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After his father’s death, Kakashi started making regular visits to the memorial stone. Back then it had served as a reminder more than anything else. A reminder of Sakumo Hatake, and the decisions he had made. It was in that field, staring at the name carved into rock that Kakashi decided that he would never make the same mistake that his father had. He swore to follow the rules and orders of his superiors, and above all else: always prioritize the mission.
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It wasn’t too long until he found himself breaking his promise.
Obito Uchiha was a mystery to Kakashi. Like him, Obito’s parents had both died, leaving him alone and different then the other kids. Unlike Kakashi, he always came in last at the Academy, and he had the Uchiha clan breathing down his neck and putting constant pressure on him to do better, be better, and how long was it going to be before he finally developed his Sharingan? Compared to Kakashi, Obito was weak, both in his skills as a shinobi, and in his determination. Obito had broken down into tears several times on missions, always with an excuse of something getting in his eyes. But despite everything, Obito managed to carry an air of positivity and hope that confused Kakashi to no end. He couldn’t understand Obito’s open displays of emotion and compassion, when Kakashi wore a constant mask of indifference to suppress and hide his feelings.
Obito intrigued Kakashi, and this caused him to seek the boy out more often than anyone else their age. Kakashi wasn’t used to trying to understand other people though, and his attention usually took the form of insults and fighting, to try and break the other’s spirit. Obito remained cheerful however, and it began rubbing off on Kakashi. The words the Uchiha said to Kakashi at Kannabi Bridge took root in his mind, and it spurred him to go against his morals and run to save Obito and Rin.
That day, Obito managed to mystify Kakashi one last time as he gave his newly awakened Sharingan to Kakashi before dying beneath the rock that was supposed to have killed Kakashi instead.
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The change remained in Kakashi after the mission, and he began adopting some of Obito’s habits and personality to try and recreate some of that positivity that he had lost along with his teammate. He spent more time at the memorial stone, showing up late to meetings and appointments after sitting in front of the memorial for hours at a time. Other people noticed the shift in Kakashi’s behavior, and some tried to reach out to him. Rin wanted to help, but she was struggling with grief of her own. Minato-sensei was always busy worrying about his duties and his family. Anyway, it’s not as though Kakashi would have listened to anything they would have had to say. He was too busy throwing himself even harder into training and all his free time was spent tracing the names of his father and teammate turned hero.
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After the other two members of Team Seven died, Kakashi began sleeping at the memorial stone. The first couple times had been unintentional; he tended to stay sitting out there until well into the night and was typically worn out from brutal training and lack of sleep. He started sleeping there on purpose though, after he noticed that he could spend the night peacefully if he were at the memorial stone. The nightmare didn’t follow him there. Those terrible dreams where his teammates were killed in front of his eyes, again and again, while Kakashi stood unable to move and unable to save them as they bled out and pleaded, crying, for him to help them, please Kakashi, help them. Worst of all were the dreams where they didn’t die, but instead stood over Kakashi and spoke the words he feared most: that it was his fault they were gone. It was his fault Obito was crushed, his hand through Rin’s chest, his fault that he wasn’t there to protect Minato-sensei and his wife.
Sleeping at the memorial stone was an escape from the nights of torment and guilt. Besides, there was no one left to tell him to go home.
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Kakashi was older now. He had three young shinobi he was responsible for, and he was no longer a grieving child. Though he would still spend nights at the memorial stone whenever the past threatened to keep him awake. That was why Kakashi was currently shivering slightly in the night air as he read the names of all the people he had ever considered important to him; all the people he had failed to protect.
That was also why, when a man hidden under a red and black cloak with a swirled mask stepped into the field from between the trees, he found Kakashi slumped against the stone asleep. The figure stepped closer, making sure to suppress his chakra and hide his presence as to not awaken the shinobi sleeping before him. The masked man observed Kakashi’s relaxed figure, with a familiar urge to pull down that mask and finally get a glimpse of the face hidden underneath. Such childish interests were of no use to the man now; he had greater goals. Still, he could not help but linger, soaking in the presence of his childhood friend and only remaining member of his old team. The masked man could not figure out what kept drawing him back to visit Kakashi, who had failed to keep his promise and had been unable to protect their teammate.
Eventually the masked man walked back into the trees and whirled away with his single remaining sharingan.
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As the sun began to rise, Kakashi woke with a stiff neck and clothes slightly damp from the morning dew, just as he had so many times before. As he rose to go to his apartment for a shower and change of clothes, Kakashi paused. Draped over him was a blanket that Kakashi did not remember falling asleep with. Had someone found him last night? One of his genin maybe, or even Gai or Kurenai?
Then Kakashi noticed the basket sitting on the ground next to him. He looked inside and found it was full of food. There was some fruit, a few containers of rice, and what looked like several homemade bentos. At the bottom of the basket was a small note. Kakashi picked it up and read what was written. His uncovered eye widened in shock as he finished it, and he sucked in a shaky breath before smiling and chuckling softly.
You should really take better care of yourself. You’ll end up catching a cold if you keep sleeping outside, stupid Bakashi.
