Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Nier had been young when he had first found out about the cruelty of their universe. He had been young when he had been forced to learn that the world he lived in didn’t care about him and worse — didn’t care about his sister. 

Nier had been young when he had been forced to grow up quickly. 

But he was not too old to joke around.

“What do you mean there’s gonna grow a watermelon in my tummy??” Yonah asked in a whiny tone, her eyes wide and worried. It took Nier everything he had not to break character as he held his chin in a thoughtful manner, his hand rubbing over his sister’s stomach. She had finally felt well enough to leave her bed and Nier had taken her to the fountain in their village, a watermelon in his hands. It was quite rare that they had enough money to allow themselves such luxuries but Popola and the villagers had been kind to him with their recent job rewards. 

Leaning back on his hands, Nier smiled softly as he watched Yonah jump down from the cold stone in order to run over to Devola, clearly wanting to ask about the horrifying story she had just been told. His eyes closed and just for a moment Nier allowed himself to breathe. The ever shining sun felt nice on his skin and the soft sound of the splashing water was a nice contrast to Devola’s music. Her singing soon stopped and Nier opened an eye to see Yonah gesture wildly, even pointing at him. He couldn’t quite see the musician’s expression but the boy was sure that Devola raised a brow at him. With a smile Nier simply shrugged his shoulders. He was still an older brother, after all. Teasing was part of the job description. 

Nier’s joy, however, was quickly drowned out by a sound that haunted him in his days and nights. Within a moment he was on his feet and the watermelon fell uselessly to the ground as he hurried over to Yonah. She was coughing heavily and though Devola supported her as best as she could, the little girl was still falling to her knees. 

“Yonah!”

Stupid. He had been so damn stupid. They had taken it too quickly. Two days without numbing pain meant nothing and he shouldn’t have taken her outside. Guilt and regret washed over Nier as he knelt beside his sister, his arms wrapped around her shoulders for support. Brows furrowed in worry, the boy could do little but stare as Yonah coughed up some black blood. Without a word he placed an arm underneath the girl’s knees and carefully lifted her up. It was scary how little she weighed. 

“I’m sorry for the mess I caused, Devola.” Nier mumbled as he nodded towards the abandoned watermelon pieces laying on the floor. The redhead merely shook her head and smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes. 

“It’s okay. Go and take her back, I will take care of this. And once you’re done you should visit—”

“Popola. I will… Thanks again, Devola.”  Nier finished for her. He cradled Yonah against his chest all the way back to their little home, ignoring the coughing that was quickly getting worse as well as the dark thoughts clouding his mind. Any ‘what ifs’ were pushed far away and Nier refused to even entertain a single one of them. 

Yonah is going to get better. I’ll find a cure and she will make it. I know she will. 

Repeating the words over and over again like a silent mantra, Nier carried his sister up the stairs. He gently placed the girl onto her bed and his heart broke a little at how pale and fragile she looked. It was scary how quickly things could turn on them if they weren’t careful. 

“-rry.”

Nier snapped back to reality when he heard the weak voice of his sister and he sat down on the bed, careful not to disturb her. He took her hand and squeezed it, feeling just how cold she had gotten. With a gentle smile and loving eyes the brother simply shook his head. 

“Don’t apologize, silly. You did nothing wrong.”

“But I ruined our afternoon...” Yonah whispered as she hid underneath the blanket. Nier knew that his sister often felt like a burden though he was always quick to get rid of such negative thoughts. Pulling the blanket from her head, Nier tapped her forehead. 

“No, you didn’t. I don’t care if we’re outside or at home. Spending time with you makes my day. So no more crying, got it?” 

The girl nodded hesitantly and Nier grinned. “There we go. Now, I want you to rest some while I go and pay Popola a visit. I’ll be back soon enough and then we can play some cards. But until then I want you to nap. Got it?”

Yonah brightening up was enough for Nier to feel some sort of relief. He got up from the bed, squeezed her hand one last time and left their small home with whatever money he had managed to scramble together. If he needed to pay for medicine he wanted to be prepared. 

The library was quiet as his footsteps echoed through the big hall. Nier never got tired of the sight of countless books, wondering what endless knowledge and stories they held. He had never been a big one on reading. Yonah was the bookworm among them and with his quest to find a cure there was little time to lay back and relax. Nonetheless, Nier respected those who had the inner peace to read one book after another. His personal world ended with the village’s gates but there were countless universes stored in tearable pages. So fragile and yet full of life. 

Just like Yonah. 

With his hand on the old wooden railing, Nier walked up a few steps to Popola’s office. He knocked on the door, waited for her voice to grant him entrance and with a deep breath Nier entered the room. 

“Good afternoon, Nier.”

Popola smiled at him, her eyes full of affection though the furrowed brows gave away her worry. Nier felt bad, in a way. The woman probably knew by now that he only ever came to visit her when he was in need of work or assistance. 

“I’m sorry for the trouble, Popola. It’s… It’s Yonah. Her cough has been getting worse and I was wondering if you had anything that would numb her pain.”

The little hope that had fluttered in his heart was quickly stomped out when Popola tilted her head, her mouth open without sound. A cold shiver ran down his spine as he recognized the expression immediately. It was the one adults used when they weren’t sure how to break the news to children. 

“I’m so sorry, Nier, but we’ve been lacking the ingredients lately to make any sufficient medicine.”

It was difficult to hear her words over the rushing in his ears but Nier stepped forward, closing the distance just a bit. 

“What do you need? Is it shaman fish? I-I can go to Seafront and get some or I can use the fishing rod and try—”

“It’s not that, I fear.” Popola said, interrupting him quickly. Nier hated the look in the woman’s eyes. He didn’t want pity and he didn’t want to be treated like a child. He was almost the age of adulthood, damn it!

“What is it then?” he pushed on. 

With a sigh the librarian corrected her position in the chair, her hands now folded on the table. “It’s the herbs we are lacking. We had sent a group into the forest to retrieve some but… But that was four days ago. They still haven’t returned and at this point we doubt they are still alive.”

Nier’s heart stopped. 

The Silent Forest. A dark and sunless place that had suddenly started to grow around their village, cutting them off from any neighboring towns safe for the few stone roads they had built. The thick trees had grown within weeks and for many years now it had been said to be haunted by a gruesome monster. 

Back then Nier hadn’t believed the tales of the villagers. He had brushed the concerns off, had thought the adults had made up a fairytale to scare the children away from entering. 

But then he had heard its roar. Had seen its prey. 

No one had ever seen the creature but they had all seen the petrified statues of their loved ones. Whatever that thing was, it turned people to stone. No animals dared to live in the forest and any screams would suddenly be cut off, signaling that the creature had killed yet another person. 

Nier’s head began to race. The herbs they needed for Yonah’s medicine were located in the depths of the Silent Forest. And if the men sent out to retrieve them had truly been killed… Then he doubted anyone else would be ready to head out anytime soon. 

Don’t, a small voice said in his head. 

His hands began to sweat, the ringing sound growing in intensity. 

You won’t survive, the voice continued.

Nier could feel his heart hammering as Popola’s eyes began to widen. 

It will kill you. 

The weight of his sword rested heavily on his back and heart. 

You are going to die. 

“I’ll go.”

Chapter Text

The first time Nier had heard about the monster of the forest, he had been 11 years old. The forest had just finished growing around their village and the adults had still tried to investigate the form of magic that had caused such rapid growth. The trees had circled their home, and had fully encased them except for the stone roads leading to the other towns. At first the people had been wary. After all, whoever must have possessed such powerful magic to grow a forest within days was not a force they should recon with. 

It hadn’t all been bad. The wood of the trees had turned out to be sturdy and strong, and the quality of their wares had only gone up. New houses had been built and some new fruits had been introduced to the village.

It had almost seemed like the forest had been a gift. 

If it hadn’t been for the first statue. 

Several weeks after the sudden growth of the forest a group of men had entered the deeper parts that had yet been left unexplored. If the trees close to the village had offered new fruits and strong wood, who knew what other treasures the forest was hiding? Volunteers from different families had come together and they had left their homes with a confident grin and empty bags that they had intended to fill. 

That evening, only half of the men returned. And in their hold had been a petrified villager, his expression morphed into an eternal grimace. 

The rumors about the monsters quickly spread. The unknown creature, one who no one had yet laid their eyes on and survived to tell the tale. 

The first time Nier had heard the roar of the monster he had been 12 years old. He had been looking for flowers near the edge of the forest, had wanted to create a small bouquet for Yonah. A squirrel hadn’t been too far away and Nier had been busy coaxing it closer when a monstrous sound had come from the forest. The surrounding birds had flown off in panic and Nier had stared at the trees with wide eyes. He had not seen the creature and yet it had felt like he had lost any control over his body. No limb would listen to his rising panic and if it hadn’t been for Devola pulling him away Nier might have been frozen in place for way longer. 

Since that day he had mostly stayed away from the forest. Whenever Nier had been sent to Seafront he had stuck to the safe roads. Never had he allowed himself to stare too deep into the surrounding woods and never had he dared to trespass into the unknown. 

Well, there was always a first for everything. 

Taking a deep breath, Nier tried to ground himself in the present. He was clinging onto his bag until his knuckles turned white and while his head whispered words of encouragement his speeding heart gave away his true fear. It had been several minutes now that he had tried to gather the courage to step into the forest and yet his feet were still rooted on the stoney path. Closing his eyes, Nier exhaled. 

He was doing this for Yonah. His sister needed him. Needed the medicine. 

Reaching behind himself so he could rest his hand on his blade’s handle, Nier opened his eyes with resolve. He forced his legs to move and faster than expected his whole body was swallowed by the darkness of the forest. 

The woods felt… eerie, to say the least. The forests that he was used to were usually overflowing with life but here he could neither hear birds nor see any other signs of animals. 

“It’s like this place is stuck in time.” Nier mumbled to himself as he walked deeper in. Everywhere he looked there was nothing but trees and the boy quickly realized why Popola had handed him a compass. Anyone would get lost in a place as confusing as this one. No rocks, rivers or unique sightings helped Nier orientate himself and it almost seemed like these woods had been designed to resemble a maze more than anything. He couldn’t help but touch most of the trees that he passed. They felt so… normal. If it hadn’t been for their thick growth and sudden appearance one could have thought they had always been here, overlooking and protecting their village from outsiders. 

Clicking his tongue, Nier pushed further on.

Time in this place was difficult to say. With the countless crowns towering above him it was difficult to see the position of the sun and Nier wondered whether he had been walking for minutes or hours. In the end it didn’t really matter, he guessed. Because he had found what he had been looking for. 

The herbs looked exactly like the drawing in the book that Popola had shown him. Nier couldn’t remember their name, it was something complicated and a mouth full if he remembered correctly, but that didn’t matter right now. The boy fell onto his knees and eagerly pulled out a small dagger, already cutting the plants and placing them in his bag. The faster he was done the faster he could leave this creepy place. 

Focused on his work, Nier didn’t notice the oddly colored crow watching him until it cawed, causing him to drop his weapon in shock. The forest had been quiet except for his footsteps for so long now that actually seeing a wild animal out and about had scared the crap out of him and Nier stared at the grey… white… blackish animal like it had offended him. 

“Hey now, it’s rude to sneak up on somebody.” Nier whispered mostly to himself as he got back up, the dagger loosely in his hand. He smiled up at the animal and even though its presence should calm him there was something about this crow that left him uneasy. If no animal dared to enter this place… Why would a crow live here? 

Nier didn’t have the chance to think any deeper about it when something behind him rustled. With his heart hammering in his chest the boy swirled around and drew his sword, instinct taking over. 

He hadn’t expected to point his weapon at a boy his age.

“You’re a male… Young… Not even 20…” the stranger said and Nier was taken aback by, well, everything. The first thing he noticed was the blindfold tightly wrapped around the boy’s head. How the kid had managed to sneak up on him while wearing that thing was beyond Nier. The next thing he noticed were the odd clothes. This boy was wearing purple pants and a purple jacket with something that resembled a scarf wrapped around him. The style of those clothes was unfamiliar and Nier couldn’t remember ever seeing someone in Seafront or his village wearing anything close. To say he was wary was an understatement but Nier finally focused on the words that had been spoken. 

“You… Did you figure that out from my footsteps? My voice?” he found himself asking. The little tension that had built up within him came to ease when Nier noticed the sudden flustered expression on the boy’s face. The stranger turned slightly away and rubbed his neck as if he had been caught doing something embarrassing. Nier allowed himself to exhale and his sword was lowered.

“It’s not that hard, once you know how.” the boy replied as if trying to give an explanation. He seemed a bit awkward, as if he wasn’t quite sure how to talk to Nier. 

Then again, they had just met in the depths of a haunted forest so maybe that had been a given. 

Nier sheathed his sword and noticed how the stranger began to relax almost immediately. The hand that had been resting on the boy’s neck had moved to the cheek eventually, touching the edge of the blindfold but after a second or two the other allowed his hand to fall limply beside him. 

“My name is Nier.” he said, taking a step forward to offer his hand. His intention, however, was interrupted by the crow suddenly cawing again and Nier stepped back in surprise, his eyes returning to the odd animal. 

“Sebastian, it’s okay.” the soft voice of the stranger said and the crow ruffled its feathers before flying down, neatly landing on the boy’s shoulder. Judging by the lack of reaction Nier figured those two knew each other. 

“Is... Is that your pet?” 

“Sebastian is my friend.” As if to support his claim, the stranger began to pet the crow and the animal leaned into the touch, any hint of hostility gone. 

“My apologies for my companion. He can be a bit protective but he won’t harm you. You have my word. Oh and… my name is Emil.” 

The stranger, no, Emil outstretched his hand and after sending the crow a suspicious look Nier took the invitation to formally meet one another. He was surprised when Emil’s skin turned out to be quite cold and now that he had gotten a better look Nier wondered whether the other was freezing. With the lack of sun under the giant trees it was impossible to find warmth without food or exercise. 

Speaking of giant trees…

Blue eyes suddenly widened and Nier pulled his hand away to place it back onto his sword. He looked around, bewildered at just how stupid he had been. They were in the middle of the Silent Forest, home to a freaking monster for damn sake!

“It’s nice to meet you and all, Emil, but we should get out of here as soon as possible. Did you get lost? I can help you get back to the roads, we shouldn’t be pushing our welcome.”

Nier was quick to check his bag. He should have collected more than enough herbs for a week or two and while he would have preferred to come back with a lot more, for now it would have to be sufficient.

“Oh, uhm… I-I’m fine. I can find my way back but thank you for the offer. No need to trouble you, you seem to be busy, right?” Emil said just a bit too quickly. He was waving with his hands as if he could dissolve Nier’s concern that easily. It was odd, really, but Nier didn’t have time to think about it.

Shaking his head, Nier looked from Emil down to the compass. Yonah was waiting for him… But leaving this defenseless boy in a forest like this didn’t seem right either. 

As if Emil could sense his inner conflict he decided to speak up and make the decision for Nier. 

“I… I guess I can accompany you for a little while? I don’t live too far away from here and Sebastian usually helps me find my way back home but… I mean to say that it’s safer? Maybe?”

The boy was weird, Nier had no doubt about it. But the way Emil began to nervously fiddle around with his wrapped scarf as well as the back and forth rocking just made him endearing. Nier couldn’t help but wonder whether their roles were secretly reversed. It felt like Emil offered for them to travel together less for his own safety and more for Nier’s nerves. He quickly abandoned that absurd thought. After all, it was clear who had the weapon to defend the two of them. 

“Let’s go, Emil.” Nier finally said and the bright smile he received seemed to make up for the lack of sun. 

“Sure, Nier!”

“You must be super courageous if you came all the way here for your sister.” Emil said conversationally as Nier helped him over a bigger branch laying around.

“I wouldn’t call it courageous. This forest does give me the creeps but Yonah needs her medicine. I can’t let a little bit of fear hold me back, I’m a big brother, after all.” Nier deflected. Emil had spent the last couple minutes asking him about all sorts of things and never had the smaller boy missed out on an opportunity to compliment him. It felt weird, in a way. Nier didn’t think of himself as heroic or kind or selfless. If anything, he was quite selfish with his wish to cure Yonah. He helped the villagers because they needed assistance, sure, but in the end he also did it for the money he would receive. If Yonah hadn’t been sick, would he still have been as helpful?

Emil hummed in thoughts, absently petting Sebastian. The crow had never left its position on Emil’s shoulder but it didn’t seem like the boy minded. Nier had been surprised at how well the other carried himself in the forest. While Nier himself would slip or stumble at times thanks to the uneven grounds, Emil carried himself with the confidence of a person who could actually see. It was almost as if the other was familiar with these woods. 

“... I also have a sister. She had been sick for many years but she always insisted on mothering me. Saying how she’s the older sibling when we are actually twins.” Emil huffed, crossing his arms almost in a pouting way. He looked into the direction of Nier and shrugged his shoulders with an embarrassed smile. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you also have to look after yourself, Nier. I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries here but make sure that you get enough rest and food and sleep! I’m sure your sister wants to see you healthy and happy like you do with her! Don’t worry her by pushing yourself too far, and I’m saying that as a little brother.”

Snorting, Nier shook his head in amusement. Emil wasn’t the first to lecture him, really. He had heard these lectures from pretty much everyone already. Popola, Devola, even Yonah herself. It felt just a little bit different from the usual earful he would get. Maybe it was because they seemed to be the same age or because Emil was a younger brother. It could have been because they were practically strangers, too. Regardless of what it was, Nier didn’t find himself minding. 

“So what were you doing in the forest anyway? You seem to come here a lot if your crow knows the way home.” Nier asked in hopes of changing the topics. He didn’t want to ask Emil about his own sister as they weren’t close enough for that. And besides, it wasn’t like he wasn’t actually curious. A forest as infamous as this one seemed like a terrible playground for a blind boy. 

It seemed however as if Nier’s simple question had turned out to be a lot more complicated, judging by the way Emil suddenly tripped. The boy yelped in surprise, his arms outstretched in order to catch himself but Nier was quicker. Without thinking he reached out and grabbed Emil’s arm, pulling the lightweight back onto his feet before he could have gotten hurt. His grip was gentle and Nier didn’t let go for another second or two while Emil clung to him in return. He was caught off guard by the surprising strength he could feel but Nier simply brushed it off as a mixture of fear and adrenaline. 

“Are you alright? Emil?” 

The boy in his hold hesitantly nodded and Nier could see faint color peeking out from underneath the blindfold. He hesitantly let go and took a step back in order to allow Emil some room. 

“I… Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that, I was just caught off guard.” 

Nier easily believed that though why his question had caused the boy to lose balance was still beyond him. However, before he could repeatedly voice his curiosity Emil already pointed past him. Blue eyes followed the finger and Nier was surprised to see sunlight not too far away.

They had made it back to the edge of the forest. 

“How did you—?” 

“I can hear music and dogs barking. It must be around noon if everyone is this active.”

Noon? Was it noon already? Had Nier seriously spent more than three hours in this forest without noticing the time? 

“Shit, I’m late! Everyone will be worried, I have to go!” 

Taking the first few steps, Nier belatedly remembered Emil. He spun on his foot and reached for the boy’s wrist, gently pulling him towards him. When the other resisted, however, Nier didn’t push it. 

Emil smiled apologetically. 

“My home is in another direction so uhm… I-I can’t come with you.”

“Are you sure? You could stay for the day and I could take you back to your place afterwards. It’s the least I could do for the company you offered.”

Something about what Nier had said caused Emil to smile but it seemed… off. Sad, in a way. 

“I… I’ll be fine. I swear. I may not be strong but I can be super sneaky if I want to. Don’t worry about me.” 

Furrowing his brows, Nier reluctantly let go of the other’s wrist. He wouldn’t carry Emil out of the forest all screaming and kicking but abandoning the boy like that didn’t feel right either.

“If you say so… Well, thanks for the talk. It helped me with the nerves. Be careful, okay?”

This time when he turned to leave, it was actually Emil reaching out for him. The smaller boy grabbed his sleeve, the hold incredibly weak. Nier almost wouldn’t have noticed it at all.

“Nier…? Can I ask you to promise me something?”

And Emil sounded so weak, so small that he couldn’t have denied it even if he had wanted to.

“Sure. What is it?”

“Please don’t tell anyone about me.”

Huh?

But Emil pushed on, seemingly sensing his confusion. “I… I live by myself. And it’s obvious I’m not really strong so others might try to take advantage of that. If somebody found out where I lived and decided to come by…”

“I promise.” Nier said immediately. He himself knew how uncaring the world and its people could be and the idea of any bandits choosing Emil as an easy prey was disgusting. “I won’t tell anyone. Will you promise me something in return?”

“W-What is it?” 

Stepping closer, Nier smiled as he decided to ruffle Emil’s light hair. That boy seemed way too uptight and the whine he received in return was more than worth it. Nier chuckled softly and tapped the boy’s forehead. 

“Take care.”

Emil simply stood in front of him for a moment or two, seemingly perplexed but the brilliant smile Nier finally received was more than worth the wait. The smaller boy was practically beaming and though it was odd that his simple request had caused such happiness Nier didn’t mind it. 

“I will! You too, Nier!” Emil replied bubbly and with a nod Nier finally walked the remaining meters until he broke through the clearing. 

The next time he looked back to the forest, Emil was gone and Nier wondered just who this particular person was. Nothing interesting ever happened in their village but maybe… just maybe… Nier had found a mystery that he would like to solve. 

After he had visited Popola and handed over the herbs, of course.

Chapter Text

Brushing some hair out of Yonah’s sleeping face, Nier quietly got up from the bed. He put the book about an old tree back onto the shelf and left the room in order to let his sister rest. 

Popola and her quick acting had been a godsend. After Nier had returned the prior day with the necessary herbs the librarian had managed to mix him a small bottle of medicine within a few hours. With a silent sigh Nier left his home for a new morning, content with knowing that Yonah wouldn’t experience any more pain in the following hours. 

The sun was still hanging low on the horizon. It was early even for his own schedule but Nier hadn’t been able to get any sleep last night. No, his mind had been racing through the hours of night, trying to analyze and take apart that odd meeting he had experienced in the forest. 

Emil.

Emil was probably one of the strangest people Nier had ever met. First of all, kids his age weren’t as common. Since the appearance of the black disease many young people had been infected, ultimately resulting in their deaths. Nier had been lucky enough never to have been seriously sick though he could only guess that the universe had balanced his luck out with Yonah’s fate.

But Emil… How a boy without sight made navigating that forest not only look easy but also like it was second nature was beyond Nier. Sure, apparently he lived somewhere around the forest but the more Nier thought about that information the less sense it actually made. 

First of all, Nier knew the layout of their maps. He knew in theory where the Aerie, Seafront and the forbidden Lost Shrine were located if he took the village as the center point. The forest part he had entered and probably explored the most had been in the direction of the ocean, thus revealing the lack of any settlements. So if Seafront was too far away and the village wasn’t Emil’s home either… Just where did he live?

Placing his hand onto his bag, Nier could feel the bottle rustling around with his other items. It was probably a stupid idea, worst than the ones he usually had, but curiosity had always been his weak point. 

“Oh, good morning, Nier!”

The boy cursed himself. Of course Devola would notice him sneaking around, that woman was apparently never sleeping. 

“Morning, Devola.” Nier reluctantly replied as he walked over. He sat down on the fountain and watched her play for a second or two. How she could hold entire conversations without missing any notes was beyond him. 

“You’re up early. How is Yonah?”

“Doing better. Thanks to Popola’s medicine she has been able to sleep through the entire night. I owe you two a lot for looking after her in my absence.”

Devola laughed and smiled at him, her eyes warm and familiar. “Don’t mention it. She’s a sweetheart and you’re working so hard, it’s the least we can do for you. Just make sure not to overdo it, okay?” 

Nier rolled his eyes though the chuckle he received in return proved that Devola didn’t take it the wrong way. “Where are you off to this early? Another job?”

Ah. There it was. The topic he had meant to avoid. Nier reached up and rubbed his neck while his other hand strengthened its hold on the bag. 

“Not… necessarily, no. I met someone a while ago with a sick family member and I thought that I could bring them some of Popola’s medicine. They were kind and I wanted to do something in return.” Shrugging his shoulders, Nier felt embarrassed speaking his intentions out loud. Hearing the words made him wonder if he looked at stupid as he felt. 

Sweet Devola luckily didn't push it.

“That’s very considerate of you, Nier. I’m sure they will appreciate it.” 

“Yeah… I hope so too.” He got back up and corrected his clothes before nodding towards the woman. “I should get going. If anyone asks, tell them I’m headed for Seafront.” 

“Of course. Take care and be careful. With the supply group not having returned yet the village is on high alert. So make sure not to do anything reckless.”

“Got it. See ya, Devola.”

So anyway, Nier went back into the forest. 

Was it stupid? Sure. Careless? Definitely. Absolutely crazy? Probably. Did he regret it?

That was to be determined. 

Pushing his way past some low hanging branches, Nier clutched the compass in his hand. He was trying to find his way back to the spot he had first met Emil, absently wondering whether he had gone mad. Why would Emil even be back in the forest? And at that specific place? 

Really, the more he thought about it the more he wanted to slap his past self. 

Twigs and leaves gave away his every step and Nier sighed as he continued to walk for what felt like hours. Maybe he should call for Emil? But no, he didn’t want to attract any unwarranted attention.

“Way to go, stupid.” Nier mumbled under his breath as he pushed on, hoping that eventually he would either find his way out or spot his odd acquaintance. 

In hindsight, Nier regretted his words. 

He had been walking for a while when he suddenly stumbled over something heavy. With a surprised cry Nier fell straight onto his hands, the pain immediately shooting up his arms and shoulders. A muffled groan left his gritted teeth as he pushed himself onto his knees. Mud was clinging to his clothes and Nier was busy brushing it off when his body froze up. Blue eyes widened upon seeing just what he had fallen over and Nier could feel the strangled scream stuck in his throat. 

There, underneath a pile of leaves was a stone-like arm peeking out. 

And with it, a head with the expression of pure horror. 

Backing off without thinking, Nier crawled away until his back hit a tree. He was still staring at the revealed statue with unadulterated fear and terror. The wrinkles in the man’s clothes, the terrified look of imminent death… It all was too lifelike. It didn’t help that Nier recognized him as one of the suppliers.

The statue had once been a regular in their tavern and if Nier remembered correctly he had been a father as well. 

Nier wanted to scream. He wanted to get up and run away, wanted to forget the horrifying sight and yet he couldn’t avert his eyes. His head started pounding, his ears were ringing and for a moment his vision turned blurry as he couldn’t control his quickening breath anymore. 

He needed to leave. Run. Needed to get back to the village before that thing would get him, had to warn the others, tell Popola about this, burn this forsaken forest down before anything could get near them, before that monster could get its hands on— 

When something touched his shoulder, Nier finally screamed.

He hadn’t expected an echo behind himself though. 

A higher voice than his yelled in surprise and shortly after Nier heard a thud as something hit the ground. The distraction was enough to make him look away and upon spinning around Nier found himself not far away from a startled Emil whose clothes were now as dirty as his own. The young boy whined softly and rubbed his behind though the moment he seemed to hear Nier moving those hands shot out in front of his face, clearly aiming to protect himself. 

“Emil?” Nier asked with a broken voice. He stared at the boy for several long moments until his mind finally caught up with everything that had just happened in the last minutes. 

“N-Nier? It’s you, right?”

Relief washed over him like much needed rain and Nier was thankful for the new focus. He quickly got back up onto his feet and took Emil’s lowered hands, helping him back up as well. 

“I’m sorry, Emil, there is—” He stopped himself before he could reveal more. No, Emil didn’t have to know. 

“I thought I had seen something but it was just my imagination.” Nier pushed on, lying through his teeth. He could see the concern in furrowed brows but before Emil could ask what was going on, Nier had already grabbed his hand. He dragged the smaller boy away from the stoned corpses and hopefully further away from whatever had caused their deaths.

“W-Wait, Nier! Slow down! I can’t walk as quickly as you!” Emil protested and Nier felt bad for causing such a struggle for the other. It was probably another two or three minutes until they finally came to a stop and upon seeing Emil lean heavily against a tree Nier couldn’t help but wince. Neat purple was covered in mud now and Emil’s straight hair looked messy. Reaching out, Nier removed some twigs from the boy’s hair, a mumbled apology on his lips when Emil visibly flinched. 

“Sorry for startling you, Emil… This forest, it’s getting to me.” Nier attempted, an awkward tone to his voice. He still felt uneasy knowing just what had happened to their supply group but he had to control his own fears. He never allowed Yonah to see his true emotions and neither would he upset Emil. 

“No! No, I’m the one who should apologize. Sebastian notified me of a presence and then I heard you falling and I was worried you were injured. I snuck up on you, didn’t I?”

And the worry that filled Emil’s words was heartwarming, in a sense. Nier knew that the other wasn’t lying and that his concerns were real. 

“I’m okay. Better, actually, now that I found you.”

“Found me?” Emil echoed, clearly confused. Nier was already rummaging through his bag until he found a small bottle that thankfully hadn’t been crushed in his fall. If it had broken he probably would have cried of frustration. Instead, he took Emil’s hand and pushed the item into it. 

“I was looking for you. I wanted to repay you for your company, I guess… A-Anyway, I brought you some medicine. It can numb even the strongest pain and it was created with the herbs I found yesterday. Yonah is feeling better and I remembered you mentioning your own sister so I thought…” Embarrassment blossomed on his cheeks and Nier helplessly shrugged his shoulders, rubbing his arm in the process. 

“You came back… to give me medicine for my sister?” Emil summarized and while Nier had half expected any form of mockery, all he could hear was genuine surprise and…

Sadness? Gratefulness?

It was difficult to interpret but Nier had been sure that Emil’s voice had wavered at the end. He watched silently as the smaller boy hugged the bottle close to his chest as if to protect it from any harm. 

“... Thank you, Nier.” 

The words were spoken so softly that Nier almost missed them. His gaze softened and he smiled at the reassurement that his decision hadn’t been the wrong one. 

“Don’t mention it…” Waving off the slight embarrassment he felt, Nier looked around. The forest had returned to being quiet and with how normal everything seemed it was almost unbelievable that he had just found one of his village’s men. Emil probably had a calming presence to him. 

“Where is your pet bird?” Nier found himself asking. He checked the branches above their heads but he couldn’t spot the odd crow anywhere. 

“Sebastian? Oh, he’s around. He doesn’t trust others easily and is super wary of those who enter the forest. But he seems to like you enough not to go for your ear so I would call that a success!”

And with the way Emil actually brightened up at that statement Nier guessed that he should be grateful? Then again the idea of an angry bird picking at his head for the entirety of their talk wasn’t a pleasant one. So yeah… Nier would be grateful to be on good terms with that ball of feathers. 

“Say, Emil…”

“Hm?” The smaller boy cocked his head, his arms now behind his back. He was once again rocking back and forth on his heels and Nier wondered if that was a habit of his. It made Emil look like an excited child that was waiting for permission to play. 

“... I still have some time before I have to go back to the village. I was considering collecting some more herbs. Would you like to help me with that?”

Nier didn’t really need more herbs. It wasn’t like he could just hand them over to Popola, thus revealing that he had illegally entered the woods. But he wanted to spend just a bit more time with this odd boy and using medicine as an excuse seemed just as good. 

Besides, the relieved smile on Emil’s lips told Nier that he had asked the right question. It seemed like the two of them were equally interested in figuring the other out and if there was anything that Nier was already sure about it was that Emil carried a certain melancholy with him. A sadness that he didn’t show. 

“I’d love to! Come on, I know just the spots where we can find some!”

Allowing the fresh memories of that statue to fade away for the time being, Nier muttered a small “Alright.” before following Emil deeper into the woods. He listened to the boy ramble and when he looked up towards the hidden sky he sometimes even caught sight of a crow following them. 

All of this was odd. But Nier found himself not minding it. 

With his bag full of herbs and his mind racing with detailed information about the infrastructure and biological components of the forest, Nier came to the conclusion that the day had been mostly good. He had listened to Emil rant on and on about the different types of plants and berries, some of which were poisonous and some that were edible. Every once in a while Emil would stop in the middle of a sentence, suddenly realizing that he had taken up most of their speaking time but Nier reassured him every single instance. Nier didn’t consider himself an interesting or complex person so listening to Emil passionately explaining all sorts of things he had learned had been a pleasant way to waste time. 

But every day had to come to an end and sooner than expected Nier found himself back at the edge of the forest, light and sounds reaching him from the exit. He readjusted the heavy bag and looked back at Emil. If Nier had to describe him he would have compared the boy to a kicked puppy. 

“I guess… This is it then.” Emil whispered and deep within him Nier felt a similar reluctance to leave. However, Yonah was waiting for him and he couldn’t afford to be selfish. 

“Don’t make it sound like a goodbye. You know I’ll be back, right?” 

Emil’s head snapped up and even without seeing his eyes Nier could imagine them being wide open.

“Y-You will?”

Just what had happened to this boy that had made him become this way?

“Of course. We’re friends now, aren’t we? I probably can’t come by tomorrow but I will try the day after.” Nier explained. He couldn’t neglect too many of his job requests in favor of hanging out. He needed the money, after all. 

“Friends… Okay! I’ll see you soon then, Nier!”

“See ya!” Waving goodbye, Nier walked the remaining distance out of the forest. He had just stepped back into the light when he noticed someone watching him from the shadows of the forest. Furrowing his brows, Nier eventually recognized the shape as that oddly dressed woman that had started to linger around the village. He had yet to talk to her but he knew that the villagers were afraid of her. With some hesitation Nier averted his eyes and returned home. 

Even hours later he couldn’t shake off the feeling that this woman had taken him apart with her stare.

Chapter Text

Nier wasn’t a stranger to hunting. Be it in the form of fishing, collecting mutton or killing the occasional boar that terrorized the villagers. He knew how to sneak up, how to attack and defend himself. 

So why was it that difficult to approach someone without looking like the most suspicious person on earth?

Readjusting his hair tie, Nier took a deep breath and finally gathered his courage. The library was mostly empty in the evening and he wanted to use the little privacy they would have. He approached the young man who had busied himself with returning books to the shelves. 

“Excuse me…? Weiss?” 

The man turned to him, a stern but exhausted look on his face. He was wearing a simple black robe with white ornaments and his white hair revealed strands of red. As far as Nier was aware the guy was only like three years older than him but with the air he carried himself one could think he was way older. 

“That’s Grimm Weiss for you. I must insist that you call me by my proper name.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Weiss. So anyway, I have a few questions…” Nier began, gracefully ignoring the groan he received in return. Why that guy wanted to act all proper was beyond him but Nier didn’t have the patience to play games. 

They had never spoken before and it seemed like Weiss was very aware of that fact. Nier could see how he had caught the other’s interest even if the librarian tried his best to remain neutral. 

“You are friends with Popola, if I am not mistaken? Why would you approach me, a stranger, to ask your questions if a more knowledgeable person is just a few stairs away?” 

“Because you don’t have the range and influence that she has.” Nier replied. It was a dangerous answer but he needed to get the other interested in what he had to say. “I know that she would never answer my questions and just discourage me from finding out more so I’m turning to you. Someone with no affection or friendship towards me.”

And there it was. That raised brow that signaled curiosity. Nier bit his lips so he wouldn’t start smiling. He did what he could, now it was up to Weiss to reel himself in. 

“Judging by your words those questions of yours are not of the casual type. You are seeking me out for you know that I will neither treat you like a child nor try to spare you the honest answers…” 

Weiss pushed the last book into the shelf and fully turned to him. 

“Color me interested, lad. Is it safe to assume that you wish to take this to a more secluded area?” 

Nodding, Nier remained quiet as he waited for Weiss to finish whatever job he had in the library. He stood by the door and after a while the two left the building together. Nier followed Weiss up the outer wall that surrounded their village and quickly realized that the young man was taking him to the lone tree that looked down upon the north and east gates. It was a shielded and secluded area for sure, and with the little traffic in the evening they were pretty much unbothered. 

When Weiss came to a stop the nervousness finally caught up to Nier. He rubbed his hands together, not quite sure how to start this whole conversation. Truth be told, he hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“So, Weiss…”

“That’s Grimm Weiss.”

“... I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about the Silent Forest.”

Nier’s eyes had been focused on his gloves though when the usually eloquent man remained silent the boy forced himself to look up. He found surprise in Weiss’ eyes but also some form of guard. It seemed like he had hit a sensitive topic on its head. 

“And where is this sudden interest coming from, lad? I have neither heard nor seen you ever ask about those lingering woods, what might have happened to change that mind of yours?”

Replying to a question with a question. What an adult thing to do. 

“Yesterday I entered the forest to look for some herbs. You know, for medicine. And while I was there I wondered what had caused its growth… And what the deal was with the creature inhabiting those woods.”

Nier watched as Weiss’ expression morphed into one of defense. It was clear the librarian was cautious now, clearly choosing his words wisely. He needed to push on before Weiss could brush him off and escape. 

“I went back today.” Nier found himself admitting. “And I found a statue. The petrified corpse of one of our men. It was hidden underneath a pile of leaves as if someone had tried to hide it. If that creature wants to mark and defend its territory, why would it hide its disgusting masterpieces instead of presenting it like a warning? Has anyone ever even seen the thing that can do that?”

Nier could see it. Slowly but surely Weiss’ resolve was falling apart. The young man was torn between walking away and finding out more. Nier was one of the few who had ever seen a statue and returned to talk about it, there was no way Weiss didn’t have any questions. 

And when the librarian sighed Nier knew that he had won. Curiosity was a poison too addictive for anyone to deny it.

“The being that can petrify us… whatever it is, it must be one of the most monstrous entities that has ever walked our grounds...”

Jumping onto a fallen trunk, Emil stuck his tongue out as he tiptoed over the rough surface. He had some trouble keeping his balance but with a satisfied huff he jumped off the other end, gracefully landing on his feet. He was in quite the good mood when Sebastian cawed somewhere above him, notifying him of yet another presence. 

This time, however, Emil didn’t have to be afraid. After all, he would recognize that aura anywhere. 

“Kainé!” he called out with growing excitement and without a care he ran over to the woman, crashing into her for a hug. He could hear her amused exhale and not a moment later he felt a hand ruffling his hair. 

“It’s been a while, Emil.” 

Looking up, unseeing, Emil could only nod. “I’m relieved to see that you’re alright! You haven’t been gone for that long in months so I was worried. You always get into trouble without me around.”

He could hear her low chuckle as he removed his arms to give his friend some space. 

“I guess I do. But I had some business in the Aerie, sorry for taking so long. It’s been taken care of so I will stay for a day or two.”

Sebastian cawed from above their heads and soon Emil felt a familiar weight on his shoulders. 

“Bird.” Kainé said. “Caw.” Sebastian replied. 

“If you’ll stay, does that mean we can have another camping night? I wanna hear all about your adventures and the things you have experienced.” Emil knew that he shouldn’t be as excited but he couldn’t stop himself. This had been the most active day he had had in a long while and there was no way he would miss out on any precious second with Kainé.

“Sure. But first I have a question for you.”

Cocking his head, Emil patiently waited for his friend to continue. 

“What’s the deal with you and the delivery boy?” 

Well, that was… unexpected? At first, Emil merely found himself confused. What did she mean by delivery boy? There was no ‘deal’ between him or anyone…

Oh. 

Oh. 

Nier. There was no way she could be talking about anyone else. Nier had told him himself that he took on lots of jobs for the villagers. Something about shopping lists and flower seeds and mutton. 

Did that mean that Kainé had seen them talking?

Without warning Emil felt his face heat up just a little bit. He took a surprised step back, his hands flailing uselessly in front of him. However, before he could try and talk himself out of this he suddenly remembered something. His eyes widened behind his blindfold and he grabbed Kainé’s hands with his own.

“Kainé! I need your help! There is a group of three men I petrified but they were too heavy for me to move. I hid them but I think Nier stumbled over their bodies. I have to get rid of them before he comes back!”

The woman pulled her hand away from his hold but he soon felt her tapping his forehead. 

“Who is getting into trouble now, huh? Go on, show the way. But don’t expect me to forget about the delivery boy. You can tell me all about him once we cleaned up your mess.”

“Its magic is unlike anything we know. It seems… ancient, for the lack of better description. Whatever that creature is using is from a knowledge that no longer exists and that is no longer in our possession. It’s the reason why we have difficulties finding a way to reverse the petrification of our companions.”

“Reverse?” Nier pressed on. He was sitting on the ground, arms wrapped around his legs, as he listened closely to the stories of the librarian. After Weiss had warmed up for him (and after Nier had shared his fair share of descriptions regarding his findings) the young man had started to talk like a waterfall. Most of it was just eloquently spoken nonsense but Nier felt like they were finally coming to the meat of the knowledge he wanted. 

“In theory, yes. Magic might not follow the rules of our known world but it is not without structure. You can take frozen water and return it to its original state or freeze it once again. Magic follows its own laws and nothing is final. We exist in a never ending cycle of energy exchange and as long as you understand this system you should be capable of returning anything to its original form.”

“So we have to understand whatever magic that thing is using and we can turn everyone back?” Nier tried to summarize. He would have preferred short and easy answers but at least Weiss hadn’t lost him yet. 

“Easier said than done, lad. Magic is very specific and unique. Recreating a spell whose components you do not fully know or understand can lead to more despair than liberation. With this ancient spell we are speaking of I doubt that anyone but the caster themselves would know how to reverse it or have the necessary power to do so.”

Nier allowed the words to sink in for a little while. Weiss had crushed his hopes in the same breath he had created them. Shit. So unless they found the thing and asked it to pretty please destroy its hardwork from the couple years there would be little hope to ever turn them back. 

“Is there anything else on your mind, lad? I must admit that prior to this day I had thought you to be a simple soul but it appears there is more to you. You said you returned today to look for more herbs, isn’t that correct?”

Barely listening, Nier simply nodded. His mind was still racing when he was torn out of his thoughts by a hand reaching for his bag, roughly pulling at it. With a yelp Nier barely managed to catch himself before he could have made contact with the ground and he glared up at Weiss who stood above him, the bag dangling from two of his fingers. 

“And found you have them, indeed. So why, I must wonder, have you not handed them in? You seeked me out in the library, you could have simply walked up to Popola. And yet you have kept those important herbs to yourself, coming to me with a story that speaks of holes.” Weiss’ voice didn’t change at all but Nier gritted his teeth when the librarian’s eyes narrowed. 

Damn it. 

“You did not return to the forbidden woods in search of these herbs. So why, my dear lad, would a young spirit like you risk his life to enter a place if not for an important goal in mind? What have you found on your first journey that lured you back inside?” 

“Nnngghhh!!” 

Dragging the last of the statues into the courtyard, Emil could feel all his muscles screaming at him. It had taken all his strength to drag this body from the front door to the back and he couldn’t help but feel a little bit jealous at how easily Kainé could carry them all with a single arm. It was really unfair!

With heavy pants the boy leaned against the statue, using the petrified man for some support as he tried to calm his breathing. His nose pulled up in disgust when he felt the sweat clinging to his blindfold. 

He would have to change it later. 

“You okay?” Kainé’s amused voice came from somewhere to his left and Emil waved the concern off, clearly showing how unaffected he was by this physical labor. 

He rested another few minutes until his legs stopped feeling like jelly. Pushing himself off the statue, Sebastian landed on his shoulder just as Emil began to walk back inside the manor. The crow would strengthen its hold with its claws whenever he was walking towards a statue and with the help of his beloved pet he finally made it through the obstacle course that were the dozens of petrified bodies. 

If this continued his courtyard would be full with statues in no time and he would have to move them to the back. 

The footsteps of Kainé’s heels echoed through the empty halls of his manor as the woman followed him towards the kitchen. 

“Would you like some tea?” Emil offered as he felt his way towards the kettle. He filled it with some water and soon started the fireplace to hang it up. Next he grabbed some of the herbs he and Nier had collected, crushing them until they were small enough for the cloth. Kainé had taken a seat at the table and although the room was quiet except for the sounds of him rummaging around, it was a nice silence. Emil felt content in the presence of his friend and there was no need to hide what he had become. 

After all, Kainé was just the same. 

“His name is Nier.” Emil started. He had finally scrapped together the little courage he had, appreciative of the woman not pushing him. “I don’t know a lot about him but he’s from the village. He came to the forest to look for herbs because his sister has the black disease.” 

Two cups were placed onto the table and Emil sat down while the water began to boil. Hands tightly wrapped around his scarf, he began to fiddle around with it. “Sebastian had notified me of him and I had intended on… you know…” He gestured towards his blindfold. “But he was just my age, he wasn’t one of the adults. And on top of that, I hadn’t been informed about him. I guess his decision was an impulsive one because they didn’t warn me about him…” 

Emil smiled shyly and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m glad I hesitated though! Nier turned out to be super nice and not once did he ask me any uncomfortable questions! He told me about his sister and the jobs he does and the place where he lives and I told him about the herbs and plants and how interesting the forest is!” 

He was grinning now, clearly comfortable with talking about his new acquaintance. “I thought it would only be one time, you know? Him coming to the forest because he needed something and then him disappearing. But then he came back this morning and said that he had been looking for me. Me, can you imagine, Kainé? He is scared of the forest but he came back because he wanted to give me a bottle of medicine.” 

Emil had to take a short break after his little ramble as he had run out of breath. He pushed himself up when the kettle began to whistle but a hand simply pushed him back into the seat. 

“He even called me his friend.” Emil finished now with a much softer voice. The sounds of Kainé moving around and a cup being placed in front of him signaled that the tea was ready and Emil wrapped his hands around the offered warmth. He took several deep breaths to smell the pleasant herbs. 

“He was the first person I met who treated me normally. I-I mean, don’t get me wrong, you are super nice to me too, Kainé! It’s just that he’s—” 

“An outsider who doesn’t know?” the woman finished for him. Emil had feared that he had offended his friend but he could hear a smile in her voice. His friend was happy for him and that was enough to put his mind at ease. He fell back into the chair and shyly nodded. 

“It gets so lonely at times. And I know we both have our own duties and that you can’t stay here… But meeting Nier and having him come back just for me… It made me feel special, in a way.” Emil smiled sadly and reached up to touch the dirty blindfold. “Not this kind of special but… But a different kind. He made me feel normal and special at the same time… It’s hard to explain.” 

A snort came from the opposite side of the table and a chair squeaked as Kainé changed her position. “I get you, kid. Just be careful, alright?”

“Of course I will!” 

“Good. But tell me if that delivery boy ever dares to turn on you. I won’t hesitate to take my blade and shove it so far up his—”

“Kainé!” Emil interrupted with an expression of shock. “Nier isn’t like the villagers! Not like those guys from years ago! I trust him and he promised me he wouldn’t tell a soul about me!”

“And that’s what I worry about, kid. You’re too kind and trusting for your own good.” Kainé sighed. Emil was pouting though deep down he knew his friend was simply looking after him. After everything they had experienced it only made sense for them to be wary of anyone who appeared to be nice.

“I’m strong! I can look after myself! I mean, did you see me drag that statue across the land? Last time it took me way longer.”

The laughter he received in return made him smile. Emil didn’t want to argue with Kainé and he doubted that she wanted a fight either. It was always way better when they got along. 

“Hey, Kainé? Would you tell me what you know about him? I know you hang out around the village sometimes and I’m curious…” 

Listening to a cup being lifted and soon after placed back onto the table, Emil held his breath as Kainé made her decision. 

“Don’t expect a long or interesting story because that kid seems pretty boring. But I can tell you about the time I saw him in the Northern Plains getting the shit kicked out of him by some goats.”

Grinning widely, Emil readjusted his seat as he leaned forward, eager to find out more about that mysterious boy called Nier. 

Staring up at Weiss, Nier knew that he had been cornered. He gritted his teeth in frustration. Damn it! With Weiss holding onto his bag he had enough evidence to go to Popola and if either of the twins found out about him breaking the village’s rules he would be in deep trouble. His blue eyes narrowed and with a snarl on his lips he tried to grab the bag but the librarian held it just out of reach.

“Now, lad. I would welcome it if you would return my hospitality with the same kind. I told you what I know about the magic of the beast and it only seems fair if you share your knowledge with me as well.”

Shit. 

What was he supposed to do? If he refused to satisfy Weiss’ curiosity the other would tell on him and who knew when Nier would be allowed outside the village again. But if he did say the truth he would possibly endanger a friend…

Closing his eyes, the boy took a deep breath, making up his mind.

For Yonah’s sake Nier needed to be able to leave the village at will. 

I’m sorry. 

“I…” 

He pushed himself into a sitting position and stared down at his hands. Damn it.

“The reason why I returned to the forest. I can’t tell you.”

Blue eyes opened and he looked up at Weiss. There was no guarding expression, no attempt to talk about it. “It’s true that you have been quite honest with me but just like my story has holes in it, so does yours. I think you know more about all of this but something is holding you back from telling me. And I think that something is the same reason as to why I haven’t distributed these herbs yet.” 

Nier got back up onto his feet and held his hand out. It was not demanding, rather he allowed Weiss to make a decision himself. 

“If Popola finds out about us talking about this we both would be in trouble. You may act like you got blackmail on me but we both know that we can’t tell her. I can’t reveal my secret and you can’t admit that for your own curiosity you gave away information.” 

Taking a step forward, Nier looked up at Weiss with brutal honesty. 

“I can’t tell you, Weiss. But I would like to ask for your help regardless. Please lend me your power and knowledge so we can unravel this. Together. I want to cure my sister’s illness but there is another mystery I want to solve. And for that I need someone who knows about magic and legends.”

“And what would be in it for me, lad? So far your proposal only seems profitable for one side.” Weiss pointed out but Nier knew that this was all an act at this point. The young man had never intended to rat him out, it had been a test of character. After all, if Nier had revealed information that easily he wouldn’t be someone to confide in. 

“You were willing to speak to me in the first place. And you were surprised that I had found a statue. You are just as curious about all of this as I am. We both want answers and closure but we will need each other. You can’t move freely inside and outside the village and I don’t have your knowledge. So what do you say… Partners?” 

Still holding out his hand, Nier listened to his racing heart as he held his breath. He had tried to play his cards right but ultimately the decision was all Weiss’. It seemed like an eternity had to pass before the librarian moved. But when he finally did, it was to place the bag back into Nier’s hand. 

“I fear I might come to regret this choice but you have intrigued me, lad. You may see me as a faithful companion.”

“Thanks, Weiss!” 

“That’s Grimm Weiss to you.”

Chapter Text

Just as expected, the following day left little to no room for Nier to worry about anything but his jobs. He had awoken early in order to collect the laid eggs of the village’s chickens, had already gotten through most of the given shopping list and on top of that had fought yet another rampaging boar. Before the sun had even reached its peak Nier had already felt like dropping dead but he pushed on nonetheless, remembering that they were short on money. Catching runaway sheep, killing goats and carrying heavy boxes full of trash had been just a few more points on the long list for the day. But not once did he complain, not once did he allow his expression to show the exhaustion or annoyance that he had felt in those moments. 

After all, he was doing this for Yonah. 

When Nier returned that evening he collapsed onto his bed. His body hurt, his head hurt, but most importantly his heart hurt. He had found his sister sound asleep at the dining table. Apparently Yonah had cooked one of her infamous stews for him, going as far as to wait for his return. He could feel the lump in his throat as he carefully picked her up and carried her the few stairs to her room. Laying her sleeping body down, Nier ran his hand through her hair. 

“I’m so sorry, Yonah…” he whispered. Nier knew how much his sister missed him. And he wanted to spend time with her, he really did. But they needed food. And more importantly, they needed medicine. Nier couldn’t afford spending too many days at home, and on top of all that he now also had Emil to worry about. 

Sometimes Nier allowed himself to doubt. In the silence of the night, when he was sure that no one could see him, then he would allow the dark thoughts to catch up to him. The fear, the desperation, the disgust and the hopelessness. The brother sat down at the table and began to eat as much of the cold stew as he could, not stopping even when he began to feel sick. He couldn’t give up. Not yet, not ever. 

He just couldn’t.

Swinging his legs back and forth, Emil hummed to himself. He had used the past day to catch up on stories with Kainé and after they had hidden most of the statues underneath several big clothes, Emil had felt a lot better. It was always difficult to see victims of his curse though whenever he would feel even remotely down Kainé would be there to cheer him up and distract him. 

Truly, he owed his friend a lot. And though he mentioned it over and over again, Emil doubted Kainé was aware just how appreciative he was of their friendship. 

In the absence of Halua Kainé was everything he had left. 

“You’re in an awfully good mood.” the woman pointed out from somewhere to his left. Emil was sitting on a thicker branch, enjoying the few sunbeams that broke through the thick leaves and though he knew exactly why he was feeling like humming, he merely shrugged his shoulders. 

“Why shouldn’t I be? The breeze feels nice, I stayed up all night talking to you and—”

“And the delivery boy is probably on his way already, eager to sweep you off your feet.”

Emil hadn’t meant to lose his balance. He also hadn’t meant to screech in surprise but really, if anyone was to blame it was Kainé. How she could always say such embarrassing things without even a moment of hesitation was beyond him! Luckily for Emil though he was caught before he got too close and personal with the dirty ground below. He wrapped an arm around Kainé’s neck, Holding onto her in fear she would simply let go now that he wasn’t in danger of hitting his head. 

“Just like that, yeah.” she said and Emil turned into her direction in hopes that his glare would be conveyed through his pout. 

“I think I liked you more when you weren’t so on board with me meeting him. What changed your mind anyway?” Emil asked as he was gently placed back onto the ground. It took him a second or two to reorientate himself but after feeling for the nearest tree he could position himself again. 

The movement of some clothes told him that Kainé was probably shrugging her shoulders or moving in a similar manner. He leaned against a trunk and began to fiddle around with his wrapped scarf. 

“I guess I’m growing soft.” Kainé said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. “It’s been months since I saw you this bubbly and with how weak and pathetic that delivery boy looks I doubt he could do any real harm even if he tried. He’s such an ass kisser in the village that he would bend over backwards if it meant earning a single coin. If he’s enough to entertain you I guess I can keep him around for a little longer. But remember, if he does lay a hand on you I won’t hesitate to cut his own off.” 

Killing threat pushed aside, Emil could hear the affection as clear as the cold breeze between leaves. Kainé was great at hiding how she often felt but it had become quite easy for him to make out the small changes in pronunciation and emphasis whenever his friend talked to him. All that rough talking was just a front and Emil felt honored that Kainé lowered her guard around him. Reaching out, he gently squeezed her wrist. 

“Thank you. I appreciate you looking after me, really! And I will do the same for you! If anyone ever bothers you just tell me and I will have a strict talk with them. I heard my gaze can be quite intense and intimidating.”

Emil wasn’t sure where his confidence was coming from but when Kainé began to laugh he didn’t hesitate to join in. Truth be told, he had been hating his eyes ever since he had been cursed. The first months without constant sight had harmed him both physically and mentally, and without his sister around Emil had expected to have gone mad in his own loneliness and despair. 

But then he had stumbled upon Kainé. 

It had been… three years ago? Two years? Since he had found her in the middle of the forest, sheltering herself from the terrible weather. The moment they had met they had felt each other’s curse, had immediately known that the one in front of them had been the same. And so Emil had taken Kainé in, had treated her wounds from a nasty fight and offered her shelter for as long as she needed. It had been a freeing experience. After years of isolation and loneliness he had finally met someone who he didn’t have to lie to or be afraid of. Kainé had taught him not to think of his eyes as a sin. She had told him that there had been a reason for his curse and that he shouldn’t feel ashamed for his abilities. 

Kainé had become his reason to push forward. After all, Halua was counting on him. 

“If I ever have boy problems I will make sure to tell you.” Kainé replied with an amused tone. Emil simply grinned though their moment was interrupted when Sebastian began to caw, even going as far as flapping his wings. 

Emil immediately straightened his back and moved his head, trying to make out any new sounds. 

“Take care, squirt. I will see you around.” 

There was no reason to respond. His friend was gone before he could even utter a single word. 

Holding out his arm, Emil quickly felt the additional weight as Sebastian took a seat near his elbow. The bird cawed again and Emil dutifully followed the non verbal instructions. 

It didn’t take long for him to find Nier. While the villager was certainly quiet on his feet there were more than enough noises for Emil to make out his exact position. Though he was a bit surprised when judging by the sounds, the other boy was somewhere close to the ground, pushing leaves and branches away. 

Ah. 

If Emil remembered correctly, they must have been somewhere close to where Nier had gotten scared last time. And that meant… 

Was Nier looking for the statue?

His good mood quickly replaced by nervousness, Emil had half the mind to simply turn back though it seemed like the decision had already been taken from him.

“Emil!” 

There were some rustling noises as Nier no doubt got back up onto his feet. Emil could hear the other clearing his throat, probably to brush off whatever embarrassment he was feeling. Smiling softly, Emil lifted his arms so Sebastian could fly off before he put them behind his back, softly rocking on his heels. 

“Good morning, Nier. Did you drop something?”

The question was innocent enough though Emil could feel the nervousness bubbling underneath his skin. If Nier had really been looking for the bodies… Emil didn’t want to think of the possibilities. 

“Hm? Oh, I uh… I’m searching for mushrooms, actually. They’re on the shopping list I was given yesterday but the usual spots were empty so I was kinda hoping this forest would have some. You know, with no one ever coming here and stuff.”

Plausible enough. Emil exhaled quietly and relaxed his stand, a smile appearing on his lips. “I can help you! I know of a few nice spots and I use them for soup all the time. I wouldn’t mind sharing some if it would be beneficial.”

