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Castiel’s phone chirps at him from inside his pocket while he is driving down the interstate. He is on his way home from his search for Claire. He’d hoped she would want to come back with him, and allow him to take care of her. Even though things didn’t turn out how he wanted, as long as Claire is happy, that’s all that matters to him.
His phone beeps again and he decides that he should probably pull over, considering that most likely the texts that keep coming through are from Dean. He turns on his blinker and slides the Continental onto the shoulder and puts her into park. He digs his phone out of his pocket and unlocks the screen to find three texts waiting for him.
Dean
You find Claire?
5:08pm
Dean
I felt bad leaving her with those crazies, but I just couldn’t stay. I couldn’t trust myself not to do something dumb.
5:11pm
Dean
Cas?
5:15pm
Cas’s fingers fly over the screen, quickly typing out a response.
Fifteen miles away, Dean sits at the table in the main room of the bunker, fingers wrapped around the neck of a bottle of beer, eyes trained on his phone, waiting. He knows he fucked up and he shouldn’t expect Cas to say anything that would ease his mind with the possibility that maybe Cas still does have faith in him. He shouldn’t not after Metatron, not after the past few days. His phone dings and Dean scrambles to grab it off the table, almost flinging it across the room in his haste.
Cas
I found her. She has decided that she wishes to continue on her own, though she asked me to call her, which I will do so at least once a week. I think she will be alright.
5:16pm
Dean sighs in relief. He hadn’t wanted to leave Claire, but when the couple she’d been hanging with started to go after him, the rush of blood lust he felt was too strong and he knew that if he stayed there any longer he would have killed them all. He had no choice but to run.
Dean
Good. You alright?
5:17pm
Cas smiles in the dusky light, a small little toothy grin. Nothing is going right and Dean is losing control of himself yet he still cares.
Cas
I’m fine. How are you feeling?
5:19pm
Dean
Like hell.
5:20pm
Dean
That was a bad joke, sorry. :p
5:20pm
Cas
You have a strange sense of humor, Dean. O_o
5:21pm
Dean chuckles, an easy smile spreading across his face.
Dean
I could say the same about you. :)
5:22pm
Cas
I suppose you are correct. :D Do you feel worse?
5:23pm
Dean
Not really worse just... it’s stronger ya know? Like I can’t stop thinking about killing even though I don’t want to. :/
5:25pm
Dean clicks the green send button and takes another swig of beer. His eyes are drawn down to the angry, jagged scar on his arm. It burns, almost constantly now, not in a painful way but more of an ache, an itch. When he kills, the itch subsides, just a little and then soon after the ache comes back even stronger than before. It’s then that his pulse quickens and he feels angry, so angry that he wants to chop into the next person who comes into his vicinity, regardless of who it is. The worst part is that he doesn’t want to kill, at least not consciously, he just wants everything to go away. He feels too much, hurts too much. If he thought killing himself would help any, he’d of already done it weeks ago, but that would do no good, he’d just become a demon again.
Cas
We will fix this, Dean. I promise. <3
5:26pm
Dean freezes, reads the text, then re-reads it again just to make sure he read it right. Did Cas just send him a heart? A less than 3? He knows that Cas loves emoticons so obviously he’s gotta know what that means. Hearts are probably the sappiest and most coupley emoticons you can send to someone, let alone your best friend.
Dean
Yeah, I’m sure we’ll find a way somehow, but uh... Cas, why the <3?
5:30pm
Cas
I thought it would be appropriate. Is it not? :(
5:31pm
Uh oh. Dean can practically see the frown on Cas’s face as he stares down at his phone. If Dean could teleport, he would be able to see that Cas is indeed frowning at his phone, his eyebrows knotted up in confusion.
Dean
Why do you think it’s appropriate?
5:32pm
Cas
The less than 3 symbol or the heart is meant to convey love, correct?
5:33pm
Dean
Yeah, but usually hearts stand for... romantic love.
5:35pm
Cas
Exactly ;)
5:36pm
Dean’s heart beat is starting to quicken again and not because he wants to kill something. Mostly because he’s pretty sure his best friend just confessed to being in love with him over text message through emoticon and he doesn’t know how the hell he is supposed to respond to that, so he sends the first response that pops into his head.
Dean
Exactly?
5:37pm
Cas groans, nearly throwing his phone into the empty passenger seat in frustration.
Cas
Dean Winchester, do you really think I do not love you? >:(
5:38pm
Dean
Well, I’ve done some nasty shit lately and you know there was that time I was a demon so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.
5:39pm
Cas
I wouldn’t care if you were a demon who brought on the second apocalypse and killed the entirety of the human race, I would still love you. (*^3^)/~☆
5:40pm
Oh. Oh shit. Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. All he knows is his throat is closed up, he can’t breathe, his hands are shaking and he’s laughing uncontrollably because only Cas would follow up a sentence holding that much meaning with a friggin’ blowing kiss emoticon.
Dean is not sure of a lot of things right now. He’s not sure whether he’ll be alive, dead or human in a few months. He’s not sure if the mark will ever leave him or even if there is a way to cure him of this curse. But if there is one thing he is certain of it is the next message he sends.
Dean
Well, I <3 you too, Cas.
5:43pm