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Bakugou felt a bead of sweat slip down the side of his neck. He followed the trail of it as it trickled down his shoulder until it was finally caught by the fabric of his t-shirt where it hugged his bicep. The cold was still lingering in the air, so he fought back a shiver through his sweat-damp clothes.
He ground his teeth together before he turned back towards Kirishima. The redhead was only just getting to his feet. Bakugou watched as he tried to wipe the dust from his clothes. He wasn’t faring any better than Bakugou. He had chosen to shuck off his shirt right when they started sparring and he seemed a little annoyed at the dirt caked to his skin.
“Again,” he said, staring hard at his friend. Kirishima met his gaze, frowning. Bakugou wanted to snarl, to tell him to wipe that look off his face. He fuckin’ hated it.
He hated the way people looked at him when he got like this. Everyone else was allowed to be angry and to shout and curse when they were pissed, but the second Bakugou did it he was looked at like he was this small, pitiful thing. It made him want to crawl out of his own skin.
But, at least it was just Shitty Hair. He could handle a concerned frown or two from him because that was (mostly) all he would get. It was one of the good things about sparring with the redhead when he was as pissed as he was; he knew Bakugou hated being pitied, so he usually just let him fight until the feverish anger under his skin simmered down to a reasonable level. He felt a grin crawl over his face as Kirishima stepped into his usual fighting stance. The other good thing about sparring with Kirishima was that Bakugou could hit him as many times as he wanted and Kirishima’d never break.
It was starting to get colder out as the day wore on. Bakugou could feel the way the air was changing around him, the way his body produced less and less sweat in an effort to conserve his body heat. It made his palms take longer to heat up than he liked, so as soon as he could feel the nitroglycerin crackling under the explosion-hardened skin of his hands, he propelled himself forward. He could feel the heat from his fire singing the hairs on his legs but he didn’t bother moving away from the sputter of the flames. He welcomed the burn.
He focused his attention back on Kirishima and cursed, quickly digging his heels into the ground to slow his momentum. The idiot hadn’t even bothered using his quirk. He was just standing there like Bakugou wasn’t about to hit him square in the face with a fistful of fire.
He quickly redirected the explosion he had aimed at Kirishima’s face towards the sky as he skidded to a halt directly in front of his friend. Before he could think, Kirishima had grabbed him by the arm and twisted, flipping him over his shoulder. Bakugou watched the world spin for half a second before he was landing on his back - hard. He grunted as the air was knocked out of his lungs.
“What the hell, shitty hair?” he said, wheezing a bit as he tried to choke out the words.
“Look man, I don’t want to pry. I know how much you hate it, but Bakugou with a clear head wouldn’t have thought twice about blowing me to pieces just then. He would have told me it was my fault for not using my ‘shitty quirk,’” Kirishima quirked his fingers in air quotes as he spoke.
“If you don’t want to talk about whatever it is, fine, but I don’t think we should spar if your head isn’t in it,” Kirishima said. He was worrying his bottom lip in between dagger-sharp teeth. Bakugou wasn’t surprised to see the pinpricks of blood pooling on the innermost part of his lip.
“It’s nothing,” he growled. He attempted to sit up and sucked a breath in through his teeth as pain radiated through his right shoulder. He could already feel the bruise forming on his shoulder blade from where Kirishima had flipped him.
“If you say so,” Kirishima said. He kicked his feet a little and refused to look Bakugou in the eye as he spoke. Bakugou tilted his head back and stared at the sky. The entire fuckin’ thing was gray except for the tiny pocket where the sun had somehow managed to peek out. He glanced over at Kirishima who was still staring at his feet. Stupid fucking Shitty Hair.
“Todoroki kissed me when we were at Endeavor’s for that stupid internship,” he said, still staring skyward. He reckoned if he stared at the sun long enough he would blind himself. At least then he’d never have to see Kirishima’s reaction.
“Does this situation call for a ‘congrats Bakubro’ or should I threaten to beat him up?” Kirishima asked. Bakugou snorted as Kirishima sat down heavily beside him. He knew Kirishima would never actually beat up Icy Hot, but it did make his chest feel a little warmer. He finally lowered his eyes and stared at Kirishima through the black spots swimming across his vision.
“I don’t fuckin’ know.”
“Well, what did he say when he kissed you?”
