Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Captain Inej Ghafa sat on the edge of her small bunk in her Captain’s Quarters, in her hands was a letter from Kaz Brekker, sent 7 months ago, containing the details of the slaver ship that The Wraith was in pursuit of. The Silver Sun was the slaver ship that they had been pursuing for 6 months, hoping to catch it before the ship docked in Ketterdam. She knew that she could rely on Kaz to stop the slavers if The Wraith did not get to the ship in time, but she knew that she had to do this herself, her soul demanded that they catch the boat before it docked. 

She read over the fine details explaining the ship and the Captain, who apparently was an ugly sore faced man called Jac Colinksi, someone who worked under Pekka Rollins before the Dime Lions fell after Rollins was scared out of the city. Colinski was a well known slaver who Kaz and Inej had been hunting down for several years since she started sailing to kill slavers. 

Kaz's familiar almost unreadable handwriting was comforting to her racing heart, they had heard from another boat that they had passed that The Silver Sun was a day ahead of The Wraith, and Inej knew that they were a few days from Os Kervo, where she knew that The Silver Sun was most likely going to steal more people from their homes. She had a specific timeline to get to this ship before they stole more innocent people. 

“Captain! The Silver Sun is on the horizon!” Specht's loud voice from the deck shook her out of her lost thoughts and Inej jumped to her feet and thrust the letter down onto the desk, she didn't care where it landed. She bolted out of her door and down the corridor, still silent as ever. She ran up to the front of her little warship and grabbed the eye-glass from Specht's hand, who gave a huff when she held up to her eye. She let a small smile crossed her face as she recognized the flags on the ship and the ugly painting of Sankt Alina on the back of the ship. 

“Let's go!” Inej shouted to the grisha Squaller, Kira, who had recently joined her small crew. Inej dropped the eye-glass from her eyes and watched Kira’s face transform into  grin and she jumped onto the crow’s nest, she held up her hands and began to create a faster wind, to catch up to the moving slaver ship on the horizon. Inej felt the wind pick up through her messy braid and she heard Specht huff again, she turned to face him and raised an eye brow, smile still on her face. 

“You know, that smile reminds me a lot of Brekker.” Specht muttered to her, Inej scoffed in disbelief and shot a glare at him. She felt heat rise to her cheeks as Specht just winked at her before grabbing the eye-glass and turning around to head to the back to call the rest of the crew, to get them ready for the fight that was going to come soon. 

Inej stood on the front of her boat and took a deep breath, she knew that a fight was on her horizon and she needed to make sure taht she was ready to spill more blood under the sky of her precious Saints, as Kaz called them. She placed her hands on her torso and started checking and naming all of her knives as they approached The Silver Sun, which was growing bigger and bigger each second that Kira kept her winds going. 

“You know what to do!” She yelled to her crew, who had appeared behind her, and they all shouted in confirmation and ran to the jobs, some running to their cannons and some staying put on the deck holding guns and knives, one or two had crossbows. Specht and Aliya, her third in command, walked up to her and stood next to her in silence, waiting for their ship to catch up to The Silver Sun. 

The crew waited in silence, which happened each time they came across a slaver ship, and the silence became eerie when their boat came right to the slaver ship, The Wraith was tiny compared to this ship but she had faith in her crew, faith that they could get everyone out safely and sink the boat with no lives of their own lost. She had faith that they would do anything to protect those people inside The Silver Sun.

“Let's go.” Inej called to her crew and she ran up to the edge of her ship and jumped up onto the barrier of the ship, bracing herself for the jump between the ships. She planted her rubber shoe clad feet on the top of the barrier and launched herself into the air and onto The Silver Sun. She landed on the side and used her arms to pull herself over the barrier and onto the wooden deck.

She slipped across the decks and pushed herself up against the sides of the ship, hoping to remain unseen, hoping that her skills as the Wraith hadn’t left her. She pressed her back against the walls and looked over at Specht, who gave her a nod before calling to Captain Colinksi, who she had heard grumbling and running down the hallway through the wall that she was pressed up against.  

She heard the slavers run down onto the front deck, with Colinski, who was red in the face with anger and immediately got angrier when he read the name of her ship, she knew that her ship had become a legend on the seas. She finally saw the legend come to life. 

She waited for the last of the slaver crewmates stand next to their Captain before she began her silent walk towards the deck. She saw a mast slightly behind him and his crew, and she braced herself to silently jumped onto the mast, using her hands and rubber shoes to keep her from slipping back down onto the deck below her. 

“Where is your Captain? I demand to see Captain Ghafa!” Colikski shouted to Specht, who in turn shrugged. She almost snorted and continued her climb up the mast of the ship and planted her feet on a level platform, she retrieved Sankt Petyr from its place on her body before lifting her hood and holding the throwing knife in her hands. She had it ready to throw directly to Colinski. 

“I’m right here.” She shouted from the mast, the Captain turned around and she watched as his face went completely pale, clearly he had recognized her. She gave him a grin that could fit right in with Kaz Brekker's,  before letting Sankt Petyr flow from her hands and sink home in his heart in such a speed that no one knew it happened until Colinski fell to the deck. He was dead before he even hit the ground. 

It took a second for the shock to pass from the slavers, and it turned into rage, rage that made them stupid enough to run to the woman on the mast with throwing knifes. Inej heard the boarding plank land on the side of the The Silver Sun and heard her crew run across it to join her in killing the slavers, they used their knives and crossbows and she used her precious Saints. 

Inej let her knives slip from her fingers, muttering the names of the Saints as the knives slipped from her fingers. She silently jumped down from the mast and onto the deck when she ran out of her knives, most of the slavers were now fighting against The Wraith's crewmembers and didn't notice her land, or if they did they were preoccupied. She landed next to a fallen slaver and yanked the knife out from his chest, with no remorse and ran into the fight alongside her crew members. 

She sliced through the necks of four more men and ready to kill one more when she turned around and realized that the only people that were left standing were her crew, she let the grip go from her hold around the knife and she slid it into its place on her body. She took a quick look around her crew and relief flooded her when she knew that none of her crewmates were seriously injured or dead. 

She left her position under the mast and walked around the deck of fallen slaver, collecting her knives from their chests and heads. She left the Captain for last, as she usually did, and when she reached Colinski’s body, she pulled the knife from his chest, but giving him a shove to the side with her foot, her stomach full of disgust and anger at the man. She placed the last knife into its hold and pulled herself straighter, now feeling safer knowing that she had the Saints back with her. 

She caught Specht's eyes and he nodded at her to go down to the people below the deck, she moved from her space and when she reached his side they walked down into the ship and down under the deck, where the slaves sat chained to the wall. All the slavers had been on the deck, so there wasn't anyone guarding the people. She opened the gate and her and Specht walked into the room. 

“We are here to take you home.” Inej said in Kerch and then in Ravkan. Specht repeated her words in all the other languages, and she watched as the relief flowed through the captured people’s faces. They all looked at her like she was a Saint, and she felt slightly woozy at that, so she turned to Specht and the healer boy that was standing behind them. 

“Specht, find the keys and lead them to The Wraith, I’m going to look at the Captain’s quarters.” He nodded and walked out of the room, turning right to walk down to the deck to find the keys on one of the dead slavers. Inej turned left and down the corridor to the sleeping quarters. 

She knew mostly where the Captain’s quarters were, most of the ships kept them in the same place, it was just logical. She reached the door that said Captain and pushed the handle, but it didn't budge. It was locked and Inej needed to channel her inner Kaz Brekker to pick the door open, something that she realized was very useful when hunting slaver ships. 

She grabbed her lock picker toolkit from her belt and held them up to the lock. She twisted and turned the lock picks into the lock, and grinned when she heard the lock open and she stood up and pushed the door open, she took a step and in and caught caught in a horrible smell. 

She gagged at the smell of the man, and silently thanked the Saints that Kaz’s little attic room never smelt like that. she would've never survived if it did. She walked inside and moved directly to the desk filled with papers. the papers were spread all over the desk, maps and lists of names on top. She moved the maps down and picked up the piles of names and looked under it, there were piles of faked indentures and contracts for the people downstairs. 

She grabbed all the papers she could and stuffed them into a bag she found on the side of Colinski’s desk, a small brown shoulder bag that reminded her of Wylan. She swung the bag onto her shoulder and left the room, happy to leave that smell as soon as possible, it was making her lightheaded. 

“Captain! We are ready to leave.” Kira shouted from down the hallway. Inej nodded to herself and picked up her pace and ran down the hallway and into the light of the sun. She walked across the planks and moved directly to the higher portion on the deck. She kept her hand on the bag and she shouted out to the group of people below her to be silent. 

“You will be safe here, we are heading to Os Kervo to stock up and then moving onto Ketterdam. You are free to leave the ship at Os Kervo or you can wait for Ketterdam.” Inej addressed all the captured people and to her crew, who were free to leave at any time that they wanted. She saw the look on their faces when she mentioned Ketterdam, most people wouldn't dare go near that place. 

The people nodded and Inej walked across the deck and to her sleeping quarters, tired after a day of fighting slavers. She placed the bag down on her desk and picked up the letter from Kaz, which had fallen right next to painting of a crow that Wylan had painted before she left the third time. She ran her fingers over the horrible scribble of his signature. She missed him. She hoped he missed her.

The Wraith docked in Os Kervo three days later, and the survivors were all excited to get off the ship and get home. Inej knew that most of them, if not all of them, were from Ravka or Shu Han and that they would be getting off at Os Kervo. 

Inej and her crew had stayed there for 4 days, restocking and making sure that their survivors had a safe place to stay before they could go back home. 

Inej looked around the dock, no one else was waiting by her ship and she boarded the ship, Specht lifted the loading plank and moved it to the side. Inej nodded at him and moved towards the centre of the ship.

“All the survivors gone home?” Inej asked Specht, who gave her a shake and pointed to a tall boy a few years older than her with brown hair. She walked up to him and stood next to him as he looked out on the harbour. 

“Not stopping in Os Kervo?” Inej asked the boy next to her, he shook his head and turned to face her, his arms folded across his chest. His eyes were stern in a way that she recognized, almost as if they belonged to someone she knew. 

“I’m going to Ketterdam.”

“May I ask why?” Inej asked, he intrigued her and she wanted to know why this boy was going to the disaster that is Ketterdam.

“I’m going to say goodbye to my brother. Then go home.” He said, and Inej’s heart sunk at the broken look in his eyes, something that was also familiar to her. 

“May I ask your name?” 

“Jordan Rietveld.” 

Chapter Text

Kaz Brekker sat at his desk trying to focus on the paperwork in front of him but all the words and numbers were blurring into each other, it was 11 bells in the morning and he was still awake, he hadn’t gotten around to going to bed the night before. Or the night before. He knew it was a dumb idea, but his brain wouldn't let him think past the days, trying to focus on if he was supposed to meet Inej at the habor or not. 

Eventually he decided that it wasn't that day and that she was arriving the next day. 

He set his pen down on the paper and rubbed his bare hands through his hair, feeling the greasiness of it and cringing at his own bad hygiene. He never let it get this far, but the Razorgulls had been pushing back on the Dregs and he had been out fighting with them, so the paperwork was a bit more behind than he would've liked. He hadn't taken time to shower unless he was covered in blood, and he knew that Inej would threaten him with her knives if he smelt like this when she go in the next day. 

He missed her. He missed her more than he wished. 

He placed his hands over his face and buried his head in them, the ache behind his eyes and the bright sun in his office forced him to close his eyes tightly and let out a small huff of irritation. And before he knew it, he was fast asleep with his head in his hands on his desk, and leg cramping at a horrible angle. 

Inej watched the outline of Ketterdam come over the horizon, even from the ocean she could see the fog and smoke from the city. The city that was something resembling a home to her. Or more accurately, the city that held her home and safe place in it. 

“We are almost there.” Inej heard Jordan Rietveld say from behind her. She turned and gave him a nod and a tight lipped smile, something about the boy was familiar and it unsettled her. To shake off the unsettledness, she walked over to the mast that held the crows nest and climbed all the way to the top. 

She sat in the crow’s nest, the morning sun gliding over her face and she watched as the crew busied themselves around the deck, trying to clean up fast enough so they could go home and get off the ship as soon as possible. No one, not even her, liked to stay behind for longer than possible packing up the ship while they could be sleeping in a bed at home or in some inn. 

She stayed in the crow’s nest until land was less than a bell away, he eyes closed and listening the wind in the air and bracing herself to breathe in the thick air of Ketterdam. When Specht called for her to come and dock the ship, she dropped down from the crow’s nest and landed on the deck with almost no sound. She worked alongside the crew, getting ready to dock in Berth 22. 

She kept her hands moving to keep her mind f rom crawling down the rabbit hole that is Kaz Brekker, she always spent this time wondering if he would come to meet her by the docks, he had only come once out of the two times that she had been out on sea, the last time he had gotten into a fight with some Razorgull and was late enough to meet her in his room. 

She knew that Kaz was busy being the King of the Barrel and running the Dregs, but he almost always had time for her, time without his gloves and some of his armor. Last time she had docked, he held her hand when she slept against his chair while he worked, a small moment that meant the world to her even if she slept in the most uncomfortable position. She hoped that he would be there waiting for her, with no gloves and a crooked smile on his lips. 

The Wraith docked at 2 bells in the afternoon and the crew left the ship 1 bell later. Inej looked around the docks for any familiar faces in the crowd, but she saw none and her heart fell. She knew that Jesper and Wylan would wait for her to arrive for dinner at their house that night, hoping that she would be able to convince Kaz to go as well. 

She walked over to the rest of the crew that was staying to protect the ship while they stayed in Ketterdam, and Specht walked up to her with a knowing look on his face. Inej almost rolled her eyes at his face, but she knew he meant no harm.  

“Brekker isn’t here is he?” 

“No, he isn’t” Inej huffed out, she moved her eyes over to the rest of the crew that was staying and gave her a smile and a nod before moving to their sleeping quarters. “Has Rietveld left?” 

“Just left, asked about the Queen’s Lady Plague Memorial that went up two months ago.” Specht said. Kaz had written about the Memorial that had gone up in the memory of the plague that had killed thousands over ten years ago. One of the crew members had been speaking about it with Jordan, he had told her that his brother had been killed by the plague and he was going to see if his name was on the wall. 

“Thank you, Specht. I’m heading to the Slat if anyone needs me” Inej called to him, and Specht gave her a short nod a knowing smile on his face. She turned around and walked to her sleeping quarters and stuffing all her dirty clothes into the bag and picking up the bag of papers that she had picked up from The Silver Sun and moving her way down from the ship and into the afternoon sun of Ketterdam. 

She made her way to the rooftops and walked across the spider web of the rooftops that she still remembered from her years of being in Ketterdam working for Kaz. The irritation and sadness seeping through her bones, bringing down her originally happy mood, she just wanted to know why Kaz wasn't there to welcome her back to Ketterdam. 

She reached the rooftop next to Kaz’s attic window, and saw her crows sitting outside on the roof next to the window. She landed next to the birds and silently crept her way to the window and pushed the latch, and was surprised to find it open. She pushed the window open quietly and she swung herself inside and dropped her bag of dirty clothes in the corner of the room, next to his. 

She looked around the room and her eyes were immediately drawn to the hunched up figure by the table. She grabbed one of her knives in her hand and silently moved across the room until she stopped right in front of the desk. 

That’s when she saw the familiar head of black hair and white t-shirt on the figure. That’s when she realized that the figure on the desk was Kaz Brekker and that he was fast asleep. 

“Saints, Kaz.” Inej whispered. 

Kaz jerked his head up and his eyes, even though they were blurry and hazed over. He reached for the knife under his desk and held up to defend himself.

There was someone in his room, and that someone had their hands out in front of them, one of them had a knife. He blinked again and saw the same someone had long hair and was short and he knew he could take them down if his eyes just cleared up fully. He blinked again and his vision cleared up, the someone was girl with long black hair and a knife in her smaller hand. 

“Kaz?” He heard the voice, the same voice that he loved to hear. But Inej wasn’t supposed to be back for another day. He closed his eyes for a second longer and blinked them open slowly and saw her standing in the afternoon sunlight, in his attic. She looked like one of her precious Saints, with the sun outlining her like a halo. 

“Inej?” He breathed out, and dropped the knife onto the table, he heard it clatter and winced slightly. He watched her place her knife back in it’s spot around her waist and gave him a small smile. Kaz felt himself wake up a little bit more at the sight of that smile, his brain clearing up of the fight or flight response he had just seconds before.  

“Kaz, what were you doing sleeping at your desk?” Inej asked. Kaz rubbed his hand over his face and felt the last of the sleep fall away from him. The 20 year old sat back down in the chair and gestured to the work in front of him, trying to play it off that he wasn't sleeping and that he was working. 

“Aren’t you only supposed to be back tomorrow?” Kaz c hanged the subject, Inej furrowed her eyebrows and gazed at him, the familiar look of irritation in her eyes. 

“No, I said today in the letter. What happened to you?” Inej asked, confused. Kaz felt the air rush out of his lungs and he sharpened his gaze on her, he thought it was a day earlier than it was and that he most likely missed a meeting with someone. 

“Nothing, just lost track of time. Have you visited Jes and Wylan, last I heard Nina was there.” Kaz said, hoping that mentioning Nina would stop the interrogation that Inej was giving him but he had no luck with it, she just narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips like a disappointed mother. 

“No, I haven’t. But we are going for dinner.” Inej stated, emphasising the we. Kaz scowled and challenged her with his eyes but Inej didn’t stand down, she never stood down. One of the things Kaz knew was that there wasn’t any use fighting a losing battle, and this was one of those battles. 

“Fine. Let's go then.” Kaz said gruffly. Kaz pushed himself up from the desk chair and gripped onto the desk to steady himself in case his leg gave out from underneath him. He folded and unfolded his knee, hoping to loosen up the muscles so he could walk. He groaned when his leg stretched fully, he gripped onto the desk a little harder. 

“Here.” He heard Inej say softly and handed him his cane. He grabbed the cane and lent against it, feeling the familiar weight in his hand as he pushed himself off the desk and into the room to fetch his coat and gloves, his limp worse than the days before. 

He lent the cane against the wall and grabbed the coat from the hanger behind the door, he shoved his arms into the coat and turned around to face Inej, who was watching him with worried eyes. 

“What?” Kaz asked exasperated. She walked across the room until she was standing in front of him, she stared him up and down with concern in her eyes, it almost made Kaz want to roll his eyes or what to kiss her, he didn't quite know. 

She raised her hand to his face, silently asking him if she could touch him. Kaz nodded and she rested her hand on his cheek, cupping it, her calloused hand radiating heat onto her cheek. Kaz felt the rise of water around his ankles, but they started slowly receding when his eyes met her soft brown ones. 

“You need to take more care of yourself.” She whispered, Kaz raised his hand and placed it on top of his, resting both of them against his cheek. He circled his fingers around her smaller hands and pulled her hand from his face, cradling her smaller hand in his. 

“Who is here to remind me when you aren’t here?” Kaz asked, and watched the frown go deeper into Inej’s face. He raised his other hand and gently tucked a loose curl around her ear, careful to avoid touching any skin with his bare hand. 

“Kaz…” Inej whispered sadly. Kaz shook his head and gently dropped her hand from his and moved away from her, it was hard but he knew he needed to step away from her before the harbor rose above him and he drowned again. She didn't need to see that again. 

He pulled out his gloves from the pockets of the coat and slipped them on, and watched her face fall when she saw them on his hands. Kaz knew he needed them to walk to the Van Eck mansion, maybe he’ll take them off when he gets there. For her. For himself. Maybe. 

“Are you coming, Inej?” Kaz turned around, with his hat in hand and watched as she grabbed her clothing bag and swung it over her shoulder and gave him a nod before climbing out the attic window. 

In his heart he knew that it would raise questions if Inej walked down the stairs of the Slat by his side, but it still hurt to see her turn around and jump out the window. A small part of him wished he could walk down the streets with her on his arm, showing her off to the world. 

He slipped the hat on his head and walked out of the door, Dirtyhands walking down the steps and a piece of Kaz Brekker left upstairs in the moment when she touched his cheek. 

Chapter Text

Together, Dirtyhands and the Wraith walked out of the barrel and into the financial district, on their way to the Van Eck mansion. Dirtyhands prowled the streets while the Wraith took the rooftops, staying just close enough that Kaz knew that she was right behind him. Kaz didn't have to look but he knew that she would always be right behind him or next to him. 

Kaz walked the streets, gloves on and cane in his hand, and seeing people turn their eyes and hide away from him, fear evident on their faces. Kaz kept his face straight, trying to keep up his persona. He didn’t need anyone seeing that he was sleep deprived and in serious need of another nap, this time not at his desk, maybe holding hands with the girl, woman, who was on the rooftops. 

He turned down the street of the familiar Van Eck mansion and felt Inej walk up next to him, silently moving next to him, saying nothing. Together they walked into the front garden of the mansion and up to the door. Kaz stopped in front of the door and raised his hand to knock, but before his hand even touched the wooden door, it flew up, and he saw a blur of red before it moved again. 

“Inej!” Nina Zenik yelled, Kaz’s eyes widened slightly and he immediately stepped away from the running woman, who by the time Kaz was even half a foot away from Inej, had enveloped Inej into a massive hug that blocked all sight of Inej that he had before. Kaz vaguely heard an oomf from Inej and laughter that sprouted from both of the woman next to him. 

Kaz rolled his eyes and looked over at a sheepish Wylan and a grinning Jesper, who was leaning against the doorway with fond eyes at Inej, he nodded a greeting at the two men and Wylan gave him a shy smile. He gestured his hand into the house, motioning him to go inside. Kaz took the hint and stepped around the Nina-Inej ball of hugs and into the front foyer of the house. It hadn't changed since the last time he was at the house, which was just after Inej left for the sea. 

Kaz shed his coat and hat and placed them onto the hook on the side, as he had always done. He turned around and saw that Nina had eventually let go of Inej, Jesper had his arms wrapped around her shoulders and Inej had a soft grin on her face and she said hello to Wylan. Kaz watched as her eyes moved from Wylan to his face and he met her eyes which had a sparkle in them. Kaz felt an immediate surge of courage and quietly undid the buttons of the gloves and slipped them off his fingers. 

He heard Nina gasp slightly and looked up, he held his gloves in his hands, and saw the look of pure shock on Nina’s face as she stared at his hands. 

“Did you think I had claws, Nina dear?” Kaz smirked, Nina dropped the surprised look and glared at him, a completely contrasting look to the soft smile and bright eyes of Inej who stood next to her, Jesper and Wylan both had secretive smiles on - Kaz had taken his gloves once or twice around them so they were almost used to it. 

“Well, my curiosity got the better of me. I merely thought the gloves were glued to your skin.” Nina spat back, her eyes sparkling with mirth, her arms crossed over her chest in mock annoyance. Kaz rolled his eyes and started walking down the hallway to the dining room, cane clacking on the floor of the hallway, leaving everyone else standing in front of the open door. 

“I’m offended, you don’t even wait for the hosts to show you the way.” Jesper shouted down the hallway as he ran to catch up with Kaz, the front door shut behind them and he heard the other three walk to catch them. Kaz smirked and turned into the dining room saying nothing. He heard Jesper let out a loud huff and something that sounded vaguely like ‘once a bastard always a bastard’. 

“Now, Jes. That was a bit rude don’t you think?” Kaz accused, he stood behind a chair and crossed his arms a smirk still pulling at his lips. Wylan and Inej snickered in the background, and Jesper’s jaw slacked and his mouth opened. Nina was grinning at them, completely loving the confused and offended look on Jesper's face. 

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” Jesper retorted, but Kaz just raised his eyebrows. Jesper rolled his eyes and slumped down in the chair next to Wylan, who was trying to keep a grin from crossing his face. He pulled his chair out from the table and sat down, Nina took the chair at the head of the table and Inej took the spare seat between him and Nina. 

“So, ‘Nej. How was your trip?” Nina turned the attention from Jesper’s scowl and Kaz’s triumphant smirk to the Captain next to him. Kaz moved his attention from the table and placed his hand on his leg, palm up in case Inej would want to slip her hand into it. He knew she had seen it and he didn't pull it away, withdrawing the offer. 