“Please. You’re a lifesaver, Emil. Thank you.” The relief, he was sure, wasn’t faked which made Emil wonder just what Nier would have done if he had said no. From the little stories Kainé had told him Nier was always in desperate need for money and the implications that this had brought with it had been unsettling, to say the least. Emil had tried to push Kainé into telling him more, explaining just what kind of dangerous jobs someone desperate enough would take on but his friend had changed the topic to more light hearted quests. Whether Kainé had had her own suspicions or simple fears, Emil hadn’t known. But it had left him restless. 

Guiding Nier through the forest had quickly become a habit of his. They easily fell into step with one another and even though Emil felt confident in his surroundings, it was still endearing whenever Nier warned him of unevenness in the ground. Sure, Emil did stumble a couple times, it was bound to happen, but every time there was even a possibility of him falling he would feel the ghost of a touch on his back or arm. He deduced that while Nier didn’t go out of his way to avoid physical touch it was clear that he was more reserved. 

After half an hour the two of them reached a small clearing. Trees gave way for a patch of green grass and while Emil couldn’t see them he could certainly smell the flowers. Over many months he had grown different types here and whenever he had been alone he would have stolen a quick glance or two at the ocean of colors. The clearing was deep enough into the forest that no sane men would come even close and so they had allowed him a little spot just for himself. It made him feel vulnerable, sharing such a secret and personal place with Nier. Kainé knew, of course she did, but no outsider had ever set foot into his safe haven. 

He hoped Nier would be kind to his flowers. 

“Wow… This is… beautiful.” Emil heard from his right side and he simply nodded in agreement. He yearned to look at the flowers, wished he could experience their colors again but it was too dangerous to remove his blindfold around Nier. 

“I planted them myself. It was quite the trial and error and many withered away from too much or too little watering. But eventually I developed a green thumb... “ Emil explained shyly. He didn’t like bragging but he felt too much pride for this little spot. Nier had gone quiet next to him until a low whistle came from him. 

“You did?” There was something to Nier’s tone that Emil couldn’t quite place. He felt watched and though he couldn’t see his friend he began to squirm nonetheless. 

“It’s… it’s nothing special. Really. I got lots of time on my hands and you didn’t see all the failures I had to dig out but—”

“It’s amazing, Emil. You are amazing. We got a little garden in front of our home and growing anything there is so much hard work and wasted time if it withers. For you to manage a field like this… Don’t belittle your achievements.” 

Admiration, Emil realized. The tone he hadn’t been able to place had been admiration. He could feel his cheeks heating up alongside his neck, unable to reply right away to the blatant compliments. His chest tightened in a good way and though there was little he could do to express the sudden burst of energy, Emil decided to simply smile. 

“Thank you, Nier…” his voice was soft and full of emotions he couldn’t hope to explain. “Thank you for your kindness.”

They stood in silence for a moment before Emil gestured towards the field in front of them. “You can go ahead and take some, if you’d like. Make a small bouquet for your sister. I’m sure there will be a few types that you don’t see around the village and maybe it would cheer her up a little.”

There was some hesitation before Nier spoke up. “Are you sure? You put so much work into them and I—”

“I’m sure. I don’t know what the field looks like right now but if you say it’s beautiful then I believe you. It would be a shame not to share this with the people you like and rather than keeping them all to myself I would rather have you use them to brighten somebody’s day. See it as a payback for the medicine.”

“I mean, if you’re sure about it…” Nier’s voice drifted off and Emil focused on the steps as the other boy walked away from him. There was some more rustling and soon Emil could make out the bone chilling sound of a knife being unsheathed. However, Nier seemed to be using it to cleanly cut the stems. 

As he waited for Nier to return, Emil began to notice a shift in atmosphere. He lifted his head and focused on the slight change in smell. The wind had picked up its pace as well and before Emil could say anything the first drop landed on his forehead. 

“Nier! It’s starting to rain!” 

“What?” 

Damn it. Emil should have known by the cold breeze that morning that something was in the air. Now here they were, slowly facing the terror of getting absolutely drenched. Neither of them should get sick because of his mistake and there was no way he could lead Nier back to the village before they were soaked. 

Unless...

Emil felt his heart drop at the idea. It was dangerous, way too dangerous. If he were to follow through with it it was like taunting the odds. 

But he trusted Nier… All he would have to do was be careful and have Sebastian watch over the villager… he could do it. 

“Come on! I know a place we can stay at! Hurry, before it gets worse!”

Emil hoped that he was making the right decision.

Chapter Text

The wooden doors to the manor slammed shut behind them and Emil leaned against one as he tried to catch his breath. Running through the forest was apparently a whole lot different from navigating the familiar path and Emil had found himself more often than not slipping and stumbling. He could hear the heavy rain hitting the stone road outside the manor and while he and Nier had gotten quite wet he knew that they had barely managed to escape the worst of it. Speaking of Nier. 

Judging by the heavy panting the boy next to him wasn’t in a much better state. The rain had soaked his blindfold and Emil kept his eyes firmly shut but he could just imagine what Nier must have looked like. His voice, his grip and the weight to his footsteps had given Emil some sort of idea of the other’s appearance. And all that Emil had to add to it was wet clothes, clinging hair and a pissed expression. 

A snort escaped him. Then a chuckle. And before Emil knew what was happening he was already laughing. Heck, all of this was surreal. For years now he had been living by himself safe for the few visits of Kainé and now here he was, inviting a practical stranger into his home and hideout. There were so many variables here that could give him away. The statues in the courtyard, the huge manor inhabited by a boy who had not yet scratched adulthood. This had probably been the worst decision Emil had ever made but the fear of the unknown also thrilled him, to an extent. For too many years now his life had been the same. Day after day, month after month. His routine had never changed. But since he had met Nier his life had been turned onto its head. It was exciting. Scary as heck, but exciting nonetheless. 

Soon enough did another voice join his laughter. Emil almost felt mad, confused as to why he found it so incredibly funny. But the stress, the fear and the tension left him as he simply enjoyed laughing with his friend. Only when he was out of breath and his sides began to hurt did Emil finally manage to stop. 

“So… Where are we, exactly?” Nier asked, sounding as exhausted as Emil felt. Some of his anxiety returned but Emil decided to push through it. There was no going back now. 

“Home. This is where I live.” he explained, pushing himself off the door. There was some fluttering at a nearby window that he kept always open and Emil found comfort in Sebastian’s presence. 

“This manor has been empty for a long time now. People call it the haunted mansion, if I remember correctly. Rumors say that it’s all spooky here and that some things aren’t quite right. No one dares to come close because of the weird warning looming over this building. They say this place brings bad luck…” Emil gestured around, walking backwards as if to show off the main hall. “After my parents died my sister and I were by ourselves. We found refuge here around the time the forest began to grow. And since then we have been pretty unbothered.” He shrugged his shoulders, not quite sure what else to say. “The garden is big enough for me to grow vegetables, a water source isn’t far away and I don’t have to worry about anyone finding us here... The only downside is the loneliness, I guess. You don’t really get any visits from a postman, you know?” 

Attempting to smile, Emil could only guess how fake it looked. He cleared his throat and began to fiddle around with his drenched scarf. “Come on. I will show you where the kitchen is. If it’s no trouble then I would like to ask you to prepare some hot water for tea. It’s best if we warm up quickly. In the meantime I will grab some blankets.”

He listened to the shuffling as Nier stepped further into the room. Emil felt his heart racing as the villager walked past him, probably to take in the new location. From what he remembered the houses in the other towns looked vastly different and a lot of what Nier was seeing here must have been foreign. It was like they were from completely different worlds, in a way. Emil counted his heartbeats until Nier finally spoke up. 

“It’s… kinda creepy.” Nier said and Emil found himself snorting in relief. He quickly covered his mouth and nose though that warm laughter was like music to his ears. 

“Don’t judge me! You’re lucky you can’t see because I’m telling you, this place is definitely haunted. Cobwebs, weird paintings and all that dust. Straight from a horror story.” 

Emil could make out a teasing tone and decided to join in, not allowing Nier to have the upperhand in his argument. “Now it just sounds like you’re insulting my cleaning schedule. I’ll have you know that I put great care into looking after my home, thank you very much.” 

“Of course, with that blindfold you don’t have to look far anyway.” Nier shot back, leaving Emil stunned for just a moment. They were both quiet, clearly waiting for a reaction from him. He could almost hear Nier holding his breath. Had the other overstepped a line? 

No, Emil decided. No, he actually loved it. He wanted to make fun of his stupid situation, he wanted Nier to not see it as a burden but just a part of him. Emil wanted Nier to display his situation as something light-hearted. 

“That’s it, sir Nier. You come into my house after I oh so kindly offered you some shelter and you dare to disrespect not only me but the carefully cultivated cobwebs? Those ghosts and undead people here have worked hard to create the ambience.” He started to grin, rocking back and forth with the amusement he was feeling. Sebastian cawed and soon landed on his shoulder, clearly underlining the supernatural aspects of their dear home. 

“Is that so? Then they have to try harder than that to scare me. I’ve seen the tavern after Popola had a drink too much, I know what true terror looks like.” Nier replied with a challenging tone. Emil wanted to continue their little game, he really did, but when he heard that name a cold shiver ran down his spine. He wrapped his arms around his waist and even though they were bandaged he still shut his eyes tightly. That weakness he distasted so much returned like a slap to the face and his pathetic state must have been obvious. Emil wasn’t sure when he had moved but Nier stood next to him, the presence of a hand hovering close to his back. Emil could feel some warmth seeping through his wet clothes. 

“Woah there, you okay? Did I overstep a line? You look awfully pale, Emil.” 

Forcing a smile, Emil shook his head. “The cold air is starting to get through my wet clothes. We should hurry before we catch a cold.” 

Nier’s silence made him wonder whether the other was furrowing his brows in suspicion but a soft voice caught up to him. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Lead the way.” 

And leading he did. Emil navigated the familiar hallways, bypassing a room or two before making it to the kitchen. He didn’t have to say anything as Nier gently pushed himself past him and into the room. For a moment Emil considered explaining where everything was but he stopped himself from saying anything. The longer Nier would take to find everything the more time Emil would have to get through the manor. He couldn’t leave Nier alone for long. 

“Hey, Emil?” Nier said from somewhere on the far end of the kitchen. The boy in question hummed, not quite wanting to speak up. 

“I can’t imagine how difficult this decision was but… But I want to thank you for trusting me enough with this. You have my word that I won’t tell a soul about this place. I will keep your secrets safe.”

Whatever cold Emil might have felt from his soaking clothes numbed away as the warmth within his chest became prominent. He listened to Nier’s even breathing, to the way the other shifted his weight in embarrassment and in that moment Emil wished he could be honest. 

“Thanks, Nier.” was all he could muster. He left the kitchen and walked back towards one of the living-rooms. With his hand on the wall and Sebastian on his shoulder, Emil hurriedly made his way through the different locations in order to reach the many bedrooms. Whether he was running towards the warmth of the blankets or away from the grip of a cold lie, he couldn’t tell. Nier’s words clashed with the overwhelming guilt he felt for not being truthful and Emil began to choke on his sobs. His fingers clawed at the dirty blindfold until he could tear it off, abandoning it on the floor. Blurry eyes opened just a little bit, enough for him to wipe away the tears. 

Was he a terrible person? Was he in the wrong for not telling Nier? Emil wanted to believe that he was protecting his friend but maybe that was just the selfishness excusing his behavior. 

Emil wanted a friend. He wanted Nier to be his friend. 

He didn’t want to be alone anymore. 

Reaching one of the guest bedrooms, Emil stumbled over to the sink. He turned it on and hissed as cold water hit his face. He splashed it several times and clung to the ceramic as his breathing calmed down.

For a change Emil was glad he couldn’t look into the mirror. He didn’t want to see what a mess he had become. 

He blindly reached for a nearby towel and cleaned himself up. Only once Emil was sure that he had his emotions bottled up did he begin to cover his eyes again. After all, he didn’t want to cry. It left him feeling icky and his skin would start to itch underneath the bandage. 

It was several minutes later when Emil returned with two thick blankets. He pushed the door open with his leg, balancing on a single foot but he didn’t have to struggle for long when some weight was removed from his arms. A relieved smile lingered on his lips and Emil mumbled his thanks before he found a chair to sit on. The blanket was wrapped tightly around him until only his head peeked out and judging by the way Nier exhaled it was probably an amusing sight. Something was placed onto the table in front of him and after Emil successfully wiggled his hand free he found it to be a hot cup. 

“It must be quite lonely.” Nier mumbled from the other end of the table. Emil cocked his head though there was no need for him to ask. The other was already continuing. 

“I mean, I know you got your sister but… This is such a huge place. Do you even know what to do with all those empty rooms?” 

Emil smiled though it didn’t reach his hidden eyes. He grabbed the cup and took a small sip. “Not really. I have a few rooms I like to use. The kitchen, bathroom, study room, library and my bedroom. The rest is pretty much untouched. I don’t have a lot of personal belongings and it can get quite tiring navigating through this place. I usually have all my rooms in one small area.” 

Nier hummed and together they warmed up. Emil could sense something in the air though he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He couldn’t read Nier as well as Kainé but then again his friend wore her heart on her odd arm warmers. She could seem rude and violent on the outside but Emil knew exactly who she truly was. But Nier? Nier felt a lot more reserved. He was quite composed and didn’t seem to allow anything to touch him. If Emil had to describe Nier he would probably use the word defensive. Though he couldn’t hold it against the villager. They both were struggling with similar responsibilities and fears, after all.

“Say, Emil…” Nier sounded guarded, as if he was struggling for words. The boy in question put his cup back down and pulled his arm under the blanket. His fingers began to fidget. 

“Do you know anything about the creature that is living in these woods? The one that can petrify people?”

There it was. The question he had been dreading. In a way Emil knew that it had been long coming. And really, it was a testament to Nier’s friendship that he had waited this long with his curiosity. Though his heart was racing, Emil forced himself to stay relaxed. This wasn’t the first time he had to act naive and innocently. He could do it. He had to. 

“Not a lot, unfortunately. I know that it exists… And I know that it's a danger to travellers, correct? Its roar can be heard on some days but I have never encountered any hostile animals in these woods.” That little bit was true, at least. It was easier to weave lies with half truths. 

“Maybe the manor is scaring it enough to stay away. Or maybe I’m not enough meat or a challenge for it to approach. Regardless of the reason, I fear I can’t offer you much information.” Emil hesitated for a moment. “I did… I did find a few of its statues though. At least I think they were some. Their surface felt exactly like those of rocks but their form felt human. The next time I went to investigate they were gone. I wasn’t that interested in finding out who had taken them so… So I didn’t push the matter.” Just a little bit more. “P-Please stay away from those rumors, Nier. Whatever that thing is, it should probably be left alone. I don’t want you to get involved in something that dangerous. And I don’t want you to get hurt… Please don’t do anything reckless.”

There. Not quite the most eloquent way to tell someone to stay away from matters but Emil couldn’t think of a better way to formulate it. He was concerned. He really was. Nier didn’t have to be dragged into all of this and Emil didn’t want to be forced to decide if push came to shove. 

He would never be capable of hurting Nier. 

The villager huffed though when he spoke up Emil couldn’t make out any malicious tone. 

“What, don’t you trust me with some self preservation? What have I done to earn such doubt and concern?” 

A weight lifted off his chest and Emil found himself breathing easier. “Well, for one you entered the forest. And secondly, you came back for no important reason.”

“Checking in on a friend is super important so you can cross that argument off your list. That leaves only one stupid thing I have done so far. Pretty good quota if you ask me.” Nier replied without missing a beat. Emil couldn’t deny the warmth he felt at being called a friend. The other would never know just how much these words meant to him.

“I bet you did something reckless while you weren’t risking your life in this forest. You don’t seem like the type to first think and then act.” 

Emil’s response earned him a chuckle and a chair squeaked as Nier probably leaned forward. “You know, you sound like every single villager from my home.”

The following conversation remained light-hearted and Emil tuned out the stormy weather outside those walls. Nothing in that moment mattered. Not the statues hidden away in his courtyard. Not the next petrification that would eventually happen.

All Emil focused on was their conversation, their laughter, and the freeing feeling of being normal. He would pretend for just a little while longer. 

And he would make sure to engrave every minute into his heart.

Chapter Text

The manor was beginning to grow on him. More like a mushroom on a tree but growing anyway. It was a difficult relationship but after the initial creepy atmosphere had settled Nier guessed that it wasn’t all that shabby. 

Emil’s presence was probably the reason for this. 

It was an odd contrast for sure. Nier had pretty much expected anything for Emil’s home. An abandoned shack, maybe a wooden little cabin. But a manor? That was most likely haunted? If anyone had tried to tell him that someone as sweet as Emil was living in a horror place like this Nier would have laughed. 

He laughed anyway. 

The blanket and tea had helped warm him up. While the chill of the rain still lingered in his bones, Nier knew that thanks to Emil’s efforts neither of them would probably catch a cold. After they had finished their cups and smalltalk Emil had offered to show him around and Nier had eagerly agreed. Sure, the place was creepy as fuck but there was something intriguing about it. About Emil.

As expected, Nier hadn’t gotten any information about that mysterious creature. It hadn’t been a surprise though. He and Weiss had planned to find out as much as they could in order to dissect its magic but where should he even begin? He had neither found a statue to take some examples from nor anything else that could lead him into the right direction. And while Nier did question Emil’s honesty he also didn’t wish to push it. Someone like Emil probably had his reasons to keep information to himself and whatever he was hiding, Nier doubted it was harmful. 

“And this is the study room.” Emil explained. They must have been close to the end of their little tour as Nier had seen most of the manor by now. They hadn’t gone upstairs as that was apparently where Emil’s sick sister resided though Nier understood the wish to keep her away from any possible stress. 

Walking into the room, Nier first noticed the odd looking furniture in the middle of the place. It was like nothing he had seen before. He fully entered and walked over, hesitantly running his hand over its surface. It felt smooth and cold, and now that Nier was closer he could see white and black pieces on one side. 

“Are you interested in the piano?” Emil asked from behind him. He looked over his shoulder towards the boy before returning his attention to the item.

“A piano? What’s that?” he asked curiously. His friend walked up and around him before sitting down on a chair he hadn’t noticed before. Emil pushed down one of the white pieces and to his surprise a music tone rang through the room. 

“It’s an instrument. Every key that you see here plays a different note. It can be confusing at first but with enough practice you can play really nice songs on it!” 

Emil sounded excited and Nier couldn’t help but share in on it. He had never seen an instrument like this before but the single note that had been played had intrigued him. Nier wasn’t musically talented but he always adored listening to Devola singing and playing. 

“Do you… can you play it?” he found himself wondering. In response Emil simply began to move on the flat chair, making some room in an open invitation. Nier hesitated but finally decided to take a seat next to the boy. He could feel Emil’s warmth and this close see every little detail. The wet hair clinging to his forehead, the rosy cheeks and the embarrassed smile. 

Not for the first time Nier wondered what color Emil’s eyes were. 

For a moment it seemed like Emil wanted to say something. His mouth opened but shut just as quickly. Instead, Nier watched as his friend began to place his hands on the white keys. And when the first few notes were played he held his breath.

Never in his life had he heard something like this. It was slow, sad and somehow melancholic. How Emil could play so many notes at the same time was beyond him and wide blue stared as fingers moved over the piano like they had never done anything else. Emil played unseeing and yet it felt like Nier was the blind one. The song that played was pressing down on his chest. It seemed to bear an eternal pain and sadness. A desperation that was left untold. 

Nier hadn’t noticed the tear running down his face until it fell onto his hand. 

Shocked, Nier flinched away. He stared over towards Emil but it seemed like the boy was lost in his own world. His body moved with the music and Nier realized that the loneliness he felt was not just coming from the song. It was Emil who was pouring his heart into these notes, it was him who gave meaning to a melody he had never heard before. It sounded practiced, almost internalized and Nier once again wondered just what Emil had been forced to go through before they had met. 

The final note was held and Nier sat in silence as it slowly died out in the room. Emil exhaled and it seemed like his friend was as emotional as he was. Pale hands lifted from the keys and for a moment they simply sat next to each other. 

“Sacrifice.” Emil finally said and Nier could do little but make a questioning sound. He couldn’t yet speak around the lump in his throat. 

“The name of the song. It’s Sacrifice. I found the music sheets when we first moved in. The text is in a foreign language that I can’t understand but… But I think I figured out what the song is more or less about… Apparently a former master of this manor composed them.” Emil’s smile spoke of fondness as a hand returned to the keys. He didn’t play anything, rather it looked like he found comfort in the presence of the instrument. 

“It’s beautiful.” Nier said and he was sure that Emil heard how choked up he truly was. Yet neither of them voiced those emotions. There was no need to. In that moment, they both felt their own sadness. The burden of their responsibilities. 

But they weren’t alone. 

“Thank you…” Emil instead said. The boy was smiling and Nier’s eyes softened. “W-Would you like me to play something else? There is a song my best friend really likes! It’s called Salvation. I’m not that good yet but I practice whenever I can!”

Cocking his head, Nier readjusted his seat. He studied Emil’s excitement and it was clear that this music was dear to his heart. Seeing the boy this excited was enough reason to agree. 

“I’d like to hear it.” 

That was all the permission Emil needed. The boy nodded and shook his hands before placing them back down onto the piano. He exhaled deeply and the former excitement was replaced by a centered calmness. The melody started slow, soft even and Nier began to wonder what kind of person Emil’s friend was if this was the song associated with them. For now he placed his hands into his lap and listened quietly as Emil created a new world for them to dive in. 

And as he listened to Emil’s music, Nier began to close his eyes. This was how Emil perceived the world. There were no sights to distract him, nothing he could rely on rather than the senses that most of them had forgotten about in their everyday lives. Without his eyes Nier focused more onto his ears and he could hear a faint sound as Emil moved his foot on a pedal in time with some unknown cues. He could feel Emil moving next to him, the back and forth and the rhythmic swinging. The smell of heavy rain from outside the windows mixed with the dust from old times. 

This was Emil’s perception. His world. 

When the song came to an end, Nier opened his eyes. An idea had blossomed in his head and hesitantly he removed the gloves he usually wore. He put them onto the piano and took a deep breath to calm his nerves. 

“Hey, Emil? Don’t get startled.” was all the warning he gave before taking Emil’s hands. His own were trembling but Nier did his best to push away those unpleasant memories. This was Emil, after all. And he trusted him.

The smaller boy made a questioning sound but Nier pulled through with it before he could change his mind. Emil’s fingertips were cold as he placed them onto his cheeks. His own hands wrapped around Emil’s wrists, a gentle hold in case the other wished to break free.

“My skin is pale.” he began to explain as a shiver ran down his spine. It seemed like Emil had caught on and not long after did the hands begin to move by themselves. Nier could feel Emil’s hesitation as the other was careful in his exploration. “My nose is probably on the smaller side.” Nier continued. His breath hitched as a thumb rubbed over his cheek. “My eyes are blue. A lighter shade, I guess. Yonah once compared them to a cloudless sky but I’m not too sure about that.” 

It took Nier everything he had not to flinch away when Emil reached higher. His heart hammered too loudly in his chest and the villager exhaled sharply as unpleasant memories threatened to bury him alive. 

But Emil was gentle. Kind. And somehow way more perceptive than Nier gave him credit for. Cold fingers brushed some of his bangs away though there was no intention to reach further into his hair. There was no rough pulling, no steel grip and no attempt at loosening his tied hair. 

“My… My hair is white. I used to wear it open but… stuff happened. I mostly keep it tied back nowadays.” 

Emil cocked his head, clearly sensing that there was more to his story, though there was no pushing on his side. They both had their secrets and it seemed like they were okay with it. Emil’s fingers returned to explore more of his face and Nier did notice how the other put extra care into not getting closer to his hair. 

It made him feel warm.

“Your skin… it’s smooth. With the dangerous jobs you do I expected scars but you must be super strong. Your face feels a bit rounder than I imagined but it suits you.” Fingertips moved over his brows and Nier closed his eyes as the same fingers hovered over them. “A bright blue, huh?” Emil seemed to say more to himself than Nier. They were sitting close enough that he could feel the smaller boy’s breath on his face and Nier wondered whether his heart was still racing because of those memories or if something else was getting to him. His hold on Emil’s wrists disappeared and Nier dutifully answered any more questions about his appearance. 

“Close your eyes.” Emil eventually ordered and to his own surprise Nier did so immediately. His skin began to burn when the other took his hand and Nier’s breath hitched when soon his fingers touched colder skin. Their roles had been reserved and though he could look at Emil’s face whenever he wanted to, there was a level of trust and intimacy to exploring with just the ability of touch. He wasn’t as delicate with his fingers as Emil was though and the other’s chuckle was evidence enough. The boy giggled as Nier accidentally got stuck in the blindfold and he quickly mumbled an apology. His hands weren’t made to handle delicate things. He wielded swords and carried heavy crates while Emil was out here looking after plants and playing beautiful music. They were opposites. 

Coming to a halt, Nier simply held Emil’s face. His thumbs absently brushed over perfect skin and he could feel the other echoing his movements on his wrists. He wondered if he should say something. Anything. No one had ever been allowed to be this close to him, let alone touch him in such an intimate manner. The one person that had ever come close to him was no longer alive and not a day had passed where Nier had regretted ending it. But this was different. The touch he was experiencing was a lot gentler. Undemanding. There was no hidden intention behind Emil holding him. 

“Nier?” 

A soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts and Nier opened his eyes to look at his friend. Those pale cheeks were a rosy color and Nier hadn’t realized just how close they had gotten. A part of him wondered whether he should pull his hands away but it didn’t feel necessary. The moment between them hadn’t been broken yet. 

“What is it?” he whispered. There was no need to speak up. They were close enough to hear each other’s breathing. 

“Do you believe that someone who is doing bad things for a good reason is a bad person?” 

Well, that caught him off guard. He stared at Emil, uncomprehending, but the tension in the other’s body was undeniable. Whatever this question was relating to might have been unknown to him though to Emil it seemed to mean the world. Nier took a moment to think about the question. 

“I think…” He began. “I think that this universe is uncaring. That it doesn’t differentiate between punishing good and bad people. Young children grow sick and die while disgusting adults live long enough to die of old age…” 

Nier’s thumb began to move again and he carefully squeezed Emil’s face. “I think that a lot of people don’t care about you or me or anyone else. So if you have a reason why you are doing something others might consider bad… And you fully stand behind it… Then I wouldn’t fault you for it.”

He pulled Emil closer until he could rest their foreheads together. His blue eyes were closed and he felt the boy’s trembling breath on his lips. “I’m not a good person, Emil. I did bad things. Horrible things. But I did them for my sister. No matter how disgusting or sinful, I know not to look back. I will fight and I will continue until I have helped her. Because I will protect those close to me with all my might.”

Emil’s hold on his wrists tightened and Nier recognized familiar sobs. After all, he too had cried back when it had first started. 

“I don’t know what you might have done, Emil, but I know that you are not a bad person. I’m here for you, no matter what. So don’t look back. Ever. Whatever is dear enough for you to fight, hold onto it. Everything else doesn’t matter.” 

And when Emil started to sob, Nier pulled him against his chest. The small body was trembling and there wasn’t much he could do but stay right where he was and allow Emil to get through whatever sadness he was feeling. His friend was clinging to his chest and his head was buried against Nier’s shoulder. 

The rain outside the windows started to lessen but Nier had no intention to leave just yet. He could stay just a little longer.

Chapter Text

It had been two weeks now since that rainy day. Nier had found himself returning more and more often to the forest, even declining the odd quest or two that would have taken him to Seafront for several days. He still accepted as many jobs as he could and sometimes he woke up earlier than anyone else in order to get more done. And whenever he would return to the forest he would quickly be found by Sebastian and taken to Emil.

Emil had made it his personal quest to make up for the time Nier was spending with him. Every time Nier would visit him Emil would have a new location for them to visit. Nier would return home with his bags full of rare materials, sometimes even with a handful of copper and iron ores. Thanks to Emil’s care Nier could make enough money while taking on less work. And that in return meant he could offer Yonah better food and be out just a little bit longer. 

His days were still busy, of course. Nier would find himself exhausted and spent after some of them and when he even had the energy to visit Emil, his friend would either take him to the flower field or to his home. Since Nier had first been to the manor, Emil had grown just a bit bolder. The smaller boy seemed more comfortable having Nier in his home and the villager in return got to listen to more music. Days where he would be simply laying on the carpet while Emil was playing one of his songs were some of the most peaceful he had experienced in a long while. Whenever he was in the forest and with Emil Nier felt like he could exhale. It was easy to push aside the worries and responsibilities from his life in the village when he was in a completely new world. Emil allowed him to be himself without any expectations. 

A book being slammed onto the ground in front of him scared the crap out of him. Nier sat upright immediately, his eyes wide and bewildered. Weiss’ amused chuckle quickly reached him and the boy changed his expression from surprised to pissed. 

“A simple hello would have done it, you know?” Nier grumbled before pulling the book closer. Why Weiss was making him research as well was beyond him. He barely understood any of the complicated terms used in pretty much every text he had been forced to read. 

“My, where would have been the fun in that? It appeared you were far away with your thoughts and I did not wish to intrude on such a dreamy expression you had displayed.” 

Crossing his legs, Nier rested his chin on his hand. It was just another sunny morning and they were meeting on top of the hill, overseeing the northern gates. It had become their regular meeting spot. 

“I had no such look, shut up.” Nier mumbled through his fingers. With an exaggerated sigh he opened the book to whatever page he had last left it on. While Weiss made him comb through myths and legends from the old world, the other was looking through documents and reports that apparently were off limits for commoners like him. Weiss had made it quite clear that Nier wasn’t allowed to look through those authorized papers. 

To be quite honest, Nier was just fine with that. 

“Hey, Weiss?” he hesitantly spoke up after minutes of silence. The young man made a questioning sound but didn’t look up from whatever he was looking through. Good. That would make it easier. 

“What do you think would happen if we found out what that thing was? Would we tell the villagers? And if so, would they take it down?” 

These were questions that had been bothering him for a while. While he still wanted to find that creature and put an end to it, there had also been some doubts starting to grow within him. Nier awaited an answer, biting his lip. 

“I would believe so. A powerful being such as this individual should under no instances be left unsupervised and free if we do have the means to stop it. The village cannot endure any more losses and the separation of families is just as painful to watch. Besides, once the animal would be gone there would be no reason for us to fear the forest anymore. Its resources would finally become available and allow us to once again return to our former quality in weapons and agriculture.”

He could feel Weiss’ narrowed eyes on him though the man kept his tongue. Good. Nier didn’t want to explain the way his heart dropped. Logically, he knew that Weiss was right. That thing had to leave, one way or another. But if that animal were to be taken care of, it would open the forest for everyone. And that would mean that it would only be a matter of time before someone would find Emil’s manor. Nier had seen the furniture inside. Under all that dust had been some incredibly rare and valuable materials. If the wrong people were to find him and his home they would take it apart, destroying everything. And in the worst scenario they would even hurt Emil or his sister. 

The monster was killing people. And yet it was also protecting Emil, in a way. Nier could feel a familiar apathy towards the current victims. The father who had spent most of his time being drunk and using his children for thievery. The woman who had endless lovers whom she dropped after taking everything from them. The young guy who had raised his prices until the elderly had died of malnutrition. To say that Nier felt sorry for their petrified death would have been a lie. He had seen the terrors and he had wanted to feel hatred towards the thing… But the longer he thought about everything the more he came to appreciate the creature. It got rid of the scum and its mere existence protected a defenseless boy. 

Maybe this had become the reason as to why Nier was sabotaging their research so much. Sure, he had been the one to approach Weiss but at this time it felt like it was the other who was truly searching for answers. Weiss had expressed his desire to find the source of such ancient magic and while Nier still wanted to help him, he didn’t want to hold the door open for others to invade Emil’s home. 

It was a difficult situation. 

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right.” Nier said a bit belatedly. He was holding onto the next page, slightly fiddling around with it when Weiss reached down. The book was pulled away from him before he could react and Nier released a hiss when he felt a sudden pain in his finger. A quick look revealed a paper cut of all things and the boy already began to hate how this morning had started off. 

“Oh goodness, I’m terribly sorry. Wait, here, before it drips onto your clothes.” Weiss offered him a neatly folded handkerchief and after Nier had stared at the unnecessary details on it he wrapped it around his finger. It still hurt slightly and he threw his head back to stare up into the morning sky. He was annoyed with himself. 

“Let’s stop for today, lad. You’ve got your head in the clouds and we won’t get anywhere. There is no use in sitting together in the hot sun if our results will be nothing but nil.” Weiss’ voice was softer. Really, Nier had no clue how the other could read him that easily but in that moment it was appreciated. The frustration with himself would only stand in the way of concentration and before Nier would get to sit around awkwardly he would rather just take his leave and clear his mind.

“I guess you’re right. Sorry, Weiss, I got a lot to think about. You came all the way up here just for nothing.” 

But the young man simply waved off his concerns. “Worry not, lad. One will only burn oneself out with continuous effort. We must take a break every once in a while. And next time, I am certain, we will make up for the lost time.” 

Nier pushed himself up onto his feet and nodded, feeling slightly better. “Thanks, Weiss. You know, you’re not that bad under all those swollen words. I appreciate it.” 

Weiss looked at him with surprise and Nier found it quite amusing that he had managed to stun the man. Before he could walk away though the other stopped him with a polite cough.

“My handkerchief, please?” Weiss asked carefully. Nier stared down at the cloth wrapped around his finger. 

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He unwrapped the handkerchief and found that the wound had stopped its bleeding. With a small sigh he threw it over to Weiss and thanked him again before hurrying down the hill to his home. 

Nier never looked back though he couldn’t brush off the sudden feeling in his chest. Like he had just made a mistake. 

The tavern was mostly empty when Nier entered. The expected regulars were around though other than that it was just like every other day. Soft music played from the back and Nier nodded towards the barkeeper before making his way over to Devola. Her beautiful voice filled the room and as always Nier found himself hesitating. After all, him talking to her would destroy the moment. 

“Good morning, Devola.” Nier finally said. The voice came to a halt but her skilled fingers continued to pull at the strings. 

“Morning, Nier. You’re up early again. Are you planning on waving the supply group off or are you just eager for jobs?” Devola asked with a teasing smile. She always had a long list with clients at the ready, seemingly remembering them just for him. And usually Nier would have asked for them all but something else had caught his attention.

“Supply group?” the boy uselessly repeated. A cold shiver ran down his spine though he hoped it could be brushed off as surprise and not shock. Devola, seemingly oblivious of his sudden tension, simply smiled and nodded before her attention moved to her guitar. 

“Oh, didn’t Popola tell you? Anyway, we found two men who were willing to go out and bring back materials for medicine. It was so kind of them, they pretty much volunteered.” 

Nier’s ears began to ring with the rushing of his blood and his hands turned sweaty underneath the gloves. “Really? That’s… great! Who is it? They must be pretty tough if they wanna go out there this soon.” 

Devola stopped her playing for a moment in order to tap her chin. Her eyes narrowed and while usually it would be an endearing sight, this time Nier could only impatiently wait for her to remember.

“I think… It was one of the guards from the Eastern Gates. And the travelling merchant from Seafront who has been staying for a while. The one who sells clothes, if I’m not mistaken.”

Whatever Devola was saying afterwards went straight over his head. His mind was racing and he simply waited until she was done before thanking her impatiently. She said something about a new job but Nier had already turned on his heel, pushing the door to the tavern open. 

Every thought he had revolved around one name and one name only. 

Emil.

Chapter Text

Nier didn’t know when the forest had stopped scaring him. He remembered the hesitation from just weeks ago, remembered how careful and quiet he had been when he had checked every tree twice. The stories and rumors had painted a picture of a living graveyard but when had he stopped believing those words? When had he seen the forest as what it had been — a collection of trees, protecting someone he had grown attached to. 

Nier didn’t know when the forest had stopped scaring him but he was thankful for the lack of hesitation as he ran through it. He jumped over smaller rocks and trunks that had become his wayfinders, pushed past passages with thickly grown trees as if he was simply dodging people. The voidless atmosphere of the woods that had usually been signaled by its lack of time and sound was now interrupted by his heavy panting and footsteps. 

He knew why he was panicking. Didn’t mean he could stop himself though. 

Rumors were inevitable in a small village like his. Everyone knew everyone and even unspoken secrets somehow made their rounds. It was difficult to be completely closed off to such a tightly knitted community. This was also the reason why Nier knew about the guard whose wife had started to wear more clothes. He had seen her carefully wrapped arms and legs. 

And he had also seen the colors of purple and blue. 

The merchant, on the other hand, was well liked by the village. A stranger from Seafront who would hand out seashells to the kids and funny one liner to the adults. Nier had initially liked him. That was, until he himself had travelled to the Seafront and had mentioned the young man’s name. The way the shopkeeper’s face had dropped was still engraved into his mind. Apparently, this kind and perfect merchant had gotten the honor of selling only the best quality of clothes after he had visited a home or two in the poorer area of the town. 

It must have taken him weeks to fully get rid of the red in the clothes. 

Nier had known for a while now that the groups sent into this forest had been the scum of their village. He had come to doubt that it had been solely a coincidence though at that moment he couldn’t focus on figuring it out. All the boy could focus on were the possible outcomes if those guys found Emil.

A part of him wished that the monster would find them first. 

Coming to a sudden stop, Nier forced his breathing to slow down. He could hear barking laughter from somewhere to his left and he ducked down, slowly approaching the sounds that disturbed his worst fears. 

Two figures were walking through the forest without a care in the world. They were laughing, about what though Nier wasn’t sure. What he did notice, however, were the weapons on their backs. The guard was carrying around a heavy broadsword while the merchant had armed himself with a spear. 

Combat should be avoided at all costs, Nier decided. 

Heck, he wasn’t even sure why he had come here. This wasn’t the first supply group and it wouldn’t be the last one. Sure, those guys were assholes but no one had ever found Emil so why was he this tense? 

Maybe because along the way he had started to care too much. 

Now that he had found them it was ridiculously easy to follow at a safe distance. Nier kept to the trees and thanks to their sizes his small frame was covered well enough. It was only an added bonus that these two didn’t seem to care at all. They were talking loudly about their lives, their goals and what they would do with the easy coins gained from this oh so scary mission. Neither of them seemed to believe or care about the rumors and Nier wondered whether they were confident or stupid. Probably both, he eventually decided. 

Minutes could have passed. Or hours, Nier wasn’t sure at this time. All he knew was that the annoying sound of their voices eventually were drowned out when he heard something else. Something a lot more familiar. His head shot up and wide blue scanned the sky and trees when the echo of a crow reached his ears. 

Sebastian was flying not too far away. The bird cawed again and if there had been any doubt in Nier’s mind that the men hadn’t heard the crow before, it was gone. He could see them point towards the direction and just as he had feared, they began to head straight to where Sebastian had disappeared. 

Blood rushed into his ears as Nier followed the men. He wanted to run past them, wanted to find Emil and drag him away but if he made any unnecessary sounds they would spot him immediately. The boy forced himself to stay behind, all the while hoping for the best. 

The universe didn’t give him a break. 

His hope shattered with the sight of the manor. Grey walls crashed with the surrounding green and the stone path slowly began to lead the assholes straight to Emil’s home. Sebastian’s cry could be heard again and Nier started to wonder whether the bird had lost it. As a pet that had been called a protector by its master this bird seriously wanted Emil to be found. 

“Shh, it’s okay, Sebastian. Calm down, everything is okay. What got you so worked up?” 

Nier felt his blood freeze when he heard Emil’s faint voice. It was soft. Soothing. Just like the last time they had spoken. Nier reached behind himself to place his hand onto the handle of the sword. He could make out Emil’s small frame in front of the manor. The heavy doors stood wide open alongside some windows and Nier could only guess that the boy had decided to allow some fresh air inside. Just like always he was wearing his blindfold alongside his signature purple clothes. The scarf was loosely wrapped around his middle and a basket with some plants stood off to the side. 

“Is that a kid?” Nier heard one of the guys ask. 

“Forget the child, are you seeing what I’m seeing? What the fuck is a mansion doing here??” the guard replied with growing excitement. He watched as the guy grabbed the merchant’s shoulder, shaking him as if to make sure that this was reality. Everyone could tell by the first glance that a place like this must have had at least some valuable items. 

And it seemed like these two were no exceptions. 

Nier watched as Emil finally noticed the uninvited guests. The smaller boy was taking a step back, holding his hand in front of his chest. Nier wanted nothing more than to run over but for now he would stay hidden. If push came to shove he wanted the surprise on these guys. 

“H-Hello? Uhm... Can I help you? Did you get lost?” 

Sweet, innocent and naive Emil. His heart broke when he heard these words. Of course his friend would offer help to anyone. The boy had no clue that he was in potential danger. 

It was now that the men finally reached the front of the manor. They were just meters away from Emil, the only hindrance between them and treasure. Nier slowly edged closer, his grip on his weapon tightening. 

“Say, kiddo…” The guard began, his voice sickenly sweet. “Where are your parents? It’s dangerous in this forest, didn’t you know? You should run home real quick.” 

Nier had to bite back the disgust. He could see the amused expression as the merchant nudged the guard’s side, clearly teasing him for playing with their prey. The spear was quietly removed from the merchant’s back and Emil cocked his head in confusion. 

“But I am home... And… And I don’t have any parents. It’s just me…” Emil admitted. He was scratching the back of his head and his hand remained on his neck. “Excuse my sudden curiosity but... are you perhaps from the village?” 

“We sure are, kid. And it seems like it’s your lucky day today because you just met us. How about you invite us in and we can talk about getting you a sweet and cozy little home back in town? What you say?”

Nier moved before he knew it. There was no thought behind his action, no plan or escape route organized and ready. One moment he was standing behind a tree and the next he found himself in front of Emil, his blade drawn. He felt bad at pushing Emil behind himself, causing his friend to lose his balance but Nier couldn’t muster up an apology. His throat felt tied up. 

“Who… Wait a sec, you’re that people pleaser. The one with the sick sister.” the guard said, not even bothering to reach for his broadsword. Nier gritted his teeth and his eyes spoke of a deep hatred when he realized that he wasn’t being seen as a threat. To them he was nothing more than a child with a toy. 

“Back off.” Nier growled and there was a gasp behind him. Shuffling followed and soon fingertips pressed against his back. 

“Nier…? What are you doing here?” Emil asked in a whisper. He could hear a growing panic though wasn’t sure as to why. “You have to get away. It’s not safe!” 

In a non threatening situation Nier would have laughed. 

“Yeah, no kidding. Now stay behind me, okay? I got this.” Nier tried to sound reassuring but even to his own ears the words felt fake. In truth, he was terrified. A merchant he could take on but a trained guard? And two at once? Yeah no, he knew his odds were shit. The touch on his back only strengthened as Emil seemingly pushed against him. 

“You don’t get it, you have to leave! Now! I’ll be okay! Please!”

Emil’s words fell on deaf ears. Nier neither abandoned his position nor made any indications of moving. He held his sword with both hands and shuffled until his body was in a stronger position. 

“I know what you two are trying and I’m telling you it won’t work. Return to the village or I will cut you down right here.” Nier growled. The guard finally grabbed his sword though they had not yet taken on a defensive position. Rather, it seemed like they were mockingly entertaining him. 

“Oh, we are so scared. Step out of the way before you get hurt, kid. What you gonna do with that toothpick of yours anyway? Stab us until we stop moving?” the merchant asked, a confident grin on his lips. Nier narrowed his eyes and reached down into his boot, revealing the small dagger he usually had on his person. He threw it at the merchant, barely missing the man as the weapon got stuck in a tree trunk. 

“It wouldn't be the first life I’d take.” Nier admitted. The touch on his back suddenly disappeared but he couldn’t turn around, couldn’t imagine Emil’s disgusted expression. No, Nier didn’t have the luxury to think a single thought before the spear came rushing down on him. 

He had never fought a person in a real fight. There had been countless training fights but not once had he been attacked with the intent to kill. The man he had slayed had been distracted and cocky, and it had been as easy as slaughtering a sheep. But this was different. It was a direct conflict and Nier was at a disadvantage in every aspect. Height, weight, strength and experience. With gritted teeth he had managed to defend himself just before the spear could have cracked his skull open but the difference in power was scaringly obvious. With a grunt he pushed the weapon away and immediately followed suit, trying to catch the merchant off guard with his dexterity. 

If it hadn’t been for the broadsword cutting into the ground before him, just half a second away from actually touching his leg. Nier jumped back in shock and took on a guarded position, his eyes now focused on both men. The guard was pulling his weapon back out of the ground and placed it onto his shoulder like it weighed nothing to him. 

“Fun’s over, kid. Get out of the way and take your little friend with you or we will cut a way through. It’s your decision.”

Nier gritted his teeth, not wanting to back down. If the likes of them managed to get into the manor then Emil’s home would get destroyed. The kitchen with its ridiculously small cups, the bedrooms full of pillows and blankets. And the study room with the piano… He didn’t want to back off. Accepting defeat would mean accepting Emil being left without a home. 

The touch on his back returned but it was weak. He could feel the ghost of fingertips reaching for his shoulder but he still didn’t move.

“Nier. Please. It’s fine. Please just leave. I got this, nothing will happen to me. Please just go.” Emil sounded heartbroken. Pained. Nier didn’t know where the overwhelming amount of sadness came from but hearing his friend on the verge of tears was enough to steel his resolve. 

Reaching for the hand on his shoulder, Nier squeezed it. He knew Emil couldn’t see his smile but it didn’t matter. 

“I told you I’d be there for you. No matter what. Now get into the house, I will call you once this is over.” 

With that being said, Nier pushed the hand away from his shoulder. He screamed loudly as he charged at the merchant in hopes of catching him off guard. From somewhere around him his name was being called but all he focused on was the guy’s stomach. If he could land a single good hit he could take one of them out immediately. It would even out the grounds for a fight and then Nier would have to hope that his speed and smaller frame would make up for his inexperience. 

The universe, however, seemed to have other plans. 

His attack was parried way too easily. No matter how often he smashed his sword against the spear, searching for a weakness or an opening or just anything he would always be met with resistance and a perfectly timed guard or dodge. At times he would barely be able to avoid being gutted himself and while his stamina was on the better side there was no way he could hold out long enough to fight two of them. Sweat ran down his neck and Nier cried out when pain suddenly exploded in his leg. 

The spear tip had managed to drill itself into his upper leg, causing Nier to lose his balance. He fell onto his knee, wound clutched but there was no time to react or truly comprehend what was happening. A voice screamed behind him but all Nier could focus on was the merchant hovering over him, the spear directly pointed at him. 

“See ya, kid. Nice try though.” the man spoke and Nier closed his eyes the moment the weapon was coming down for his stomach. That was it then. He had failed. His carelessness and pride had led to his demise and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself. Who would be taking care of Yonah when he was gone? What would they do to Emil the second his body would be kicked out of the way? Stupid. He had been so freaking stupid and reckless. And now Nier would have to pay the price.

If it hadn’t been for the sound of stone cracking.

The merchant began to scream and when no pain followed Nier hesitantly opened his eyes. The man was still standing in front of him, spear just inches away from his chest but no matter how hard the merchant tried, there was no way he could break free from the cracking stone that was creeping up his arms and legs. The guy was staring at something behind him, his eyes wide in terror.

“Stop! Stop it! You freak, stop it!” he screamed, though moments later he was nothing but a stone statue, his eyes and mouth open in an eternal cry.

“Enough!” Emil cried out from somewhere behind him. “I don’t care if you try to hurt me but don’t hurt Nier! He’s my friend and I will protect him!”

Turning around, Nier couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Emil stood with the back to him, shielding him from the guard with the heavy sword. To his feet lay the blindfold and all Nier could make out was some faint glowing coming from his friend. He didn’t understand what was happening but just like the merchant before the guard began to turn into stone. Magic clawed at the man’s legs and though he tried his best to kick it away or back off, Nier could see the struggle in muscles as the guard remained where he was. The grey magic wrapped around the guard’s waist, securing him in place before his arms were the next to go. Wide and scared eyes stared at Emil and Nier recognized the expression. 

“You… You’re the monst…” 

It was the same expression worn by the statue he had found buried underneath a pile of leaves. 

The cracking of stone disappeared alongside the threat. The two boys were left in silence, their heavy breathing the only noise cutting through the air. Nier could do little but stare at the back of his friend. Emotions and thoughts washed over him, threatening to overwhelm him and yet he couldn’t voice any of them. Was there even anything that could be said?

Emil was the first to move. The smaller boy fell onto his knees and began to cry. One of his hands was firmly pressed against his face while the other began to frantically search the dirt for something. Sobs and hiccups shook his tiny frame as he touched the ground, his fingers scraping over stones. 

Nier’s emotions began to settle, his thoughts organizing themselves. He had made a decision. 

Pushing himself onto his healthy leg, Nier limped over to his friend. Emil visibly flinched at the sound and backed away, one hand still firmly placed over his eyes. The sight was heartbreaking. There was no monster in front of Nier. No creature that killed and slaughtered lives for fun. All that was in front of him was a scared boy who was terrified of him. 

“Emil.”

Once again the other flinched away. With a painful grunt Nier leaned down and picked up what the other had been searching for. He took another step forward and before Emil could back away again, he took the other’s hand into his own. 

“Thank you.” Nier whispered as he placed the blindfold into a trembling hand. “For saving me.” 

And just like before, Emil collapsed into his arms. Fingers clung to his chest and tears drenched his shirt but Nier didn’t care. The extra weight pushed down onto his injured leg, sending up sparks of pain but Nier didn’t care. 

Wrapping his arms around Emil’s body, Nier closed his eyes as he rested his chin on top of the other’s head. 

“I told you… I’m here for you. No matter what.”

Chapter Text

Sitting on a chair in the manor’s kitchen, Nier watched as Emil kneeled down in front of him. They had already cut his pants leg open in order to get a better look at the wound but it was almost amusing just how clumsy his friend was. Why Emil thought he would be better at bandaging a wound he couldn’t see than the guy with the actual non threatening eyes was beyond him but he appreciated the effort and enthusiasm. 

Nier gently took the bottle of alcohol from Emil’s trembling hold and before his friend could complain, placed a hand on the other's cheek. 

“Emil, I know you want to help and that’s very nice so please don’t take it to heart when I say that you make the worst nurse I have ever seen. It’s okay, you already helped me inside, I can take care of the rest. This isn’t my first stab wound.” 

The smaller boy was still kneeling in front of him, his lips slightly quivering. Emil had already changed his blindfold twice and yet he couldn’t stop crying and getting it wet. Nier placed his free hand over the other’s eyes, wishing to stop new tears from falling. 

“I promise I’m okay… Tell you what, I will explain what I’m doing and if I forget any step you can remind me. Deal?” 

Emil leaned into the warmth of his hand, even reaching up to hold it but eventually let go with a sigh. 

“... Deal. But you better be thorough or you’ll have to let me redo it.” 

Those were the most words Emil had spoken since they had entered the manor. Nier knew that his friend felt insecure, that he was scared of Nier changing his mind at any given point but the villager doubted there was anything he could do at the moment to change such unreasonable fears. For now he would focus on his leg and once that had been taken care of he could think about the next step. 

And so Nier began to explain in detail how he was treating the wound. He went from disinfection with alcohol over to checking for any impurities and eventually ended at stitching it. It had been a clear cut, luckily, and Nier only needed a few stitches in order to close it. The wound was bandaged (not too tightly as Emil had pointed out) and once Nier deemed his work done he allowed Emil to run his fingers over his result. 

“Did I do okay, nurse Emil?” Nier asked with a slightly teasing tone. He just wanted the smaller boy to go back to his cheerful self. It hurt seeing him constantly on the verge of tears. 

“Acceptable enough.” his friend mumbled. With a small sigh Nier grabbed Emil’s cheeks and varied between squeezing and pulling. A whine was the first response he got but eventually Emil’s giggle reached his ears, satisfying him immensely. His attacks ended with him cupping Emil’s face and pulling him just a bit closer. Colder hands were placed onto his knees, seemingly holding onto him as Nier decided what to do next. He was neither pushed away nor did Emil look uncomfortable. It meant that their friendship hadn’t been broken beyond repair. 

“Do you know who you are, Emil?” Nier finally asked. Fingers dug into his skin, the other’s hold tightening but there was no pain. Emil would never hurt him. 

“... I…” His friend began, his voice sounding choked. “... I am a cursed weapon.” Emil breathed out. The words were almost inaudible but Nier caught them anyway. 

He shook his head. 

“No. You are Emil. Nothing more and nothing less than that. You are the boy who scared the crap out of me when we first met. You are the one who was willing to help and trust me blindly. You are an amazing gardener and an even greater musician. You are kind and positive and bubbly.”

“You are Emil. My friend. And nothing will ever change that.” 

Before Emil had the chance to break into tears, Nier shushed him. “And now my friend is gonna get me a new pair of pants because we just cut mine open and I don’t want to return to the village having to explain why I’m missing a whole leg of my pants.” 

Realization seemed to finally dawn on the other’s face and Nier snorted in amusement as he saw that rosy color return to Emil’s cheeks. The boy pushed himself up with more force than necessary and even managed to run into the doorframe before hurrying down a hallway to who knew where. Sebastian belatedly flew after his master, leaving Nier to himself. 

Leaning back in his chair, Nier ran a hand over his face. Upon closer inspection he found his fingers shaking but then again who would hold it against him? 

“So Emil is the mysterious creature…” he mumbled to himself. In a way it kinda made sense. Emil moved here around the time the creature was first said to have been seen… His knowledge of the forest… And him being close to where Nier had found the statue… Whatever the boy had meant by calling himself a cursed weapon, the longer Nier thought about it the more he might be able to get behind the revelation. 

He wondered if he should feel more afraid. Or afraid at all. Nier had just found out that his new friend was also the one responsible for all the petrification but no matter how much he tried to be weirded out by it he just… wasn’t. Maybe because those people had all been assholes. Maybe because Emil had just risked his secret in order to help. Or maybe because Nier couldn’t see Emil for anything but the considerate and gentle soul he was. Whatever his reasoning, Nier was glad that he didn’t think any different. 

Or feel any different. 

Noises outside the room alerted him of the return of his friend and Nier looked up from his hand to see Emil with his arms full. At least six different pairs of pants were in the boy’s hold and judging by how out of breath he was, Emil had probably hurried more than he should have. 

“I don’t really know your size so I grabbed a few from other bedrooms. I doubt mine would fit you so… here you go!” Emil held out the pile of clothes and Nier got up from his chair in order to accept them. A small hiss managed to escape him and Emil’s head shot up to look into his direction. “Wait just a sec, Nier!” And without another word Emil was once again gone. 

At least it seemed like he was feeling better. With a small smile Nier sat down again and awkwardly climbed out of his ruined pants, careful not to upset his wound any more. Luckily the third pair he tried on was fitting quite nicely and Nier was just buttoning up when Emil’s head peeked around the doorframe. In his hand was a familiar bottle and Nier hesitantly accepted the offered item.

“Isn’t this… the medicine I gave you?” Nier asked though he already knew the answer. He would recognize the design anywhere. Emil started to fiddle around with his scarf, biting his lip to release some stress. 

“I will explain everything but for now please drink it. I don’t want you to be in any more pain than you already are because of me.” 

Nier was hesitant at first. After all, he had given it to Emil with the intention of helping the sister. However, arguing would most likely be fruitless and if his friend said it was okay then it probably was. With a sigh he uncorked the bottle and downed the content before grimacing. He had to cough as the terrible taste rolled down his throat but there was little he could do. At least the medicine was a strong one and he could feel the pain slowly numbing. 

“Please allow me to show you something. I will tell you whatever you want to know once we’re there.” 

And when Emil offered his hand to him, Nier took it without hesitation. 

They walked through the manor, hand in hand, and Nier quickly noticed that Emil was taking him back to the main hallway. With the pain mostly gone he could walk comfortably enough and when Emil guided him up the stairs he could follow almost without lagging behind. 

It became quickly clear why Emil had never allowed him upstairs. Now that they were walking past the windows he had a clear view onto the courtyard as well as the two dozens of statues spread across grass and paths. It would have been a haunting sight, knowing that every single one of them had once lived in his village and yet all Nier could feel was apathy. 

Emil, however, seemed to interpret his slowing down as something else. The grip on his hand weakened though Nier refused to let go when his friend made any attempts at pulling away. 

“I never mourned them.” Nier clarified immediately. “They were assholes, cheaters, murderers and thieves. I won’t lie and say I felt horrible when they didn’t return. I and others actually felt relieved even if no one ever voiced it out loud.” He squeezed Emil’s hand. “If this is the bad thing you were talking about… Freeing wives of their abusive husbands, punishing cheaters for playing with hearts and emotions, and allowing children a chance at a future without their drunken parents... Then you shouldn’t worry, Emil.” Nier began to walk again and he pulled his friend along even if he wasn’t sure where to go. 

Emil looked into his direction with his mouth open and Nier could easily imagine what his eyes looked underneath the blindfold. The other’s head moved down towards their joined hands and Emil shyly squeezed his hand back. “Y-You’re really not afraid of me? Even after knowing about my curse? What I’m capable of?” 

That caused Nier to stop. Though he didn’t want to think about it, he knew he had to voice it. He bit back the bile at the memories but this was for Emil. He had to take his friend’s worries away. He just had to. 