Bakugou crossed his arms over his chest and leaned forward on his knees, ignoring the way his shoulder protested the weird position.
“He said he was sorry,” he mumbled, purposefully speaking into the fabric of his sweats. Kirishima made a confused noise and moved closer to Bakugou. He could see the red of his hair as he leaned closer to him.
“What?”
“He fuckin’ said he was sorry and then he up and refused to speak to me for the rest of the internship,” Bakugou said, speaking at a volume way louder than he meant to. Scowling, he looked back over at Kirishima.
“I don’t fucking get it. Why the fuck would he do that? I didn’t get to say a single fuckin’ thing before he froze up like he had made the biggest mistake of his life and ran away.”
“I mean… what would you have said? If he had stuck around?” Kirishima asked. Bakugou huffed and stared down at his hands. He curled them into fists around the fabric of his sweats in a haphazard attempt to dry the sweat pooling in his palms.
He wanted to say he didn’t know, that he would have been pissed and fought Todoroki then and there… but he’d had days to think about it. And it was all he had been able to think about since. All Todoroki had done was give him a peck on the lips before running away and all Bakugou could think about was when he would get the chance to feel it again.
“I don’t know, alright? It just would’ve been nice to get a chance to at least think about it,” he said.
“I mean maybe you should just ask him about it?”
Bakugou scowled at Kirishima.
“Why the fuck would I do that? That stupid half and half bastard kissed me without my permission and then he fuckin’ high-tailed it out of there like I’d burned him. I think his opinion is pretty damn clear.” He stood up and wiped off his pants before turning back towards the dorms.
“I’m going back to my room. Don’t fuckin’ tell any of the other idiots I told you this. They’d never let me hear the end of it,” he said, glaring at Kirishima over his shoulder. His friend just held up his hands and jogged to catch up to him.
Bakugou shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked. He scrubbed at his face to get rid of the sheen of sweat that had gathered there and tried not to think about the way his hand lingered over his lips, if only for a second.
Bakugou never noticed how many fucking couples there were at U.A., let alone in his own class. Sue him, but he never really gave a shit about who was sucking face with who in their free time. But after Todoroki had kissed him, he couldn’t help but notice how many of his classmates were either together or really wanted to be together.
He may not have paid attention before, but it wasn’t like he was blind. He could see the way Jirou looked at Pikachu and Momo. He saw how Uraraka smiled at Mina and the way Ojiro would blush whenever Shinsou was around. Hell, even Deku got nervous and blushy around Kirishima which made Bakugou want to bang his head against the wall until he knocked himself out.
Where he had never noticed it before, now it was all he could see. And he wished he could go back to not seeing it. He wasn’t jealous. He wasn’t. It just pissed him off to see all these idiots pining after each other so soon after… well, after Todoroki.
Bakugou stared out the window, not even bothering to listen to Aizawa drone on about proper hero etiquette when in another pro hero’s patrol zone. He didn’t need to pay attention to know what the heart of the lesson was. Don’t be a dick and don’t butt in where you aren’t needed. Plain and simple.
He couldn’t get his mind off of Todoroki. He had been thinking about that night almost nonstop since it happened. They had just gotten back from having probably the most awkward dinner ever at Endeavor’s house. Deku had gone to bed almost immediately, leaving Bakugou and Todoroki sitting awkwardly in the living room. Though, looking back at the memory, he wasn’t sure Todoroki had felt awkward at all, just that same brand of quiet that he always was.
He wasn’t even sure how it happened. Bakugou had been flipping through a random manga Sero had forced him to read when Todoroki had sat down next to him, much closer than Bakugou would have preferred. He had just grunted, shifting slightly to put some space between them without telling Todoroki to fuck off outright. He’d figured he should be at least a little polite considering the only reason he got the internship was because of Todoroki inviting him.
“Bakugou I…” Bakugou remembered the way Todoroki had sounded that night, soft and calculating. He wished that he had looked up from his manga to look at him when he spoke.
“What? Spit it out already,” he had growled, still flipping through his book. And then there was a hand on his jaw, gently moving his head so that he was looking up at Todoroki. His hand was cold against Bakugou’s face. Bakugou stared at him, too shocked to even consider pulling away. Before he could blink, Todoroki was leaning forward. Bakugou jerked at the press of Todoroki’s lips against his own, more out of surprise than anything. A half-strangled noise formed deep in his throat.