Inej spoke all about her last 7 months on the sea, chasing The Silver Sun, Kaz interjected with the finer details when he was asked how the hell he managed to get a hold of that information. The rest of the table sat enthralled with the story from the two, mostly Inej, only contributing when they wanted a question answered, or Jesper giving a sarcastic comment. 

His attention slipped away from the responses of the rest of the group when he felt Inej press the tips of her fingers into the palm of his hand, the heat immdiatly drawing his attention. He stiffened slightly at the touch before forcing himself to relax and stretched his fingers to let her slide her fingers between them, he always thought her hand fit perfectly into his. 

He squeezed her hand one last time before turning to look at the rest of the table, who were fully engrossed with Inej’s story of the survivors she had freed. Kaz listened, though he wasn’t taking anything in, he was just enjoying the sound of her voice. Her voice shook away most of the water that had gathered around his ankles at her touch, calming him down enough to be functioning. 

“He said he was coming to find his baby brother.” Inej said, and Kaz wished he was paying attention in the last ten minutes she had just spoken, just to know about this man. Kaz squeezed her hand one last time before shoveling a forkful of food that had appeared while Inej was talking, she unconsciously grabbed onto his hand as she carried on. 

“I doubt he is going to find his brother here, it is Ketterdam after all.” Nina mussed. Kaz silently agreed with her, definitely not going to give her satisfaction of agreeing with her outloud. He still had to keep his pride and dignity somehow. 

“Oh, his brother is dead. He said he died in the plague. He has gone to find his name on the memorial.” Inej stated and Kaz stiffened completely. He knew all about the memorial, after all he anonymously paid for over 30% of it. He knew exactly where Jordie’s name had been placed. 

“I doubt his name is there, only people whose family members told the council about the name got their loved ones' name on it. If he wasn’t here then I doubt his brother’s name is on there.” Wylan noted, Kaz sat frozen in the chair silently willing the conversation topic to change. 

“There were so many people that died, I doubt they would remember a boy’s name.” Nina pointed out. “Just out of curiosity, did he say how old his brother was?” 

“I think he said he was 9.” Inej said, and Kaz almost choked on the air that had suddenly stopped coming into his lungs. He pulled his hand out of Inej’s grip and found himself wishing for the familiar feeling of his leather gloves on his fingers. Hoping that the loss of contact will bring back the air into his lungs before he started gasping for air. 

“What was this man’s name? Maybe I could help him tomorrow, find him a place to stay.” Wylan asked, and Kaz knew that Inej was looking at him with a strange and probably hurt look. He must look like quite a sight, having gone completely still and slowly drowning the harbour. 

“Jordan Rietveld.” 

The world stopped spinning and Kaz’s heart completely stopped working and he scrambled to get a grip on the table and shove himself up from the table, not caring about hsi leg, knocking the chair over and almost toppling over with dizziness and anger. He grabbed his cane and slammed it onto the ground and stalked out of the room, ignoring any calls.

His brother was dead and this man was impersonating him. Kaz knew of several methods to kill this man slowly. No one used his dead brother’s name without consequences. 

“Kaz?” Inej shouted as she watched him limp out the room and down the hallway, to his coat and hat hanging on the entrance hall. She shot up from her seat and ran down the hallway, the others following close behind her. She reached him just as he reached the coat hangers, she hoped that she could get some answers before he ran out of the house. 

“Kaz!” Inej shouted, she watched him slip his gloves with enough force that she was surprised that they didn’t break. Kaz didn’t seem to hear her, his face contorted in barely contained rage. He snapped the buttons closed and looked up at her, the look in his eyes was a look she hadn’t seen in a while, a look that she hoped will never be trained on her. 

Dirtyhands had taken over. And Inej didn't know why. 

“What did he look like?” Kaz growled, his raspy voice even lower, low enough to make people cower away from him but no one standing in the foyer cowered away, all of them undoubtedly confused as she was. She stood her ground and narrowed her eyes at him, but he didn't care, he just kept buttoning the gloves onto his hands. 

“Kaz…” 

“What. Did. He. Look. Like?” Dirtyhands took a step closer and Inej reached for one of her knives.

“Dark brown hair, maybe a little taller than you, dark brown eyes.” Inej trailed on, and she watched Dirtyhands’ eyes darken even more, they became a shade of anger that she had never seen before. It scared her. 

Dirtyhands broke eye contact and slipped his coat on and grabbed his hat from the hook. He pulled the front door open and placed the hat on his head before storming outside into the afternoon sunlight, leaving everyone behind in the foyer. 

“I’m going to follow him.” Inej spun to face the rest of the group. Jesper bolted to grab his guns, and Nina steeled her eyes. They were going to follow Dirtyhands and find out who Jordan Rietveld was to Kaz Brekker. 

Jordan Rietveld had to ask many people where the memorial was, his Kerch wasn’t as good as it was when he was thirteen. Granted he hadn’t needed to speak it when he was in Ravka, but he knew enough to string a few sentences together, to get his point across. 

He made his way down to the giant memorial on the front of the harbor, where he knew the Reaper’s barge had taken people out to sea. His eyes scanned the alphabet and moved towards the R section. 

He knew he needed Kaz’s name on the memorial stone, even if it cleaned him out of money, even if he wouldn’t ever be back in this Saints’ forsaken city. He walked down to the list and started scanning his eyes up and down the hundreds of names on the list but his heart stopped when he saw a name on the Memorial. 

Jordan Rietveld

“Saints.” He muttered in disbelief, he looked over the rest of the list but he couldn’t find Kaz’s name anyway. Either they forgot that he had a brother, who put his name on the wall, or his baby brother was still alive. 

But that couldn’t be, Kaz was dead. Jordie saw that for himself, granted he had been sick when he checked. Kaz was dead. Kaz was dead. 

Kaz was not dead and Jordie almost threw up on the spot. He would've if he didn’t feel someone grab his shoulder and shove him onto the ground. He vaguely registered the movement until he hit the ground hard and hands gripped his shoulders. 

“Glad to see you were dumb enough to come back, even if you were given an out. Rollins was quite irritated when he heard The Wraith had stopped The Silver Sun, but I guess it's your lucky day.” A deep voice growled into his ear and Jordie’s heart dropped. 

Chapter Text

Jordie was picked up from the ground by the rough hands that shoved him down in the first place, harsh hands with tight grips. Those harsh hands grabbed onto the back of his shirt and yanked him up into a standing position, he swayed a bit, too emotionally and physically spent from the last minutes to even hold himself straight, his vision a cloudy mess. 

“Come on, Rollins is waiting.” The same deep voice growled and a hand wrapped around his upper arm and pushed him forwards into a stumbled walk. Jordie tried to jerk his arm out of the grip but the hand was too strong for him to fight even if he was able to see at all. His feet seemed to be on auto-pilot, just walking straight not completely avoiding the holes and rocks on the ground.  

He was led away from the Memorial and into a dark street, the street was almost empty enough that he couldn’t yell for help, even though he knew that it would be in vain, no one helps someone else out in Ketterdam. Unless it's to save their own skin. 

He cleared his eyes slightly and almost dropped to his knees when he saw which street he was being dragged down. He immediately recognized the shops and stone pavement,  clearly in the 11 years that Jordie had been in Ravka this street had not changed at all.

This street held the last memories of Kaz, where he thought that Kaz was dead. This street held no good memories, and all Jordie wanted to do was throw up or sink to his knees. Maybe both, he couldn't think straight enough to decide. 

“Don’t pass out here. I ain’t carrying your ass all the way.” The deep voice pulled him out of the memories that he was about to fall into. He didn’t want to relive the day he found his brother dead on his chest. Or the day he thought he found his brother dead on his chest. 

The mere thought of Kaz’s body on him made his legs buckle from underneath him, he stumbled forward and the only thing keeping him from smashing face first into the ground was the tight grip on his upper arm yanking him back into a standing position. He swayed into a standing position and closed his eyes to keep himself from throwing up his breakfast. 

“Stay standing.” A second voice, presumably the man holding his arm, growled into his ear. All Jordie wanted was for this complete nightmare to be over, that maybe he was back in Ravka safe and not asking himself if he abandoned his baby brother to streets of Ketterdam. 

They turned down into a familiar alley, and all the pushing down of memories was all for nothing when they walked past a very, very familiar overhang. The same overhang that he had held Kaz to protect him from the harsh rain. 

“I’ve got him.” The first voice called down the alleyway. Jordie tore his eyes from the ground and saw a group of people standing in a group by a doorway, he guessed that was where they were going to take him. Someplace that he definitely didn't want to go, he'd rather throw himself into the harbor. 

They carried on walking forward until the grip on his arm tightened before going completely slack and the man holding him up fell to the floor, bringing him down to the ground as well. Jordie landed flat on his chest, only having time to push his arms out in front of him to protect his head. He pushed him arms up and turned around to face the man and saw a familiar knife protruding from the back of the man's head. 

“Captain Ghafa?” Jordie whispered to himself before looking up at the entrance of the alleyway, where a man with a cane and a coat limped down the alleyway. Three people stood behind him, a tall lanky man with silver pistols on his hips and a tall woman with her hands out in front of her and a smaller man behind the limping man. 

“I thought the memorial was a place of truce. Which last time I checked kidnapping was a part of that truce.” A deep voice, like stone grinding on stone, came from the man with the cane.

“Brekker.” The man above him hissed and Jordie shivered. This was Dirtyhands. He was so screwed. 

Kaz limped down the street, he knew that the rest of the Crows were walking behind him trying to catch up, they weren't as quiet as the Wraith. Speaking of her, he knew that the Wraith was following along the rooftops, keeping him in her sights just like he taught her. 

Thankfully the Memorial wasn’t too far from the Financial District, and Kaz was walking as fast as his damn leg would allow him to. He stalked down the street, watching people now run out of his way, he was pissed and he knew that his face showed it. Anyone who wanted to stay alive had to move out of his way. 

He turned down into the harbor and saw the grey stone Memorial that stood for a 10 meters long in front of the harbor wall. He walked in the middle of the street, cane clicking loud enough to scare the pigeons and crows away from his path. 

He made his way to the top of the pathway, which led down to the Memorial, and started moving his way down towards the R section. The rest of the Crows had caught up to him but he paid no attention to them, all he needed was this impersonator. This impersonator needed to die for his crimes. 

He was stopped by the sound of Inej gasping under her breath, she pointed down to the R section and he saw a man fitting Inej’s description getting walked, held up by a big bouncer and a smaller man, down the line and into the quiet street behind the harbor. 

Kaz carried on walking past the rest of the Memorial and moved his way down past the harbour and into the quiet street that he had been avoiding for years. His hand clenched his cane even tighter, he could feel the cool metal through his gloves. He couldn’t go down memory lane now, not with this impersonator making it even worse, it was hard enough without the memories of Jordie threatening to drown him in the harbor.  

He huffed out a deep breath and picked up his pace and followed behind the three men in front of them. He knew Inej had by then moved to the rooftops and Nina and Jesper had come to his sides, Wylan behind him. 

They turned down an alleyway and Kaz felt the urge to throw up, this was the very same alley that he and Jordie had hid from the plague. This was the alleyway where he felt his brother take his last breath. He knew that. 

“I got him.” Kaz heard the smaller man shout to the group of people who were gathered in front of a warehouse. The warehouse that last time Kaz checked was empty. Kaz wasn't surprised when he saw the familiar glint of a knife flying through the air and hit the bug bouncer in the back of the head with such speed. A dramatic entrance. 

The bouncer fell to the ground, bringing the impersonator down with him. The smaller man spun around and looked down at the dead bouncer, and then looked up at him and Kaz fought the urge to give a sarcastic wave. 

“I thought the memorial was a place of truce. Which last time I checked kidnapping was a part of that truce.” Kaz called out.

“Brekker.” The man snarled, Kaz felt a smirk play onto his lips and his eyes left the man’s face and fell to the impersonator on the ground. His heart stopped when he finally met the eyes with the impersonator, his eyes in the dark reminded him so much of Da's and the brown floppy hair that curled over his eyebrows. 

It’s not Jordie. Jordie is dead. Kaz chanted in his head. The man in front of him was a fake, a fraud. 

“You have no right to be here. This is Dime Lions territory.” Another man walked up to the two in front, Kaz tore his eyes from the fraud’s face and to the new man. He recognized Randell Barnes, a lieutenant to Pekka Rollins all those years ago. He knew he should've killed the man long ago, his mistake was catching up to him and he was seriously regretting not killing the walking version of a headache. 

“The Dime Lions have been nothing since your leader left.” Kaz called back. The Dime Lions had fallen since Pekka Rollins had run from Ketterdam with his tail between his legs, holding a metaphorical white flag. 

The smirk the man gave him unsettled him, like he knew something Kaz didn’t. Kaz knew most things, but obviously not this and it made him even angrier than he already was. 

“You think you’re that scary, Brekker?” 

Kaz was about to send out a retort when he saw a familiar figure come out of the group of people by the door, his words stayed stuck in his throat. It was as if the man walked in slow motion, to make a grand and dramatic entrance. Kaz felt his heart and stomach drop when the man’s face was caught in the light, the familiar face was present in all his nightmare and the main cause of his headaches. 

Pekka Rollins was back in Ketterdam and Kaz had a feeling he was out for blood.

Chapter Text

Inej slid down the pipe on the side of the building and onto a ledge slightly above the ground, making sure to stay out of the light and the shadows, a knife ready in her hand. She had just turned her head when she saw Pekka Rollins’ figure step into the light and show his face. Her heart dropped and her grip on the ledge almost slipped out from her. 

Inej felt as if she was going to be sick watching the pain flicker across Kaz’s face, the barely concealed anger in the set line of his mouth. She tightened her grip on the knife and squatted down, trying to see where the hell Rietveld was. She knew to get him out of the danger, so Kaz could deal with him. So Kaz could get whatever answers he needed from the man. She do at least that for the man. 

“You thought you could kick me out of my kingdom, Brekker?” Rollins shouted, a grin stretched across his face, but Kaz stood his ground. Inej saw the clenched jaw and could imagine the tight grip he had on the crow-headed cane, his tense posture and the anger radiating from him was visible from up on her ledge. 

“You think you could send your Wraith to scare my child and get away with it?” Inej’s hand tightened on her knife, the skin on her knuckles felt as it was going to split. Kaz didn’t know about her visit to the Rollins’ residence, but now he did and she didn’t know what to do but he remained as stoic as ever. 

She knew that this was Kaz’s fight, Kaz’s fight against someone who he had been after for years. But she would not let him fight this battle on his own, she would fight by his side until either of them reached the end of their lives. 

“Maybe you should’ve listened to the message.” Kaz growled out, his voice as cold as it always was when he spoke about Rollins. Inej had been in the church when Kaz had confronted Rollins the first time, though she knew that Rollins had done something to him and his brother, although she never quite understood the pain and anger that Kaz had.

“Brekker, you seem very confident up there on your chair. Not doing anything by yourself.” Rollins snarled across the dark alleyway. Inej watched a smirk pull at Kaz’s lips, and took a step forward to the man, the others behind him stepping forward together.

“I took a page out of your book it seems. Although I don’t breach truce rules, I still have some respect for the people of this city.” Kaz hissed. Inej tightened her grip on the ledge, and Rollins moved forward, flanked by the rest of the Dime Lions who had moved from the entrance to the warehouse. Inej could no longer see Rietveld but she couldn't focus on him, she needed to focus on the dangerous men in front of her. 

“It isn’t stealing when the object belongs to me.” Red hot anger ran through her blood stream and clouded her thoughts with murderous intent, no one belongs to anyone, certainly not someone that just escaped captivity mere weeks ago. 

“Last time I heard people didn’t belong to anyone. Clearly you have been hiding away for too long.” 

“While I have been planning, you have grown soft, Brekker. People like you can’t run the Barrel, you don’t deserve it.” Rollins snarled, and Inej felt her chest constrict. Kaz was not soft, he certainly wasn’t soft and Kaz was the right person to run the barrel. 

Kaz took another step forward, the two gang bosses standing less than 10 feet away from each other, the tension in the air thick with anger and pride. Kaz stood flanked by three people and Inej, Rollins stood flanked by over twenty men, all who had blood hungry smiles on their faces and knives in their hands.

Their odds weren’t good but Inej had faith in them. 

“Starting a fight that you know you can’t win.” Kaz took another step forward, Nina and Jesper walking right behind him, Jesper’s hands on his gun and Nina ready to summon the dead. Wylan stood behind Kaz with one of Inej's old knives in his hands, Inej knew that Kaz and Jesper had both taught him how to fight. 

Rollins and his gang took another step forward and Inej could feel the bloody fight that was going happen down in the alleyway. Inej just hoped they could get out of the fight alive.  

“Who says I won’t win?” Kaz whispered, Inej saw the slight tilt of Rollins face and the rest of the Dime Lions ran past the man, running straight towards Kaz and her friends, Rollins just stand still with a grin on his face. Inej sank her throwing knives, one by one, into the fighting Lions not bothering to watch them fall, already moving on to the next one. She threw until she had no more knives to throw. 

Inej silently dropped to the floor and kept Sankt Petyr in her hand as she crept into the shadows, keeping the shiny metal away from the light in the alleyway. From the shadows she watched Kaz swing his cane back and forth, breaking bones and spraying blood everywhere, she heard the familiar sound of Zemeni guns shooting bullets. Nina held two of Inej’s knives in her hands, holding her own in the fight, and Wylan swung his knife, watching blood spray out from the man in front of him. 

With Kaz focused on the two men in fron of him, Inej watched a man came up behind Kaz and she, without a second of hesitation, threw Sankt Petyr into the man’s head, the man falling onto the ground behind the Barrel Boss. Kaz took one final swing of the crow headed cane and it landed home on the Dime Lion standing in front of him. Kaz shoved his cane forward into the man's chest and and watched the man fall, dead, to the ground. 

Kaz looked like an avenging angel in the dim light of the alleyway, his coat ripped and white shirt completely covered in dark red stains, blood specks covering his face and his gloves dripping blood from the fingers. Kaz stepped over the dead body and turned around from Inej and the rest of the crew, his hand still gripped onto his cane.

“Run Rollins. You knew you couldn’t win, and you knew it. We will meet again.” Kaz shouted into the empty alleyway that Rollins had disappeared down. Inej stood up straight and looked around at the dead bodies that surrounded them, no one was left alive when Dirtyhands and his crows got into the fight. She would be doing penance for days, but she did not regret it. 

“Where’s Rietveld?” Nina asked, wiping the blood from her face but smearing it over her face even more. Inej’s heart stopped and she looked to the spot where she had last seen the man, but there was no one there, just an empty alleyway filled with death. 

Inej heard Kaz curse under her breath, and watched his face contort into the rage she saw earlier that day, and he clenched his fist tightly before spinning around and swinging his clenched fist into the brick wall behind him. Inej heard the sickening crack of bones breaking and watched his hand fall from the wall, back down to his sides, the alleyway seeming eerie silent as they waited for the next movement. 

Inej held her breath, Dirtyhands never lost his composure like that. Dirtyhands did not punch a wall after a fight. Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel did not lose his temper over one man he hadn’t even met. 

Inej heard soft muttering coming from the Barrel Boss, she couldn’t pick up on what he was saying but she knew it was a chant, a chant that seemed to be stitching him back together. Kaz was composing himself into the man he needed to be, the man she knew would tear down the world if he wanted to. The man that had scared her years ago, but now was an old friend. 

Kaz’s muttering stopped and straightened his back, leaning on his cane he turned around and looked at the rest of them with an uncontrolled look of rage in his eyes. 

“This will be the last time Pekka Rollins shows his face in my city. He will leave here face down in the harbor.” Kaz growled before turning down the alleyway and into the dark night of Ketterdam. 

Inej that that was a vow. A vow to the city of Ketterdam. A vow to them. A vow to himself.

Chapter Text

Kaz limped out of the alleyway and onto the street, his mind almost completely clear of anything other than Pekka Rollins’ face grinning at him in that alleyway. Kaz thought he had gotten rid of the man, taken him apart brick by brick, but he had been wrong. Kaz knew that Inej had visited the Rollins’ house, of course he did. He had hoped that would humiliate him enough to stay away from Ketterdam. 

He walked down the middle of the street, covered in blood and ripped clothes from the fight before, with his Crows following behind him in silence. He paid them no mind and just kept his eyes trained forward and turned into the Financial District; he needed the silence of the Van Eck mansion away from the Dregs. A small part of him also needed to make sure that they were all okay , make sure that Inej was okay. 

Wylan seemed to understand his intention and ran past him to the entrance of the mansion, already pulling the key out and shoving it into the lock and give it a twist until the lock unlocked. Wylan pushed the door open and Kaz dipped his head in thanks, it was the most he could do, he walked in and stopped in front of the same coat rack from earlier that day. 

“Kaz?” He heard Inej call out to him, but Kaz ignored her and instead stripped himself of his coat before turning around and looking at his blood soaked Crows. His eyes scanned up and down each of them, hoping to see that the blood wasn’t any of theirs. 

Inej stood almost clean of blood, Nina had a scratch above her eye brown and her white shirt was covered in red splotches, none of them getting any bigger. Jesper had his hands resting on his guns and blood covering his previously yellow striped shirt. Wylan stood next to Jesper, his blue shirt and blue eyes standing out against the blood that covered his hands and neck. They were all looking at him with identical expressions of confusion and Nina had a twinge of anger in the middle of her irises. 

“Kaz.” Nina stepped forward and placed her hands on her hips, just like a mother, completed with a stern look on her face. Kaz, yet again, ignored her and turned away from them and placed his shredded coat on the coat rack on the wall, the red of the blood stood contrasted to the white of the wall. Kaz's eyes seemed to be stuck on the blood on the wall, remembering the blood that Jordie had coughed up in his last days. 

“Kaz!” Nina fumed. Kaz moved his glove clad hands from the coat and rolled up his blood soaked sleeves to the junction of his elbow, his Dreg’s tattoo and blood covering the pale skin of his forearm. He kept it eyes trained on the spot of blood on the wall, his eyes refusing to move from their spot. 

“Nina… Don’t…” Inej warned from the side of the foyer. Her voice broke the trance he was in and turned around, facing his Crows again. He took a look around the room, he knew what she wanted to know, but he didn't know how to give it to her without going through losing his brother again. 

“Don’t what, Inej? Don’t ask him what the hell his problem is with Jordan Rietveld? Who the hell is Jordan Rietveld to you, Brekker?” Nina exploded. 

Inej watched Kaz lose control, again, and rush forward, placing his arms on Nina and pushing her backwards until her back was up against the wall on the other side of the foyer, she landed against the wall with a thud and Kaz brought his bare forearm up to her throat keeping it on it as he bent his head closer to Nina's. His cane clattered to the floor and suddenly the room was quiet for a second before Kaz spoke again.  

“Jordan Rietveld is dead.” Kaz spat at Nina, who did not recoil. Nina growled and pushed him off her and Kaz staggered backwards into the middle of the foyer, his head down and shoulders tense, Inej fought against the urge to walk up to him, to try calm him down but she looked down and saw his gloved hands barely containing the overwhelming anger.

“Well clearly he isn’t!” Nina shouted at him. Inej stood frozen in her spot on the floor watching the scene unfold in front of her, Nina red in the face with anger and Kaz even angrier but storing it in his shoulders and shaking fists. 

“Jordan Rietveld is dead. That man is not Jordan Rietveld.” Kaz shouted, his head lifted up and he threw his hand out, pointing in the direction of the alleyway. Nina took a step forward, her fist clenched and jaw set ready for another fight but Kaz did not rise to the bait, just carried on staring at Nina with angry eyes.   

There was such a raw silence in the foyer and Inej couldn’t even hear herself breathe. She was about to open her mouth to try to calm the situation down but as she took a step forward another voice spoke. 

“Kaz, how are you sure that he is dead?” Wylan’s softer voice asked from beside Jesper. Kaz violently spun around and glared at the red-head boy, who did not recoil, and took a step forward, but Jesper held out a hand to stop Kaz from walking any closer, giving him a silent warning. 