“Are any of these people dead?” Nier asked. 

“... No. They are petrified. But I believe that if the curse can be lifted they will be okay.” Emil answered honestly.

“Have you ever killed a man?” Nier pushed on. 

Emil shook his head without hesitation. 

“I have.” 

The hallway remained silent as Emil took a sharp exhale. Nier studied him closely as he searched for any indication of disgust. If his friend didn’t think badly of him he surely would soon enough. 

“I don’t care. Whatever you did, you did for your sister.” Emil finally replied with confidence. It seemed like the other understood that Nier was pushing him. The villager took a step closer and lifted their joined hands to his hair. Emil tensed up, clearly remembering what he had once been told though this only strengthened Nier’s resolve. 

“A year and a half ago… A man offered me money in return for my services. I hated it, hated him, and hated how it made me feel. But Yonah needed medicine and I needed money. So I would let him pay me over and over again… Eventually I was hired to kill a pack of wolves that had gotten too close to Seafront… It had turned out that this guy had been sent as support alongside others. The fight had been a tough one and when this man had been distracted by the animals I took the chance and made sure he could never hurt anyone again.” 

Letting go of Emil’s hand, Nier reached behind his head to untie his hair. It was the first time he allowed it to touch his shoulders and neck since those events. His first reaction was disgust but he quickly guided Emil’s other hand to his hair as well, giving him silent permission to explore. 

“He used to grab me by my hair. It would hurt, it would be humiliating. He had full control just by dragging me around by it… So I started hating it and myself… You’re not a monster, Emil. And you’re not bad. I’ve seen true evil and you are nothing like him. Like them. You may be capable of doing bad things but so is everyone else. So am I. So tell me… Are you afraid of me? Now that you know what I did?”

Nier lowered his hands and closed his eyes as Emil began to run his fingers over his scalp. The touch was gentle and soon his friend brushed some hair behind his ear before cupping his cheek. He might not have known what color Emil’s eyes were but Nier knew without a doubt that they would look at him with affection and honesty. 

“I could never be afraid of you, Nier. I trust you with everything I got… You're no monster but my friend.” 

And the fingers in his hair supported these words. Emil was massaging his scalp, playing with hair and simply exploring. There was no harsh pulling, no nails digging into his skin. All Nier felt was the thorough care with which Emil tried to ease any tension out of him. And it…

“Feels nice…” Nier mumbled before he could stop himself. He covered his mouth but Emil had already heard him. The boy began to smile brightly and Nier was glad his friend couldn’t see his heating cheeks. 

“I can do this whenever you want me to. It’s fun, in a way!” Emil expressed hopefully. He dutifully pulled his hands away and crossed his arms behind his back, rocking back and forth in that by now familiar way. It seemed like he was waiting for Nier to be ready again and after a moment of hesitation the villager tied his hair back up. He wasn’t yet ready to keep it down but maybe he could get used to it again.

“I might take you up on that offer. Now come on, take me to that special place before my leg starts to fall off.” 

When Emil reached for his hand this time, both their grips were strong.

Chapter Text

It was almost too soon when they found themselves in front of a door. It must have looked just like every other one they had passed so far and yet Emil could feel the weight of the room resting on his shoulders. With a shaky inhale he leaned his forehead against the wood and simply waited for a moment or two. His hand let go of Nier’s so he could place his fingertips onto the door. 

He could feel her. Just like how he could sense Kainé, he could feel her every time he got close. It was one of the reasons why he was staying on the far end of the manor. Emil couldn’t bear to feel her. It would only remind him of his failure. 

Finally exhaling, Emil’s hand searched for the door handle. He pushed it down and opened the door for himself and Nier. 

“Please, come on in.” he whispered as he already entered the bedroom. 

Emil didn’t know what it looked like at that moment. He had made sure to always place new flowers onto the nightstand and get enough fresh air inside but the times he had looked at her could be counted down on a single hand. 

Nier’s sharp inhale told him everything he needed to know.

“The person you see on the bed… Who has been petrified… She’s my sister, Halua.” 

Emil didn’t need to see at that moment to take in the sight. It had been a view that had burned itself into his mind, one that he was confronted with in most nightmares. Halua would be laying on the bed, a blanket now made of stone pulled up to keep her cozy warm. Her eyes would be closed as if she was merely sleeping and her hands would be crossed on her stomach. The whole bed frame and a part of the wall would be made of stone, appearing as if someone had simply sculpted the peaceful night of a girl. 

He sat down on the floor in front of the bed and leaned back, feeling each stone and rock pressing uncomfortably into his skin. But Emil didn’t dare to sit down on the bed. Not after what he had done to her. 

“Emil…” Nier’s voice spoke from somewhere near the door but the boy in question merely shook his head. He needed to be truthful. 

“I don’t want any more secrets… Please, let me do this…” 

And when no reply came, Emil took a shaking breath and began talking. 

“My sister and I lost our parents when we were young… We travelled from place to place but no one wanted to take us in. We weren’t from around here and with my sister having caught the black disease since her early years no one wanted us close in fear we would infect other kids.” 

Emil pulled his legs closer and wrapped his arms around them. 

“We eventually found this place through rumors and hearsay. It was scary and I was crying a lot but sister still dragged me inside, telling me this would be our new home…” A fond smile tugged at his lips. “I was such a childish child back then… I played with my food, I cried whenever I didn’t get the attention I wanted and Halua had to look after me while she was sick… I still wonder if things would have ended differently if I had just been able to see the signs like she did.”

Pushing himself back up, Emil walked over to a little drawer. He opened it and pulled out several small pieces of paper with names and descriptions on them.

“After a month or so of living here, sister and I were found. They looked nice, their voices were soft, and I trusted them immediately. Halua was more cautious but when those two offered us a cure for her disease I was on board without missing a beat. I whined and cried until sister finally gave in…”

Emil fiddled around with the pieces of paper, not quite sure what to do with them yet.

“Those two… They took us… somewhere.” He shook his head. “My memories become blurry at that point. I don’t remember where… and I don’t remember who they made us meet… It feels like a hole in my memory and no matter how hard I try to remember I just can’t . But whoever they made us meet offered me and my sister the cure in return for our services.”

There were some rustling noises but Emil felt too ashamed to look into Nier’s direction. Rather, he lowered his head in shame. 

“I remember agreeing. I also remember Halua being reluctant and not wanting to accept their help. And after that everything just became… pain. My eyes began to hurt and I felt like dying and it felt like it would never get better.” 

His hand came to rest on the blindfold that was hiding his eyes. 

“I awoke back here. My eyes were still hurting but I couldn’t open them. Something was covering them. Those two told me that I wasn’t allowed to see without their permission but I didn’t understand what they meant. I was only twelve years old, how was a child like me supposed to understand the consequences of my actions?” 

“And so I ran through the manor, pulling the blindfold off as I searched for my sister. I was in pain, my vision was blurry and everything hurt. I was crying and I ran into things but I eventually made it to this room. Our bedroom.” 

Emil began to shake and his voice broke at the memories he had been running from for so many years. Warm arms wrapped around him from behind and a chest pressed against him. At first Emil panicked, thinking that he was going to be restricted for his past actions but he finally understood that this was a hug. Nier wasn’t trying to restrict or lock him away. He wanted to comfort Emil. Closing his eyes as the wet blindfold began to itch, Emil leaned back into the embrace. 

“I found Halua in her bed. She sounded so happy because the black disease had vanished and I… I just wanted to see her. I wanted to see her smile and see how she looked being all healthy and cured. But the stone already began to grow from the end of the bed and it swallowed her up so quickly. Sister, she… She was so smart. She knew that this must have been the curse given to me. Halua told me that it was okay, that she was sorry for not protecting me better and then she told me not to cry. S-She told me she loved me and then… And then she was gone.” 

When his legs gave in underneath him Nier moved down with him. Now on his knees, Emil cried in front of the statue of his sister. He cried, he sobbed, and he clung to his arms until his nails dug into skin. All the while he was embraced by a warmth he didn’t deserve, hearing a voice whisper kind words. 

“T-They were disappointed… F-Frustrated that I petrified o-one of his new we-weapons…” Emil forced out. “As if I-I had just caused a mild inconvenience…”

He held out the papers for Nier to see. His fingers were badly trembling but a hand wrapped around his, stabilizing it enough for his friend to read the names. Emil could feel the sudden exhale on his neck and a shiver ran down his spine. He merely nodded. 

“Those are the names of the missing villagers.” Nier summarized. Emil was glad that he didn’t need to explain that part. 

“They said that if I followed orders… and were loyal to him… That I would eventually get the cure…. For my eyes… They come by every now and then… B-Bring me supplies and new descriptions of those they will send to me… As their weapon I have to petrify them… And I do.” Emil sobbed. 

“For years I have petrified any name on that list… I-I just want my sister back. I don’t want to hurt anyone… But I still can’t cure her.”

“Oh, Emil.” Nier whispered from behind him. The hold around his waist tightened and Emil was pulled back against that strong chest. He clumsily removed the wet blindfold so his tears could fall freely and though he didn’t deserve it, pressed back into the embrace offered to him. 

“I’m sorry.” Emil whispered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Nier mumbled into his hair. “I and many others would have done the same… It must have been lonely, living here all by yourself with such a heavy burden.” 

Emil’s sobs were disturbed when Nier began to move behind him. The smaller boy found himself being moved until fingers could brush his tears away. No matter how many more followed, Nier would wipe them away immediately. “Remember what your sister told you… You shouldn’t cry, Emil. You’re strong and you will find a cure and if I can help then I will. We both have siblings who count on us… Let’s be strong for them.” 

Though he knew he couldn’t open his eyes, Emil wished he could look into Nier’s face. His cheeks were held in that familiar manner and all Emil wanted to do was catch a glimpse of the kind soul who didn’t leave him no matter how ugly the truth was. He wasn’t sure how to express his gratitude or affection and on top of that Emil’s head hurt from the crying and remembering. So instead of saying anything, Emil moved his head to the side so he could press his lips against Nier’s wrist, right where his pulse would be. Whatever he was feeling for this boy was yet to be entangled but Emil knew that whatever it was, it was a deep care and devotion. Nier’s breath hitched though there was neither a sign of disgust nor an attempt at pushing him away. Emil’s tears finally stopped and he lowered his head in slight shame when he couldn’t identify Nier’s exact thoughts. 

“Emil…” Nier began with a soft voice. Thumbs rubbed over his heated cheeks and the boy in question reluctantly lifted his head for the other to see. 

Whatever Nier had wished to say or do, however, was interrupted by a door being kicked open. The sudden noise followed by an angry voice boomed through the manor and Emil quickly fumbled for his blindfold. It was offered to him without hesitation and he secured the cloth around his eyes as Nier helped him up. Holding hands so Emil wouldn’t get left behind, Nier dragged him through the upper hallway. Whatever the ruckus was, it had clearly come from the entrance hall. 

Emil was surprised when he suddenly ran into Nier’s back as the other had come to an abrupt halt. They must have reached the railing leading down to the main hall as the voices were now crystal clear. 

“Goddamn no-good bullshit bastard! Come on! Move it already!” a familiar angry voice cursed and Emil’s eyes widened behind his blindfold. 

“I told you already, hussy, the likes of me will not cooperate with someone who cannot even dress in a proper manner. Now unhand me or I will be forced to defend myself.” 

“Then stop the fucking whining and start fighting, asshole! You think you can sneak around this place? I think the fuck not!” 

Emil had expected anything on a crazy day like this but hearing Kainé argue with someone who sounded rather fancy had not been on his list. The more surprising it was when he and Nier spoke up at the same time.

“Kainé!”

“Weiss?!”

Chapter Text

With the help of Nier Emil hurried down the stairs to where their acquaintances were just moments away from fighting. Initially he had intended on holding Kainé back but now that he was closer he suddenly sensed a familiar aura. He stopped on the last step and tried to process what he was feeling all while the others continued to argue. Shaking his head, Emil raised his voice. 

“Kainé! Stop! He’s like us!” 

That certainly seemed to catch everyone’s attention. Nier was still by his side but for now Emil focused on the stranger. He hesitantly walked over to his friend and took her arm, slightly hiding behind her. Now that he was just a meter or so away he could clearly feel it. 

“What the fuck do you mean?” the woman asked irritatedly. Emil pointed towards the man Nier seemingly knew. 

“He’s a weapon.” Emil whispered, hiding some more behind her. The room was quiet except for an amused exhale coming from the stranger. 

“It appears that at least someone in this manor is in possession of a sharp mind. You heard the truth from him, hussy. I am sadly of the likes of you and thus I mean no harm. I simply wish to find out about our origins and I believe that you two can help me with this.”

“Weiss, what are you talking about?” Nier now chimed in. Footsteps signaled that the villager was stepping closer, clearly wishing to be a part of this conversation. “What is going on here?” 

Emil could feel Kainé tense up but he squeezed her arm against his chest. “It’s okay. I told him about my eyes and Halua. He knows about me.” 

His friend sighed in annoyance but a hand came down to rest on his head. “You’re too trusting for your own good, Emil. What the fuck am I gonna do with you?” Her tone held no malice and Emil smiled up at her, glad that she wasn’t mad at him. 

“I do not wish to interrupt such a precious moment between the hussy and Nier’s friend but I suggest we take this to a more suitable room. We have a lot to discuss and I could use a cup of tea before diving into such a complex topic.”

“Screw your priorities.” Kainé shot back though Emil was quick to step in. He was still exhausted from the petrification earlier and he didn’t want another fight. 

“Yes, of course. Nier, please be so kind and take your acquaintance to the dining room. Kainé and I will prepare some tea and meet you there shortly.” he asked, turning towards where his friend would be located. Some hesitation was laying in the air, probably due to the confusing situation, but Nier eventually agreed.

“Oh… sure… Come on, Weiss.” 

Following the direction of the footsteps, Emil deemed the moment as deescalated. He sighed and leaned against the woman for support. 

“You okay?” he heard Kainé mumble. Normally Emil wouldn’t bother her with his problems but he felt too exhausted to fake a front. 

“Not… Not really, I think… Two men were sent to me today but Nier was around when they found me. He got hurt trying to protect me and I… I used my powers in front of him.” Kainé had her arm wrapped around him as she led them both to the kitchen. Faint voices could be heard down the hallway but Emil didn’t try to eavesdrop. “He wasn’t scared of me. Instead, he even comforted and reassured me… I ended up showing him Halua and then you guys came in and… It’s been a long day. I’m tired.” 

Entering the kitchen, Emil was told to sit down as Kainé began to prepare the tea. He massaged his temples and smiled weakly. “Don’t do anything to his tea, please. If he’s a friend of Nier I want him to feel at home.” 

There was a moment of silence before Kainé spoke up. “Fine. Sure, whatever. So you saying he’s like us?” 

Emil nodded. “I can feel the same magic within him that’s inside you, Halua and me. He must have met him as well so maybe that’s what he wants to find out? If he’s one of us he probably won’t remember the encounter either.” 

“Still, I don’t trust him. Don’t let your guard down, Emil…”

“He can’t be that bad if Nier trusts him, right?”

“What the heck, Weiss? I trusted you!” Nier whisper shouted as he walked up and down in front of the calmly sitting man. Weiss had taken a seat on a couch, not bothered by the situation at all, and somehow that only infuriated Nier more. 

“How did you find this place anyway?” 

“Settle down, lad. All will be explained in due time.” Weiss crossed his legs and looked at Nier with a spark that the villager couldn’t identify. “Simply know that no harm will come to you or your mate. Your secret is safe with me.”

Coming to a stop, Nier looked at the librarian with confusion. Why Weiss acted like he knew something about him he didn’t know himself was beyond Nier but he didn’t like it at all. He sighed and rubbed his forehead before sitting down next to Weiss.

“Fine. Whatever. But don’t pick any unnecessary fights with that lady. I think she would beat you.”

“Damn fucking right I would.” 

The voice announced the return of Emil and his friend who was carrying a tray with four cups and a kettle. They sat down on the opposite couch and the tray was slammed onto the table, not all that friendly. Weiss didn’t seem faced by the woman’s behavior though as he leaned forward and grabbed a cup after voicing his thanks. Nier didn’t pay attention to the passive aggressiveness between their friends, rather he was focused on Emil and the way he clung to his scarf. It felt weird, being separated by the table but there was nothing he could say to swap places. It was probably for the best to keep the others separated. 

The living-room was silent except for the muffled sounds of Weiss drinking. Nobody said anything and eventually Nier couldn’t handle the awkwardness anymore. 

“What the heck is going on here?” he spoke up, not as eloquent as he had intended to but it served its purpose. Weiss placed the cup back onto the saucer and cleared his throat. 

“Your friend, his… acquaintance and I have all been turned into living tools by a being that I, and they most likely, cannot remember.” Weiss stated as a matter of fact. A second passed before Emil spoke up.

“Uhm… M-May I ask for your name, sir?” 

Oh, right. That’s probably where they should have started. 

“This is Weiss.” Nier explained. “He works in the library in the village and I asked him for his help a couple weeks ago. We wanted to figure out the mystery that was the…” he hesitated. “The creature of this forest. I don’t know how he found his way here though. I definitely wasn’t followed.” 

Emil nodded though Nier could see the anxiety in the way he constantly readjusted his position. “I… I’m the master of this manor. My name is Emil, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Weiss. My friend here is Kainé.” 

“It’s Grimm Weiss, actually. And the pleasure is all mine. I am thrilled to finally meet you, Emil, as Nier’s memories have left me with quite high expectations. However, it appears like you are everything he thought you to be. I am quite glad.”

Blinking in surprise, Nier furrowed his brows and looked over to the young man sitting beside him. “My… memories? What do you mean?”

“Young Emil.” Weiss said instead, smoothly ignoring any and all confusion of Nier. The boy felt irritated but kept quiet about it. He still wasn’t sure what was going on exactly. Emil, on his side, perked up to attention.

“Yes, Grimm Weiss?” 

“What exactly is your curse?” 

Emil seemingly tensed up and Kainé leaned forward as if she wanted to say something, though the smaller boy laid his hand on her arm. 

“It’s okay…” Emil first addressed his friend before continuing. “I petrify anyone who I look at. It’s not a conscious choice, I can’t control it. I keep my eyes covered so I don’t hurt anyone.” 

Weiss nodded, seemingly in thought. This wasn’t any news but Nier guessed that Weiss simply wished for a confirmation. “Fascinating. And what about your scarcely dressed friend? What curse has been given to her?”

“Fuck off, bookworm. How about you spit out something about yourself first? Your art is starting to piss me off!” Kainé would have stood up if it wasn’t for Emil’s hold on her. She fell back into the couch and crossed her arms, obviously agitated by the development of their conversation. Nier, not wanting any more conflict, leaned a bit closer to Weiss.

“I think she got a point. If you want to go anywhere with this you should be transparent.”

The librarian intertwined his hands and sighed in what sounded like exhaustion. 

“Very well. To show my good nature I will go next then. The curse that has been bestowed upon me finds its origin in blood.” Weiss explained. “By receiving just a droplet of blood from another being I can create an autobiography about this person’s life up to the point in time where I received their blood.” The librarian pulled out a thick book from his bag, revealing it to Nier and Kainé. Its hardcover was decorated with golden lines that formed a single name:

Nier

His heart stopped a beat and Nier felt a terrible shiver run down his spine. He watched in disbelief as Weiss opened the book to reveal red pages with a darker red writing. Almost as if the ink had been blood. Upon closer inspection Nier could make out several sentences. They spoke of a morning of his. How he got up early, checked up on Yonah, and then what kind of chores and tasks he did for that day. Just a usual day in his life. However, he could also read the thoughts and emotions he must have had on that particular morning.

His blood ran cold.

“Every creature’s blood, be it human or animal, stores the story of its being. Every thought, every emotion, every movement as small as clearing one’s throat is memorized by blood. My curse allows me to take those stored memories and reform them into books. I am a keeper of knowledge.” 

Nier’s head was spinning. He remembered the papercut and how adamant Weiss had been about his handkerchief… But the worst thing was that he had seen this book before. Or similar ones. At least a couple dozen of them were stored in the basement of their library. No one was allowed to go down there except for Popola and Weiss. 

He could guess why now. 

“So… You used my blood to read about my memories? My thoughts? Doubts? Fears and emotions?” With each word Nier’s voice raised more and more. At the end he found himself shouting and he could no longer sit next to the man who had used him. He got up and backed off, staring at the book in Weiss’ hand. Nier felt vulnerable. Weak. And most importantly, ashamed. He knew what he had done, had thought, had felt. Those things had been private and if Weiss had read about them…

“I understand your reaction, lad, but I promise you on my honor and life that I have not read a single entry from before you entered the forest for the first time.” 

“And why should I trust you?!” Nier shouted in return. His knuckles turned white from the tension he felt and heavy breathing escaped through his gritted teeth. He felt hurt and hot tears threatened to appear in his eyes. 

“Because I consider you a friend, Nier.” Weiss said in a soft voice. “I knew you kept something from me, knew that you had found something in the forest. And I needed to know what it was. Your friend will probably agree with me when I say that I do not wish to carry this curse with me any longer. I want to be freed from this duty. But I was alone. I had no one I could talk to as I was under strict supervision. You were the first to reach out to me and while I regret having used you to find my way here, my intentions of helping you had not been faked.” 

To support his words, Weiss held out the book to Nier. The villager eyed it and its creator warily but when Weiss made no move to pull it back again, Nier took it immediately. 

“You can burn it or tear its pages. I used your memories to find out about your little friend as well as find my way here. That’s all I wished to know. You may do whatever you wish with it, it’s yours and I swear on the never setting sun that I will not create a new copy.”

Nier wasn’t sure if he could believe him. His heart and mind were still racing and he felt torn between running away and tearing the book apart right here. It was only when a soft voice caught his attention that Nier managed to calm down. 

“Nier… Come here.” It was Emil. Kainé had gotten up from her seat and was now leaning against a bookshelf, thus creating enough space on the couch next to the blindfolded boy. Nier felt numb when he moved over but he did as he was told, taking a seat and allowing Emil to lean against his shoulder. He could feel Weiss’ eyes on them but Nier simply hugged the book closer, not looking up to meet that knowing glance. If Weiss had truly read about his encounters with Emil then the other most likely knew what Nier had started to bury. 

“I truly am sorry for misusing your trust, lad. And I can only hope that you will find it within yourself to one day forgive me. My service is still yours to use and if you allow me I will use what knowledge I have to help you find a cure for your sister.”

Conflicting feelings pushed aside, Nier knew that he needed the help. While Weiss’ curse was terrifying without a doubt, it was also useful. He wanted to hate this thought but Nier couldn’t deny it. Besides, if Weiss wanted to get rid of his curse they might also be able to help Emil and his sister. In the end there was only one logical answer. 

“I still want you on the team, Weiss. But I haven’t forgiven you yet. You have to prove that I can trust you.” 

“Very well, lad. And thank you… for another chance.” Weiss spoke softly. Nier felt Emil lean a bit closer to him, probably in silent agreement. And if Emil thought that he had done the right thing then he would believe the same. Even if at that moment it was difficult. 

“Weiss, uhm… if I may ask…” Emil chimed in, his voice rather quiet as a result of his shyness. “With those books of yours… Are you the one who… I-I mean…”

While Nier wasn’t sure what Emil was hinting at, it appeared as if Weiss understood immediately. There was a pained expression on the librarian’s face and Nier doubted that the other was acting. Whatever Emil had meant had clearly hit home. 

“I’m afraid I am, young Emil. The names handed to you are from me. It is my task and duty to read through the resident’s pasts and determine who is holding the village back. I put together a list, hand them over to them and they make the final decision. I was suspicious when the villagers I had deemed problematic had first started to disappear but I had my theories. Knowing now of your existence only proves my worst fears. That I am the judge with you as the executioner.” 

His head was going to burst. Every new revelation felt like another hit to his guts and Nier had no idea how the others could handle this. In a single day he had found out about Emil’s curse, had seen his petrified sister, and now he was seriously being told that Weiss had not only some creepy blood magic but had also been the one deciding who was sent into the forest? What kind of sick person had started this whole circle??

“Actually… I’m not the…”

“I’m the executioner, you dumb fuck.” Kainé voiced from her position. Nier had already forgotten her presence but when the woman pushed herself off the bookshelf to return to the table he couldn’t help but feel slightly intimidated. She carried herself with such confidence, strength and determination that he was torn between fearing her and admiring her. He settled on the middle ground. 

Kainé held out her bandaged arm and motioned towards the matching bandaged leg. “Whatever shit-hog did that to us decided to fucking give me parts of a dragon or some fucked up animal.” While she didn’t remove the bandages, upon closer inspections Nier could make out a certain unevenness. There were consistent bumps hidden underneath the bandages and now that he thought about it, those could probably be methodically placed scales. 

“Kainé is super strong.” Emil helpfully threw in. “She can bend metal like a twig and tear down iron with her arm! She’s amazing!“ he explained with growing excitement. It should have creeped Nier out but seeing his friend this proud of Kainé was infectious. Besides, if Emil felt this comfortable and calm around the woman then there probably was more to Kainé than just her rough appearance. 

“My mistake, hussy. Clearly your whole appearance just screams fighter and executioner, I should have known.” Voice dripping with sarcasm, Nier wondered whether Weiss had a little death wish. Surprisingly though Kainé didn’t strangle him right there. Instead she simply huffed and crossed her arms.

“Rot in hell, asshole.” She simply said and the topic was dropped just like that. 

Nier looked down at the book in his hands as he tried to fully wrap his mind around everything he had just been told. “So to summarize… You three were cursed by someone you don’t remember. Weiss judges people’s lives and if someone was a real shithead they got sent to Emil. Emil’s purpose is to petrify and trap them like a warden and then… What, Kainé should smash them to pieces? But the whole garden is littered in statues.”

“Because I don’t play by those bitches’ rules.” Kainé said as if it was obvious. “If they wanna kill these people they should move their asses here and push them over themselves. I’m not gonna do their bidding while they hide in their library and tavern like fucking cowards.”

His heart skipped a beat. 

“Wait… who do you mean?” Nier heard himself asking though the growing terror had already taken a strong hold of him. He knew who she was talking about. But he needed to hear it. 

“Popola and Devola.”

Nier got up and left.

Chapter Text

He had just made it to the front door when Emil managed to catch up to him. The other ran straight into his back, causing Nier to almost lose his balance but arms wrapped around his waist in order to trap him right where he was. With his hand on the handle Nier didn’t turn around. He didn’t want to. 

“Nier, please…” Emil mumbled against his shoulder. Through the numbness of his emotions Nier could still recognize the desperation in his friend’s voice. A small threat of guilt wrapped around his heart, squeezing it more. 

“I… I need time, Emil.” Nier whispered. He stared at the door but his true focus rested on the body pressed against his. “Those two… They pretty much raised me and Yonah after my parents died. They were always there for me so… I need time for myself. It’s also late, Yonah will be worried.” 

Nier could feel Emil trembling against him. His friend was afraid. Closing his eyes, he let go of the door so he could place his hand on top of Emil’s arm that was wrapped around him. 

“I will be back. I promise. Nothing I heard today changed my mind about you… Have some faith in me, will you?” 

This seemed to do the trick. Tense arms relaxed and Emil lessened his hold until Nier barely felt it anymore. 

“I trust you.” Emil whispered and no matter how often these words were spoken, they hit Nier every time. “Please take care, Nier. And come back whenever you feel better! It can be days o-or weeks or however long you need! You know where to find me!” 

Turning in the embrace, Nier took Emil’s hand and placed it on top of his head. A small shiver ran down his spine but he ignored it. “I trust you as well. And don’t even think you will have such a long break from me. A couple of days, at most.” The hand in his hair moved down until it rested on his neck. For a split second Nier wondered if he should return the earlier kiss to the wrist but in the end he did nothing.

“I’ll see you, Emil.” he whispered as he pushed the door open, leaving the warm embrace. 

It didn’t take too long before someone else fell into step with him. Nier’s hold on his book tightened and he pointedly looked straight forward even when Weiss cleared his throat. 

“Say, lad. What is your plan from here on out?” 

Nier entertained the idea of giving Weiss the cold shoulder. The asshole would have deserved it. But truth be told he felt emotionally exhausted and there was no more anger or energy he could direct into being petty. He merely shrugged his shoulders, not knowing himself. 

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly thrilled about… all of this. The book, those curses, and… and the twins.” Nier couldn’t call them by their name. Not yet. Not until he had fully understood the gravity of their situation. 

“It must have been a lot to take in, I imagine. Though you have carried yourself quite well, my friend. I had feared you might lash out or not believe a word but you have shown great composure. It’s admirable.”

For a moment Nier wondered whether he was being made fun of but he couldn’t detect any sarcasm. Weiss was honest in his observation and somehow it made him feel better. It was a stupid thing to feel proud of but any little compliment was wanted in that moment. 

“I guess it just made sense, in a way. It’s not like I went into this without knowing anything at all… These books you create, I’ve seen them before. I was given permission to enter the basement once when Popola wanted me to carry something for her. I just thought they were old history books at that time. I didn’t pay too much attention.”

Weiss nodded next to him, arms crossed behind his back. Nier returned his attention to his own book that he had been holding since it had first been given to him. He still wasn’t sure what to do with it. 

“The basement is like a library below the library. Back when I was first cursed with this unwanted knowledge I spent many days down there, creating and reading through information I didn’t want. It became quite a heavy burden, knowing some dark and unforgiving secrets of those you see every day. It became less once I had read through the majority of villagers but now and then when we receive visitors or new settlers I am once again tasked to read through them.”

Nier wondered what it was like, knowing so much about others. Weiss had read people’s most private thoughts and encountering them on a shopping trip must have been weird as hell. 

“How do you get their blood? It’s not like you can just ask them for it, can you?”

That earned him a small chuckle. “It’s uncomfortably easy, actually. Usually I’m not the one to ask them for it. But Popola and Devola got their tricks. As the provider of medicine and health advice, Popola can demand a small sample of blood under the disguise of checking it for impurities.  Meanwhile Devola is mostly found in the tavern, surrounded by drunkards who wouldn’t even notice a small cut caused by a broken glass.”

Nier knew that Weiss was speaking the truth. He himself had seen Popola ask a sick villager for a blood example. Thinking about him, he even remembered times where Popola had kindly offered to clean weapons after a successful mission. In retrospect it all made so much sense. 

“Those two… Have they ever checked me or… Or Yonah?” Nier whispered under his breath. He was afraid of the answer.

“Worry not, lad. No children will ever be judged by the twins. No matter your past experiences and actions, a child will never be held accountable in such harsh manners. You are ever changing, learning, and sometimes you don’t know any better. No one will fault you for this.”

Releasing a relieved breath, Nier smiled weakly at Weiss. “Thank you… This helps. A lot, I mean. Though I do have to ask you… How much did you read in my book?” His tone was defensive but Nier couldn’t quite change it. This question had bothered him ever since he had been given his own grimoire. His life wasn’t a pretty one and he needed to know just what Weiss had seen. 

“My earlier words still hold the truth. I have not looked at a chapter of your life prior to the day you have first entered these woods…” Weiss explained but the tension didn’t leave Nier. Neither said anything in the following silence and the librarian finally sighed in defeat. 

“It appears this answer is not to your satisfaction. Very well then. I will tell you what I know.” The young man cleared his throat and Nier braced himself. 

“I have skipped the paragraphs and sections about your tasks and jobs. I have not read your inner thoughts about your sister or anything related to the village… I have, however, read through your encounters with the young Emil. I wished to see if he was of interest and connected to the creature or if it had been a mere coincidence.” 

When Weiss placed a hand on Nier’s shoulder, the villager didn’t pull away. Rather, Nier was caught off guard by the sudden contact. He looked up into the other’s eyes and was surprised when he found a sympathetic smile. “You care deeply about him, lad. Whether you wish to admit those feelings to yourself or bury them with whatever pain you have experienced in your past that is entirely up to you. But I will not deny that what I have read spoke of an altruistic devotion matched by only one other in your life. Something about him intrigues you and in a way you feel unburdened in his presence. Emil seems to harbor an unconditional warmth for you… And I believe you do the same. Even if such a commitment scares you.” 

Together they reached the end of the forest and Nier had to stop himself from running away or denying anything Weiss had just assumed about him. He wanted to brush it off and tell the man that he was wrong but the terrifying realization was that he couldn’t. Deep down Nier knew that what Weiss had said were simply the emotions and thoughts he had buried anew every night. And of course he was scared. He had loved his father and he had died. He had adored his mother and she was dead. And he was caring for Yonah who had caught a deadly disease.

Anyone he cared for would end up leaving him in one way or another. Nier couldn’t allow anyone else into his heart. 

But he wanted to. And that was what hurt the most. Nier so desperately wanted to open his heart for someone else. No, that was a freaking lie. He wanted to open his heart for Emil. Only Emil. Every touch would burn into his skin, every whispered word would continue to echo through his mind even hours later. The touch on his face, the lips pressed against his wrist and even the fingers in his hair. Nier wanted it. 

Wiping the tears away, Nier mumbled his goodbyes as he headed towards his home. Weiss made no move to follow him and he was grateful for it. He had too many emotions and thoughts he needed to get through.

And as he dragged his body to his home, Nier felt like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

 “That one looks like a dog!” Yonah expressed with excitement in her voice as she pointed towards the sky. Nier merely snorted in amusement. 

“That’s the weirdest dog I’ve ever seen. Does he have two tails?” he asked, entertaining his sister’s vast imagination. He couldn’t really see what she was seeing in those white puffy clouds but then again he had lost his childlike imagination a long time ago. 

“That’s his leg, silly!” the girl giggled, causing Nier to smile fondly. The two siblings had laid down in the grass not too far away from their home as Nier had promised to take a day off from work and other very important meetings. Yonah had been overjoyed though because of her recent coughing he had decided not to overdo it. Laying around and seeing weird things in the sky should be adequate activities for a sick child. 

“My bad, my bad. Now I totally see the dog. What’s his name?” Nier asked. After everything that had happened in the last couple days he was glad to finally have a break. He needed the time and privacy though at that moment he didn’t want to worry about anything but his sister. He had successfully avoided the library where he knew he would find Popola and Weiss, as well as the tavern where Devola usually hung around. A part of him knew that he couldn’t keep this little game of hiding up but maybe just another day he could pretend that his foster aunts weren’t doing such cruel things behind their backs. 

“Nier!”

The boy made a questioning sound in his throat as he stared up at the clouds, unseeing. “What is it, Yonah?”

“No, no! The name of the cloudy dog! It’s Nier!” 

Pushing himself up, Nier raised a brow as he stared down at his sister. His response was a simple giggle as she looked at him with eyes full of happiness. “Dogs are loyal and nice and super sweet and energetic! Just like you!”

His gaze softened and Nier ruffled his sister’s hair affectionately. “I feel quite honored that you think so highly of me. Come on, what would you like to do next?” When Yonah tried to sit up, Nier was already by her side, offering her some extra support so she wouldn’t have to strain herself. The girl crossed her legs and tapped her chin as she took great time deciding what she felt like doing. Nier had already read a book to her, had allowed her to watch him work in the garden and now they had watched the clouds and their funny forms. 

“Flower crowns! Can we make flower crowns? Pretty please?” She finally said, her eyes wide and round like those of puppies. Nier laughed and shook his head at the obvious manipulation she was trying on him. He would have agreed anyway but now with that adorable expression there was no way he could even consider saying no.

“Okay, okay. You’ve won. But just so you know, one day when you’re all grown up that face won’t work on me anymore. Here, let me help you up.”

Yonah squealed in excitement and offered her hands for Nier to take. He slowly pulled her onto her feet and together they walked over to the Eastern Gate of the village. Countless daisies and dandelions covered the ground and Nier watched as Yonah chose a place for her to sit. She immediately began to choose the perfect flowers for her crown and apparently she was quite picky in her choices. For a moment Nier simply stood by and watched her. The happiness he felt whenever he was around her would always be deafened by the reality breathing down his neck. Nier knew that he didn’t have a lot of time left until she would be too weak to fight the black disease. He also knew that he was nowhere close to a cure yet. And now, on top of all that, when he looked at Yonah he couldn’t help but be reminded of another sister who was waiting for her brother. 

Belatedly Nier noticed Yonah trying to get his attention and he shook his head to clear his mind. Right, yeah. He needed to focus on the present.

“Sorry, Yonah. I was lost in thought.” Nier walked over to his sister and sat down next to her, plucking a few flowers and adding them to his own collection. He could feel the girl’s eyes on him and when he looked to check, Yonah was giving him her best pouty look. 

“What is it?” he asked with genuine curiosity. His sister sighed in exaggeration and went back to choosing daisies for her accessory. 

“You’ve been thinking a lot lately, even when you spend time with me. You are always somewhere else up there.” She tapped her own head. “Is something wrong?” 

“I…” Nier wasn’t quite sure how to reply. He hadn’t realized just how perceptive his sister was and he couldn’t shake off the sudden feeling of guilt. “Sorry… Sorry, a lot has happened in the past few weeks, I guess. But I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

He watched for a moment as Yonah began to carefully bend the daisies. She was delicate with the plants and after hours of having done this she had truly become a master in flower crown making. If he could, Nier knew he would take Yonah to Emil’s flower field. She would love it there.

“Stupid brother!” Yonah suddenly exclaimed, catching Nier off guard. He blinked at her with a slightly dumbfounded expression. “Of course I worry about you! You’re all I have left and I hate seeing you sad. You can tell me if something makes you sad, we are a family, aren’t we?” 

“Yonah, I—” 

“Talk to me, Nier! You’re my brother and I love you and I wanna help you… But you never let me in… Please don’t push me away...” Her voice wavered with the last words and before Nier knew what was happening his little sister began to cry. The sight rested heavily on his heart and he opened his arms for her to come closer. The girl practically fell into the embrace and Nier held her close as she began to sniff. 

“I’m sorry, Yonah… I had no idea…” Nier placed his hand on his sister’s head and began to play with her hair. 

“I will tell you, alright? But please don’t cry. Today is just for you and me, we want it to be a happy day, don’t we? So no more tears. I need you to be super smart for me because there are a few things your brother can’t figure out.” 

Yonah looked up at him with tears in her eyes, hesitation in her actions. “Really? You will tell me?” she asked in a whisper and Nier nodded. It was enough confirmation for her to believe him and Yonah pushed herself out of his embrace so she could crawl back over to her flowers. Her body was still shaking with quiet sobs but she was quick to wipe her tears away as if nothing had happened. 

Once she was ready, she nodded as seriously as she could. It almost made him laugh. 

“Okay, let me try and sort things out…” Nier wondered what parts he could address, exactly. Devola and Popola were off the table. Telling his little sister that her favourite friends were two people who chose who was enough of a shithead to be turned into stone was first of all difficult to explain and second of all a terrible idea in general. He also couldn’t speculate about the curses so that whole topic fell off the table as well. That only left one lingering topic which, ironically, was the one he wanted to talk about the least. 

But Yonah looked at him with expectations. 

With a deep sigh, Nier looked down and began to clumsily make his own flower crown. He just needed a distraction so he didn’t have to look at Yonah. 

“I met someone… around a month ago, I guess.”

“Are they nice??” Yonah interrupted though she quickly zipped her mouth when Nier sent her a look. When she demonstratively threw the key away, he reluctantly continued. 

“He is nice, yes. But anyway… I met him and he helped me find ingredients for your medicine. I went back to thank him and from then on… I would sometimes end up visiting him again after having finished a few jobs.” 

Nier wanted to die. The embarrassment he felt of telling his sister out of all people was catching up to him and there was little he could do to escape. Now that Yonah knew about the existence of someone she wouldn’t stop asking questions until she knew everything. Nier hid his reddening face behind his collar and focused hard on the daisy in his hands. 

“He became my friend and we found out that we had a lot in common… He also has a sister, for example. One that he loves and worries about a lot… Whenever we would meet he would be super sweet to me. He would go out of his way to help me with jobs, he would offer me food and drinks, and he would make sure that I felt comfortable. In general his personality is a kind one, I guess. He is soft spoken but he doesn’t just accept everything you might throw at him. He wears his heart on his sleeve, too. Whether he’s sad or excited or confused, you just can tell immediately. And above all else he’s… He’s selfless. He puts everyone first even if he’s in a bad spot himself… And…” Nier uselessly gestured around, trying to find the right words. “He doesn’t expect anything in return. He gives and gives and gives and then he’s all surprised when I say something nice or return the kindness. He has been hurt a lot in his past and yet he’s still so optimistic and bubbly. It’s admirable, how he can still see the best in everyone even after everything…” Twirling the flower between his fingers, Nier’s eyes and voice softened. “He says he’s weak but I don’t see that. I think he is incredibly strong.”

 When Nier got no response for quite some time he realized that he had been rambling. Wide eyes looked up and he had expected Yonah to have gotten bored enough to go back to her flower crown but when he made eye contact with his sister, he saw how she had placed her head onto her hands. She was looking at him with a wide grin and Nier was taken aback by such a reaction. 

“You like him.” she singsang, followed by a giggle. His mouth opened and closed like that of a fish but Nier was at a loss of words. His sister hadn’t been that upfront before. 

“I-I don’t… It’s not like… Sure, he’s nice but…” Nier groaned and fell onto his back, his face covered by his hands. “I don’t know.” he finally admitted through muffled fingers. “I think a part of me likes him maybe? But I… I’m scared.” 

He could hear some rustling and when he peeked through his hands he could see Yonah sitting next to him. She was hovering over him, her head tilted in an adorable way. “Why are you scared? Isn’t liking someone a good thing? The flower lady always looks happy when she talks about her husband, I don’t think she is scared.”

Nier shrugged his shoulders. “I… I don’t want to get hurt.” he quietly admitted. “After dad and mom and so many others passed away I kinda got scared of making friends.”

“Because they could leave you?” Yonah asked and it was incredible how sharp she truly was. Nier never gave her enough credit for this. He didn’t reply but there was no need to. His sister still looked at him with childish confusion. 

“That’s kinda stupid.” she concluded, leaving Nier speechless. “Friendships are like flowers, brother! You don’t know what will become of them but you grow them anyway in hopes they will become big and pretty and strong! And not all of them will make it but when they bloom they are worth it, right?” 

He looked at his sister, unable to formulate a single word. Yonah continued nonetheless, even booping his nose. “I remember asking you about our garden when you threw away lots of bad harvest. And you said that just because you grew bad tomatoes once you couldn’t just stop forever. You planted new tomatoes over and over again and eventually they started to grow. And the ones that did grow gave us delicious food! But not planting anything out of fear they might go bad is really stupid. We could have never made that yummy soup if you had stopped after the first few tries!” 

Yonah placed both hands onto his chest and leaned on top of him, pressing all air out of his lungs. Nier began to cough and sat up, having to remove her hands in order to catch his breath. Instead of being offended, however, his sister raised her arms. 

“See, you just grew and blossomed! I didn’t know for sure it would work but I tried and here you are, a blooming flower! And now I can hug you!” Yonah, ever the girl of her words, wrapped her arms around Nier’s neck. He just barely managed to keep his balance but with his sister now in his arms, Nier tried to process what she had just told him. 

“So your point is that… That I shouldn’t be that scared of losing someone that I wouldn’t even try in the first place? That I should risk it anyway because it could work out?” 

Yonah leaned back in the embrace and nodded enthusiastically. “The Nier I know would do everything he could to make things come true. He doesn’t accept a no and he will try over and over again until he reaches his goal. Because my brother is the best!” 

Nier didn’t mind the tears swelling up. He didn’t wipe them away and neither did he try to hide them. Instead, he pulled Yonah close again and hid his face in her neck as he allowed himself to cry. 

“When have you become this wise?” Nier laughed through his tears. His sister hugged him tightly and after a few minutes they finally let go. With another laugh he cleaned his face with his shirt and cocked his head when his sister looked at him with a smile. 

“What’s his name? What does he look like? Tell me more!” 

And with a soft smile, Nier began to answer her every question as best as he could.

Chapter Text

Nier knew that he couldn’t hide forever. It was a stupid idea to hope that his absence wouldn’t be noticed eventually but on the morning of the third day (counted from the moment he had first returned to the village) Nier finally decided to return to his life as a delivery boy. 

And so, with what little courage he had managed to gather, Nier pushed the heavy doors to the library open. It was odd to see that nothing had changed and yet he looked at the place with completely new eyes. The door that led to the basement, one that he had never paid attention to, now just begged to be stared at by him. Nier walked towards it, as he had to, but knowing what lay underneath him still sent a shiver down his spine. 

Before he could reach the first set of stairs, a hand came to rest on his arm. He had been so lost in thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed the presence of someone else in the library. 

“Good morning, lad. It appears you have been doing well?” Weiss asked conversationally. His tone spoke of nothing but polite smalltalk and yet Nier knew that the question went deeper. He sent his companion a small smile and nodded. 

“I’m doing good. The day off with Yohna has helped a lot and now I’m ready to throw myself back into some work.” Nier looked over to the stairs before hesitantly turning back to Weiss.

“I could use your help with something… Say, do you consider yourself an artist? I might have a request for you.” he asked. Weiss eyed him with suspicions but soon he seemed to catch on. The hand on his arm squeezed for a moment before letting go and the smile Weiss sent him was genuine. 

“I would consider myself a man of arts, certainly. I think for the purpose of a simple sketch my techniques should be sufficient enough. Seek me out once you have finished your business here and I will see what I can offer.” 

Returning the smile with his own, Nier felt his heart squeeze. “Thank you… Weiss.” The two friends said their goodbyes and though some thoughts were left unspoken Nier knew that Weiss was watching him as he walked up the stairs. His skin began to crawl but he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. 

When he opened the wooden door to Popola’s office, it was with a practiced smile. “Good morning, Popola.” 

“Oh, morning Nier! I haven’t seen you in a while, I was starting to get worried. I feared you might have gotten into some trouble.” 

And Nier wanted to believe her, he desperately did. Just like always Popola was sitting on her personalized chair in front of a table that was just littered with papers. Books were stacked in the shelf behind her and Nier’s eyes lingered on those for just a second too long. 

“Sorry for worrying you. I guess I had a little burnout and just needed a couple days for myself. I spent some time with Yonah though, it was definitely worth it.” 

Popola eyed him for a short moment before sighing with a smile. “Well, it’s good to see you back on your feet. I got a job or two for you if you feel well enough to take them on? The blacksmith needs your help and the chicken lady needs a young boy with muscles. What do you say?” 

Relief flooded him almost immediately. Popola didn’t know that he knew. They could just go back to playing their little game and Nier didn’t have to worry yet. The smile he sent her this time felt genuine and he nodded with enthusiasm. “I’m all ears.”

It had been three days since Nier had left in a hurry. Emil couldn’t deny that he was worried. Of course he wanted to know how his friend was doing but Nier had asked for time and Emil would give it to him. 

Besides, it wasn’t like he could just visit the village and check up on the other. 

Sitting in the middle of his flower field, Emil hummed to himself. His hands soon found the flower he had been looking for and he carefully plucked it from the ocean of colors. He got back up and walked over to where his friend was leaning against a tree. For some reason Kainé hadn’t left again. Sure, she had said that it was because there were no, and he quoted, “shit-hogs asking for their asses to be handed to them” back in The Aerie but Emil could see through her excuse. She was worried about him and with his emotional state she didn’t want to leave him alone. 

It was sweet of her. 

And so, Emil tried his best to repay her kindness with little actions. 

“What you got there?” Kainé asked from his right and Emil slightly corrected the path he was walking so he could actually meet her. 

“It took a really long time but I’m finally happy with the outcome. Lean down, please!” 

He could hear some shuffling noises as Kainé probably pushed herself off the trunk. Her warm breath soon reached him and the moment Emil knew that she had leaned down a little, he carefully reached out. First he touched her forehead. His fingertips ghostly moved over her face until he found her ear. With his destination found Emil began to carefully place the flower behind her ear. He was smiling proudly. Sure, he couldn’t see the result but he knew in his heart that Kainé was as pretty as she was kind. His friend made a questioning sound and when Emil pulled his hand back, he was rocking back and forth on his heels. 

“They need great care and most of them withered away but I managed to cultivate a few! It’s a Lunar Tear, do you like it? They say it’s a rare flower that can make any wish come true! And you granted me my wish when you became my friend so… So I want to return the favor.”

There was a beat of silence. And then another. Emil listened closely to Kainé’s breathing though he could hear her holding back something. Eventually a hand came to rest on top of his head and his hair was ruffled by gentle fingers. 

“Thank you… Emil.” Kainé mumbled and that was enough for him. With a bright smile he grinned and nodded, happy that he had done something nice for his friend. 

He returned to his spot in the flower field and started watering the plants. A familiar song was hummed as Emil focused on the task again though he did hear Kainé starting to move. 

“You think he’ll be back?” She asked but there was no reason for clarification. There weren't a lot of options to choose from. Emil carried the watering pot back to the nearby river and retrieved some more water. 

“I trust him. If he says he’ll be back then he will. I may not know when… But I will wait for him.”

Straightening his back, Emil held onto the pot with both arms as he stared into the direction of Kainé. He had been curious for a while now but he wanted to ask anyway. 

“What do you think of him? Our… Our group of friends didn’t start on the best foot but…” He didn’t finish the thought. Remembering Kainé and Weiss insulting each other was still a fresh memory. And Nier leaving might not have left the best impression either. 

 “For a kid that was all buddy buddy with those shitty twins he sure came out okay.” Kainé said with nonchalance. “Bit naive, bit more dense, kinda moronic. Got a good heart though, I guess.” 

“Kainé!” Emil whined from where he was. He put the water pot down and rubbed his slightly sore arms before crossing them in disapproval. “Don’t be rude. I think he did great learning about everything in such a short time. And he is really supportive and kind and he just accepts us all without any hesitation. His touch is warm and he compliments me for even the smallest things and there is no fear or doubt in his voice when he talks to me.” Lowering his head, Emil began to rub his wrist. “He called me a friend so quickly and then… And then he just continued even after seeing how my curse works…”

“You really fell for that kid, huh?” Kainé said rather flatly but there was no mockery or taunting in her voice. She wasn’t making fun of him. Rather, it appeared as if she wanted Emil to admit it to himself. 

Emil, however, began to wave his hands in front of his body as if trying to get rid of these accusations. His cheeks became a rosy color and he stumbled over his words several times before he could even dream to formulate a coherent sentence. 

“It’s not that! Really, Nier is a great friend and I’m happy to have him and if he were to never come back I would still be thankful for the time and kindness he has shown me and you accept me as well so there is no difference between you two and I just think he’s really cool and…” 

Taking a deep breath, Emil had to stop his rambling in favor of actually breathing. The fact that Kainé clearly sounded amused by his misery didn’t help at all and in the end he knew he had to admit defeat. With his head held low, Emil dropped his shoulders. His hands reached for his scarf and he began to play with it as he sighed. 

“I like him. I really do. There is so much about him that makes me happy. He makes me feel warm and safe. When I’m with him I don’t feel like a weapon or a… a mistake. I like being near him. I like it when he grabs my hand or sits close or is in the same room as me.” Emil shrugged his shoulders weakly.

“But… But I can’t stand being with him when I’m like this. He’s nice but then again he is also nice to Weiss and all the villagers. I’m nothing special. I don’t even know if he is interested in people like me. And even if he was, I… I doubt that something like me… could ever be liked by him.” 

His voice broke off at the end and Emil flinched back when he heard rustling of clothes. Before he could take a step back, however, he was already pulled into a strong hug. He found himself being pressed against Kainé, could even hear her heartbeat against his ear. His friend wasn’t one for physical touch so this… This was new. 

“Emil you stupid idiot.” Kainé mumbled into his hair. “Just listen to me, alright?” 

He hesitantly nodded. 

“Your existence is not a sin. Don’t ever feel ashamed about the way you are. All of you… Your eyes, your interests, your personality… All of these are vital parts of you. There is a reason why you are like this. And I don’t ever want to hear you doubt yourself again. You are okay just the way you are and you should never feel pressured into changing. Especially not for anyone but yourself.” 

Emil could feel Kainé leaning back in the embrace and a moment later his face was being cupped. It reminded him of the times Halua had wanted to make sure that he was listening and deep down Emil knew that he had accepted Kainé as his family. 

“Kainé…” Her name came out choked and Emil buried his face back into her chest as he hugged her tightly. His friend rubbed his back soothingly and allowed him to cry. They weren’t tears of sadness. Rather, Emil felt overwhelmed with relief. Gratefulness. And affection for his best friend. 

“Either he will like you the way you are or he’s dumber than that shitty book fanatic. And if it’s the second way then good fucking riddance, you deserve better. But I saw the way he looked at you, Emil. You shouldn’t worry.”

Lifting his head, Emil looked up at his friend. He made a questioning sound in his throat, quietly asking for an explanation. 

“You can’t see it but he glanced at you a lot. He smiled when you leaned against him, he looked fine sitting next to you and when you two had your moment in front of the door he looked pretty reluctant to leave. I don’t think he gives a shit about what you were turned into, Emil. He seemed pretty interested in the person you are, not the powers you possess.”

Rubbing at the itchy bandage, Emil tried his best to stop crying. Kainé probably had no idea how much her words affected him but he would keep them in his heart for as long as he was alive. The doubts and fears were replaced by a warmth he was finally ready to embrace, and Emil found himself chuckling. 

“I-I’m just a big scaredy cat. I don’t want this to… to ruin the friendship we have…” 

Kainé’s reply was to gently bump him on his head. “Is his stupidity rubbing off on you? Emil, listen. That kid didn’t bat an eye when you turned guys into stone in front of him. He was by your side when you told him about Halua and he wasn’t fazed by you calling yourself a weapon. Do you really think that just because you might admit to liking him he would drop you like a foul potato? Even I call fucking bullshit on that. Listen up, Emil. You’re a handsome guy who is way too sweet for his own good. Either he’ll accept that or I’ll make his life a fucking hell for him.”

Her hand squeezed his shoulder and Emil smiled at the fiery dedication of his friend. Kainé was the true kind one here. 

“It’s your choice, Emil. But I will be here regardless of your decision. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” 

Emil wasn’t sure what to say. He felt overwhelmed by his emotions and the love and affection he felt for his best friend had formed a lump in his throat. Whatever he had planned to say was finally interrupted when Sebastian’s caw echoed through the flower field. His head instantly moved into the direction the crow had been coming from and Kainé made a questioning sound.

“Do you expect any guests?”

“No… No, I-I wasn’t informed of anyone…” 

His heart began to swell with hope. He couldn’t move, not even when Kainé let go of him and disappeared. All Emil could do was stand in the middle of the flowers as the rustling of bushes became louder and louder. The incoming footsteps were almost drowned out by his racing heartbeat but Emil had come to recognize them anywhere. 

A male. Young. Not even of age yet. 

“Emil! There you are!” 

And without hesitation Emil ran over to the one he had longed to meet again, calling out the name that had become so dear to him. “Good morning, Nier!”

Chapter Text

The moment Emil hurried over to him, a bubbly excitement in his movements, Nier knew in his heart that he had come to a decision. The sight was a beautiful one, really. The dozens of colorful flowers would attract anyone’s attention and yet here he was, only focusing on the boy who came to a stop several feet away from him. Nier could tell that the other had been crying. There were wet spots all over the blindfold though it didn’t seem like Emil was faking his happiness. Maybe they had been good tears then. 

“Someone seems excited… What were you doing out here?” Nier asked conversationally. He wasn’t quite sure with what intention he had come here today, all he had known was the wish to see his friend again. And now that Yonah knew about Emil she had been more than thrilled to kick him out in the early hours. 

Placing his hand onto his bag, Nier could feel the faint outline of his request to Weiss. 

“Nothing special, really. I was watering the plants with Kainé. The past couple days were quiet enough that I could finally come back here and take care of them.” Emil was rocking back and forth on his heels, his arms behind his back. Nier finally looked around and true to his words, Emil had watched over the flowers. How someone could cultivate this many types was still beyond Nier but then again Emil had proven his capability over and over again. It had only taken Nier a while to realize it. 

“How have you been? Are you alright? A-Are you sure you’re okay with coming back already?” 

Nier could hear that Emil tried to cover up his insecurities with his voice. And to the blindfolded boy it might have worked. But Nier could see the way those fingers clung to the scarf again. He cocked his head and after a moment of hesitation Nier wrapped his hand loosely around Emil’s wrist, trying to get him to relax. 

“I’m good. I wouldn’t have come here if I hadn’t felt ready. Besides, the couple days weren’t exactly the same without you. I’m happy to be here, don’t worry.” 

Nier shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the way Emil visibly brightened up at his words. He had something he wanted to do. It was just a matter of how to tackle it. 

His eyes moved down when Emil began to wiggle in his hold. For a split second Nier wondered whether the other wanted him to let go but after some fidgeting Emil managed to move enough so he could hold his hand. Nier’s skin tingled wherever the other touched him and he had to swallow the sudden emotion. 

“Hey… Emil? Let’s head to the study room. I’d like to listen to your music if that’s okay with you.” 

His friend seemed caught off guard by his request but there was no hesitation when he agreed. As they walked through the forest back to the manor, Nier listened to Emil ramble on about his little camping sessions with Kainé. 

And Nier enjoyed every second of it. 

The study room hadn’t changed since he had first been here almost a month ago. Nier entered the room after Emil and looked around. The bookshelves were still left untouched. The faint dust on the tables had become just a bit thicker. And the all too familiar cobwebs were still hanging in their favourite corners. 

Nier felt at home. 

