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It takes Ricky exactly two weeks to start moving on from Nini.
He knew where it was going as soon as they entered the old treehouse they used to play in as kids. If he was being honest with himself he knew where it was going as soon as they decided to go there, and if he were being really honest with himself he would have admitted that he saw it coming since they had gotten back together.
However he wasn’t honest with himself until that honestly was placed upon him from the surprising comfort of his mother.
He hadn’t wanted to talk to her, especially not after everything they had been through. He would have been perfectly fine continuing to ignore her and not speak to her. But here they were, sitting across from each other after she had called saying she wanted to see him.
“I heard you and Nini broke up.”
He rolled his eyes.
“Great starter, mom.” The look on her face made him immediately feel bad.
“I’m sorry,” he started “yea, we did.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Do you want to talk about why?”
He shrugged, still not understanding it much himself.
“I don’t know. Said something about me needing to deal with my own issues and that she needed space. Whatever that means.”
“Needing space?” his mom asked.
“Yea, she said it’s not healthy how much I freak out over her changing things in her life and that she felt like we needed to be apart. That we didn’t work. That we maybe never did.”
His mom was quiet as he tried to rub away the tears forming in eyes.
“Do you think maybe she was right?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I don’t even know why I cared so much about her changing. I just …. I want everything to stay the same. Everything stays the same and nothing bad happens. So much has changed already and no more needs to.”
The look on his mom's face makes him want to shrink into himself and hide away from her. He doesn’t want her pity.
“Baby, I think maybe you need to realize change can be a good thing. I think you’re scared of change because of what happened with me and dad and I understand that. We haven’t been the best parents as of late and I’m starting to really realize that.”
She gets closer to him on the couch they’re on, grabbing his hands when the tears start freely falling.
“Let me give you some advice, alright? I told you before not all couples are meant to be and it’s true. Your dad and I are both so much happier now. And you will be too. Accepting this change can lead you to so many new things in your life that are good.”
She hugged him, and he fell into her holding her tight.
Maybe she was right. He had wanted to stop change so badly. Even Big Red was telling him he was so much different now that they broke up. That he was back to the Ricky that he knows. That this obsession he clearly had with Nini was making him lose any thought that wasn’t her. He had shook it off at first telling Big Red it wasn’t true.
But maybe it was? Maybe that was something he needed to see. That it wasn’t so much his obsession with Nini but maybe his obsession with change. His mom being the one to help him realize that, however, was not what he expected.
He looked up at his mom, truly smiling at her for a first time in a year.
“Thank you. I love you, mom.”
The teary smile on her face was enough to make him want to start crying all over again.
“I love you too. You’re welcome, and I promise I’ll be around more. I’m sorry I didn't realize what was wrong sooner.”
He removed himself from the hug a few minutes after that, wiping the tears from his face.
“And like I said, you never know where life is going to take you. Accepting it and the change that comes with can mean so many things you never would have expected before.”
Ricky smiled. She was right. He didn’t know where life was going to take him or what was next for him but he knew that whatever change was coming for once, he could learn to accept it.
He’s at his lunch period when that change happens. One second he’s getting ready to start eating and the next he hears a laugh, instantly recognizing it as Gina. Before he can even think about it his head is lifting up following the laugh he heard and smile faltered seeing the reason she seemed to be laughing.
EJ was sitting next to her, arm around her shoulders. He was making another joke he couldn’t quite hear from where Ricky was but Gina had obviously found it funny, tilting her head back to let out another laugh.
“Since when did Gina and EJ get so close?” it’s out of his mouth before he even realizes he said it.
Big Red arches an eyebrow from where he’s sat in front of him, turning around to look at them for a moment before turning back.
“Uh…. I don’t know. They’ve been pretty close since Carlos’ Quinceañero.”
Right.
Good for them.
Well, that’s what he told himself he was thinking, but the creeping annoyance clouding his mind told him otherwise. How did they get so close? Close enough to for his arms to be around her and to be sitting that closely?
Why didn’t he notice before how close they had become? Was he so blinded by trying to make his relationship work that he completely was oblivious to what was going on around him?
“Dude, I can literally hear you thinking so hard right now.”