“How do I know that he is dead?” Kaz laughed a dark laugh, his hands still clenched. “How do I know that Jordan Rietveld is dead?” 

The foyer seemed to go even quieter than before, no one moved a muscle, all of them waiting for Kaz to speak, who was taking a deep breath before lowering his head to look at the floor.  

“I watched his chest stop moving, I watched the light fade out of his eyes. Jordan Rietveld has been dead for over ten years. That is how I know he is dead.” Kaz’s voice trembled slightly, Inej watched him lift his head and move his eyes to meet hers. 

Inej watched his chest move up and down, his clenched jaw and fists, and she stared into the dark brown eyes and her jaw dropped when she recognized the look in his eyes. Behind the anger was grief. Behind the grief was a lost look, an almost identical look to what she saw in the eyes of the man on her ship when he told her about his baby brother. 

“Jordie…” Inej whispered, but everyone heard her. Kaz's eyes filled with unconcealed pain, it was then that she knew that she had guessed right. 

She watched the tension drain from the man in front of her, leaving him looking like a boy who just lost his older brother and she felt her heart tear apart. He raised his head and she caught the look in his eyes, it was a look of defeat and a look of age old pain, a look that she wasn’t accustomed to seeing in his eyes, it broke her heart even more. 

Kaz closed his eyes for a second before opening them again and gave her one last look before walking out of the foyer and out into the dark garden. Inej watched his figure walk out of her sight and she felt pressure behind her eyes, Inej didn't know the full story of Kaz's brother Jordie but she knew that his death was the reason that Kaz became who he was. 

“Saints, Kaz.” She heard Jesper whisper, she turned her eyes to face the Zemeni man, who had a look of realisation on his face, his eyes wide and filled with sadness. Jesper looked up at her and she knew that he knew about Jordie, and she knew that she needed to get to the boy in the garden whose world had shattered again. 

“Who is Jordie?” Nina’s voice cut through the air, much softer than it was before but Inej and Jesper kept their mouths shut, it wasn’t their secret to tell and she knew that Kaz would never forgive her if she told Nina. She wouldn't forgive herself. 

Inej broke eye contact with Jesper and quickly looked around the room, Wylan and Nina each had identical looks of confusion on their faces but Nina's had the recognition of pain in hers. Her eyes met Jesper’s again and she knew that she needed to get to Kaz, so that’s what she did. 

She tore herself from her spot and ran out of the foyer and to the boy that had held her hand just a few bells ago. Her heart needed to know if he was okay. She needed to know if he was okay. 

Jordie knew that when the group crowded around him that he needed to get out of it, he knew of Dirtyhands’ reputation and he did not want to get caught in the crossfire between him and these people. 

He heard Dirtyhands’ voice and saw that no one was watching him, taking the momentary distraction he slowly crawled over to the dead man’s head and tugged the at knife that was buried in his head. He jiggled the knife free and quickly stuck it up his shirt sleeve and moved to sit back, moving his arm to get the knife into a more inconspicuous place under his sleeve.  

Just as he sat back two sets of hands grabbed his arms and pulled him up into a standing position, his shaking legs keeping him from standing straight. He hoped that the hands grabbing him didn’t notice the small knife shoved up his sleeve, but they just grabbed his upper arms and mover him. The men just pulled him backwards, walking away from the crowd and into the empty street behind them. 

Jordie was shoved into a carriage that was waiting on the road, and a bag made of cloth was shoved over his head, leaving him in total darkness. He knew he couldn’t use the knife now, he could be killed even before the knife was out of his sleeve. 

He felt another man join the three of them in the carriage, he heard him settle down and Jordie was jerked backwards as the carriage started moving down the road. No words were spoken and Jordie was left to his thoughts for the first time since he arrived at the Memorial. 

The realization that Kaz, his baby brother, could still be out there on the streets made the silent ride bearable. He needed to get out of this man’s hold and try to find his baby brother. 

His thoughts when he heard the man across from him speak. 

“Brekker needs to get taught a lesson.” Jordie knew he recognized his face in the alleyway, but the voice confirmed his speculations. Jacob Hertzoon. Jordie was in even deeper trouble.

Chapter Text

Kaz limped out of the foyer and into a dark room, he didn't care what room it was he just wanted the door to the garden, which he shoved open, he needed to get somewhere where he could throw up and not suffer the consequences of doing it inside the mansion. His forearm tingled at the phantom feeling of Nina's skin on his, and his stomach flipped over and over again. 

Kaz ran down the steps of the patio and retched into the flower bed beside it, his stomach bringing up the lunch he had eaten a few bells ago. Kaz had sunk to his knees and rested his gloved hands on them, the gloves slipping down his blood soaked pants but couldn't care as his stomach was convulsing as it emptied itself.  

Kaz squeezed his eyes shut and tried to get his stomach to settle down, and once he was sure his stomach wasn’t about to come up he pushed himself up so he sat on his shins and ankles pressed onto the grass below, and ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm his breathing down enough to fill his lungs with oxygen. 

A small part of him wanted Jordie to be alive, he wanted his older brother to be alive. Jordie may have put them out on the streets but Kaz knew that he could never love his brother any less. There were nights, in his worst nightmares, where Jordie would arrive at the doors of the Slat, threatening to kill Kaz, telling him that he was a monster, that Jordie couldn’t love him anymore. But there were also nights where Jordie would run up to him and wrapped his arms around Kaz and he would shove his brother away, nights where touch wasn't such a bad thing. 

Kaz clenched his fist in his hair, trying to keep the tears from spilling out of his eyes. He pulled at his hair, not caring that he might be pulling his hair out, trying to get the physical pain to distract him from the memories of Jordie that threatened to play like a movie in front of his closed eyelids. 

“Kaz?” A gentle voice, that definitely didn’t belong to his dead brother, called to him through the darkness. Kaz dropped his hands from his hair, feeling them as they fell onto the grass beside him, laying there motionless. Kaz heard the gentle voice call out to him again, this time coming from next to him, and he opened his eyes slowly, his back still curved over in a painful position. He turned his head and saw Inej sitting cross legged in the grass next to him and facing him, the moonlight hitting all of her angles but somehow making them softer in the light. 

“Kaz, look at me.” Inej’s calm voice instructed him, Kaz lifted his gaze from her shoulders to her eyes, the same eyes that could bring him so much peace and at the same time so much pain. Inej's brown eyes filled his view and he felt himself try find the calm in them but in a flash her eyes were replaced with Jordies' brown eyes and Kaz's breathing stopped. 

He dropped her gaze and started squeezing the grass between his fingertips again, trying to stop the memories of Jordies' eyes. 

“Kaz?” Inej whispered to the boy in front of her, she could see the pained lines on his face and his pale skin glistened with sweat in the sharp moonlight. She ached to reach out, to tuck his sweaty hair back into its place, to place her hands on his cheeks and wipe away the tears that she could see that were about to fall from his eyes but she stoped herself. She had seen him retch into the plants in front of him, and she knew he couldn't handle her touch at that moment. 

“‘Nej…” Kaz whispered to himself, he kept muttering her name as he slowly unclenched his hands from the grass but the tension in his shoulders stayed present in his frame. She watched his face slowly soften and his eyes slowly raise from the ground and meet hers. 

Inej involuntarily gasped at the vulnerability she saw in them, the open pain in his eyes and on his face. Inej had to ball up her fists to stop herself from reaching over to him and cradling his face in her hands, to pull him into her chest and keep the world from hurting him again.  

“Kaz, can you tell me what happened to Jordie?” Inej knew she was taking a risk but he needed to let go of the pain, her father had always told her that pain shared is pain lessened. She watched Kaz go momentarily still before dipping his head slightly, never breaking eye contact with her. He was going to share his burden with her and she gave him a small encouraging smile. 

Inej sat facing him, Kaz was looking at her but she knew that he wasn't seeing her, she knew that she needed to be patient with him after all, she was asking a lot from him. She watched him close his eyes and drag his hands behind him to pull himself backwards to the wall behind them. He lent his back against the wall and brought his knees to his chest and circled them with his arms and Inej stayed where she was, still looking him. 

He looked like a lost child, someone who Inej had sworn to protect and it broke her heart to see him like that. 

“I grew up on a farm in Lij with my Ma, Da and Jordie.” Kaz’s whispered voice shook, he kept his gaze on the grass in front of him and Inej didn’t make a sound, just waited for him to continue. “My Da was killed in a farming accident when I was eight, and then it was just Jordie and I left at the Rietveld farm. Jordie knew that we weren’t able to run the farm on our own so he sold it. He said that he would make us Merchers in Ketterdam, make us rich enough to rebuy the farm.” 

He took a deep breath and wrung his hands out between each other, the twisting wet leather making squeaky sounds but Inej ignored it. She wouldn’t stop something that was helping him open up to her, she kept her eyes focused on his face. 

“I didn’t want to go but I wouldn’t let my brother go alone. We arrived in Ketterdam just before my ninth birthday and Jordie promised me that once he made us rich he would get me the best present in the whole of Ketterdam.” Kaz’s gravelly voice became tight and a little softer, with the fond memories and the pain that they brought. 

“He found us this tiny one roomed apartment, which I stayed inside for days before Jordie finally let me out, he said it was too dangerous outside and that I needed to be protected from the bad men in Ketterdam.” Kaz let out a dark laugh and tipped his head back to rest on the wall behind him, his eyes staring into the starry night, his unshed tears glistening in the moonlight.  

“He used to come back each day, from trying to find work, to take me out for a small walk around the block. I hated being kept up in that damned apartment but Jordie used to bring me hot chocolate on the days that he couldn’t walk with me, he said it was an apology gift.” 

He broke off with a choked sob, a sob that almost ripped out from his throat. Inej watched him close his eyes and saw him try to calm his breathing down, but she didn’t think he knew about the tears that had started rolling down his face slowly. She just waited for him to continue the story, her hands clenched together in a tight fist.  

“On one of those walks, I saw a dog standing with a boy and I begged Jordie to let me pet him and he let me. Jordie was still struggling to find a job, he was thirteen at the time, and the boy with the dog mentioned that he could give him a job with a man called Jacob Hertzoon.” Inej knew this part of the story, about how Rollins had scammed Kaz and Jordie out of their money. 

“We were invited over to his house many times over the first few weeks of Jordie working with him, they would talk business and I would stay in the other room with his daughter Saskia who was the only other child I had met in Ketterdam. But one day we went over to Rollins’ house and saw it was completely deserted. He had scammed us out of our money and left us with nothing.” Kaz spat out, the previous fondness completely gone from his voice and replaced with a stony cold tone that she knew so well. 

“We were kicked out onto the street after we couldn’t afford to pay our rent anymore. We ended up in that same damned alleyway from earlier, hiding under the overhang in the corner, trying to shield ourselves from the rain.” Kaz whispered, “And then the Queen’s Lady Plague came.” 

Inej could barely hear the last part of his sentence, but she gasped when the words finally registered in her head. Her heart dropped to her stomach and she went a little light headed, things were starting to make sense to her, but Kaz just carried on. 

“Jordie’s fever started first, mine only started 3 days later. We slept curled up against each other, trying to keep warm in the winter months. But I was out of it for days, and by the time I was lucid enough to do something, I was curled up against a dead body. I could feel and see his too pale and bloated skin but I was too sick to even cry when I realized he died. I just closed my eyes and hoped it was all a nightmare, hoped that when I woke up Jordie would hand me another hot chocolate to make things better.” 

Kaz’s voice cracked and shoved the palms of his hands into his eyes, Inej lifted her hand to her mouth and felt tears hit her hand, she wasn’t even aware that she was crying. Her horror carried on when Kaz opened his mouth to carry on speaking. 

“The body collectors must have come after that, but I was too sick to try to move when they picked me up and threw me onto the Reaper’s Barge. My fever broke and I woke up surrounded by dead bodies, I was on top of my dead brother’s body, holding on so I didn't slip under the surface of the water below us.” 

Kaz’s voice stopped and he choked down another sob, and Inej had to keep hers down. She knew this was the first time that he had said it out loud, and now she understood why he hated the touch of skin, Inej didn't think she would've been able to survive that. 

“I called out for someone to help me, for someone to realize that they had made a mistake, for someone to know that I was still alive but no one came. I knew that I had to get back to land but I was still too weak to swim all the way back, and dead bodies float.” 

Kaz whispered the last part and Inej almost begged Kaz to stop talking, she almost had to ask him to stop making this real for her, but she realized that this was Kaz also admitting it to someone, it was Kaz admitting that it had happened and Inej couldn't take that away from him, even how much it had to hurt.  

“I used my brother to bring me back to land and then just as I reached land, the waves claimed him again.” Kaz agonized, he let a loud sob tear out of his chest and pressed his hands harder into his eyes. Inej unfolded her legs and held them up to her chest, just like Kaz, and she cried. 

She mourned for the real Jordan Rietveld and Kaz Rietveld, who both had died that day on the Reaper’s Barge. She buried her face into her knees and cried silently, praying that Jordie found peace with the Saints and was hopefully with his parents, all of them watching over Kaz. 

Inej didn’t know how long they sat, crying on the grass outside the Van Eck mansion, but she knew that when she lifted her head from her knees Kaz’s hands were still pressed into his eyes. 

She looked at the boy, who was still picking up the shards of armor that was lying all over the grass and she made a vow to make this fraud Jordan Rietveld pay for the pain that he had caused. 

“Kaz,” Inej whispered to him and watched his hands fall from his eyes which were filled with a type of pain that she didn’t want to see in his eyes ever again, “I promise we will find this man and you can put Jordie to rest.” 

She pushed herself onto her haunches and extended a hand out to him, which he stared at for a minute before extending his gloved hand and slipped into hers, steeling his eyes and giving her a sharp nod. They slowly stood up and Inej gave him a nod before they moved up the stairs and into the dark mansion. 

They were going to find this fraud and they were going to kill him and Pekka Rollins.  

Chapter Text

Hertzoon had stopped talking after his first sentence, and they rode the rest of the short ride in silence. Jordie sat completely motionless, he doubted that his chest was even moving, the knife in his sleeve was stabbing him lightly in the arm but he knew he couldn't move it and run the risk of the other men catching sight of it.

All Jordie hoped was that Hertzoon hadn't recognized him, and if he hadn't then Jordie was definitely the unluckiest man in the world. He was sat in between two heavy weighted men, who most likely had a weapon of some kind, the same man that screwed him out of money. Oh and he was caught in between Dirtyhands and his target, which he hazard to guess that no one survived long being in such position. 

The carriage came to a jolting stop and Jordie was involuntarily jerked forward, only to be roughly pulled back by two hands, on each arm. His back hit the seat again, only his head smacking into the headrest behind, making his headache worse than it was before.

He heard the door open and he felt Hertzoon step out of the carriage, he felt the it lift as the weight of the man was released, and the man on his left jumped out of the carriage. Jordie was shoved along the seat by the man on his right until he reached the door, in which the man grabbed him by the loose collar of his shirt and essentially threw him out of the carriage. 

Jordie landed onto the ground with a hard thud, his knees landing on the ground first and his shoulders second. He let out a hard groan as he moved onto his back, feeling the cold of the pavement all over his back. 

“Get him into a room, but at least tie him to something this time. Brekker seemed to care so much about a kidnapped man, so we’ll give him a call and see if Kaz Brekker comes running.” 

Although Jordie was still silently cursing at the men, he didn't miss the full name of Dirtyhands. And Jordie's gut told him that it was no coincidence that Dirthands had the exact same first name as his baby brother, who was no longer dead, even though the name 'Kaz' was a fairly common name in Kerch.  

Jordie's heart stopped when he finally realized that he was comparing his baby brother to the demon that is Dirtyhands. He couldn't let himself believe that Kaz, his Kaz, could be one of the scariest men in Ketterdam. Saints, even while he was in Ravka he had heard the legends and stories of Dirtyhands. 

But before Jordie could dwell on the thought any longer, he was lifted onto his feet by the same rough hands that had shoved onto the ground. But he couldn’t will his feet to move, his whole body was fighting against him, fighting against his brain. His brain, which had seemed to think that Kaz Brekker was Kaz Rietveld. 

“Move.” The rough hands pushed him forward and Jordie managed to shake himself free slightly from his mental spiral to put his left foot in front of his right. He kept his thoughts on moving his feet forward and not on whether he had seen a picture of Kaz Brekker anywhere, on whether or not he was related to Dirtyhands. 

He was led down a hallway and down steps, which required a lot more willpower than Jordie’s addled mind had, and he ended up having to be caught three times by hands before he took a dive down the never ending steps, possibly landing head first on the bottom of the stone steps.  

“Open here.” Hertzoon’s cool voice called, Jordie had no idea that he had come with them although the jury was out on the reliableness of anything that his brain had produced.

A door opened and Jordie was shoved into the room behind it, landing against the wall but luckily he had learned from falling out of the carriage to put his hands out in front of him to protect himself from landing head first against the cool stone. He slid his hands around the wall and slowly turned himself so he faced the front, his back against the wall. 

Jordie lowered himself onto the ground, using the rough wall as a poor crutch, and the bag, which had not been dislodged or removed, blocking any form of light. Jordie was left in the dark, in an unfamiliar place that he did not want to be. Again. 

He heard the sound of footsteps come closer to him and stop right in front of him, and rough hands went down to his neck and untied the loose knot under his chin. The bag loosened and ripped off his head. Jordie shut his eyes, the lights assaulting them and making him lightheaded but the fresh air not unwelcomed. 

Jordie counted to ten before opening them again, and staring up at the face, into the eyes, of the man that he hated the most. Jacob Hertzoon. Hertzoon who had not changed a bit in 11 years, except for a few more grey hairs and age lines.  

Hertzoon didn't meet his eyes and instead nodded to the man next to him and the man walked forward, holding a rope in his hands. He reached behind Jordie’s back and brought his hands behind it, slipping the rope over them and tying it tight. Jordie tried the flex his hands and found that enough of the movement was restricted, which would make his life hard if he wanted to use the knife. 

Jordie ripped his tied hands from the man and moved away, before glaring up at Hertzoon who had opened his mouth, just about to speak when someone came running down the hallway. 

“Rollins!” The man called and Hertzoon shut his mouth and rolled his eyes before turning around. The man had, by then, reached Jordie’s room, or a cage was a much better description for it, and was leaning on it to catch his breath. Jordie vaguely recognized the man and a small part of him was angered to see the man again. 

“Barnes? What the hell happened?” Hertzoon asked the man, but not bothering to move any closer to the man on the doorframe, who gripped his side but a red liquid was covering his hand. It finally clicked when the man swayed as he straightened up, he was bleeding and Jordie almost smiled. 

“Brekker fucking happened. I was the only one that survived.” The man, Barnes, said and Hertzoon growled. Hertzoon closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose and Jordie had a twisted feeling of pride for Kaz Brekker, regardless if he was his brother or not Jordie gave the man and his crew the respect they deserved. 

“I swear I will send that boy back to Lij chopped into tiny pieces. Or throw half of the pieces into the harbor. Maybe mail them to his friends.” Hertzoon growled before opening his eyes and staring past Jordie, who kept his back pressed up against the wall, trying to not be the at the receiving end of violent frustration. 

“Why Lij?” Barnes asked, his eyes glassing over, and Jordie found him asking the same question, although he most likely had the correct answer staring right back at him, using flashing bright lights. 

“Because the Bastard of the Barrel grew up in a farm town.” Hertzoon barked, before hastily grabbing his gun from his pants and shooting Barnes in the head. Jordie flinched at the loud sound and shut his eyes, only hearing the loud thud of the man hitting the ground. 

“No one will know about that until I need it to come out.” Hertzoon whispered to himself before holstering his gun and he started moving. Jordie heard his footsteps fade away and the loud slamming of the cage door, he opened his eyes slowly and took in the dead body that lay in a crumpled heap outside the gate. Thankfully his head was faced away from Jordie, so he was sparred of having a dead person stare at him. 

There was no one else standing in his sight and Jordie finally allowed himself to relax. He lent his head against the wall behind him and let out a deep breath. He took another breath before he went over the words that Hertzoon had last said. 

The oxygen stopped going into his lungs, caught up in his throat, when the words of Jacob Hertzoon finally settled into his brain. Kaz Brekker had grown up in Lij. Jordie could no longer deny his gut, and he scrambled to get more air into his lungs before he even began to think about thinking straight. 

“Saints, no. Kazzie.” Jordie breathed out, his broken heart coming through the tear that rolled down his face. His Kaz was Dirtyhands and Jordie had to get to him, he had to get out of Hertzoon’s hold and to his murdering baby brother. 

Back at the Van Eck mansion, Kaz walked into the dark house, his hand still holding tight onto Inej’s and the other gripping his cane even tighter. Kaz never knew how much he wanted Inej to know what happened to Jordie, what happened to him, but now it felt as if a certain level of weight had been lifted off of his heart. He felt a small part of him sit freer than it had at the beginning of the day. 

Kaz could hear where the others were in the mansion, he could hear Nina’s voice from four rooms away but he paid no mind to her loud ramblings about something, probably waffles. The only thing on his mind was Inej’s hand in his, her warmth even through his gloves was keeping his demons away, even for a little bit. 

They turned the corner, seeing the light from the kitchen, and Kaz stopped when he felt Inej tug onto his hand. He turned around to face her, his eyes immediately went to her face, which now had a small smile pulling at her lips and dried tear tracks running down her cheeks. 

“Kaz, you know they will ask questions and they will want the answers.” Inej whispered, her voice raw from crying, and pulled herself closer to him. They were still far enough away that he didn’t feel her breath on him and a small part of him was disappointed. But he knew that he would not be able to handle her being so close so soon after reliving Jordie's death. 

“I know.” Kaz whispered back, his voice raspier than before. Inej nodded and gave his hand one last squeeze before letting go, her hand dropping to her side and Kaz’s own doing the same, his hand already missing the feeling of hers tucked into it. 

“Let's go.” Inej said, Kaz nodded before turning around and walking towards the kitchen, Inej still at his side, silent as ever. He paused outside the doorway, but Inej carried on walking straight to the table that held food on it. His stomach grumbled, Kaz only then realizing that all his food was gone from his stomach, so he took a look at the food on the table. 

“Waffles?” Kaz spoke in disbelief, although he wasn't suprised. Nina stopped dead in her motion of lifting a waffle to her mouth and left her mouth open, comically. Kaz lent his cane against the counter next to him and crossed his arms over his chest, giving her a smirk. 

“Yes, waffles. You sent us into a fight so I bought waffles using your money as a payment.” Nina snapped out of her trance and dropped the waffle on the table, she set her hands on her hips. Kaz didn't want to know how she gained access to his money, and quite frankly he didn't want to delve into that mystery until he had eaten. 

But still Kaz opened his mouth to retort, but was rudely interrupted when the sound of a knock on the front door came through the foyer, and Wylan got up from his seat and slipped past Kaz, who had grabbed his cane from the counter in front of him, already starting to move. 

He heard Nina grumble something out before she dropping the waffle on the plate and she, too, followed Wylan out of the kitchen and into the foyer with Inej and Jesper right behind her. Kaz limped behind the others, all of them walking faster to the door, to catch up with Wylan who had had a head start. 

Wylan opened the door and the person pushed past him, but in a split second Inej had drawn one of her knives and held it against the uninvited visitor’s throat. Wylan shoved the door closed and Kaz pushed past Jesper and Nina to stand in front of the man, who had a prideful yet vaguely terrified expression on his face. 

“Speak.” Kaz commanded, the man reached into his pocket but stopped when Inej pressed the knife harder into his neck. The man gave Kaz a pleading look, and Kaz nodded at Inej to loosen the knife a little bit, which she did even with a slight grimace.  

The man reached his hand into his coat pocket and brought it back out holding a piece of parchment paper and held it out for Kaz to take. Kaz slowly reached over and took the letter from the outstretched hand. 

He turned the letter over in his hands, and he let out a small growl at the familiar wax seal on the back of it. He slid his hand under the lifted piece of paper and ripped open the letter, and quietly unfolded it. 

Rollins mansion 

6 Bells 

Don't be late. 

Kaz knew exactly who the letter was from, even without the seal, and he shoved it into Nina’s hand before stepping forward to the messenger. He grabbed his crow cane and held it up to the man’s face, watching him gulp. 

