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This is not the dinner Gong Jun was expecting. When his senior, his co-star, Zhang Zhehan invited him for dinner, he was expecting to be brought to a fancy restaurant he knows his Zhang-laoshi frequents to. Or maybe he can bring him again to his favorite hotpot place in Shanghai, tease him for being a baby with spice. Then maybe, they can snag a few drinks, Zhang-laoshi will get drunk again, like the first they had dinner just the two of them, and he will have to carry him again back to his apartment.
What he did not expect though is Zhehan bringing him to his apartment directly after their last schedule for the day. When he entered his apartment, his nose was greeted by a familiar spice and aromatic smell. The sound of knives chopping something and the comforting boiling pot tells him that they are not alone in his apartment.
“You’re home, Xiao Han?” a sweet nasal voice calls.
Gong Jun halts. “Junjun, come here, try if this soup is okay.” He gasps. His Zhang-laoshi's ma is standing in front of him, blowing on the steaming ladle of soup. She feeds it Gong Jun’s open mouth. He instinctively ducks, slurps the soup down, and licks his lips.
“How is it? Is it too salty? Bland? Is it too spicy for you? Should I add more soy sauce?” she asks, staring at Gong Jun expectantly.
“I-its okay, Auntie. Really good.” he laughs nervously and spares a glance at his Zhang-laoshi.
“Don’t look at me like that, Junjun. She said I’m not allowed to enter this apartment If I don’t bring you back for dinner,” he says. He opened the fridge to take out a can of beer, and he drinks.
His ma smiles at Gong Jun and walks to the stove to turn it off. She ladled some soup over a bowl of egg noodles, then she sprinkled a generous amount of chopped spring onions on top.
“Xiao Han, bring the other dishes to the table. Come, Junjun, let’s sit at the table.” she grabs Gong Jun by the arm, pulling him to sit beside her. “I tried to cook some of your favorite dishes. Look, this is the braised tofu you love. Your ma even shared your ba’s recipe with me. Here, try this chicken, the spice is only mild.” she picks a piece of chicken and piles it on top of his bowl and — wait.
“My ma? She- uhh.. you? Ah, huh?”
He hears Zhehan’s laugh from the kitchen, approaching them with two more plates of dishes.
“Lao ma and your ma are best friends now. They talk in WeChat every day.” he fills in, grinning at Gong Jun.
“Aiyah, we’re all like family here. Your ma is very sweet, Junjun. No wonder you’re such a well-behaved boy.” she smiles at him and pets the top of his head softly. She hands him the bowl of spicy noodles, and Gong Jun ponders what’s the meaning of the soft look she just gave him. That’s what occupied his head for the rest of their dinner.
"I saw a video on Douyin, Junjun. I heard only the men in your family cooks?" Zhang-laoshi’s ma asks. They're both sitting in a cross sitting position in front of the television, in tandem while they crack a basket of walnuts.
"Oh hehehe. Yes, Auntie. The ladies in our family only rest, they’ll play mahjong while we clean and cook for them." he says.
Auntie hums. “No wonder Xiao Han always brags about how you take care of him. He’s a stubborn child, I can’t believe I’ve been raising that child for 30 years now.” she sighs as she hands Gong Jun another walnut to crack.
Gong Jun laughs, nodding his head to approve. “I totally agree with you, Auntie. Zhang-laoshi is like a mad cat, I don’t dare oppose him.”
"Lao ma, what are you gossiping with Junjun about."
He turns to his Zhang-laoshi at the door, he’s in the middle of removing his shoes off. He was sent away by his ma to grab them a few snacks.
He squats in front of them and his face immediately twists at the sight of walnuts.
"Lao ma! What are these little human brains for?" he points at the bowl of cracked nuts, looking offended.
"What brains are you talking about? Wen Kexing loves them, and so does Gong Jun," she says and gets up to return to the kitchen.
"But I don't! Both I and Zhou Zishu don't like them. They're disgusting!" Zhang-laoshi counters back.
Gong Jun shakes his head, smiling softly as he gathers the shells of walnuts into a plastic bag. He stood up as well and followed them in the kitchen.
“They taste disgusting, they make your mouth dry. It doesn’t even have a flavor!” he exclaims, still glaring at the bowl.
His ma ignores him and she turns to Gong Jun instead.
"So Junjun, what do you think of our Xiao Han?"
There was silence. Gong Jun certainly did not expect that.
"Lao ma!" Zhehan tried to cover her mouth, but she slides to the side.
"You don't have a girlfriend, right, Junjun? Aiyah, both of you single dogs are not getting any younger! You need to hurry and find a good housewife or a househusban--"
She did not finish her sentence when Zhehan pulls her out of the kitchen.
Gong Jun was rendered speechless. This was definitely not the dinner he expected.
Zhehan enters the kitchen again, looking shy. "I'm sorry about that Junjun. Lao ma is just lonely these days so she keeps on pesterin--"
"What do you think about it?" Gong Jun asks.
Zhehan looks at him, puzzled.