Big Red’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He turned his gaze away from Gina and EJ, noticing the questioning look on his face.
“What?”
“What do you mean “what” why are you glaring daggers into EJ right now?”
Ricky spluttered, moving his hands around frantically.
“What are you talking about I’m literally just looking at them.”
“Uh, I don’t think looking like you’re a cross between throwing up and wanting to murder someone is exactly just looking at someone.”
Ricky scoffed, “dude I’m literally just looking at them I was just wondering why I didn’t notice they got so close.”
Big Red raised an eyebrow.
“Why do you even care that they are in the first place- oh .”
Big Red fell silent.
It was Ricky’s turn to raise an eyebrow.
“What do you mean “oh”?
The knowing smile on Big Red’s face made his stomach churn. How many more things is he going to be left out of knowing?
Ricky watched as the smile stayed on his face even as he got up and grabbed his lunch tray. He took one last look at Ricky
“Absolutely nothing, but just text me when you realize.”
“Realize what ? Dude, what are you on about?”
Completely ignoring him, Big Red started to walk away.
“I have to call Ashlyn, I’ll talk to you later.
Big Red walked off, leaving Ricky incredibly confused. Shaking it off, he looked down at his food preparing to actually start eating before lunch ended, but the nagging feeling that he needs to look at Gina and EJ was back and before he could help himself he looks up at them again. EJ’s arm was no longer around her anymore but they were still sitting closely. EJ was whispering something to her that made her tilt her head back and let out a loud laugh.
A thought ran through Ricky’s mind.
Could they be....?
Ricky shook his head quickly, snapping himself out of it. There was no way. Gina would never like a guy like EJ and besides, she didn’t do dates.
However, a voice was still nagging in the back of mind.
Why do you care so much if they were?
He told himself he didn’t. Because he didn’t ! He was just caught off guard. Who cares if they are close now? He was happy Gina has so many close friends now.
Okay, maybe he did care.
That was the first thing he thought after he got done texting EJ. The texting had been completely fine at first. It was a discussion on where to have the “how to outdo North High” boys sleepover. Ricky had told them to text once they had figured it out and EJ had texted him to say they decided on the Big Red’s family’s pizza shop
Ricky thought that would be the end of their conversation texting a quick “sounds good” and leaving it at that (he wasn’t sure why he didn’t really want to talk to EJ but he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that if he thought about it too hard he may realize why), but that wasn’t all there was too it. He looked down at the text history on his phone he had been staring at for the past five minutes.
ricky:
sounds good
ej:
cool
ej:
also i told the rest of the guys this already but i’ll be a little late bc im dropping gina off at the girls sleepover
ricky:
doesn’t she live with ashlyn why isn’t her mom taking both of them
ej:
gina’s staying behind bc she wants to surprise them with cupcakes and doesn’t want ash to know either so she made up some excuse about needing to help me with something before she goes
ricky:
yea whatever man
ej:
dude what’s with the attitude ur the one that asked
ricky:
sorry see u tomorrow
Ricky cringed looking at the last few texts again. He hadn’t meant to sound rude but he had already typed it and hit send before he even realized what he was doing. It was just kind of annoying. Yeah, he had asked but since when was EJ the only one Gina came to for help? Ricky was right there too and he thought maybe he was the closest person to her. He could have easily helped if she asked.
You were the closest person to her. You haven’t had a conversation that lasted more than a minute in weeks.
Thanks, brain.
Okay, yes they hadn’t talked that much lately. But EJ? Really? That’s who is going to replace him?
Ricky stopped.
Replace me?
What did that even mean?
Ricky had decided a few moments after that that maybe just not thinking about whatever his mind was trying to tell him was the best decision. Deciding he just put on his headphones, he listened to music to drown out his thoughts until he fell asleep.
Now, it was 7pm the next day and he watched as EJ had walked through the door with a cupcake in his right hand.
Ricky could feel his eye twitch.
They had been watching a movie before he walked in. They had known they should be focusing on how to outdo North High but the sleepover was quickly becoming just a chance for all of them to hang out, playing games and eating as much pizza as possible.
Ricky would be lying if he was saying he wasn’t waiting for EJ to finally walk through the door but now that he was there with that cupcake in his hand he almost wished he would walk straight back out. But no, he greeted the rest of the boys while they yelled hi back before going back to the movie they were watching.