“Tell Rollins I’ll see him at six bells.”

Chapter Text

Kaz, along with the rest of the Crows, moved quickly out of the house, most of them were already carrying what would be needed for the meeting with the Dime Lions the next morning and the meeting at the Slat with the Dregs. They walked out of the mansion and into the dark streets of Ketterdam, they had no fear of getting jumped, no one would try anything if Dirtyhands and his group were the targets. Unless they wanted to die a painful death. 

When Kaz had suggested that they head down to the Slat, to get the rest of the Dregs in on the meeting tomorrow, everyone ran to get their stuff together. They needed time to walked from the Van Eck mansion to the Slat and they needed to get their as fast as possible if they wanted to maximize their planning time. 

They pulled up to the Slat and Kaz shoved the door open, loud cheering and movement still carried through the building regardless of the time. Kaz walked in first, the rest following silently behind him, and quickly scanned the room for the rest of his most trusted Dregs. 

He spotted them standing in a circle in the corner of the room, talking loudly and wildly swinging their arms around as they spoke. The room quietened considerably when they finally noticed the bloodiness of their leader and his trusted crew, and Kaz watched the circle of his lieutenants turn to face him, Anika had noticed him first and she opened her mouth. 

“Boss?” Anika called, straightening herself from her previously slouched position, her face losing the smile on it at the sight of the emotionless face that he had on. Kaz nodded his head to the direction of his office and the group immediately got up from their corner and walked over to his office before Kaz pulled away from his spot and moved his way to his office as well. 

They all piled into Kaz’s office: Kaz, Inej, Nina, Jesper, Wylan, Anika, Pim, Rotty, Roeder, and Dirix. Kaz immediately moved to his desk and rummaged around his desk for the blueprints of the Rollins' mansion that he had used to raid Pekka’s office with.  

Once Kaz found his hands on the right document, he pulled it from under the pile of paper and shoved it onto the desk. He placed his hands on either side of the map and looked up at the group gathered in front of him, only Inej and Jesper stood at his sides behind the table.  

“Pekka Rollins is back in town and he has sent me a message to meet him here at 6 bells tomorrow morning.” Kaz said and he watched the faces of the people in front of him, his lieutenants, and their faces steeled just after a look of horror briefly crossed them. Kaz knew that Rollins being back could mean fighting to keep their position of power in the Barrel, a fight that could cost everyone their lives. 

“He is also in possession of a person that I need in my custody. I would assume that he is being held in the basement below the house.” He pointed to the spot under the house, his eyes flickering down to the familiar map for a brief second before flickering back up to face everyone else who was nodding at the logic of his guess. 

“Boss…” Anika’s strong voice brought Kaz’s wild glare onto her and she seemed to falter on her words, a small gulp forcing the words back into her mouth. Kaz felt a small twinge of pride that none of his lieutenants had grown immune to his glare unlike the others. 

“What do you need us to do?” Rotty asked from the left side of the wide desk, his arms folded over his chest. Kaz shifted his gaze back down to the map and ran through possible scenarios in his head. He did, however, hear and ignore the ‘scheming face, definitely’ comment from Inej and Jesper on either side of him. 

Kaz knew that there would be more people guarding the mansion than the door in the alleyway, the Dime Lions were a smaller gang than when they were in their glory days but there was nothing saying that they wouldn’t invite another gang to help out their crusade to kill him. Other gangs weren't particularly happy with his succession into the throne of the King of the Barrel. 

“It is currently 12 bells, we have just under 6 bells to learn as much as we can about the state of the mansion at the moment. Inej, take Roeder with you and go spot out the mansion. Wylan, do you have any explosives handy?” Wylan shook his head and Kaz squinted his eyes. 

“I can run back and make some more in a few bells if you need.” Wylan offered. For this plan to go the way that Kaz wanted, he needed Wylan’s explosives, so he turned to look at Jesper, who gave him a nod in confirmation. 

“Alright, Jesper and Anika will escort you. Be back before 5 bells. Rotty and Dirix, get the best shooters, and the most sober ones, and get them ready to accompany us to the mansion. Nina, you stay here with me and get ready for a fight.” Kaz ordered.

“Are you waiting for a green light? Go. Be back before 5 bells at the latest.” Kaz snapped. Rotty opened the door and everyone walked out, save for Nina and Inej. Inej gave him a quick glance and he caught her eyes, staring into her chocolate eyes for a second before dropping the contact, and giving her a quick jerk of the head. She nodded and walked silently out the door and he was left in the study with Nina. 

“What do you need me to do?” Nina asked him, the angry tension in the air between them from earlier completely gone. Kaz pushed himself off his arms and turned his gaze to look at her, her eyes were completely genuine. 

“You, Nina dear, are going to finish those waffles you stuffed in your pocket and finish getting ready. We might need your corpses to come to the fight, at least to give the other side a quick descent down under.” Kaz shared, Nina grinned and nodded before grabbing a waffle out of her pocket and taking a bite out of it. 

Kaz shook his head and pulled away from the table and map, grabbing his cane and pushing past her. He was almost out of the door when he heard her raise her voice, effectively stopping him in his path. 

“What are you going to do?”

“You can’t arrive at a breakfast date without at least presentable.” Kaz smirked, he could hear Nina roll her eyes before he carried on walking up the stairs to his attic room. He was ready to fight, he just needed to look a little bit tidier. It was more for his pride than intimidation. 

It was 4 bells by the time Inej had gotten back to the Slat, her and Roeder had spent 2 bells watching the comings and goings of the Rollins’ mansion. She had to admit that Roeder was a decent spider and she was glad that Kaz had trusted him to take over from her, even if a part of her was jealous that he had replaced her so quickly after she left. 

She had a feeling that Kaz would be in his attic study instead of the downstairs study, and when she arrived at the top window she figured out that she was right the whole time. She opened the window, which was unlocked, and silently slipped inside the candle lit room. She stopped where she was when she spotted him the far end of the room. 

He was bent over the basin in the corner of his room, running a wet cloth down his neck and arms, the reddish tinge of water running down his arms and bare fingers, one or two running down his back. She felt heat run up to her face and really hoped that Kaz wouldn’t notice the blush that had spread over her face at his bare back when he turned around. She knew that he knew she was in the room, he always seemed to know. 

“Hello, Inej.” Inej felt her blush deepened when he turned around to face her. Water dripped down his bare chest and Inej had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from making a fool of herself in front of him. She wasn't the same teenager as she was before she had left Ketterdam for the first time, but seeing him half naked still did things to her that made her feel like a teenager. 

Inej tore her eyes from his chest and met his eyes, and she rolled her eyes when she saw the smirk pulling at his lips and his eyes filled with amusement. She wanted to smack that look off his face. 

She was saved from her eyes slipping down to his chest when he moved from his position by the basin to his closet. Inej stayed in her position in the middle of the room, waiting for him to pick out a shirt, and staring at the tension lines that ran down his back. She kept her eyes trained on his back as he slipped a black shirt over his shoulders and dropped his hands to start buttoning the buttons. 

She heard a brief and quiet curse come from him and she took a step forward, she watched him let go of the shirt and flex his left hand out in front of him, clenchign it and unclenching it tightly. He brought his hand back to the buttons but let out another curse a few seconds later. It finally clicked, his hand probably hurt from punching the wall a mere few bells ago. 

“Let me help you, Kaz.” Inej said, rolling her eyes. He turned around in his spot and glared at her, but she paid no mind to him and looked down at the lone button that was clasped. His unbuttoned shirt and messy hair made him look like a teenager, not someone who had a burden that so many people didn't understand and Inej was determined to lessen it, even if it was by buttoning up his shirt. 

“I’m fine, Inej.” Inej ignored him and instead took another step forward until they were almost a meter away from each other. Inej raised her eyes to glare at him and he glared back, holding her gaze for a few seconds, but eventually dropped his gaze and let go of his buttons, his hands falling to his sides. 

Inej took the hint and took another step forward, she could feel the heat from his chest on her fingertips as she reached towards the bottom button. She kept her eyes locked with his and her hands hovered over the button. She watched him take a breath before giving her a nod, letting her know she could touch him. 

Inej dropped the eye contact and carefully picked up the button and gently slid it through the hole, feeling the tremor that went through his entire body. She slowly moved her hands to the button above and repeated the process, each button came with a tremor that was smaller than the one before. She worked with a small smile on her face, she was buttoning up the armor that she had asked him to take off all those years ago.  

She reached at the one that rested on his collarbone and Kaz raised his injured hand to hers, hovering above it. She nodded and he dropped his hand on hers, gently holding it against his shirt clad collarbone. She relished in the heat of his hand and slowly raised her head to look him in the eyes. 

His coffee colored eyes stared back at her with an affectionate look, a look that she saw very rarely. A look that she assumed never leaves the small attic room, it was a look that only she got to see. 

“I need to finish your buttons.” Inej whispered, her voice didn’t allow her to be any louder. She gave him a small smile and he dipped his head in response, he gently lowered his hand down and hovered it above her waist, never dropping his eye contact. 

Inej nodded and his hand settled down on the curve of her waist, a small tremor floating through both of them. Inej slowly dropped her eyes and grabbed the button in her hand and slipped it through the hole. She reached for the last button just under his throat and watched his adam-apple bob up and down as he gulped, and she took the last button and slipped it into place before dropping her hand from his throat.

She placed her hands on his chest and smoothed out the creases in his shirt, and stilled them before looking back up at him, leaving her hands resting on his chest. His eyes held a tension that was ever present when they touched, but he didn't pull away from her and Inej smiled at him. She watched a small grin pull across his lips and she felt her mouth pull out into a small grin.  

“Let’s go.” 

Chapter Text

They arrived at Rollins’ mansion just before 6 bells. It was a cold morning but Kaz wore his coat for entirely different reasons, it was gift from Inej and Nina, the coat was made from a very similar fabric to the fabric that the Grisha keftas were made from. Kaz and Jesper had both gotten one, Jesper's was a blue while Kaz's was black. This would be the first time it was worn. 

Kaz stood in front of the Dregs with Nina and Jesper on either side of him, standing as his lieutenants, and Anika and Dirix standing on either side of them. Kaz had sent Inej and Roeder to get inside the mansion to get 'Rietveld' out and to clear the way for him to complete what he had set out to do. Wylan and Rotty had accompanied them around the back to plant some strategically placed explosives around the mansion, ready to blow it to hell in 30 minutes. 

Joining Kaz and his lieutenants were over 25 other Dregs, all of them as sober as they could find in a few bells, most of them had to get sobered up in less than 3 bells. Not all of them stood behind Kaz though, some of them had hidden around the corner and in the mansion next to the target, ready to join in the fight if necessary, or stand in as a strategically placed sniper. 

Kaz had faith that Inej, and Roeder, could get inside the mansion if Kaz kept most of the attention to the outside of the house, as much faith as he had in their abilities he knew that they couldn’t win a fight that was 100 to 2. He had to draw the attention to him so they could slip in and out unnoticed, and it wasn't hard to get the attention of people that wanted you dead. 

Kaz looked down at his old pocket watch and waited for the minute hand to hit the top of the watch, signaling that it was 6 bells, before shoving it back into his pocket and taking a step forward. The crowd in front of him noticed him but Kaz was waiting for their leader to come out the group, he wouldn't start the show unless he was the center of attention. 

“You said not to be late, but that clearly didn’t mention that you couldn’t. Come on Rollins, show your face.” Kaz shouted into the dark morning, the sun hadn’t quite risen over the buildings. A murmur shot through the small corwd in front of him and Kaz gestured to the group of people behind him, who were standing ready to fight. 

He watched the rest of the people surrounding the house come together in a group, which Kaz almost let out a laugh at. Never put all your eggs in one basket, or in this case, never put all your fighters in one group. 

You might have a small explosive set off right in the middle of the group. Maybe. 

“Brekker!” Kaz knew that voice, it belonged to Geels, the leader of the Black Tips. Inej had told him that the Black Tips had joined the Dime Lions in protecting the mansion and he definitely had expected it. The man came from the center of the crowd and stopped a few feet away from the first person in the crowd, separating him from them. 

The Black Tips did not like that he was the King of the Barrel, or a barrel boss at all, and had shouted their opinion from the rooftops when they tried to impeach onto Dregs’ territory. Kaz still had no patience for Geels or the Black Tips, not since before the Ice Court and definitely not now. 

“Back for round two, Geels?” 

“Rollins offered me some money to help him get rid of you. And now that your precious Wraith isn’t here to take out my snipers, who can save you now?” The arrogant man sneered. Kaz faltered, Rollins hadn’t told him that Inej was back in town, which meant that he had no faith in Geels, he wanted the Black Tips to fight the Dregs. 

He wanted to get the Black Tips killed, one less gang meant one less problem for the Dime Lions to solve when they began to bring their numbers back to where they were. Rollins was using them as a distraction and using them to his own gain. It was smart. 

Kaz took another step closer to the men and women lined up in front of the mansion, quickly scanning to see if there were any Dime Lions in the crowd in front of him. But there were none. Rollins was using another gang to protect him and his dwindling numbers, and they had killed 20 of the small number just yesterday. 

Kaz was no longer sure if Pekka Rollins was in the mansion anymore, but he would carry on with his plan regardless. There was another gang that needed to learn their lesson, and a gang leader that needed to die. 

But he had another reason for taking a step forward. While Kaz knew he could throw something far, he didn’t want to take any chances that he would miss completely, he needed to make sure that his arrow landed in the centre of the target. So he took another step forward, alone, and he stood less than 10 feet away from the crowd. 

He turned his head so it lined up with his shoulder, to look at the lieutenants behind him and slipped one of his glove clad hands into his pocket, circling his fingers around the small throwable explosive that sat there, waiting for the right moment to be set off. 

“Aim to knock out, try not to kill anyone mercilessly. The Black Tips are collateral damage for Rollins.” Kaz called to them, he heard the word spread through his gang and he turned his head back to face Geels and his gang before slipping the explosive from his pocket. 

He kept it hidden from the Black Tips, hidden behind his bulletproof coat, and he heard the Dregs take a step away from him, shuffling away from the explosive. Kaz’s coat would protect him from most of the blast, but the rest of his gang wouldn't have such protection so they needed the space.

“Backing away already? Leaving your leader to face hi sdeath alone?” Geels gloated, and Kaz grinned. He watched the gleeful look on Geels’ face stay put when the Dregs took another step away from Kaz. Geels thought he was winning, but he was just another step closer to losing and it made Kaz smile at the cluelessness of the man in front of him. 

“No, they just don’t want to get caught.” Kaz commented, he watched the gleeful grin fall into confusion and Kaz took the opportunity to slip the pin from the explosive. He spread his grin even wider and launched the explosive towards the middle of the crowd, trusting that his gang was far enough away. 

Kaz watched the explosive fly over the heads of the first three lines of people and landing in the crowd. He saw the vague recognition on their faces but he turned around and crouched onto his knees before the explosive landed on the ground. 

A loud bang screamed through the quiet morning, and Kaz felt the ground shake and heard the Black Tips scream. He kept his back to the smoke that rose over head, and his coat protected him from any spray. 

Wylan told him it was a mostly harmless explosive, it wasn’t built to kill people but merely cause a distraction which was what he needed. 

Kaz kept himself crouched down for a second longer before his knee screamed at him to stand up. He gave a quick glance to his gang, no one was injured, all of them drawing their weapons. 

Jesper gave him a nod and Kaz stood up, straightening his back before turning around to see the damage that had been caused. Unconscious bodies lay all over the centre of the crowd, where the explosive had landed, and the rest of the crowd was trying to get ahold of their shock. 

He watched people pour out of the alleys beside that house and Kaz grinned. The bomb was just a way to get the rest of the Black Tips out from their hiding place to join the fight. He needed to make his spiders’ job easier. 

Kaz nodded and the Dregs joined the fight. Some ran ahead of him, meeting the Black Tips half way. He heard the familiar sounds of Jesper’s guns as they left out bullets from their chambers, Nina had brought some of her skeletons to the fight. Some people just passed out when they caught sight of the dead walking towards them, but Kaz paid no mind to the walking dead. 

He took a step forward, Nina and Jesper right behind him, and walked till he stood right next to Geels. He trusted his Crows to have his back while he dealt with the Leader of the Black Tips, who had become a pain the side since his took over the leadership. 

Using his cane to balance, he reached down and grabbed the front of Geels’ shirt, Geels’ eyes were open and Kaz knew that he was awake, just maybe not quite functioning enough to fight back. 

“Kaz, 20 minutes!” Jesper shouted in his ear. Kaz nodded and picked up Geels from lying on the floor, the man was heavier than he looked but he eventually pulled himself up until he was face to face with Kaz. The man grimaced and tried to fight back, but Kaz’s grip on his shirt was too strong for him to move too much, and Geels was much too weak to make a useful attempt at escape. 

“Let's go, shall we?” Kaz said, but he couldn’t hear himself think, nevermind speak. He spun Geels around and held up a knife to the man’s throat, and started walking. He knew that the bigger man’s body would keep most of the Black Tips from shooting at him, and his coat and his Crows would protect him from the back. 

He carried on forwards towards the mansion, pushing through the crowds of people fighting in front of him. He had less than 10 minutes to get the man situated in the mansion before Wylan’s explosives would go off, if this went according to plan. 

Roeder should’ve cleared the foyer behind the door and all Kaz needed to do when he got inside was to place Geels somewhere and get himself and Jesper and Nina out of there before it all went up in flames. He had told the Dregs to stay as far away from the mansion as they could, but he never told them why, hopefully they listened. 

Kaz picked up his pace, pushing his way through the crowd and up the steps of the mansion and stopped outside the closed doors. Jesper walked forward and pushed the doors open, which meant that Roeder had been through the foyer, that it was clear of anyone trying to shoot them but Kaz still pushed Geels in first. He let the knife slip from his throat and Geels fell to the floor before turning to look Kaz in the face. 

“4 minutes.” Jesper warned. 

“Go. I'll meet you there.” Kaz demanded, both Jesper and Nina frowned and opened their mouths but Kaz just glared at them. They had to get away from the mansion before it went up in flames, and Kaz was telling the truth he was going to be behind them, just maybe a minute behind. 

Nina was the first to cave and she pulled a grumbling Jesper from the foyer and out of the doors. Kaz watched them run down the stairs before turning back to the man in front of him, flipping the cane around, so he grabbed the bottom of it, and slipping the sharp crow around the back of Geels’ neck and pulled him closer to Kaz. 

“May we never meet again.” Kaz spat into the man. Geels cringed away from him and Kaz slipped the cane from his neck and straightened up. He stepped backwards and turned, walking as fast he could out of the foyer, and shutting the doors behind him. Just in case Geels had half a mind to try escape. 

Kaz had 60 seconds to get as far away from the front of the mansion unless he wanted to get caught in the spray of the explosion. He held his pistol out in front of him, shooting people as he made his way down the steps and into the crowd. He saw Dregs starting to turn away from the mansion, making their way back from the explosion sight. 

30 seconds. 

Kaz felt bullets whizz past him, some hitting his coat, but he paid no mind to them. He kept moving forwards. 

10 seconds. 

He counted the last seconds in his head. 

5 seconds. 

He hoped that his crew and his Crows were far enough away from the mansion. 

1 second. 

He hoped that Inej was far away from the mansion.

Kaz was sent stumbling forwards from the sudden blast behind him, and he used the cane in front of him to keep himself from falling flat onto the ground. He could feel the heat from the fires through his coat and he turned around, watching Rollins’ mansion go down in flames, watching the final master piece of his grand plan to tear down Rollins, brick by brick. 

He turned back around and kept moving his way through the crowd of people, who had abandoned the fight and were running away before the Stadwatch got there. Kaz knew that the Black Tips had paid them to stay away from the fight, but two explosions would break that bargain. 

Kaz and the Dregs had to get far away from this place before they got caught. 

So Kaz ran, slipping into the shadows away from the panic. He knew the way back to their meeting point, he hoped that Nina and Jesper had gotten into the alleyway before him and were well on their way to the point already. Anika and Dirix would make sure the Dregs got to the Slat, or at least the safehouse down the street. 

Kaz carried on walking down the alleyway, adrenaline still flowing through his veins. 

He had a job to finish at the meeting point. 

Chapter Text

Jordie’s eyes slid closed after everyone had left the cages room, he tried to keep his mind quiet of the stories about his baby brother, he didn't need reminders of how he became. He kept his eyes closed, feigning sleep when two people had walked past his open cage, one of them saying that Kaz Brekker was coming at 6 bells.

“We’ve got two bells to get Rollins out of the damn house, the Wraith could be watching. How the fuck does he seem to think this was a good idea?” The second person said, this one was a female voice. Jordie kept his eyes closed as they walked near his cage, and he stayed as still as possible when he felt their eyes on him.

“I don’t know, but I saw Geels walking with boss. Heard he had beef with Brekker.” The first person said and suddenly they were almost out of hearing reach but Jordie opened his eyes and scrambled to the gate to hear the reply, hoping for something useful to be said.

“Everyone has beef with Brekker.” Their laughter faded down the hallway and Jordie dropped his shoulder against the metal bars of the cage, and let out a big sigh and wished he could massage his temples.

It was one thing that knowing Dirtyhands had enemies, but knowing that those enemies were also after his younger brother made it much scarier. But Kaz was coming for him, and all Jordie could do was wait.

Jordie decided to shuffle his way back to the wall, if he wanted to help, maybe he could get himself out of his ropes and try to pick the lock open with the knife up his sleeve, like he had seen many people do in front of him. Once his back hit the wall he was originally resting on, he tried to stretch his sleeve from the tight ropes around his wrist.

“Come on. Come on.” Jordie muttered as he tried to pull his sleeve free. It pulled free and he let out an exhale of relief, a triumphant smile crossing his face. The knife slipped out of the already ripped shirt, he had had to hold the ripped cuffs of his shirt in his palm the whole way to the house or the knife would’ve slipped out, and then it would've all gone to shit.

The knife clanged onto the ground behind him and Jordie scrambled his hands behind him to try stop the damned thing from making such a loud noise. He froze as the knife stilled, hoping that no one heard the metal of the knife hitting the ground over and over again, hoping that he hadn't been found out.

“Thank the Saints.” Jordie whispered, he grabbed the wooden handle of the knife and turned it up, trying to aim the jagged edges of the knife to pull and push against the ropes binding his hands together.

He fiddled around and once the positioning was right, when Jordie could feel the pressure of the knife on the ropes, he start moving the knife up and down. He forced it into a rhythm and slowly the ropes started to loosen, the noise that it was making made him cringe slightly.

It was just before 6 bells by the time his ropes were finally loose enough that Jordie could slip his hands from the bindings, he could tell because someone shouted it down the passage but he had no idea why. He knew that Kaz would be coming shortly, his time in the damned cell were shortening.

“Ha, fuck you too Hertzoon or Rollins. Whatever your name is.” Jordie whispered triumphantly to the fallen ropes behind his back. He brought his hands around to his front and gently rubbed the tender spots where the ropes had tugged on his skin, they were rubbed red and in some parts they had broken skin. Blood trickled down onto his hand from those small cuts.

Jordie stood up and walked over to the cage lock and shoved the knife into the lock, only then did he realize that he needed another knife for him to have any chance at picking the lock open.

Of course he needed another knife. He always had to hide the smaller knives away from Kaz when they lived in their tiny apartment. Kaz had wanted to try picking locks, Jordie didn't want him breaking out of the apartment unnoticed.

Instead, he dropped his hand from the metal lock with a defeated sigh, he was just about to press his back against the metal cages when a loud noise came from outside, accompanied by the rattle of the metal bars.

A bomb.

That must be Kaz, if he was anything like his younger self, he always had a flair for dramatic entrances. It almost made Jordie want to roll his eyes.

“You haven’t changed that much, have you Kazzie?” Jordie muttered to himself. Clearly whatever caused him become Dirtyhands hadn’t made him lose that part of himself, his dramatic side.

Jordie stopped his thinking when he heard the screaming from all around him and he immediately covered his ears and shut his eyes. He had heard enough screaming to last him a lifetime, and he still hadn’t quite gotten used to it.

