Work Text:
Shall I tell someone about this miserable sadness?
— Kotringo; Rieko Miyoshi
The room was dark yet familiar when Megumi made his way inside.
His bare feet felt the coldness of the sterile floor with each quiet step and he had to suppress a shiver. It was too quiet and cold, he thought. But he continued his pace until he's reached the very center of the room.
Megumi pauses in his step once his face is only inches away from a tall, white curtain that hung ominously around whatever it was that lay at the other side of the room, hiding it from Megumi's sight. Something akin to dread began to stir at the very pit of his stomach from the eeriness of the room and the suffocating silence that seemed to weight heavily around him. But something was compelling Megumi to check, to see what was on the other side of the curtain.
A second ticks by before Megumi's able to steals his nerves. Slowly, with trembling hands and a bated breath, he reaches forward to the cotton fabric and began to lift it.
The view that greeted him was nothing short of horrific.
There, right in the middle of the room, was a hospital bed. And lying on top of it was his sister.
His stupidly kind and pitiful older sister.
Tsumiki looked older as she laid so still and motionless on the white mattress, a lot older than what Megumi remembered last. Wrinkles decorated her forehead and exposed arms, and her cheeks looked sunken and hollowed, as if she hadn't been fed for days. Her lips looked cracked and her eyes were still closed shut. The passage of time had not been kind to her, it seems.
Megumi couldn't bring himself to call out her name.
He couldn't even breathe. His chest ached and protested with every uneven breath he took, because looking at Tsumiki hurt, it always did. But looking at this Tsumiki hurts even more than usual. Because this Tsumiki looked so much worse. And it's all Megumi's fault. If only he was stronger, if only he had listened—
He stops himself from continuing those thoughts any further. It wouldn't do him any good.
He had to get away from this place, Megumi thought as tried to calm his racing heart down. He tries to take a few calming breaths to steady his breathing, and with each shaky exhale, he began to notice how his breath kept fogging up.
The room was getting colder and the silence was deafening at this point.
The panic in Megumi's breathing only worsened when he started to notice even stranger things about this room and the Tsumiki that slept in front of him. His eyes trailed after her too thin arms and the different wires and tubes that were connected to her sides. And as his gaze began to lift back up to her face, he saw movement from the corner of his eyes. Shifting quickly to follow the movement, his gaze locks to the long, ebony hair that cascaded around Tsumiki's head and flowed over the edge if the bed.
Her hair was growing abnormally fast, Megumi realized when the dark tresses started tumbling out of the mattress. It landed heavily to the floor and quickly started making its way towards Megumi.
Everything happened too fast for him to react right away. Megumi had stood completely frozen until the tips of Tsumiki's hair began to gather and coil around his arms and legs like veins. He tries to break free from its hold, but Its grip only tightened even more when he starts to tug and pull.
He wants to scream, but no sound comes out.
His body is now completely covered and he can't move or breathe or feel anything except for the biting cold.
His vision stars to fade and he blinks his eyes to keep them focused long enough for his gaze to land on Tsumiki's unconscious figure once more. Her serene expression does nothing to quell the fear and guilt festering inside his chest. He did this was the only thing he could think of, even as the walls began to crumble and the room was slowly enveloped in darkness.
He has failed his sister.
Because he was weak.
Because he was stupid and reckless.
Because he was not enough.
Megumi wrapped himself up into a tight ball and continued to blame himself until nothing from the hospital room was left.
Megumi wakes up with a start. His eyes are glazed and his cheeks are damp and he rubs at them furiously, willing his hands to stop trembling. He does his best to even out his breathing just like how Ieiri taught him all those years ago, but it still takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to finally calm himself down. Once his heartrate is no longer going over 100 beats per second, he slowly sinks back down to the warm covers of his duvet, grimacing when he felt how uncomfortable his shirt's sticking to his skin from the cold sweat.
Too tired to change out of his old clothes, Megumi made no move to get out of the bed and continued to snuggle deeper until his nose was buried in the warmth of his favorite blanket.