Sauntering over to the piano, he ran his fingers over its smooth surface. No matter how abandoned the rest of the manor was, it seemed like Emil was taking great care of the instrument. He could see his reflection in its black color. On paper he looked just like back then too. Nothing had changed about him, really. Same old hairstyle, same old clothes. 

And yet it felt like so much had changed. 

When Emil took a seat in front of the piano, Nier stayed where he was. He watched quietly as Emil shook his hands out to get rid of any unnecessary tension. It had been a routine Nier had seen dozens of times now and yet he could never get used to the moment just before Emil would start playing. The first note sent a shiver down his spine and Nier found himself leaning against the piano, listening closely to the music. 

Sacrifice had become Emil’s go to song. Not like Nier minded, really. It seemed like this song in particular was personal to Emil so for his friend to share it with him so willingly was always a sign of trust. No matter how often he had heard it by now, Nier didn’t grow tired of the unspoken emotions and thoughts Emil put into every single note. There was an odd sense of peacefulness in the middle of sadness. 

Closing his eyes, Nier simply listened for a minute or two. After his conversation with Yonah he had still thought about her words. And she had been right. He had known that. But admitting such emotions to himself also made him vulnerable. Almost the age of 17 and yet here Nier was, scared of opening himself to the world. The walls he had built up over several years had always been his saving grace but now he had started to feel trapped. A world that ended with him was a lonely one. 

The last notes echoed through the room and Nier opened his eyes to see Emil leaning back just a little. It appeared like he was waiting for Nier to speak up. 

“I… I got something for you.” he finally admitted. His heart was hammering loudly in his chest even when Emil cocked his head in confusion. 

“For… For me?” Just as always, Emil’s selfless personality couldn’t grasp the idea that someone else would do something for him. It was a habit Nier wanted to break with all his might. 

“Yeah. It’s nothing special and I didn’t make it myself but… I guess you could say I commissioned it. Then again I didn’t pay for it so can it even be called that?” 

Nier was rambling. It was unusual for him but anything was better than allowing the embarrassment to creep up on him. He fished out the thick piece of paper from his bag. It had been carefully rolled up to prevent any rips. 

“I asked Weiss for it. It turned out he is an amazing artist, who knew. Anyway, I told him I would forgive him for his little trickery if he did this for me and he did so… I guess he and I are even now. I spent at least an hour in a really uncomfortable position but I think it turned out good.”

Nier walked around the piano and removed the string that kept the paper rolled up. Smoothing out the edges, it revealed a portrait of himself. It was a close up of his face and shoulders, drawn with coal. There were no colors but then again Nier didn’t have a lot of color on himself anyway. He took Emil’s hand and handed it over to him.

“What’s this?” Emil asked, clearly not having caught up yet. Nier gently pushed him until he made some space though instead of sitting down next to the boy, Nier sat back to back with him. 

“Your eyes only petrify living beings, right?” Nier asked. 

“Uhm… yeah… I’ve never… It never triggered when I looked at my flowers.”

“Good.” was all Nier said. He slightly turned around and began to loosen Emil’s blindfold. The boy cried out in surprise and reached up to cover his eyes though Nier was quicker. He removed the cloth and held onto it.

“Nier? What are you doing, this is dangerous!” Emil said with panic in his voice though Nier simply pressed his back against his friend’s.

“It’s okay. I will hand it back over soon enough. Now look at the paper.” 

A moment of silence passed. Then another. And then another. Until finally Nier could hear the rustling of paper as Emil probably changed his hold on it. He could hear a sharp intake though when nothing else followed he began to grow restless.

“I know you can’t see me but I thought it was a bit unfair. I asked Weiss to draw me and well… That was the result. It’s close to reality, really. He did a surprisingly good job. Maybe my nose is a bit bigger and my hair isn’t that messy but—”

“You look really cool.” Emil whispered under his breath. He had said those words with so much affection and conviction that it stopped Nier’s rambling immediately. Blue eyes widened and yet Nier found himself smiling softly. He stared down at his hands and pressed back against Emil. 

“Right…” he mumbled. Personally, Nier didn’t think of himself as cool. Or pretty. Or attractive. He knew that there must have been something to his appearance, seeing as how he had been invited to drinks countless times but he had never cared about it.

Until Emil. 

The sound of paper reached him and when Nier peeked over his shoulder he noticed Emil running his fingers over the drawn lines. It was such a delicate gesture, almost as if his friend was afraid of destroying the drawing, and it warmed his heart. 

“And this is… really for me? I can keep it?” Emil asked carefully. It caused Nier to laugh at the ridiculousness. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t know what to do with a drawing of myself. I asked Weiss to make it for you, after all.” 

Nier could see from the corner of his eyes that Emil held the portrait close to his chest before rolling it back up. He was slow in his movements. Cautious, even. Like it was a treasure he wished to protect at all cost. 

“Thank you… Nier…” Emil’s voice was heavily layered with emotions he couldn’t even hope to all guess.  His hold on the blindfold tightened and Nier’s resolve was set. He returned the piece of cloth and waited until Emil was done tying it before voicing his next request.

“Emil, please turn around.” 

The boy followed his instructions immediately. Both of them moved until they could comfortably sit on the little bench in front of the piano, facing one another. Nier took in everything he could. Emil’s messy light hair, his pale but perfect skin, and the way he bit his lip when he was nervous. Every little detail, every little movement just screamed Emil to him. 

Nier took a deep breath before taking Emil’s hands into his own. He squeezed them, partially to reassure Emil and partially to calm his own nerves. 

“I… I’m not good at stuff like this. So be patient with me.” he joked. His sister’s words rang through his ears. He had to take the risk, that leap of faith if he wanted a chance at being happy. 

“I… I was young when I learned about the universe and its cruelty. When I learned that there was no one protecting the good people from harm and punishing the bad people for their acts. When my father and mother died I wondered why us? And when my sister got sick, I wondered what I had done to cause this… Through my jobs I met a lot of people. Good people, bad people, and in between. And over and over again I had to find out that the good people died. Old age, sickness, and attacks. It was always the same and eventually they all blended together. I couldn’t tell apart anymore which acquaintance was still around and which… wasn’t.” 

Swallowing the heavy feeling, Nier focused on the hands in his. 

“Bad stuff continued to happen over and over again. And I started to wonder if it was because of me. If the universe just… just hated me. I started to grow numb. I didn’t make new friends, I kept my conversations with the villagers at a minimum. I promised myself I wouldn’t get attached to anyone else anymore. Yonah became my sole focus and I thought that I would be happy just having her. After all, we were family.” 

A low chuckle escaped him as he tried to fight the tears. Nier shook his head.

“What I’m trying to say is… I thought I was happy being by myself. I had built some tough walls and I kept to my own little world. I thought I could go through life like that. And then I met you. And within days you tore my walls down, and you made me like you and care about you.” 

Letting go of one hand, Nier reached behind himself. He untied his hair and placed the ribbon onto the piano, allowing his hair to touch his neck and shoulders. Where this had once caused him to feel disgusted with himself, all it represented now was a yearning he had denied himself. Nier guided Emil’s hands up before allowing them to roam free. Cold fingers came to rest on his neck while the others brushed strands of hair out of his face. 

“You make me feel like I’m worth something, Emil. You take every bad experience of mine and turn it into something good. Hopeful. In the face of my lowest moments you tell me that it's okay. That you don't think any different…  And you made me realize how tired I was of living like this.”

Sighing, Nier leaned forward until his forehead touched Emil’s. His hair fell around him like a curtain but he didn’t mind. After all, the touch in his hair was a gentle one. 

“I’m tired of being afraid. And I’m tired of shutting myself off from this world… I want to let you into my life… If you’ll allow me.”

The room was quiet safe for their synchronized breathing. Though Nier had his eyes closed, he could feel everything. Emil’s hand in his hair, their noses touching and a foreign breath on his lips. He reached up and placed his own hand onto Emil’s neck, massaging the skin with his thumb. With his heart racing, he almost didn’t hear the whispered words.

“Are you sure you want me? Even if I’m like this?” 

“I want whatever you are willing to give me. I want all of you, Emil.” 

And when Emil’s hands grabbed his cheeks Nier didn’t resist. He allowed his companion to pull him in and when their lips finally met, Nier knew that his risk had been rewarded with everything he could have hoped for.

And maybe… Just maybe the universe wasn’t as cruel as he had always believed. Maybe it was simply indifferent and it was up to them to make a difference. If the universe was uncaring… Then he would care all the more.

Chapter Text

Their first kiss was awkward. Clumsy. Messy and uncoordinated. 

It was perfect. 

Any fears he had carried with himself, any burdens or doubts had been washed away with every word Nier had said and when he had been offered the final decision in this step Emil had known what to do. He wasn’t as eloquent as Nier but he had tried to reciprocate the feelings in his own way. 

And it had been amazing. 

When they broke away, Emil began to laugh. It started quietly enough but soon he couldn’t hold it back anymore. The emotions he was feeling were freeing. Intoxicating. And he couldn’t remember a time in the last few years he had ever been this happy. His arms wrapped around Nier’s neck and he pulled his friend into a tight hug so he could bury his face. Nier’s scent surrounded him, his warmth seeping into Emil’s skin. He never wanted to let go again. 

“I like you.” Emil mumbled when his laughter had died down. “I like you a lot. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for accepting me and giving me a chance. I’m not gonna disappoint you. I’ll—” 

But Nier was already shushing him. His friend sounded amused and Emil leaned back when he was gently pushed. Nier moved his nose against his. “This isn’t a job, Emil. You don’t have to behave any differently. I’m not expecting anything from you… Just be yourself. You’re fine the way you are.” 

And Emil believed him. He believed every spoken word that was breathed onto his lips. It took everything for him not to allow any tears from falling. Emil didn’t want to cry, even if they would be tears of happiness. At that moment all he wanted to do was feel Nier. He focused on the hand on his neck and waist, the warmth radiating from another body and every exhale he could feel on his face. Emil found peace in Nier’s presence. It felt like it was only the two of them, far away from reality. And even if his words seemed meaningless, he wanted to shout them loud. 

“You’re amazing, Nier.” And before his partner could make fun of him, Emil closed the distance for a second time that day. 

He felt a smile against his lips.

Eventually the two of them had moved away from the piano. They hadn’t exactly gotten far but both had reluctantly admitted that sitting on the bench had become uncomfortable at some point. 

Right now Emil was sitting on one of the large couches. He was sitting at one side while Nier was laying across the furniture, his head resting on Emil’s lap. His fingers were busying themselves with white hair and Emil would feel proud of himself whenever he would coax out a satisfied exhale from Nier. It felt… domestic, in a way. 

They were talking about whatever came to their mind. The different vegetables they grew in their gardens and the challenges that came with them. What food they liked and what they would never touch in a million years. Emil also shared the story of how he had found Kainé on a stormy afternoon and how he had taken her in, eventually resulting in her coming back every once in a while. He excitedly shared stories about their many camping evenings as well as the little self defense Kainé had once tried to teach him. All the while, Nier followed his every word, even throwing in remarks or comments every now and then. 

And in return, Nier told him about his own life. Emil listened to Nier’s retellings of the many places he had been. Seafront, the Aerie, even the Junkheap. He would interrupt his companion quite often and ask for more details. What did the places smell like? What were the sounds like? Did people speak differently? At some point Emil had worried that he might have gotten annoying but every time Nier would take the time to answer his questions. 

“Hey, Emil?” Nier eventually asked. His voice sounded a bit hoarse from all the talking but neither of them had wanted to get up for some water. The boy in question hummed, signaling that he was listening. 

“I have a question but you can say no if you want to. It’s an idea I’ve been thinking about for a few days now… Since I talked to Yonah, actually. But you can just decline it, got it? I’m not expecting you to be on board so just be honest.”

This certainly caught his attention. Emil’s fingers stilled their movement and he couldn’t help but tense up just a little bit. “... Okay.” he finally agreed when he noticed Nier waiting for an answer. 

There was some rustling when Nier pushed himself up into a sitting position. Though Emil was missing the comfortable weight on his lap he allowed his partner to readjust his position. The couch next to him dipped down when Nier took a seat and a moment later their hands intertwined. 

“I was wondering… If you’d like to accompany me back to the village?”

Before panic and fear could arise within him, Nier quickly continued.

“Just- Just for a day, I mean. You know, accompany me in the morning or noon and then stay for a couple hours. You could either stay overnight or I could take you back to the manor but… But I was thinking about how I’d like to show you where and how I live. And Yonah really wants to meet you… My house isn’t in the middle of the busy village, it’s more secluded with no imminent neighbors.”

Emil could hear the anxiety in Nier’s voice. He could tell that this request was one that meant a lot to his friend but it was also clear that Nier had considered the cons as well. Both of them could pretend that the world was okay all they wanted, though in the end they couldn’t be blind to the truth. Taking Emil into the village that was overlooked by Popola and Devola was a dangerous and reckless idea. Emil had never tried to leave his manor before, there had never been a reason to do so, so neither of them knew how the twins would react. It almost seemed like an endless list of reasons existed why he shouldn’t agree to this ridiculous request.

But Emil wanted to. 

When a hand came to rest on his cheek he instinctively leaned into it. This was Nier, after all. A boy from a small village who had somehow gotten tangled up into this whole mess. And Emil wanted to believe that Nier was stubborn enough to even defy fate. 

“It would be dangerous…” Emil mumbled.

“I know.”

“And really stupid...” Emil added.

“Incredibly so.”

“You wouldn’t leave my side, would you?” he whispered. 

“Not even for a minute. I’ll keep you safe.”

Closing his eyes behind the blindfold, Emil exhaled slowly. He was still scared but he wanted this. 

“Okay. I’ll come with you.”

It was weird, carrying a small backpack with him. Emil had insisted on taking a few items with him but now that the bag was hanging off his shoulders he truly realized how little possessions he actually had. For such a huge manor there was ridiculously little Emil wanted to take with him. In the end he had settled on several blindfolds as well as a change of clothes. They were standing in the main hallway and even though Emil couldn’t see his home right then, he still looked around. 

“Are you ready?” Nier asked from his left. While it was true that he wouldn’t even be gone for more than 24 hours Emil still felt like he was saying goodbye to his home.

“Just one moment.” he whispered. Emil cleared his throat and the next time he spoke up, his voice was significantly louder.

“Kainé?”

A second or two passed with no response but soon a door opened somewhere upstairs. The sounds of heels echoed through the empty hall and Emil waited a few seconds before continuing. 

“Nier invited me over to his place. Would you be so kind and watch over the manor and Halua for me?”

“Are you sure about that, kid? The shithole might not be the best place to show yourself. If those two bitches even dare to lay a hand on you—”

“I won’t let them.” Nier chimed in. He stepped closer to Emil, his voice strong and unwavering. “I’m aware of the dangers. But I and Weiss will be there for Emil. It’s true, Popola and Devola pretty much raised me but I will not stand by if they try anything. You have my word that nothing will happen to Emil, Kainé. I will be by his side, that’s a promise.” 

Emil could only guess that in the following seconds those two exchanged looks. Kainé was probably searching for any lie in Nier’s words while Nier held her eye contact. A warm feeling spread through his body and Emil smiled to himself. He was truly lucky to have such amazing and protective friends. 

“If I’m not back by tomorrow noon you can look for me, Kainé. But I will be super careful! I just really want to meet his sister, and see how he lives. Pretty please? I will be on my best behavior!” 

Hearing a defeated sigh, he knew he had won. Nier was standing behind him now and a hand found his. Holding onto his partner, Emil leaned back against a strong chest. He wasn’t embarrassed to show his affection in front of others. Especially if that other person was Kainé. 

“Fine. But I’ll burn the shithole down if you’re not back by tomorrow. This is your one and only warning, kid. Watch over Emil.” 

Leaving footsteps signaled that the conversation was apparently over and Emil sighed in relief. He turned around and grinned brightly at Nier. “Before we leave, I just wanna quickly go to the flower field. I want to grab something!” 

Nier, of course, had no reason to say no. Emil was firmly dragging him into the direction of his secret garden and on his way he whistled sharply. It was soon returned by a nearby caw and Emil felt more at ease, knowing that his little bird would be with him as well. 

He let go of the warm hand in order to walk into the ocean of flowers. Carefully he lifted the blindfold just enough that he could more or less make out which plants surrounded him. It took a bit of searching but eventually he had found what he had been looking for. With a small kitchen knife from his bag he began to cut the stems of several flowers until he had half a dozen of them. Emil got back up onto his feet and lowered the blindfold before returning to Nier’s side. 

“What flowers are those?” his friend asked curiously and Emil held them out for a better view.

“They are called Lunar Tears. Do you think your sister will like them?” 

There was a beat of silence. “What the— Lunar Tears ? You are growing Lunar Tears? Emil, those are incredibly rare!”

The disbelief in Nier’s voice amused him to no end and Emil shrugged his shoulders as he held the flowers close to his chest. “I’m not sharing my secrets! Now say, will she like them?” 

Nier huffed but there was no way Emil would tell him how he had gotten his hands on such an incredibly rare flower. The boy was surprised when his companion removed one of the flowers from his hold but not soon after he felt Nier brush his hair aside to place it behind his ear. Emil’s face began to heat up and he lowered his head in embarrassment though a gentle hold on his chin prevented him from looking away. 

“She will love them.” Nier whispered against his lips. “Though they look good on you too.” 

Emil hummed when he was pulled into a kiss. 

He was excited for this little adventure.

Chapter Text

Nier had faced countless challenges in his life. Whether in battle, in the form of a job or while searching for necessary materials. He was no stranger to pushing his limits and Nier had never been one to back down from a difficult situation. 

So why was he so freaked out by the idea of introducing Emil to his sister?

A part of him knew it was ridiculous to be nervous. Emil was a sweetheart, Yonah was a sweetheart, and they would probably get along just fine. Maybe it was the idea of making it official that scared him. Or for him to admit to anyone besides Emil that he truly wanted this to work out. Whatever the case, Nier wiped his sweaty hands on his pants for the third time already. At least Emil had the decency not to point it out.

“We’re almost there.” he mumbled under his breath. They had exited the forest just a minute ago and all that was left now was to walk towards the southern gates of the village. He felt guilty, in a way. Sure, Nier had warned Emil about them having to cross the shopping district first but now that they were actually close he could feel his friend tense up. Emil pretty much clung to his arm when they walked past the heavy wooden doors and Nier came to a stop when the noises of the village washed over them.

“It’s okay. Walk when you’re ready, we will go at your own pace.” 

 From somewhere behind him Nier could hear the fluttering of wings. He looked over his shoulder and just as expected, the ever so loyal Sebastian wasn’t too far away. It would look odd if a blindfolded boy walked into the village with a pet bird on his arm and so they had told the crow to keep its distance. How Sebastian could understand them was still beyond Nier. 

“I’m with you, Emil. Three minutes and we will be through. You trust me, right?”

The trembling boy hanging from his arm hesitantly nodded. It was hard to believe that Emil, sweet and scared Emil, could turn this whole village into a ghost town if he wanted to. He was the most powerful being in this place and yet he was afraid of the people. 

It was one of the reasons why Nier liked him so much. 

“I-I’m ready.” Emil voiced after another minute of psyching himself up. Nier simply nodded and placed his free hand onto Emil’s arm, not minding the other holding onto him. 

“At your own pace.” Nier mumbled as a reminder when they walked forward. 

The village was buzzing with life. It was around noon and everyone was out and about. Countless conversations were held around them, sellers called out their prices, and others complained loudly about whatever had annoyed them this time. To Nier, it was all just background noises. Rarely did he ever pay attention to what was going on, and only when he was directly addressed did he focus on what was happening around him. Emil, however, seemed to be the opposite. His friend’s head snapped to and fro, seemingly trying to register everything at once. Though he couldn’t see, Emil stretched his neck to look around them and Nier wondered what it was like for his friend. As someone who had lived in a lonely manor for so many years all of this must have been quite overwhelming. But while Emil appeared clearly intimidated, there was also a childlike curiosity to his behavior. 

“What are they selling over there?” he would whisper to Nier. “I can hear music, where is it from?” Emil would ask. Soon enough did the boy grow just a bit more confident and the hold on Nier’s arm would lessen enough for it to be comfortable. 

“Good afternoon, Nier.” the flower lady greeted him from across the street and though Emil did hide behind him, his friend quickly peeked up when a certain scent reached him. 

“Afternoon, Rose. How’s your son?” 

“Just as lively as always. I wish he would calm down a little, I’m slowly getting too old to keep up with all his energy.” 

Nier smiled politely though it quickly turned genuine when Emil squirmed under his arm to come a bit closer. A small idea came to his mind and Nier returned his attention to the florist. 

“Say, Rose... Got anything interesting in stock?” 

The woman brightened up immediately, probably smelling the possibility of making some money. Nier watched her rummage in some of her bags until she pulled out several smaller sachets. They were proudly presented on the table. 

“Yes, actually! Just this morning I received a package from Seafront. They are technically not in store yet but you’ve helped me so often that I could let you take a look at them. The golden and blue moonflowers just started to bloom over at the ocean and I was lucky enough to get my hands on some seeds.” 

Just as expected, Emil’s interest had been perked. Nier watched with amusement as his friend pushed himself in front of him, clearly having forgotten about his initial shyness. Pale fingers ghosted over the sachets and not a moment later the boy turned on his heel.

“Nier, can we—”

“Five of each please, Rose.” Nier said immediately. He couldn’t see Emil’s eyes but his whole body began to vibrate with energy. His hands were grabbed and the brilliant smile he received was worth the coins. 

“Are you sure that’s okay? I don’t want you to spend your earned money on me!” Emil quickly interrupted. The excitement had died down just a bit but Nier appreciated the thoughtfulness of his friend. Squeezing the other's hands, Nier was forced to let go in order to pay. 

“Don’t be silly. You’re my guest and it won’t cost much. Just see it as a small gift, alright?” 

Before Nier could react he was already pulled into a quick kiss. Emil beamed at him with a smile that could rival the sun and whatever he had meant to say was quickly forgotten. Whereas Nier would have usually disliked such affection in the middle of the street, this time he couldn’t get himself to care. Emil was happy, he was enjoying his time in the village. And that was all Nier wanted. Rose politely cleared her throat and the villager quickly shook his head to free himself from that mesmerizing smile.

“Sorry, got distracted for a moment.” Nier kept his head low, acting as if he was too busy counting his coins to notice the smile Rose was sending him. Once he had paid, the lady happily handed over the sachets. Nier passed them over to his friend and was just about to leave when the florist spoke up again.

“You’re wearing your hair down again. It looks nice!”

Hesitating for a moment, Nier reached up to grab a handful of hair. He looked at it, almost surprised that she had been right. “Yeah… I guess I am. It feels right.” Nier commented before saying his goodbyes. He led his friend away from the little booth and once Emil had securely put the seeds away he once again wrapped his arms around Nier’s. 

“You’re amazing, do you know that? I promise I will take great care of the seeds! It’s been so long since I planted a new type of flower, I’m kinda excited to see how it’ll go! Is there anything I have to know about moonflowers? Do they like the sun? What about the amount of water they need?” Emil tugged at his arm as if he was trying to get Nier’s attention. “Do you think I should have asked for information? What if I get anything wrong? All the coins you have just spent would be gone and it would be such a shame and…” 

“Emil.” Nier interrupted his friend. He came to a stop and reached for his partner’s head to pull him closer. Placing a lingering kiss onto the other’s forehead, Nier smiled with affection. 

“You’re worrying too much. You’ll figure the flowers out, okay? And no matter how many tries it might take you, I will supply you with the seeds. Even if I have to travel to Seafront myself. So stop panicking, okay? You’re good.” 

He reached up and readjusted the Lunar Tear that was still in his partner’s hair. Emil used the moment to lean into the touch and place a kiss onto Nier’s wrist. His heart swelled with the small but sweet gesture. 

“Sorry… You’re right, there is no need to worry…” The boy reached out and brushed some of Nier’s hair behind his ear. “Thank you, Nier. For taking me here. And for looking after me.” 

Taking Emil’s hand into his own, he intertwined their fingers. Together they walked through the remaining district of the shopping area and Nier couldn’t wait to leave the busy parts behind himself so they could reach his home. They crossed the small stone bridge and Nier noticed how Emil began to relax again. With the loud noises behind them it was easier for them both to let go of their tensions. 

“We are now in the grassy area of the village.” Nier explained. His hold on Emil tightened as he guided his friend up smaller hills and across uneven ground. “There is a fountain in the middle of this place. You might be able to hear it.”

Going silent, Nier waited until Emil nodded. “The fountain isn’t far from my house. To our left are the northern gates, they lead to the Aerie and the Northern Plains. That’s where I usually hunt some sheep and goats… Past the fountain is the big library. It’s where Weiss is most of the time…” 

It didn’t take long until they came to a slow stop. Emil made a questioning sound in his throat before Nier took a few steps forward. They had arrived at his home. It looked just like always. The mailbox to his right, the growing vegetables in the front garden and the old house that was still standing. Nothing had changed and yet Nier looked upon his home with new eyes. 

“We’re home.” he whispered under his breath. A feeling of warmth was born from his heart and Nier began to smile. This was it. He could finally connect the two lives he had come to like. Wrapping his arms around Emil’s waist, Nier pulled him into a slow kiss. The other instinctively held onto his shoulders and to Nier it truly felt like a dream come true. He could have stayed like that forever, could have held Emil forever.

If it wasn’t for the door suddenly being slammed open. 

The two boys jumped apart with their hearts in their throats and their senses on alert. Emil placed a hand onto his chest and Nier could merely glare at the young girl that was grinning at him with excitement. 

“Nier! Come on already! Don’t stand outside all day, I wanna meet him! Come on, come on, hurry up!” Yonah called from the front door. She was pretty much shaking with energy and Nier groaned loudly, hiding his face in Emil’s neck. Amused laughter tickled his ear and to his embarrassment Emil began to pat his head. 

“The resemblance is remarkable.” his friend giggled and Nier rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s get going before Yonah decides to start cooking without us. I don’t want you to get food poisoning on your first day here.” 

Whatever amusement Emil might have felt was wiped from his face and this time it was Nier who snorted.

“W-Wait, what? Nier, you can’t just say that and then not explain!” 

But Nier was already pulling Emil towards his house, not bothering to reassure his friend in any way. His earlier fear had disappeared completely and all he wanted was to see his two favourite people sitting at the same table. 

And who knew? Maybe it could one day become a regular sight for him. At least he would wish for it.

Chapter Text

With his heart hammering loudly, Nier politely cleared his throat. 

“Yonah, this is Emil. The boy I told you about… Emil, this is my sister Yonah.” 

It was in anticipation that he watched the two staring at one another. Well, more like Yonah staring and Emil fiddling around. Apparently his introductory words had been enough of an ice breaker as Emil began to move. Shyly, he removed his bag from his shoulder and pulled out the little bouquet he had prepared just for this instance. It was amazing how endurable the Lunar Tears were as not a single leaf had broken off. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Yonah. Nier has told me a lot about you and it’s clear he loves you dearly… It’s not a lot but… These are Lunar Tears. They are just for you. And if you wish hard enough it’s said that they will grant you any wish.” 

Nier watched in disbelief as Emil went as far as kneeling down just to offer the flowers. His friend probably didn’t know it but he was almost on Yonah’s eye level now. With his breath held Nier waited for his sister to react. He could see the little gears in Yonah’s head turning and finally she acted. 

With an exciting squeal, the little girl took the offered flowers before falling into Emil’s now open arms. His friend was clearly taken off guard, almost lost balance even, but Yonah didn’t seem to mind. She hugged Emil for a moment before letting go, already searching for a vase. 

“These are Lunar Tears?” She asked with open wonder in her voice. “I’ve read about them in my book. Aren’t they super rare? Thank you so much, Emil! I love them!”

And as Yonah already searched their house for an appropriate resting place, Nier sauntered over to Emil who was still kneeled down. He placed his hand onto his partner’s shoulder and helped him back up. Emil’s cheeks were slightly flushed and Nier found his heart blooming with warmth. They were going to get along. It was all he could have asked for. 

“You’re doing well so far.” Nier whispered with bemusement. He nonchalantly readjusted the flower in Emil’s hair again even when his friend tried to hide his reddening face. It was adorable, really. 

“Here, let me show you around. It’s not as big as your place but I’m sure the four rooms we got will be more than interesting. Afterwards I’ll start cooking for us. I hope you’re okay with stew, it was Yonah’s turn to choose a meal.”

Just as he had finished speaking, Yonah came back downstairs with a proper vase for the flowers. She carefully placed it onto the table, going as far as standing on her tiptoes just to push it into the middle. Nier could see how much the gift meant to her. 

“You will show him our rooms?” She asked curiously. Nier nodded and took Emil’s hand, though to his surprise Yonah was quick to take his other hand as well. Emil seemed taken aback but his sister seemed unbothered.

“You can’t see, right? I will explain our home to you.”

And from then on, Nier was only second news. He watched in disbelief as Yonah began to drag Emil through their home by his hand. She explained in detail what the kitchen looked like. The color of the stove, the different herbs they have hanging from the ceiling as well as what form her favourite spoon had. Nier simply stood aside, not quite sure if he was even needed for this little house tour anymore. 

Especially, because Emil took everything Yonah said seriously.

His friend would ask about her favourite spoon and why it was so special. He would ask about the locations behind the herbs and point out what their scent reminded him of. When it was time to move up the stairs Yonah was incredibly patient and kind. She loudly exclaimed whenever Emil had to lift his foot and together the two made their way up into her room. Nier merely leaned against the doorframe and watched with a smile as his sister made Emil sit on her bed. She gave him one item after another to hold. A book, some crayons, a potted plant. And sweet Emil asked about it all, not even faking his interest. Those two harmonized on a completely different level from Nier and all he could do was watch in silent peace as Emil asked for the content of the books. 

With a small huff Nier turned around and left the two to themselves. It was about time he got started on their food and there was no reason to interrupt whatever deep and meaningful discussion they had currently going on. Besides, it would allow him to sort his thoughts out. 

Gathering the tools and ingredients needed, Nier started off by cutting the vegetables. He could hear the faint voices upstairs and remembering both their carefree smiles was enough to put him at ease. Nier, conversely to his person, began to hum. At first he hadn’t even noticed but soon he recognized it as one of the songs Emil would play for him. 

Nier wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he heard footsteps coming down the stairs. He looked up and saw Yonah holding Emil’s hand as she helped him down the last remaining steps. She guided him over to the kitchen table and made him sit down just behind Nier. With the little home they had there wasn’t too much space for them all to move around, and Emil was their guest anyway so he didn’t expect any help. 

“Already done with your house tour?” Nier asked with a mocking tone. Yonah crossed her arms behind her back and stuck her tongue out. “I had a lot more books to share but we didn’t want you to be alone. So Emil and I decided to take our little book club down here.”

“A book club already? Am I invited too? Or is it important people only?” His tone was a light-hearted one. Nier shoved the cut vegetables into the pot and moved on to the small piece of mutton he had bought just the day prior. From the corner of his eyes he could see Yonah whisper something into Emil’s ear upon which his friend nodded in agreement. She cleared her throat and placed her hands onto her hips.

“The council has deliberated and has come to the decision that my brother Nier is allowed into the club on the condition of reading me a bedtime story.” 

Raising a brow, Nier huffed through his nose. “I think I can do that.” 

He didn’t look up from his task as Yonah squealed in happiness. He did, however, react when arms snuck around his waist. Emil was resting his head on his shoulder though it was obvious his friend had to stand on his tiptoes to do the trick. Nier smiled as he moved his head to the side so he could nudge their foreheads together for just a moment. 

“As the vice president of this book club I’d like to welcome you.” Emil said with a grin, causing Nier to chuckle. He shook his head at the ridiculousness of his friend though didn’t push him away. If Emil felt comfortable enough to be silly, why would Nier try and ruin it? 

“Yonah, please set the table for me. I’m almost done and then it only needs to cook for a little while.”

His sister agreed and climbed off her chair in order to get to work. With the necessary distraction Nier could ask the question he had been curious about. Blue eyes were still focused on the cooking task at hand but he moved his head slightly to whisper better.

“Do you even read books? Or know how to?” 

The gasp he received as an answer was full of fake offense and surprise. Emil even went as far as to pout for a good second before breaking into a small but excited smile. “I do! Plenty, actually. You’ve seen the library in the manor, right? I spend lots of time there. Usually I close the door so neither Sebastian nor Kainé can surprise me. You know, caution and all… But I adore reading.” Emil’s voice softened greatly and Nier felt the other press his head against his shoulder. It took a moment before Emil spoke up again. “Someone like me can’t see the world but I like to believe that if I read about it… Read about the ocean and rocky mountains and sandy deserts… That it makes up for it, in a way. I doubt I will ever get to see the places but when I read about them it’s almost like I’m there.” 

For a second Nier wondered whether he should pull Emil into a hug. The words had hit him more than he had expected and as someone who was travelling to Seafront on a daily basis, Nier belatedly realized that he had lost his fascination for the ocean. The first and second time he had been there, he had felt a childlike excitement but nowadays… Now he barely even noticed the sea anymore. Nier took its sight and existence for granted, and there had never been a reason to believe otherwise. 

“Emil, I…” 

“I’ve also read some really weird books though!” His friend suddenly continued in a much more cheerful voice. “One of them, apparently from a really old time, talked about attempts of growing humans in a flask. It was some weird pseudo magic and science but I think they didn’t succeed. People back then were kinda weird but at least it’s fun to read about them.” 

Putting the knife down, Nier turned around in the onesided embrace. Emil made a questioning sound and looked up at him, and there were no traces of the pain he had just allowed Nier to hear. How his friend could keep up such a strong and optimistic mask when he was hurting that deeply was beyond Nier. Heck, he had seen the ocean countless times and yet his heart bled at the idea of Emil never getting to experience such a view. He used a nearby towel to dry his hands before cupping his partner’s face. And Emil felt so fragile in his hands, like he could break at any given moment. Nier slowly leaned down and placed a single kiss onto open lips. 

“I will show you the ocean. I promise.” 

And when his eyes moved towards the Lunar Tear in Emil’s hair, he knew that he wanted this to be his wish. 

The remaining afternoon and evening was spent eating, sharing stories, and laughing. Yonah had gone off on more of her books, Emil had talked about his own favourite fairytales and Nier was both praised and dragged depending on the events Yonah chose to retell. He sat with his head in his hands and a groan on his lips as she talked about the time he had come home with his body bruised and beaten up just because the goats had ganged up on him. Emil had tried to show sympathy but in the end his friend and sister laughed about the hilarious picture she had painted with her words. 

It warmed Nier’s heart. 

The sun was getting to its lowest setting point when the mood began to suddenly shift. In one moment Yonah had been talking about the baby chicken she had raised and in the next she began to cough vehemently. Emil got up from his seat but Nier was already by her side, his brows furrowed in worry. 

“Shh… It’s okay. I got you.” he whispered soothingly. Nier carefully rubbed her back and without looking he grabbed a bottle from a nearby shelf. He numbly noted that they were running low on medicine again which eventually meant a visit to Popola. 

“Drink, Yonah…” His sister shook her head with a whine but she couldn’t even complain as another wave of coughing hit her hard. Nier watched in sadness as he quietly uncorked the bottle, holding it in front of her mouth. She weakly opened her lips just enough for him to slowly make her drink. 

“Just like that… One sip at a time… You’ll be okay… Just a bit more…” 

Nier didn’t stop until the bottle was finally empty. Yonah grimaced at the terrible taste and he smiled though it didn’t reach his eyes. Carefully he lifted his sister’s small body into his arms. “I think it’s time to sleep now. Say good night to our guest, will you?” 

With Emil already up from his seat it didn’t take long for his friend to join his side. Yonah’s eyes were unfocused but when she reached out, Emil took her hand almost immediately. 

“Good… Good night, Emil.” she whispered with a smile that pained Nier’s heart. Emil seemed to squeeze her hand gently.

“Good night, Yonah. Thank you for the nice evening and for sharing your books with me. Rest well.”

 Nier carefully and slowly carried his sister into her bedroom. He laid her down in her bed and tucked her in before brushing a few strands of hair out of her pale face. When she didn’t react immediately he had thought she had fallen asleep but soon a small hand wrapped around a finger of his. The boy furrowed his brows and sat down on the edge, not wanting Yonah to strain her body even more. 

His sister smiled at him. “You know… With… With the legend of the Lunar Tears… I think they’re true…” 

Cocking his head, Nier fluffed up her pillow some more. “What do you mean?” he asked softly. 

“I wished… for you to be happy… And the flower granted me my wish… I-I’m glad…” 

Nier halted in his movements. His heart squeezed tightly and he looked at his sister with all the adoration and love in the world. He leaned down and placed a kiss onto her forehead. “Of course I’m happy. I was chosen to be your brother, after all.”

When it appeared like his sister had finally fallen asleep, Nier quietly left the room. He was staring at the ground even when he entered the kitchen again. Blue eyes only looked up when he heard the sound of dishes. Emil had apparently taken it upon himself to clean up and though he looked a bit clumsy as he piled up the bowls, the thought alone almost caused Nier to tear up. 

“Emil.” He didn’t need to say anything else. His friend looked up from his task and walked over to him, pulling him into a much needed hug. Nier closed his eyes and took a trembling breath as he clung to Emil, thankful for the wordless comfort. He didn’t want to talk. Not like there was anything he could say. But Emil seemed to understand. A hand found its way into his open hair and fingers moved over his scalp even when he tightened his hold on purple clothes. 

“Would you like to go outside? Catch some fresh air? We could sit down at the fountain.” 

Nier slowly nodded. It hurt when Emil pulled away from the embrace but he found comfort in their intertwined hands. He walked past his partner and opened the front door for them to leave. The sky was a mixture of orange and red, something they considered night. No one else was outside and Nier was thankful for that. He didn’t want to be seen and neither did he want to explain himself. Emil was by his side not a moment later and their footsteps in the grass was the only sound he could hear as they made their way to the little fountain. Once they had sat down, Emil’s hand immediately began to draw circles on his back. 

“I’m sorry, Emil. I-I wanted this to be a memorable day for you but…” But what? How could he apologize for his emotions? For his fears and concerns bubbling up? He was struggling to find the right words but Emil shook his head beside him. 

“I haven’t had this much fun since Sebastian stole some coins from Kainé.” the smaller boy expressed. “I mean, if it wasn’t for you I would still be stuck in my manor, right? And now look at me. I’m outside of the forest, I got new flower seeds and on top of that I got to meet your sister and even have dinner with you. In a single day I got to experience more than I thought I would for the rest of my life.” 

A hand came to rest on his neck and Nier looked up from the ground just in time for Emil to kiss his forehead. His body shook with silent sobs but his partner was there to wipe the tears away that escaped. 

“What you’ve done for me today I will never forget, Nier. I will cherish these memories and I will never forget the kindness, understanding and love you have shown me today. It was perfect. And you allowed me to feel normal…” Emil smiled and wiped another tear away. Nier could only watch in choked silence, wondering when his friend had become the stronger one of them. 

“So don’t apologize. You’ve given me the greatest thing I could have asked for. Normality. And for that I’m grateful.” 

And Nier believed him. He believed every single word Emil told him. Because in his heart he knew these words to be true. Emil wasn’t simply doing things to make him feel better, this wasn’t his personality. 

Smiling through the pain and sadness, Nier rested his forehead against Emil’s. He closed his eyes and even managed to chuckle weakly. His heart bloomed with affection and in that moment he knew his emotions to be true. 

“Emil, I—” 

“Nier.” 

And it was incredible how his confession had been stopped by the simple call of his name. Emil’s body began to shake with fear and Nier found himself standing in front of his friend without realizing that he had moved. His reddening eyes were cautious as he deliberately shielded Emil from the uninvited guest. 

“Popola.” he simply said in greeting, his hands balled into fists. 

“I think we need to talk.”

Chapter Text

The atmosphere was tense. With Emil cowering behind him and the younger twin in front of him, there was little Nier could do. He wasn’t even sure if he should be disgusted with himself when his hand reached for the sword he had not taken with him. It had become a habit to draw his weapon at the first sign of danger but then again this was Popola. The one who had raised and looked after him. Conflicted thoughts crashed and he gritted his teeth, not saying anything for now. He wanted to react, rather than act.

“You’re out late.” Popola said conversationally. Her voice held no malice, no hidden intentions. If it had been any other day Nier would have laughed it off while expecting a small scolding. 

But today was different. 

“I guess I am… Can I help you?” he replied politely. It was obvious that while she carried herself with an easy air she was trying to look past him. Nier unconsciously moved just a bit to break whatever sight she had gotten. 

It didn’t go unnoticed by her.

Popola sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 

“May I talk to you for a moment? I’m afraid it is rather pressing and I would like to speak with you alone.”

A choked whimper came from behind him but Nier had already made a decision before she had finished her first sentence. 

“Whatever you would like to tell me you can do this here. I have nothing to hide.” 

Nier tried to keep his voice light. He really did. But the way her presence sent goosebumps up his arms didn’t sit right with him. The twins had always been a source of comfort and trust so why was it that he felt cornered like prey?

Popola sighed again and rubbed her arm, seemingly trying to choose her words. 

“Look, the villagers informed me about your unusual guest. I am simply concerned and would like to talk to you. You know that I would like to be informed whenever someone new enters our village and some have expressed their concerns about his… peculiar appearance. So would you please accompany me to my office? I would welcome talking to you in privacy.” 

Her words made sense. Of course they did, Popola was known to be the logical and rational one of the twins. Anything she said held meaning and made sense. 

So it was a surprise to Nier how infuriated he was quickly becoming. He took a step forward but two arms wrapped around his own, holding him back. Emil had gotten up and though his friend was hiding behind him, it seemed as if he wanted to offer Nier quiet support.

“He wouldn’t have a peculiar appearance if it wasn’t for you.” 

The words were out before he could have stopped himself. Deep inside Nier began to panic. His plan of playing dumb had just been thrown out of the window and yet seeing how scared Emil was acted as enough fuel for him to become reckless. He glared at Popola who stared at him in shock, clearly surprised that he had just thrown such accusations at her.

“Nier, I don’t understand what—”

“Drop it, Popola. I know everything, alright? I know about Emil, Weiss, and Kainé. I know that you want to pull me aside and tell me that I have to get away from him because he’s dangerous. And I’m telling you now so you can save your breath. I won’t leave with you and I won’t move from Emil’s side.”

Nier blamed his already emotionally vulnerable state for this explosion. He stood his ground even when Emil tugged at his arm. 

“Nier, you don’t have to… This is all my fault, if I hadn’t come here all of this wouldn’t have happened. I-I should leave.” 

But before the other could even dare to let go of him Nier already intertwined their hands. He looked over his shoulder to the terrified boy. “I told you I’m here for you, no matter what. I’m not leaving and neither are you, Emil. You have a right to live your life.” 

Whatever Emil would have liked to say got interrupted by Popola. 

“I had hoped we could solve this quietly. This was never meant to reach you or anyone else, Nier. So please, just let me return him to his place and we can move on like nothing happened…” She ran a hand through her hair and inspected a few strands. “I knew I shouldn’t have allowed you into the forest. That was my mistake and I do apologize for that. Regardless, he has to go back to his position. You can’t just remove him, Nier.” 

His vision began to turn red. Nier could feel his heart picking up its pace. But not because of fear but rather anger. How she could talk about Emil like he was some… some object that shouldn’t be touched was beyond him. The hold on his arm tightened but Nier barely registered Emil holding him back. Without a weapon he clenched his hands into fists until his knuckles began to turn white. He saw nothing of the woman who had comforted him when he had been at his lowest points. All he could see was a monster who had been mildly inconvenienced by him. 

“I-I’m sorry, Lady Popola. I will go back at once. But please don’t be mad at Nier, he only wanted to help me. He doesn’t deserve this, it was me who dragged him into this mess. Please blame me for this, not him.”

Any wrath he might have felt in that moment disappeared the moment Emil let go of him. Nier’s eyes widened as his friend walked past him, obviously wishing to deescalate the situation. Nier reached for Emil and he barely managed to grab the other’s wrist before he was out of reach. 

“Emil, no! You’re not going with her! You have a right to be here, you shouldn’t let others decide for you! You deserve to sit at a table with others, and have conversations about favourite spoons, and walk through the shopping area looking for new flowers! Emil, please listen!”

Panic began to arise within him. Nier had already forgotten about Popola, about the situation they were in. All he could focus on was the wrist in his hold and the sorrowful expression of his partner as Emil turned towards him. The sadness of the smile almost tore Nier apart right where he stood but he refused to let go. 

“It’s okay, Nier. I’ll be fine.”

“You seem to care a lot about him.” Popola chimed in. Nier’s heart froze all over as the woman dared to even address his relationship with Emil. A low growl escaped him and Nier pulled Emil back by his hand so he could move in front of him once again. He ignored any complaints Emil whispered, instead focusing on Popola. 

“That’s none of your business.” he spat out. Popola, on her part, didn’t seem faced by his malice. Instead she hummed and began to walk up towards them. Nier gritted his teeth and pushed Emil back behind him, unsure what the woman might have planned. 

“What if I told you I knew of a way to cure his curse?” 

Nier, whose body was still rushing with adrenaline, took a moment to fully understand her words. When he did, his eyes widened and he looked at her in disbelief. His defensive position didn’t relax but it was clear to anyone that she had caught his attention.

“What do you mean?” he forced out and the soft smile she sent him was almost too cruel.

“Just what I said. My sister and I, we work for the one who has given these abilities to Emil and your other two… friends. Don’t you think that if he can grant these powers he can also take them away?” 

Nier was embarrassed to admit that he had never even considered this. The arm that he had held out in front of Emil began to lower and his position changed into a more relaxed one. His eyes were focused on Popola, searching for any indications that she was lying… But he couldn’t find anything. 

“Is that true? He can do that? He can help Emil?” 

His mind was racing. Nier couldn’t deny how tempting this sounded. If he got to meet that guy… he could cure Emil. Emil wouldn’t have to live in that lonely manor anymore, and if the curse was gone then his sister would probably be returned to normal as well. Emil could move into the village, and they could visit Seafront and see the ocean. 

“What would it cost?” Nier found himself asking. At this point he knew that she had already won him over. No matter the price, Nier wanted to help Emil. He so desperately wanted to look into Emil’s eyes. 

“That I don’t know. But I can take you to him. He is not a malicious force, Nier. He neither gives nor takes without agreement. He can offer you a cure. And if you don’t like the price? You can decline. He will neither harm you nor your friends.”

Taking a step forward, Nier looked at the woman in disbelief. Could it really be this easy? 

“Nier, no!” 

It was Emil. His friend reached for his shoulder and turned him around though Nier was still looking towards Popola. She was smiling kindly and Nier believed her. And she knew that.

“I will leave the decision to you, Nier. Come and see me if you make up your mind. I can take you to him. And remember my words, you won’t be forced to hand anything over you don’t agree with. It’s a mutual exchange… You can always say no.” 

With that Popola excused herself. She was leaving into the direction of the village but Nier couldn’t see more as Emil grabbed his cheeks, forcing him to look away. Nier placed his hands on top of Emil’s even when the other began to cry. 

“Nier, don’t. Don’t trust her! That’s how she got me and my sister! I don’t want you to do anything stupid, I have to settle this on my own!”

Emil’s voice began to break as his blindfold showed dark spots left behind by tears. Nier’s eyes softened and he leaned in to kiss his partner’s cheek. 

“It’s okay, Emil. I don’t care—”

“But I do!” Emil cried out. The smaller boy pushed himself out of his hold and took a few steps back, thus creating distance between them. Nier felt hurt but above all else he felt concerned. 

“This is my burden, Nier! I did this to myself, I said yes to something I didn’t understand at the time! All of this — My eyes, my life, my sister! It’s all my fault! No one is to blame but me! I did this and it’s my responsibility! I can’t have you sell your soul because of the mistakes I made! I won’t let you!” 

Emil was breaking down right in front of him. The yelled words broke off too often and the boy pulled at his scarf. Nier could see the way fingernails dug into the soft cloth as Emil collapsed into himself, barely holding himself up. Tears streamed down his face and Emil was panting heavily. 

This was the truth. The pain Emil had been hiding all along. The guilt he had put onto himself, the weight of not only his own life but that of his sister that pushed down onto him. 

This was what Emil had been hiding behind a smile all this time. 

“I have to settle this myself! I have to— I, I have to…” Emil fell onto his knees. Fingers pulled at his own hair as if the boy was trying to punish himself for what had happened. 

Nier finally moved. 

Kneeling down in front of Emil, Nier gently pulled the clawed hands away from his hair. He wrapped his arms around the boy’s shoulders and pulled him close, half expecting to be pushed away. Instead, Nier found Emil clinging to him. All that pent up sadness and desperation had finally pushed its way to the surface and Nier could do little but hold his friend as Emil cried years of unshed tears. 

“You’re not alone, Emil.” Nier whispered into light hair. He closed his eyes and listened to his friend’s sobs. “You don’t have to carry this burden by yourself… I know without a doubt you would offer your help if our roles were reversed… I’m not doing this out of duty. Or because I force myself. I want to do this because I care about you. Because I want you to live with Yonah and me, want to take you to the ocean… Want you to see the world for yourself.” 

Pressing his lips against Emil’s head, Nier felt his own tears swelling up. It hurt too much, seeing the smaller boy this broken. 

“Please, Emil… Let me at least hear the price. If there is even the smallest chance that I could help you… I at least want to look into it. I can’t sit by knowing that I could have done something different.” 

Leaning back in the embrace, Nier cupped Emil’s face. He kissed a tear before wiping others away. “If you don’t want me to do this for you then remember your sister. We might be able to help her too.” 

At the mention of Halua, Emil’s sobs began to lessen. His face was slightly swollen through the crying and his hair was a total mess but to Nier he looked just as beautiful as before. He picked up the Lunar Tear that had fallen to the ground and put it back behind Emil’s ear. 

“W-We just…. just ask for the price…” Emil forced out between hiccups. Nier nodded dutifully. 

“A-And… we’re… we’re not going alone…” Emil said further.

“We’ll be together, Emil. I won’t leave you, I promise you that.” Nier whispered before pulling his friend back into his arms.

Little did Nier know that the day this promise would be broken was closer than expected.

Chapter Text

“I’m gonna tear that bitch’s eyes out and feed them to her! Who the fuck does she think she is? Weren’t we enough, huh? How many fucking psychos did they drag in front of their bullshit asshole master only for his fucking god complex to play out? I’m gonna kill them!” 

“Kainé, wait!” Reaching out, Emil quickly grabbed his best friend’s arm. He flinched when something was kicked into a nearby shelf but the following sigh reassured him enough that Kainé wouldn’t do anything reckless. 

He, Nier and Weiss had only just returned to the manor. They had picked up the librarian on their way and had left the village before the first workers went along their way. Now inside the living-room, Emil was still holding onto Kainé. Nier had just finished summarizing their late encounter and his friend hadn’t taken it the best way. 

“It pains me to say this but I must agree with the hussy. For them to offer such a tempting promise at this point in time… There is no doubt in my mind that all of this is too convenient to be coincidence.” Weiss chimed in from his position on the couch. Emil heard the soft clunking noises of a cup being placed back onto the table. He bit his lip, unsure of what to do. 

“I agree with both of you… But I can also understand Nier. And… And I do want to get rid of my curse. You too, Weiss, right? The whole reason you looked for me was because you wanted answers and even if we don’t like it, I think Lady Popola just offered us a way to get them.” Emil tried his best to negotiate between both parties. He didn’t want to gang up on Nier but he also needed his partner to understand their worries. The three of them had paid dearly for their ancient magic, and had firsthand experienced the consequences. 

“It is indeed true that I wish for nothing more than to be cured of such a burden… But to take her words at face value and trust that once we encounter this mysterious figure we will be allowed to leave if we so wish to is questionable at best. I am not quite sure how to proceed in this situation.” 

Letting go of Kainé, Emil fell back onto the couch. He leaned forward and pressed his hands against his face in a weak attempt to counter the incoming headache. A warm hand came to rest on his back and began to draw soothing circles, causing him to release a deep sigh. 

“I know it sounds fishy. But do we really have another choice? This is the closest any of you have gotten to the guy who did this to you, right? If we don’t take them up on this offer, even if it’s a trap, then who knows when you’ll have your next chance?” Nier argued from beside him. The hand on Emil’s back moved with each word and the smaller boy found himself leaning against Nier for support. He still hadn’t apologized for his yelling last night but truth be told, Emil was afraid of addressing it. The emotions he had locked away for so many years had bursted out in a moment of weakness and though Nier had been by his side nonetheless, Emil still felt bad for having yelled at him. It was truly selfish to rely on his partner’s comfort even after he had raised his voice but Emil couldn’t help it. He just wanted to be close to his friends. 

“Not like I’d want another chance.” Kainé pointed out from somewhere behind him. “I get that Emil and the book fanatic want to get rid of their powers but I don’t give a shit about these limbs of mine. So I’ll come with you if only to kick that bastard’s ass and to make sure that those fucking bitches won’t lay a hand on Emil. Cure or not, I’ll keep this arm and leg just a little longer so I can shove them up that prick’s ass and let him feel his precious curse up close and personal.” 

When Nier chuckled, Emil could hear a slight tension in his voice. “It’s good to have you on our side, Kainé.” Nier added and Emil giggled for the first time that day. 

“I know, Kainé is amazing.” Emil added as a small extra. His head was now resting on Nier’s shoulder and some of that longer hair tickled his neck. 

“I’m terribly sorry for interrupting this appreciation of the hussy but I must know, lad. Do you have any idea as to why the twins would invite you to meet their master? As far as I am aware both Popola and Devola are in possession of powerful magic themselves and if they had wished to, they could have taken at least you on. For Popola to back off and display such an offer they surely must want something from you. Are you perhaps in possession of a unique technique, ability or weapon that could have caught their interest?” Judging by the sounds, Weiss was now leaning forward in his seat. The couch squeaked slightly under the shift of weight and a moment later Nier moved as well. Emil lifted his head to give his friend more room but a warm arm quickly wrapped around him loosely, pulling him back close. Nier leaned back against the couch and managed to successfully drag Emil down with him. The smaller boy blinked in surprise behind the blindfold before relaxing into the more comfortable position. Nier’s shoulder really was nice to lean on. 

“There’s nothing special about me.” Nier said and Emil could feel the vibration of his voice. “I’m an average fighter and if anything about me is outstanding it would probably be my endurance. It’s also not like our parents left us anything of value. I’m as average as one can be.”

Furrowing his brows, Emil pulled his nose up. “You’re not average, don’t sell yourself short, Nier. Your body might be normal but there are many outstanding things about you. You’re determined, brave, selfless and empathetic. You’re one of the strongest personalities I have ever met.” He grinned. “Besides Kainé, I mean. But my point still stands. You’re unique and strong in your own ways. It’s easy to hand someone a weapon but the blade will be super dull unless the person wielding it knows how to treat it…” 

Weiss hummed in agreement. “The young Emil might actually have a point. I doubt that any of us three were physically exceptional before our transformation. Now that I think about it, we have quite the telling personalities. The hussy is harsh, direct but also true in her words and actions. She may appear as cruel, barbaric, harsh, vulgar—”

“Get on with it, book lover.” Kainé warned from beside the table. 

“— But it’s undeniable that a personality like hers is as rare as a captivating story. I, on the other hand, have always yearned for knowledge. I was never satisfied with the world at its face value and I aspired to explore everything there is to life, its meaning and purpose. In a social community like ours most are satisfied with living in their own little world but I wish to see the bigger picture.”

“And not everyone got a pompous stick up their ass like you. We got it, move on.” Kainé interrupted. Emil could almost hear her eyes rolling. He smiled to himself. 

There was a beat of silence in which Emil wondered if his two friends were glaring at each other. He mused whether he should speak up but when it came to those two, he doubted his voice would even be heard over their racing minds. 

To his surprise, Nier was the one to continue Weiss’ monologue.

“And then there’s Emil. Selfless, kind, considerate, and sensitive. He strives to do his best, works hard, and is all around one of the most loving people any of us has ever met. In a society where everyone only looks after themselves he’s clearly a personality that falls out of the norm.” Nier finished. Emil could feel his own heart racing as he listened to the high praise of the one who meant so much to him. He looked up towards Nier and though unseeing, he imagined what those drawn eyes would look like in reality. His eyes fluttered shut as soft lips pressed against his temple and Emil placed a hand onto Nier’s knee to hold onto his partner. 

“So what? That bastard is collecting mildly interesting types for his little trophy room?” Kainé summarized short and sweet. Emil looked over to where Weiss was probably sitting, waiting for the librarian to confirm or deny this suspicion.

“It is a probability, I fear. The three of us have been turned into so-called weapons, perhaps this master of theirs chooses his subjects with care. Character types that would be suitable for specific powers.” 

Furrowing his brows, something didn’t sit right with Emil. He could get behind the idea of needing a strong personality to wield a strong curse, but then he wondered why he and his sister had been chosen? Halua had always been the stronger one out of the two of them. She had been smart, cautious, and quick to think. Emil had been… himself. 

Something about all this still didn’t make sense. On paper their personalities clashed. Terribly, even. Kainé and Weiss would have been at each other’s throats in their first moments while  Nier and Emil had been ready to attack each other as well. He still remembered the sound of a sword being drawn just as he had been reaching for his blindfold. 