He kept his ears covered and eyes closed so tight that he didn’t hear the footsteps of someone coming down the hall.

He was pulled from his slight panic when he felt someone appear behind him and he opened his eyes and slowly dropped his hands from his ears. He turned his head and saw a hunched up figure crouching in front of his gate. The figure was picking his lock open, they were coming to set him free.

“Jordan Rietveld.” A familiar voice acknowledged, and Jordie squinted his eyes to give the figure a proper look. He first noticed the dark skin and the long braid that ran down the feminine body and he knew exactly who it was. She had saved him once before.

“Captain Ghafa?” Jordie breathed out before he could stop himself. The woman stopped her picking of the lock and looked up at him, with colder eyes than he had ever seen her wear.

“Is Rollins here?” Captain Ghafa asked, Jordie shook his head and she lowered her eyes to carry on picking lock.

“Someone walked past saying that he had to get disguised. Something about the Wraith being able to spot him if he just walked out.” Jordie knew about the Wraith. They all had heard the stories: wherever Dirtyhands went, the Wraith would be hidden in the shadows behind him ready to silently kill the person who dared try to kill Kaz Brekker.

Captain Ghafa nodded her head slowly and gave the picks one last twist and the lock clicked open. Jordie let out a sigh of relief as she shoved the gate open, he jumped to his feet ready to hand over her knife.

But he was not expecting her to shove him up against the wall, holding the knife that she had snatched from his hands up to his throat. Her eyes held none of the warmth that they had held on The Wraith instead they held a burning anger that made Jordie verbally gulp, she only responded by pressing harder to his throat. Not enough to draw blood.

“You will do as I say, varalica.” Jordie’s Suli may be a little rusty but he knew exactly what she was calling him. Imposter.

But all he did was nod and she lowered her knife, never letting her eye sight slide from his face. She grabbed his shoulder and pushed him to walk out in front of her, and Jordie did so. He just wanted to get out of the damned house and get to his brother, even if he had to use the help of a very pissed off Captain.

Inej pushed him in front of her, trying to focus on the job and not the fact that this imposter had eyes that looked so much like Kaz’s ones, eyes that she knew so well. She forced the thoughts to the side, instead focusing on her hold on her knife.

There should not be anyone roaming the halls, she and Roeder had killed most of them on the way in, but she could never be too careful.

“This way.” Inej pulled Rietveld’s shoulder and turned them towards the open door where she and Roeder had separated from Wylan and Rotty. If her calculations were correct, Wylan and Rotty should be waiting for her around the corner outside the house, they should have finished planting the bombs by then.

“Wraith.” Roeder quietly called from down the hallway. Inej watched Rietveld stiffen, he knew the name Wraith but didn’t know that she was, or had been, the Wraith. She gave a nod to Roeder and the three of them walked out of the door and into the barley lit sky.

She spotted Wylan’s red curls peeking out from around the corner and quiet whisperings from his and Rotty’s conversation, they had gotten out alright and she was immensely grateful that they were unharmed. She carried on the rest of the way to the corner in silence, the men with her sensing the tension she held in it.

“Is this him?” Rotty asked as they came around the corner, Wylan turned around to face her. Inej nodded and Wylan grabbed hold of Rietveld’s shirt, holding him from running. Inej knew he wouldn’t but it couldn’t hurt to be extra careful. However, she did not miss the look of shock on Wylan's face when he caught sight of Rietveld's face, she knew that he also saw the similarities between him and Kaz.

“Are we taking him to the Slat?” Roeder asked as they walked down the pathway and out onto the street, they could hear the fight in the front garden but they had strict instructions from Kaz to leave immediately.

“No, he’s going to a safehouse. You two are going back to the Slat.” Wylan said before she could get the chance to. Rotty and Roeder bid them goodbye and carried on walking down the street while her and Wylan, who still had a grip on Rietveld’s shirt, turned down the alleyway.

“Where are we going?” Rietveld asked when they were about halfway to the safehouse, Inej wanted to roll her eyes and make a retort but there was something that felt so wrong about saying it to him. Inej had an unsettled feeling about the real identity of this man and how the hell Pekka Rollins had managed to get him in his custody.

“You’ll see. Dirtyhands will deal with you there.” Inej settled on being nonchalant. Wylan gave her a wide eyed look but she just shrugged, she had no idea what to do with this man except to let Kaz deal with him.

Rietveld seemed to relax slightly, seeming relieved for some reason or another. Inej ignored it before they stepped into the open street where their safe house sat, dark with no candles to light up the windows in the early morning light. It was a small house with a decent amount of space from others, enough space that their conversations would be overheard by nosy neighbors.

“I’m going to check if the house is safe.” Inej muttered, Wylan stopped with Rietveld on the edge of the property and she scaled the wall. She pushed the window open and jumped inside, the change in light took a second to get used to, but nevertheless she kept moving.

She methodically went through each room, there weren’t too many, and when she was pleased with the emptiness she finally unlocked the door to open it for Wylan and Rietveld. There wasn’t much to the house, almost no furniture, except for a chair in the corner of the main room, which was broken. And maybe the stench of blood.

They pulled Rietveld into the room and watched him stand, from first glance he didn't look very scary but she knew that looks could be deceiving. Saints, she created her persona on that fact.

“Inej? Wylan?” she heard Nina call before opening the door to the main room. Inej heard the door open and in walked Jesper and Nina. Jesper was wearing the blue coat that they had gotten for him, it had blue threading that looked oh so much like Wylan’s eyes, and Nina was dressed in a grey bulletproof coat as well.

“Where’s Kaz?” Wylan asked after Jesper had wrapped his arm around him. Inej dropped her eyes from the happy couple, she always felt a twinge of jealousy at the open displays of affection and comfort that they had. She wouldn’t give up Kaz for anything, she just wished that she could stand his touch enough for him to wrap his arm around her shoulders, even if she knew he couldn't handle it. Yet.

“He said he would be right behind us.” Nina answered, she was trying to hide her worry from the rest of them but Inej knew her well. One look at Jesper’s worried face and she knew. She knew that he might have been too close to the blast of the mansion.

Inej was about to open her mouth when she heard the front door slam open, and the familiar sound of the cane hitting the ground of the echoing house. She watched him come through the door, his black shirt clung to his skin and she knew that it was covered in blood.

He had specks of blood covering all of the exposed skin, and a dangerous look in his eyes. He stopped in the doorway and stared at Rietveld, who had turned around to face Kaz, his eyes wide and shock evident on his face. There was a silence in the room and Inej kept moving her eyes between the two men in front of her.

“Kaz…” Rietveld whispered, before a grin started pulling at his lips. Inej held her breath as she watched Kaz’s eyes darken and he rushed forward, shoving Rietveld up against the wall behind them. The crow cane was pressed against Rietveld’s throat and Kaz’s face pulled into an angry distortion that made her, and the others, take a step back.

“Who the hell are you?”

Chapter Text

Kaz entered the room, and suddenly the world felt as if it was spinning at a million miles an hour. The wind wrapping around his legs, keeping his legs in place, and the sudden awareness of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears was terrifyingly loud. 

The man in the centre of the room stayed still, as if the wind didn’t affect him. As if the winds were surrounding only Kaz. 

The howling winds started creeping up his body as he watched the man start to turn around from his position facing the wall, and with each degree the man turned, the winds crawled higher around Kaz. Just as the man’s face stopped directly opposite his, the winds were almost about to suffocate him, threatening to throw him down. 

And all he could hear was the wind in his ears as he stared at the man, the grip he had on his cane was the only thing preventing him from getting blown over. The air wrapping around him like a hurricane, making him shake and tremble.   

He was trapped in a trance, kept in place by the wind howling around him. The only anchor keeping him from getting swept into the air was the deep brown eyes staring at him through the winds. The older brown eyes that kept him from flying away or sinking into the ocean that was always below him, waiting to catch him when he falls. 

Kaz took in the deep brown eyes and the long floppy hair that hung over the man’s forehead, a few curls sticking to his skin. The man stood tall against the swirling winds, he stood still and strong with set shoulders, his hair not even moving an inch in the winds that threatened to suffocate Kaz. 

This is what he always dreamt Jordie would look like if he had had the chance to grow up. 

“Kaz…” He watched the man’s mouth form his name with lips. His voice louder than any wind, but knocking the breath out of Kaz’s lungs. The smile beginning to pull at the man’s lips was wrong. 

It wasn’t Jordie’s smile. It was the imposter’s smile. 

And all of a sudden, the world stopped. The winds stopped dead and everything went silent. Kaz was falling, tipping over to the side, tipping into the water with no land in sight. 

Water replaced the winds and it was slowly covering his feet, and rising. Rising around his ankles and his gloved hands shook as he struggled to stay above the rising water. The current was pulling him forward, threatening to tip him face first into it. It could swallow him up whole, drown him with out an ounce of remorse. 

So, Kaz did what he always did, he shoved his cane forward and forced himself to change his fall into a stride, a stride that stepped out of the water and onto drier land. The drier land that held everything that he needed to carry on walking, the land that held the strength to let Kaz take another stride forwards.

A stride that took him closer to the man who had the same eyes as Jordie but a different smile. A smile that was too wrong to be on his brother's almost face. 

It made Kaz angry. 

With each stride closer to the man, Kaz grew angrier. Angrier and angrier. Each step signifying the anger than he had accumulated. Kaz gripped the head of the cane and swung the other side of it into his left hand, holding it as a barrier between him and the imposter. Two of the world’s foulest creations with a barrier separating them. 

Kaz pushed the cane against the man’s chest and rushed them both towards the wall, hitting it with a loud noise. A harsh breath exited the man’s lips and Kaz pushed the side of his cane against the man’s throat, the beak of the cane between the wall and the cane. 

Kaz knew that all he had to do was flip the cane to face the beak towards him and the man would be killed instantly. Choked to death, just as Kaz drowned in the harbor the day that the real Jordie had died. 

Instead Kaz leaned forward, and whispered 

“Who the hell are you?” 

Kaz watched the man’s dark eyes shift through emotions: anger, confusion, hurt, betrayal, uncertainty, fear. The brown eyes were staring into his eyes, trying to see into his soul but Kaz pushed his cane closer to the man’s throat. Threatening him with death but the man stood firm. Just as Jordie did. 

“It’s me Jordie.” The man tried, but Kaz just ground his teeth and pressed harder onto his cane. The man’s voice was rougher than he expected, and his Jordie had no rough voice. Not even on his last days. Not when the plague had broken ribs and scarred throats.  

“I don’t know a Jordie.” Kaz growled, his voice laced with a venom strong enough to poison a river with a single drop.  “I won’t ask again, what is your name?” 

“My name is Jordan Rietveld. I am your brother, Kaz.” Dark waves of anger flooded through him, the man was lying. His brother was dead. He would know, he could still feel the flesh under his fingernails. 

The black wave of that anger consumed his sight, slowly thinning the oxygen flowing to his lungs. And for a second Kaz was transported to green fields filled with yellow flowers, and Kaz saw a young boy with the same brown eyes were staring back at him. 

Kaz blinked and the same damned brown eyes were staring at him, but they were no longer surrounded by green fields, instead surrounded by grey walls that smelt like blood.

“I don’t have a brother.” Kaz forced out. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth either. The brown eyes staring back at him were filled with hurt, hurt that looked so familiar to Kaz that it made him falter.

Hurt that turned into anger just as fast. 

“Stop lying to yourself, Kazimir Elias Rietveld. Stop lying to yourself and everyone around you.” The man ground out and Kaz faltered again, his grip loosening on his cane. 

“Kazimir Elias Rietveld! Come out, ma says it's dinner time!” 

Kaz, in his faltered state, felt the man grip on his cane and push him back. Kaz was launched into the middle of the room, stumbling to change the grip on his cane to keep himself from falling. His cane slammed into the ground and Kaz used it as an anchor to stop himself from moving.

The winds may have stayed silent but the green fields returned, they returned behind his eyes and past the grey walls of the room. 

“Come on Kaz! It’s me Jordie. Come out of hiding, you won this round.” 

Kaz fought with every last piece of energy to stay standing, to stay breathing, as Jordie’s voice filled his ears. The man took a step closer to Kaz with his hands stretched out to his side, and Kaz tightened his grip onto his cane. The leather squeaking each time his sweat soaked fingers moved. 

He held onto his cane, not to prepare for a swing but to stop himself from dropping it into the waters below him. He knew he would fall into the waves without it. 

“Your name is Kazimir Elias Rietveld and my name is Jordan Johannus Rietveld. I am your brother. We grew up on a farm in Lij with Ma and Da, Astria Mary Rietveld and Elijah Howard Rietveld.” the man said and Kaz gripped his cane harder. 

“Astria! Kaz and Jordie will stay with you. I’m going to find a midwife.” Pa’s voice called through the house. Kaz watched his mother grab hold of her big stomach and held onto Jordie’s hand a little bit tighter. 

This isn’t real. This isn’t real. This isn’t real. 

“Ma died when you were 5 years old, her and Alia both. Then it was just you, me and Da on the farm. The same farm that you and the girl from the neighboring one used to catch frogs from the pond down at the bottom of the fields.” 

Kaz shut his eyes and gripped onto the head of his cane with two hands, trying to keep himself standing as the man in front of him threw his life, his truth, into the open air. But Kaz couldn’t find the strength to open his mouth and tell him to stop. 

“You used to give all the frogs names and I would always tell you two that they wouldn’t care if they had names or not but you never listened. You just carried on naming all the frogs, then the birds and cows. Until all the Saint damned animals had names.” 

“Kaz! You can’t name all the frogs yourself! Leave some for me!” A high pitched voice screamed as he tore down the hill with a frog in his hand, trying to get it to the pond at the bottom. He had already named it Alia, after his lost sister. He always names the female frogs Alia, then she would always stay with him. 

“Whenever we played hide and seek you always used to hide out in the barn, every time in a different place. I could never find you, no one could. You were only found when you wanted to be found.” 

Kaz was swarmed by all the memories of green fields filling the grey room of the house, of the morning sun pouring through the windows onto the floor boards that reminded him of the wooden floors that he used to dance with his mom on. Even with his eyes closed he could see it. 

“Kaz, when we left Lij you cried. You clung onto the postbox outside screaming at me that you didn’t want to leave and that you hated me. Mary-Anne from next door had Elise come out to distract you so I could unwrap your arms from the pole.” 

“Kaz, you have to let go. The faster you go then the faster you can come back.” Elise sobbed onto Kaz, her fingers holding onto his arms as Jordie pulled them from their place wrapped around the pole. Kaz let him. 

Kaz remembered holding onto the pole, he didn’t want to leave the farm. He could still feel the anguish that he had felt that day. It made his stomach flip and he could almost hear the thunder that rolled down those fields that day. 

“Saints, you didn’t speak to me for 4 days after we left for Ketterdam. You only spoke when I bought you one of those hot chocolates from the street shop down the road. Kaz, you hated me for making you leave.” 

He remembered those hot chocolates, how close they were to the ones that Da used to make for them before he died. It was only after the first few hot chocolates that Kaz began to speak to his brother again, his previous anger and hurt started falling away at the sweet smell. 

Kaz squeezed his eyes tighter, trying to stop the tears that wanted to run down his face. The man in front of him looked like Jordie and knew things that only Jordie would know. He was getting stripped of his armor without his consent, but a part of him was welcoming it. Kaz Rietveld welcomed it. 

“But you died.” Kaz wanted to scream but the words stayed halfway up his throat. 

“Kaz, look at me.” 

Kaz’s eyes flew open. The man was standing closer, his shirt sleeves rolled up his arm exposing a scar that ran down his arm. 

The exact same scar that Jordie had for weeks before the plague came. 

“I got this scar when you and I decided to climb to the rooftop of the apartment building we lived in. You slipped off the roof and over the edge. You got those scars on the insides of your hands from grabbing onto the edge of the roof, it was sharp but you held on even if it hurt. I grabbed onto you and pulled you up, scrapping my arm on the edge of the bricks.” 

Kaz remembered that day too well. The terrified look in Jordie’s eyes when he grabbed onto Kaz’s forearms and pulled his small body over the edge of the roof and back onto the rooftop. His hands had hurt for weeks after that day, Jordie’s arm had hurt for longer. 

“Kaz, please, it's Jordie.” The man cried out, with tears in his eyes and a slight quiver in his tone that brought Kaz back to reality, his mind empty and the only thing guiding him to the light was the thing that he had heard Jordie say oh-so many times during the plague. 

“Kaz, it's Jordie.” 

Kaz dropped his cane from his hands, not hearing it clatter to the ground, and looked the man, Jordie, in the eyes. His hand lifted to his heart and held it there, the same place that Kaz used to place his hand on Jordie’s chest when they slept on the streets. He could feel his own heartbeat just as he used to feel Jordie's. 

“Jordie..?” Kaz whispered. 

Jordie, the one right in front of him, nodded and held his arms out in front of him. Kaz felt his legs mindlessly take a step forward, his hands still held tight to his chest, and he stood less than a stride away from the tips of his brother’s hands. 

“Jordie?” Kaz uttered in disbelief. 

Jordie nodded, tears ready to start pouring down his face. Kaz pulled his hand from his chest and placed it under his own eye, feeling one lonely tear run down his face. The water hit the top of his glove and Kaz started to sway. 

His eyes blurred over and he stumbled forward, falling into his brother’s arms. A black veil covered his eyes and he felt the world fell away into nothingness, only a small sliver of pain from somewhere below his heart. 

Kaz Rietveld slipped into nothingness surrounded by his big brother’s ready arms, catching him before even he hit the ground. 

Chapter Text

Inej hadn’t been able to move since Kaz had entered the room. She was rooted in her spot and her eyes trained on the two boys, brothers?, who were fighting in front of her. Kaz looked like his age, his face shifting through emotions almost fast enough than she could read them, his eyes were open and filled with unfiltered pain.  

“Jordie..?” Kaz’s voice was so quiet that she almost didn’t hear it. His voice was so soft, so confused, that Inej felt that she had imagined it. His face and eyes filled with lifelong pain, pain that he had never let flow across his face the whole time she had known him.   

“Jordie?” Kaz whispered louder. Inej knew that if it was this hard for her to believe that Kaz’s brother was alive over the past years, she couldn’t imagine what it was like for Kaz. Kaz who had no hope for himself, who moved through everyday without letting himself feel anything besides anger. Even in front of her. 

Inej watched a long tear run down Kaz’s face and hit his glove, and she felt her own join, rolling down her face. She watched Kaz take a step closer to his brother, who had his arms reaching out, before his face went paler than normal and his eyes slid to the back of his head. 

She watched Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel, faint. Trusting his brother to catch him when he fell. 

She went rigid and felt helpless as Jordan’s arms wrapped around Kaz’s body, stopping the body’s motion which its destination was the ground. Kaz’s head landed on Jordan’s chest and the latter’s hands shifted him to the ground. Jordan knelt by Kaz's head, and Kaz's eyes were shut closed. 

“Kaz?” Jordan’s voice rang through her head but it felt like an echo. An echo that disappeared as fast as it came. 

Jordan’s hands fluttered around his brother’s body, touching his neck for a pulse and keeping it there, holding onto the measure of life that was only tell that Kaz was still breathing. He held his hand on Kaz’s bare skin. Kaz wouldn’t want that. 

“Jordan. Don’t touch him.” Jesper’s voice cut through the Kaz wouldn’t want this that repeated over and over in Inej’s head. Jesper grabbed Jordan’s hand and gently pulled it off Kaz’s neck, removing the skin to skin contact and only once the hand was lifted, she felt like she could breathe again. 

“Inej?” Nina’s gentle voice called out to her. Inej tore her eyes from Kaz’s pale face and brought her eyes to Nina’s soft green ones, eyes that appeared in front of her without warninh. Nina was looking at her like she was consoling a child, and Inej knew she was no child, but couldn’t help but be glad to see the green eyes instead of the white face. 

“He’s going to be okay, ‘Nej.” Wylan’s soft voice shared, he was standing next to Inej, his hand hovering just above her arm. He wasn’t touching her but she could feel the heat from his hand and she pulled her arm away. She didn't want to feel his body heat, she wanted to fell Kaz's body heat, his fingers wrapped in hers. Telling her that he is alive and not dead by his brother's side. 

Kaz. Kaz. Kaz. 

Inej stepped past Nina with her warm green eyes and moved to stand behind Jesper and Jordan. Jordan was kneeling by Kaz’s head, his hands aching out to reach out to Kaz, and Jesper stood next to Jordan’s shoulder, keeping him from moving towards Kaz.  Kaz who looked dead but most of her knew that he was just sleeping. 

“Inej…” Jesper’s voice tried, but she ignored it. She knelt down beside Kaz’s unconscious form, she had seen him asleep enough times to count but the tightness on his face was something she knew too well. 

Kaz was not resting peacefully. But he lay completely still. He always got like this when he over worked himself, something that Inej threatened to use one of her knives on him for. He never listened, she didn't know why she was surprised each time it happened. 

She kept her eyes trained on his face, waiting for any sign of consciousness pulling him to her. She ached to reach out and smooth the sharp lines on his face, they looked so wrong on his face with his eyes closed. She wanted to smooth them out with her fingers, watch them disappear from his face. 

She was about to give in and reach out to tuck a strand of hair that had fallen onto his forehead when his mouth twitched and his eyes started to flutter open. His eyes were unseeing but she knew they would come around fast. 

“Move away.” Inej whispered, using her Captain voice. She knew Kaz would be disoriented when he finally came too, he would hate to be crowded. She knew how to deal with an exhausted Kaz that had just passed out, the others didn’t. He wouldn't want anyone near him. 

“‘Nej?” Kaz’s raspy voice mumbled. Inej nodded and moved away from him, to give him enough space to push himself up into a sitting position. She watched him blink a few more times and his stress lines cut deeper into his face. He placed his hands on either side of him, pushing himself up from the floor. 

Once he had pushed himself to a sitting position, Inej gave him a small encouraging smile. He kept his head faced into his lap and raised his gloved hand to run his hand through his hair. He winced and Inej saw it. 

“Kaz, where are you hurt?” He looked up at her and glared. Inej felt herself lighten a little, he was not so out of it that he couldn’t give her his trademarked glare when she asked.  

“Nowhere anymore than usual.” Kaz said, his icy glare pouring into her eyes. Inej then knew that his leg was the cause of the wince, so she stood up to get his cane that lay a few feet behind where they were sitting. 

She turned around and handed him his cane, she watched him nod at her and brace himself to push himself into a standing position. He placed his hand on the top of the cane and pulled himself onto his feet, sweat already glistening his forehead and his face pulled into a wince. 

“The mansion is down the road, we can go there to rest.” Wylan offered, it was only then that she realized that Jesper must have taken Nina and Jordan out of the room, Wylan had his head peered around the door to the room. They had all left Inej and Kaz alone, she was eternally grateful for them to let Kaz wake up with her alone. 

“I need to go to the Slat.” Kaz grunted, his hand was in his hair trying to move it into a respectable place. Inej turned to face him, hands on her hips and a glare in her eye. He would not push any of them away while he dealt with this, she would be there all the way. 

“You need rest, first. I'll send a runner down to the Slat.” Inej ordered. Kaz glowered back at her, but she knew that he needed the rest. He knew that he needed the rest and privacy of the Van Eck mansion. 

“We’ll be there in a second, thank you Wylan.” Inej responded with a smile when she turned to face the curly haired boy. He nodded before slipping away and closing the door behind him, leaving Inej and Kaz alone in the room. 

They stayed in silence, Inej knew not to push Kaz until he was ready, so with one last glance at him she turned away and walked to the door. She pulled the door open and stepped through. 

Kaz needed to come out on his own. 

She walked out of the house and into the morning light, the others were waiting on the front lawn. Nina was openly staring at Jordan, who looked positively scared at her staring. Jesper and Wylan stood next to them, Jesper’s arm wrapped around his shoulders. They all looked like they needed a whole day of sleep, even if the rest of the city was just waking up. 

“Is he coming?” Jordan asked, Inej gave him a tight lipped smile and nodded. She didn’t know who Kaz would be when he walked out of those doors, if Kaz would push them away. She just hoped that he would let the past events sink in before he pulled away. 