It was just his luck that EJ had decided to sit right next to Ricky.
“Hey, dude.” EJ turned to him, smiling before taking a bite out of the cupcake he had in his hand.
“Hey,” Ricky had started and honestly that was all he was going to say before he, once again, said the first thing that came to his mind.
“Nice cupcake.”
EJ turned to him again, raising an eyebrow.
“Uh, I would say thanks but the slightly mocking tone I’m hearing from your voice kind of wants to make me say otherwise.”
Ricky scoffed.
“There is no tone.”
“There is very clearly a tone.”
“Well, you can believe what you want.”
They stared at each other for a moment. EJ looked like he had wanted to say something else but deciding against it, turning his head to the movie they were watching instead.
It took about twelve minutes for things to hit the ceiling.
It came in the form of a text. EJ’s phone was sitting next to him and really, Ricky probably should have minded his business but instead of doing that he did exactly the opposite. He looked down at the text, freezing at the sight of Gina’s name on the notification
Gina:
hope u like the cupcake thx for driving me again ❤️
He watched as EJ picked up his phone smiling at the text. The smile staying on his face as he texted Gina back could honestly make him sick. Holding his tongue as much as he could Ricky turned away not wanting to witness anymore of it.
Why did he feel like this? Was he really this upset at Gina having friends closer than he was to her? He was happy for her. He was. He never felt like this when it came to Ashlyn or Kourt so why now? Why did he feel the urge to punch EJ straight in-
“Where did you get that scarf from? I don’t remember seeing you wearing it?”
The sound of Carlos’ voice stopped his thoughts and he realized quickly he was talking to EJ. EJ beamed.
“I made it myself after a few classes from Gina.”
Ricky froze.
Taught him? Ricky’s mind flashbacks to his and Gina’s ride to Ashlyn’s Thanksgiving party last year. They had been talking about the hat she had knit him and he had told her that she was talented and that he’d love to learn to knit and that’s where she told him that she’d teach him to knit. She never got the chance because …. Well, what happened happened and then they never ended up doing it after she came back. She decided to teach EJ?
“She,” Ricky started, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice as much as possible “taught you?”
“Yea, she’s so talented she was talking to me about how she learned from youtube videos-.”
“Yea, I know. She’s talked to me about it many times before.”
This time the bitterness was clear as day.
You could hear a coin drop with the silence that followed from them all after that. They sat there in silence for a few seconds no one knowing what to say and where Ricky’s outburst even came from. Not even Ricky knew himself.
EJ suddenly stood, clearly annoyed. He grabbed Ricky’s arm pulling him up and started walking away with him.
“Be right back.”
Ricky struggled out of his grasp all the way to the secluded area EJ brought them to.
“Alright, what’s your deal?”
“What do you mean what's my deal you’re the one that just dragged me out of there, against my will by the way!”
EJ rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, and you’re the one that’s been acting like an asshole since last night.”
Ricky was about to retort with a friendly choice of words before EJ’s phone went off again.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” was out of Ricky’s mouth before he could stop and at that moment he realized maybe he really needed to learn when to shut up.
EJ stared at him, the puzzle pieces quickly connecting.
“Is that what the problem is? Gina?”
Ricky was quick.
“No idea what you’re talking about.”
“Ok, so if I were to answer this text right now you wouldn’t try to bite off my head.”
“You can do whatever you want? I don’t care!”
EJ raised an eyebrow.
“Clearly.”
“I don’t! We all get it you’re besties! Good for you! I still don’t care! You could be dating for all I care really-“
He stopped himself. Where had that come from?
At that moment the last puzzle piece clicked for EJ
“Oh my god you’re jealous.”
“What?” Ricky could hear that his voice was lot higher than he wanted it to be.
“I’m not at all.”
“Dude I’m not dating Gina that would be so weird but honestly it’s a little messed up to be jealous after what you did to her. I mean she poured her heart out to you and you completely ignored it but now you’re jealous?”
“I just said I’m not jealous- what?”
“You heard me. Don’t play dumb-“
“I’m not playing dumb,” Ricky cut him off quickly “I have no idea what you’re talking about. When did she ever pour her heart out to me?”