Bakugou closed his eyes against the sun shining through the window. It was a fruitless attempt to escape the memory flooding back into his mind. He grimaced as he remembered the look of absolute horror on Todoroki’s face when he realized what he had done.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I -” Bakugou felt something twist deep in his gut as he remembered Todoroki’s choked-off apology. He had stood up and fled from the room before Bakugou could react. He had sat there for what felt like hours, still reeling from the sensation of Todoroki’s cool lips against his own, warmer ones.
He wished he had said something. Maybe if he had, or if he had caught Todoroki’s wrist before he could leave, or at least chased after him when he had, things would be different. Maybe Todoroki would have explained himself. Maybe he would have kissed him again.
Bakugou growled, slamming his fist down onto his desk in annoyance. He needed to stop thinking like that. He was getting his hopes up for no damn reason. He had never seen such a horrified look on Todoroki’s face, not even when he was forced to sit back and watch as his dad was torn to pieces on national television. If kissing Bakugou was worse than that, then he had no chance at all.
It made sense, the more he thought about it. Todoroki was quiet, emotionless on the best of days, and calm. He rarely got angry. Of course, he would think kissing Bakugou was a mistake. Bakugou was loud. His first reaction to any situation was anger. There wasn’t a part of him that was soft, nearly every inch of his body was rough, hardened down by years of explosions. There was no way someone like Todoroki would want someone like him.
He risked glancing over at Jirou. She was smiling at her phone, held secretly underneath her desk. Bakugou figured she was texting either Pikachu or Ponytail. Bakugou turned back towards Aizawa before she could catch him staring. Jirou was… nice, he guessed. She seemed cool when he was practicing with her for the U.A. Festival. She had even somehow managed to start dating two of his classmates.
He stared down at his hands, clenching his teeth at the slight tremble in his fingers. So Jirou had Yaoyarozu and Kaminari. Mina liked Uraraka and she very obviously liked her too. Even Deku had someone since Kirishima had seemingly finally gotten his head out of his ass and asked him out. He could feel his head start to swim as thought after thought raced through his mind. What did they have that he didn’t? Why could someone like that shitty nerd Deku be good enough for someone to love them but he wasn’t? What was so bad about him that Todoroki was horrified to have kissed him? What was so bad about him? Was he really that awful?
Bakugou could feel his breath catch in his chest, his exhale coming out rough enough for a few of his classmates to turn and look at him. He curled his hands into fists, ignoring the way his fingernails dug into his palms, threatening to pierce the explosion-calloused skin there.
“Something you wanna share with the class, Bakugou?” Aizawa asked, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Bakugou could see right through his bored expression. There was openness there, a suggestion of an out if Bakugou needed to take it. Bakugou scowled, ignoring the flush that came to his cheeks at being called out.
“I need to go to my locker,” Bakugou said, standing and storming from the room before Aizawa could react. He could hear someone ask if U.A. even had lockers, but he blocked the sound from his mind as he walked down the halls.
It was Aizawa’s idea. He had noticed that sometimes Bakugou started to get overwhelmed, even more so after being kidnapped, so his teacher had told him if he felt like he needed a break to say he needed to go do something, and Aizawa would let him step out for a few minutes.
He had protested at first. He didn’t need some extra help that no one else was getting. But after the third time someone brought up him being kidnapped, the whisper of a hand around his throat had been too much to bear and Bakugou had stuttered out some excuse about needing to go see Recovery Girl. He had spent the rest of the day on the roof, letting the sun warm his skin, a gentle reminder that he was at U.A., that he was safe.
Aizawa had joined him before, once or twice. Apparently, he used to hang out on the roof with his friends back when he was in U.A., so Bakugou’s clever hiding spot wasn’t as clever as he had originally thought. He had a feeling he would see his teacher again today once he was done teaching and his classmates moved on to their next class.
Bakugou turned down the hallway he knew led to the roof access stairwell, still lost in his thoughts. There was a tightness in his chest as he entered the stairwell. Just a few more steps and he would be outside. The walls couldn’t close in on him if there weren’t any.
He rounded the last of the stairs, pushing open the heavy metal door that led to the roof. He could feel the tension ease out of his shoulders once the sunlight hit his skin. It was cold out today, but he welcomed the chill against his skin.
He slid down against the wall, further away from the ledge than he might sit normally. Aizawa always got a little antsy when he sat too close, probably a hard-to-break habit from too many years as a pro.