"What do you think about the idea of settling down, retirement, and-- finding a housewife?" Gong Jun repeats the question, this time he got more specific, not so brave about that last one though.
He doesn't dare look up to Zhehan. He's scared of what expression he wears on his face at this moment so he chose to glare at the floor.
He hears Zhehan sigh, breathless with a hint of desperation.
He can see from the corner of his eyes that Zhehan is approaching him.
He takes a step forward, then another and another until he's in front of Gong Jun.
"Junjun" he calls.
And Gong Jun wants to melt at how soft his nickname resonated when it came out from Zhang-laoshi’s mouth.
He still doesn't look up to him though and he stubbornly hangs his head down.
Gong Jun gasps when Zhehan pushed him against the sink.
“Look at me, you puppy.” and there, he finally looks at Zhehan.
Gong Jun gasps even louder when he saw that look in Zhehan’s eyes again.
The look of desire, fear, and fondness that makes Gong Jun's knees wobble every single time.
For the record, Zhehan has shown him that look four times already, adding the now, it all comes down to five times and Gong Jun wants to cry at how proud he is of himself. Proud of how he managed to survive that first time, the second, and until now, he meets that gaze for the fifth time.
"Junjun." he calls out again
"Y-yes, Zhang-laoshi." his response barely, he's distracted by how their bodies are almost pressed together.
"I want to build a house, Junjun. " he starts and for a second, Gong Jun forgot about what they were even talking about. But Zhehan continues, "I want to buy a few areas of land and build a house. Plant trees around the property and set up a garden. I'll get another dog, so Lufei doesn't get lonely, and maybe a cat too so that they can all play together. I could retire anytime Junjun, I'm ready whenever." Zhehan’s eyes on Gong Jun never faltered, constantly, it was always constant on him.
Gong Jun tilts his head, "How about, h-how about finding a housewife?"
Gong Jun wants to turn away again, he wants to glare at the floor again or most preferably shut all of his senses to not hear the next words of Zhehan. He's afraid but he wants to try his luck on his Zhang-laoshi. He wants to at least try, even if it sounds impossible.
Gong Jun sucks a breath, preparing his idiotic puppy expression to display once Zhehan answers his question but to his surprise,
"There's no housewife Junjun."
But to his surprise, and like, actual surprise because he squawked so loud like a bird, this response of Zhehan made him speechless, yet again.
His head was suddenly filled with thoughts, not just one, not two but many questions for him to ponder for the next hour, or days, it could be weeks.
Does Zhehan wants to live alone for the rest of his life?
Maybe he doesn't want a 'wife' but just a girlfriend instead?
Is Lufei, and another dog and maybe a cat enough for him?
What if he already has a wife and he’s just keeping it from Gong Jun?
Or maybe Zhehan doesn't want to treat his wife as a housewife that's why he said there's no housewife.
"I'm not planning to find a housewife, Junjun because I want a househusband."
He can’t take care of himself alone, maybe he’s just bluffing him?
Or maybe he plans to hire assistants to---
Wait.
He examines Zhehan's grinning face.
Did he, did he heard it right?
Does Zhang-laoshi really wants--
"Oh." then he gasps.
Zhehan giggled. “That wasn't in the list of your possibilities, isn't it, Junjun?"
OH. He gasps harder.
Zhehan laughs and he reaches out for Gong Jun's hand tucked behind his back, holding on dearly to the side.
He rubs it with his fingers, then he brought it to his mouth, and placed a soft kiss.
Gong Jun wanted to faint at that moment.
Zhehan gave him that look again (it's the sixth time!) but then he froze, he came to a sudden realization.
The look on his Zhang-laoshi's face was desire, fear, and fondness.
And It's actually the look of love.
Love.
Zhehan loves him??!??
"Zhang-laoshi." he blurts out, he tries to lean on the sink harder, his knees wobbling at the sight of the bright smile his Zhang-laoshi wears.
"Junjun." he kissed his knuckles again, this time, he grazes his thumb over Gong Jun's ring finger and he interlocks them with his own.
"I want to buy land Junjun, then build a house. I want to plant trees, preferably fruit trees, and set up a garden, plant vegetables, and tea herbs. I'll get another dog, and maybe a cat too so Lufei has siblings. I would retire whenever Junjun. I would retire whenever, whenever you want me to, Junjun.”
Gong jun can feel his eyes welling up.
"As for the househusband, would you be willing, Junjun, to take the spot? Buy the land together, build our house together, play with Lufei, another dog, and maybe a cat together, and if, if you're willing enough Junjun, maybe we can bask in the sun for the rest of our life, together?"
Gong Jun doesn't say anything. He only sobs, and cries on his Zhang-laoshi's shoulder, holding him close, listening to his heart beating.
He doesn't say anything. He doesn't say anything except for a breathless “yes” and until he finds the five words buried deep in his heart.
He stares at Zhehan's eyes, he returns him the look of love and he whispers, with so much emotion, trust, and more tears,
"I will always be here."
And if they both sobbed, their cries sounding groggy and ugly, they don’t care. No one knows about it, no one has to. No one heard it except the two of them, no one else but their own hearts.