“Gina literally told me she told you after opening night that she basically wouldn’t give up on you if she hadn’t left and you completely ignored it.”
Opening night? The conversation they had? That was just a goodbye wasn’t it? She wanted to tell him that she wouldn’t give up on them but she meant that platonically didn’t she? She had to have meant it like that.
“No. She meant it in a friendly way.”
EJ groaned at that.
“Oh god, dude you really didn’t realize?”
Ricky felt his world was closing in on him. She meant that she liked him?
He felt sick.
All the memories from the last few months started haunting him. Him, completely not realizing she liked him. Him, going to her for Nini advice again and again the entire time while she liked him. The thought of Gina thinking he knew that but continued to do that to her.
And what if you knew she liked you? Would you like her back?
Did he?
Oh
Oh God
He was jealous. He…. he liked Gina. Wanted to spend all the time EJ was spending with her. Wanted to learn to knit with her. Wanted her to make him a cupcake after he dropped her off. Wanted to wrap his arm around her and make her laugh so hard she couldn’t breathe like he used to. Wanted to text her in the middle of a sleepover and exchange texts that made his insides flutter and a smile not able to leave his face.
A hand grabbed his arm.
“You look like you’re going to be sick, are you good?”
“Not really considering I just realized my feelings for a girl I’ve been treating like shit without even realizing it.”
They sat in silence for a moment.
“I need to talk to her.” Ricky took out his phone.
EJ stopped him quickly, grabbing the phone out of his hand.
“No, if you say something now you’ll probably mess it up. Wait on it. Think about what you want to say first before you say something stupid.”
Everything in Ricky was telling him to completely ignore what EJ was saying and grab his phone and call her as soon as possible. To apologize and to hopefully …..to hopefully …. he didn't know what he wanted to say. EJ was right.
“You’re right.”
“Always am.”
Ricky rolled his eyes.
“I’m sorry for acting like an ass.”
EJ looked up.
“It’s alright. I’ve definitely felt that jealousy before.”
Ricky thought back to that phone incident and laughed before suddenly remembering something Big Red had said to him.
“Absolutely nothing, but just text me when you realize.”
He smiled. He grabbed his phone out of EJ’s hand.
“I’ve got to talk to Big Red.” He started to walk away wanting to head to where Big Red was sitting before the sound of EJ’s voice stopped him.
“Dude, one last thing. Don’t mess it up with Gina. She’ll probably kill me for telling you this but she’s even thinking about moving to get away from all of this. Also, I gave you that advice so you don’t mess it up with her for a second time. Seriously, think about what you want to say because if she tells me she’s upset because of something you did again I can’t promise I won’t punch you in the face.”
Leaving? He couldn’t let that happen. Ricky nodded. Honestly, if he were to mess it up with Gina again he’d probably punch himself in the face.
He started walking away again, two words playing over and over again in his mind.
Second Chances.
Okay, so it turns out Ricky didn’t actually know what to say at all. He had practiced several speeches in the mirror and still couldn’t figure out what to say. So here he was now, after their opening night searching the school hallway for Gina. When he walked into the same quiet hallway in search of her after asking EJ if he knew where she was with the “just say what comes from your heart” approach it was safe to say he was terrified.
When he spotted her she had his back turned to him on her phone.
Now or never
“Gina?”
She jumped.
You absolute idiot nice way to start out your love confession.
“Ah, sorry.” His voice died in his throat. She looked so pretty, with the costume makeup still on but in her regular clothes. God, how the hell was he going to do this.
“Yes?” Her voice was short, clearly not wanting to speak to him.
“Uh, just wanted to say hi.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“Honestly Ricky I know you and Nini broke up but if that’s what you’re going to ask me about can it wait because honestly I don’t want to hear it.”
He wanted to hit himself. This was not going the way he wanted to go and of course she would think that considering it’s the only reason they talked lately.
He had no idea what to say as they stared at each other for a few minutes before she started to walk away. He had to do something quick.
No, Gina, that's not why I wanted to talk. Please I just…”
His next words shocked even him.
“Don’t leave.”
The startled look on Gina’s face was enough to make Ricky want to hit himself in the head. He had wanted to wait to slowly build up to that.