Bakugou picked at the skin around his fingernails as he sat. The chill from the bricks against his back was already starting to seep in through the thick material of his school jacket. He felt a little more grounded than he had inside, less like the panic was going to fill his lungs and drown him.
But it was quieter here. There was less noise to distract him from the thoughts swirling in his brain. He brought his thumb to his mouth, capturing the nail between his teeth. He wondered what Todoroki thought when he left so suddenly; he wondered if he even cared at all. He groaned and let his head fall back against the bricks with a thump. He was so fucking screwed.
He didn’t look up at the groan of the metal door swinging open. He could tell from the heavy, shuffling footfalls that Aizawa had decided to join him after all. He wasn’t surprised when Aizawa sunk down next to him, slouching over and craning his head to peek at Bakugou.
“You okay, kid?” he asked. His voice was level, with no real concern or any other emotion discernable. He had learned pretty damn quick that any concern or pity would just turn Bakugou’s panic into rage. Bakugou exhaled through his teeth, watching as his breath curled out in front of him.
He wasn’t sure if he should answer. He could say he was fine, he had before. Aizawa had never forced him to talk about what was bothering him. Usually, if he refused to talk, Aizawa would just sit with him until he was ready to go back to class or to the dorms. He had already opened his mouth to answer, to say that he just needed some air when Aizawa spoke again.
“Todoroki asked about you,” he said. Bakugou sat up straight, staring hard at his teacher. He was running his hand over the end of that stupid scarf he always wore. There was no emotion on his face. He didn’t look like he had any idea that that was probably the worst thing he could have said. Or maybe the best, Bakugou hadn’t decided yet. Bakugou curled his hands into fists again, trying to look as nonchalant as he could.
“What did he say?” he demanded. Aizawa glanced back at him for a moment.
“Just asked if you were alright. He seemed worried. I didn’t realize you two were friends now.”
Bakugou scoffed. That stupid bastard had no reason to be worried about him.
“We aren’t. He probably just feels bad that he forced himself on me and then ran off like a coward,” he said. He looked up, startled, at Aizawa’s sudden inhale.
“He did what?” he asked. Bakugou swallowed. Aizawa’s eyes were wide and sharp, shock and anger written clearly on his face. Bakugou held up his hands, attempting to backtrack before his teacher went to find Todoroki and kill him or something.
“It isn’t like that, calm down. He just,” Bakugou scratched at the back of his neck. “Well it sounds stupid now, but he kissed me out of nowhere, and then he ran off before I could say anything. He apologized, but he looked horrified after, and…” Bakugou trailed off on a sigh. Aizawa relaxed visibly and stared at him, clearly waiting for the rest of his explanation.
“And I liked it. The kiss. And he clearly didn’t, so he’ll never do it again and it pisses me off that he won’t,” Bakugou said.
“Kid,” Aizawa said, huffing out a breath. “Have you tried talking to him about it?”
“What is it with people asking me that?” Bakugou huffed. “Of course I haven't. Why would I want to talk to someone who clearly doesn’t like me?”
Aizawa let out a long sigh, leaning over his knees and moving his neck from side to side. There were a few loud cracks as Aizawa sat back up. He fixed his gaze on Bakugou and he squirmed a little. He hated Aizawa’s eyes sometimes. It always felt like he was looking right through him like he could see through all the walls Bakugou had worked so hard to build.
“Let me ask you this, kid, what did you do when he kissed you?”
“What, you think it’s my fault or something?” Bakugou asked, frowning.
“Just answer the question, problem child, you’re giving me a migraine,” Aizawa said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Fine,” Bakugou growled. He thought back to that night and hummed. “He kissed me and I kind of like jerked back a little. Sue me, I was surprised.” Aizawa stared at him in lieu of responding. Bakugou shifted around a little, trying to get some feeling back into his legs.
“What?” he asked after Aizawa just continued to stare at him.
“God I’m so glad I’m not a stupid teenager anymore,” he mumbled, closing his eyes for a moment. Bakugou opened his mouth to tell him to fuck off when Aizawa continued. “Did you consider that when you jerked back he thought you were upset or angry?”