“Would you stop looking at me like that?” Jordan begged, Inej chuckled as Nina narrowed her eyes at the man. Nina was staring at his face, squinting her eyes trying to see the details of his face. 

“Nina, dear. Would you quit staring at him like a hawk? You look like a poorly crafted sculpture.” Kaz’s stony voice came from the steps to the house. Inej hadn’t heard him open the door. 

He walked down the steps and closer to the group, gripping onto the railing harder than he should’ve needed to. He looked more put together than he had 5 minutes before, Inej noted, but he avoided eye contact with each of them. He avoided looking at Jordan all together. 

“Well? Are we going or not?” Kaz grimaced, he took a step towards down the street and wobbled. His leg was almost crumbling under the weight of his body. Inej, acting on instinct, rushed forward to stop him from falling over, catching his right arm and pulling him up from falling over. 

“Kaz, you are going to fall if you carry on walking.” Inej grunted as the weight that he was failing to keep off her landed on her shoulder. Kaz swore and Inej looked around for Jesper who appeared on Kaz’s other side, already gripping onto Kaz's left arm. 

“I’m fine.” Kaz glared. 

“Kaz, we are going to end up carrying you if you try to walk more.” Inej reminded him. They had done it before, and Kaz didn’t look at them for two weeks after that, they also hated it as much as he did. 

“Fine.” Kaz cursed, his face twitching in pain. Inej nodded at Jesper and he grabbed Kaz’s coat covered arm and pulled it around his neck, Kaz hissed and they took a step forward. They had done this a few times before as well, they knew how to do it efficiently.  

Kaz swore as they took another step forward, Jesper acting as a lifesize crutch and Inej on the other side of him as a smaller pillar for him to lean on. Nina, Jordan and Wylan followed in silence behind them. 

Thankfully, the Van Eck mansion was only 4 blocks away and this part of Ketterdam was quiet at that time in the morning. Inej knew how damaging it would be to Kaz’s reputation if someone saw them carrying him, it would never recover and Inej knew that Kaz would suffer the consequences. 

Wylan pushed the front door of the mansion open and Jesper and Inej walked Kaz inside. They walked up the stairs and into the first guest bedroom they walked past, and settled Kaz down on the bed. Kaz was sweating and trembling as he sat on the edge of his bed, his fingers running through his hair that had fallen onto his forehead. 

“I could’ve stayed downstairs.” Kaz frowned. Inej ignored him and placed the cane down next to the bed, somewhere close enough for him to reach after he rested. Inej would threaten him to sleep if she had to, it might had to come that. 

“Kaz, you need to rest. We all need to rest.” Inej said softly. She watched his armor slip and his eyes fill with exhaustion, his hands falling to his side. He looked like he was about to fight her but he dropped his head and nodded. 

He kicked his shoes off and slid his coat on the bed beside him, untying his tie as he scooted backwards onto the bed. Inej stood silently, watching the grimacing and aches that appeared onto his face. She wanted to help him but she knew that he wouldn't allow her to get anywhere near him in this state. 

He settled himself against the pillows behind him, his movements getting slower and slower as the exhaustion settled into him. He slid his gloves off and placed them neatly on the table next to the bed. He sent his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes, his face already softer than it was the last time he closed his eyes. 

“Sleep, my love. We’ll all be here when you wake up.” Inej whispered, she knew he had heard her but she turned away before he could say anything. She slipped out of the room and into the hallway. 

She closed the door behind her, letting the lock click quietly before stepping away from the door and heading down to the other guest rooms on the floor. She was just about to open the lock to hers when she heard a quiet voice call from down the hall. 

“Captain Ghafa?” Jordan Rietveld called. Inej let her hand drop from the handle before turning around to face the man, he was fiddling with his fingers. Something similar to what Kaz did when he got overwhelmed, clearly it was a family trait. 

“Please call me Inej, Jordan.” 

“Please just Jordie. How is he?” He asked, Inej knew not to lie to him. He had also just learnt that his brother was alive, so she would do what she could to ease his worries that morning. 

“He’s just tired. Give him some time and go have a rest. There will be time to talk later.”

Chapter Text

Jordie walked downstairs 7 bells later, after a shower and a fresh change of clothes that had appeared while he slept. Seeing Kaz for the first time in 11 years, and getting kidnapped again had exhausted him enough for him to fall right asleep. 

He knew that Kaz would’ve been hard to get through to, it had never been easy to change Kaz’s mind but 11 years worth of changing was hard. Jordie found it extremely difficult to part from his brother earlier that day. But Kaz had always dealt with things better on his own, Jordie knew it would be better for both of them if Kaz had his space to deal with it. 

Jordie was left on his own, in a new house with people he hadn’t met but had risked their lives to save his and his brother’s. He wanted to find them, to thank them for saving his life and for reuniting him with Kaz. 

That's how Jordie found himself walking around a Mercher’s mansion trying to find the kitchen that the curly haired boy, Wylan, had told him about. It was almost dark but they had all been sleeping the whole day and it seemed that everyone was still waking up. The mansion was dead silent accept for a sound down the hallway that he was walking down. 

He heard something drop and clatter onto something and Jordie immediately walked faster down to the room. He reached the doorway to the sound and hesitated outside before something else clattered onto the table and he walked inside. He saw Jesper walking around the kitchen trying to put something into the coffee mug in front of him, but there was more powder on the table than in the mug. 

“Good morning.” Jesper grumbled as he swung his hand around looking for something. His hand moved and was about to knock over the mug but Jordie had noticed it before and reached over to move the mug before it fell off the table. 

“Evening.” Jordie muttered as he handed the mug to the man, who looked like he was still half asleep. He took the mug and placed it back down on the table, pouring water into it. 

“You and Kaz, both fast.” The man muttered before stirring whatever was in the mug and downing it down fast. Jordie furrowed his eyebrows while the man grimaced and slammed the mug down on the table again. 

“Sorry, I just needed coffee.” Jesper was significantly brighter after his coffee, and Jordie felt himself smile at the odd man in front of him. Jesper gestured to the table and Jordie sat down in one of the kitchen chairs watching Jesper flurry around the room trying to put together another cup of coffee. 

“Is anyone else awake yet?” Jordie asked, he just wanted to know if Kaz was ignoring him. If he was in a cold shoulder mood like he was when they first came to Ketterdam 11 years ago. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened and Jordie definitely expected it to happen. 

“Nina and Wylan have gone to get waffles. Inej is somewhere, I saw her earlier but she just disappeared somewhere, probably her boat or the Slat. Kaz is still sleeping, or in his room. I didn’t dare knock, I don’t want a knife in the head.” Jesper responded. 

Jesper placed another mug on the table and poured coffee into it before sliding it to the spot in front of Jordie. He gave the Zemeni man a small smile before taking a sip of the bitter liquid, it burned his tongue but the hazy feeling he had in his head disappeared and Jordie felt more awake than he did a few minutes before. 

“Wylan and Nina should be back in the next few minutes, I’ll try to find Inej to see if she can get Kaz up. She has the most chance of surviving.” Jesper said and Jordie absentmindedly nodded. He stared into the dark liquid in the mug in his hands, watching it swirl around inside, only looked up when he heard thumping coming from down the hallway. 

“There's no need. I’m awake, Jes.” A deep gravelly voice came from behind them. Jordie placed the mug down and turned around, seeing Kaz dressed in an impeccable suit and hair slicked back. His coffee brown eyes looked so familiar yet so different to the one's that Jordie remembered, the ones that belonged to the 9 year old that he had left behind.  

“I’ll leave you to it.” Jesper said awkwardly before leaving the kitchen. Jordie stood up and gave Kaz a cautious smile. 

“Hello, brother.” 

The words were out of Kaz’s mouth before he could stop them, and he watched his brother brighten immediately after they left his mouth. Jordie was standing in front of him with a smile on his face, as if he never left. As if they hadn't been gone from each other's lives for 11 years. 

“Hello, Kazzie.” Kaz had spent many nights wanting to hear that name come from his brother’s mouth, he had missed it. Instead of giving his brother a full grin, he relaxed against the doorway, letting it help ease the weight on his leg. 

“Please don’t call me that in front of Jesper, he’ll never let me live it down.” Kaz reasoned. He didn’t know what would happen if his chosen brother started calling him that, and he didn’t want to find out. 

“Deal.” Jordie’s smile was easy. It was more familiar than it was earlier that day and it made Kaz drop his smile from his own face. 

It was too familiar, he never thought he would see it again and now that he was, he almost couldn’t find it in himself to believe that it was real. His brother was alive and standing in the kitchen of the Van Eck mansion grinning like an idiot. 

Kaz felt the pressure build up behind his eyes, and his grip on his cane loosen to rest it against the doorway to the kitchen. He looked down at his shaking hands and then back up at Jordie, who had stepped a step closer towards him, concern lacing his eyes and Kaz was glad that Jesper had left the room earlier. 

“Kaz…?” Jordie’s voice was full of concern and it became too much for him to bear alone. Kaz launched himself into his brother’s arms, gripping Jordie's shirt on his back tight in his fisted hands. Telling himself that Jordie was back, that he was real. 

Kaz buried his face in his brother’s shirt covered shoulder, and let a few tears run from his eyes and onto the shirt. Jordie’s arms were wrapped around his back, holding him tight just like he did when the plague came. He let himself hold onto the body that was so different to his brother's body that he had clung to in the harbors, this body had heat and Kaz reveled in it. 

Kaz held on for a second longer, before pulling away. He had too many questions to ask, too many answers needed from his brother. He pushed himself from the hug and stepped away from Jordie, whose arms had fallen back down to the side. 

“Where were you?” Kaz asked, that was the first question. He straightened his tie and smoothed down his slacks before looking back at his brother, who was looking down at the floor and Kaz knew that Jordie was ashamed of the answer. That wasn't a habit he had grown out of. 

“Ravka.” 

“Ravka?” Kaz repeated in disbelief. Jordie was in beautiful Ravka while he suffered here in Ketterdam. Where he had to grow up to become one of the monsters that they had grown up hearing about. 

“Kaz..” Jordie tried but Kaz squeezed his eyes shut. Cursing the world for being unfair. His brother got out and he didn’t. He wasn't given the chance. 

“Did you even look for me?” Kaz whispered. Kaz Rietveld wanted to know why his older brother was alive and had left him to sink in the harbors of Ketterdam. He wanted to know why Jordie got out and why he didn’t. 

“What?” 

“Did you even look for me? I spend eleven years thinking my brother is dead and suddenly he turns up looking for the memorial.” Kaz shouted, the rage bubbling out of him with no stopping it. 

Kaz clenched his hands tight to himself, trying to control the rage at the world. Jordie got out of the life that he had thrown them into, and Kaz suffered the consequences. He wanted to scream at the unfairness between them. 

“Kaz, I thought you died in the plague.” Kaz stopped dead, his thoughts shutting up and his anger deflating from him. 

“What?” 

“I was at that memorial to see if your name was up there. Instead I saw my own.” Kaz let out a broken breath of disbelief. Why else would Jordie be at the memorial? Why else would anyone be at the damned memorial except to look for someone’s name who died. 

“Fuck.” He was being unfair. 

There was silence in the room, neither of them wanting to speak, both of them staring at each other. But they still didn’t hear Inej emerge from the shadows and stand next to Kaz. Jordie jumped at the sight of her but Kaz relaxed. Inej would help him, she always did. 

“How did you survive?” Inej asked, she stepped closer to Kaz, resting her arm near his. He leant against the doorway and kept his eyes trained on his brother, who had backtracked closer to the table. 

He seemed to be getting his thoughts together, and Inej hovered her hand above Kaz’s arm, waiting for him to shoo her off. But he didn’t. He needed her strength to get through this. 

How had he gotten it so wrong that he thought his own blood brother was dead. 

Inej let her hand fall onto his bicep, and moved herself away from his shoulder. They waited in silence while Jordie got his story right in his head. Jordie wouldn’t tell him a lie, he never did. 

“I was washed up onto an island somewhere close to here, a Grisha man pulled me onto the shore. I remember bits of the boat ride from Ketterdam to Ravka. I grew up the last of my teenage life just past Os Kervo.” Jordie’s voice washed over the room, breaking the silence. 

“Holy shit.” Kaz heard Jesper’s quiet whisper. Kaz couldn’t find it in him to tell Jesper to get out, he couldn’t find it in him to open his mouth. Not yet. 

But there was one last question that Kaz needed to know the answer to. 

“What’s the last thing you remember from the plague?” Kaz’s hoarse voice asked. Jordie looked back up at him and tilted his head, something he had done for all the years that Kaz had been his brother. 

“Just seeing you getting carried by the bodymen. I blacked out after that. Woke up on the island, no idea how I got there.” Part of Kaz was eternally grateful that Jordie didn’t know what Kaz had done. How he used his body to save himself. 

“Kaz?” Inej’s quiet voice pulled him back from the drowning water of the harbors. The heat from her hand kept him floating above the surface of the water. It was in her voice that he found the strength to tell Jordie. 

“You were put on the Reaper’s Barge with me. That's how you ended up on the water.” 

Kaz dropped his eyes from his brother and focused on the floor. He couldn’t look at his brother standing alive in front of him when his mind threatened to drown him with the memories of younger Jordie’s face in the water. 

“Oh, Saints. Kaz. I’m so sorry.” Jordie’s broken voice cut through the memories. Corpses didn’t apologize. Inej made a sound of disapproval, Kaz assumed that Jordie had taken a step forward. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Kaz forced out after a second of silence, he pushed all thoughts of water from his mind. Straightening his face, he looked up to see the mirroring looks of sadness and pity on both Jesper’s and Jordie’s faces. 

He hated it. 

“Kaz..” Jordie tried but Kaz just shot a glare at him. He faltered and stepped backwards. 

They stayed in silence, Kaz staring at Jordie. Trying to push his thoughts far away from the surface where they could drown him. 

They were brought out of the silence by the front door swinging open. 

“We are back. With waffles. Most of them are mine, you’ll have to share the rest.” Nina’s loud voice shouted down the foyer and into the kitchen. Kaz watched Jordie drop his hands to his side and sit down on one of the chairs. 

Kaz stayed where he was with Inej’s hand on his blazer-covered arm, the heat from her hand keeping the waters at bay. He sighed and raised his gloved hands to rest one of them on Inej’s and run the other through his hair. 

“Are we interrupting anything?” Wylan asked, Kaz dropped his hand from his hair and Inej let go of his arm, gently turning her hand to give his hand a squeeze. 

“No.” Kaz pulled his hand from hers and moved to the other side of the table, sitting across from Jordie and Inej sitting next to him. Nina dumped the bag of waffles on the table and gestured to it. 

“Alright waffle time.” 

“Nina, dear. Are we ever going to eat anything else?” Kaz groaned, rolling his eyes and looking at her. She had stopped her movements to open the and dropped her hands from the top of it with a glare. 

“Over my dead body.” She stated 

“I can arrange that. There are only so many times in a day I can eat waffles.” Kaz teased. He loved waffles, it was just fun to rile her up, she always responded so well to it. 

“Brekker, I will kill you.” She threatened, Kaz could hear Inej snicker at his side and he felt an ease to his mood at the usual banter from her. It was routine, it was normal and Kaz needed the normal. 

“I’m with Nina here. Waffles are legendary.” Jordie said, a sly grin on his face. Kaz was momentarily stilled with shock. Nina jumped and turned to Jordie, bending down to smack a kiss on his forehead, a grin wide on her face. 

“Finally, a man with sense. You, Jordie, are welcome here anytime.” Nina declared, not looking at the afronted look that Wylan had given her. She carried on opening the bag of waffles and Kaz glared at his brother. 

“My own brother, joining my enemy’s side. This means war, Jordie.” Kaz stated as he accepted a plate from Wylan, never breaking eye contact. Jordie just raised his eyebrow and lent forward. 

“The last time you tried, Kazzie, you ended up getting tackled into the snow.” Jordie challenged and Kaz’s mouth dropped open. The bastard. Jesper let out a loud chortle of barely contained laughter, falling onto Wylan to help him stay steady. 

“I will win this time, Jordan, just watch out when you sleep.” Kaz warned, the smirk on his face betrayed any real threat in his words. Wylan had joined Jesper in laughing, both of them leaning on the table. 

“You could never sneak up on me, I could hear you walking down the steps. You sounded like an elephant.” Nina had joined in the laughter, Kaz felt a real smile put at his lips by the sound of the laughter floating around the table. 

“I’ll get Inej to do it.” Kaz offered, Inej stopped her chuckling and swatted his arm. Kaz let out an offended sound and she smiled at him, giving him a mock glare filled with too much laughter to actually be intimidating. 

“You do it yourself, shevrati.” 

“I have been left, by my brother and my girl, for the other side. How dare you?” Kaz scoffed. Jordie’s eyes widened at the slip of his tongue but Kaz just raised an eyebrow, telling him to say something about it. 

“Always with the drama.” Jordie whispered, shaking his head with a big grin stretched across his face. Kaz rolled his eyes and bent over the table to get the waffles that were lying in the middle of the table. 

“He was like this before?” Jesper asked, calming his laughter down to ask the question. Kaz dropped the waffle on his plate and looked up at Jordie who was grinning back at him. 

“I was not.” 

“You were more dramatic than the damn roosters that woke us up in the morning.” Jordie deadpanned. It sent Jesper off into another loud round of laughter and Kaz knew that he could find something to be mad at but he knew that the small smile on his face gave away any chance to be angry. 

“I’ll slit your throat while you sleep.” Kaz muttered under his breath, but Inej heard it. She dropped her fork on her plate and started laughing, brightening Kaz’s smile as he watched her bend over with laughter. 

“Kaz!” She laughed. Kaz knew that he was smiling at her like an idiot, but she glowed when she laughed like that. A laughter that had no restraints. The laugh. 

“What?” Kaz asked innocently. She just rolled her eyes and gave him a dazzling smile, a smile that he knew if he was standing up his legs would’ve folded beneath him. 

“Just eat your damned waffles.”

Chapter Text

Dinner carried on far into the night, everyone only retiring to bed after the clock struck midnight. All the waffles were finished long before then but they all stayed talking and shouting over each other for hours. 

Even Kaz didn’t slip away into the shadows like he always had previously, he stayed active in the conversation, arguing with his brother and bantering with the rest of the table. Inej, and the rest, had all seen a change in Kaz since Jordie had arrived: the ever present up-lifted corner of his lips and the mischievous glint in his eyes as he hashed out embarrassing stories that he knew of all of them. 

How he knew those stories she had no idea. She found that she didn't want to uncover that secret quite yet. 

He had held her hand in his the whole time, he had gripped onto it under the table away from the eyes of pesky and nosy friends sitting at the table. At some point he had slipped the gloves off of his hands and placed them on the table, where the rest of the table tried to keep their eyes off them but had failed completely. He just ignored their looks. 

They learnt more about Kaz that night than they had learnt in the years that they had known him and she knew that no one wanted to push his boundaries and cause him to shut himself away again. Kaz was learning to trust them with parts of himself and Inej was proud of him, he was trying to take his armor away from himself and not just for her. But for himself. 

He was stripping himself of some of his armor for everyone to see and Inej knew that having his brother back at his side made it seem less daunting. 

Wylan was the first to disappear up the steps, claiming to be tired but Inej knew that it had something to do with what Jesper had whispered into his ear a few minutes before he left. Jesper left second, giving them a wink before heading up not giving them any detours of what they thought was going to happen. Nina left after that and then Kaz and Jordie, Leaving Inej on her own after hours of being surrounded by noise. 

Inej knew that Kaz would be saying good night to his brother, they both were finding it difficult to separate from each other. She couldn’t blame them, she found it hard to separate from her parents when she first reunited with them three years ago. She couldn't imagine the pain that the brothers had felt, and she would do nothing to make it harder for both of them. 

She stayed at the kitchen table for a few minutes after the brother disappeared upstairs. She felt content, she hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. Kaz, the little shit, could be dangerously funny if he wanted to be. Even if it was at their expense. 

She stood up from the table and noticed the black gloves that sat on the wooden table and smiled. It was Kaz’s way of letting her know that he wanted her near, and wanted to see her alone. So she picked them up, cradling them in her hands, and moved out of the kitchen, turning out the lamps as she walked past. 

She walked up the stairs and into the room that had the doors that opened onto the balcony. She saw a figure standing against the railing of the balcony, a hand laid out on the rail and a cane in the other one. He knew that she would come there first just like she had a feeling that he would be there, waiting for her. 

She quietly stepped up beside him in the cool midnight air, feeling the gentle breeze through her tunic. Kaz made no sound as she approached but she knew that he knew that she was there. She would wait for him to speak. 

Inej found herself staring into the starlit sky above them, remembering all the times she spent staring into the Ravkan sky with her dad. She carried on holding onto the leather gloves in her hands, running her thumb across the material. 

She kept her eyes on the sky as she heard Kaz move around next to her, he turned around to face her and gently placed his hands on top of the gloves in her hands. She dropped her eyes to the gloves and watched his hands gently tug the leather from her hands and hold them in his. 

Part of her was expecting him to put them back on, to put his walls up again, but he didn’t. He instead slipped them into his blazer pocket and returned his hand to the position in front of hers. Palm up. 

She took the hint and gently slipped her hand into his. He enclosed her hand in his and slowly brought it up to his face, and Inej finally looked back up at him. His brown eyes sparkling in the moonlight and his hair falling over his forehead. He brought her hand up and bent his head down, gently pressing his lips to her skin, the gentle graze was gone faster than it was there. 

She felt the shudder that ran through his body but he didn’t move, he held her hand to his face, holding her hand close enough so she could feel the heat from each of his breaths on her skin. 

She kept her eyes staring into his, and took another step closer. She placed her other hand on the railing of the balcony, palm up if he wanted to place his other one in it. He did. Inej gently turned her lifted hand to face palm up, hovering above his cheek. He nodded and she moved it to cup his cheek in her hand, he leaned into the touch ever so slightly. 

He moved his hand down from the hand she held on his cheek and slipped it down to her wrist, holding his fingers to her pulse point. She gently started tracing his cheekbones with her thumb, knowing that the movement will keep him from slipping into his demons. 

He fluttered his eyes closed and Inej kept her thumb tracing the sharpness of his cheek. She fought the urge to say something, she didn’t want to end the moment of vulnerability that Kaz was showing her, that Kaz was letting her see of him. So they stood in the silence of the night, holding each other close enough for them, with Kaz's eyes closed and Inej keeping watch for them. 

“‘Nej.” He whispered and Inej stilled her hand on his cheek. He slid her hand off his face and cradled it in his much bigger ones, his hands encircled hers and Inej squeezed his fingers. 

His eyes fluttered open and Inej saw the familiar brown orbs filled with contentment, or dare she say: happiness. She tilted her head and stepped closer, close enough that she could hear each breath that passed through his mouth. 

“I’m proud of you, Kaz.” She whispered, and he raised an eyebrow. She kept her gaze into his eyes and raised her hand to smooth down the lines on his forehead. His now empty hand hovered on her hip, waiting for her permission for it to rest on it, his eyes tilted in a silent question. 

She nodded and his hand gently slipped onto her hip, his thumb drawing circles on the tunic she was wearing. She kept her eyes locked with his as she carried on moving her hand to brush the strands of hair from his face, letting the brown locks slide through her fingers. 

“Kaz, you dropped some of your armor. Even if it's just for the night, I’m still proud of you and I know that Jordie is too.” Inej whispered, her hand coming to still as she focused on his eyes, which were filing through a million emotions. 

“I missed him.” Kaz mumbled, his eyes clouding over with unshed tears. The raw emotion in his voice stilled her for a moment before she made a split second decision and brought her hands to rest on top of his shoulders, and waited for a second, letting him pull away if he wanted to. 

“Kaz...” He blinked and she pulled his shoulders down towards her, wrapping her arms loosely around them and pressing her face into his chest. He stiffened and she prepared to pull herself away, but stopped when she felt his arms wrap loosely around her waist. 

“I know you did.” She whispered as he bent his head down to bury it in her hair. He was tense but once Inej stepped onto her toes and pressed her head into his neck, her loose hair forming a shield between them, did he start to relax. 