It was just a nightmare, he reminds himself, trying desperately to shake off the remaining jitters. It would do him absolutely no good if he continued to let something as childish as a nightmare affect him this much. He wasn't a kid anymore and Tsumiki wasn't going to be there to comfort him and hold his hand. No one was.
Biting the bottom of his lips to keep it from trembling, Megumi wills himself to go back to sleep.
It's only when his third attempt failed did he realize that the eerie silence from his nightmare was from the absent beeping of Tsumiki's heart monitor.
He stops trying to fall asleep after that.
It's been three weeks and the same nightmare has been plaguing his dreams every single night without end. Once again, Megumi wakes with a muffled scream while his heart palpitated inside his ribcage painfully. Exhaustion weights heavily over him and he had to physically drag his body out of his bed when his alarm rang for the seventh time that morning.
At this point, Megumi was way past the realms of tiredness and nothing in his body felt right anymore. His eyelids could barely focus and stay open and there's been a constant ache at the back of his head that would throb whenever he tried to move too fast. He’s been even more irritable and prone to lash out at anyone who looked at him for more than a few seconds. Gojo was the first one to comment about his rapidly changing demeanor and was also the first one to receive a mouthful of poorly concealed insults lashed out to his face from the younger.
To say that his friends were worried about his well being was an understatement. But Megumi was quick to brush off all their offers to open up and talk about what's been happening to him with a glare and a short "I'm fine, really."
There was absolutely no way he was going to admit just how much a nightmare was able to render him sleepless for weeks. Not to Itadori's kind smile or Kugisaki's encouraging gaze. His friends didn't need to worry about him and Megumi would make sure they never have to.
So he tried all sorts of things to keep the nightmares at bay. He read through different books and articles to look for a way to fall sleep faster and longer. He even went as far as to watch those super sketchy youtube videos about hypnosis until late at night to try and get some much needed sleep. He's tried using charms and talismans to no avail. Hell, he even started drinking warm milk before going to bed for the past five days. But nothing worked, no matter how much he tried, he always ends up waking up in sweat soaked clothes and an all too familiar tremble in his hands.
It was only a matter of time before Megumi's exhaustion causes him to slip. It only takes one wrong move for a sorcerer to loose his life in a fight, and Megumi has seen more than enough deaths in his life to know that he's threading on thin ice if he doesn't find a way to stop the nightmares from haunting his dreams.
But he's exhausted everything in his vicinity and nothing works.
He's desperate enough to even consider telling Gojo, but not enough to actually seek him out.
He could handle this alone for one more day, Megumi thought stubbornly.
Getting up to for a quick shower was a painfully slow ordeal but Megumi was nothing if not determined to continue on with his training. Sorcerers like him didn't have the luxury to stay in bed and rest while there were curses to exorcise and older sisters to cure, no matter how tired and restless he's been for the past three weeks.
Gojo was reluctant to send him on the mission with Itadori and Kugisaki, but it only took one hard glare from Megumi for the six eyes to relent and let him tag along. They were assigned to exorcise a possible special grade that's been roaming around an abandoned warehouse near the Tokyo bay.
The mission was pretty straight forward: get in, exorcise the curse, get out. And Megumi wanted to believe that he's more than capable of taking care of himself while he supported his teammates against a possible special grade. He would be able to provide cover for Itadori and Kugisaki if he kept his focus and ignored the growing weariness in his limbs.
Of course that's exactly when things went wrong.
It only took one second. A single moment of hesitance from Megumi's movement was all the curse needed in order to catch everyone off guard with a powerful howl that knocked both Itadori and Kugisaki unconscious.
The piercing sound was enough to send Megumi flying right across the floor where his back collided painfully to the concrete wall, knocking the air from his lungs and causing his vision to blur.
His head throbbed painfully with every breath he took and Megumi was sure he tasted blood every time he tried to swallow down the bile that threatened to rise from his throat. Fighting off the nausea and the unbearable urge to pass out, Megumi held his ground and tried to summon one of his shikigamis for assistance.