If someone wanted to create an army of loyal weapons, surely it would be smarter to choose personalities that would harmonize with each other. So why them? Why Kainé, who didn’t plan on playing by the rules from the beginning? Why Weiss, who used his given curse behind the back of the twins? And why him, someone who reluctantly followed orders though kept the statues safe in his backyard? None of them were shining examples, really.

“Whatever the case, this is our only lead. If that guy is interested in me then I want to hear him out. Maybe we can actually negotiate with him, or find out why he is even doing all this? Whether it’s a trap or not, I say we go. And if push comes to shove we fight.” Nier said, his voice steady and confident. Emil knew that there was little any of them could say to change his mind at this point. Nier was just that stubborn. 

With a small sigh he sat up and straightened his back. Emil intertwined his hands and hesitantly nodded. “I-I agree with Nier. I want my old eyes back and this might be my only chance to get answers. Besides, if we’re all together it will be safer. We will watch over one another and if we stay in such a big group there is no way they can get us!”

A small huff of amusement followed and Emil soon found a hand ruffling his hair. He grinned up at Kainé, relieved that she was apparently agreeing. “If the squirts go, I go. Visiting that bastard’s home would be more interesting than rotting away in this forest and if it does come to the fighting part then I can make those bastards regret ever keeping me alive. I’ll make my existence their whole ass problem.”

With three in agreement, it only meant that they needed to convince one more person. The room fell quiet as they all waited for Weiss to make his final verdict. As friends they couldn’t simply leave one of them behind and so if Weiss decided against this obvious risk they would be back at the beginning. Emil tried to listen closely to any movements in the room in hopes he could get an idea of what Weiss was doing. Eventually the couch began to squeak under a shifting weight again, followed by a sigh. 

“Against my better judgement I will agree to this trip. Though most likely a trap, it is our best and possibly only lead. We have to take this chance and see it through to the end.” 

A weight was lifted from his shoulders and Emil found himself smiling. If they were together nothing would happen to them. They would be strong, and work together, and watch each other’s backs. A thrilling emotion washed over him as Emil realized that yes — These were his friends. These were people who cared about him, and who accepted him the way he was. 

“It’s settled then. We will talk to Popola and meet that mysterious master.” 

And he promised himself that he would protect them, no matter what. 

Chapter Text

Standing at the southern gates to the village, Nier took a deep breath. His skin was crawling with anticipation and though he pushed the doubts away, he knew that whatever would happen would be his responsibility. He had been the one to convince the others so here they were, a group of four friends about to walk into a trap. A cold hand squeezed his and when Nier looked to his side he could see the uncertain smile of Emil.

Right, he wasn’t doing this for himself. He was doing it for him. 

“Let’s go.” 

When the four of them walked through the shopping area, Nier ignored the odd looks as best as he could. It was probably weird enough to see him and Weiss together already so what did the villagers think upon seeing Emil and Kainé? 

Emil, for his part, was mostly sticking to Nier’s side. It seemed like the smaller boy was still uncomfortable in such a big area with other people and Nier didn’t fault him for that. Kainé, however, seemed to not give a damn at all. She held herself with an unmatching confidence and if anyone even dared to look into her direction she had a deathly glare ready to send back. Those two truly were complete opposites which only highlighted their close friendship so much more. 

They made it through the busy areas of the village easily enough. No one stopped them and besides the odd conversations behind them there wasn’t anything worth noticing. Nier and Weiss led their friends up the hill towards the library which luckily was mostly empty around this time. The heavy doors fell shut behind them and for a moment Nier found himself hesitating. 

“Are you alright, lad?” Weiss spoke softly. The man placed a hand onto his shoulder and Nier forced a smile onto his lips. He appreciated the others looking out for him. 

“I will be. It’s the nerves.” Nier explained. Weiss nodded, seemingly understanding where he was coming from. 

“If you changed your mind—”

“No.” he immediately interrupted. “No, I want to do this. I have to. I’m not backing out, no way.” 

Weiss accepted his answer and with a nod signaled to him to continue walking. Nier’s hold on Emil tightened as they walked up the few stairs that led to Popola’s office. He was careful in guiding his partner, watchful for the two of them. Maybe it was to prolong the inevitable. 

Regardless of the delay, Nier found himself too early face to face with the door. 

He knocked. She answered. They entered.

“Good afternoon, Nier. I’m glad to see you up and well.” Popola said with a kind voice and a soft smile. She acted just like she always did and it was difficult to say whether this made it easier or more difficult for him. Nier took a few more steps until he was in front of the table. He had let go of Emil’s hand though he could feel the ghost of a touch on his back.

“Let’s cut the smalltalk. I’m here because of what you said. I want to meet the guy you work for.” 

Popola’s smile turned just a bit more genuine though she took the time to look past him, no doubt to take in the sight of his friends. Nier gritted his teeth but didn’t dare to block her view. They needed her to be in a good mood for this to work out. 

“So it was true, you really managed to pin Kainé down. You see, we lost sight of her quite a while ago and weren’t sure where she was located but having you all in the same place surely eases the mind.” 

“I’m not your fucking toy, you gutless bi—” 

“Kainé! Don’t!” Emil interrupted her almost immediately. Nier didn’t have to turn back to guess that Emil was holding his friend back again. A begrudged huff could be heard but when nothing else happened, Nier decided to continue. 

“Popola, please. We’re not here to talk. We just want the information and then we’ll get going.” 

He could feel her gaze taking him apart. She was analyzing him, judging him but Nier stood his ground. Whatever she was looking for, Nier would not back away. He had to do this and nothing would change his mind at that point. 

It appeared like she had come to the same conclusion. Popola leaned back in her chair and this time her eyes almost looked sad. 

“You’ve grown up so quickly.” she said with a fondness Nier recognized from his memories. A drawer was opened and Popola revealed a neatly folded piece of paper that was secured with a simple string. 

“Here. It’s a map that will take you to our lord. Whether you truly seek him out or not is your decision, Nier… But make sure that whatever your decision will be, it will be thought through.”

This caused him to pause. He was holding onto the map but Popola had not yet let go, seemingly searching for eye contact. Nier wondered whether he had just imagined the hint of concern or if Popola had truly just warned him of the consequences. Whatever it was, it didn’t change his made up mind. She let go and Nier pulled the map close to his chest. 

“Popola, while I’m gone…” 

“Yonah will be safe. You have my word.”

And Nier believed her. He mumbled a quiet thanks and when his friends left the room, he hesitated for only a moment. 

“Hey, Popola… Did you raise me knowing that this would happen?” Nier found himself asking. His back was turned to the woman but the tension must have been obvious in his shoulders. He regretted the words the moment they had left him but he couldn’t take them back anymore. 

“... I knew it was a possibility. But I had hoped I would be proven wrong once you had grown up. Regardless, you have become a fine man, Nier. And I know you will make the right decision. You are your parent’s son, after all.”

The door fell shut behind him and Nier wordlessly handed the map over to Weiss. 

They had a lord to meet. 

Nier had never been to the Lost Shrine. He had heard stories, tales and rumors, but never had he set a foot into this place himself. Something about it had always creeped him out. Maybe it had been the weird and abandoned style of architecture, or maybe it had been the haunting impressions of a society long since dead. Whatever the case, Nier wouldn’t have missed this particular location if he had never gotten around to entering it.

“Fuck, this place sucks.” Kainé eloquently spoke out what he too had been thinking. An old building all grown over with plants, stairs that had been destroyed and iron pipes hanging openly from the ceiling and walls. If this place was as unstable as it looked Nier was more scared of climbing his way up than meeting that lord guy. 

“For once I must agree with the hussy. To think that we have been in this place before and cannot remember such an instance seems more like an act of mercy above all else. I cannot for the life of me remember anything of such and a place as peculiar as this one would have surely left behind an impression.” Weiss grimaced as he was forced to climb over a pile of rubble. 

“Hey, Weiss…” Nier called from where he was in the front. He had just helped Emil over a smaller hole in the ground, his hand still on the other’s waist. “I’ve been wondering… What happened that you accepted that curse of yours? Emil did it for his sister but what about you?” 

Footsteps came to a halt and Nier looked up from Emil to see where Weiss had stopped. The man’s hand lingered on a wall but formerly relaxed fingers were now curled into a fist. He had half a mind to apologize but Weiss already spoke again. 

“When I was nothing more than a child, I had not yet lived in the village. I had been part of an orphanage. Or so they had told us… I was just one of thirteen children that resided on that secluded farm, away from any bigger towns. Through day and night we were trained to defeat an unseen enemy none of us had heard about. We learned how to fight, how to deceive, and how to kill.” 

Nier’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at Weiss with wide eyes, unable to say anything. He hadn’t expected that kind of past for someone like Weiss. Glancing over, Nier could tell that even Kainé was surprised. Neither of them spoke up when Weiss continued.

“We weren’t properly educated. It wasn’t necessary for us to be able to read or think analytically but I always found myself to be a bit different from my fellow children. I never got used to wielding a weapon nor did I enjoy injuring others… Anyways, eventually my fellow siblings, as I had come to see them, and I were locked into a room full of weapons. We were unsure of the situation and no adult was with us. Eventually we heard the voice of our mentor who only spoke three words… Fight for survival.” 

Weiss stared down at his hand and Nier wondered what he saw. Was it blood? Maybe a weapon? Or the dying body of one of his siblings?

“In the end, only three of us remained when the doors were kicked in. Men in the clothes of guards had found us and removed us from the scene. We were informed that the man we had known as mentor had been planning to use the strongest one of us to assassinate a king from a sand like kingdom. We were saved that day and eventually separated. They kept us apart and sent us to different towns so we would never see one another again… And so I one day found myself in the village, given over to Popola’s care.” 

Weiss began to walk again, past Nier and into the next room. The villager followed hesitantly even when Emil held onto him for support. 

“Though safe and sound in a new place, I couldn’t forget. My memories and actions haunted me in my every sleep and soon my health began to deteriorate. There was nowhere for me to hide from my past. And when I found myself at my lowest point, the thought of putting an end to it started to materialize… That’s when Popola came to me. She told me that she knew of a way to free me from my memories. That she could help me distract myself from my own horrible past. My memories are a blur from then on but eventually I awoke in the basement of the library. Devola was there to greet me and I soon found out about my blood curse. And thus, though I thought of myself as a monster, I began reading about the actions of others. And I realized that I was not the only one walking down the street of death and desperation. I was not the only one dressed in red, and other people’s sins soon made me forget about my own… I never stopped believing that I was a monster… But I was given the opportunity to see just how many of us existed in this unforgiving world.” 

The Lost Shrine was quiet when Weiss finished his story. Nier could almost feel the burden and guilt that rested on his friend’s shoulder. They both had killed, a terrifying similarity that would bind them forever. It made Nier wonder what would happen to him if he were to receive a curse. What kind of ironic punishment would he receive for his past actions? Weiss, who saw his own sins on his red stained hands, used blood to reveal others’ flaws. Emil, a child that had been blind to the cruelty of reality, could no longer see the world for what it was. 

Nier wondered what had happened to Kainé for her to turn out like this.

He dared not to voice his question. 

It was Emil who broke the silence. The smaller boy let go of Nier and walked a few meters to Weiss by himself. He looked a bit clumsy in his movements, clearly unfamiliar with the terrain but he didn’t fall. Nier watched as Emil first reached for Weiss’ robe. No words were spoken as Emil wrapped his arms around the young man’s shoulder, pulling him down into a hug. 

“It’s okay. We understand. Memories like these can be unbearable and it’s okay if you want to forget about them. But I promise you, as your friend, that we don’t care about your past. We will always remember you as our friend, and those will be the memories that will be kept alive.” Emil said, his voice steady and firm. 

“He’s right, Weiss.” Nier added as he walked over to his two friends. He placed a hand onto Emil’s back while his other rested on Weiss’ shoulder. “No matter what happened, you got us now. You don’t have to carry your burden alone anymore.” 

“So don’t be a little bitch and start focusing on the fucking present. With such a big, smart brain you’d know better than to pity yourself. Pull that head out of your goddamn ass, get over your past, and make sure not to do the same things in the damn future. You got two new troublemakers you gotta watch out for.” Kainé said as she passed their little group of three. Nier could see her lightly punching Weiss’ shoulder and he knew that it was her way of comforting. He smiled to himself, careful not to let her see it, and pulled Emil away in order to guide him up the remaining path. 

It didn’t take long for them to reach a new area of the shrine. They found themselves outside and after coordinating over some untrustworthy wooden planks they came face to face with an ancient looking door on top of the roof. Emil squeezed his arm and Nier wondered what his friend was feeling at that moment. It was clear that Emil couldn’t see the massive entrance but the way the smaller boy had tensed up meant that he was probably sensing something that was unknown to Nier. 

“Are you guys ready?”

Once his friends had given their confirmation, Nier pushed the doors open and stepped inside.

There was no turning back now.

Chapter Text

Emil was trembling. The moment Nier opened the door for them he could barely move his limbs anymore. A sudden pressure weighed down on him, threatened to squeeze the air out of his lungs, and warned him not to take a single step if he didn’t want his bones to be crushed. He found himself gasping for air and Nier’s presence beside him almost got drowned out by the heaviness of the magic. He had never felt such a concentration of energy and if it hadn’t been for Kainé’s hold he would have collapsed right then and there. His eyes were wide open behind his blindfold and absently Emil recognized the voices of his friends. 

“I… I’m okay.” he forced out through gritted teeth. “I… I can sense… him… His magic, it’s… Heck, it’s so much… It’s pressing down...” His hands clung to his scarf and Emil tried his best to calm his breathing. If he continued to panic he would surely lose consciousness. 

He wasn’t sure what his friends were talking about but a short moment later he felt his body being lifted. His eyes were closed and when he took a deep breath he realized who was carrying him. Emil’s arms wrapped loosely around his best friend’s neck and he smiled through the pain. 

“Sorry… for causing you trouble, Kainé.” Emil whispered though the woman simply snorted. 

“Oh please, I’ve carried baskets that were heavier than you.” She easily brushed his worries aside and Emil relaxed into her hold. There wasn’t much else he could do and though the lack of ground frightened him a bit, he would simply have to rely on his other senses to tell what was going on. 

The footsteps of their group echoed through the big and empty room as they crossed it. Emil didn’t know what the layout of this new building was and so he simply listened to the hushed voices of his friends as they walked through several corridors. At times he would whimper and hide his face in Kainé’s shoulder, signaling that they were walking into the right direction. 

Why neither Kainé nor Weiss were affected by the heavy magic, Emil didn’t know. Weiss had mentioned at one point that he could weakly sense magic and yet Emil was the only one who was this sensitive to the changes in the air. Maybe years of wearing the blindfold had attuned him to focus more on the aspects that no one else could see. Wind, scents, and invisible magic. Or maybe it was because he and his sister had always had an affinity for such strange situations. After all, they had managed to find and live in the manor without going crazy. 

No matter the reason, Emil felt the heavy concentration of magic around them. It was difficult to explain how it felt… It was like walking against one of the strongest gusts of winds he had ever encountered. Every breath he tried to take pushed heavily onto his chest and limbs that he could use easily before were now weighing so much more. 

Whoever that lord was, he was in possession of a power none of them could even hope to challenge. 

And that scared him to death. 

Nier was scared. The longer they walked through those empty hallways and giant open rooms the more he was aware of the huge difference in strength. It became clearer and clearer that they were at a disadvantage in any sense possible. His skin crawled with an invisible force he couldn’t see and though he was leading the group down this rabbit hole it felt more like he was guiding them straight to their demise. 

It didn’t help that Emil was barely responsive at this point. Nier was trying to be strong and he succeeded in faking an indifferent expression but with every whimper and groan from his friend his heart shattered just a bit more. He had been the one to convince them all and whatever would happen, he would be the one responsible. 

It was a heavy burden to carry, one much heavier than he had expected. 

They were reaching yet another end of a hallway, tall doors indicating that another room was to follow. To Nier, most parts of this building had looked all the same but they knew that something was different when Emil forced the next words out. 

“He’s… there…” 

Hands that had just been about to push the next door open suddenly halted in their movements. Nier felt the hair on his arms stand up. It had been easy to get lost in thoughts while they had made their way through the building but now that they were at their destination, he suddenly wasn’t sure anymore. 

“If anyone wants to turn around, now’s the time.” Nier joked in order to mask his fear. When he got no response, the boy turned around. 

He hadn’t expected his friends to look that determined. Kainé was busy helping Emil down and though the smaller boy was unsteady on his legs, it was clear to anyone that he wanted to face this lord without the support of his friends. Whatever uncertainty might have lingered within Nier’s heart calmed down as he watched their little chaotic group. Kainé grabbed her swords, Weiss readjusted his clothes and Emil walked a few steps until he stood next to Nier. 

“Nier, I...” Emil whispered, looking down as if he was searching for something. Nier’s eyes softened and he bumped his hand into Emil’s so his friend could intertwine their fingers. 

“Me too, Emil.” Nier replied just as he pushed the last hindrance open. 

The first thing Nier noticed was how dark the room was. The windows had been covered by cloths, preventing most of the ever present sunlight from shining inside. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the new darkness but when they did, he was left confused. 

“It’s… empty.” Weiss said, speaking out what Nier too had thought. The group walked more into the room but there was little of interest here. A few shelves with books and a sole bed in a far corner but except for them there was no one else there. 

“No… L-Look.” Emil, who was leaning against him, pointed towards a spot near the walls. Nier tried to see anything through the faint light but it was only after he squinted his eyes did he notice that the darkness in that particular spot seemed more… intense. It reminded him of a cloud, the way the darkness appeared to be concentrated. 

It was at that moment that Nier began to feel a heavy pressure pushing down onto his shoulders. He, Weiss and Kainé gasped when they were almost forced onto their knees from the sudden change in gravity. Blue eyes stared widely at the ground while Nier tried to catch his breath from the shift. It was clear that this was the presence Emil had felt so much earlier than them. 

It was overpowering. It was frightening. 

It pissed Nier off. Gritting his teeth, the villager began to groan as he forced himself back up onto his legs. He wouldn’t bow in front of a cloud of darkness. Though the pressure pushed him down hard, Nier took a trembling step forward. And then another. His eyes were focused on that one spot near the wall and soon he found it in himself to stand to his full height. The crushing feeling didn’t disappear but the longer Nier found himself in the presence of that lord, the easier it started to get. 

Drawing his sword, Nier changed his position into that of the offense. He pointed the tip of his weapon at the weird cloud, waiting for the lord’s next move. 

And just like that, the pressure disappeared completely. 

Relieved gasps and groans came from behind him as his three friends began to get up from their positions on the ground. Kainé was mumbling a curse as she used her weapons as canes while Weiss held onto his probably pounding head. Emil was the last to get back up. He was still kneeling on the ground but some color finally returned to his face. 

“Fascinating.” a voice echoed through the room. Its origin couldn’t be pinpointed and Nier felt as if he was spoken to from every direction at once. He looked around but still there was no one he could see. 

“It seems I’ve finally found you. Or rather, you've found me.” the voice continued. It sounded amused. Maybe even relieved, Nier couldn’t tell. 

“I take it you’re that Lord Popola was talking about? The one who cursed my friends?” Nier pushed on. He lowered his sword but didn’t put it away yet. While this visit was supposed to be a diplomatic one, he wouldn’t hesitate to defend himself at the first sign of danger. 

“I guess that would be me. Though I have not chosen that name for myself, it was given to me. Even if Shadowlord itself is a mouthful.” the voice answered. Nier couldn’t quite pinpoint it but somehow the voice sounded young. Not much older than any of them. He wasn’t sure what he had expected; maybe an old grandfather or a moustache wearing guy. But judging solely by the voice, whoever this Shadowlord was, he wasn’t what Nier had expected. 

“And what you might call a curse… I call… a gift. It is saddening to see that my treasure has not been accepted yet but with time they will come around and accept their roles. They always do.” 

Always? Did he mean…

“You bastard! How many else did you get your filthy little hands on? Were we not fucking good enough? Gotta ruin even more lives?” Kainé yelled from behind him. She was holding up well but Nier could see how much the earlier pressure had truly affected her. The woman was leaning on her weapons still, her breath uneven. It was odd, in a way. Now that Nier actually looked at his companions it appeared like Weiss didn’t do any better either. 

So why was he pretty much unaffected? 

The voice chuckled though it didn’t sound amused. “That’s not it, my Body. Rather, I have been doing this for quite a while now. You are born but inevitably you'll die. And when you do, your powers will return to me. And eventually I find new chosen ones to inhabit these abilities. It’s an endless circle but as long as you are alive, you have my attention.” 

Taking a step forward, Nier returned his focus on that dark cloud in the far back of the room. It seemed to be pulsating in a way that reminded him of a heart. Could this be…? 

“What the fuck did you just call me, you piece of shit?” Kainé yelled through the room. There was a moment of hesitation which Nier used to take yet another step closer to the thing. 

“My mistake.” Shadowlord replied. This time, Nier was sure, the voice sounded amused. It appeared like even this super powerful entity wasn’t immune to Kainé’s… charm. “You were given the gift of physical strength. No wall nor enemy can stop you, a force that dares to find a worthy opponent. I have gifted you with the epitome of an unbreakable Body.” 

A gust of magic seemingly out of nowhere washed over the room and soon Kainé straightened her back, looking a lot less strained and exhausted. She seemed just as surprised as Nier though was quick to lift her weapons. 

“And you, Grimm Weiss, have been given one of the greatest double-edged swords… Knowledge. A weapon more deadly than an axe and a burden heavier than a crown. You represent the ageless Mind.” 

Weiss, too, seemed to recover from the aftereffects. He moved his hands in front of his face as if to check for any injuries before looking at their last member. Emil was still kneeling on the ground, one hand clutched in his scarf. Nier couldn’t see his face but he could only imagine the fear that threatened to overwhelm his partner. A part of him wanted to hurry over but it didn’t seem like any of them had been hurt through this unwanted attention. Gripping his sword just a bit tighter, Nier waited. 

“Emil…” Shadowlord continued, his voice softer as if he didn’t wish to appear threatening. “Who else would I choose to represent one of humanity’s core aspects if not you? A body can exist, a mind can think. But those only come together when something else is present. A harmonizing Soul. You were given the strength not to kill but to stop injustice…” 

The particular feeling of magic returned but Nier didn’t turn around. Instead, he took yet another step forward. 

“And then there is your sister, Halua. It is not often that I find someone that is driven by such unlimitless love. She will become whatever is needed to keep her loved ones safe. She is a healer and protector, someone who has been granted the embodiment of a never dying Heart.” 

“But she’s… Sister is…” Emil choked out. The pain in his voice was ever present. Nier had to close his eyes as he listened to Emil speak about his biggest regrets. “I petrified her, I-I… She’s not… This isn’t a gift, it’s a curse and I don’t want to… Please.” the smaller boy pleaded. “Please help my sister. You did it once, p-please… Just… another chance.”

The room was quiet except for the soft hiccups of Emil. Nier heard the clicking of heels and soon Kainé’s soft mumbling reached him. Right. This was why he had come here. With his sword fully lowered Nier walked the remaining distance until he stood right in front of the pulsating darkness. He could feel a similar pressure from when he had first entered the hall but it didn’t threaten to squeeze him. It didn’t feel much different from carrying a heavy casket up some stairs for the villagers. 

“You want something from me.” Nier said. His voice was neither accusatory nor offensive. It was like stating a fact. The cloud of magic remained silent and so he pushed on. 

“I’m not sure what it is. You have a body, mind, heart and soul so I doubt there is anything left but… But I’m here to listen to your price. I want to offer a part of me in return for my friend’s freedom. Cure Emil and Weiss, and in return you can take what you want from me.” 

The pulsating stopped for a moment before it picked up its pace. The darkness around them was seemingly pulled in and soon began to gather around the cloud, making it bigger and larger. Like a tornado the magic twisted and turned until it disappeared at once, leaving behind a body made of shadows. Nier couldn’t make out any definite features. 

Besides the golden eyes. 

“I give what others truly desire. Are you sure that this is your biggest wish?” Shadowlord asked. His mouth didn’t move but the words still echoed throughout the room. Furrowing his brows in confusion, Nier was a bit surprised by the question. 

“I can see inside you. And while it’s true that you desire freedom for your friends… There is also another wish. One of old age, deeply rooted into your very existence… You might say, your reason to live.” 

Blue eyes widened in understanding and Nier’s sword fell to the ground as he lost his grip. He stared at the shadowy creature, his mouth open and yet no words came out. Nier hadn’t considered this. It had been a hope he had buried so deep within himself that it could never dare to bloom. But here Shadowlord was, going straight for what was most important to him. His voice was hoarse, his lips dry but Nier pushed a single name out.

“Yonah.” 

The Shadowlord nodded. “The black disease. A sickness that has befallen humanity many decades ago and still no natural cure has been found. In all cases it will lead to a fatal death… But I can heal it. My magic can do what no medicine can.” 

Nier had difficulties following the words as his head began to spin. A cure for Yonah. The Shadowlord could cure her, could offer her a long life with no more pain or misery. And Nier knew that he wasn’t being lied to. Emil himself had told him about Halua’s recovery… Yonah could leave the house and go shopping herself, she could hang around the library all day or visit the kids that were always playing near the fountain. She could plant whatever flowers she wanted. She could even travel to faraway places like the desert or the Aerie or the oce— 

Emil.

Following that thought, Nier looked over his shoulder towards his partner. Emil was leaning against Kainé though all his friends’ attention was on him and the Shadowlord. The smaller boy seemed to look over towards him and his expression spoke of sadness. 

“Nier…” Emil said. Nier watched him push himself off Kainé to walk over to him. Frozen in place, Nier allowed Emil to come to his side. 

“Emil, I-I don’t know what to do.” he found himself whispering. His heart was torn. Here he was, asking for Emil’s freedom and yet he was offered something he had desired for so long. Yonah was the sole reason why he was still alive, why he woke up every day to accept even the shittiest jobs. He had promised both Yonah and Emil that he would find a cure and now here he was, having to decide which one was more important. 

“Shadowlord, can I—” 

But the being in front of him shook his head. “It would not be a fair trade. A body for a body.” 

Though Nier had guessed as much, it still hurt to hear it. His hands clenched into fists and he forced out the next question. 

“What is the price? For either of them.” 

And when the Shadowlord hesitated, Nier gritted his teeth. “What’s the price?!” he repeated in a yell. 

“... Your existence.” 

His heart stopped a beat. He wanted to ask what this meant but thankfully Emil spoke up for him. 

“His existence… W-What do you mean?”

“Among your group I have a body, mind, heart, and soul. But what I don’t have is an Existence. My life has come to an end a long time ago and I have been searching for a vessel ever since then. I need a host so I can leave this place and return to the world of the living. I need a corporeal form. And your friend is the perfect vessel.” 

Nier felt numb. Though he heard the words, he barely registered them. He wanted to brush this off and tell the Shadowlord that he had the wrong guy but in his heart Nier knew that this was true. He, or rather his body, had clicked with the Shadowlord the moment he had entered the place. The pressure hadn’t faced him because he had been on a perfect frequency with the other’s powers. 

“There is no way Nier will give his body to someone as mean as you! We will find another way, we don’t need your he—”

“Emil.” Nier interrupted his friend. He reached for Emil’s hands though not a second after grabbing them the other pulled away. His friend took a step back, shaking his head vehemently. The blindfold began to show darker spots.

“No.” Emil whispered before raising his voice. “No! We are not doing this! You are not doing this! I won’t let you, I will drag you back to the manor kicking and screaming if I have to! You won’t…. You can’t…” Whatever anger Emil must have felt was quickly replaced by sorrow. Nier took a gentle hold of his friend and Emil took it as an invitation to weakly hit his chest over and over again, eventually clinging to Nier’s shirt. 

“You can’t… What about…”

Resting his head on top of Emil’s, Nier closed his eyes. Somehow he wasn’t scared. Maybe because his own life had never meant much to him. He had lived, breathed and fought for someone else his whole life… And now that a solution was in sight, Nier found himself being okay with it. 

“Emil, please forgive me.” 

But his friend shook his head. “Y-You will choose Yonah, right? I-I won’t let you do this for me. This is my… my burden… If anyone finds a way… It’s got to be me… Please… Nier, please choose her… I-If you can’t stay… Then save her…” 

His body shook with unshed tears. Nier pulled his partner close and pressed a meaningful kiss to that light hair. Of course, for Emil it had never been a question of whether Nier would help him or Yonah. Selfless, considerate Emil would never let someone else suffer just so he could have it easier. 

It was one of the reasons why Nier had fallen for him. 

He could no longer hold back his own sobs. Nier smiled, not quite understanding why he was this sad. Yonah was going to be cured. She would be okay and this was everything he had ever wanted. So why was letting go suddenly so difficult? 

Looking over Emil’s head, Nier found eye contact with Weiss. His friend looked as miserable as he felt and it was strange, seeing the usually composed librarian this upset. 

“Weiss… Look after Yonah. Teach her whatever is necessary and make sure she grows into the best version of herself. She… She adores her books so make sure she will always have one laying around.” 

His friend began to smile though it didn’t reach his eyes. With a hand over his heart Weiss bowed down. “You have my word, lad. Though I doubt you will leave us this soon. Your stubbornness and endurance  are your strengths and if anyone could make it back to us, it’s you.” 

Nier somehow doubted it. 

“Kainé…” he started but she waved it off. “ Save your damn breath, delivery boy. You know the squirt has grown on me. I swore to protect him before and hell fucking no am I going back on that now. I’ll burn this fucking world down before anyone gets their hands on him.”

Chuckling softly, Nier nodded in thanks. That only left…

“Emil.” he whispered again though his partner vehemently shook his head. Tears streamed down his own face as he held Emil close, their bodies rocking with each sobs they tried to hold back. Nier hated this. He hated how attached he had gotten. Hated how much he had come to adore this boy in his arms. 

Hated the thought of leaving Emil behind. 

It was so god damn hypocritical of him. All these years Nier had kept his distance because he had been the abandoned one and now that he had found Emil, he was the one to leave. A part of him wanted to regret ever having opened himself up but Nier knew that this was wrong. The few weeks he had been allowed to spend with Emil had been the happiest of his entire life. The understanding, kindness and love he had been shown were memories he would always carry with himself, no matter what would happen to him. 

“Emil, there is so much I need to say…”

But when his partner looked up at him, Nier found himself at a loss of words. Pale hands reached for his face and before he knew it he was pulled into a desperate kiss. It was awkward. Clumsy. Messy and uncoordinated. 

Just like their first kiss. 

“Don’t.” Emil whispered onto his lips. “You can tell me once you’re back... Because I won’t let you go. I promise I won’t leave you behind… I’ll remember you, no matter what.”

 Emil’s voice gained in strength the more he spoke and a hand found its way into Nier’s hair while the other came to rest on his neck. “And that’s… That’s not all I’ll do! You hear me, Nier? I’ll chase you to the end of time, and I’ll bring you back to us! No matter what!”

Closing his eyes, Nier began to genuinely smile. He pulled Emil into one last kiss. It was soft, caring, and lingering. 

“I hear you, Emil… I’ll be waiting for you.” 

With that Nier pushed his partner away. He took one last glance at his friends, Weiss and Kainé. His gaze moved towards the one who had loved him till the end. 

He would treasure this sight for all eternity. 

Turning to the shadowy figure, Nier smiled as he held out his hand. 

“Cure Yonah in exchange for my existence. It’s a deal.”

And the moment their hands touched, everything went dark.

Chapter Text

“...mil…Em…l…Emil!”

“Emil, wake up!”

A loud gasp tore through him as he suddenly sat up, his heart and mind racing. Emil was breathing heavily, his eye unseeing as he felt burning hot tears run down his face. He felt confused, sad, and angry. 

“Woah, it’s okay. You’re okay, Emil.” 

The bed he was laying on dipped down as somebody else climbed on top and soon Emil found his head being pressed against a chest. He stared at the closet on the other side of his room… Wait, he was in his room. 

Wait yet another second… That voice was—

“Halua!” Emil cried out. He pushed himself out of the embrace, and struggled to get free to see her. His breathing was too quick but through the tears he could see her. 

She looked just like the day he had lost her five years ago. Her darker hair still reached her shoulders, her pale eyes were filled with nothing but warmth and love. He could feel her warm touch on his shoulder, could see that smile he had yearned for all this time. 

It only clicked belatedly in his mind that he could see her. 

Emil was looking at his sister. And she wasn’t turning to stone. 

Closing his eyes immediately, Emil covered his face with a hand. He was on the verge of panicking when he truly focused on his situation. While it was true that his left eye had been left free, he could feel a bandage tightly wrapped around his right one. If he focused on it he could sense the familiar ancient magic. 

Somehow… Somehow the curse had been moved to only one of his eyes. 

But why? 

When he searched his memories, Emil froze up. 

He couldn’t remember. Why couldn’t he remember? When he tried to remember the past couple weeks he would end up… blank. There were pieces that he could recall. Camping with Kainé, caring for his flowers, and… A visit to the village? But why? Why would Emil do something that dangerous? Maybe it had been to visit Weiss, his new friend… The one who had been searching around his manor… Though why again?

Squeezing his eyes shut, Emil whimpered as his head suddenly began to hurt. He reached up to hold onto his hair when his sister gently stopped him from doing so. She squeezed his fingers and pressed a kiss onto his forehead. 

It felt familiar. 

“You need to calm down, Emil.”

He could feel her hand on his cheek. A sudden warmth began to flow through him and Emil opened his free eye in surprise. He could see what looked like green magic swirling around him before it disappeared alongside his headache. Any pain he had felt even a moment before was gone.

“Your… curse…” Emil whispered. Somewhere in his mind it made sense. She was a healer, right? The loving heart… How did he know that? 

Nothing made sense. Though that was okay. Because Emil finally had his sister back, and he could even use one of his eyes to finally see. Whatever sadness and anger he had felt upon waking up was quickly replaced with happiness and excitement, and a wide grin appeared on his face as he started to cry. 

“Sister!” 

Halua squealed in surprise when Emil tackled her to the bed but they both laughed as he pulled her into a bear hug. She would try and get him off, telling him how he was so much bigger and heavier now but Emil didn’t care. He would squeeze her with his love whether she wanted it or not! 

Emil had his sister back. He had half of his eyesight back. 

He had everything he had ever wanted.

Holding tightly onto Halua’s hand, Emil firmly dragged her through the manor. He was rambling on and on about everything she had missed and even when she told him to take a breath every once in a while, Emil merely continued to speak. His face was hurting from all the smiling he did but he was just too excited. 

“Oh! Let me see if she’s around!” Emil suddenly spoke up. He ran the remaining way into the front hall and held onto the railing, staring up the stairs. 

“Kainé! Are you home? Kainé!”

A few moments passed in which nothing happened but then a door opened. Without waiting for a reply Emil already ran up the stairs. He stumbled over one or two steps but quickly caught himself with his arms as he hurried up.

Emil wanted to see her. 

The door was barely closed before Emil already ran into her. Anyone else would have fallen to their butts with the speed he had tackled her but not Kainé. She took his attack with little surprise and Emil felt that familiar hand in his hair. 

“Woah there… What’s gotten into you?” 

It was her. Her voice, her smell, the feeling of her clothes. But this time, when Emil looked up, he could see her. And she was...

“Wow… You’re beautiful!” 

Kainé was taken aback. He could see the surprise on her face. And his friend was everything he had expected and more. She was still wearing the Lunar Tear he had given her and while his heart filled with warmth and appreciation, there was also the smallest hint of pain. 

Emil pushed it aside. 

“Beautiful? What are you… You can see me?” 

It seemed like she had finally caught up. Her hands moved to cup his face and Emil giggled when she squeezed his cheeks together, making him look like a fish. 

“Huh… You can actually see me, can’t you, Emil?” 

Nodding as best as he could in her embrace, Emil grinned. And when Kainé returned his smile it was amazing. 

“But how?” she asked but it didn’t seem like she was all too interested in the answer. Not like Emil could give her one. 

“I don’t know. I woke up like this. Oh! That’s not all! Come on, come on!” Grabbing her hand, Emil dragged Kainé back to the railing. He pointed down into the front hall before he started to run downstairs again. Halua stood with her arms behind her back, her head cocked in amusement. Emil knew that he had always been the more childish one between them but he had never cared. 

“You didn’t change one bit, Emil.” his sister spoke, barely hiding her laughter. He shrugged his shoulders with a grin before pointing at her, his eye returning to Kainé. 

“Kainé, meet Halua! She finally woke up!” 

And it was with a bubbling excitement he could barely contain that he watched his two family members finally interact. He rocked back and forth on his heels as they introduced one another and from what Emil could tell, they started off on a great foot. Halua thanked Kainé for looking after him, Kainé spoke high praise of him and even when they began to mock him for past actions Emil’s heart flooded with warmth. Taking both their hands into his, Emil continued the tour through the manor. 

But this time he had his full family with him. 

Sauntering through one of the hallways, Emil had his arms behind his head. He and Halua were on their way to his flower field so he could show her his proud work. Kainé had excused herself as she had wanted to get them something to eat. Now that there were three people they would need more resources. 

And as they walked past a couple of paintings, Emil slowed down just a little bit. Since he had gained his eyesight back it felt like he was exploring the building for the first time again. He had never dared to take the blindfold off even when it had only been him and Sebastian. The fear had been too big. But now here he was, seeing every little detail without having to worry. He stared up at the portraits of the former masters of the manor. Some had weird moustaches, others were women in really big dresses. Emil slowly walked and took every master in. 

“Do you think a painting of us will hang on these walls eventually?” he found himself asking. Halua merely shrugged her shoulders with a chuckle. 

“Do you want it to? We sure would fall out of the norm. Look how fancy they all looked and then there’s us.” 

They grinned at each other and Emil gestured towards the next painting. It had a man in knight armor on it. He looked pretty arrogant and important, a pose Emil soon tried to imitate. He pursed his lips, narrowed his single eye and took in the same position. 

“I don’t know about you but fancy is my second name.”

Halua snorted and pushed his shoulder, causing Emil to laugh again. “Hey, it was a good imitation! I just have to grow a beard and I’m all set!” 

“As if a baby face like you would ever grow a beard. You’re better off just drawing it on.” his sister countered as she reached for his cheek. He swatted the hand away and stuck his tongue out. She would just have to wait, now he would grow a beard out of spite!

They continued to mock and joke about each painting when they reached the last one. It was a young man, probably in his early twenties, with his white hair neatly pulled back into a long braid. A young girl stood next to him and while she was grinning from ear to ear, the master had a troubling look in his eyes. His smile seemed fake and forced, and his hand was placed on the girl’s head. 

“Seems like the last guy was pretty young.” Halua pointed out and Emil nodded. He hesitantly continued to walk even when something wasn’t exactly right. Brushing it off, the boy smiled again. 

“See, that means a painting of us wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary!”

His sister lifted her hands up in surrender even when her eyes still looked at him with mockery. “Alright, alright. You win. But we would have to find an artist for that who is willing to draw us for the great price of…” Halua looked around her and grabbed a random candlestand. “.... Whatever junk we got laying around.”

“Lucky you because I know someone who is amazing at drawing! And he’s my friend so I bet he would give us a discount!”

Emil suddenly came to a stop. The headache from earlier faintly returned as he tried to remember why he knew that Weiss was an artist. He was fully convinced that Weiss was talented and gifted in the form of art but… But how did he know that? Had he ever seen the other draw?

Shaking his head, Emil pushed these thoughts aside. 

“Let’s head to the flower field!” And as he took Halua’s hand, running through the hallways with her, it almost felt like he was running away from something. 

Though what it was, he didn’t know.

Chapter Text

“Hey, sister?” Emil asked as they laid in the middle of the flower field. Beams of sunlight shone down upon them, warming them sufficiently and though the light was blinding to an extent, Emil didn’t close his eye. He wanted to see as much as he could. 

Halua hummed from next to him. She turned onto her stomach so she could better look at him and Emil once again felt his heart squeeze. He had finally gotten her back. 

“What do you… remember?”

It was a question he feared. So far it hadn’t looked like Halua was mad at him but then again maybe it was simply brooding underneath her skin. After what he had done… How could anyone forgive him for that? There was also the small detail that Emil knew without a doubt that his powers were still intact. He could feel the ancient magic pulsing in his bandaged eye and when he had looked into the backyard he had seen the other statues. Only Halua had been freed.

His sister cocked her head though her eyes began to soften. With a small huff she laid back down and stared up at the sun with him. 

“I remember following those ladies to a weird building. There was a faint voice… and then everything turned black. I awoke in my bed and you were there…”

Emil began to tense up though said nothing. 

“It didn’t hurt, Emil.” Halua whispered. She pushed herself into a sitting position and leaned over him, covering the sun as she did so. Emil bit his lip, trying hard not to cry even when his sister began to comb her fingers through his hair. A gesture she had done in their past to calm him. 

“I didn’t blame you. I still don’t. And it didn’t hurt… You didn’t hurt me, Emil. It rather felt like… I guess like going to sleep. I could hear your voice in my dreams. I thought it was my imagination but the longer I’m awake the more I think that it was actually you. That you spoke to me when I was asleep.” 

The smile he received was a kind one and Emil knew in his heart that his sister had never blamed him. He felt embarrassed how relieved this made him feel and Emil sat up in order to hug his sister. Though he was older and taller now he still pressed his head into her shoulder like all those years ago. 

“I-I did… I placed flowers onto… onto your nightstand… I’m sorry, sister. I'm so sorry.” 

Halua shushed him and brushed some strands of hair out of his face. Familiar pale eyes looked into his and Emil knew they would be okay. 

They were finally together again.

“When I woke up this morning…” Halua continued. She had a thoughtful look on her face. “I think I saw someone leave my room. I whispered your name and the figure stopped for a moment but then left before I knew what was happening…” She bit her lip, a habit she had always done when she was thinking. “I practically fell out of bed and ran after them, thinking it was you but the hallway was empty. I started searching and eventually found you asleep in your bed… I don’t know, maybe I was just imagining it all… But I could have sworn that someone was in my room.”

Furrowing his brows, Emil found himself at a loss. Not a lot of people knew about their manor, after all. Kainé wouldn’t have snuck around, she always made her presence known. And Weiss wouldn’t simply be lurking without announcing his presence... at least not anymore. And that was the short list already. Only the four of them knew about the manor and Emil couldn’t imagine a stranger coming in, roaming the rooms and then just disappearing. This place was like a maze, no one could know their way around on their first visit. 

It didn’t make sense. 

“I think you were dreaming.” Emil concluded. It would have been reasonable enough. After all, Halua had been asleep for many years, waking up from that might have left her confused. 

And yet Emil wasn’t satisfied with this. 

A piece was missing in his memories and heart. Something that he knew had been there once but now couldn’t grasp anymore. Though he had been given his sister and his eye, something had been taken from him. 

What it was, he didn’t know. 

But he wanted to. 

Emil was frustrated. Scratch that, he felt disheartened. With yet another annoyed groan he placed his head onto the keys and listened to the terrible sounds the piano produced. 

It wasn’t like he was able to play anything better than that. 

Halua chuckled from her seat next to him and even when she ruffled his hair Emil remained with his face on the white and black keys. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” he whined. “I usually play every day and now I can’t get a single song done.” Glancing up at Halua, Emil pouted. It was difficult to see her though Emil knew without checking that she was entertained by his frustration. What a cruel sister he had. 

“It’s okay, Emil. What you played sounded nice enough, you don’t have to be a one man concert for me.” 

“But I wanna.” he complained. Emil knew that he was slipping into his whiny voice but this time he felt justified in his actions. The plan for the rest of the day had been simple enough. Play some music for Halua, wait for Kainé to come back and then eat together before going to bed again. So why was this so difficult? He had been playing for hours every day and yet something was blocking him. 

No matter how often he started Sacrifice, he would always mess up at one point or another. 

It was frustrating. 

Emil was only pulled out of his self pity when a door fell shut somewhere in the manor. He lifted his head, at first alerted but soon heard a combination of heels clicking and spoken curses. His mood lifted immediately and Emil grinned at Halua who was already getting up. Together they ran down the hallway and found Kainé in the kitchen. The woman was busy throwing a bag onto the table and upon closer inspection Emil could make out a pumpkin, some carrots and a lot more food than expected.

“Woah, Kainé! Where did you get all that stuff?” he asked in bewilderment. Halua immediately began to unpack the bag and Emil’s eye widened with each newly revealed item. Herbs, beans, and even some mutton! He could feel his mouth already watering just looking at the vast possibilities. 

“I met that stupid book fanatic and told him about our situation. He insisted on buying all these for us and that fucking asshole didn’t even accept anything I tried to give him. What a nuisance.” 

Emil forced his eye away from the food to look at Kainé. “You spoke to Weiss? How is he doing! I’d love to see him again when he has time!” 

“Bastard’s been fine and dandy. He was in a good mood which really pissed me off though. Apparently he woke up and found some addresses from those two siblings that got sent away. He was on his way to the mailbox when we met.” 

Emil’s face brightened at that. From the story Weiss had shared with them his siblings had meant a lot to him and if he now had the chance to message them he would surely be able to reconcile their little family. 

“Today seems like an amazing day, right Emil?” Halua said from his side. She was smiling while busying herself with cleaning up the mess he had left behind in the kitchen. Without his eyes he hadn’t exactly paid attention to how it all looked. 

“Yeah! It’s like a miracle! Did anything nice happen to you, Kainé?” Emil agreed. He turned to his friend and rocked back and forth, waiting to hear whether she had also gotten something she had wanted. Kainé snorted though, shaking her head. 

“Nothing’s different, squirt. But it’s not like I was lacking something before. I’m content with the way things are, I don’t need a wish granted.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Emil kept it at that. He was still thinking about Weiss and though he was unsure as to how their friendship had started, he knew in his heart that he was happy for his friend. Maybe, now that Emil could see, he and Halua could visit the village. 

“For dinner I thought we could cook some mutton with potatoes. What do you two say?” Kainé suggested. Both his and Halua’s eyes sparkled as they agreed with enthusiasm and it didn’t take long before Kainé gave them different tasks to handle. 

Emil was told to peel the potatoes while Halua would cut them into manageable pieces. Kainé herself managed the meat and soon the three of them found themselves in a chaotic but pleasant working space. 

“Hey, sister!” he eventually spoke up just as he finished the last potato. It was placed into the pot with the others and Emil leaned back in his chair as he had just finished his job. 

“We should try and figure out your powers. What do you say?”

This certainly caught Halua’s attention. She looked up from the task at hand and cocked her head. His sister blinked before nodding in hesitation. “That would be for the best, right? I lost a few years of practice, the sooner I know my abilities and limits the better.”

“Any clue what it could be?” Kainé asked, her eyes focused on the cooking meat. Emil hummed and waited until he had the attention of both his sister and friend. 

“She’s a healer!” Emil proudly exclaimed. As if to prove his point, he used the potato knife to cut his finger. A low hiss escaped him and before long Kainé stood by his side, holding his hand up to take a look at the wound. Emil merely pulled his hand away and ignored her complaints so he could hold his finger out for Halua. His sister looked at him with wide eyes and he knew that after the surprise he would receive an earful of lectures. 

Holding his breath, Emil watched in wonder as Halua touched his finger. He could feel a tickling sensation and once she pulled away, the wound was no longer there. It was more than that, though. It looked like it had never existed. 

“Emil, you idiot!” Halua called from across the table. She stood up and hit his shoulder while Kainé gently bonked his head. 

“See, Kainé? It’s all gone!” His family’s reactions barely concerned him as he held his finger out for everyone to see. Kainé clicked her tongue and though she tried to remain indifferent he could see how impressed she truly was. 

“I don’t think it’s healing, exactly.” Halua mumbled. Emil looked over to her in confusion but his sister was merely biting her lip. She didn’t say another word but rather took a nearby cup. Emil and Kainé watched in stunned silence as his sister dropped it without an explanation. Just as expected the cup broke into several big pieces. 

“Sister, what…” But Emil received no answer. Instead, he leaned over the table to see better what Halua was doing. She collected each broken piece and placed them back onto the table. With a deep breath she touched the cup and Emil watched dumbfoundedly as the teacup began to repair itself. Green magic twirled around her fingers and every piece returned to its original place, reforming what had just been destroyed. Seconds of tension passed until finally the cup stood in front of all of them as if nothing had ever happened. 

Emil was at a loss of words. 

Halua exhaled deeply and opened her eyes again. She looked like she was slightly out of breath but her brilliant smile lit up her whole face. 

“I think it’s time based.” his sister said with a gasp. “Your friend, Weiss, right? You told me he can look into the past. And, well… My body didn’t age in all those years so you…”

“I stop the present?” Emil mumbled, trying to follow her speeding train of thoughts.

Halua nodded. “I think I’m like a counterpart to you, Emil. I can influence the immediate future. Rewrite just a little bit.” As if to prove her point, she once again touched the cup. It immediately fell apart and to Emil’s wonder the sizes of the pieces were identical to the ones from before. 

Emil’s head began to spin. It was an approach he had never considered but it reminded him of something someone had once said about his power. 

“A warden…” he mumbled mostly to himself. “Someone once described my curse as me being a warden… So if I lock others away then you’re the key.” His eyes widened and Emil jumped up with excitement. “That means that you’re the cure, sister! You can get rid of my petrification, you can save the villagers I turned into stone!” 

A hand on his shoulder quickly pushed him down into his seat and Emil looked up to see Kainé. She looked just as interested in this topic as he was but his friend shook her head. “Calm down, kid. We can test your theory tomorrow, right now we should focus on our dinner. Those statues can wait another day. For now I want you to cut the vegetables and Halua?” 

His sister looked up from the cup as if she had been caught doing something illegal. She blew some hair out of her face. “Yes?”

“Either repair the cup or get rid of it, I don’t want any ceramic in my food. And then set the table, the meat is almost done.” 

“Of course!” Halua replied and she got up, following orders immediately. Emil could understand the energy with which his sister moved around. He, too, felt excited to test their little theory. 

For now though it would have to wait. After all, dinner with his family came first.

Chapter Text

Waking up with a gasp, Emil bolted upwards in his bed. He clutched his chest as he tried to catch his breath, his eye wide and unseeing. His heart was racing and he felt like he was being torn apart. For a while all he could hear was a scream ringing in his ears and only when the door to his bedroom was opened did Emil realize that he had been the one causing that sound. 

Halua stood in the doorway, her hair and clothes an absolute mess. They stared at each other and a moment later his sister was already climbing onto his bed. Neither of them said anything when she lifted his blanket to slip in and Emil forced himself to let go of his shirt so he could hold his sister. The tears streamed down his face, the sobs tore through his already hurting throat but Emil couldn’t stop. 

It felt like a part of him was missing. He didn’t feel complete and his heart was bleeding for whatever he no longer had. 

The only time he had ever felt like this had been when he had lost Halua. 

So who did Emil lose this time? 

It was only from pure exhaustion that the boy eventually fell back asleep. His red eyes were closed but neither he nor Halua let go. It reminded Emil of their childhood and how they had always shared a bed together. The first few times he had been forced to sleep alone after her petrification had been the worst nights of his life. 

And when he fell asleep this time, there were no dreams to haunt him. It was all just… empty. 

Standing in the courtyard, Emil shielded his eye from the sun. He hadn’t been able to sleep for much longer and so he and Halua had decided to already go and test their theory. Initially they had planned to stay quiet but then again Kainé would wake up from a needle hitting the ground. 

“Good morning, Kainé.” Emil yawned as he rubbed some sleep out of his eye. He had spent a good portion of his morning swapping out his blindfold if only to avoid any questions from Halua about last night. Emil wanted answers just as much as she did but when he had tried to remember his dream he had ended up with nothing but a headache. 

“Morning, you two. Up early, I see.” 

The twins nodded. Neither Halua nor Kainé mentioned his screaming and for that he was grateful. For now Emil wanted to focus on the present and see whether their theory had been true. Before he could have voiced their plans however, a noise from somewhere in a tree caught his attention. 

His eyes widened and with a wide grin Emil ran over to the tree, already holding his arm out for the bird that came flying towards him. The crow cawed once and cocked its head just as Emil began to pet it.

“Sebastian! There you are! I was already getting worried, where have you been this whole time?” 

The crow leaned into the touch though as expected Emil only received a caw in return. Wherever his friend had been, Emil felt relieved upon seeing the bird up and well. He rubbed his cheek against Sebastian for a moment before allowing the animal to jump up to his shoulder. 

“So that’s the famous Sebastian?” Halua spoke up. She walked over to them, her hands behind her back. Now that she was smaller than Emil she had to actually look up to see the pet. For a moment her eyes were squinted as she took in the rather unusual colors of the crow. Emil (understandably) had never seen his friend before but now up close he could see that Sebastian wasn’t black like all the other crows. He was brown and grey, covered in different colors. 

“Nice meeting you.” Halua grinned. She reached out and petted the bird’s head much to his pleasure. Sebastian cawed and leaned into the touch before jumping over onto her arm. His sister was surprised at the sudden action but her grin only widened and she giggled. “Thank you for looking after my troublesome brother.” she chuckled and Sebastian seemed rather fond of his new sitting spot. 

“Sorry to say this, Emil, but I think your best buddy just found a new favorite twin.” Kainé pointed out with a smirk. She nudged his side and raised a brow as if she was challenging him. For a moment he pouted but soon Emil too began to grin. He wrapped his arms around Kainé and looked up at her. 

He would never grow tired of seeing his friends. 

“That might be true but I’m still your favorite, right?” When Kainé didn’t respond, Emil began to whine. “Riiiggghhht?” His tone must have been enough as his friend soon began to chuckle. She tapped his forehead and Emil dutifully let go of her. 

“Right, right, yeah. Now stop with that voice, you’re embarrassing even me.” 

Satisfied with Kainé’s confirmation, Emil finally returned his focus to the task at hand. After all, they hadn’t come to the courtyard to mess around. With a deep breath he calmed himself down and approached the first figure. 

Their ages, genders and social status all varied. From young men to older women, from guards to thieves and homeless people. Now that Emil was actually able to see his… his victims, did he truly understand the impact of his powers. Before it had been easy to brush the consequences off. He had petrified one after another and then Kainé had carried their bodies away. But now that he was able to see the scope of his curse it was almost frightening how much devastation lay in his single eye. 

Slowly he walked through the rows of statues, taking them all in. Emil wanted to memorize them, and wanted to remember what he had done to them. This was his burden to carry and he wouldn’t look away anymore. He owed them this much. 

Emil only came to a stop when he reached two statues. At first glance they looked just like all the others. But something about them captivated him. One of them was dressed like a guard, a heavy looking sword in his hands. His expression was that of pure terror and Emil averted his gaze, not yet being able to comprehend that all of them had looked at him like that. 

But no, what truly caught Emil’s full attention was the other statue. It was a young man with pretty ordinary clothes. Nothing truly separated him from the other statues and yet Emil couldn’t pull his eyes away. He carefully reached out and placed his hand onto the petrified spear. While the man’s eyes and face were directed to where he was standing, the spear’s tip was pointed at the ground. The way the man was holding his weapon looked like he had just planned on piercing something. 

Or someone. 

A sudden pain shot through his head. Emil choked on a groan as he fell onto his knees, his hands gripping at hair. The heavy throbbing got worse with each passing second and for a single moment he thought he heard himself screaming at this man, telling him not to hurt— 

Emil whimpered when the pain immediately began to lessen. He leaned against a body for support and faintly he could feel a hand on his forehead. His eyes were still closed and whatever he had thought he had remembered had slipped through his fingers just like that. 

“... okay. You’re okay, Emil. You hear me?” 

Opening his eye, Emil weakly smiled at Halua. It was probably weak of him to still find such comfort in his now younger sister but Emil couldn’t help it. He took several deep breaths as Halua got rid of his pain. Listening to her soft breathing, Emil eventually managed to calm down. 

“Sorry… I-I don’t know what this was about. I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble, sister.” 

But Halua simply chuckled. She nudged her forehead against Emil before helping him back up. “That’s what family is for, silly. Don’t apologize, okay?” His sister squeezed his hand and smiled up at him, fondness in her eyes. “I’ll always be there to help you back up. Don’t forget that, Emil.” 

Emil wasn’t sure how to reply. Even after everything they had been through, Halua was still there for him no matter what. Even now, that he was the older one, she still moved back into the role of the older sibling. And in a way Emil was relieved that nothing had changed between them. He pulled her into another hug and buried his face in her neck. 

“I missed you so much.” Emil whispered and when her embrace tightened he knew she had heard him. Now that they had been given a second chance, Emil would make sure not to waste it. He would protect Halua at all costs. 

“Okay… Let’s get on with it. We have a busy day.”

“Wait a moment, Emil.” Kainé interrupted him. Both he and Halua looked up at her though her attention was on the statues around them. 

“Are you sure you want to do this? Free them?” 

Furrowing his brows, Emil couldn’t quite follow. This had been the sole reason they had come here, hadn’t it? And with Halua most likely being his counterpart he could finally redeem himself. 

“I-I don’t understand. Why shouldn’t we?” he asked hesitantly. 

Kainé walked over to a statue and ran her fingers over his armed weapon. It had been yet another villager who had tried to attack Emil. 

“Think about it. That book freak didn’t just send anyone to you. They were terrible people, right? He chose cheaters, scammers, murderers, shitty parents and abusive partners. If we free them won’t they just go back to what they did before? Isn’t the world a better place without them?” 