He moved his head to bury it into the junction between her neck and shoulders, his skin being protected by her hair. She felt another shudder run through him, but it wasn’t one of panic. He pulled her closer to him, holding her tight and she felt a drop of water run onto her tunic. A tear that fell between her hair. 

Another shudder ran through him and Inej moved her hand up to run her fingers through the shorter hairs on the back of his head, her thumb moving over them in a circular movement. She would let him have this moment, to let him shed a tear into her hair in the dead of night with no one to know but them. 

She closed her eyes and focused on the scent of him, the smell of suits, blood and cheap soap were keeping her from slipping away from him. His scent grounded her just as much as her touch grounded him in that moment, to keep her from slipping into the clouds and him from drowning in the harbor. 

This hug wasn’t like the ones that they had shared before, those were filled with trust yet filled with so much reservation from both of them. This hug was Kaz letting the rest of his armor shatter to the ground, this hug was Kaz letting her carry some of the weight and burden that he had been carrying for all those years. 

One final shudder rang through him before he unwrapped his arms from around her waist, letting them fall to his sides. She dropped her hands from his shoulders and sank back down onto her feet, her hands sliding down his clothed arms before coming to stop on his hands. 

He kept his head facing their hands and Inej fought the urge to ask him to look up at her. He curled his fingers around hers, before she turned her hand and slid her fingers between his. 

“Stay.” 

Inej stilled her fingers and looked sharply up at him, he was looking at her with only trust in his eyes. Two tear tracks ran down his cheeks and his hair was curling over his forehead. 

“Stay tonight, please.” He whispered the last part almost so soft that she didn’t hear him. 

“Okay, Kaz. I’ll stay.” 

Kaz pulled her from their spot on the balcony, and they walked through the doors and into the quiet house. They walked hand in hand and she stopped them outside her bedroom, Inej pushed the door open and pulled him inside. 

They slept side by side that night. Inej on top of the covers closest to the open window and Kaz under the cover, still dressed in his clothes from the day, on the side closest to the door. Kaz lay flat on his back and Inej curled on her side. each of them holding a weapon in their free hands. 

Their other hands lay linked in the middle of the bed, under the covers so no one knew except for them. 

Chapter Text

Kaz opened his eyes, feeling morning light lighten up the room, he was still lying on his back with his hand still intertwined with Inej’s under the covers. He turned onto his side, his hand letting go of the knife under the pillow, and lay it under his head. A sleepy smile crossed his face before letting out a quiet yawn, he still wasn't completely awake. 

He watched her breathe in and out, a loose curl falling over her face and he ached to reach over to place it behind her ear. He blinked a few more times and loosened the grip on her hand before flopping back onto his back and running a hand over his face. He sighed before pushing himself into a seating position and swinging his legs over the side, and running a hand through his sleep messed hair. 

“Where are you going?” Inej’s sleepy voice asked, Kaz smiled and turned back to face her. She had pushed herself to rest her head on her arm, her lazy eyes pouring into his, leaving a new warmth in his stomach. Her hair fell around her like a halo and the sleepy grin on her face made his smile widen a little bit. 

“Slat. I need to see about Pekka and where he ran to.” He responded, and Inej nodded, her eyes still on the verge of sleep. 

Kaz reluctantly pushed himself off the bed and finished getting ready for the day, he had to get back to the Slat to see the Dregs, Anika had sent a messenger to tell him that no one had died in the fight, and he had to change into a new suit. He also needed to figure out how to get Rollins and to tear him down once and for all, he was done with people coming back to haunt him.  

He grabbed his cane and gave one last look to the woman lying on the bed before leaving the peaceful room; Inej had lay back down after he got up but she didn’t go back to sleep, her eyes followed him as he finished dressing for the day. He shut her door behind him and walked down the hallway, it was still early enough for Jesper, Wylan and Nina to be awake. Jordie he wasn’t too sure about, his brother had always been an early riser. 

He walked down into the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cupboard above the stove. He filled it with coffee and leant against the counter holding the warm mug in his hands. 

Part of him wasn’t ready to leave the house yet, he didn’t want to run the risk that all of this was a dream, that if he walked out the doors Jordie wouldn’t be there when he came back. He did not know if he could lose his brother again. 

The other part of him was aching to get out of the house, to find Rollins and tear him down. For forever. Dirtyhands wanted to punish Pekka Rollins for taking Kaz Rietveld’s brother away from him twice. He wouldn’t allow Rollins to take Jordie from him again. 

“I see you still don’t know how to sleep in.” Jordie’s voice startled him out of his murderous thoughts. Kaz glared at his older brother, who decided to send another playful glare over at him. 

“Time hasn’t changed that much it seems.” Kaz mussed, he drank the last of his coffee before placing the empty mug on the counter beside him. Jordie folded his arms over his chest as Kaz moved to walk out of the kitchen, cane in hand. 

“Where are you going?” Jordie blocked the exit and Kaz rolled his eyes, this was something that Kaz had forgotten about and that he had hated so much. Kaz looked up at his slightly taller brother and glared but Jordie was immune to the Death Glare, as Jesper had coined it. 

“The Slat.” Kaz stated. He watched Jordie’s eyes filter through a million emotions before he dropped his shoulders and he moved out of Kaz’s way. Kaz nodded and carried on walking to the foyer of the house, his cane clacking on the tiled floors of the echoing house. 

“You are coming back later right?” Jordie called down the empty house, his hopeful voice bouncing off the walls. Kaz grabbed his black coat from the coat rack and swung it on, pulling his arms through it. 

Kaz placed his hat on his head and turned around, Jordie’s head was still poked around the corner and his eyes were losing the hopeful look that his voice had held when he called down the hall. 

He knew he couldn’t promise his brother that, there were no promises of returning in the Barrel, only promises to try. So that was what Kaz would do, he would promise to try to return. 

“I’ll do my best.” He vowed gruffly. He pulled the door open and walked out of it and into the street. Never once looking back at the mansion that held his family in it, family that he would fight for no matter the cost. Blood or not, they were all family to him. 

Kaz walked down the quiet street, the sun had barely risen above the buildings and there was a cool wind that made him pull his coat around him a little tighter. Something was making him feel uneasy about walking back to the Slat, but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. 

He just carried on, trying to ignore the alarm bells that were ringing in his head telling him that something was going to go wrong. Jesper and Inej used to joke that he had a sixth sense for sensing danger and he always shrugged it off, but now he was starting to believe them more than he had before. 

He turned down the road and started to pick up his pace, the faster he got to the Slat the faster the feeling of unsettledness will disappear. Hopefully. Keeping an impassive face, he turned his head around to check his surroundings and saw three bulkier men following behind him. 

He recognized the one in the middle, he was Rollins’ third in command.

But Kaz was not one to run from a fight and so, to ease the unsettled feeling and to send a message to Rollins, he turned into an alleyway and prepared himself for a fight. He kept himself hidden in the shadows, he knew that the Lions had seen him turn down into the alleyway. He just had to wait. 

He heard the three men come around the corner and stopped right in front of where Kaz was crouched behind a waste bin. Kaz smirked and reached out his cane and hooked it around the closest man’s ankle, he pulled it as fast as he could, causing the man to lose balance. 

The man yelped and fell to the ground and Kaz pushed himself up into a standing position. The other two men each held a knife in their hands and Kaz gave a swift kick to the man lying on the floor, who let out a pained groan and curled around on his stomach. 

“Rollins sends his regards.” The third man sneered before running at Kaz. Kaz held his cane out in front of him and swung it at the man, hitting him in the arm and sending the knife crashing onto the floor. The man grabbed his arm and Kaz knew that he had hit a nerve, hard. 

“Tell him I will send some back.” Kaz growled. He pushed the man in front of him, feeling him trip over the body curled on the floor, and swooping down to pick up the fallen knife. The man tumbled to the floor, hitting his head on the pavement and stopping his movements. 

The last man standing ran at him, bouncing Kaz off his feet and into the wall. He hit the wall, taking the air from his lungs and bringing tears to his eyes, but he threw his hands up in front of him. The man had rushed forward and held the knife out in front of him but Kaz was faster, Kaz's knife landed home in the man’s chest, and he faltered, slipping to the ground. 

Kaz threw the man off him and held onto the knife, he stood back up and gripped his cane tight in his other hand. He looked around and was satisfied that all three men were on the ground, he walked over the dying man to the one curled on his side. 

He knew exactly where he had hit with his cane, and he knew that the man wouldn’t be able to do much for a time. He bent down and held the knife to the groaning man’s neck, his cane pressing into the man’s stomach and the man yelped louder. 

“Tell Rollins that I will not go down easily.” Kaz growled before swinging his cane down onto the man’s knees, hearing the crack of the bones breaking. Kaz straightened himself up and turned to look for the third man, but he had vanished. Just as Kaz was about to turn around, he felt a knife press into his back, through his coat. 

“Tell him yourself.” Kaz heard from behind him. A cloth was forced over his mouth and Kaz sucked in a breath, breathing in something sweet.

He had been drugged. 

Kaz fell limp and his vision went dark, falling unconscious in the middle of an alleyway with a Dime Lion holding him. 

Chapter Text

 Inej stayed in her bed for some of the morning, Kaz had left long before she wanted to get up, she was tired from the last days of non-stop work and her advetnrues at sea before that. And while she wanted Kaz to stay in the room with her, her gut told her that he would not be able to truly rest until he had taken Rollins down, for good this time. 

Now that she knew the story between Kaz, Rollins and Jordie, she couldn’t help but want to destroy the man, wanted to see Kaz get his vengeance. She held no remorse for him, and she wanted to hand him the same fate that she and Kaz had given Tante Heleen. Death, but a slow and painful one. 

When she was ready, Inej got out of bed and got ready for the day, her heart feeling significantly lighter after the night before. Kaz had let down his armor and had finally asked something for himself, something that he wanted from her. Something that she was ready to give. 

She was proud of him. 

As much as she knew that Kaz had changed over the years, she knew that he would get lost in his vengeance and destruction that he would forget to take care of himself, which meant he would forget to eat and would drink too much coffee. She knew that he wouldn’t come back if she didn’t remind him, a fact that he had reminded her of a few days before.

She stepped out of her bedroom and walked down the hallway, she could hear Nina’s voice from the kitchen mixing with a few loud responses from Jesper and Jordie, both of who were just as loud as each other. To Inej, Jordie was the opposite of Kaz: kind, loud, expressive but she had always wondered who Kaz would’ve been if he hadn’t lost his brother all those years ago. 

She wouldn’t have wanted Kaz to change, but a part of her wondered if he would’ve been more like Jordie if he hadn’t been traumatized so young, but she knew that if Jordie hadn't been dead all those years Kaz might not have been around to help her find her way out of Ketterdam. 

“Inej!” Jesper’s voice broke her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t realized that she had reached the kitchen yet, but she had been so deep in her thoughts that time had passed faster. She shook her selfish thoughts away before anyone could figure her out, so she shrugged and moved into the room, everyone looking at her. 

“Good morning.” She smiled. Nina, Jesper, Wylan and Jordie were sitting at the table, breakfast spread over the table. Shockingly it was not waffles, Inej knew that Kaz would've said something about it if he was joining them. She shook her head and Inej took her seat opposite Jesper and began to pile food onto her plate. 

“Inej, where’s Kaz?” Jesper asked, his eyebrows raised and a mischievous look in his eyes. Inej felt blood rush to her cheeks and she shook her head, carrying on putting food on her plate, she was about to open her mouth but Jordie beat her to the answer.

“He went to the Slat. Said he was going to try to come back for dinner.” Jordie answered, she watched Nina roll her eyes and Jesper groan and part of Inej wanted to wince at the honesty in Jordie's voice.

“What?” 

“Kazzie-boy has a tendency to get a bit distracted when he is seeking vengeance. So there is a high chance that he will forget what day it is for a while.” Jesper answered. It was a fair conclusion, Kaz had forgotten what day it was a few times too many - Inej was always the one to remind him of it. Jesper and Nina had told her about Kaz when she had been kidnapped by Van Eck all those years ago. 

“So, nothing has changed then.” Jordie rolled his eyes, but his shoulders tensed in a way that Kaz’s did when he was worried. 

“Kaz was always like this?” 

“Oh yes, once he got something in his head he would block everything else out until he had mastered it completely. Then I had to deal with his gloating afterwards, he always had to show me over and over again.” Jordie said. 

Inej carried on eating but she felt herself smile; Kaz sought the approval from his older brother, he wanted his brother to be proud of him. Kaz had indeed not changed too much, although he was more lowkey about it. 

“If it will ease your mind, I’m sure ‘Nej here will drag him over for dinner.” Nina teased, Inej rolled her eyes. She was already going to go over to the Slat, she was going to bully him into eating, she might as well drag him over to the mansion to eat said food.

She looked over and saw the hopeful look in Jordie’s eyes, and Inej had her decision in her mind. She gave him a small smile and nodded, before pushing herself up from the table and moving towards the door, her plate empty and stomach full. 

“Where are you going? It’s breakfast.” Wylan called, Inej turned around and smirked at the rest of the table. All of them were staring at her, Jesper seemingly hurt by her leaving so soon and Jordie tilting his head to the side - something that was clearly a Rietveld family trait. 

“You don’t know how long it takes to drag him away from something as important as this.” Inej said, and realization dawned on them, and she left the room leaving them to continue with breakfast as if she hadn't been there at all.

She quickly made her way up to her room, she wasn't lying to them, it always took time to get Kaz to eat nevermind to tear him away from his work. She placed the rest of her knives around her body and jumped out of the window, she would take the rooftops again. For safety and for familiarity.

The Ketterdam rooftops at midday were warm under her leather shoes, the warm sun was heating her back as she quickly made her way to the Slat. She crept up behind the crows and vowed that she would feed them after she had found Kaz. 

She climbed in through the familiar attic window, it was still locked which meant that Kaz hadn’t been to the attic that day which was weird but she didn't think much of it, the room was almost always quiet unless he was sleeping. So Inej slipped down the stairs and into the office below, where Kaz should’ve been if he wasn’t upstairs but the room was empty, and the papers on the desk lay untouched. 

“Wraith!” She heard Anika call out as she closed the door to the empty office. Inej turned around and saw the woman walking up to her, holding something in her hand. “I was just about to send a runner to call you.” 

“Anika, where’s Kaz?” Inej asked. Anika walked closer and she could see the thing in the woman’s hands; it was Kaz’s cane, covered in blood and dirt. It was Kaz's cane but it wasn't Kaz that was holding it, it took everything from her to not snatch it out of the woman's hands. Instead, Anika held it out to her, her face filled with concern and Inej's stomach filling up with enough anxiety that it was beginning to make her dizzy. 

“I don’t know, a runner found this amongst a dead Dime Lion in an alleyway down the street.” Anika answered. Inej took the cane from Anika’s hand and gently ran her hands over the crow top as she tried to calm her panic, leaning against it to stop herself from falling over. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Anika murmured. Inej shot her head up and saw the uncertainty that now covered the lieutenant’s face, so she whistled to catch the attention of the other lieutenants in the room and spun around before walking into the empty office once again. 

Pim, Rotty and Roeder followed them into the office and Inej hit the door shut using the cane, as she had seen Kaz do any times. She immediately walked behind the desk and looked at the lieutenants in front of her, and she knew that she needed to get word to the Van Eck mansion.

“Send a runner to the Van Eck mansion, we will need their help. I know that there are former Dime Lions in the Dregs, they should know some of the houses where Rollins could take Kaz. And send the rest of the Dregs to find Dime Lions, no one needs to know that Kaz is missing. Send runners all over, they need to count on where the Dime Lions might be gathering, we need to know where.” Inej ordered. 

The four lieutenants nodded and quickly moved out of the office, not speaking to each other, and Inej could hear them ordering the Dregs around. If the Barrel had found out that Kaz had gone missing, all hell could break loose, Inej knew that Kaz’s reputation alone had kept peace amongst the Barrel for quite some time. No one dared to cross Dirtyhands, clearly except Rollins. 

Suddenly feeling trapped in the small office, Inej escaped from the window in the office. She needed to get onto the rooftops to try to find Kaz, she knew that Rollins wouldn’t send another message to them, he wouldn’t make it that easy. He wouldn't underestimate them again. 

She traversed the rooftops, keeping a lookout for the rest of the Crows. She kept her mind occupied, running old details from the years before hunting down the Dime Lions with Kaz. She couldn’t settle her mind, otherwise the panic would settle in and she would be rendered useless at finding Kaz.

She had just made it back to the Slat when she spotted the rest of the Crows, Jordie was with them. She slipped into the office window, as they were walking into it and they immediately saw the cane resting on the desk and watched Jesper clench his hands around his guns, Wylan's face flatten out like Kaz's did when he was angry, Nina narrowed her eyes. Inej looked at Jordie last, who's face held a deep anger and worry on it. 

“Inej?” Nina began but she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Jesper opened the door and Anika stepped in, a panicked look spread over her face, along with confusion. 

“A runner spotted him, he’s down by the harbor.” 

Kaz felt like he was floating, his mind was fuzzy and he could hardly get a single coherent thought clear in his head. The feeling was slowly falling from his body, each second that passed, his mind cleared up. Each second that passed, brought more pain to his body and head. 

He tried to move his arms but they were tied around something solid and round. He tried to move his legs but both of them were tied in front of him, but they weren’t tied down to something. 

Once he felt that he wasn’t going to throw up as soon as he opened his eyes, he clenched his hands and he opened them, hoping that the pain from clenching his hands woudl distract him from the pulsing pain in his head. The afternoon sun blasted into his eyes, and the pounding in Kaz’s head multiplied, so much for the clenched hands. 

“Ahh, I see you’re awake.” Kaz heard Rollins sneer. Kaz squeezed his eyes shut for a second before opening them and staring right at Rollins, who had a gleeful grin on his face. “Have you seen where we are?” 

Kaz tore his eyes from the man’s face and looked around, he was tied to a pole on a boat in the middle of the Ketterdam harbor. He felt the blood drain from his face as he finally realized where he was. 

He was on a Reaper’s Barge in the middle of the Ketterdam Harbor. 

Chapter Text

Immediately Kaz was overwhelmed by memories of the bodies that had once covered the surfaces of the Barge, the pale and rubbery skin of dead bodies that had been dead for far too long before they had been found. 

Kaz could feel the bloated skin on his fingers and surrounding him, bringing him under the surface of the water that seemed to be rising up his legs. He could feel the bile that was threatening to come up from his stomach, and it took everything bit of strength that Kaz could summon to keep it from coming up. 

“Brekker.” Rollins’ voice chanted over and over again in his head. He kept focusing on the voice, the voice slowed the rising water down but the dead eyes that stared back at him felt as if they were never leaving him. As an attempt to clear his head, Kaz steeled his mind and narrowed his open eyes, carrying on focusing on pushing the waters down, just as he had many times with Inej. 

But this time was different. 

It wasn’t Inej he was fighting the waters for, it was for himself. So he could finally see Pekka Rollins again. 

“Rollins.” Kaz growled, forcing the words from his lips. He winced at the shakiness of his gravelly voice, but he opened his eyes that had at some point found their way closed, and saw the older man crouched down in front of him, staring at him with a boastful expression. 

“Back from your little panic moment are we? Ready to face the real world?” Rollins gloated and Kaz fumed. He could still feel the water, though it had receded back down to his ankles, as the man tilted his head with a shit eating grin on his face. Kaz had had enough of his bullshit. 

“I hardly think that that was a panic attack.” Kaz retorted, just as the Barge rocked to the side by another wave. Kaz’s stomach lurched and he forced himself to keep his face from grimacing, his head was still swimming and it was starting to slow down before the wave that knocked it. 

“Honestly, and I am not an honest man, you looked like you were about to pass out at one look at those waves.” Kaz rolled his eyes and Rollins pulled out a knife from his boot, holding it above Kaz’s ankles, where they were tied, holding the knife still almost as if he was asking for permission to cut Kaz's ankles free.  

“Nausea is a side effect of being drugged, makes you feel as if you’re about to go unconscious. Its not that hard to understand.” Kaz mumbled out, Rollins narrowed his eyes and slowly dropped his hand to the ropes around Kaz’s legs, clearly not getting the answer that he wanted from Kaz.  

Rollins settled his free hand on Kaz’s leg, and seemed to enjoy it when Kaz tensed at the touch, and moved the other one so that the sharp knife blade was resting on the ropes. Another wave hitting against the boat had startled Rollins into cutting through the ropes, working quietly in the moon setting sun. With each cut, Kaz could feel the blood flow back into his legs and he could finally curl his toes in his shoes.  

Kaz watched the ropes pull into two, and he shifted his good leg into a more comfortable position. Rollins looked back at him and smirked, and Kaz fought the urge to roll his eyes but instead tensed his muscles in his good leg, steading himself for the movement that he was about to make. 

In one swift and well calculated movement, Kaz lifted the good leg and collided his leather shoe with Rollins’ face. He felt the shoes connect with the older man's face, and Rollins stumbled backwards and onto his back, laying on the wooden deck of the Barge. Kaz felt a twisted grin appear on his face as Rollins cradled his cheek in his hand and let out a pained groan. 

Kaz kept the grin on his face as he watched Rollins slowly sit back up, holding his hand to his face, bloody slowly dotting around his fingers. Rollins pulled his hand away from his face and Kaz saw a red splotch on the man’s cheek. His grin widened, he had broken enough skin that he knew would probably scar. 

“Wrong leg.” Kaz deadpanned and Rollins slammed the tip on the knife into the wooden deck of the Barge. The knife landed right next to Kaz’s clothed shin, nearly missing the material of his pants. 

“You know, it's unfair for you to have a knife and I’m still tied to a pole.” Kaz grumbled, he knew that spending time with Jesper would rub off on him - Rollins turned purple in the face and shoved himself up. It was the exact reaction that he wanted. 

“Considering you just kicked me in the face, I hardly think it's a disadvantage. It’s merely a precaution.” Rollins responded, his hand back to cradling his cheek which was dripping blood down his pale cheek. Kaz raised his eyebrows and winced at the cut that was on his forehead from the fight earlier that day, he hadn't been able to know if that was part of the drug-induced headache or it was an actual cut. 

“Like the drugs were? Most Barrel rats would just knock people out.” 

“The drugs were used so you wouldn’t kill all my men, you’ve killed enough already.” Rollins said, “besides, this had to be a fair fight.” 

Kaz could hardly believe his ears, but this was something that made some sort of sense. Had the men tried to knock him out, had that been the plan, he would’ve probably killed them all. He had before, just ask his own gang or those that remembered that day. 

“It’s hardly a fair fight if one of the participants is drugged, even I know that.” Kaz rolled his eyes. Rollins stood up straighter and started pacing up and down the rocking Barge, and Kaz tried to work the ropes around his hands but they weren’t slipping. He just hoped that he could distract, piss off, Rollins for long enough so he could finally get the ropes to get wet enough from the spray of the water. 

“Why the change of scenery, not that I am ungrateful for the fresh air, its really clearing up the druggedness.” Kaz asked, he carried on with his efforts of trying to slip from the bindings and looked up at Rollins at the same time. Rollins, who had stopped pacing and looked back at Kaz, a cruel smile folding over his face. 

“I thought it would be a fitting end to the Bastard of the Barrel.” Rollins gloated, his smile bug and arms spread out wide as if he was addressing a group of people. But Kaz was confused. 

“How would dying in the middle of the ugliest canals in the world be a fitting end?” 

“Well, rumors are that you crawled out of the canals at birth. What a fitting end to die in the same place that you were born in.” Rollins stated, his arms dropping to his sides, smacking against the clothing. Rollins spoke in a way that made Kaz feel like he was the idiot in the situation, but Rollins was not making much sense to him at that moment. 

“But you know I wasn’t.” Kaz knew that Rollins knew that he grew up in Lij, he had told him and Jordie had heard him threaten to send his remains back there. “You know that I grew up in Lij.” 

“Ah yes, the Bastard of the Barrel grew up as a farm boy with his brother. Yes, I did know that.” Rollins was being extremely evasive with his answers and it was beginning to worry Kaz. Rollins had a mischievous glint in his eyes that was spreading into a smile on his face, something that Kaz felt was a mirror to his own. 