Using his powers only made him wince form the exertion. He wouldn't be able to summon anything at this point, he realized.
He was going to die was the first thing he thought when his gaze slowly shifted to the slowly approaching curse. It looked like it already made the same conclusion as Megumi if the widening grin on his grotesque face was anything to go by.
The curse was only a few meters away now and Megumi was powerless to do anything to stop it.
His eyelids were already dropping from exhaustion by the time the curse was in front of him, it's sharp claws positioned to strike Megumi's heart in a single swing. Bracing himself for the impending impact, Megumi closed his eyes and thought about Tsumiki.
He wouldn't be able to see her open her eyes anymore. He wouldn't even be able to apologize or tell her just how much he's missed her. He really was just a burden to her until the end.
Megumi just hopes Itadori and Kugisaki would be able to survive this fight. If anyone deserves to live a long and happy life, it would be those two, he thought sadly.
He could've sworn he felt someone holding him close before everything went black.
The feeling of strong arms that held him protectively were unfamiliar and yet Megumi felt himself start to relax while those same hands began to roam all over his skin, passing through each and every injury almost tenderly, healing every cut and mending every broken bone until Megumi could breathe properly again.
How careless, Fushiguro Megumi. The voice had berated him.
Megumi doesn't know why the voice sounded so worried, it was almost as if they cared about him.
I won't let you die.
But Megumi's pretty sure he was already going to. The curse he fought was far too fast and Megumi wasn't able to get away fast enough.
Not again.
And for a moment, Megumi wondered what that voice had meant.
Strangely enough, the voice had sounded too much like Sukuna's.
Megumi wakes up to the familiar sight of his bedroom and is immediately confused.
How was he still alive?
The question burns hot under his skin but no one was there to answer him. Blinking a few times, Megumi is surprised to feel none of the usual aches and weariness in his body. His injuries have all been healed and from the looks of it, none had left any lasting marks. Which only confused him further.
The special grade curse had been right in front of him, Megumi remembered clearly. There was no possible way for him to have survived that fight on his own. But then the feeling of warm hands enveloping him in a protective embrace reminded him of that he had not been alone that time.
Someone had come for him. And Megumi owed them his life.
Getting up, Megumi made his way over to the door. If he wanted answers, he needed to find Itadori or Kugisaki to ask them about what had happened.
Turning the knob, Megumi was about to head outside but he immediately stopped upon seeing the face that greeted him.
The King of Curses stood right in front of his doorsteps.
Megumi almost closes the door to his face, almost.
"What are you doing here?" Megumi hissed, unable to mask the surprise and anxiousness in his voice.
Sukuna didn't look annoyed as his eyes slowly passes over Megumi's face, in a low hum.
"I wanted to see you." He answered with a shrug, shoving his hands inside his pants pocket, Sukuna started to walk past Megumi to step inside the room.
Having no other choice, Megumi closes the door and follows the curse to his bed.
"Why do you want to see me?"
Sukuna flashes Megumi an amused smile but says nothing.
"What happened to Itadori?"
"I come all this way to visit you and you're going to ask me about the brat?" Sukuna asked back with a quirk of his brow.
Megumi could only stare at him in confusion. He had no idea how to deal with Sukuna, especially when the curse was so hard to read. He didn't look all that bothered from where he sat on Megumi's bed comfortably, but Megumi isn't stupid enough to believe Sukuna's nonchalance for a second.
The King of Curses came to see him for a reason, Megumi's sure of it.
"Since when have you been having trouble falling asleep?"
The question was just as shocking as the fact that it was Sukuna who was asking.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Megumi lied.
How Sukuna had found out about his struggle to fall asleep was concerning and Megumi's mind was working on overdrive to try and piece Sukuna's sudden appearance with the curse's strange questions. Too wrapped up in his own thoughts, Megumi failed to notice the shift in Sukuna's expression.
"Liars bore me, Fushiguro Megumi." Sukuna leaned closer, his voice dropping dangerously low as he caught Megumi's attention now that their faces are mere inches away. "I asked you a question, I expect an honest answer."