Emil’s breath hitched. He stared at his friend though soon studied one statue after another. A part of him felt numb as he realized he had never even considered such an approach. All this time Emil had been so focused on finding a cure that he hadn’t asked himself whether he would be doing the right thing. What even was the morally correct decision here? A quiet voice in his head told him that these people hadn’t been mourned after their disappearance. He wasn’t sure how he knew that but the confidence he felt remained unmatched. In his heart he trusted that thought. 

So what should they do? Release these terrible people so he could sleep better at night? Or keep them as pretty bird baths in order to ensure they wouldn’t cause any more harm? 

Fiddling around with his scarf, Emil walked away from his sister and over to the statue with the spear. He looked at him and his offensive posture. This man had tried to hurt someone so did he truly deserve to be freed again?

He shook his head. 

“But even so, all of this is wrong! No matter how hard or how painful it might be, we can’t put ourselves above anyone else. Who are we to decide who has the right to live and who doesn’t? We can’t judge other lives! If they didn’t learn from this, if they dare to hurt others again then we will find them and pull them to justice. But keeping them like this… or destroying them… that’s not right!” 

Turning on his heel, Emil looked at Kainé and Halua. He held onto his scarf though his expression was determined. “We all have done bad things in our lives but that doesn’t make us bad people! We learn, we mess up, but we get back up! And we strive to do better! If we don’t allow these people to learn from their mistakes then how can we justify our own existence? Sometimes people steal o-or murder because of reasons we can’t even hope to understand. But that doesn’t make them monsters!”

Emil reached out and took Halua’s hands. “Everyone deserves a second chance. We can judge them for their past, but we can’t trap them in the present. They have to be alive in order to change. In order to do better! So please, you two… Please help me give them this opportunity. If they don’t learn we can drag them in front of a council or get them exiled but I don’t want to decide over their lives. We are humans just like them… And we have to believe that people can change… That they are not the monsters others might make them out to be…”

His voice got softer as a warm feeling embraced his heart. “They are human… Nothing more and nothing less than that. No weapons, no monsters. Just human… And nothing will ever change that.”

Slightly out of breath, Emil watched as the other two exchanged a glance. His heart was hammering loudly but when Halua ruffled his hair he knew he had convinced them. Emil sighed in relief and allowed Kainé to mess with his hair as well. 

“A simple yes would have been enough but I appreciate the soulful speech regardless.” Kainé said with a smile. Emil would have thought she was mocking him if it wasn’t for the pride she held in her eyes. “Come on, you two. It’ll be a long day. Emil, lend me a hand so we can carry them all back into the forest. Remember to spread them enough that they aren’t piled up. Halua, prepare yourself to cure them. Take the chicken and some water with you and you better inform us if you get exhausted or there’ll be trouble. Got it?” 

The twins saluted, confirming that they had understood their mission clearly. Emil knew that at the end of the day his muscles would hurt but knowing that his victims would finally be free would be worth it. He watched as Kainé picked up the guy with the spear and somehow he felt relieved when the man was finally out of sight. Shaking his head, he began to drag the closest one towards the exit. 

Okay, yeah, his body would definitely be hurting.

Chapter Text

Two weeks had to pass until Emil would find the courage, time and self motivation to leave his manor. Strengthened by his desire to see Weiss, he and Halua had finally decided to make a daylong trip to the village. His headaches had only gotten worse over the past couple days and his family had decided to take him somewhere else for a change. If the manor kept on hurting, maybe he would do better with a change of scenery. 

Especially because no one knew what caused him so much pain. Emil himself was still confused about it. One moment he would be cleaning up his room and emptying a bag with old clothes and the next he would be kneeling on the floor, whimpering and crying because he had found two sachets of seeds. 

Seeds! Why would he feel sad about a few flower seeds, of all things? Emil had already started to feel embarrassed about these moments of his but that had truly been the last straw. Sure, he didn’t remember how he had gotten his hands on moonflowers but at this point he was mostly starting to get frustrated. 

Just what was wrong with him?

“Are you good to go?” Halua asked as she checked her bag one last time. She was wearing some clothes she had found in those abandoned bedrooms. Apparently this manor had still been full of nice outfits and the twins had spent an entire day just playing dress up, much to Kainé’s amusement. Emil himself wore his favourite purple clothes though this time he wore a dark green cloak over it, effectively hiding all of his body except for arms and legs. If they were to return to the village he didn’t want to be recognized by any of the victims he had petrified. The scarf that had usually been tied around his smaller frame was now fully wrapped around his neck. 

“I’m ready.” Emil agreed as he patted his own bag. They were equipped with waterskins as well as a few coins they had been given by Kainé. She herself didn’t want to accompany them but had wished them safe travels before disappearing into the back of the manor. Emil knew that she wasn’t a people person and her buying groceries for them was already a lot more he could ask for. 

With a soft smile Halua held out her hand and Emil grabbed it without hesitation. Sebastian was perched on his sister’s shoulder and together the three of them left to visit the famous village. 

It took them longer to reach the end of the forest than expected. Emil guessed that it was because they had taken their time and messed around a little. Now that he was actually able to see he hadn’t been able to say no to balancing across old trunks or getting interested in whatever peculiar plant he would be seeing. Knowing of them and what they did was still a far cry from actually being able to see them. 

So it was already late noon when they arrived at the southern gates. 

Something about this place caused him to tense up. Emil wasn’t sure what it was exactly but his body seemed to react mostly by itself. Right, yeah… He had been here before even if he couldn’t remember it. Emil couldn’t deny that these huge holes in memory were starting to scare him. At some point he had mentioned it to Kainé and she too had had similar experiences. None as bad as his but the headaches had been there. It was concerning, to say the least. 

Halua apparently could feel him tense up. There was nothing for her to heal, to rewrite. And so she simply wrapped her arms around his, holding him close. It was incredible how much it did to calm him down. It was funny, really. Everyone who would look at them would think they were a big brother and a little sister when in reality it was the other way around. 

“You’ll be fine.” she whispered and Emil nodded. He wanted to believe her. 

The walk through the busy streets of the shopping area went surprisingly smooth. Not too many paid attention to him and if Emil’s rather unique appearance caught them by surprise, none of them actually said something. He could feel the ancient magic pulsating within his bandaged eye but his other soaked in everything it could. The sight of those people going about the day, the faint music he could hear from a tavern, as well as the smell of different raw materials. This place was buzzing with life and in a way Emil found himself growing more and more curious. 

They had just made it to a nice fountain when his heart suddenly skipped. Emil immediately came to a stop and though Halua made a questioning sound in her throat, the boy couldn’t answer. All he could focus on was an innocently looking booth with a woman sitting next to it. At first glance Emil wouldn’t even have noticed it, really. But a quick look at her items, and the small bags she kept her flower equipment in, reminded him immediately of the sachets he had found. 

“Emil? What’s wrong?” Halua whispered beside him. He could hear her worry and that was enough to force his gaze away. The boy in question shook his head to free his mind before sending his sister a small smile. It didn’t reach his eye. “Just another one of… of those moments. I’m okay. Let’s go.” She seemed hesitant to accept his short answer but Emil already pulled her along. He threw his head back and stared into the sky, wishing to be given a break. 

Huh. Emil wasn’t used to seeing such a clear sky from his hidden manor. There was not a single cloud in sight and the light blue pulled all over their heads. It was a nice color, Emil realized. One that he hadn’t seen often before. 

“Emil?” Halua said, her voice thick with concern. He looked down at his sister though was surprised when she touched his cheek. Only belatedly did he realize that she was wiping a tear away. 

Just what was going on with him? 

Whatever he or his sister planned on saying was drowned out by an excited squeal outside the busy streets. The twins looked at each other and followed the road onto a grassy field, wishing to see just what exactly had caught their attention. It took a little longer for them as either of them would always come to slip on the grass. However, soon enough did Emil spot a sight that made him grin from ear to ear. All sadness was forgotten as he entered a sprint, laughing as he dragged Halua along with him. 

There, around a fountain in the middle of the open grass, was Weiss. The usually collected and rather noble man was busy chasing a little girl around the place who was a lot more agile than him. The girl squealed and screamed all the while Weiss’ muffled complaints could be heard. 

“Weiss!” Emil called out and he waved excessively. The young man came to a stop, probably surprised to hear his name, though the moment their eyes met his friend mirrored his smile.

“Emil, is that you?” Weiss called over and the boy nodded. He and Halua quickly crossed the distance and even though out of breath, Emil grinned from ear to ear when he was finally reunited with his other friend. 

“It’s been a while, Weiss! How have you been?” he asked excitedly. The girl had come to a stop now that her playmate had become distracted and Emil could see her from the corner of his eye. 

“It surely has been too long, young lad. I have been doing just fine and by your appearance I take it you have fared well?”

Emil nodded and with pride he lifted his and Halua’s joined hands. “Weiss, I’d like you to meet my sister, Halua. Halua, this is Weiss!” 

Halua reached out her hand and even chuckled when Weiss took it and bowed down. “It’s Grimm Weiss, actually. However, it is nonetheless a pleasure to finally meet you, young lady. Your brother has been quite dedicated to return you to this world and I can see why. Your mere presence has returned a spark to his step.”

The twins looked at each other just as Emil rubbed his neck in embarrassment. To keep himself busy, the young boy truly took in the appearance of his friend. Kainé had described Weiss to him but she hadn’t done him any justice. The red streaks in his light hair looked just as amazing as he had expected and the fancy robe-like clothes he was wearing were even cooler than Emil could have imagined. Weiss was on a paler side but that was probably because he spent so much time inside the library. In the end Emil came to the conclusion that his friend was pretty. 

“So the hussy did not lie, it appears.” Weiss spoke with amusement. “You truly can see me, can’t you, young Emil?” 

Nodding, Emil began to rock back and forth. He readjusted his green scarf and smiled at his friend, not yet able to tear his eyes away. “You look exactly like I thought you would… And you remind me of royalty! You’re amazing, Weiss!” 

“Heh, well, usually I do not accept flattery but for you I shall make an exception.” Weiss actually joked. “So say, what has brought you here? Or do I have the honor of being the subject of today’s visit?” 

When Halua let go of his hand Emil barely paid attention. His arm disappeared under his cloak and he swayed a little in embarrassment. 

“Yeah! I think so, at least. I missed you and I wasn’t feeling too great back home so sister and I wanted to come see you… Is it bad timing?” His voice became quieter and Emil lowered his head in anticipation. They hadn’t checked in with Weiss so maybe he was super busy. He didn’t want to be a bother. 

But a chuckle quickly reassured him. “Worry not, my friend. It has been a quiet day and for you I will always make time.”

Emil’s face brightened up and he was just about to turn to Halua when he finally noticed her absence. He looked around, scanning the vast green field but soon spotted her near the fountain. She was talking to the young girl from earlier and judging by their expressions they were getting along well. 

“It appears your sister has found my protégé.” Weiss mused. Emil furrowed his brows and looked up at his friend. “Y-Your… what?”

“My protégé. This young girl has been orphaned at a young age and for a long time she had suffered from a disease. But now that she is doing better I have taken it upon myself to teach her what she has missed in the last few years. She has no one left in her life and so I, and the village to an extent, have chosen to watch over her.”

Emil listened to his friend as his attention returned to the young girl. She seemed energetic and bubbly, similar to how he had been when he had been younger… But Emil used to have Halua by his side, and had someone who had looked after him. The only reason he had ever been allowed to be a childish child had been because Halua had grown up for the two of them. 

A small groan left him as he reached for his head. It didn’t hurt a lot but something seemed to be pushing against his eyes. Like something wanted out. 

“Are you alright, Emil?” Weiss asked beside him. A hand began to rub circles on his back though it did little to soothe him. No, Emil couldn’t relax knowing that not even here he would be safe from those headaches. 

“W-Weiss…” Emil forced out. “Have you… Do you have any memory gaps?” 

The hand on his back stopped. The boy forced his eye open and stared at his friend, a bewildered look on his face. 

“You too?” Weiss asked and it sent a chill down his spine. Something had happened to the three of them. Something no one could remember… 

“Was it him?” Emil found himself whispering.

And though the little girl’s and Halua’s laughter rang through the air, Emil found himself freezing. 

“... Let’s go inside, Emil. It appears we have quite some talking to do.”

Chapter Text

Yonah’s home, as Emil had been informed was the little girl’s name, was a small one. It had only two levels and the kitchen wasn’t exactly spacey but they all fitted inside. Emil had asked his sister to distract Yonah with the promise of telling her everything afterwards. She had reluctantly agreed though the glance she had sent him had been one of worry. 

Now sitting at the kitchen table, a hot cup of tea between his hands, Emil looked around. He didn’t recognize the place and yet it felt somehow familiar. The scent especially made him think of safety and warmth. Why, he once again didn’t know. 

“Are you alright, Emil?” Weiss asked from across the table. Now with his sister being upstairs Emil didn’t even try to fake a smile. He shook his head and hid half of his face behind his scarf. 

“No… No, I’m not, Weiss. Since I woke up with one eye intact and Halua being awake, something had felt… wrong. I have countless nightmares but I can never remember anything. And then… Then there are those weird… impressions, I get. Like a feeling that I should know something but don’t. I look at things that are so ordinary and yet they give me headaches as if my body is trying to remember something.” 

He sighed and began to slide down his chair, his face now fully disappearing behind his green scarf. “I don’t know, Weiss… I don’t feel complete. Does that even make sense?” 

With his eyes now closed Emil listened to his friend picking up his own cup. Sometimes all the different colors and new sensations felt overwhelming and Emil would end up closing his eye to go back to what he had grown used to. Though now that he focused on his other senses it only became more apparent that this place seemed familiar. 

Emil groaned in frustration. 

“It certainly sounds odd but it makes sense, my friend. I too have experienced those moments. When I look at young Yonah I feel like I have forgotten something important, and when I enter the library it seems a lot more empty than I remember. I was confused at first as to what this feeling was but now that you have brought it to attention it does seem to resemble the time we all received our curses.” 

Emil didn’t like this confirmation one bit. Before he could have brushed it off as his own paranoia but now that they had spoken it into existence there was no way he could forget about it. 

“Do you think it was him? Did he mess with our memories again?” Emil came out of his little hiding spot to glare at the table. “B-But why! We didn’t do anything bad, did we?” It didn’t make sense. 

“We didn’t do anything wrong that we can remember.” Weiss pointed out. Whatever Emil had wanted to say next was gone the moment he truly thought about it. 

What had they done to warrant such drastic manners? 

“I… I’m scared, Weiss. Whatever he took from me, I don’t feel right without it…” Emil whispered. His heart was hurting just sitting here and not knowing why began to tear him apart. He began to take his scarf and cloak off, revealing his normal outfit underneath. He was starting to feel too hot and restricted underneath these items. With a small sigh Emil placed his head on top of the scarf, using it as a self made pillow.

“It’s so… weird.” Emil continued. “I can finally look at you all without having to be afraid. Sister is alive and well. Kainé is still with us… So why can’t I be truly happy? What did I forget that my heart remembers?” 

A hand squeezed his arm in silent comfort and Emil was thankful for his kind friend. He knew he wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Kainé and Weiss. 

“I fear I cannot answer that question, young lad. But know that you are not alone. Whatever has been taken from us, we will regain it. I have the utmost faith that we will.” 

And Emil wanted to believe him. He smiled tiredly at the man just as voices came down the stairs. When Yonah and Halua joined them they changed the topic to something more light-hearted though Emil eventually stopped listening. 

The scent around him was simply too distracting. 

“Thank you for your time, Weiss.” Emil said as he and Halua exited the house. The sun was starting to set and it was time for them to return to the manor. Weiss and Yonah stood in the doorframe, silently watching as Emil began to put his cloak and scarf back on. He had noticed for a while now that the little girl had been eyeing him whenever she had thought he had been distracted. At some point it had become concerning but Emil hadn’t voiced it to Weiss. 

Halua and Weiss were just saying their goodbyes when Yonah had apparently decided to act. She ran the short way down to him and grabbed his arm, dragging him back towards the house. 

“Wha—” he wanted to ask but the little girl was already interrupting him.

“I want to show you something! Come on, come on, hurry up!” 

At a loss of words, Emil quickly looked at Halua before he followed the girl back inside. He wasn’t given a single moment to regain his composure as he was dragged upstairs into what he perceived to be Yonah’s room. Weiss was calling up the stairs, telling her to be nicer to Emil but it seemed like the girl either hadn’t heard or hadn’t cared. 

“Wait a moment!” Yonah exclaimed as she sat down in front of one of her bookshelves. Emil was still confused as to what was happening but reluctantly he took a seat on her bed. He watched with interest as she seemingly searched for something and after half her shelf had been emptied she finally returned to his side with a heavy looking book. Her cheeks were puffed out and Emil quickly took the book from her, freeing her from the burden. It was surprising how heavy that thing actually was. 

“I knew you looked familiar!” Yonah said happily even while out of breath. She placed her hands onto his shoulders and then pointed down at the book. “You’re just like the hero in my book!” 

Wait… What?

Not comprehending her words, Emil finally stared down at the heavy book he had been given. A single word was written on the cover but no matter how much he focused on the letters, he couldn’t make it out. It felt like the writing was constantly changing, as if his brain couldn’t process what it was seeing. The blurriness of the letters soon began to hurt his eye and he looked back up to the girl. 

“What do you mean by that?” Emil instead asked. It was adorable how offended Yonah looked as she had apparently expected him to catch on immediately. 

“You’re like the hero in my book, silly! You wear purple and you have light hair, it’s funny!” 

Well, that didn’t really do for an explanation. Emil experimentally opened the book but just as expected he still couldn’t read the letters. How Yonah could make out anything in this blurry mess of a letter salad was beyond him. 

“Oh, uhm… Thank you?” Emil said with uncertainty. He really didn’t know how to react but Yonah seemed fine with it. In fact, she looked quite excited at the idea of retelling one of her favourite stories. 

“The book is about a boy who is always trying to take care of everyone else around him! One day he gets lost in a forest searching for plants and he meets the hero! And the hero is super nice and friendly but he has dangerous eyes so he covers them. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone! And they become friends and the boy finds out but it’s okay and they play music and look at flowers together!” 

Yonah’s excitement began to die down and a pout appeared on her lips. “I like the story but it just stops! No warning and no ending! It makes me sad because I want to know if the boy and hero have a happy ending.”

Emil’s head was racing. He could feel a terrible headache creeping up on him and without a word he got up, startling both Yonah and himself. Forcing a trembling smile onto his lips, Emil ruffled the girl’s hair. 

“I-I have to go. I’m sorry.”

But her arms stopped him. 

“You can have it. The book, I mean!”

Halting where he was, Emil stared down at the little girl. Her expression was a lot more sorrowful than he had remembered. 

“You looked sad and lonely. And that made me sad… But maybe you can find a friend like that too! See it as a teaching book!”

Not knowing what to say, Emil simply nodded. He took the heavy book and put it into his bag, feeling its weight on his shoulder. He mumbled his thanks and disappeared before his headache could fully render him unconscious. 

Emil had barely stumbled out of the front door when Halua was already by his side. He could feel her fingers on his forehead and he whimpered in relief when the pain immediately began to disappear. He leaned against his sister for support though couldn’t make out the words she was saying. All Emil could focus on was the book he had been given and a story that sounded too familiar to be a mere fairytale. 

And as the twins returned to the manor, Emil had to ask himself once again. 

Just what had been taken from him?

Chapter Text

When Kainé had offered to train them Emil had politely declined. Halua’s excitement had certainly made up for his lack of presence and for a moment the boy had wondered whether he should worry about his sister’s willingness to learn how to wield a weapon. But then again he knew how protective Halua was of them all so maybe knowing how to defend one’s loved ones wasn’t that foolish after all. 

Nonetheless, Emil had turned down the offer. Ever since he had returned from the village his mind had always come back to the book. He hadn’t told anyone about it. It somehow had felt too intimate, like a story that no one else should know about. Emil wasn’t sure why he wanted to keep it hidden but his guts had told him that it had been the right decision. 

Kainé’s orders grew fainter the longer he walked and soon he couldn’t hear his family at all anymore. It was rare nowadays that he would find some time to himself and though he usually adored having his sister by his side, this time he knew that he had to be alone. 

This was something he had to face by himself. 

The study room was quiet as he entered it. The door softly closed behind him and Emil walked over to his beloved piano. He could see his reflection on its surface as he ran his fingers over the beautiful instrument. After taking two deep breaths he pulled out the hidden items from his bag. First was the heavy book. He quietly put it onto his piano so he would be able to see it from a different angle. The other items were two little sachets of moonflower seeds. Just looking at them squeezed his heart in an uncomfortable way but Emil stopped himself from putting them back where he couldn’t see them. 

He would no longer run away. 

Sitting down in front of his piano, Emil cracked his knuckles and shook his hands. He hadn’t attempted to play for a long time now as it had been too disheartening to fail over and over again. But now Emil believed that his blockage was connected to his memories. After all, he had been playing just fine before those gaps had appeared. 

With a deep breath Emil placed his fingers onto the keys and began to play. 

The beginning notes of Sacrifice filled the room and for a few moments Emil believed that he could overcome his barricade when suddenly he hit the wrong key. His whole body flinched when the harmonic sound was destroyed but he forced himself to move on. Teeth were gnashing as he made mistake after mistake but he kept on pushing forward. Anger and frustration seethed just underneath his skin and Emil glared at the book, blaming it for the terrible feelings that had clawed into his heart. 

What did he lose?

Emil wanted to scream. He wanted to vent, wanted to destroy, wanted to let go of his anger. Never had he felt such hopelessness and hot tears began to spill from his eyes, turning the blindfold wet. With a frustrated growl he tore the cloth off his other eye and for the first time since he had awoken that day did he see the world with both eyes. 

His fingers still moved over the keys as he listened to the ugly mistakes he made. The soothing and slow pace of his beloved song picked up but Emil didn’t care. He changed his favourite melody, tore a verse away and simply stomped over it as he moved on without hesitation.

What had been taken from him?

The throbbing pain returned the longer he forced himself to play. Like invisible arms tearing at his skin, the headache tried its best to make him stop. But Emil couldn’t stop. Not now. Not ever. 

And when Sacrifice was drowned out by his despair, Emil could hear something. 

“... my footsteps?” 

Pale eyes suddenly opened. Emil looked around in the room, bewilderment in his eyes but there was no one with him. His fingers stumbled over one another but he immediately caught himself. He wouldn’t let go. With all his strength he pushed through and chased that voice, silently screaming at it to return. 

“... friends now.” 

There it was again. Throughout the agonizing pain in his head Emil could hear it. It was the voice of a male. Young, by the sound of it, probably not even of age yet.

Emil called out to him even when his fingers began to cramp. 

“You are Emil. My friend. And nothing will ever change that.” 

The scent of Yonah’s home came to his mind. More tears fell onto the white and black keys but Emil kept his eyes shut tightly, causing white spots to appear in his vision. His heart was threatening to burst from his chest but with trembling fingers he continued to play. 

“I want to let you into my life.” 

Emil whimpered when his mind was flooded with impressions. There was nothing for him to see behind the blackness of his closed eyes but the sensations were overwhelming. That familiar smell, a touch on his cheek, his hand buried in hair, and… 

And lips against his own. 

Emil felt like he was dying. The pressure became unbearable as more and more memories dared to break upon him and yet he stubbornly continued to poke at them. He was choking on his own muffled screams but no matter how much it hurt, he pushed on. He couldn’t stop now, he was too close. An image floated just out of his reach, something he recognized as a piece of paper but it was too far away for him to make out the drawn lines. Emil called for it, begged for it to come closer but every time he thought he could reach it the paper would be just out of reach again. 

“Emil, please forgive me.” 

He shook his head. No, he wouldn’t — he couldn’t forgive this. Pain, sadness and desperation clawed at his heart as an immense anguish gripped him tightly. Emil had lost someone… 

“Come back.” Emil whispered through the numbing pain. He felt light-headed and his fingers began to slow down again. His despair faded as all that was left was a single word echoing through his mind. 

Sacrifice. 

“Come back to me.”

Reaching out for the piece of paper behind his eyes, Emil knew that he was on the verge of losing consciousness. His face was red with tears but he kept his eyes closed. In his mind he stretched his hand out for the drawing but when he finally grabbed it, it wasn’t paper anymore. He could feel the warmth of a hand holding his, and an amused huff that was like music to him rang through his head. He was drawn closer and soon felt lips right next to his ear.

“I hear you, Emil… I’ll be waiting for you.” 

Pale eyes shot open and Emil didn’t register his chair falling to the ground. He stumbled around the piano and threw the door wide open just before he entered a sprint. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he ran to his bedroom, the headache and pain forgotten. His breath sounded heavy and his body screamed at him with exhaustion but Emil didn’t care. He ran down the hallways, barely noticing his surroundings but finally he reached his bedroom. The door was slammed open and Emil hurried over to a drawer at his table. He pulled it open and threw various pencils and ink bottles to the ground until he finally found what he had been looking for. Trembling fingers grabbed the rolled paper and he removed the simple string to uncover its forgotten secrets. 

“I told you I would remember you…” 

The drawing was still as beautiful as he remembered. His fingertips ghosted over a small nose, neatly tied hair and eyes that spoke of an endless kindness he himself had been allowed to experience. Emil held the drawing close and even when he heard two voices calling for him he didn’t move from his spot. 

“...Nier.”

Chapter Text

Kainé and Halua found him on the floor of his bedroom, hugging a piece of paper to his chest. It must have been quite the worrying view for them but all Emil could focus on was the internal peace he had found. His eyes were closed and when Halua called his name he finally responded. 

“I was running… from the memories of losing the one closest to me… But I found him.” 

Opening his good eye, Emil smiled at his sister. The tears had finally stopped and he looked back down at the drawing, his finger tracing the lines of that face. 

“I found Nier…”

Halua stared at him for a moment before she noticed Kainé holding her head. His sister placed her hand onto the woman’s face and soon whispered something Emil couldn’t make out. He used the time to push himself back up onto his trembling legs. They threatened to give in under his weight but Emil ignored the pain. 

“Kainé, go and grab Weiss! We got a shrine to climb!” 

It took way too long for his liking until they had all managed to gather back in the manor. Emil had carried his evidence into the living-room and even though Halua had told him several times to rest he couldn’t sit still for even a moment. Now that he remembered everything, he needed to confront the Shadowlord as soon as possible. They had already wasted so much time and Nier was waiting for him. 

Walking up and down impatiently, Emil clapped his hands the moment everyone was seated. Kainé and Weiss sat on one side of the table while Halua sat on the other. Emil himself stood at the head, walking up and down to get rid of some of his energy. 

“Is he truly alright?” he could hear Weiss ask but his sister merely shrugged her shoulders. 

“I’m fine. Great, actually! Not necessarily body wise but that’s besides the point.” Emil placed his hands onto the thick book that Yonah had treasured. He pushed it over to Weiss and with satisfaction he could see that his friend recognized its style.

“This is one of my blood grimoires… How did you get it?” 

“That’s not important.” Emil said, brushing the question off. It would be too distracting to retell his encounter with Yonah and it would pull away from the actual topic at hand. “This is one of yours, right? Can you read its title?” 

Weiss stared at him as if he had grown another head but eventually his and Kainé’s attention both were drawn to the book. They furrowed their brows and when Weiss looked at him again, it was clear what the answer was. 

“No, I… How could this be? I have never encountered a creation of mine that which I cannot comprehend… What is the meaning of this, Emil?”

Taking the book, Emil pushed it over to his sister. “Halua, without reading it aloud. Can you make out the letters?” 

Halua hesitantly nodded and even opened the book to its first few pages before closing it again. “I… Yeah, I can read it just fine. Why?”

As if his point had been proven, Emil pulled the book back towards him. He was still protective of its content. 

“Emil, what have you realized that is unknown to us?” Weiss pushed on. In response, Emil simply handed over the drawing. 

“The three of us… We were made to forget a precious companion. That book you made from his blood… And this drawing you did of him for me… They are proof of his existence even if he himself gave it away.”

Holding onto his scarf, Emil’s eyes softened. “The person we forgot about is Nier…” He looked over at Kainé with a small smile. “The delivery boy who got kicked by goats…” His attention moved to Weiss. “... The noisy villager with a sick sister and secrets you had to uncover yourself…” 

He picked up the sachet and poured the flower seeds into his hands. “Nier became the Shadowlord’s vessel… He sacrificed himself so Yonah would be cured from the black disease… And then the Shadowlord erased our memories of our friend.”

“Yonah?” Emil heard Weiss ask. No doubt this must have been a surprise to him, seeing as how he had spent his past weeks living with the young girl. 

The boy nodded. He watched as both Weiss and Kainé began to reach for their heads though when Halua got up from her chair, Emil placed his hand onto her arm. “Don’t.” he whispered to his sister. It was heart wrenching to hear his friends in such pain but sometimes this exact pain was necessary to move forward. 

“My goodness… Nier… How could I have forgotten about this stubborn lad?” Weiss gasped as he still held onto his head. Kainé didn’t seem to be doing much better. Her grip on her hair was a lot more painful looking and her eyes were squinted shut. “This… fucking no-good bastard… He fucking upped and left us, I’m gonna beat the ever loving shit out of him!”

Of course this would be the way in which Kainé would express her worries. 

“We need to get him back, guys.” Emil pushed on. He felt sorry for not allowing his friends more time but now that they were starting to remember they couldn’t risk losing him again. 

“I want to go back to the Lost Shrine. And I want to find the Shadowlord. There has got to be a way for us to bring Nier back! If the Shadowlord can take him from us that easily he should also be able to return him!”

Leaning onto his hands and over the table, Emil looked at his sister and friends. “Please lend me your strength! Help me bring him back home!”

He was slightly out of breath, his hair a mess but his eyes remained unwavering. Halua was the first to move. She stood up and walked to his side, resting her hand on his shoulder. Emil could see her love in her smile. “I’m not quite sure I understand everything yet… But if this Nier is someone this dear to you then you have my support. I will help you, Emil.”

Weiss was next. His friend pushed himself up and readjusted his clothes. “If you climb the shrine and search for our companion I will lend you all my strength. Let’s find this poor lad, he must be tired of waiting at this point. No one is as impatient as him.”

When Kainé got up her chair almost fell over. She rubbed her nose and huffed some hair out of her face. “Let’s drag that squirt back where he belongs. And if I get to kick that bastard’s ass while doing so, all the better.” 

And as his friends gathered around him Emil truly felt hopeful. They could do this. They could find Nier and bring him back. 

“Just wait a little while longer.” Emil whispered in a quiet promise. 

Now that he remembered everything Emil also remembered how exhausting and complicated the way up the shrine had been. Sure, this time he could actually see where he was stepping but it didn’t make it much easier. He leaned onto his staff for support and took a few deep breaths before climbing over the next pile of rubble. 

Kainé had taken it upon herself to make sure that none of them left the manor unarmed. She had her signature twin blades on her back while Weiss had been handed a rapier. Halua, to the surprise of everyone, had insisted on a pair of combat gauntlets. Her reasoning had been that her curse activated through touch and she would be most useful if she could shield her arms and get up close and personal. To say her determination had both impressed and frightened him would have been an understatement. The most surprising fact, however, had been Kainé actually agreeing with her. Whatever she had taught his sister in their little one on one session must have been enough for Kainé to trust Halua's decision. 

Emil, on the other hand, hadn’t wanted to accept any weapon at all. It didn’t feel right to carry one with him but after several discussions he had finally caved in. His weapon of choice had been a golden staff. Rather than carrying a blade he preferred having a non-fatal way of defending himself. With enough force he could probably knock someone out cold or even break bones but he promised himself he wouldn’t draw blood. 

Emil looked over the railing to see how high they had gotten already. If the stairs had still been intact the climb would have been so much better but as it was, he and the others were forced to take several detours just to make it to the next level. Kainé and Weiss were so kind to help Halua whenever her short legs would turn out to be a problem and though Emil felt guilty for having dragged his sister into this mess she had been more than determined to accompany him. 

He would never be able to thank her enough. 

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, did they finally reach the door that would first lead outside. The bright light of the sun was unexpected after all the time they had spent in the dark shrine, and Emil had to shield his good eye until it had grown used to the change in brightness. 

 “Wow…” Halua whispered from somewhere to his left and Emil could do little but agree. Before when they had climbed this building he hadn’t been able to see anything. But now…

“This view… It's beautiful.” 

From this far up Emil could see into the far distance. Mountains were stacked around them and no matter where he looked he could see long abandoned buildings and structures. A gentle breeze messed with his hair and Emil’s hold on his staff tightened. 

He had never quite realized how beautiful this world could be. 

It took a few tries until Weiss and Kainé got him and Halua to move. Though they were careful of their every step, both twins caught one another stealing one or two more glances of the view. A small hand found his and Emil took it without looking. 

“Hey, sister?” He asked as they were forced to climb ladders in order to proceed forward. 

“What is it?” Halua answered though her voice sounded slightly strained as she climbed onto a nearby box so she could be pulled upwards by Kainé.

“Once this is all over… I want us to see the ocean.” 

Halua hesitated as she reached for Kainé’s hand and soon their gazes met. She cocked her head and smiled. 

“... I’d like that.” 

Together the twins climbed the remaining way and after a few more minutes the group of friends found themselves in front of the door that would lead to the Shadowlord’s domain. Emil could feel his heart racing. Anticipation, fear, but also hope and love pumped through his veins. 

With a deep breath he pushed the doors open.

Everything was just the way Emil remembered. The smell, the length of the hallways, the echoes of their footsteps. Truly, nothing had changed at all except for one thing.

He couldn’t feel the Shadowlord. 

At first, Emil hadn’t realized this little but so important detail. He had been too focused on his heartbeat, the sounds around him, and the whispers of his friends to notice. But now that he had, he couldn’t shake it off. 

The Shadowlord had to be here. He just had to. 

Pushing forward, the small group crossed one hallway after another. Emil didn’t let himself be distracted by the gorgeous ballroom or the creepy looking stairs that seemed to be going on forever. He kept his sight on his goal and not once did he stop to even think about what could possibly happen. His knuckles turned white from the strong grip he had on the staff but Emil used the pain to remember Nier. 

No one would take these memories from him. They were his, they belonged only to him. And he wouldn’t hesitate to stand his ground. He would protect what was most precious to him. 

“I don’t like this.” Halua whispered beside him. Emil couldn’t hold it against her. He too felt his skin crawl the further down they went. 

“It’s okay. I know it’s scary but whatever will happen, we will be together. I promise I’ll keep you safe.” 

And in his heart Emil knew these words to be true. For too many years now Halua had always looked after him, had held back her own tears while wiping his away. He couldn’t rely on her anymore to catch him and through the years they had spent apart Emil had grown in body and mind. No longer would he allow his sister to shield him, from now on they would always stand side by side. 

Though they weren’t the only twins that had decided to stick together. 

Entering one of the last rooms before their destination, the group of friends was taken aback by the presence of Devola and Popola. The redheaded ladies were sitting on chairs and when the door behind them fell shut the two looked up from whatever they had been doing. 

“Finally! You let us wait long enough.” Devola explained as she got up from her seat. His friends immediately reached for their weapons but Emil was glad when they didn’t do anything else. If possible he wanted to resolve this peacefully. 

“Lady Popola… Lady Devola… What are you doing here?” Emil asked as he took a hesitant step forward. His staff hung loosely from his arm though his knuckles were still white. He couldn’t afford to relax. 

“Well, believe me when I say we would rather be down in the village either. However, a small birdie told us that you guys were on your way here and while I have no clue how that’s possible we obviously had to come here and stop you.” Devola twirled a small staff in her hand and Kainé gnashed her teeth from somewhere behind him. 

“Stop us… But why?”

“And why the fuck are you two assholes even working for a bastard like him? Do you have no self respect?” Kainé chimed in. Emil flinched slightly but he couldn’t tell her off. He, too, had been wondering about that. 

Popola, who was still seated at the long table, sighed. While Devola seemed to enjoy herself at least a little bit, Popola looked more exhausted than anything. “Allow me to explain.” she said with a much softer voice than her sister. “Our family has served the Shadowlord for many generations now. He had been kind to our ancestors and had helped them in their times of need, and in return our family had sworn their loyalty to him. You must understand that he is not the villain here. Rather, he wishes to help.” 

It was a story that was difficult to believe. The Shadowlord had taken Nier from them…

Though that wasn’t all that right either. Nier had agreed to the exchange. And the way the Shadowlord had addressed each one of them, had described their positions in his little game… At least in Emil’s eyes the Shadowlord wasn’t the big and evil guy the other made him out to be. 

“What happened to him?” Emil found himself asking. There was no malice in his tone nor mockery. He took another step forward as his hands finally relaxed. He wanted to understand. 

Popola cocked her head as he approached some more. Her eyes were soft and Emil thought he had seen a small flicker of affection in them. 

“He used to be human.” she whispered. “He once lived a good life and the love and adoration he had felt for his sister had been unmatched. But she had grown sick with the black disease and he left to find a cure. No country was too far, and no path too long. He searched and when medicine had reached its limit he consulted other… experts.” 

“It turned out he was quite the talented young man when it came to magic.” Devola continued. She inspected her staff and held it into the sunlight that broke through the windows. “That’s how he met our ancestors. They were studying that which couldn’t be explained. And in him they found a perfect ally. Together they worked to uncover the mysteries of what we now call magic. They travelled together, collected dozens of scary artifacts and every time they found a new source of energy it seemed like the Shadowlord was resonating with it.” 

“Eventually he returned to his home with the powers needed to heal someone of the fatal black disease…” Popola said. Her voice sounded heavy and Emil felt a shiver run down his spine. He could guess what had happened. “... But he was too late. When he finally made it back to his home, his beloved sister had already fallen victim to the merciless sickness. She had lost the fight weeks before he had arrived… And upon finding her unsent letters he realized that she had wished to see him one last time.” 

“His sacrifice had been for nothing.” Devola concluded. She sat down on the table and looked over to their group. “He had become a being greater than humanity, had studied and learned so much magic and yet it had been for nothing… Driven by despair, the Shadowlord became hopeless in the face of the universe. He realized that no one cared for justice…”

“The good were killed, hunted, stolen from and abused. And in return the lingering evil prevailed, victorious to see yet another day. The universe had not cared about him or his single sister… And when he realized this, he decided that he should be the one to care.” Popola finally stood up and walked around the table, picking up her own staff. “For so long now the Shadowlord has watched over all of us from the shadows. His mortal body eventually failed him but his core remained. Incapable of interacting with the world any longer, the Shadowlord chose knights who would represent his will. They were given gifts and sent out into the world to follow his bidding.”

The twins met in front of the table and lifted their arms, their staffs pointed at their group. 

“... And that’s why we can’t allow you any further. I’m sorry, but we can’t have you guys rebel against him. It might be true that you were his chosen weapons but if you turn against him you will be stopped. Everything he has given you can be taken away.” 

The air around them suddenly turned cold. Emil’s eyes widened and when Kainé yelled for them to run, they did. As fast as he could he ran towards the heavy doors that would take them to the Shadowlord’s room but before he could make it through they were already shut tight before him. Emil hammered against the door but no matter how much he pulled or pushed, nothing moved. He spun around on his feet just in time to see Devola attacking Kainé. When their weapons clashed a wave of red magic surged through the room and Emil could feel the brute force behind that attack. 

“The door won’t open!” Emil called into the room. Weiss had been drawn into a battle against Popola and Halua ran around them in order to reach him. Reaching out, Emil managed to grab her hand and pull her away just in time as a heavy blast of magic hit the wall behind her. Halua placed her fingers onto the door but quickly cursed. 

“It’s too thick! I can’t get rid of it like this!” 

Emil’s head was racing. He looked around with wide eyes, desperate to find a way for them to force their way through. His eye finally landed on Kainé. 

“Kainé! We need your arm!” Emil screamed over the sounds of the battle. 

“A little busy over here!” was her reply just as she kicked Devola in the stomach. Their fight was fast paced and Emil felt terrified at the differences in skills. It was clear that Devola and Popola had been preparing themselves their whole lives while he and Halua could barely hold a weapon. Weiss was keeping up well enough thanks to his old training but it was obvious that the years of pacifism had gotten to him. While he could match Popola’s dexterity with his own agility, it seemed like it already took all of his concentration not to mess up. 

“Halua! Help me distract Devola so Kainé can kick the door in!” 

And when their eyes met, there was no hesitation in either his or hers. The siblings ran around Popola and Weiss until they found themselves just behind Kainé. 

“We need you at the door! We’ll handle this!” Emil screamed at his friend. He could see Kainé being distracted for a moment and when Devola tried to use the moment of weakness to her advantage, she screamed in surprise when her hand suddenly grew heavier. Stone began to form around her hand but to her and others surprise, it stopped just at her wrist. 

Emil clutched the blindfold in his hand as he closed his right eye. 

“Go!” he screamed again and this time Kainé actually moved. Emil could see her unwrapping her limb, revealing to everyone an arm covered in white scales. Her claws shone silver in the light and when Kainé hit the door, it left behind a smaller dent. 

“Fuck! Emil, it’s gonna take me a while to get through!” she called over just when he jumped out of the way of an incoming blast. 

“That’s okay! We’ll cover you!” the boy replied. His heart was racing and his face grew pale as he watched the stone around Devola’s hand crumble. With a burst of energy she freed her weapon and didn’t even hesitate before pointing it at him. 

“Emil, down!” It was all the warning he was given before Halua threw a handful of stones at Devola. The pebbles began to merge midair and soon a heavy brick hit her head straight on. The woman fell to her knees and seemed to be disoriented before she got back up. Blood ran down the side of her face and with an angry scream she charged at Halua. 

But Emil was quicker. He sprinted in front of his sister and lifted his staff in defense. His weapon began to grow heavy as stone sprouted from it like flowers. Halua immediately reached out for the petrification and like crystals they exploded in front of them, creating a wall of piercing sharp splinters. Devola barely avoided the attack with her magic but some slivers had made it through her wall. 

“You little… That’s it, playtime’s over!” 

Both Emil and Halua jumped to the sides as a lance made of magic came crashing into the floor where they had just been standing. Emil had barely recovered when he saw the twin standing above him, her staff aimed at his chest. He had no time to react when she pushed down but before he could feel any pain, a gauntlet appeared in his vision. Halua was beside him, her arm reached out and the staff drilled into her skin instead of his chest. His sister cried out in pain but before Devola could pull back Halua reached for the wand. Though she had only touched it for a moment, it already began to crack. 

“Halua!” Emil yelled but she simply ignored him when Devola backed off. They both got up and Halua immediately touched her arm. The relief of seeing the wound close was short lived because a moment later Kainé appeared in front of them, her weapons drawn. The scales of her arm were covered in dust and blood but it didn’t seem to faze her much.

“Get going!” she screamed before drawing Devola’s attention away from them. Emil was frozen in place but when Halua grabbed him he ran alongside her. Just as expected, Kainé had managed to claw a small hole into the door. It was not yet big enough to go through but it should be good enough. Emil’s ears rang as he watched his sister place her hand onto the wood and the hole slowly but surely began to expand. When it had reached the scope of a smaller barrel Halua collapsed against his side. Panic and fear spread through him but upon closer inspection did Emil realize that it had been the exhaustion from using her powers so excessively. He and the others had grown used to their curses but Halua was still too inexperienced. 

“Halua, I—” But his sister shook her head. Though tired and weak, she pushed his hands away. “Go. We’ll be right behind you.” 

His heart broke. Tears began to gather in his eyes and he shook his head, refusing to leave any of them behind. A hand touched his cheek and Emil immediately placed his own on top. 

“Emil.” Halua said, her voice just a bit stronger. “Look at our friends.”

And he did. He watched as Kainé tried to hit Devola who was too quick for her heavy blades. He whimpered when Weiss barely escaped an attack from Popola. 

“They are fighting for you. For Nier. For our new family. Let us worry about this fight, you go and get him back. We will be right behind you.” 

Though reluctant to leave, Emil knew that this might be their only chance. He wiped his tears away and placed a kiss onto Halua’s forehead. 

“Thank you.” he whispered before grabbing both his staff and blindfold. It was a tight squeeze but he made it through the small hole. When he turned around to offer Halua a hand, he could see her touching the door. He screamed for her to cut it off but the hole had returned to its original size, preventing anyone from following him. 

That was it. There was no way back. 

Getting back up onto his feet, Emil closed his eyes for a moment as he tuned everything out. His heart began to slow down and when he exhaled, he covered both of his eyes with the cloth. 

With his staff in hand Emil walked the remaining way to the door that would lead him to the Shadowlord.

He would get them all out of here. He had to.

Chapter Text

The heavy door fell shut behind him as he fully entered the final room. With his eyes covered he couldn’t see anything but he preferred it that way. Instead, Emil focused on his other senses. He could hear nothing but his soft breathing and light footsteps, could sense nothing but his own presence. When the boy came to a stop, it must have been somewhere in the middle of the room. 

“Shadowlord.” Emil spoke. The word echoed from the walls surrounding him and yet there was no response. No magic he could sense, no unusual scent. 

Was he truly alone? 

Lifting his staff, Emil banged its end back onto the ground, creating a loud sound that hurt in his ears. Yet there was still no response. 

“I have gone through great ordeals to come here. I have uncovered the memories you took from me, I have climbed the shrine and I have made it past your guards.” 

He began to turn in a circle, trying to sense anything . Emil didn’t believe that he wasn’t being heard. They hadn’t come all this way for nothing. 

“I… I have come here to talk. For five years I have followed the purpose that had been given to me. I served you, and I used my curse as it was expected of me. But today I wish… Need to talk to you…” 

Coming to a stop, Emil held his staff with both his hands. He guided the weapon to his face and leaned his forehead against it as his eyes closed behind the blindfold. 

“As your soul… I’m begging you… Please hear me.” 

The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Emil heard nothing but his heartbeat, felt nothing but a gentle breeze from a nearby window. Yet he didn’t move. He would remain where he was… After all, this was his only plan. If the Shadowlord wasn’t here then Emil wouldn’t know where to go. 

And so he stayed, wishing with all his might to meet the one he had been so hesitant to face before. 

Eventually a new sound tore through the quietness of the room. Emil’s head shot up and though he furrowed his brows, his heart felt just a little bit lighter when that familiar cawing appeared. 

“Sebastian?” Emil found himself asking and soon enough did his staff feel heavier. The fluttering of wings came to a stop and the boy smiled when he realized that his friend had taken a seat on his new weapon. 

“What are you doing here? Did you follow us all the way?”

Though to Emil’s confusion Sebastian left him as quickly as he had appeared. The comfortable weight disappeared and all he could hear was the flapping of wings as Sebastian flew towards another part of the room. 

“He did. Quite a loyal friend, isn’t he? Though the air is so much thinner up here he still came by to inform me.”

Emil’s heart skipped a beat. He knew that voice. Of course he did, it had been the one trying to reach him in his dreams. The one that had reached out to him when he had tried to remember. 

It was Nier and yet it wasn’t.

It sounded wrong. The one who was using the voice spoke deeper and his pronunciation was different. The melody to his words felt off as well and if Emil didn’t know better he would have said that they were separate people. 

But he did know better. 

His whole body tensed up and he moved his staff to the side, taking on a more defensive posture. Emil didn’t want to fight even if his instincts warned him of an enemy he couldn’t defeat. 

“Shadowlord.” he said, stating the obvious. How the other had entered this room without his notice was beyond Emil but it only scared him more. His opponent was in possession of powers he couldn’t even hope to understand. 

“Emil.” the Shadowlord replied. Hearing his name being spoken by that voice was almost enough to break him. 

Almost. 

Furrowing his brows, Emil only belatedly understood what the other had said. His posture relaxed just a little bit as he found himself confused. 

“What do you mean Sebastian informed you?” 

There was a hum and Emil could hear the flapping of wings alongside a gurgling sound. He recognized it as Sebastian’s purring whenever he was being petted. 

“I meant what I said… Our featherly friend here has been a faithful familiar of mine for a long time now… After you had lost the support of your sister and were left by yourself I tasked him to become your guardian. And looking at you now only shows that he has done a formidable job at watching over you…” 

Emil felt a piece of his heart shatter. He stared unseeing at the cloth covering his eyes, unsure how to react to this. A part of him wanted to call this a bluff but there were too many details that had never added up to him. It had been Emil’s blindness to these fine points that had never made him look further into his friend. 

Sebastian had always been incredibly smart. He had understood Emil’s every order, had known what to do even before Emil had asked him to act. The crow had also been the one to warn him of intruders as well as the incoming victims. Emil had always brushed it off as the intelligence of an animal but how Sebastian had understood even the most complicated descriptions of villagers… 

Emil found himself smiling. 

“... He has. If it hadn’t been for Sebastian I wouldn’t be here today. He was my anchor and only friend for a long time… So…” Emil placed a hand onto his hurting heart as his blindfold showed dark spots. “Thank you, Sebastian… For being there for me through it all.”

There was a beat of silence as neither of them acted. Emil listened to the Shadowlord taking a step towards him but he didn’t react. 

“You’re not mad?” 

It wasn’t a question. Not really. While Emil could hear the surprise and hesitation in the Shadowlord’s voice, he wasn’t exactly sure as to why.

“No, I’m not.” Emil replied. He held onto the scarf wrapped around his neck. “I’m hurt. And I’m sad. But I could never be mad at Sebastian. Because even if what he did was on your command… And even if he was only with me to supervise me… I know that my emotions weren’t fake. I love Sebastian and I appreciate everything he has done for me. And nothing will change those memories and experiences.”

His words hung heavily in the air. Emil reached underneath his blindfold to wipe the tears away though stopped himself when he heard a familiar fluttering. He looked up and though unseeing, he knew that the crow was approaching him. Emil didn’t know what he should have expected. An attack, maybe? Or an item of his being stolen? But none of those thoughts came to his mind. All he did was offer his arm as a familiar weight came to rest on it. Sebastian cawed and Emil could feel a pointy beak nudging his cheek. 

It was Sebastian’s way of showing affection. 

When the Shadowlord next spoke up, Emil could hear a fondness in that voice. “I only ever sent him to watch over you, Emil. Him interacting with you… Becoming your friend… And being with you even when you lay to sleep… That was all his own doing. Sebastian stayed with you day in and out because he wanted to. Every little kindness had come from his own motivation…” 

The Shadowlord took another step forward to him. “And if he hadn’t informed me of your arrival I would not have been here.”

It took a moment for Emil to register the words. His heart began to squeeze and though there was still a remaining sadness it was quickly drowned out by the affection he had always felt for his bird. He petted Sebastian’s tiny head and pulled him closer so he could nudge his nose against a beak, returning the affection he had just been given. His friend cawed and soon took his favourite position on Emil’s shoulder. Right… Emil wasn’t alone. Even if his sister and friends weren’t with him at that moment, he still carried them in his heart. 

He could do this.

“Now I have a question.” the Shadowlord expressed as he began to walk around Emil. A shiver ran down his spine but he fought the urge to turn with the other. Exposing his vulnerable back to an enemy would have been a stupid idea if Emil wasn’t fully convinced that the Shadowlord wouldn’t hurt him. At least not without warning. 

Emil shifted his weight onto his other foot and readjusted his hold on his staff. 

“You want to know how I remembered.” he said. It wasn’t far-fetched to expect the Shadowlord to be curious about it. With the painful headache that weird magic had given him it had been clear that the other hadn’t planned for him to remember. 

The agreeing hum only confirmed his suspicions. 

“You did a good job at wiping my memories. It was a clean cut in any way. I remembered every moment that hadn’t included him…” Emil couldn’t speak Nier’s name. Not in front of him. Not yet. “... Camping with Kainé, talking to Weiss, and even my visit to the village… I couldn’t remember him at all.” 

Emil touched his chest and finally turned to look into the direction of the Shadowlord. The other came to a stop. 

“But my heart could. You can wipe my mind over and over again, scrap it clean of any mentions but you can’t get rid of what has been engraved deep into my heart. From the first day I knew that something had been taken from me. I felt incomplete and my heart didn’t stop bleeding. It was only a matter of time until I found enough puzzle pieces to put it together.”

Lifting his arm, Emil pointed with his staff at the Shadowlord. 

“A body for a body. That was your equivalent exchange. And yet you were the one who cured Halua, were you not? You also shifted my curse and gave me the ability to look at the world without having to live in fear… Why?”

His pulse jumped up the moment he felt his staff being pushed aside. The soft sound of metal clashing caught his attention and Emil immediately knew that Shadowlord held a sword in his hand. His hair on his arms began to stand up and he shifted his weight just a bit more to enter a defensive position. The air was getting heavier around them and if this continued there would only be one possible conclusion. 

“Because I felt like it.” The Shadowlord’s tone had turned cold. Almost malicious. It was such a stark contrast to the way he had been talking before that it caught Emil off guard. If Sebastian hadn’t moved his weight Emil would have missed the sound of iron cutting through air. He jumped back just in time as he felt a breeze caused by the sword near his nose. 

“It seems like you didn’t quite appreciate the gift anyway. What with you covering your good eye and all that.” 

The meaner Shadowlord became the easier it was to tell him apart from Nier. Even when they had faced the merchant and guard together Nier had never sounded this spiteful. It made it easier to separate them. 

“I’m covering my eyes in respect of Nier.” Emil forced out through gritted teeth as he continued to back off. Sebastian warned him of every incoming blow and when his back met a wall he quickly lifted his staff to catch the blade coming down for him. His legs almost gave in under the surprising strength but Emil managed to redirect the blow and jump further away. 

“I want to see him. I really do. But I don’t want my first memory of him to be you controlling his body. I will keep my eyes covered until I can see his true self.”

Emil knew that the Shadowlord was toying with him. He remembered the immense pressure that had forced him to his knees and he knew that right now nothing was weighing him down. The Shadowlord didn’t see him as an opponent and to Emil’s frustration he had to admit that even if he was nothing but a training dummy to the other, he still couldn’t keep up. 

“You should have stayed in the manor with your sister!” The Shadowlord hissed as Emil blocked another attack. His arms were starting to get heavy and he knew he wouldn’t be able to run away forever. Not with his stamina already reaching its limits. 

“And live my life without Nier? Never!” Emil yelled back. He groaned as he pushed the blade away from his body but there was no time to even consider a counter attack. He wasn’t given any breaks. “I promised him I’d bring him home! That I would follow him until the end of time and I haven’t changed my mind!” 

Emil was getting tired. His body was so much slower already and even with Sebastian’s warnings he was starting to fall behind. One especially strong blow pushed him back and Emil whimpered as his arms began to throb painfully. Still he shifted his weight and lifted the staff again, ready to get hit yet again. “There is still so much I have to tell him, so much he has to tell me! No matter how hard or how painful… I will never give up!” 

Blocking another attack, Emil cried out in pain as his foot was unable to withstand the force. He could feel his ankle turning and a moment later the staff was torn out of his grasp and thrown across the room. He could hear it land on the other side, clearly too far away for him to reach. Emil gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. 

“I’ll keep on fighting! Even if it’s pointless, I will always get up! Because Nier is my friend and I won’t leave without him!”

Emil hadn’t expected the kick to his stomach. A choked groan escaped him as he fell onto his back and he whimpered at the throbbing headache that exploded behind his eyes. His ears were ringing and no matter how much Emil willed his body to move, it was barely responsive at this point. The climb, the use of his curse and the fight against Devola had already tired him out, and now without a weapon there was nothing left for him to do. His arms felt like they could fall off at any moment and his ankle screamed at him in pain. 

Not yet!

It took everything he had but Emil pushed himself onto his elbow. He whimpered as more pain surged through his body but he soon managed to push himself into a sitting position. 

Only for the Shadowlord to kick him right back down. 

Emil felt his strength slowly leaving him. He weakly tried to push the foot away that stood on his chest but his attempts were laughable at best. 

When the cold iron touched his chin he froze up. 

“Your friend has been dead for weeks now, your visit here is fruitless. Are you truly willing to die here for someone who no longer exists?”

And through the pain, Emil began to smile. A small chuckle escaped him though it quickly turned into a groan. Unseeing, the boy reached for the sword whose looming threat of death hung over him. The blade cut into both his hands though Emil barely registered the pain. Somewhere in his mind he could hear his blood dripping down onto his chest. 

“Y… You might not have been in love before but… But I trust Nier… I know he would never hurt me…” Strengthening his grip on the blade, Emil took a deep breath. “... Because he’s… not a monster.”

The moment he exhaled, Emil brought the sword down to his exposed neck. 

Before the blade could even hope to break skin Emil felt a strong resistance against his hold. The sword was torn away from him with an unbelievable force and he soon heard it landing somewhere to his right. He closed his eyes at the realization that he was still alive and Emil placed his head back onto the floor, not believing what he had just done. His hands felt like they were on fire but he embraced the pain. 

Pain meant being alive. 

Though it hurt, Emil pushed himself into a sitting position. His whole body was suffering but Emil shut off as much as he could. He tentatively listened to the heavy breathing that didn’t come from him. Rather, it came from the Shadowlord. 

“Are you crazy?” Emil heard the other say. The panic in his voice made it sound so much more familiar and Emil began to laugh. He laughed through the pain, laughed through the tension and desperation.

“F-Found… you… Nier.” he eventually breathed out. 

Emil fell back onto the ground as the pain began to grow too much for him to handle. His eyes were squinted shut and he turned onto his side when approaching footsteps caught his attention. The light that shone through his blindfold soon disappeared and Emil realized that the Shadowlord had kneeled down next to him. He felt two hands on his body and soon a numbing feeling spread across his skin. A broken moan escaped him as the pain began to disappear. His hands no longer hurt, the ache in his chest disappeared and his sore muscles relaxed with each passing second. His body calmed down and when the healing hands lifted from his chest Emil reached out to stop one. 

