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Monica's gonna kill them. Rachel might convince her not to, but Joey isn't sure after accidentally knocking Rachel's new vase bought in the thrift store. She claims it reminds her of her grandmother's old, English rose urn.
Half-melted, colorful gummy bears sprinkle the living room's rug. Containers of the miniature-sized Pizza Bites and Yoplait Trix Yogurt, emptied and stacked up on a long coffee table. Glass cups of Coca Cola, going flat in the last few hours, left in the bathroom and over by the front door. In the kitchen, a heaping bowl of dried egg salad has been spilled like crumbles.
They've turned all of the lights out, the purple apartment walls seeming darker than usual.
Joey hunches further under the blankets, his chin jammed up over the flashlight. "And then—" he whispers, gulping and frantically wide-eyed. "In the mirror, he saw it—" Joey bellows out, "IT WAS THE GREY HAIR HE PLUCKED OUT YESTERDAY!"
Phoebe's mouth stretches open.
She yawns, looking deadpan. The top of their blanket-fort made of Monica's freshly ironed sheets dents with Joey's head thrusting up. "Excuse me, what's with the yawn!?" Joey demands, fuming. "I'm tryin' to tell a scary story here!"
"Grey hairs aren't scary."
"YES, THEY ARE!"
"They're not and you're a weenie," Phoebe says matter-of-factly. She cradles Huggsy between her pajamaed knees. If Joey wasn't feeling so indignant, he would find the sight downright adorable. Phoebe has that way about her, Joey thinks.
"You think you can do better, Pheebs?"
"Oh, yeah." Phoebe nods under the blankets, snatching up the flashlight. "Watch and learn, buster."
Joey rolls his eyes mildly. "Right."
"Gimme some of that."
When Phoebe's hand holds out, Joey yowls and clutches the box of Frosted Flakes to himself.
"Okay, so," she says, ignoring Joey's glare, "It was back when I was fourteen and living on the street—I used to play this game where if I could mug someone wearing a certain color, and then mug a bunch of people wearing the same color—"
"Where's the scary part of the scary story?"
"I'm getting there. Don't rush me." Joey mock-yawns and flinches when Phoebe's foot slams to his leg. "But anyway, I knew this guy named Andy," Phoebe tells him, "Andy told me this story about when he was living in the mountains before ending up homeless in New York. He had a cabin with his girlfriend Beatrice and her girlfriend Charlotte and Charlotte's ex-boyfriend Daniel who was now Andy's off and on boyfriend, but the guy Ennis who sold it to him forgot to mention the screaming—"
"Sc—" Joey hesitates, his fingertips clawing into the deep blue cereal-box. "Screaming?"
"Andy would hear this screaming off in the distance when the sun set, and at first they all thought it was cougars—but eventually, they heard a woman screaming out Andy's name." Phoebe smirks eerily. "It kept happening night after night."
"SHIT! Did nobody CALL the police?!"
"Talking to the police is being a snitch, and you know what they say about snitches," Phoebe says nonchalantly, and Joey throws up his hands, blowing air through his loudly flapping lips. "They lose their britches—so, yeah—Beatrice left to get watermelon for their watermelon party, but then it got dark out. She hadn't come back. The screaming started again when the clock struck midnight and Andy heard his name, but this time the woman's screaming sounded a lot like Beatrice."
Joey's teeth chatter. He burps nervously into a fist.
"Andy left everyone else behind and drove further up the mountain. The screaming got closer and closer…" Phoebe creeps in, shaking the flashlight around. Joey restrains the urge to grab for Huggsy, burping more aggressively. "And closer, and closer…"
"Until…"
Her ice-cold fingers suddenly wrap around Joey's naked ankle. He bellows, flailing and jumping up. The entire blanket-fort collapses, including the additional blankets and couch cushions. Joey untangles them, flushing a bright red.
"You should have seen your face!" Phoebe cackles, giggling.
The lights flip on.
Joey and Phoebe scream at the top of their lungs as the front door jiggles open. Monica walks in, and they jump and scream.
"What?!" Monica shouts over them with a fruit platter, confused and annoyed. "It's just watermelon??!"
He jumps again, scream-burping, and ends up jumping in Phoebe's arms. She cradles him in, wide-eyed as him. Joey can smell the egg salad off her, despite Phoebe insisting on being vegetarian, and marvels at how she can hold Joey up. His heart pounds. Phoebe smiles at him, and then grimaces when Joey burps.
"WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY APARTMENT—!??!"
Ross wanders in, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Hey, you left me downstairs—"
Phoebe and Joey scream again, looking right at him, leaving Ross to gaze behind him. He then frowns.
"Oh, oh COME ON!"