"Why do you even care?"
Pulling back, Sukuna heaved an exasperated sigh before he was back to watching Megumi closely. "It's because I do." He answers after a moment of silence and Megumi found his breath hitching at the honest admission.
"So tell me," Sukuna starts, moving closer to catch Megumi's chin between his fingers. "What's been troubling you?"
There was no way Sukuna wanted to know about his nightmares. Sukuna is nothing but blood and bones. He only knew death and carnage; nothing interests him except for his own gain and enjoyment. And Megumi was painfully aware of that.
And yet.
And yet, here he was, looking at Megumi with expectant eyes while he patiently waited for Megumi to talk. Megumi didn't know what to think about this entire situation. No one has been this patient with him before, or this adamant about his troubles. It unnerved Megumi as as much as it sent a warm flutter at the pit of his stomach.
"You have to promise not to laugh."
Sukuna seemed to contemplate Megumi’s offer for a moment before shrugging his shoulders noncommittedly. And yet his eyes never left Megumi’s the entire time.
"I've been having nightmares every night for the past three weeks." Megumi finally admits, closing his eyes in anticipation for any kind of mockery aimed towards him from the curse.
Sukuna only continued to watch Megumi quietly. His eyes held no malice or disdain, only a curiosity that silently asked for the younger boy to continue.
"It's stupid, I know." Megumi turns his gaze away from the curse, cheeks flushing from embarrassment. "I've fought curses far more dangerous, but I still ended up getting scared like a little kid over the same nightmare."
"I could help you." Sukuna offered easily. "I could keep you safe."
"You can't protect me from a nightmare, Sukuna." Megumi found himself smiling at the thought, it sounded ridiculous in his head how willing Sukuna was to throw down against a figment of Megumi's imagination.
"I have my ways." Sukuna smirked.
Rolling his eyes, Megumi felt some of the tension leaving his body. Sukuna didn't seem like he's out to murder anyone within close vicinity. And if he really wanted Megumi dead, he'd have done so already. And his offer did sound tempting, Megumi would do anything to be able to sleep properly again.
So with his mind made up, Megumi found himself agreeing to the curse's offer.
It's not like he has anything else to loose.
Ten minutes and thirty-five seconds later and Megumi's already dressed up and ready to go to sleep.
Sukuna was still siting on the other side of the bed, watching Megumi intently.
"Lie down." Sukuan commanded.
Squinting his eyes at the curse cautiously, Megumi slowly followed his order and proceeded to climb on top of his bed. Once safely snuggled underneath his blanket, Megumi looked at Sukuna with a raised brow, waiting for the curse to do whatever it was he planned on doing in order to help Megumi with his nightmares.
Initially, Megumi had expected charms or maybe an incantation or two, but what he did not expect was for the curse to lie down next to him and pull Megumi in his arms.
Fear and panic has Megumi instinctively pushing himself away but Sukuna's hold was firm and kept him n place.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Megumi asked vehemently, already thinking of which shikigami to summon if Sukuna doesn't let go of him in the next second.
"Surely you know what a hug is." Sukuna says with a roll of his eyes.
"You..." Megumi couldn't even finish his sentence, what was he even going to reply to such a statement? How does Sukuna even know what a hug is?
"Look, I saw the brat do this to that woman the other day when she was all teary eyed about a movie, what ever the fuck that is." Sukuna confessed. "She seemed to calm down afterwards."
"So you're trying to calm me down with a hug?"
There was another eye roll but Sukuna makes no move to deny it.
"Go to sleep, Fushiguro Megumi." Sukuna whispered next to the shell of his ear, his voice so soft and impossibly gentle that Megumi had to keep his heart from trembling out of his chest. "I'll keep you safe, you have my word."
Surprisingly, those were the words Megumi needed to hear before he was fast asleep in Sukuna's embrace.
No nightmares dared to wake him this time around. But despite the lack of hospital rooms and unconscious older sisters, there was something strange about the dream Megumi was having.