“Shadowlord…” Emil whispered. His voice sounded hoarse and his throat felt dry. “It’s true, I… I want Nier back… But he gave you his body willingly… So please… Give me the chance… To find you a new body… If I can find a vessel… Will you return him… to me?” 

Emil was at the mercy of the Shadowlord. He knew that, the other knew that. There was no reason to believe that Emil could simply find a new body in a couple days and present it with no problems. It was wishful thinking. But when he asked, he did so with all his heart. 

The Shadowlord’s hand in his remained motionless for a few terrifying moments. All Emil could hear was their synchronized breathing. His eyes were closed and he wondered whether all their efforts up to this point would be useless. 

“You truly love him, don’t you?” the Shadowlord asked. Emil could do little but nod. There were no words to describe how he felt but he guessed those came the closest. 

He continued to listen to his heart until the other exhaled loudly.

“... So be it. If you can find a suitable body I will leave this one…”

What?

“However.” The Shadowlord continued. “This time, I will not watch from the sidelines. I will be with you and overlook your progress… I will join you and your friends on your search.” 

The motionless hand finally began to move but Emil barely noticed it freeing itself from his hold. His ears were still ringing with the echo of the Shadowlord’s words and it felt almost too good to be true. 

“Y-Yeah… Yeah, of course… Anything… Anything you want…” Emil stuttered out. A waterfall of emotions threatened to crash down upon him but he could still hear the following words. 

“Very well then… Emil… My soul… I expect you to take good care of this body in my absence. Until I return.” 

Emil didn’t understand. Of course he didn’t, he was still too focused on the blood rushing into his ears. Had he just been seconds away from dying, now he was actually told that he could save his friend. His head was hurting with the shift in mood but when hands cupped his cheeks every thought he had quieted down immediately. 

Something about the touch felt different. 

Thumbs ran over his cheeks but Emil dared not to speak up when the other began to loosen his blindfold. His pale eyes were squeezed shut and though he was confused as to what was happening, Emil didn’t find it in himself to object. His heart hammered loudly in his chest and when the cloth was removed from his eyes, Emil didn’t move. Those gentle hands returned to his cheeks and a moment later Emil could feel a hot breath on his lips. 

“Emil.” 

His breath hitched. Tears swelled up in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. 

It couldn’t be…

“I heard your voice calling for me.”

And when he opened his left eye he was greeted by the color of a cloudless sky surrounded by white.

“Nier…” It was all Emil could say before warm lips met his own. His tears quietly fell as he wrapped his arms around the one he had so longed for.

Chapter Text

Pulling back just enough to see, Nier couldn’t stop staring at Emil. It felt like a dream. Had he been deep asleep before, he now was wide awake and holding the one whose voice had reached him even in the depths of his subconsciousness. 

Nier took everything in. That familiar light hair, the pale skin, those rosy lips and…

“Your eye…” he found himself whispering. Emil’s eyes were mesmerizing. Throughout the time spent together he had imagined all kinds of colors. Green, blue, brown… But nothing had even come close to reality. Nier wondered if he looked at Emil like it was the first time, like he was his sun. 

“It’s really you… Isn’t it?” Emil whispered. Nier chuckled and when his own tears swelled up he pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug. 

“Thank you, Emil… For finding me.” 

And as they held one another, Nier finally allowed himself to catch up. His memory was still foggy. He remembered taking the Shadowlord’s hand, remembered agreeing to a deal and then there were… memories. They hadn’t belonged to him but it had almost felt like it. Now that he thought about it, Nier wondered if he had seen the Shadowlord’s past. 

It had been a lonely life he had seen. 

Eventually everything had just become… black. He had felt tired. Exhausted. And when he had closed his eyes, he didn’t wake up again for a long time. In a way Nier had had a restless sleep, he remembered that much. Something had been missing and he would toss and turn in their subconsciousness. It was only when he had heard a familiar voice had his eyes opened just a bit. And what he had seen had shaken him to a core. 

Emil, his beloved Emil, trying to cut his own throat. Nier had never awakened that fast and though he had only been a passenger in his own body he had pulled. Nier had pulled with all his might, had screamed at the invisible walls. And to his surprise, he hadn’t been the only one pulling. No, Nier had felt it. The resistance against Emil’s actions hadn’t just been his own, he and the Shadowlord had reacted in the same way. They, together, had pulled the blade away. 

Staring down at his hand, Nier realized that he could feel him. The Shadowlord. That presence that had become so familiar to him was still inside him. Resting. Maybe waiting. 

He almost yelled when he felt deep amusement that wasn’t his. 

Calm down, it’s just me. 

Nier leaned back in the embrace and studied Emil though it didn’t seem like his friend had heard that voice. That meant… 

Not really anywhere else I can go, right? Just ignore me, I’m not even here. 

Okay yeah, the Shadowlord was mocking him no doubt. Nier narrowed his eyes and huffed. 

“Kinda difficult to ignore you if I can feel you the whole time.” 

A metaphorical shrugging of shoulders followed. Can’t change that… Though you should probably pay attention. Emil has been trying to talk to you for a good few seconds now. 

Blue eyes widened and Nier quickly pushed his internal dialogue to the side to pay attention to his friend. Emil looked at him with a deeply rooted worry and Nier already wanted to curse himself. The boy had gone through so much to get him back, Nier couldn’t worry him even more. 

“Sorry, Emil, I… I was elsewhere. What did you say?” 

His friend still looked at him with furrowed brows but soon he was pulled into one last kiss. “I-I said that we need to hurry. Halua, Kainé and Weiss are still stuck with Devola and Popola, they distracted the twins so I could find you. I’m worried about them!”

Nodding, Nier immediately got back up. Emil was right, they had no time to waste. While Emil began to cover his right eye again Nier went to collect their weapons. The sword that the Shadowlord had used as well as the weird staff that must have belonged to Emil. He returned to his friend’s side just in time for Sebastian to caw and land on Emil’s shoulder. The bird seemingly studied him, its head cocked, but whatever the crow was searching for it seemed to find. 

“Here.” He returned the staff to Emil and took his hand. Together they hurried out the big room and ran down the hallway to whatever room the others were in. When his own hand was squeezed, Nier could feel that familiar warmth blossoming within him.

“Hey, Shadowlord?” 

That presence within him stirred. What is it? 

Nier smiled. “... Thank you.” 

There was a moment of silence as he could feel the other’s open surprise. A foreign feeling spread through their body and when the Shadowlord’s voice next echoed through his mind, Nier could hear a fondness. 

You’re welcome, Nier. 

The door they reached looked heavy, big, and impossible to move. Nier slowed down as they reached it but Emil immediately began to push and pull, trying to get it to move. 

“Sister! Kainé! Can anyone hear me?!” Emil yelled at the door but there was no response. Nier could see how desperate his friend was becoming and when Emil repeatedly hit the door with his fists, Nier stepped in. He took the other’s hands and stared at the heavy door, unsure how to proceed. 

“Shadowlord… I probably can’t ask you for anything else but—”

Place your hand on the door. 

That was all the instructions he got. Holding onto Emil with one hand, he put the other on the door. For a moment nothing happened and he almost had half a mind to ask again when he could suddenly feel something change within him. An immense power, one he had not felt before, surged up his arm. He could feel magic rushing through his fingertips and a shockwave seemed to flow through the door before it began to crumble. It fell apart right in front of them and soon all that was left was a pile of rubble. 

Nier could hear Emil gasp next to him though he could do little but stare either. 

“That looked like… Halua’s curse…” his friend whispered. Nier wasn’t sure what he meant but he didn’t have the luxury of asking. They had more pressing matters at hand. Both he and Emil quickly jumped over the remains and while Nier used the moment to take in the situation, Emil already ran towards a small body not too far away. 

The room was in shambles. Windows had been destroyed, walls were punctured with holes and everywhere he looked it was simply destruction. The first bodies he noticed were Devola and Popola. They laid together near a destroyed table. Nier could see that they were still breathing, although they seemed pretty roughened up. The next person he saw was Weiss. He was sitting on the floor, leaning against a wall with a rapier on his lap. His eyes were closed but he, too, was breathing. Kainé wasn’t too far away. She was the only person standing, although one of her arms was completely covered in blood. Nier was taken aback by the dragon-like limb but to him the arm looked broken. Finally, his attention moved to the small body that Emil was looking over. It was a girl, not older than 13, that was laying on the floor. Her hair was darker, her clothes dirty but Nier immediately saw the resemblance. This was Halua, Emil’s twin sister. 

Nier felt overwhelmed by the situation. And above all else, he felt guilty. All this had happened because of him. Too many people he cared about had gotten hurt and no one was to blame but him. He stumbled into the room as his eyes couldn’t tear away from the consequences he had caused. This was his fault. 

It’s our fault. 

He shook his head, his hands clenched into fists. “No. It’s because of me…” 

The Shadowlord remained quiet before a calmness that didn’t belong to him washed over their body. Nier realized that the other was trying to soothe him.

We can heal them. And we will. Every one of them. 

Nier had never agreed with something this much. He first hurried over to Halua. She was the youngest and Nier didn’t want her to be in pain any longer. The villager kneeled down beside Emil and even when his friend cradled her unconscious body in his arms, Nier placed his hand onto her chest. 

“It’s okay, Emil. She will be okay.” Nier wasn’t sure which one of them had said it. But he didn’t care. As long as the Shadowlord and he were in agreement he could give less of a damn about who was in control. His hand began to glow a faint yellow and soon the light covered the girl’s whole body. Bruises and wounds began to close and color returned to her cheeks. They watched as Halua took a deep breath and soon eyes that matched Emil’s fluttered open. 

“Sister!” Emil cried out. He didn’t give Halua any time before he already pulled her into a hug, crying into her shoulder. Nier could hear a weak chuckle.

“Emil, you crybaby…” the girl whispered and a small weight was lifted off his chest. Emil’s sister would be alright. 

The next few minutes were spent healing each one of their companions. Kainé and Weiss couldn’t believe his presence at first but soon they welcomed him back. While Weiss pulled him into a tight hug and lectured him for doing such a reckless thing, Kainé first punched his shoulder hard before pulling him against her side. The love of his friends warmed his body and Nier knew that the Shadowlord must have felt it as well. In the end Nier also healed Popola and Devola. Though he himself was still wary of them, the Shadowlord cared about the twins. When they woke up they stared at him with wide and confused eyes. 

“Shadowlord?” Popola whispered and Nier mentally stepped aside when that other presence broke through the surface. His body language began to change and the Shadowlord smiled kindly. His eyes had changed from a light blue to an intense gold.

“It’s okay, you two. You’ve fought hard and you went through so much. Thank you, Popola. Thank you, Devola. From here on out I will take over.”

The Shadowlord stood up to his full height and looked over to the group of friends. Halua was leaning against Kainé’s side for slight support and Weiss hesitantly placed a hand onto his rapier. He could see the tension in their movements as they clearly didn’t trust him. Surely they must have thought that Nier was alone in this body. For a moment the Shadowlord could feel Nier’s nervousness. His other was holding his breath.

It was Emil who finally stepped forward. Halua reached out for him but the Shadowlord watched as Emil gently freed himself from her hold. Soon the boy stood in front of him but there was no fear or doubt in that expression of his. The Shadowlord watched quietly as Emil not only took his hand but also squeezed it. 

“Nier and Shadowlord… Right now they are still sharing a body.” Emil explained as he turned to look back at his friends. “So I want to find a new vessel. The Shadowlord agreed to leave Nier’s body if we can find a new home for him… I don’t expect you guys to help me. I dragged you through so much already that I can’t ask for more. But I want you to know that the Shadowlord isn’t our enemy. He wants to live… Just like we all do… So I will work with him together to help both him and Nier!”

He wasn’t sure if the fondness he felt belonged to himself or Nier. Nonetheless, the Shadowlord was thankful for his little soul. A second of hesitation passed before the three friends began to relax just a little. While they might not have trusted him, they trusted both Emil and Nier. 

“You can bet your fucking ass that we’ll help you, Emil.” Kainé was the first to speak up. She rubbed the back of her head and sauntered over to them. “Ain’t gonna turn around and put my feet up if there’s still shit to deal with. And you—” She tapped his chest with a claw and the Shadowlord actually took a step back, suddenly feeling intimidated by her. “Better play nice or you will get up close and personal with this arm you gave me. And then I won’t give a shit if you’re in Nier’s body or that of a chicken. You got me?” 

Usually the Shadowlord would have brushed a threat like that off but there was something in her voice and eyes that actually made him swallow. He had never met someone who still dared to talk to him like that even after knowing what he was capable of… It was both fascinating and kinda scary. 

“Y-Yes…” was all he could force out. Kainé glared at him for one more moment before she was finally satisfied. With a huff she walked away and the Shadowlord felt the tension disappear. 

He pointedly ignored Nier’s amusement. 

Weiss and Halua approached him together. The young man’s expression was unreadable but Shadowlord waited for him to either accept or deny him. 

“Am I correct to assume that you were the one who left the information about my siblings on my table?”

Out of everything he had expected, this certainly hadn’t been on the list. The Shadowlord was dumbfounded for a moment before he nodded. “When Nier and I became one I was given access to his memories. I saw what you said about your gift and your past… I believed that contacting your former family members could be a way for you to move on.”

Weiss' guarded expression softened slightly and the man placed a hand on his chest. “The gesture has been appreciated. In return, I shall offer my help to your and young Emil’s quest. I, too, would like to see our friend be returned to us.”

The last to step in front of him was Halua. His expression softened and the Shadowlord leaned forward slightly to be more on eye level with the girl. The two of them didn’t have time to speak again since he had first gifted her and not even Nier had any information about her besides what Emil had told him. They were a blank page for one another. 

“Your curse has caused a lot of pain to my brother.” Halua said. She didn’t sound accusatory, rather she was stating facts. He simply nodded. After all, she was speaking the truth. The little girl bit her lips before continuing. “But because of this curse… Emil was able to meet Nier and his friends. And I’m okay now too… So even through all this sadness and pain… I think I can forgive you…” 

The Shadowlord blinked in surprise. Though he had not anticipated these words, somehow they hit him more than expected. Halua reached out to him and he gently took her hand. “You and I… We’re both older siblings… And I’m sorry for what happened to your sister… So I want to help you not be sad anymore. Emil and I will help you find a new body. I promise.”

Whatever he could have thought of to say disappeared in an instance. His eyes looked at the girl that reminded him so much of her and when a tear ran down his cheek, the Shadowlord watched in silence as Halua wiped it away. She sent him a fond smile before returning to Emil’s side. For a moment he simply took in the sight of the two siblings. A brother and sister who were willing to risk anything for one another. It both pained and warmed him. 

“Thank you, Halua…” the Shadowlord whispered, not knowing what else to say. He cleared his throat and looked from the group of friends over to his followers. 

“Nothing has changed, Shadowlord. We will continue to serve you for as long as we live.” Popola said with a small smile. She was holding Devola in her arms who was still recovering from the healing process. He smiled at the two of them.

“I will leave the rest to you two then. Please take them all back to the village. It’s time for everyone to return home.” 

And when he closed his eyes, the Shadowlord willingly stepped aside. There was some hesitation but the next time the eyes were opened, they were once again the color of the sky.

Nier released a small sigh and smiled at his friends. “Let’s get the hell out of here.” 

No one objected.

Chapter Text

The village hadn’t changed much in his absence. Nier guessed it made sense and yet he walked through the grassy fields taking everything in. A few weeks ago, when he had been in an empty room selling himself away he never would have guessed that he would get to see this again. The grass looked just a bit greener, the sun felt more intense on his skin. 

Nier was happy to be alive. 

And it looked like Emil was happy as well. The smaller boy was swinging their hands to and fro, content with himself. Whatever the other might have been thinking was a mystery to Nier but when he came to a stop, so did his friend. Nier leaned the small distance down and kissed Emil’s forehead, leaving him confused.

“What was that for?” Emil asked though his smile only brightened. 

“Just cause. I gotta start making up for my absence.”

Emil blinked at him before pulling him down for yet another kiss. “You do! You missed so much! Kainé and Weiss started getting along and Kainé trained Halua and I still need to sit down and properly introduce you two when we have time! I told her lots of stories about you once I started remembering and she wants to give you the sibling talk and stuff!” 

Nier’s smile mirrored Emil’s and he looked back to their group of friends who were a few steps behind. It seemed like Kainé had wanted to head for the market area to buy some groceries and Halua had agreed to accompany her. While it was quite clear that both of them were strong individuals, Nier could only hope that Emil’s sister wouldn’t take too much inspiration from Kainé. He doubted any of them would be capable of handling that kind of dynamic duo. 

Speaking of sisters though…

Nier’s gaze wandered towards his home that wasn’t too far away. His heart jumped at the idea of seeing Yonah again. Sure, the Shadowlord had assured him that everyone would remember him again but Nier still couldn’t brush off the remaining fear. What if she didn’t have her memories back? What if she was still sick? What if she hated him for disappearing for so long? 

Only one way to find out. The Shadowlord mused from within him. Nier huffed softly. Sure, it was easy for his passenger to say that but a lot harder to just go through with it. 

It seemed like Emil could sense his inner turmoil. A cold hand came to rest on his neck and Nier looked away from his home to focus on his friend. 

“It will be fine. You’ll see.” 

Wanting to believe Emil, he took a deep breath to calm his nerves. Together they walked up the smaller hills to reach the house. The chickens he had cared for were still hanging around in their front yard and the planted vegetables were growing just fine. Someone must have been taking care of them in his absence. 

Nier found himself in front of his front door too soon. He lifted his hand, though hesitated to knock. What was he going to say? What even was there for him to say? 

Luckily for him, Yonah seemed to take the decision from him the moment the door was slammed open. All Nier saw was a blur of white and a moment later he found himself on his back, groaning from the impact as something clung to him. He blinked the white spots away from his vision and once the ringing sound had died down he heard the quiet sobs he was so familiar with. Blue eyes softened and Nier placed a hand on Yonah’s head. 

“I’m home.” 

It was all he had to say. His little sister lifted her head and though her face was red from tears, there was also a relieved smile. Yonah looked at him, truly looked and then she buried her face back into his shoulder, crying some more. Nier wrapped his arms around her.

Sometimes it was okay not to say much. He ran his hands through her white hair and smiled to himself. 

Everything would be okay. 

After a long talk with Yonah, Nier finally carried her exhausted body to bed. He had been relieved to see her this lively and it had become apparent from Weiss’ stories that the black disease had truly disappeared. Seeing Yonah jump and run around without a care had been one of the greatest gifts he had been given and when she was in his arms this time, it was because of exhaustion and not sickness. He covered her small body with the blanket and was about to leave when a quiet voice spoke up. 

“Brother?” 

Nier looked over to his sister and hummed softly. Though tired, Yonah still smiled at him. 

“Love you.”

He returned the smile and nodded, his heart filled with pride. “Love you too. Good night, Yonah.”

The front door was quietly shut behind him and when Nier walked out of his front garden he could see Emil sitting by the fountain. The smaller boy was kicking his legs lazily, simply watching as Kainé and Weiss were seemingly in an argument. Halua wasn’t too far away, her attention fully on Sebastian who she was playing with. It was a peaceful sight and Nier went to join his partner near the water. 

“It’s nice.” Emil said when he was close enough. His friend pulled his legs to his chest and with amusement Nier noticed that with the new cloak Emil was wearing it looked like his whole body had just been swallowed up. Taking a seat next to the other, Nier leaned back on his arms. He allowed the sun to warm his face as he threw his head back. 

Silent moments passed until Emil spoke up again. 

“Hey, Nier?” he sounded insecure, almost hesitant. The shift in tone made Nier look at his friend and he could see Emil reaching for his scarf. 

“What is it?” Nier replied in a quiet voice. His friend looked conflicted for a moment before a sigh seemingly indicated the decision made.

“Can I… Can I talk to… him?”

Nier stared in surprise. The presence inside him, that had been dormant for the better half of his time spent with Yonah, stirred in interest. He placed a hand on his chest and furrowed his brows. 

“I… I guess? Give me a moment.” 

Nier focused on that spot deep within him where he could feel the Shadowlord. When he reached out for his other he was surprised to find a nervous mess of hesitation. After several long seconds his offer was finally taken and the two of them switched places. 

Taking a deep breath, the Shadowlord kept his eyes shut for just a moment longer. He wasn’t sure what to do. When he had made that deal with Emil he had expected to be in the background throughout it all, ignored by all of them… But having someone, Emil out of all people, asking directly for him was something he didn’t know how to deal with. He slowly exhaled and opened his eyes. 

Though Emil hid it well, the Shadowlord could still see the slight flinch. 

“So your eyes… They are really golden?” 

He was a bit taken aback by the question but nodded anyway. “They used to be blue but the more magic I absorbed the more they changed…” The Shadowlord attempted to smile and shrugged his shoulders. “Makes it easier to differentiate us, I guess?”

Emil merely hummed as he continued to play with his scarf. It was a habit, as Shadowlord had learned, that masked his nervousness. 

He kinda wished he had a scarf himself for these kinds of moments. 

“Listen, Emil.” The Shadowlord continued. “I appreciate that you stood up for me in front of your friends but don’t force yourself to spe—”

“Why did you cure Halua? And why did you allow me to see?” Emil suddenly said. He looked determined when he finally looked back up at him but the Shadowlord knew that underneath that confidence, Emil was probably acting.

This time it was the Shadowlord’s turn to look away. He licked his lips, searching for the right words. “Knowing that she had been petrified all those years ago had saddened me as much as anyone else. I had chosen her to be my heart, to be a healer who could mend broken things. I didn’t want her to suffer under such a fate… But without a body I couldn’t leave the shrine. I had always wanted to return her to her original body and when Nier agreed to our deal I finally got the chance to make things right.” 

His gaze returned to Emil and he cocked his head, his expression kind. “And your eye… I guess you have to thank Nier for that. When we merged I saw his memories and felt what he had felt. And I understood how much you truly meant to him. He had come to me with the wish to cure you and just because he chose Yonah in the end it didn’t mean that his original wish had disappeared…” The Shadowlord smiled to himself and reached into the fountain. The cold water made for a nice contrast to the ever shining sun. 

“I wanted to do something for you and Weiss. I had seen in Nier’s memories just how much you have suffered under the power I have given you and though I still wished for you to be my knight, I wanted you to be happy. These… gifts, or curses as you call them, they aren’t meant to ruin your lives. They are supposed to help you make the world a better place… I guess I only now realize how much I have caused you pain instead. And for that I want to apologize. To you and the others.”

He could feel Emil’s attention on him but the Shadowlord refused to look away from the water.

“It’s okay… I forgive you.” Emil finally said. “I mean, the past years were terrible. I was lonely, and sad, and weak, and sometimes it hurt a lot. But I don’t hate you for it. It had been my decision to accept your deal and maybe if I hadn’t panicked upon waking up everything would have turned out differently…” Emil stretched his legs and looked over towards him. 

“But if it’s okay with you I don’t want to petrify people anymore. Not if I can help it. I understand that you want to protect others by separating good from bad but… I don’t think it’s that easy. I want to believe that everyone deserves a second chance, and that we shouldn’t decide over who gets to live and who doesn’t. Self justice only ever leads to pain and revenge and grudges. I’d rather we… I don’t know… Give them a good scare! Or have Kainé threaten them! Or we put together a council who gets to decide! But one person alone shouldn’t have that kind of power!”

The Shadowlord wasn’t sure what to say. His own fondness mixed with Nier’s unconditional love and in the end he knew that Emil had given him a lot to think about. He reached for light hair and ruffled it. “... Okay. I think you have a point but it will take me a bit of time to think it all through. But neither you nor the others have to use your powers against your will. I’m not sure how well your suggestions would work out but I will consider them.” 

His small smile weakened lightly when another question came to his mind. He pulled his hand away and stared at it. 

“I also… would like to apologize for testing you, Emil. Back in the Lost Shrine, when I attacked you. I wanted to see how far you would go for your friend and if you would back off if the danger became too big. I have seen many people in my life who played the role of the hero but once things got truly serious they abandoned their loved ones for their own lives. It’s easy to say that you care about someone but putting such meaningful words into actions is something not many can do…” He looked up from his hand. “Why did you grab the blade, Emil?”

His knight remained silent but the Shadowlord could see how Emil’s hand moved from his scarf to his neck. Emil smiled though his eyes looked sad. He rubbed his skin. 

“I… I don’t really know…” the boy admitted. “I just… I was so certain that Nier was still alive. And I knew that you weren’t the villain you painted yourself to be. You just couldn’t be. You spoke so highly of us back when we met and I thought that there was no way you would seriously hurt me after having called me your soul. I…” Emil shrugged his shoulders. “I wanted to believe that you wouldn’t kill me. And I believed that Nier would never let you hurt me. Nier is stubborn and enduring and really strong. There was no way he would have just disappeared, leaving us all behind.” 

The Shadowlord could feel Nier stirring within their body. It seemed like Emil’s words were affecting both of them.

“I-I guess that in a way… I was testing you too. I dared you to finish what you had started but I was almost fully certain that either of you wouldn’t hurt me…” When Emil looked at him, it was with a bright smile. “And I was right! I was right about Nier being alive and you being nice! I trusted you both and I’m still here!”

He couldn’t do much besides staring at this peculiar boy. Whether he should call Emil smart, reckless, brave or stupid wasn’t clear yet but the Shadowlord could think of one word that described the other perfectly. Loyal. 

“Okay, one more question!” Emil exclaimed. The excitement didn’t leave his eyes and the Shadowlord leaned back when the boy leaned closer. 

“What should we call you? Shadowlord is a mouthful and we can’t call you that when we’re surrounded by others! They would all look weirdly at us!”

He does have a point. His other chimed in.

It was the first time in this whole conversation that Nier had spoken up. And of course it was to insult the name that had been given to him. 

The Shadowlord pointedly ignored him. “... I’m not sure, to be honest. It’s been so long that I have forgotten my name. The twin’s family has only ever referred to me with that title so… I guess if you can think of a name then I’m all ears.”

Leaning back, Emil seemed to be in deep thought. He pushed his bottom lip forward and hummed all while his expression was a serious one. Minutes passed in which neither of them said anything and just when the Shadowlord had wanted to switch places again, Emil snapped his fingers. 

“Shade! For now I will nickname you Shade!”

Once again the Shadowlord smoothly ignored Nier when brilliant laughter echoed through their shared mind. It was ridiculous and both of them knew that. The Shadowlord was the strongest magic user alive, he could probably burn the surface of the earth if he so wished to. To be nicknamed something as adorable as Shade was probably the most offensive act anyone could do to him. 

He loved it. 

Smiling to himself, the Shadowlord leaned back on his arms. 

“You know what? Why not. Shade it is.”

And when Emil jumped up from his seat to cheer, Shade wondered if he was finally allowed to find peace in humanity.

Chapter Text

Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Emil grinned from ear to ear as he patted the soil. He had just finished planting the last moonflower seed and though his face and clothes were dirty beyond saving, his bright smile made up for the exhaustion he felt. He leaned back on his knees and looked at the organized row he had created. All that was left was watering them sufficiently and then he would simply have to hope for the best. 

“Here you go.” a voice behind him said and soon a cup filled with water was offered to him. Emil looked over his shoulder and grinned up at Nier. 

“Thanks!” He took a big gulp and wiped his mouth before handing it back. After some balance issues Emil managed to get back up onto his feet and lift the heavy watering can. He walked down each seed and made sure to give all of them the attention they deserved before finishing up. 

“Is that all?” Nier called over from the field’s sides. Emil checked one more time that he had distributed the fertilizer enough and once satisfied, he nodded and returned to his friend. The gloves were taken off and after Emil had put them near his shovel, he noticed Nier leaning in. He dodged the kiss and placed his hands on the villager, creating some space between them. 

“Don’t! I’m all sweaty and dirty and smelly and you don’t want to kiss me like that.” To prove his point, Emil pulled his nose up in a disgusted expression. He needed a nice and long bath, and a new set of clothes. Nier, on his part, simply grinned and wrapped his arms around Emil’s waist, pulling him closer even when several complaints were being shouted. 

“I’ll take the risk.” His partner said and Emil squealed when a big kiss was forced onto his cheek. A giggle escaped him when he saw Nier’s grossed out expression and a moment later his friend began to wipe dirt from his lips. Emil simply laughed and pushed his friend away. 

“You’re silly, you know that?”

Nier raised his brow though the smile gave his amusement away. “Big words for someone who speaks with his flowers.”

Now it was Emil’s time to be offended. He drilled his finger into the other’s chest and narrowed his eyes. “I’ll have you know that I read about that in books! Plants are said to grow better if you talk to them or play music! And seeing as how I can’t drag my piano out here I have to go with the other option!”

Crossing his arms, Emil began to stomp his way back towards the manor. Beautiful laughter chimed from behind him and the boy smiled to himself as a loving warmth filled his heart. Since he had gotten Nier back his life had been near perfect. He had his sister, Kainé, Weiss, and the best partner in the world. 

And on top of that an unexpected but pleasant addition. 

When Nier finally caught up to him, he wrapped his arm around Emil’s shoulders and pulled him against his side. Though Emil still acted difficult, he melted into the nice touch. They shared a small and private smile even when the manor showed up in the distance. 

“So what’s your plan for today?” Nier asked conversationally as they made it through the front door. Emil stretched his arms and sighed when his joints cracked in all the right places. Based on the silence of the mansion he could guess where most of his friends were. Halua and Kainé probably hadn’t finished their training session in the garden yet while Weiss must have been in one of the study rooms, looking through the books that had only been used to collect dust over the many years. 

“I want to go back to the library and see if I can find anything that can help Shade. I know the last couple days were a failure but…” He shrugged his shoulders with a grin. “Maybe today's try will be it!”

Nier’s gaze softened and Emil soon felt a hand in his hair. “No matter what, you just don’t lose your optimism. It’s one of the things I adore about you.” His heart skipped a beat at the open affection and Emil reached for the hand so he could place a kiss onto its knuckles. He shyly smiled up at Nier and cocked his head, simply enjoying being able to truly look at him. 

“I should clean up. Can you check in with Kainé and Halua? I want to make sure they drink enough water in between their training, those two always get too lost in their little lessons.” 

Nier nodded and both hesitantly let go of their joined hands. “Meet you in front of your door?” his friend asked and Emil agreed. He watched as his partner sauntered into the direction of the kitchen and when Nier disappeared behind a corner, Emil smiled to himself. When he made his way to his private bedroom he did so with a jump to his steps. 

It was a great day.

Since he had gained his partial eyesight back Emil hadn’t relied as heavily on Sebastian anymore. His featherly friend still roamed the halls of his manor but now the crow changed who he wanted to hang out with. Every so often Sebastian would still be by his side but now with Halua and Shade around, the bird also liked to spend time with them. Emil didn’t mind. He was glad the crow was receiving so much affection from different sides and a small part of him was also glad that he could rely more on himself. Ever since this whole little story of their group of friends had begun, Emil had felt like he had been a burden to the others. But nowadays he didn’t feel like that anymore. He had grown more confident and sure of himself. And on top of that, though still clumsy, he had learned how to wield a weapon and defend himself. With enough time he could learn to control his gift more and more, and with Nier back by his side his heart had found its peace. 

In the end, Emil believed that it had all been worth it. 

It didn’t take long for him to get cleaned up. Whereas Emil usually enjoyed taking long baths, this time he went through the procedure in record time. Dirty clothes were abandoned in a basket that he would have to eventually wash and though his hair was still wet, Emil immediately began to dress himself again. He wore one of his favourite purple pants but added to it a simple white shirt. There was no reason for him to get all dressed up if he wasn’t leaving the manor again for that day. Humming a melody, Emil rubbed his hair dry as best as he could. Finally a new bandage was wrapped around his right eye and once satisfied with the reflection in the mirror, Emil walked back out to meet Nier.

To his surprise, Emil found his friend standing in front of one of the many abandoned bedrooms. 

It wasn’t one that Emil entered often. Sure, while it was just down the hallway from his own room, Emil had mostly used it as a storage for blankets and pillows. So when he walked past its open door the unusual sight immediately caught his attention. The room inside was mostly dark as the curtains prevented most of the sunlight from breaking in. Emil peeked past the doorframe and watched as Nier stood motionless. The villager seemed to be holding something in his hand. 

A wooden horse, Emil realized. 

A child’s toy, to be exact. Emil had never seen it before in this room but a nearby open drawer gave away its prior location. He wasn’t quite sure how to react. Nier was acting odd and that could usually only mean one thing. The smaller boy politely cleared his throat and the other’s head moved to the side, acknowledging him though not turning around.

“Are you okay… Shade?” Emil hesitantly asked. He entered the room and came to a stop behind his new friend. In the past few days Shade had mostly remained dormant, or so Nier had said. The manor hadn’t done him well and Nier had told him that whenever Shade wasn’t resting within their soul he was feeling a constant melancholy. All this time, Emil hadn’t quite understood but now that he saw their friend in this room it kinda began to paint a picture. 

And as Emil stared at the back of Shade, he suddenly imagined the other with braided hair and a tired expression. 

It clicked. 

“You… You were a master of this manor… right?” It wasn’t a question. Not really. Now that he had spoken it into existence, Emil felt like it made sense. Shade had come from a wealthy family and the master in the painting had a younger girl by his side. With the twins living in the village it also wasn’t too far-fetched to say that they had lived close to their master. 

Emil reached out and took a gentle hold of the other’s arm. It was then that he was finally paid attention to and just as expected, when his partner’s face looked at him he was greeted by golden eyes. The sadness and pain in them was almost enough to make him tear up. 

“This used to be her room.” Shade whispered as his gaze dropped to the little toy. Emil watched as the other’s fingertips ghosted over the item as if it was the most precious thing. “I used to bring her lots of little gifts from the places I visited. Nearby towns like Seafront or Facade… But also far away places… I wanted to share my experiences with her, even when she was bedridden.” 

Emil’s hand tightened on the other’s arm. He knew that this was a pain that Shade shared with Nier. And in a way he, too, could understand it. When Halua had been petrified he had visited her countless times to tell her about whatever had happened that day. In a way, Emil had always hoped that she could secretly hear him. It had felt unfair that he had been able to move around while she had been cursed to remain in the same spot forever. Emil had blamed himself throughout all these years and he knew that Shade and Nier had felt the same. 

“You wanted to find a cure for her.” he whispered softly. “No one would judge you for travelling. You did it for her.” 

When Shade huffed, Emil caught yet another glance of the hidden pain. “Did I though? Maybe I just ran away. Maybe I couldn’t stand seeing her get worse. I knew that she wanted me to be around and I will never forgive myself for not having been there in her last hours… I was so focused on finding a cure that I oversaw what she truly wanted… Her brother. I failed her. And it’s something that I can nev—”

Emil interrupted Shade when he reached for the man’s face. His eyes were serious but kind and he made sure that he had the other’s attention before speaking up. “She loved you. Unconditionally. And nothing you could have done could have made her hate you.” Emil focused on golden eyes, not allowing his friend to look away. “And I’m saying this as a younger brother. We adore our older siblings and if Halua could forgive me for petrifying her… If Yonah could forgive Nier for disappearing for weeks… Don’t you think that your sister forgave you for caring so much about her that you wanted to help her? You didn’t run away, Shade. And no matter what you’re telling yourself, you weren’t a bad brother either. Your love for her fueled you to push on and on…” Emil’s voice quieted down and he cocked his head, a small smile on his lips. “You must have been through a lot… But as a dear person once said to me, we can’t look back. Your sister wouldn’t want you to feel like this, and you should use the love she has felt for you to continue living. Allow yourself to find happiness.”

Letting go, Emil placed his hands behind his back. “You did enough. For so many years now you have lived in loneliness as some form of punishment but it’s okay. As a younger sibling I’m telling you that you did enough. From now on, live for yourself.”

Shade looked at him with surprise though it soon morphed into something softer. “You know, Emil…” he started, looking down at the little toy before placing it back onto a shelf. “You guys are vastly different from the knights I had always chosen before. But I’m glad I chose personalities that would clash with my own ideals this time. For someone that young you do say some wise things. Nier is lucky to have you.”

His friend’s smile turned into something more amusing and there was a small spark in golden eyes. “Maybe though you’re just my favourite because you know how to play my songs. What I’ve seen in Nier’s memories was promising, even if you still have to work on Salvation some more.” 

Emil’s eyes widened and he stared at Shade with a dumbfounded expression. A moment later he grabbed his friend’s arm and tugged at it urgently. “W-Wait! You are the composer of these songs? They’re amazing!” 

Shade’s smile widened and he patted his own shoulder in mockery. “What can I say? I was a gifted child.” The other chuckled and grinned, even when Emil already began to drag him out of the room. “Salvation was devoted to my sister. Sacrifice was more about me, I guess.” 

But Emil was barely listening. He was full of excitement and once Shade had caught up on the direction he had been dragging him, his friend began to follow along. They practically ran the short distance to the study room and when Emil turned on his heel, it was with pure admiration. “Will you play with me? I’ve never had a piano buddy! Pretty please!”

Shade’s laughter echoed in the mostly empty room but Emil could see that he had already won the other over. He hurried over to a shelf and grabbed the notebook with the unorganized music sheets. Shade had already sat down at the piano as he returned with several pieces of paper. 

Emil ignored the amused snort from his side as he searched for his favourite song. Soon the several sheets that dictated Sacrifice were placed in front of them and Emil cracked his knuckles. Since he had remembered Nier he hadn’t gotten around to playing again so he was more excited than ever before. 

“How about you show me what you can do? I’d love to hear your interpretation of the song, from what Nier remembered it was quite good.”

His hands froze in place and he looked at his friend in surprise. He opened his mouth to say something but the sudden shyness he felt prevented him from responding. Instinctively his hands reached for his scarf but when a hand came to rest on top of his, Emil was greeted by familiar blue. 

“Don’t be nervous, Emil.” Nier whispered and those simple words were already enough for him to relax. He watched as Nier placed a kiss onto his hand, mirroring his own actions from earlier, before guiding it to the keys. “Play for me, okay? Like you did back then. It’s just the two of us.”

And Emil believed him. Whatever tension he had felt from playing for the actual composer melted away and he found himself nodding. With a deep breath the boy calmed his heart and quietly counted to four. 

When the first notes sounded through the room it felt like coming home. His eyes closed and though Emil was aware of Nier’s warmth next to him, he soon drowned everything out. It was only him and his piano, and together they played a melody that had grown so dear to him. For a long time Emil didn’t register anything around him but when a soft voice joined in on his melody, he did open his eyes. Somewhere in the back of his mind he recognized the sung words as the ones from the sheet though their meaning still evaded him. With the fondness and love Shade sang them, however, Emil didn’t need a translation. Sometimes it was enough to hear the emotions in a voice. It was the beauty of music, after all. Eventually he came to a stop and when he looked over to his friend, he was greeted by a smile. 

“Nier’s memories did your playing no justice. It’s formidable.” 

Emil blinked at the compliment. He pulled his head down into his scarf and hid his rosy cheeks. Shade’s laughter didn’t do anything to calm his returned shyness and Emil found himself looking away. 

“Now it’s your turn!” he said, both in order to distract and out of curiosity. “Will you play Salvation? Pretty please! I want to hear how you envisioned it!” Emil even got up from the small bench in order to give Shade enough space to play. His friend merely huffed but when he shook his hands, Emil’s excitement grew.

“Now, remember I haven’t played in literal decades and Nier’s fingers aren’t used to this but I will try my best.”

For a second Shade looked to the side and Emil knew by now that this kind of behavior meant that they were talking to each other. Whatever Nier must have said caused Shade to frown but with a sigh he shook his head. Emil held his breath as he watched hands being placed down and he never looked away when Shade began to play. 

It was mesmerizing, to say the least. Emil had never heard anyone else play the piano and being able to watch a professional go at it was a magical moment. Though Shade had told him not to expect too much, Emil couldn’t say he was disappointed. The notes that were being produced sounded incredible to his ears and it was sheer amazing to watch the other’s fingers fly over the keys. 

What captivated Emil the most though was the fluent and smooth transition Shade did in between. In one moment he was playing the calm and sensual Salvation and in the next second the melody evolved into something more hopeful. The former melancholy and sadness morphed into something… determined. It was like a new version of the song was being born right in front of him. 

And it seemed like the song hadn’t just caught his attention.

When Emil looked up from the magic in front of him, he noticed that somebody else was in the room. There, in the doorframe, leaned Kainé. Her expression spoke both of surprise and something else as she watched Shade play. For a split second Emil recognized a familiar emotion in her eyes but it was quickly gone when she noticed his gaze. Though Kainé was now masking it well, it had been too late. Emil had seen it. 

He had seen the softness. 

A small idea began to grow inside his head and Emil looked from his friend over to Shade and back. It seemed like his sudden change in body language had alerted the pianist as the music suddenly stopped. 

“K-Kainé?” Shade stuttered out in surprise. It appeared that neither of them had expected her presence but now Emil was almost sure of his suspicions. With a wide grin he hurried over to Kainé and grabbed her arm. 

“Isn’t he amazing, Kainé? Shade is the one who wrote the song! He composed it and now he can play it for us all the time!” 

The woman resisted just a moment when Emil dragged her closer to the piano. She seemed unsure of how to react and eventually nodded. 

“It… It sounds alright.” she finally admitted. 

And this time, when Emil looked over to Shade, it was his friend who was looking away in embarrassment. Though they both piloted the body in vastly different ways, Emil had come to know Nier well enough to understand how his body reacted to nervousness and shyness. And what he was witnessing right in that moment was a textbook example of a flustered Nier. 

“Thank you…” Shade mumbled under his breath as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

Emil let go of Kainé’s arm in favor of shaking his other friend. “You should play some more for her! I never managed to do the song justice but it’s her favourite! Will you do that, Shade! Come on, it will be fun!” 

It was Kainé who spoke up first. “Emil, you can’t just push someone into doi—”

“Sure.” 

Both he and the woman went quiet when Shade interrupted her. He was looking down at his shirt, seemingly super interested in its material but he shrugged his shoulders. “I… don’t mind. I would like to play some more and if you’d like to listen… I wouldn’t mind.” 

Emil watched the tension between the two of them, wondering if he and Nier had been just as awkward. Then again those two hadn’t had the chance to truly interact alone yet so he decided to give them a break. 

They would figure it out eventually. 

Kainé crossed her arms and sighed before she leaned against a nearby wall. “I guess I can spare a few minutes. Halua is cleaning up anyway so I don’t have anything better to do.” 

With his arms behind his back Emil sauntered out of the room and after a few moments the music picked back up. He was smiling to himself as he danced the hallway down to the manor’s library. 

All they needed to do now was to find a new body for Shade. And then the rest of their lives could begin.

Chapter Text

The library was quiet, a stark contrast to the lively scenery he had just left behind. Emil loved this place. He had spent whole days here, simply reading about whatever had caught his interest that time. While most of the manor had been abandoned, the library had always been one of the rooms he had taken great care of. With a small smile he quietly closed the door behind himself so as to not disturb the only other person currently present.

Weiss was sitting at a table in the far corner of the library. Half a dozen books were spread out in front of him, all of them opened to random pages. He seemed to be rather focused though when Emil entered, the young man did find the time to send him a nod in greetings. 

“Good morning, Weiss.” Emil said as he walked over to the table. He turned some of the books to read their titles and most of them were either historical or mythological inspired. Weiss and he had taken it upon themselves to search through both the manor’s library as well as the one in the village. While Weiss was nowadays spending most time in his working place, he still found time to help Emil in the mansion. How the man managed to coordinate all that and still look after his own health was beyond Emil.

“Morning, Emil. You appear to be quite content. Did something good happen?” 

Emil sauntered over to a wall and traced book covers with his fingers. He finally settled on one about biology before sitting down at another table. “Maybe? I don’t know, it’s just…” The boy leaned back in his chair and smiled as he stared up at the ceiling. He had never realized how gorgeous this whole place was. 

“For five years I lived here all by myself. It was always quiet and I felt so incredibly lonely… But now… Now these walls are filled with life and laughter and there is so much going on. I keep on stumbling over things someone else has forgotten in a room, or I will clean up the kitchen after someone prepared dinner… Every day something exciting happens…” He stretched his arms and opened the book’s table of contents. “It’s just nice. To have a family after all these years.” Emil finished. When he looked up from his book he could see Weiss’ soft smile. 

“I must admit that when I first spoke to the young lad I would have never imagined to end up supervising so many young souls. I agree with you, the lonesome days have become louder and though I have never been one for much ruckus, I cannot deny a certain fondness I seem to have developed… I am glad to be a small part of this group. It is indeed a new family found.”

Emil felt his heart squeeze at these kind words. “Weiss…” he whispered but there was no need to say anything else. They felt the same way about their friends, and to be called someone else’s family had been one of the greatest gifts given to him. Emil smiled to himself and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence while reading through yet another pile of books. 

After two hours of reading Emil found himself losing focus. He had been staring at the same page for minutes now but not once had he managed to actually understand the written context. With a defeated groan he placed his head on the table and sighed deeply, almost tipping over the stacked books he had already skimmed through. 

A chuckle from across the room reached his ears but Emil didn’t look up. He was too busy pouting to do so. 

“Maybe it is time for a small break.” Weiss declared and Emil could hear a book being closed. 

Funnily enough, the door opened shortly after. Several hushed voices filled the room and upon looking up Emil saw the rest of their group entering the library. Out of the bunch, it was Halua who hurried over to him. She took his hand and forced him to stand up, ignoring any and all questions he threw at her. Emil was dragged back over to the door and once he arrived, Halua handed him over to Nier.

“What’s the meaning of this?” the boy asked, feeling slightly unnerved by the sudden change in pace. It really didn’t help that Weiss came up behind him, seemingly in on whatever the others had planned. Though when Nier wrapped his arms around his waist, Emil automatically held onto him.

“Everyone has been working so hard lately that I thought that we could all deserve a small breather.” his partner explained. Emil looked from Nier to his sister and back, his brows furrowed. 

“I-I don’t understand.”

Nier leaned closer until their noses touched. “I discussed it with the others and they helped me prepare today… Emil, I’d like to take you to Seafront.”

Realization dawned on him and the boy opened his mouth though nothing came out. Nier grinned, his eyes full of affection. 

“Let me show you the ocean.”

Emil’s reaction was immediate. His arms wrapped around Nier’s neck, pulling him closer until their lips met. Absently he could hear the reactions of their family. Chuckles, huffs, and a comment or two. But all Emil could focus on was the boy in his arms. It was embarrassing to admit that throughout everything that had happened Emil had forgotten about their little promise. But not Nier. Nier had remembered a single conversation with him in which he had expressed a hidden desire and now here they were, weeks later. 

“Everything is ready. Weiss was so kind to bring us melons from the village, Halua prepared tons of snacks and Kainé packed the baskets for us. We can leave the moment you’re ready.”

Emil was at a loss for words. When tears swelled up in his eyes he quickly wiped them away. He didn’t want to cry about something this kind. He looked at his friends, his sister, his partner. And when he whispered the next words, he truly meant them from the bottom of his heart. 

“I love you guys so much.”

After thanking each of them individually, Emil and his family began to get ready. He simply threw his cloak on and once everyone had been given something to carry, the group headed out. 

The usually quiet forest had begun to fill with brave animals and their lively conversations were accompanied by the familiar cawing of a certain crow. Nier and Emil were walking in the back as the rest of their friends walked ahead. Holding a blanket in one arm, Emil had his other hand intertwined with his partner’s. Kainé was carrying the heaviest basket even when Halua had offered to help her. The boy smiled to himself when Nier bumped their shoulders together.

“What are you thinking about?” the other asked and Emil looked away from their family to meet beautiful blue. He would never grow tired of the sight. 

“Nothing, really.” Emil replied with a grin. “I’m just enjoying the moment. It’s nice to see everyone get along and be so excited about this. I’ve always wanted to see the ocean but now I can do it with my favourite people!” His excited voice turned softer and Emil leaned closer so he could kiss Nier’s shoulder. “And it’s all thanks to you. I really don’t deserve you, Nier.”

But his friend merely snorted. “Emil, please. You literally brought me back from my non-existence, and you were ready to fight the all powerful Shadowlord for me. Planning a trip to the beach is nothing to speak of.”

Now that Nier had mentioned it, another worry wouldn’t leave him. “Is Shade okay with this? I don’t want him to think that I have forgotten about my promise! I really do want to find him a body!” 

Nier, of course, had also an answer to this particular concern of his. “Calm down, Emil. It’s okay. I made sure that he was alright with us taking a break and he himself said he didn’t want any of us to be burned out. He knows how determined you are, one extra day won’t hurt our search.”

Narrowing his eyes at his friend, Emil pursed his lips. He was trying to figure out whether Nier was simply saying this to calm him or if he had actually talked to Shade. However, when the eyes flickered golden for just a second before returning to blue, Emil decided that it really was okay to be excited. 

“Fine, I believe you. One day of fun and then it’s back to reading books!”

Once his decision had been made, Emil immediately jumped back into being delighted. He swung their joined hands to and fro, bombarding Nier with any questions he could think of. Would Nier show him how to fish? Would they get to see dolphins? Was it true that the setting sun looked gorgeous on the water? Would a sea monster try to attack them? Were there any specific rules he needed to follow at a beach? The more questions he asked the more amused Nier got but his partner dutifully answered every little curiosity Emil threw at him. 

And as they continued to talk, Emil didn’t even notice the time and distance flying by. One moment they had been in the forest, the next they had crossed a grassy field called the southern plains and all of a sudden they stood in the entrance to a town he had never seen before. The buildings were all white and after a few seconds inside Emil already grew shy with the amount of houses surrounding them. The village had been one thing but this was the biggest town he had ever been in. Many alleyways and paths led into a maze of buildings and Emil found himself holding onto Nier’s hand a bit more. Nervously he made sure that his blindfold was still in place before hiding most of his face in his scarf. His bubbly voice made room for a shy silence and Emil allowed Nier to take the lead as he guided their little group through the busy streets. No one was paying attention to them and yet Emil put great care into not standing in anyone’s way. 

His interest perked up when they walked through an open cave. The moment the denseness of the houses opened up to rocky walls Emil found himself relaxing though nothing he had read in books could have prepared him for the sight that awaited him at the end of the stoney path. For a moment the bright sun blinded him but once he had grown used to the light, his eyes widened. 

In front of him was a wide space of white sand. He could feel it underneath his shoes, could feel how it gave in to his weight. But what had truly caught Emil’s attention was the vast endlessness of the blue sea. The sound of waves hitting the bay was like music to his ears and when tears formed in his eyes he allowed them to fall. 

It was the ocean. He was finally seeing the ocean!

Nier began to move forward, pulling him along but Emil was quicker. He let go of the warm hand and ran as fast as he could towards the water. Though clumsily, he barely waited to take his shoes off. They landed somewhere in the sand behind him but the boy paid them no mind. Now barefoot, he could truly feel the sand between his toes and the heat warming him. He reached the shore and squealed in delight when the remains of a wave hit his legs. A giggle next to him caused him to look up and when Emil saw his sister’s grin he knew that he must have had a similar look on his face. He took Halua’s hands in his own and for a few seconds they simply spun in the wet sand, allowing the scenery to truly sink in. 

It was like he had imagined it and yet so much more. 

Slowing down, the twins stared out to the ocean together. They were slightly out of breath but neither of them noticed. Emil wasn’t sure if they had been standing there for seconds or minutes, but eventually sounds behind them drew his attention away from the water. The boy reluctantly looked away only to watch his friends prepare their little resting place. Kainé put the heavy basket down while Weiss was spreading out the blanket that Emil had apparently dropped. Nier was looking through his own bag though when their eyes met his partner smiled. Halua began to move beside him and Emil followed her back to their group. 

“Do you like it?” Nier asked once the siblings were close and Emil could hear the amusement. He lightly slapped his friend’s arm before pulling him in for a quick peck. “Are you kidding? This is amazing! The books did it no justice!” he expressed while pointedly gesturing towards the water. How his friend could be this calm was beyond him but at least Halua shared his excitement. Nier merely chuckled and revealed a small ball made of stitched cloth from his bag. 

“Once you two are done admiring the water I thought that we could play some.” The words were directed at all of them and the smirk Nier wore was challenging. “That is, if no one is chickening out.”

“Oh, you’re fucking on, squirt.” Kainé said from her spot on the blanket. She had taken off her heels and walked over to them in order to take the ball from Nier. “Get ready to lose.” Halua and Emil both agreed to play as well though Weiss excused himself from participating. It was decided that the young man would act as the neutral referee who would keep track of the scores. 

The first teams were divided into Kainé and Emil against Nier and Halua. The rules were quickly explained and after they had drawn a simple field in the sand, the positions were taken. The idea was to keep the ball in the air without it touching the ground on the team’s side. Whichever group would get to ten points first would win. 

While the game sounded easy enough, all hell broke loose the moment Weiss announced the beginning. What had started out as a friendly competition quickly turned into a real battle and Emil was both impressed and intimidated by how serious everyone took this. Kainé and Nier seemed keen on winning, while Halua and Emil mostly played for fun. At some point his sister even had to mend the broken ball as Kainé had hit it hard enough to destroy it. 

Needless to say, Kainé had been forbidden to hit with her enhanced arm anymore. 

Through all the competition, yelling, and running Emil couldn’t deny the fun he was experiencing. Even when exhaustion began to catch up with him he tried his best to hit every ball that came his way. He was sweaty, sand clung to his legs and yet a bright grin was still decorating his face. 

He loved every minute of it. 

Eventually the teams were swapped around after a short break. Emil was teamed together with Nier while the two girls became their opponents. Deep down Emil knew that he had played a lot worse in this round but then again he did blame his teammate. The way Nier distracted him without even trying was majorly unfair though thankfully nobody pointed it out. He still tried his best even when it ended up with him running straight into his partner in the weak attempt of catching the ball. With a heavy grunt they fell to the ground and Emil found himself on top of his friend, their noses almost touching. He wasn’t sure if his cheeks were heating up because of the exertion or embarrassment but either way Emil didn’t resist when he was pulled into an unexpected kiss. The lips against his own were smiling and with a chuckle Emil reluctantly pulled away. 

“Come on, guys! Save it for later, we wanna play now!” Halua called from her side of the field and Emil looked at Nier as if trying to say that she had a point. He got back up onto his feet and pulled Nier up before they continued on with their games. 

In the end the girls won. It didn’t surprise him, seeing as how he and Nier had spent most of the game looking at one another rather than trying to hit the ball. For their victory they had been allowed to choose the first pieces of the bought watermelon and once everyone had grabbed something to eat and drink, they had sat down on the blankets together. Emil was sandwiched between his sister and partner, his gaze locked on the ocean just a few feet away from them. He leaned into the arm that had wrapped around him and sighed deeply. 

“Hey, Emil?” Nier whispered and the boy in question looked up. With the setting sun Nier’s hair looked almost illuminated and Emil followed the impulse to run his hand through it. His heart still squeezed with affection whenever he remembered that he had helped Nier wear it open again.

“What is it?” he mumbled back, focusing on brushing some white strands behind Nier’s ear. His friend smiled and kissed his wrist. 

“I’d like to show you something. Will you come with me?”

To the end of time, Emil thought to himself. He simply nodded and went to grab his shoes, informing Halua of Nier’s plans in the process. Once sufficiently dressed, Emil took the offered hand and allowed his friend to lead him away from their group. For a moment he had expected them to enter Seafront again but Nier guided him down the right path instead. They walked in silence for a few minutes until Emil saw the biggest building he had ever seen. 

“That’s a lighthouse.” Nier explained as he continued to walk towards it. A spiral path led up to it and Emil followed along all while his eyes were fixated on their destination. He had read about them but seeing a lighthouse in reality was a whole different experience. 

“I used to do some jobs for the one who was in charge. She passed away but the people from Seafront still allow me access for my help.”

Nodding, Emil allowed Nier to pull him into the construction. It was a small space with circular stairs leading up. The climb took quite a while and with the exhaustion from their games still in his bones Emil took a lot longer than his friend. Nier was patient with him throughout their ascent and just when he had thought he couldn’t go any further they finally reached the top. 

“Careful, watch your step.” Nier mumbled as he helped him up the remaining steps. Emil took a few deep breaths though once he noticed the view around them all exhaustion was quickly forgotten. He carefully stepped closer to the railing and stared down at the buildings and endless water. The people looked so small from up there, and if Emil squinted his eyes he could even make out their small camp at the beach. While the air was a bit more chilly up here the view was so much more beautiful. 

“Nier, I…” Emil didn’t know what to say. No words could describe what he was feeling. At that moment Emil had everything he had ever wanted. His sister, friends, and someone who accepted and liked him unconditionally. He could see, he could leave the forest, and the burden he had chosen to carry had been taken from him. 

Emil was free. And he was surrounded by people he adored. 

Turning away from the breathtaking view, Emil looked at the one who had made all of this possible. Arms wrapped around his waist and instinctively he placed his own around Nier’s neck. He ran his fingers through white hair and massaged the scalp while Nier’s thumbs caressed the skin underneath his shirt. They both leaned in at the same time though neither closed the distance. With their breath mixed, Emil was hyper aware of every little sensation. All his senses were filled with Nier and he didn’t want it any other way.

“Emil?” Nier whispered onto his lips and the boy simply nodded, not trusting his voice anymore. 

“I love you.”