Bakugou frowned. Of course, he hadn’t considered that. He had literally just been surprised. If Todoroki had waited even a few more seconds, or if he had moved in to kiss him again, Bakugou would have kissed him back. He had never thought of Todoroki, or really anyone, that way before. It was like the kiss had opened his eyes to this world he had never even realized existed, which was exactly why it pissed him off so goddamn much that Todoroki acted like it was the worst thing ever.
“Go talk to him,” Aizawa said, interrupting Bakugou’s train of thought. He wanted to protest but thought better of it when he saw the look on his teacher’s face.
“Fine, I will. Don’t get mad if I blast a hole in his wall,” he said, getting to his feet in one swift motion, already stomping towards the stairwell before Aizawa could even stand. He could have sworn he heard his teacher mutter something about teenagers being idiots, but he decided to ignore it, his mind taken up by what he would even say when he got to Todoroki’s room.
He made it to Todoroki’s room quickly and stopped in front of his door, fist raised to knock. He hesitated for a second as the bundle of nerves coiling in his gut suddenly flew into his throat.
Oh fuck this, he thought raising his hand to pound against the door a few times. He lowered his hand, wiping his palms against his pants. He could hear some sort of thump come from the room and the soft sound of footsteps before the door opened, revealing Todoroki. His eyes widened a bit when he saw Bakugou.
Bakugou scowled as he stared at the heterochromatic boy. He was wearing a soft, grey sweater and sweats. His hair was a little disheveled like he had been taking a nap and Bakugou had just woken him up. His hands twitched and he felt an absurd desire to reach out and straighten Todoroki’s hair. He clenched his fists and steeled his gaze.
“Can I come in,” he demanded, already moving to squeeze past Todoroki before he could answer. Todoroki closed the door behind them and followed Bakugou further into his dorm. Bakugou stopped beside his desk and leaned against it, still scowling at Todoroki.
“Do you need something?” Todoroki asked, staring at him with an even expression. Bakugou growled.
“Why did you kiss me?” he asked. Todoroki’s eyes widened for a moment before he looked away, biting at his lip as he did.
“Well?” Bakugou prompted. Todoroki looked back up at him then, an uncertain look on his face. Bakugou could feel his stomach flip. He tried to steel himself for the answer, already convinced that it wasn’t going to be something he wanted to hear.
“It was honestly a spur of the moment thing,” Todoroki said, chewing on his lip. He looked down at his hands before Bakugou could respond. Bakugou felt his breath catch in his chest.
“So it didn’t mean shit to you? You just run around kissing everyone like that? You get some sort of kick out of fucking with people?” Bakugou asked. He was breathing hard, struggling to keep his anger in control. He could feel it rising up in his throat and he felt like he might choke on it.
“No, I don’t -” Todoroki started. Bakugou scoffed.
“I don’t know why I even care,” Bakugou said, laughing loudly. He scrubbed a hand over his face as his eyes started to burn with tears. “God, I must be so fuckin’ stupid. I thought for a minute that you might actually like me, that maybe that kiss meant something.” Bakugou shoved off the desk, storming towards the door.
He turned back when he reached it, eyes venomous.
“Don’t fucking -”
Before he could blink, Todoroki was right in front of him, all but pressing him against the back of the door. Bakugou growled, moving to shove Todoroki off of him.
“Did you want it to mean something?” he asked. Bakugou stopped.
“Why does it matter? It clearly meant nothing to you.” Todoroki closed his eyes for a second, breathing in sharply through his nose.
“Just fucking tell me, did you want it to mean something?” he asked again. Bakugou stared at him for a second before he let his head fall back against the door.
“I did, okay? I don’t know why, but I did. Happy?” He spat. He looked back at Todoroki. His pupils were blown wide. Bakugou squirmed a bit underneath Todoroki’s intense gaze.
“Wha - mmf,” Bakugou was pushed back against the door further as Todoroki surged forward, pressing their lips together in a rush. It was all teeth until Todoroki pulled back slightly, carding his fingers into Bakugou’s hair and pulling him forward to press their lips together again. Bakugou’s brain finally caught up with him and he gasped into the kiss, pressing impossibly closer to the taller boy. Soon, Todoroki was pulling away, gasping as he pressed his forehead against Bakugou’s.
“You fuckin’ idiot,” Bakugou laughed. “How many times are you gonna just kiss me outta nowhere?”
Todoroki smiled, just this tiny quirk of his lips that made Bakugou break into a smile of his own.
“As many as I can.”