Nice going, Bowen. You might have well just shouted that you were in love with her out of nowhere while you’re at it.
Gina looked like she was a deer caught in headlights, but composed herself quickly.
“Um, how do you know I was thinking about leaving?”
“Uh, EJ told me.”
EJ is going to kill him for that especially considering the annoyance on her face was obvious.
“Look, Ricky I’m not sure why you’re here or what EJ told you but it really doesn’t matter. Let’s just talk later or something. I have to give give my costume to Kourt.”
Ricky watched as she walked away. Again.
Come on, Bowen
“Wait!”
She stopped, turning to him. Her face was blank and she stood about six feet from him.
“Please, just. Hear me out?”
She stood. A moment later, a silent nod.
“Hold on. Let me just- let me say this first. I’m sorry. I feel like that should be the first thing to say. I’m sorry that I’ve been so inconsiderate of how you’ve been feeling. I just want you to know that I had no idea you meant- you meant that you liked me when you told me you’d never give up on us last year.
I had no idea you felt that way and it was unfair of me to ask you about Nini. We were supposed to understand each other best and I failed you on that. I was so focused on Nini that I couldn’t even tell what was upsetting you anymore. I’m so sorry, Gina and I would understand if you never wanted to talk to me again. Just don’t leave. Especially not because of me-“
The slight sniffling stopped him from speaking. The tears coming out of her eyes were obvious even if she seemed to be quickly rubbing them away.
Oh God, she’s crying.
Did he really fuck it up that badly? Maybe he should have used one of the serval speeches he had practiced instead of on the spot after all.
“Gina, I’m so sorry-“
“No.”
The space between grew shorter.
“I’m not sad. It’s just… this is what I’ve wanted to hear from you for so long.” She smiles at him.
He smiled back, letting out a breath. He didn’t fuck it up. For once.
“I just… don’t leave? Please. You said you wouldn’t give up on us and I want you to know I won’t give up on you. On us. And if you still feel the same, I’m willing to do anything to prove it.”
“You? You like me too?” She said it like she couldn’t believe it and he wanted to call EJ and come tell him maybe punching him is actually quite deserved. For now he settled on being as truthful as possible.
“I always have. I didn’t realize it as soon as I should have and I think part of me always wanted to go back to how we were. I just didn’t know how to do it without ….without us going back to how we were which I now know was never just friends.”
Gina nodded, smiling slightly.
“I don’t think we can ever be just friends, Gi.”
Her mouth hung open slightly at that, clearly trying to think of what to say.
“I don’t think we can ever just be friends either.” is what she finally settled on.
“I had already been planning on not leaving, by the way.” is the next thing she said and that was the sign Ricky needed. He closed the distance between them even more, barely a foot between them. He looked into her eyes, eyes visibly softening.
God, they're so pretty. How was he so stupid.
“Can I hug you?”
She smiled.
“Yes.”
Their last hug was months before this and was one of the most painful memories he’s ever had. At that time he felt like he’d never see her again, and he didn’t think he would. Neither of them did. It was a goodbye hug. A “I’m never going to see this girl that I have feelings for and clearly don’t realize it” hug. Now it was different. It was hopeful. She wasn’t leaving. He knew he had feelings for her. That he wanted to be with her, and he hoped she still did too.
“When I had told you to say it,” he started, letting go and backing up slightly but still holding onto her “I think I wanted you to tell me you liked me right then and there. And I don’t know what I would have done if you did and it’s probably a good thing that it didn’t happen.”
She nodded, urging him to continue.
“But if you were to give me a second chance, I promise I’ll treat that second chance as best as I can. You were the one who said you never do anything right the first time. This will be the second time, if you want it to be. Do you?”
He held his breath.
The smile that broke out on her face took his breath away.
“I do.”
He laughed, hugging her again and spinning her just like he did after they performed the song to get Miss Jenn her job back. He put her down, touching her forehead to his. They stood there for a moment, silent just holding each other.
“Second chance, Gi?” he whispered.
“Second chance, Bowen.” she whispered back.
Ricky didn’t know a lot in life, but accepting change and taking a chance is quickly, he realized, becoming the thing he’s needed most.