Pale eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. Though Emil had thought these words over and over again, had even admitted to it when confronted by the Shadowlord, hearing these emotions be put into words by Nier was something completely new. His gaze softened and Emil pressed a bit closer until their foreheads touched. 

“I love you too, Nier.” he whispered. 

And when they kissed on top of the lighthouse with the ocean to their backs, all Emil could focus on was the unconditional affection he was feeling. 

This was what true happiness felt like. And it was a feeling he would never forget. 

Their friends were in the middle of packing their stuff when the two of them returned. Holding hands, Emil and Nier arrived just in time to offer help with the remaining tasks. One busied himself with rolling up the blanket while the other collected the remains of the watermelon. 

“Did you have fun?” Nier asked as they both finished up their tasks. Emil rolled his eyes at the very obvious question but decided to indulge his partner anyway. 

“It was the best day of my life.” he replied earnestly. The relief was easily readable in Nier’s expression and Emil once again wondered what he had done to deserve a friend like him. 

“I’m glad. Ever since you told me about the books you’ve read I couldn’t get the idea out of my head.” Nier explained further. He picked up the basket and brushed some sand off his pants. “The way you had described wanting to see the mountains, ocean and desert… Sure, you tried to cover it up with that weird story about a flask human but I knew you were just trying to brush off—”

Emil’s heart skipped a beat. He stared at his friend as if he had just grown a second head and his voice was hoarse when he spoke up. “W-What did you just say?”

Nier seemed caught off guard by his reaction. He looked at Emil with furrowed brows and hesitantly repeated what he had said. “Uhm… I said how you had wanted to see the desert and—”

But Emil already brushed that off with his hand. “No! No, the other thing!”

He knew that he was starting to creep Nier out but Emil needed to hear it again. Nier, although confused, gave him exactly what he wanted.

“What do you mean? The flask human?” 

Before his partner could continue, Emil grabbed his face and pulled him into a clumsy kiss. “Nier, you’re a genius!” 

“I am?” his friend asked though his question went unnoticed. All Emil could focus on was hurrying over to the rest of their group. He ran in front and successfully stopped them, and though he was out of breath, the boy grinned from ear to ear. 

“Guys! I know how we can find a body for Shade!”

They all stared at him in stunned silence, studying him as if he had gone crazy.

“We’ll grow one ourselves!”

Yeah, definitely crazy.

Chapter Text

Nier liked to think of himself as a smart enough guy. He had never been the most brilliant kid in the village but he had solved a few mysteries here and there by himself. He could usually follow conversations just fine, really.

But there was no way he could follow anything said between Emil and Weiss.

Ever since Nier had apparently said something genius Emil had been absorbed in a conversation with the librarian. At first Nier had tried to listen in and understand what exactly he had triggered but his two friends had soon started to throw in chemical materials and technical terms that eventually Nier had simply tuned out. 

“Do you have any clue?”  he instead asked, mostly to distract himself. They were still on their way back to the manor and with Emil being tied up in another conversation he looked for someone else to talk to.

Shade had been mostly dormant for the day. Since he had finished playing music for Kainé he had withdrawn into their soul though Nier had still managed to catch a glimpse of an innocent curiosity. It was difficult to hide such a strong interest when one shared a body with another. Regardless of that, Shade had kept to himself while they had enjoyed their afternoon at the beach. Now that Nier thought about it, it had probably been so he wouldn’t get interrupted in his time with Emil. A small smile tugged at his lips. This all powerful Shadowlord sure was considerate once he got to know him. 

Not really. Shade replied. Ever since Emil had caught everyone’s interest with his bold statement his other had been alert within them. 

Nier huffed. “Weren’t you the former master of the manor? How come you don’t know whatever book they’re talking about?” 

The irritation he could feel only made him smile more. 

Aren’t you always entering the library to see Popola? How come you haven’t read every single book in your own village? 

Okay, fair enough. Nier had to admit that Shade might have had a point. They had both been too busy looking for a cure for their sisters so Nier allowed his other off the hook this time. 

Soon the grassy fields of the southern plains morphed into the forest and Nier lazily swung his carried basket to and fro. He had never really thought about the question but…

“Hey, Shade?” 

A moment passed before he could feel the other stirring within him. Yes, Nier? 

“You grew the forest here to cover up Emil and the manor, right? And Devola and Popola spread the rumor of a monster so no one would even dare to enter this place… But now that Emil doesn’t have to petrify villagers anymore, what do you plan on doing with the forest? Eventually supply groups will notice that they won’t lose anyone anymore.” 

He could feel Shade’s hesitation. None of them had probably considered the consequences but with all the new changes in dynamics this was probably something that would have to change as well. 

What do you think should happen with the forest? 

It was a genuine question, Nier realized. Shade wanted to hear his thoughts and feelings on this matter. Instead of deciding by himself, his other was asking for input. It made him smile.

“It kinda grew on me, to be honest… I don’t want it to disappear, especially because of the manor… But I don’t want the villagers to live in fear either.”

Shade hummed inside their head. I could task Devola and Popola with spreading the new rumor of the monster having been slayed… The forest would remain but others would be able to traverse it without having to fear for their lives… 

“And the manor?” Nier asked. It was difficult to admit but Emil was his bigger concern here. He would rather have others live in fear if it meant keeping his second home safe. 

With the help of the twins I could construct a wall of magic so no one could find the place. Only those who are aware of its existence could break through the barricade… It would be magic I would have to renew every once in a while but it should be possible. 

Hope bubbled up within their shared soul and Nier placed his free hand on his chest, grabbing his shirt. His eyes were closed for a moment as he exhaled, allowing the tension and worries to leave him. 

“Thank you, Shade. For everything.” 

And Nier meant it. Ever since Emil had found them Shade had gone out of his way to help them and on top of it all, he had allowed Nier to remain in control. It would have been so easy to seize control for the entire duration of their research, to have their friends look at them with both fear and horror. It would have broken their hearts, to see Nier possessed and caged within his own body. But instead, Shade had allowed him to continue living his life. They swapped when they felt like it and neither had ever tried to forcefully take over. Nier lived his life and when someone wished to speak to Shade, or when Shade wanted out, they would simply slap hands and switch. 

Is someone getting emotional? Shade quietly teased. Of course Nier couldn’t hide these thoughts from his other. They could read one another like an open book. 

“You know, Shade… When you first gave me control, I wasn’t sure how long it would last… And I didn't know if I could truly live with having my body shared… But… But now…” Nier wasn’t sure how to continue. Now that Emil had apparently found a solution to their problem, a small part of him was sad. 

He could feel Shade’s emotions mirroring his own. There was a fondness coming from his new friend, one that reminded him of Shade’s friendship with Emil. 

... I will miss you too, Nier.

Looking up, Nier noticed that they had reached the manor. He straightened his back and followed the group inside, knowing that their first destination would be the library. 

It was about time they helped their friend. 

Shade wasn’t quite sure why he had been put into charge here. It wasn’t like he knew the books in the library or whatever Emil and Weiss had been talking about. So why Nier had insisted on him being out was beyond him. Nonetheless, he decided to enjoy the time in control. With his hands in his pockets he aimlessly walked around the big library as Emil and Weiss passed him several times. He had offered his help before but without knowing what to look for he and the others were mostly just in the way. And so he had decided to walk on the tiles, careful never to step on a line. It must have looked ridiculous to everyone around him as Kainé had snorted at some point but Shade hadn’t stopped yet. He needed to get rid of his pent up energy somehow. 

Shade, and probably everyone else in the library, flinched when Emil suddenly yelled. “I found it! Weiss, I got it!”

Looking up from the tile he was standing on, Shade watched as Emil came running over. His face was flushed, his hair messy but the huge grin spoke of his success. The little guy hurried over to a table near Weiss and presented the book he had found. Shade couldn’t quite make out the full title but it had something to do with a so-called ‘alchemy’. The two friends sat down at the table and huddled before the book. 

It would probably take a while for them to find enough information.

“I think I will go and unpack the baskets.” Shade said to Halua, pointing towards the doors leading out. The younger girl was busy feeding Sebastian some leftover food but once he had received a smile and a nod, he left their little group to pick up the abandoned bags. They were a bit heavier than he had expected but he managed to slowly carry them over into the kitchen. 

Truth be told, Shade felt nervous. For decades he had existed without a corporeal form and then he had finally found a body that had harmonized with his soul. He had grown used to Nier’s presence and imagining an empty body all to himself was… scary, in a way. But his biggest and most well hidden fear was to lose them all. 

Weiss, Halua, and the others… They had been interacting with him because he and Nier had been stuck together. So… when they were finally separated… Would they still care about him? Or would they send him away, never wanting to see him again for the curses he had bestowed upon them?

It was a fear that terrified him to no end. 

“Holy fucking shit, are you really that incompetent that you don’t even know how to properly wash the dishes? Move over, grab a towel and stop embarrassing yourself.”

His head snapped up when a rather rude voice tore him out of his thoughts. He looked surprised when Kainé fully entered the kitchen though when he looked down at the sink with the dirty knives and spoons he kinda saw what she meant. Shade had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even tried to scrap them clean. So when the woman pushed him aside he willingly made space and instead reached for a towel, drying his hands. 

“Sorry… I was distracted.” he mumbled. For a few moments he simply watched her clean the dishes before accepting the first offered plate. Shade dutifully dried it and placed it on the table to later stack it.

“Stop moping and start talking. You’ve been acting weird and it’s starting to get really annoying. Just open your mouth and spill it already.”

Though her words were harsh, Shade could hear no bite behind them. He shrugged his shoulders and finished drying a small knife. 

“I’m a bit…” he tried to look for the right words. “On the fence with getting a new body. Don’t get me wrong, I want to return the body to Nier and have him live his life. It’s just…” Shade sighed and looked away. He couldn’t face Kainé. “What’s going to happen to me? I don’t want to go back to being all alone, and while Devola and Popola have always been nice to me, they haven’t really been my friends. They were treating me like this deity that I didn’t want to be… It sounds stupid but… I guess I’m scared of losing all this once Nier and I are separated.” 

Shade felt embarrassed. He could feel his neck heating up with the turmoil of emotions he felt and the moment the words were out he already began to regret them. Stupid. Why was he so damn stupid and insecure? 

“Please, you think we’re keeping you around because you’re tied to our idiot? We could have knocked you two out and been done with it.”

Though Shade could hear that Kainé had stopped washing the dishes, he still refused to look up. It all changed when a wet hand reached for his cheeks, squeezing them together with her fingers, and Shade was forced to face her. His mouth began to hurt from the strength she was using but he didn’t dare complain. He was captivated by her eyes and when Kainé spoke up, Shade listened.

“Now listen here, Shadowlord, Shade, whatever you wanna call yourself. You’re not the only fucked up one here so get off your high horse. We’re all messed up people who were thrown away by others. The young twins with their disease, the book fanatic and his past, even Nier and his fucked up actions. We’re no saints and neither are you. But…” she let go of his cheeks and looked away, her hands clenched into fists before they relaxed. “... But if they can accept someone like me, who got fucked over at birth, then they can find it in themselves to keep a lousy excuse of a powerful being like you around too. Even if you’re the most useless god I’ve ever met.” 

When Kainé returned her focus on the dirty cutlery, all Shade could do was stare at her. The turmoil of emotions slowly began to entangle and what he ended up with was admiration and gratefulness. Shade looked down at his hands and smiled. 

“... Thank you, Kainé.” he whispered softly though the woman simply grunted in response. He took the next knife and dried it properly. A couple minutes passed before he spoke up again.

“I think… I think once I have my own body I will start travelling. Yonah and Halua aren’t the only kids with the black disease… I thought I would have to use my powers to enforce justice but maybe… Maybe it can be enough if I simply heal… Emil told me that no one should become the judge and executioner and I think he was right… So I want to use my magic for good, even if it means leaving this place for a while. I have too many years to make up for.”

The more Shade talked about it, the more convinced he was. He didn’t want to hide from the world anymore and let others do his bidding. No, this time he wanted to travel the world and help others himself. And though the idea of leaving Nier, Emil and the others behind surely hurt, Shade found himself content with his decision. He could always come back and visit them. 

“If you do end up playing the savior of the world… Let me know. A fucking idiot like you is going to need help. And besides, if you ever relapse I still got this arm of yours I can shove up your ass.”

Looking up from his task, Shade stared at Kainé with wide eyes. Threat aside, had she truly just offered to come with him? He wanted to say something, anything to give his emotions a form but Kainé was quicker. 

“Once this is all over the kids won’t need me anymore. Emil has enough people around him now, he doesn’t need me as his babysitter. And I don’t want to live in a boring as shit village. That kinda life isn’t for me.”

His heart squeezed with affection and Shade looked down at the next plate. He nodded and the smile he wore was a loving one. 

“Right… I’ll let you know once I leave.”

The rest of their time together was spent in silence but Shade had enough to think about. And thankfully, Nier remained quiet through it all, allowing him to truly live in the moment.

It was late at night when Nier was woken up. He couldn’t remember when he had fallen asleep but when he looked up from his awkward position at the table, a piece of paper was stuck to his face. The boy furrowed his brows in confusion though a familiar giggle chimed through the room as he was being freed from the nuisance.

“Sorry for waking you.” Emil whispered. Now that Nier was more awake he could make out the dark circles under a pale eye. His partner looked exhausted and tired, and the guilt Nier felt did not belong to him.

“Have you been awake this whole time?” Nier mumbled back as he stretched his back and arms. A glance around told him that the girls had probably gone to their rooms as it was only Weiss, Emil and him around. A couple hours ago he had been told to go to bed but Nier had wanted to stay with them. He rubbed the remaining sleep out of his eyes and hid a small yawn.

“I’m okay.” Emil lied but Nier didn’t call him out for it. He doubted that his friend would be willing to lie down and sleep while they were this close to the solution.

“Weiss and I… We think we got everything down now. For a new body, I mean. We know what to do.”

This certainly perked his interest and any sleepiness was gone in an instant. Nier got up from his chair and followed Emil over to their table, revealing the dozens of papers that had been scribbled on and abandoned. His friend yawned, only worrying him some more. 

“We got the theory down.” Emil explained as he sat down. “So called alchemists once believed that they could grow a small guy in a flask by merging human and animal components. They believed that if they used the fluids of men they could grow their own little person.” The smaller boy smiled weakly. “Obviously it didn’t work out and looking back on their theories it is really questionable. But then Weiss and I thought about it. We have something those alchemists were lacking… real magic.” 

Weiss hummed from his seat. He looked just as exhausted as Emil, if not more. His usually carefully braided hair was quite messy and the man ran his hands over his face before speaking up. “Based on the hypothesis of those alchemists Emil and I started to consider the matters and tools we have at hand. We regarded our individual powers as well as the possible limitations of Shade, trying to see if we could match them together in order to create a suitable body. While at this point in time it is still mere speculation, we might have come up with a theory. It will take all of us to test it, mind you, but we are confident that if we follow this trail of evidence we might eventually be successful.” 

Nier wasn’t sure if the appreciation he felt belonged to him, Shade or the two of them. Regardless, he patted Weiss’ shoulder before moving over to his partner. Emil heavily leaned against him once he stood close enough and Nier automatically placed his arm around the other, offering support. The time and effort they had put into their research was incredible and Nier doubted that he or Shade could thank them enough. The dedication their friends had shown warmed them to the bones. 

“That is some amazing news, you two. And I agree that we should test them soon…” He looked down at Emil who could barely keep his eyes open. “... But not tonight. Kainé and Halua are already in their rooms and you two should rest as well. If everyone is tired we might just mess something up so I suggest we all get a good night’s rest.” 

The lack of complaints really showed how tired the two were. 

Nier helped the two of them up though Weiss insisted on making it to his guest room by himself. He merely nodded as the librarian waved them a good night and once Weiss had left the room, Nier began to lift Emil into his arms. The smaller boy whined softly but the exhaustion was obvious in Emil’s body language. He loosely wrapped an arm around Nier’s neck while his head rested against the shoulder. Usually Nier would have found it difficult to carry someone his height but he had the slight suspicion that Shade was helping him out with some extra strength. And so he carried his partner down the dark and silent hallways to his bedroom. Emil was mumbling some unintelligible words but Nier simply let him be. 

The bedroom door was pushed open with his back. Carefully, as to not disturb Emil, Nier carried him over to the bed and put him down. He removed his friend’s shoes and even managed to take the cloak off after some initial tries, placing it on the shelf nearby. And though Nier had intended on leaving quietly, he was still surprised when a weak hand wrapped around his wrist. 

“Will you stay?” Emil mumbled as he forced himself into a sitting position. Nier had half the mind to decline but when he looked at the tired form of his friend, the way he rubbed his good eye and yawned, he didn’t find it in himself to say no. 

“... Okay. Just let me get ready.” he whispered back. Emil nodded and laid down again though he already edged closer to the wall in order to make space. Nier began by taking off his shoes and any unnecessary clothing. His heart was racing as he climbed onto the bed and under the blanket, already feeling the heat of the other. Emil’s back was facing him and Nier was content simply staying at the edge but when a hand reached for his arms, Nier allowed his friend to wrap it around his waist. With a small smile Nier took the quiet permission and edged closer until he could comfortably hold the small body. Emil pressed back against him and together they fully relaxed. 

“Hey, Emil?” Nier whispered after a few minutes. At first he thought that his partner was already asleep but Emil eventually made a small noise, indicating that he was listening. 

“I was wondering… Would you like to move in with me and Yonah? Once everything is done, I mean… I know our house isn’t the biggest and that the manor offers a lot more but…”

“Yes.” Emil softly spoke, cutting him off successfully. The smaller boy turned in his hold so they could face one another, a smile on his lips. “I’d love to…” 

Nier was taken aback by the quick response. He had thought he would have to convince his friend but even in the darkness Nier could see the small sparkle in his friend’s eye. Leaning closer, he rubbed their noses together with a breathless chuckle. 

The manor would always be their second home. A place where they could meet with their friends, where they could simply be themselves away from reality. But Nier wanted Emil to be a part of his whole life. And that included the village and Yonah. Maybe once Yonah was old enough she could live alone in their home while the two of them fully returned to the mansion… But until then, Nier wanted Emil to be with him. 

And with their breaths mixing the two fell asleep, holding one another even in their dreams.

Chapter Text

Fiddling around with his scarf, Emil walked up and down inside the library. They were just waiting for Kainé to show up before sharing their idea with the rest of the group and to say that he was nervous would have been an understatement. The euphoria from having found a possible solution also brought the fear of failure and Emil was scared he had given them hope he couldn’t follow up on. 

“It’ll be okay.” Nier said from somewhere next to him. He had taken a seat on the table but Emil hadn’t joined him yet. He had to get rid of his energy first. His head snapped up when the door opened and the moment Kainé entered he knew that it was time. 

“T-Thank you all for coming.” Emil whispered before quickly clearing his throat. “As you know, Weiss and I have worked together to figure out a way to provide a body for Shade… At first we looked into more natural possibilities but it quickly became apparent that we couldn’t just steal a-an abandoned body…” The boy looked down at his fingers, nervousness spiking. “But thanks to Nier… I remembered a book I had once read. It was about a wannabe science called alchemy, which back then was described as a combination of the supernatural and art… Most of those ideas and theories are pretty useless with what we know today but… But it made me wonder if we couldn’t just use the general concept of those thoughts.”

When Emil stretched his hand out to Nier, they both knew who he really needed beside him. The change was imminent as specks of gold appeared within blue, successfully drowning it out within the blink of an eye. Shade took the offer and soon stood by his side, looking at him with curiosity. 

“The body we want to create wouldn’t all be biological. It would be a mix of artificial, magical, and biological components. And it would take all our powers to make it happen.” 

Emil let go of his scarf and motioned over to his friends. “Weiss can program the new body with Shade’s memories and personality… We will use Halua’s rewriting of the future to turn the components into a human-like body… And we will need Kainé’s strength for the… for the casting mold.” 

The boy flinched slightly when he felt everyone’s eyes on him. This was the aspect of their theory that he hated the most. His heart felt heavy and even when asked for more details, Emil hesitated greatly in answering. 

“What about Nier? Does he have a role?” Shade asked, causing Emil to whimper. His hands returned to the scarf and he looked down at the ground. 

“Seeing as how Nier’s body is in perfect harmony with you, the young lad and I have discussed using him as a general base for your new body.” Weiss explained in place of him. Emil finally looked up at Shade, his eyes teary. 

“That casting mold… That would be where my… where my powers come into play.”

He didn’t want to say more. Emil couldn’t put the idea into words but it seemed as if Shade had caught up, judging by his wide eyes. Looking away again, Emil stared at his hands.

“You… You’re talking about petrifying Nier.”

Emil nodded in shame. The tears now threatened to fall as his heart and mind hurt. He had never wanted to direct his powers at his partner and even though it wouldn’t be permanent, the idea alone scared him. Emil didn’t want to see yet another dear person suffer under his curse. 

The boy was pulled out of his thoughts when a hand came to rest on his own. In surprise he looked up from the floor, his gaze meeting that of Halua. His sister smiled at him and reached up to wipe a tear away. 

“It would only be for a few minutes, right? He would be petrified and we would immediately start on getting him out of there without breaking his stoney cast?” 

Emil numbly nodded. “W-With normal statues it probably wouldn’t work as their skin itself becomes stone… But if it’s Nier… W-We believe that Shade’s magic is enough for a protective layer… Like a blanket between them and the actual stone…”

Though he still felt ashamed, Emil looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Shade and the look he gave him was a kind one. 

“It’s okay, Emil. I trust you, we trust you. And while I have never been on the receiving end of my own powers, I believe that your theory is correct. I am the source of your abilities, they are directly linked to me. So I truly doubt that they could do too much harm to me.” Gold shifted into blue and Nier took Emil’s hand, kissing its knuckles. “It’ll be fine, Emil. I don’t mind. Halua said it didn’t hurt, right? So don’t worry about me.” Nier broke into a smaller smile. “And hey, it means I finally get to see both of your eyes. That sounds like a win-win situation to me.” 

Nier’s attempt at cheering him up helped somewhat. Though he still felt like crying, Emil returned the smile and wiped his eyes dry. “Okay…” He took several deep breaths to calm himself and once he was sure he wouldn’t cry again, the boy lightly slapped his own cheeks. “Okay, w-with that out of the way… It will probably take a few hours for us to get a perfect casting mold. We can’t have it break and we have to figure out the best way to cut it open in half. So…”

“So we should start as soon as possible.” Nier finished for him. Emil hesitantly nodded. There wasn’t anything he could have said or done to prevent this. They needed a body that would be as closely linked to Nier’s as possible and so they couldn’t risk changing the form too much. 

“With that out of the way, I will leave the creation of the mold to your capable hands, young Emil. Take Halua and the hussy with you, in the meantime I will gather the other components.” Weiss spoke as he pushed himself up from his own seat. He held a list in his hand that no doubt listed those materials they had discussed. 

“I will be with you before long. Now go, we have no time to waste.” the librarian stated, sending them away with his hands. Emil grabbed both his partner and sister, not saying another word as he led them out of the library. He stayed quiet as their little group of four walked down the hallways though too quickly did they reach the bedroom he and Weiss had chosen. With his heart hammering loudly in his chest, Emil tried to psych himself up for what was going to happen. Halua was the cure to his curse, Shade himself confirmed their theory so why couldn’t Emil find peace with this plan? Why was the idea of petrifying Nier shaking him to his core if they had so many safety measures in place? 

Emil was torn out of his thoughts when Nier suddenly dragged him out of the room again. The smaller boy watched as his partner lifted his finger in a gesture that said ‘give us a moment’, before the girls fully disappeared out of their view. Unsure of what was happening, Emil allowed himself to be dragged down the hallway until they finally came to a stop. It was only when he looked down at their hands did he realize how much he had been shaking. 

“Nier, I—” But before he could have said anything, a hand was placed over his eyes while another arm wrapped around his waist. 

“Do you know who you are, Emil?” Nier whispered. The hallway was quiet except for his irregular breath and for a moment the boy didn’t know what his friend meant. 

But then it clicked. 

His conflicted expression morphed into a calmer one and when he exhaled, it felt like the weight of the world was being lifted from his back. 

“I am Emil… Nothing more, nothing less.” he mumbled. “The boy who hesitated to remove his blindfold when he found a stranger in the forest… The one who fell head over heels for someone who accepted him regardless of his actions…” His voice grew sturdier as he pushed on. “And the friend who was willing to risk his life to get his dear companion back.”

Reaching up, Emil removed Nier’s hand so he could look at his beloved partner with his pale eye. 

“I’m not a monster.”

The smile Nier showed him was brilliant and Emil could feel butterflies in his stomach. “And why is that?” his friend pushed on.

“Because I would never hurt you.” Emil breathed just as their lips met. It was a slow kiss, one that had nothing to prove and yet Emil could feel their unspoken emotions. When he pulled back, Nier rested their foreheads together. 

“Are you ready?”

He merely nodded. 

Once Nier had laid down in the bed, Emil took several deep breaths. Both Halua and Kainé stood behind him so there was no possibility that he could accidentally look at them. Slowly, he reached up and removed the blindfold. It fell to the ground but for another moment he kept his eyes shut. 

“Nier?” He spoke quietly into the room. There was a moment of silence before he could hear a confirming hum. “I’m ready, Emil. I’m okay.” 

And when Emil opened his eyes, it was to the sight of his partner smiling. He leaned a bit closer just to grant Nier his wish even when the sound of cracking stones echoed through his ears. Emil forced himself to ignore the haunting noise as he focused on his friend, allowing Nier to see both his eyes. 

“Beautiful.” Nier mouthed just as the curse fully petrified him, leaving behind a timeless sculpture of his partner. 

Emil had promised himself he wouldn’t cry. He carefully cupped the statue’s cheek, the cold stone a stark contrast to the usual warmth Nier shared with him. Though Emil had expected the sight to be much more frightening, Nier looked like he was peacefully sleeping. He traced the skin for another moment before closing his eyes again. There was no need to say anything as he was handed back a new cloth to cover his eye with.

“Are you alright?” Halua said from behind him and when Emil turned around, it was with a shaking smile. 

“Yeah… Yeah, I think I am. Let’s get to work, shall we? I don’t want his neck to cramp up.” His friends returned his smile and together they surrounded the petrified body of his partner. Halua was the first to act. She placed a single finger onto Nier’s head, right in the middle of it. As carefully as she could, she began to erase a fine line of stone. They had to be slow, cautious and precise. It was like cutting out a fragile and delicate stone plate. Halua had to be mindful not to break too much and her work had to be steady so that the two forms would later fit perfectly together. 

It took her around half an hour for the head and shoulders alone. Emil could see the exhaustion catching up to her. She would wipe her forehead with her shirt, shake her hands out or crack her neck. But no matter how often he or Kainé would tell her to take a break, Halua would refuse with eyes of determination. And in a way, Emil knew that she was pushing herself for his sake. The longer they took, the longer Emil would have to endure the sight of Nier petrified. And so his dearest sister tried to act fast but accurate. 

Halua was incredible.

Walking over to his sister, Emil used a moment of her catching her breath to pull her closer. With a hand placed on her head he pressed an affectionate kiss to her forehead. She had just made it past the first arm and from what any of them could tell, she had done a remarkable job so far. 

“I owe you so much, sister.” he mumbled as he pulled back though Halua simply shrugged her shoulders with a grin. She used her sleeve to wipe at her forehead again.

“That’s what older siblings are for.” 

Halua was just about to continue when she hesitated for a moment. “Hey, Emil?” she asked, her voice somewhat hesitant. The boy in question hummed as he offered her a glass of water. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

For a moment it seemed like she was embarrassed to speak up but after having returned the glass, Halua continued. 

“... Would you sing for me?”

It was an odd request. They both knew that he had always been a terrible singer but then again… Emil’s expression softened and a quiet chuckle escaped him. 

“Sure… But only if Kainé promises not to laugh. And no one tell Nier.” He pointedly stared at both his sister and friend to make sure they gave him his word. Clearing his throat more for show than anything else, Emil took a deep breath before starting to sing a silly song the twins had come up with when they had been small. Though his singing was flat, Emil still gave it his all. He remembered the last few times he had sung in order to cheer his sister up. She had been sick and bed ridden for days as her black disease had gotten worse. Back then Emil had spent most of their time crying but whenever Halua had asked him to sing, he had done so immediately. While it had been a way for him to calm his nerves, Emil later had realized that it had helped his sister as well. When they could joke together they knew that everything would be okay. 

As long as they had one another they could push through whatever difficulties laid ahead. 

And so Emil sang. He sang, and he missed notes, and his voice would crack but Halua’s laughter would push him to continue. She would join in whenever she remembered the lyrics and they would spend the next few hours supporting each other in their own ways. 

“I’m done.” Halua finally groaned out after who knew how long it had taken them. She collapsed onto the floor and covered her face with her arm as her whole body needed to recover from the immense use of power and concentration. Her cheeks were flushed, her chest moving with heavy breaths and her clothes were drenched in sweat. “B-Be careful, Kainé… I don’t think I can do this again anytime soon…”

With his sister’s job done, it was now up to Kainé to finish the first step of their plan. Emil, though still a weakling, positioned himself at the statue’s head. Halua had managed to properly cut the sculpture open and now they needed to pick it up and put it somewhere where it wouldn’t break. Emil and his friend looked at each other and began to find a good hold on the stone. It was difficult to find anything proper to get his fingernails under but after a few tries the two of them were confident with their choice. 

“On three.” Kainé said and Emil nodded. His heart hammered loudly and he prayed that his sweaty hands wouldn’t slip up.

“One.” 

Shifting his weight, Emil leaned down and checked his hold on the stone one more time.

“Two.”

The boy exhaled and bent his back.

“Three.”

With a loud groan Emil tried to lift his side of the stone casket. It was a lot heavier than he had expected and within seconds his arms and back screamed at him to drop the uncarriable weight. His teeth were gritted and nails dug into stone but luckily Emil didn’t have to endure the burden for long as he only needed to wait out until Kainé could correct her hold. Just when he had thought he couldn’t bear it any longer the weight suddenly became so much lighter and Emil almost lost his balance after the sudden shift. Upon looking up he saw Kainé carrying the whole half of the statue by herself. 

And it looked perfect. Now that Emil didn’t have to worry about breaking his back he could see how precise his sister had worked. A bit wonky here and there, Halua had managed to cut mostly in a straight line and at first glance he couldn’t see anything that was too broken for them to work with. 

As carefully as she could, Kainé put the top half of their future casting mold onto the bed next to Nier. Emil could see his friend’s chest slowly lifting with each breath and the closer he looked, the better he could see a faint layer of golden light. 

Their theories had been correct. Shade’s magic had protected them. 

Before they woke him up, however, Kainé was tasked with carrying Nier to a different bedroom. They couldn’t risk him waking up and destroying his little bed of stone with some unintentional movements. She was slow in her movements as she picked up his small frame like it weighed nothing. A part of Emil wanted to follow her and make sure that he was alright but for now he had something more important to do.

With a small smile Emil laid down on the floor next to Halua. He wouldn’t say anything as she was still panting, rather he reached out for her hand. Burning hot fingers would intertwine with his and the twins would simply lay on the uncomfortable ground, staring at the ceiling together. 

“Sister?” Emil asked after a minute of silence. He looked over to her and she soon returned the gesture. They stared at one another before he continued.

“Nier asked me to move in with him and Yonah… And I want to, really, but I want to know what you think about it. I don’t want to abandon you after you just returned to me.”

Halua’s expression was unreadable when she returned her attention to the room’s ceiling. “... I guessed as much.” she said, amusement in her voice. It wasn’t the reaction he had expected but Emil remained quiet as she continued. “I’m glad, in a way. Ever since I woke up I noticed that you had grown up in my absence. You don’t need me anymore, Emil. Not really.” 

Before he could even dream of denying this, Halua rolled onto her stomach so she could fully look at him. Though her eyes were watery, her grin was real. “Don’t take it the wrong way! You just learned to fend for yourself. You don’t need a big sister looking out for you. You made friends without me, learned how to do all kinds of stuff and you managed to look after yourself for so many years…” She let go of their joined hands so she could brush some hair out of his face. “And that’s a good thing, Emil. Every older sibling wants to see their little ones grow and become independent. And I’m proud of you. So proud, you have no idea.” 

When Emil’s own tears swelled up he didn’t try to fight them. He had never held back in front of Halua and he wouldn’t start now. Besides, she herself was crying too. 

“I would like it if you moved in with Nier. Then I would know that you’re safe and happy…”

“B-But what about you?” Emil forced out. His vision was somewhat blurry but he continued to focus on his sister’s small frame.

“Kainé told me that she and Shade are going to travel the world.” Halua whispered. “They will see the deserts and mountains and places beyond our maps. And I want to go with them, Emil. I want to see the world and grow up at my own pace. We both have lost so many years but I’m not ready to settle down yet. I want to experience everything the world has to offer.”

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Emil opened his arms. Though the idea of separation hurt him deeply, there was no way he would deny his sister her deepest wish. He pulled her into a hug and though they were both crying, he was still smiling. 

“You… you deserve it, Halua… All this time you looked after me… I want you to be happy. I want you to do what you want to do and not worry about me anymore… I’m fine… It’s time you finally live your own life…”

When Halua leaned back in the embrace, he allowed her to ruffle his hair like she had always done. “We will stay in touch! Write lots of letters! We can even use Sebastian as our personal carrier pigeon!”

They both began to chuckle and Emil wiped his tears away. “I-I’d like that. Just… Just make sure to come home every few months, okay?”

His sister nodded in agreement and another moment passed with the twins enjoying each other’s presence. They were holding each other’s hands and though the idea of not seeing one another did hurt, they both knew that they had their own lives to live. And in the end they would never be truly alone. Their love and family would connect them forever.

“Hey, Emil.” Kainé’s voice came as a surprise for both of them. The boy looked up from his position on the floor, already at attention. 

“He’s gonna wake up soon.” his friend whispered. For a moment Emil hesitated but when Halua shoved him into the direction of the door, he knew he had permission to leave. He eagerly got onto his feet and thanked Kainé for her help before making his way down to the next bedroom. There, he found Nier still asleep on the bed. Emil quietly walked over and sat down, successfully stirring his partner awake. 

“.... Emil?” Nier mumbled as blue eyes opened. The boy in question smiled and cupped his friend’s face with one hand. 

“Good morning, Nier.”

Chapter Text

When Weiss finally showed up with the needed components Emil could have sworn he had heard a collective sigh in the hallway. The little group of theirs had waited outside as the sight of the molding cast sure had creeped them somewhat out. Seeing a perfect replica of Nier just laying on the bed while the real deal had been with them had weirded Emil more out than he would have liked. 

“I apologize for the delay, some of the materials I had to collect from the village and thus I had to head there first. Luckily, I received help from the twins Devola and Popola who offered me the missing items and… Are you okay, lad? You seem a bit pale.” Weiss came to a hesitant stop in front of them, several bags hanging from his shoulders. Emil’s head snapped up and he quickly shook his head before hesitating and nodding instead.

“I’m fine!” he quickly replied. “So you got everything we need?”

Weiss nodded and placed the bags down. “I was not able to carry the two buckets inside because of their weight but they are waiting in the front hall.” the Librarian placed a hand onto his back and leaned back in order to stretch his sore muscles, his gaze wandering towards Kainé. “I would suggest the hussy to make herself be useful for once and go collect them for us. I doubt my back can withstand much more strain and with her power being focused in her arm rather than her head, I believe she would be just the perfect candidate for this kind of task.”

“Careful, book fanatic. I can snap your precious back like a fucking twig if you don’t watch your damn mouth.” the woman huffed though Emil was relieved to see Kainé saunter down the hallway to grab the last components that they would need. Together the small group of friends entered the room again and Weiss whistled lowly when he saw the two halves of Nier’s statue.

“It is almost terrifying how lifelike it looks… Did all your statues appear this real, young Emil?” Weiss asked as he placed the bags onto a nearby table. Emil hummed as his hand absently reached up to make sure his blindfold was still in place. 

“They all looked like that. The details are pretty scary, I guess. You can even make out smaller details like scars.” 

The boy pointedly avoided looking over to their little creation on the bed. Instead, he busied himself with unpacking the materials they would need. Charcoal, bottles of water, a vial of guano, some cheese, and wheat… It was incredible to Emil that most of his body was made of stuff that could be found in these normal ingredients. It made him wonder just how much or how little their bodies were worth if taken apart. 

“Now, for the most difficult part.” Weiss exclaimed as he finished sorting out the tools they would need. Three small bowls were placed in front of him and he held a knife in his hand while holding the other out for Nier. Emil watched as his partner grew tense, not yet knowing what they needed. 

“He needs your blood.” Emil began to explain as he took a gentle hold of Nier’s arm. His friend looked at him and he smiled softly. “In order to make the body truly Shade’s, we need his memories. The essence that makes him… Well, him. In order to do that, Weiss will separate your memories from his. He basically wants to filter your blood so that when Shade moves over, his body will be truly his.”

Nier hesitantly nodded and held his hand out. Weiss placed the biggest bowl underneath so when he cut the boy’s palm, the blood was immediately caught. A small hiss escaped Nier but besides that Emil was impressed by how quiet he remained. Maybe it was because Emil himself was rather sensitive to pain but he wouldn’t have been able to stay this silent if his palm had been cut like that.

But then again Nier had once admitted that he was used to stab wounds. 

Once the bowl was halfway filled Weiss waved his hand. Halua, who had been resting for most of the conversation, got up from her chair in order to run her finger over the wound. The skin stitched itself together wherever she had touched and once it had been closed, she fell back into her resting spot. Emil mumbled a quiet thanks but she simply brushed it off with a tired smile. 

What happened next still surprised Emil. He had known about Weiss’ curse for quite some time now but seeing it in action was completely different. A few droplets of blood began to float from the bowl and Emil watched with amazement as they expanded and stretched until they had taken on the form of a blood red paper. Letters in a darker red began to appear on the paper and after just a few sentences had been written Weiss moved his hand to the right, causing the paper to land in the right bowl while another page was sent to the left one. 

They all watched in silence as Weiss began to separate the pages that described Nier’s and Shade’s lives. Over and over again drops were sent either to the left or right side, successfully isolating the two personalities. With the long life Shade had been living so far they knew this process would take some time.

It reminded him of something.

Taking Nier’s hand into his own, Emil led his friend out of the room and down the hallway to his own bedroom. They were silent for a second before his friend caved in and began talking.

“Where are we going?” Nier asked with slight amusement in his voice. 

“Well, Weiss doesn’t need us right now as we would only distract him from his work. And I want to return something to you.” Not saying anything else, Emil dragged his partner all the way until they reached their goal. He let Nier wait in the door as he opened a drawer from his table. It took some rummaging and replacing of items but eventually Emil found what he had been looking for. The next time he turned to face his friend, it was with a heavy book in his hands. The recognition was immediate.

“That… That’s my…” 

Emil nodded and he met Nier halfway in the room to hand it over. “It’s your blood grimoire.” he finished for the other. Nier carefully accepted the book and looked through a few pages before looking back at him.

“But how?”

“Yonah gave it to me.” Emil answered. “She found it in your house when you… When you were gone. When I visited her and Weiss, she pulled me aside and told me I reminded her of the hero in this book.” His shy smile began to grow when he noticed the embarrassment in Nier’s body language. “I couldn’t read it back then… And ever since I remembered you I haven't read it either, don’t worry… But I held onto it in case you wanted it back.”

A train of emotions passed over Nier’s face within a blink of an eye. Emil crossed his hands behind his back, gently rocking back and forth as he waited for his friend to settle. He had expected different emotions. Embarrassment, maybe. Annoyance? A possibility. But when Nier held the book close to his chest as if it was the most precious item in the world, Emil was surprised. 

“Thank you, Emil… I feared it had gotten lost or… or disappeared or something… Thank you for returning it.”

The warm feeling he recognized as affection spread through his body and Emil cocked his head in curiosity. For a second he bit his lips but in the end he voiced his question anyway. 

“I thought you wanted to get rid of it… How come Yonah found it in your home?”

He watched as Nier walked over to his bed and took a seat. The grimoire was being opened to one of the last chapters and Nier seemed to read something for a few seconds. 

“I did want to burn it… But then I took a look inside… And I found memories I had forgotten…” Nier’s eyes became watery and with a chuckle he ran his fingers over the dark ink. “I had forgotten the few times our father had come home early from work in order to teach me how to wield a weapon… I couldn’t remember my mother’s recipe for Yonah’s favourite stew… And when I go to the last pages I can reread my first impressions of you. I can read how my initial curiosity turned into interest and eventually affection.” 

Nier petted a spot next to him and Emil dutifully sat down. He remained quiet as his partner continued to speak. “I wanted to get rid of it… But this book reminds me of so many little details I hadn’t thought about for years. There are sad times. Tough times. And some moments I would rather erase from my memory altogether…” They both knew what he was talking about, and Emil brushed some white hair behind Nier’s ear as a quiet reminder that he was here. Nier smiled at him and leaned into the touch with a deep sigh. “But in the end all of these little moments shaped me into who I am today. So I want to keep it. Do you think that’s stupid?”

Emil shook his head without hesitation. “No… No, it’s absolutely not stupid. I think it’s amazing, actually. And… And I think I want the same. Once all of this is done I will ask Weiss to make a grimoire for me! The memories of this journey are my greatest treasure and I don’t ever want to forget a single one of them!”

Grinning widely, Emil took the book from Nier’s lap and put it aside so he could tackle his friend. With a yell they both fell back onto the bed, with Emil on top. He was giggling loudly and leaned over his partner, his hands moving from white hair to a small nose and round face.

“I will engrave everything into my heart! Your messy hair, your adorable nose and the fact that you see me as your knight in shining armor!” 

Nier’s laughter echoed through the room as he tried in vain to get Emil off him. He swatted hands away but no matter what, Emil would find a way back to poke at his cheeks. 

“Yonah exaggerated! I never thought that!” his partner complained and a second later Emil screamed in surprise when arms wrapped around his middle, successfully throwing him off. After a moment the smaller boy found himself pressed into the bed with an out of breath Nier on top. They were both panting and Emil knew that his own reddening face mirrored that of Nier. He held his breath as his partner leaned down and when their lips met, he smiled into the kiss.

“... Fine, I yield.” Emil whispered, amusement in his voice. He wrapped his arms around Nier’s neck and rubbed their noses together. “I wouldn’t mind if you were my knight though. Sweep me right off my feet.”

And when they closed the distance for another kiss, Emil felt deep down that the rest of his life had finally begun. 

It was late evening when Weiss called them back into the room. Just like Halua he looked like he had been running for hours. His braided hair looked messy, his sleeves had been pushed up to his elbows, and the trembling hands showed the exhaustion he was feeling. 

But Weiss had done it. There, on the table lay several carefully categorized grimoires. While a single book read Nier’s name, another six displayed the word ‘Shade’. For a second Emil was surprised. He had expected their friend’s true name to be written down on his autobiography but then again it made sense, in a way. If the Shadowlord perceived himself as Shade then the books would represent his new state of mind. After all, these grimoires were a mirror of their true selves. And if he was Shade in his heart, it was reasonable enough. 

Emil watched as Nier walked over to the stacked books. His fingers caressed the hardcover and when their eyes met, he was greeted by gold. Shade attempted to smile.

“I had no clue my life has been this long already… It must have caused you quite some trouble, Weiss. I apologize.”

But the librarian simply waved the concerns off. Though exhausted, Weiss looked quite pleased with himself. “Worry not, my friend. It was a pleasure and I would do it again in a heartbeat… or two… First, I will need a day’s rest.”

The rest of their group turned to Emil, seemingly awaiting any further instructions. His skin began to crawl with the pressure but after a deep breath he managed to calm most of his nerves.

“Okay… Okay, our preparations are done. We should have everything to create a new body now.” 

Emil began to instruct his friends. The books and ingredients were carried over to the bed, and the two buckets Kainé had carried upstairs for them were brought closer. He could see Shade raise a brow when he caught sight of the content.

“Dirt?” 

But Emil shook his head. “Soil. With a little bit of fertilizer. It’s from my flower field and will act as the base of your body.” He could see the way Shade pulled his nose in disgust and with a grin he pushed his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t be like that! All plants grow from it! Once we’re done you shouldn’t look like a mud monster! … Hopefully.” the boy added, mostly to mock Shade. 

Kainé began to spread the soil within the first half of their casting mold. Emil helped to make it look as even as possible. He patted the dirt and once satisfied, he reached into a bag to pull out another material he had asked Weiss to retrieve. Two gorgeous white flowers were revealed and Emil placed one where the head would be and one in place of the heart.

“Lunar Tears.” Emil explained. “They are said to grant wishes… I thought we could add them for good luck.” 

Shade’s eyes spoke of affection when he ruffled Emil’s hair. “I appreciate it. We can use some extra luck.”

After the soil and flowers, Emil began to place the rest of the grimoires and components in the dirt. He and Weiss had found a list of elements that their human bodies were made of. Oxygen, carbon, nitrogen and others were needed to create a life. In combination with Shade’s memories and DNA from his blood it should hopefully offer enough components of a real body. 

And truth be told, the casting mold began to look like a complete mess. A combination of dirt, cheese, wheat and water sure made for a disgusting combination and Emil knew that the others were as sceptical as he was. But he didn’t allow any doubts to cloud his judgement. Emil believed in their hard work and even if this attempt would fail, they would try over and over again.

Because Shade was their friend.

Kainé and Shade carefully placed the top of the statue onto the casting mold once they had added all materials. The moment they had so long waited for had finally arrived and Emil’s heart began to race.

This was it. All or nothing. 

“Please lie down.” Emil instructed their friend. Shade did as he had been told and took his position next to the statue. It was an eerie sight, seeing two identical bodies so close next to one another. One made from stone, the other from flesh and bone. 

Shade hesitantly reached for the statue’s hand, establishing a link they would have to use. 

And now, it was all up to them.

Halua was the first to take her position. She sat down on the edge of the bed and placed her hand onto the chest of the statue. Golden eyes reopened and for a moment Shade simply stared at each of them.

“... Thank you.” their friend whispered and Emil could hear the unsaid words. The smaller boy smiled and nodded. 

“Thank us once you wake up in your new body.” 

Shade huffed in amusement and allowed his eyes to flutter shut again. The room was quiet except for the collective breaths. Emil placed his hand on top of Halua’s and soon after he could feel Kainé’s and Weiss’ hands as well. His sister’s green magic illuminated the bedroom and after a second her powers flared up. Grey wrapped around green, accompanied by blue and red. Emil could feel how his magic merged with that of his friends, and though the drain was noticeable, the boy realized that their combined strength was enough for the task at hand.

The changes were slow and almost unnoticeable at first. Minutes would pass in which he would channel his magic into his sister but throughout the blinding light he could eventually make out the first adjustments to the statue. The cold grey of the stoney skin began to change as small cracks appeared all over the arms and legs. It would take a lot longer but once the statue had started to develop cracks, there was no stopping anymore. Emil watched in fascination as the first smaller pieces fell off and what was revealed underneath stole his breath. 

Pale skin peeked out from underneath the stone. 

Emil seemed to not have been the only one to notice as Kainé’s hold on his hand intensified. They forced more of their own energy into the body and though Emil started to develop a headache, he didn’t stop for even a second. His sister’s eyes were closed as she was diligent in her rewriting. Emil couldn’t imagine the tremendous stress she must have been under as she changed the future for every single pebble and cell. Halua gritted her teeth, her brows furrowed and yet she pushed on through. She used all of their magic to do the unimaginable. 

She was creating a human body. 

After what had felt like an eternity the statue began to fall apart much quicker. Bigger parts of stones cracked open and the body it slowly revealed was one similar to Nier’s and yet… different. It seemed a bit more bulkier, a contrast to Nier’s slim form. But the resemblance was uncanny. Even this new body would remain as a connection between the two of them. 

Eventually the final parts of the statue would fall away, leaving behind the body of a young adult. There were no differences between their created work and their own shapes. As far as Emil could tell, the body that laid in front of them was as real as the one that belonged to him. With a low groan Halua pulled her hand away and Weiss was there to catch her before she could have fallen to the ground. She looked exhausted and weak, but when her eyes opened Emil knew that she would be okay. Kainé covered the naked body with a blanket and together they began to wait. 

Shade had to do the rest for them. 

It took quite a while until something began to happen. Emil had taken a seat on the bed so he was the first to notice the faint glow. From Nier’s chest a faint golden light began to pulsate in what looked like a heartbeat. The light, though hesitant, began its journey from Nier’s chest over to his arm and hand. Emil held his breath as the moment they had all waited for finally came. The weak light merged from Nier’s hand onto that of the new body and Emil watched as it travelled to the new chest. It seeped into the skin and though Emil could no longer see it, he knew that Shade had reached his destination.

The body, that had so far been unresponsive and pale, began to breathe as some color returned to its face. 

Their reaction was immediate. Emil raised his arms into the air with a scream of victory. Kainé huffed with satisfaction while Weiss and Halua, still exhausted from their work, merely smiled and cheered. Though his friends were a bit quieter, Emil’s excitement more than made up for it. 

So when Nier opened his blue eyes, he was greeted by Emil throwing himself at him. 

“We did it!” Emil cried out as tears streamed down his cheeks. The relief, pride and happiness he felt were unmatched. Nier barely managed to sit up with Emil clinging to him but the smaller boy didn’t even try to make his partner’s life easier by assisting. 

“Woah there, Emil, calm down!”

Leaning back just enough to cup Nier’s face, Emil pulled him into a clumsy kiss before he quickly climbed off again. He hurried back over to the other side of the bed where Kainé was already sitting. Halua and Weiss joined them as they looked over Kainé’s shoulder and together they held their breath.

“Shade?” 

At first, nothing happened. Moments passed in which nobody moved. But after what seemed like an eternity, the new body’s fingers twitched. It was slow at first and Emil wondered if he had imagined it. Though the others edging closer confirmed his suspicions.

And when golden eyes would eventually flutter open, Shade would be greeted by the warm welcomes of his friends.

Chapter Text

Shielding his eyes from the brilliant sun, Shade sighed heavily as he stepped through the heavy gates made of stones. His back hurt slightly but when a small hand wrapped around his arm, he still managed to smile.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” the young man replied when his self proclaimed doctor scrutinized him. After another staring contest Halua finally believed him and let go of his arm so she could run over to Kainé. The woman had been waiting outside while they had returned the little prince to his people, saying how she’d rather stay away from bigger places such as this one.

“There you are finally. Five minutes my ass, you’ve been in there for fucking hours.” Kainé grumbled as she pushed herself off a nearby rock. It was unfair, really. While the burning hot sun of the desert tortured him in and out, it almost seemed like Kainé and Halua were spared by its heat. Maybe it was because his body was still new and though Emil had warned him not to overdo it in the first few weeks, Shade had left the village just a month ago. Together, the three of them had been travelling for a while until rumors of Facade’s prince having gone missing had reached them. After an annoying day spent in a weird shrine-like place they had finally found the young guy and had returned him to his people. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault!” Shade shot back defensively. “They wanted to repay us but they had to go through dozens of formalities because of those stupid rules. Halua and I were just waiting for a moment to excuse ourselves, you can’t fault us for being polite.”

Thankfully, Halua decided to humor him enough to nod along. “Though we could have made it back sooner if Shade hadn’t argued with a shopkeeper for such a long time.”

He took it back. Of course Halua would stab his back the moment she had the chance. Narrowing his eyes, Shade watched as the girl sauntered behind Kainé as if to use her as a shield. Ever since they had begun their adventure Shade had noticed how Halua had become more and more open, even acting like a girl her age in some moments. It never ceased to warm his heart. Now that Emil was in a good place the girl allowed herself to live her own life and every smile and laughter was evident of this. 

Kainé stared at him with a blunt look. “Fucking really? I had to wait because you wanted to go on a goddamn shopping spree?”

“It wasn’t that…” Shade mumbled but there was no way he could excuse his reddening neck with the sun. He sighed and reached into his bag, revealing an old leather strap with a pendant in the form of a white flower. Dusting it off a little, Shade held it out for the woman to see. He kept his eyes glued to the ground and sighed. 

“Since you lost your Lunar Tear… I thought you could use a replacement… I don’t even know if you’re one for accessories, let alone a necklace but…”

Shade looked up when he felt the weight of the necklace disappear. Kainé was standing a lot closer now and she inspected the gift before raising her brow. “You got this… for me?”

Well, now he felt even more embarrassed. With his heart racing Shade finally dropped his shoulders and simply nodded. “If you don’t like it, I can—”

“Fuck off, it’s mine.” she immediately said before walking away. Halua was called over and Shade watched as Kainé kneeled down so the girl could help her put the necklace on. His heart skipped a beat though he knew to hide his smile when Kainé glared into his direction.

“Move your ass already. I wanna get the fuck out of this stupid desert.” 

Though her words were harsh, Shade could hear the softening tone. He quickly caught up with his two team members and crossed his arms behind his head as they headed to their next destination. 

And even when Kainé told him to wipe that smile off his face, Shade continued to grin. 

After decades of loneliness, he had finally found his place in this world. 

With an exhausted groan Nier carried the last of the boxes inside the house. He wiped some sweat off his forehead and rubbed his back in a weak attempt to get rid of the upcoming cramps. A side glance was shot the culprit’s way who, for having insisted on bringing so many items with himself, had carried suspiciously little. 

But it wasn’t like Nier could say anything. While he had dragged all of Emil’s belongings upstairs, his friend and sister had been busy decorating his new room. The two boys had decided to move into his parent’s old bedroom together as it had the most space out of all the rooms in their little house. Nier would still keep his clothes and items in his old room while Emil would spread himself out in their shared bedroom. 

And surprisingly, the smaller boy had decided to take half of the manor with him.

Books, music sheets, clothes, potted plants… The list went on and on. Though Nier had reminded Emil that the manor wouldn’t just disappear, his friend had insisted on these items regardless. So here they were, a month after their group had split, moving in together.

Nier thought this was one of the best days of his life. 

Ever since he and Shade had been separated Nier had felt a weird and deep loneliness. After sharing his body for quite a while he had grown accustomed to another voice and emotions that had never belonged to him. The first few weeks had been the worst. Like a form of phantom pain his chest had started hurting at random times and only when Emil had pulled him against his chest, allowing him to listen to another heartbeat, had Nier found enough peace to calm himself. Based on the letters Halua had sent them through Sebastian Shade had been in a similar position at first. And though their friends leaving had pained every one of them, in the end it had been a decision for the better. Without Shade around Nier had started to heal, and even Emil who had cried the first few nights without Halua had eventually grown used to it. The twins were still exchanging letters every couple days and thus it had never felt like they had truly gone their separate ways. They were still connected by their hearts, no matter the distance. 

With a small smile Nier listened to Emil and Yonah argue about the best spot for his potted Lunar Tears. With Nier needing the front garden for vegetables Emil was forced to keep his numbers of flowers to a minimum. 

Judging by the cheers of his sister, Nier guessed that Yonah had won their little argument. 

“I told you she was stubborn.” he said with a smirk as Emil entered their shared bedroom. His friend fell onto the bed with an exaggerated sigh, his face covered by his arm. “How ever am I going to live in the same place as two bullheadedly people! It’s unfair, you two outnumber me by a million!”

Snorting in amusement, Nier sat down on the bed to lean over his partner. He could see Emil peeking at him but the moment his friend had locked eyes with him, he quickly hid behind his arm again. 

“By a million, huh?” Nier repeated as he pulled Emil’s hand away. His friend whined for a moment but the following kiss seemed to make up for it. “You’ll get used to it, I’m sure. Now come on, move your lazy bum. We still got several boxes to unpack before dinner time.” 

Nier got up from the bed and pulled Emil with him. His arm wrapped around the other’s waist and though he had just told them to hurry, the villager sure took his time admiring his partner. 

“What are the plans for tomorrow?” Emil asked conversationally as hands found their way into white hair. Nier hummed in approvement as fingers massaged his scalp, and his own thumbs drew circles on the other’s waist. 

“I got a few job offers from Popola for which I have to travel to Seafront… I will probably have to stay for a day or two with the amount of work I have to do so I asked Weiss to look after Yonah tomorrow.”

Cocking his head, Emil looked at him with a small smile. Nier could feel his heart squeeze at the sight alone. He would never grow tired of holding his partner. 

“Do you plan on going by yourself? I heard it’s dangerous to cross the Silent Forest all alone. A scary monster lives in those woods.” Emil’s voice was playful, and though he tried to hide his grin he was unsuccessful. Nier decided to play along as he tapped his chin, seemingly in deep thought.

“Damn, I fear you have a point… If that monster finds me it’s gonna swallow me whole. I guess I will have to ask my knight to come with me…” Closing the distance, Nier rubbed their noses together. 

“Too bad Kainé isn’t in town right now.”

The punch against his shoulder was expected but Nier still broke into laughter. Before Emil could start pouting again he quickly tightened his hold on his partner’s waist, pulling him close until their chests touched.

 “My dearest Emil, would you please accompany me to Seafront and help me with my jobs?”

Emil managed to pout for one more second before he began to chuckle. Arms returned to his neck and when Nier was pulled down into a kiss, he was greeted by a smile. 

“I’d accompany you to the end of the world if you’d ask.”

Nier had been young when he had first found out about the cruelty of their universe. He had been young when he had been forced to learn that the world he lived in didn’t care about him.

But maybe that was alright.

Maybe it was enough if he cared about its people instead. Because a world that had given him his family and friends couldn’t be all that bad.