steps forward too, so their feet were now almost touching. He could hear more impatient mumbles from the rest of his family but tried to block them out.
He hadn’t ever kissed anyone before and he didn’t really fancy doing it in front of his various family members but he didn’t know if he would get the chance to again. And the way Scorpius was looking at him, hopeful yet nervous but oh so desperate and adorable and there was no way he could let this opportunity go.
So he placed a shaky hand on Scorpius’ cheek, tipped his head down gently and leant up to press their lips together.
They both froze for a beat, before relaxing, melting into each other, like two puzzle pieces clicking together. Albus felt both a shiver run through him and like he was on fire. He briefly panicked about what you actually do in a kiss but that thought quickly fell away and everything focused on the blond boy in front of him. Scorpius, his best friend. Scorpius, so perfect and adorable. Scorpius, his absolute soulmate. Scorpius, who felt so soft and warm and safe against him that he wanted to never let go, ever. Albus wondered why they hadn’t done this before.
After what felt like forever, but also less than a second, they pulled away, opening their eyes slowly to try and savour the moment. They were silent for a beat as they both stared at each other, with equally rosy cheeks and wide eyes, both boys quite unsure what to say. What to do. What to think.
“Nice job, Al.” Someone shouted, breaking the silence for them and another added a whoop and a little clap. And of course, when one of them started, that meant the whole family had to join in. So as the pair looked round, all of Albus’ cousins and siblings began clapping and laughing and cheering for their kiss.
Albus fondly rolled his eyes at his family, giggling at the ridiculousness of the situation that had developed over the last ten minutes. He wasn’t quite sure what they were so excited about, they hadn’t just kissed anyone and it wasn’t as if he had proposed. But he loved them for it all the same. Only the Weasleys...
However, his brain didn’t focus on that for long because it was drawn back to gazing at his best friend. Who he had just kissed.
“Okay. Hello, um, have we kissed before? Do we kiss?” Albus whispered to Scorpius, teasingly. His heart leapt when Scorpius beamed and looked away with a giggle.
He grasped Albus’ hands with a little excited rock on his tiptoes, “I can’t believe you remember that. But yes, please, can we kiss, can we add kissing to the list of activities that we do now because I rather liked that. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely interested in keeping this going, but obviously only if you want to, but wow, you’re nice to kiss.” Albus chuckled slightly. Oh, his Scorpius was so adorably awkward.
“Thanks, and you know you’re also...nice to kiss.” He paused, letting out a content sigh. The babble of kids had now died down and the corridor was clearing quickly as they made their way to various common rooms, finally giving them some peace. “It’s a shame that the Howler ripped itself up. I would have liked to keep that letter.”
“I mean, I can write another if it means that much, the words are now probably ingrained in my brain, after that shockingly embarass-” Scorpius was cut off by Albus being grabbed by James.
“Aw, oh my goodness, your first kiss, it’s like you’re all grown up! Congrats, little bro.” He hugged his brother, shaking him around whilst Albus tried to shove him off.
“Jamesss!” He whined, stumbling back almost into Scorpius as he was released. Both boys laughed at Albus’ irritated frown.
“No, I’m genuinely happy for you guys. But word of warning, Al, if you wanna tell Mum first you’d better be quick about it because the next time Lily even sees an owl she’s probably gonna gush all about it.” He ruffled his little brother's hair. “I can’t believe you managed to get a date before me, your infinitely handsomer older brother.”
“I mean, I’d beg to differ with that more handsome bit.” Scorpius pointed out, and Albus blushed.
“Well, we’ll leave you two love birds to it. I expect you have a lot to talk about.” He said with a wink, strolling off towards the rest of his gang.
Albus held out his hand. “Common room?”
“Common room.” Scorpius took it and they wandered through the corridor, fingers interlaced.
Albus grinned, still a bit overwhelmed and giddy by everything that had happened over such a short amount of time. His first love letter, his first kiss, his first...boyfriend?? They could work that out later. He certainly hadn’t ever thought that his first kiss would be in front of his entire family, but it could have been a lot worse than it was. In fact, it was strangely rather heart-warming to have so much support from them.
Besides, judging how the afternoon had gone, there would be plenty more chances for them to share kisses now, without an audience. Just the two of them together.