In this dream, he wore clothes from a different time and his face looked different somehow — older, a bit more confident. Everything was all too strange. Everyone called him Zen'in or Master and Megumi had no idea why he felt so out of place yet so at home at the same time.
A woman who looked so much like Maki lead him outside where she mentioned someone was waiting for him. Megumi wasn't able to catch the name but he could see a familiar shade of salmon hair and the next thing he knew he was faced to face with none other than Sukuna Ryomen.
Except this time, he looked a bit different as well. His eyes held no sinister intent and they were a softer shade than the deep pools of red they normally were, and his smile was kind and warm once his gaze landed on Megumi.
He almost looked like Itadori, then. He almost looked human.
"Have you waited long?" Megumi found himself asking him.
"For you, my love, I could wait an entire lifetime." Sukuna answered, an easy smile on his lips as he walked the few extra steps to reach Megumi.
Megumi didn't even have time to say anything back because in the next moment, Sukuna was already leaning closer for a kiss.
Their lips brush and Megumi felt like suns were exploding in his vision.
Kissing Sukuna had always been so intense, no matter how soft and tender the older man would be. It always felt like burning — it was Megumi tasting himself in the mouth of the sun.
He'll never get tired of the feeling, he's sure of it.
The sun had long since set by the time Megumi wakes up.
The room is once again surrounded in darkness, but a familiar warmth is holding him close and Megumi instinctively leans closer to the warmth. He pushes forward, nuzzling closer without much thought. He inhales and the strong scent of cedar and sandalwood immediately assaulted his senses.
Normally, Megumi would have blanched and move away given how sensitive his nose was, but the scent was calming and it soothed Megumi for some reason. It reminded him of shrine visits and that one time his parents took him and Tsumiki to the countryside to visit an old relative who lived close to the mountains.
The sound of soft humming broke Megumi from his earlier memory and he slowly started to blinked himself awake.
The humming is louder now that Megumi's paying closer attention to it, and with each tone, Megumi felt the vibrations of it underneath him. It takes Megumi a few more seconds to realize that he's been lying on top of someone the entire time. And that someone had been Sukuna.
The humming stops as soon as the curse noticed Megumi's state of consciousness.
"I take it you slept well?" The question was light, almost teasing and Megumi returned Sukuna's smile with one of his own, albeit a smaller one.
"Yeah, It was—"
Nice, Megumi stopped himself from saying.
"I didn't have a nightmare." He says instead.
Sukuna is quiet for some time and Megumi feared he's managed to anger the curse with his answer. But as soon as an apology was about to slip past his tongue, Sukuna started to laugh, the sound reverberated deep within the recess of Megumi's mind, sending shivers down his spine.
"That song you were humming just now, what's it called?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because it sounds—"
Familiar, Megumi wants to tell him — like he's heard it before but he couldn't exactly remember when.
"Can you sing it for me?" He asks instead.
"Demanding aren't you?" Sukuna replies, teasing. But his gaze looked reminiscent, almost as if he's waiting for Megumi to remember something. And maybe Megumi wanted to remember as well.
"Please."
"How could I ever say no?" And with little prompting, Sukuna began to sing.
The song was surprisingly sad despite the soft and mellow melody. Sukuna's voice fitted the song perfectly and Megumi found himself getting lulled back to sleep. In the warmth of Sukuna's arms and steady breathing, Megumi felt completely safe and sound.
And if he closed his eyes, he could hear the slow steady beat of Sukuna's heart; the sound, providing Megumi with another sort of comfort he never expected he would ever be able to receive from anyone anymore.
The song continued and in the next verse, Megumi was already fast asleep.
Sukuna had stayed with Megumi the entire evening.
Sukuna felt his entire soul ignite with longing and fought the unbearable urge to kiss Megumi and tell him everything: to remind the boy about who he was and who they were together.
But Sukuna stops himself.
It would do them no good if Megumi couldn't remember on his own.
"I had lost you, once." Sukuna quietly confessed for no one else to hear. "And I can't loose you again."
Never again, Sukuna tells himself.
So he'll wait for Megumi, for however long it takes.