“Then why the Reaper’s Barge specifically?” 

“Well you see, you aren’t the only one in the Barrel that wears those gloves. I encountered a man days ago who was also wearing gloves. And then another one yesterday and he happened to be willing to talk with me.” 

Kaz was frozen in place, his hands halting behind him although he was nearly free from his restraints, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He watched Rollins twist his hands in each other with glee, and Kaz had a feeling that he was going to dread the ending of the story. 

“He told me the story behind the gloves, why he wears them. He said that he was thrown on the Reaper’s Barge during the Queen’s Lady Plague; the body collectors had thought he was dead. So they threw him in amongst the dead bodies. He also said that he couldn't stand the touch of a human, something about it being too much like the dead bodies he was surrounded by.” 

Kaz’s heart stopped, and his brain haltered thoughts and movements. He sat, frozen in time, just watching Rollins as he walked around the darkened Barge, which was starting to feel too familiar to Kaz. Kaz wanted him to stop talking, but Rollins carried on. 

“It got me thinking, Kaz Brekker also wears gloves and no one has seen him without at least three layers of clothing. So I started asking around, when did Kaz Brekker suddenly show up in Ketterdam?” 

Kaz was screaming but nothing was coming out of his mouth, all he could do was just sit there on the wooden floor of the Barge watching Rollins parade around. 

“He showed up after the Queen’s Lady Plague. I put two and two together. You must have spent some time on a Barge like this, when you were what? Nine or ten years old?” Rollins stopped walking around and stopped to look at Kaz. 

Kaz, who felt as if he had stopped breathing, who’s armor had come tumbling down in front of the one person that it should’ve never even cracked in front of. Pekka fucking Rollins had figured out his secret and his shame. 

“Kaz Brekker, the Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands. Who couldn’t touch anyone without drowning, metaphorically of course.” 

Rollins’ voice held enough glee that Kaz knew that it could almost occupy the same amount of space that the man’s ego held. But Kaz paid no mind to the man’s gleeful words, or his wandering footsteps around the Barge, he could only see the dead bodies that were lain around him, that were starting to appear around him and Rollins. 

But a cold gust of wind tore the shock from his body and Kaz suddenly felt trapped with his hands tied behind the pole. It was as if the wind had blown away all the dead bodies that had lain before him seconds before, and Kaz felt the water start to recede from around him.

His mind cleared up as soon as the cold wind slowed to a stop and the first coherent thought that crossed his mind was Inej. Inej who had held him the night before, letting him know that he could best the waters, letting him know that he was stronger than his past. 

Then it was Jordie. Jordie, who he had lost once, who had also lost him. He would not put his brother through that pain again. 

With a final burst of energy and strength, he pulled his arms from the bindings that had loosened with the spray from the water. He heard the rope fall into the water and in one swift motion, shoved himself up into a standing position, ignoring the shouting pain from his body. He held himself up and stared at the man in front of him, who had his back facing Kaz. 

“You picked the perfect place to die, you’re already in your grave, Rollins.”

Chapter Text

As soon as the words left his mouth Kaz was hit with a wave of fuzziness everywhere, his back threatened to fold over and all he wanted to curl up around himself. But Kaz steadied himself using the wooden pole behind him, gripping onto it so hard that he was sure that it might have his finger prints dented into it. 

Rollins snarled and took a step closer, never breaking his eye contact that he held with Kaz, his steel eyes pouring into Kaz's but he stood unfazed. Kaz let go of his hold on the pole and braced his weight on his good leg, he didn’t want to test the limits of his injured one just yet, but he needed to show that he was not weaker for it. 

“Brekker.” 

“You can’t expect a lockpicker to not escape from poorly tied ropes.” Kaz drawled, he gently set some of his weight on his leg and it immediately sent pain shooting up, making Kaz want to cry out and scream. 

But Kaz kept his face still, he had always known that his leg would always be one of his tells, and Rollins was watching for anything that he could use against him. Every fighter was taught to look for tells in their opponent, everyone had a tell, Kaz's just happened to be obvious. He just needed to make sure that his leg looked less painful than it was in that moment.  

Rollins however, to Kaz’s relief and delight, hadn’t shifted his eyes from Kaz’s, so he either didn’t see the barely concealed wince of pain or if he did then he had a better poker face than Kaz gave him credit for. He really didn't want to admit the latter, not that he would admit it out loud. 

“Ready, Rollins? Someone will die here in their self-dug grave, but it depends on who has more to fight left in them.” Kaz sneered, he planted his foot with his heel backing against a lifted wooden plank. "Who had more to fight for." 

“What, or who, would want you to fight for them? The Bastard of the Barrel fighting for them, who would want you back?” Rollins seemed to get his composure back and was starting to clench his fists, which hung by his sides. He was getting ready for a fight, so Kaz started to tense himself. He would not be caught off guard. 

“I know what I’m fighting for.” 

Jordie. Inej. Jesper. Wylan. Nina. Matthias  

Kaz Rietveld who lost his brother to the man in front of him. 

“You don’t sound like you know what you are fighting for. Why don’t you tell me who, so I can tell them when you enter your grave. I can tell them that you floated away, alone. Entering Hell all by yourself.” They were at a standstill. Neither moving closer to each other, hoping the other would move first. 

Kaz knew that he had the disadvantage, he always did, but he mostly came out on top. It was who he was. He just had to wait for the right moment to strike, with the right plan in his mind. He needed to distract Rollins enough, he needed the older man off guard. 

“I’m fighting for my family.”

“The Bastard of the Barrel doesn’t have a family. Just a gang that he stole out from under Paskell’s nose. And the group of individuals who left you alone, some running as far away from Ketterdam as they could. The Wraith. The Sharpshooter. The Grisha. The Explosive Expert. The Fjerdan.” Rollins spat. 

“They seemed to have left you.” Rollins carried on, and Kaz could only grin. They came back, they always did but Rollins didn’t know that or he was dumb enough to forget that he was scared of Inej just less than 48 bells ago. 

“How’s your son, Rollins? Living in the countryside with your girl? Playing on the lawn? Or does he want to join the circus to get away from his brute father? That's what I would do. If he was smart enough, he would to.” Kaz had kept loose connections with the Rollins boy, keeping an eye on him.  

Rollins glowered and Kaz knew that he had hit a button, a nice shiny red one. The older man snarled and took another step forward and Kaz swiped down to grab the knife from the wooden boards. Rollins, noticing the movement, ran the small distance between them with his arms out to the side, going to surround Kaz in them. 

But Kaz took a step forward, ignoring the protest from his leg, and bent backwards as the arm swiped over his face, barely missing him. He shoved the knife up as he moved and it scraped underneath Rollins’ arm, slicing through the clothing and the underside of the man’s bicep. 

Pekka Rollins howled and Kaz smirked while he straightened himself up and turned around. Kaz stood facing the man, whose left arm was shoved under the left’s bicep, trying to stop the blood from flowing. 

Kaz steadied the handle of the knife in his hand just as Rollins ran at him again, his shoulder connected with Kaz’s collarbone, knocking Kaz to the side and the breath out of his lungs. Kaz stumbled to the opposite side that Rollins had hit, and his leg almost gave out from under him. 

His momentum kept him from falling at dead stop, but it kept him hurling into the barrier of the Barge. Kaz, who saw the barrier coming, turned to his side and the barrier hit his side, and it felt as if his skin was on fire. Kaz gulped air into his lungs, and ignoring the screaming pain in his side Kaz turned back around to face Rollins. 

He clenched his hand around the handle and pushed himself off of the barrier, but his leg faltered as Rollins met him in the middle of the Barge. Rollins' much bigger body collided with Kaz’s and knocked the knife out of his hands while sending him back into the barrier. 

Kaz’s back slammed against the barrier and his foot slipping through the gap between the barrier and the floor saved him from toppling over the barrier and into the dark sea behind him. Kaz's lungs pulled air in and he coughed it out, both of his hands holding onto the barrier behind him. 

“This is hardly fair, Rollins.” Kaz spat out, wiping his sweat soaked hair off of his forehead. He dragged his foot out of the gap and back onto the floor of the Barge, and steadied himself again. 

Every single part of his body screamed at him to stop moving, to surrender, but he knew that if he wanted to get off the Barge alive, he had to get to the knife which had slid to the other end of the wooden floor, the blade hanging off the edge. He needed the knife if he was going to get the vengeance for Jordie, and the vengeance he needed for himself.  

“Life is unfair.” Rollins spat back. The man was standing in the middle of the Barge, purposefully blocking his route to the knife. Kaz rolled his eyes and tightened the grip his hands had the wooden barrier behind him, bracing himself to move. 

“Don’t I know it.” Kaz whispered before launching himself off the barrier and diving under Rollins' body. He landed on the wooden floor hard, but his momentum kept him going and his hand fell around the wooden handle of the knife. 

His fingers curled around it just as rough hands grabbed his shirt and flipped him onto his back, he winced at the movement and tightened his mouth to stop teh scream that threatened to tear from his throat. Kaz looked up and Rollins was standing over him, his legs above his waist, one of them standing on Kaz’s wrist, and his face staring down at him, a grin creeping over his face. 

“It is time that you die, Brekker. You have lived far too long as King of the Barrel.” Rollins threatened, he reached down and grabbed Kaz’s shirt in his hand. Rollins brought his free fist down and it connected hard with Kaz’s face. Stars appeared in Kaz's vision and the world tilted for a second before steadying itself a second later and Kaz spat out the blood that had pooled in his mouth and stared back at Rollins again. 

“Why? So you can take it back?” Kaz forced out when Rollins’ hand retracted back to the man’s face. Kaz’s face pulsed with pain and his one eye struggled to accept the light from the moon that had highlighted Rollins' big head. 

“It’s my rightful place!” Rollins bellowed into the night, where only the waves lay to listen. 

“All Barrel Bosses have an expiry date, Rollins. You could’ve left the Barrel, you could've lived for your son.” Kaz accused, the pressure on his wrist and the pain that his body held fell away, replaced by anger and determination. He will fight harder than ever. 

“My son is dead.” Rollins revealed, and Kaz stopped short. He hadn't known about that. “And you will join him tonight.” 

“So you can send my limbs back to Lij? Send them to my crew in pieces? String my dead body up in the middle of the Barrel to send a message?” 

There was a moment of silence, only the waves moving littered the air. 

“Send them. No one will mourn. Who would mourn the Bastard of the Barrel?” Kaz growled. 

“I’ll find your son and I will tell him who his father really is. How he was too scared to walk out of his own mansion in his own skin. How he was too scared of a Suli woman and the Corpsewitch to stay in a fight.” 

Kaz waited a moment before he carried on. 

“I’ll tell your son how you split two brothers apart. Twice. Tearing them apart for years.” Kaz whispered, “I’ll tell him how long I had dreamt of killing you, each dream lasted longer and longer. Each dream making you suffer for longer and longer.” 

“Tell your brother he deserved it.” Rollins whispered, and Kaz could smell his foul breath as the man’s face neared his. But Kaz kept staring back at the ex-Barrel boss, who kept his grip tight on his shirt and his fist by his face, hovering above Kaz's. 

“My brother deserves to live. As he is currently doing.” Kaz revealed. He knew it was the right move, revealing Jordie’s return, because he watched Rollins’ face contort into confusion. 

“He’s dead.” Kaz shook his head. 

“No he’s not.” Kaz whispered, quietly to the world and his grin falling onto his lips, “And I owe you for that.” 

Rollins growled and pulled Kaz up and into a standing position as he moved to stand up straight. He continued staring into Kaz’s eyes, and Kaz who was standing right in front of him. Head to head. A perfect opportunity. 

“What does that mean?” But Kaz didn’t respond, he gripped the knife in his swollen hand and used the momentary confusion and distraction to sink the blade of the knife deep into Rollins’ stomach. 

The older man gasped and dropped his hand from Kaz’s shirt, letting it fall to the puncture wound on his side. Kaz kept the knife in place but brought his free hand to grab onto Rollins’ shirt, curling it into his hand. 

“I had fantasized for years how this day would go. How I would kill you once and for all.” Kaz whispered, his hand holding Rollins from falling to the ground. He kept his eyes staring into Rollins’ eyes, challenging him to fight back but the man was too frozen with shock to do anything. 

“And how was that? How were you planning to kill me, Brekker?” Rollins gasped out. Kaz smirked and yanked the knife out of the man’s stomach, watching his eyes squeeze shut in pain. 

Kaz waited for Pekka’s eyes to open before his smirk grew and he sunk the knife into the man’s thigh, hitting the artery he knew was sitting there. He pulled the knife back out and Rollins sank to the ground, his knees hitting the floor in front of Kaz’s shoes. 

“Kaz Brekker wanted to do it slowly. But Kaz Rietveld owes you for bringing his brother back to him.” Kaz muttered, he bent down so he was face to face with the dying man and grabbed his shirt, holding his hand near the slowing heart. 

“Kaz Rietveld..?” Rollins breathed out, confused. But Kaz just nodded, and held the knife up to the man’s neck, running the blade on the pale skin of Pekka Rollins, who was bleeding out on the deck of the Reaper’s Barge. 

“You brought my brother back to me, so I will grant you a quicker death than you ever deserved.”

Kaz saw the words sink into Rollins, but he still wasn’t comprehending what Kaz had just said. But Kaz was patient, Pekka Rollins will understand and will know his brother’s name. He will understand the power of a brother’s vengeance. 

“My brother lived as your captive until you underestimated me. Which will be your final mistake.” Kaz carried on and he saw the recognition and realization flow across Rollins face as he paled even further, cowering away from Kaz. 

“Jordan Rietveld…”  

Pekka Rollins had finally said Kaz’s brother’s name. 

Kaz grinned widely, his eyes meeting Rollins for the last time before bending closer to Rollins’ ear, ignoring the heat of the older man. His hand gripped tighter onto the man’s shirt and the knife resting its tip against the older man’s neck, cutting a small hole into his neck. 

Kaz Brekker haltered his movements, and waited until he could clearly hear the shallow breathing of the man he was holding upright.  

“May you meet the devil. I hear he owes me a favour.” Kaz whispered into Rollins ear before sunk the knife into his neck and pushed the man away from him. 

Kaz watched Pekka Rollins fall from the edge of the Reaper’s Barge and hit the water of the Ketterdam canals below. He disappeared under the waves and out of sight. For forever. 

Relief flooded through Kaz and his leg came out from underneath him, his vision blurred and he blindly reached out for something to grab onto as he fell forward but his fingers didn’t land on anything solid and he fell into the air. 

And Kaz Brekker followed Pekka Rollins into the water below. His back hitting the water first, and the water covering his face as he sunk into the depths of the canals with no energy to start kicking. 

Kaz closed his eyes and the water pulled his consciousness away from his body. Leaving him light and his purpose fulfilled. 

Chapter Text

As soon as Anika had given them the information, Inej jumped out of the window and onto the roof, and the rest of the Crows, as Jesper had called them the day before, stormed out of the office and out of the building and into the street full of people.

Jordie knew that they were going down to the harbour, and if the others weren’t going, Jordie would’ve left them behind and gone by himself. He would not leave his baby brother behind to deal with that monster.

Never again.

Wylan had mentioned to him, while they were making their way down to the harbour, that Inej took the rooftops because it was faster for her.

He couldn’t see her, but some part of him knew that she would get there faster than any of them that were on the ground, and he knew that she would protect his brother with all she had in her. He could tell that Kaz and Inej would go to the end of the world to protect each other.

They reached the harbour in record time, they had practically sprinted the entire way. But they didn’t see Pekka Rollins or Kaz anywhere. Dime Lions littered the area with smug smiles on their faces, and Jordie wished that he had Jesper’s gun in his shaking hand, he will be ready to fire at any time. Damn any morals he had.

“Jesper!” Inej’s voice called to them. She was standing on the deck of The Wraith, to Jordie it seemed as if she had gotten the ship ready to sail out into the ocean. She stood on the desk with the sun behind her, Jordie thought that she looked like an extremelly pissed of Saint.

Jordie felt Jesper pull away from his side and he immediately ran up the boarding plank, and the rest followed up the plank and onto the deck. Inej started barking orders out to everyone, they needed to get the ship ready to sail into the wild sea.

Kaz was out on a Barge, alone with Pekka Rollins. It made Jordie angry, angrier than he had ever been. But instead of punching something, like he wanted to do, Inej barked an order to him and he got to work. He couldn't let his anger take away his chance at saving his brother.

In, what Jordie assumed was the fastest time someone had ever taken to ready a ship for sail, they were out of the harbor and into the water. Apparently, Inej had seen which direction that the Barge had gone, and she knew where they were going to end up. There were only three directions that a Barge that big could travel to get far enough from land and no one wanted to know exactly why she knew that they would be going to the most dangerous part of the area.

They travelled in silence, the late afternoon sun lighting up the deck and Jordie hoped that they found Kaz before it got dark, the sea was already dangerous enough even in the day, they didn't need, or want, to slim their chances of finding him. They had no idea if the Barge would have a lamp on it, most of the time the Barges went out during the day, it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to think that they wouldn’t have a lamp on.

The sun had just sunk below the horizon by the time they saw another boat in the waters of Ketterdam’s harbor. They headed directly towards it, and it seemed to be stationary.

The closer they got, the clearer the boat’s outline became. In the last few minutes of light of the day, Jordie saw the familiar flag of the Reaper’s Barge flying above the boat in the distance.

Time seemed to slow down immensely as they drew nearer to the boat, which, thank the Saints, had a small light on the corner of it. They were close enough to see two figures standing on either side of the boat, a distance between them. They were too far to distinctly know who they were, but Jordie knew it was Kaz and Rollins and judging by how Inej was the epitome of anger next to time, she knew as well.

Jordie stood next to Inej in silence as they drew closer, but he kept his eye on the figures on the Barge. As they got closer and closer, the figures became clearer and clearer, with the moonlight and lamp on the Barge was allowing them too see who was who.

The figures had begun fighting, throwing each other around the raft as if they were rag dolls and the only thought that appeared in Jordie’s mind was that Kaz must stay on the Barge.

He could not fall into the water or they might lose him to the waves.

Jordie felt his stomach drop as Rollins stood over Kaz, and his mind kept screaming to Kaz to fight back. It was wrong, it was all wrong to Jordie. Kaz shouldn’t be trapped by the man that had trapped them 11 years ago. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

He heard Inej gasp as Rollins brought his hand down to Kaz’s face, hard. Jordie winced as if he had heard the crack of the knuckles land on his little brother’s face. He kept his eyes on his brother, hoping that Kaz would find the strength to fight back. To win against this monster that had ripped them apart for years.

To Jordie, it felt as if he was living his worst nightmare. Watching his brother get beaten up because of something that Jordie had caused, all those years ago.

But suddenly, his nightmare turned a little brighter, and he watched Rollins sink to the ground. Kaz stood above Rollins and Jordie could jump with glee, triumph and pride filled his chest to the brim, he could hardly see.

They were close enough to let down a small boat, a row boat that would reach the Barge faster. Jordie and Inej would be going on it. There was no argument with anyone about that.

The rest of the Crows joined him and Inej standing in the front of the ship, watching as Kaz bent his head to Rollins’ and Jordie could only assume what his ever-so dramatic brother was saying before Kaz pushed him off the platform.

With sadistic satisfaction, Jordie watched Pekka Rollins fall into the water.

He heard the rest of the Crows cheer into the night but abruptly stopped when they all watched Kaz stumble towards the edge of the Barge. Jordie's heart stopped beating in his chest, he was dead frozen watching the scene in front of him.

“Kaz!” Inej screamed as Jordie’s baby brother tipped over the edge of the Barge and got swallowed up by the waves.

Jordie did not hear or see Inej move, but she must have grabbed his arm in the process and pulled him towards the row boat that was waiting for them to drop into the waters below. His heart had yet to start beating, but he would get to his brother before it started again.

Jordie and Inej jumped into the boat and they dropped it into the water. Jordie knelt up in the front of the boat, Inej had taken the paddles and had started rowing them towards the Barge.

Jordie kept his eyes scanning the waters for any sign of a body. He kept thanking the Saints above for the bright light that the moon was giving them.

His eyes were attracted to the pale body that had appeared above the surface for a second before slipping beneath the waves again, a hand sticking up above the water before getting swallowed by another wave and disappearing below.

He knew it was Kaz. He knew it.

The face appeared again, and it was close enough that Jordie could swim to. That's what he did. Jordie launched himself out of the row boat, ignoring Inej’s shouts, and landed in the cold water, shocking his heart into beating again. He could hear it pumping in his ears as he kicked his legs as hard as he could towards the surface.

“Kaz!” Jordie shouted as he reached the surface again.

Jordie swam his way to the last place he had seen the face and he saw a pale hand appear above the waves. He swam as fast as he could to the hand, hoping to reach it before it slipped away again.

Just as the hand slipped under the surface, Jordie closed his hand around the tips of the fingers. The fingers slipped from his, and Jordie sucked in a deep breath before diving under the waves.

He couldn’t see anything, but he kept swinging his arms around in front of him, hoping to hit something that would resemble a body. And just as Jordie was about to kick to the surface of the water, his hands hit some slippery skin.

Jordie gripped onto the body and pulled it into his chest, holding it close to him as he kicked to the surface.

They breached the surface and Jordie gasped in a deep breath, taking in as much oxygen as he could before he would pass out. He looked down and saw that Kaz, who was cradled in his arms in the water, took in a shallow breath.

He needed to get Kaz to a hard surface and out of the water. Each wave that came past them sent water into each of their mouths, and Kaz was growing weaker and weaker by the second. They needed to get out of the water before they both went unconscious.

“Come on.” Jordie muttered as he turned around in the water. He was closer to the Barge than he was to the row boat. In fact, the Barge was a meter or two away from them, he could almost reach out for it.

Jordie pulled Kaz on top of him and started swimming on his back towards the Barge, holding his hand behind him. Once that hand hit something solid, he pulled himself around the Barge to the steps that he knew were somewhere.

“Aha!” Jordie exhaled once he reached the steps. He pulled himself up onto the rest step and brought Kaz with him, together he moved them up each step.

Jordie pushed them up one last step, and pushed Kaz off of him and onto the wooden deck beside him. Jordie knocked his head back onto the deck and took in a deep breath, trying to catch his breath.

“Jordie..?” He heard his brother whisper into the night. Jordie smiled and pushed himself into a sitting position, watching as his brother pushed himself onto his back.

Kaz’s eyes were glossed over and the smile on his face was one of bone deep relief and exhaustion.

“I did it. I did it.” Kaz whispered, and Jordie nodded. Jordie ached to reach over to comfort his baby brother, to confirm that he had done it, but he knew that Kaz wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“Yes you did, Kazzie. I’m proud of you.”

Kaz’s eyes shone in the moonlight and all Jordie could see was the 9 year old boy with the innocent eyes and the smile that was constantly on his face. That Kaz had returned, even if it was for a second.

“Jordie!” He heard Inej call, she was almost at the Barge. He needed to get Kaz up so he could get onto the row boat, he needed to get off the damned barge. They had spent for too long on it for their lives.

Jordie pushed himself into a standing position, and moved so that he stood in front of his brother. He stuck his hand out, waiting for Kaz to let him help him up but Kaz just stared at his hand like it had committed a crime.

He didn’t want to force Kaz to touch him, but Kaz was too weak to get himself to the row boat alone.

“Kaz, come on.” Jordie groaned and rolled his eyes. Kaz slowly reached out and slipped his hand into Jordie’s, and Jordie pulled him into a standing position. Kaz tipped to the side and Jordie caught him before he could fall down, as Kaz's head dipped forward and his eyes slipped closed. .

Jordie pulled Kaz’s arm over his shoulder to steady him by his side. Kaz’s head dipped to his shoulder and they waited for Inej to row towards them.

“Come on, let's get you to your girl.” Jordie whispered to his brother.

“Inej..?” Kaz breathed out. Jordie grinned and nodded, and he adjusted Kaz’s head so it sat more comfortably on Jordie’s shoulder. His body shivering in the moon light, waiting for their savior to come get them, but Jordie knew that they would be fine.

“Yeah, Inej.”