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Phoenix laughed at something Sova said and turned around toward the door of the break room, only to crash into KAY/O coming through the doorway, spilling his entire cup of tea right on the panel in the middle of his chest. KAY/O’s display started to flicker.
“Shit, man, I’m sorry! You good? Man, please, tell me you’re good, if I messed you up--” Phoenix started to panic, trying to clean up the spilled tea.
KAY/O’s display flickered a little more before it blinked back on. He moved his head to the side experimentally.
“Initiating diagnostic. All systems operational.” KAY/O looked at Phoenix, his movements already seeming more fluid and normal. “Don’t worry, Phoenix. It seems you did no damage.”
Phoenix sighed in relief. “Man, I really thought I fucked up there. You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m certain. I’m not that fragile.”
“Good. Damn, I gotta make a new cup of tea now. Sorry again, bruv,” Phoenix said, clapping him on the shoulder before heading to the kitchen again. KAY/O nodded and went into the break room.
“Hello, Sova,” KAY/O said, sitting down in front of the chess table. Sova liked to practice his strategy, and KAY/O thought it was a nice workout for his processors, so they played chess on the regular, even though it was clear Sova didn’t really stand a chance. It was more about the time they spent and the practice they got than the final outcome.
“Hello, KAY/O. Are you ready for our game?”
“I’m always ready,” KAY/O said, arranging his pieces. “Though it’ll be hard to keep my processors focused on the game without getting lost in your eyes.”
Sova was clearly not expecting that. KAY/O kept arranging the chess pieces as if he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary.
“KAY/O, is everything alright?” Sova asked, tentatively.
“Better now that I’m talking to you,” KAY/O said, looking up from the board, and his display showed “;)”.
Sova didn’t know much about robots, but he was pretty sure KAY/O shouldn’t be acting like that all of a sudden.
“You don’t seem like yourself, my friend. Maybe I should call Killjoy to check you up.”
“I am fully operational, Sova. Don’t worry,” KAY/O said, his display changing back to normal. “Though there might be something wrong with my visual sensors. I can’t seem to take them off you.”
Sova looked around, just as Cypher walked into the room. He gestured to him.
“Cypher, you know your way around mechanics. Can you tell if there’s anything wrong with KAY/O?”
“I already told you, Sova. I’m perfectly functional.” He turned to Cypher, and his display changed to “;)” again. “It’s interesting, Cypher. You always say you want a corpse, but all I want is you.”
Cypher laughed. “Oh, this is interesting. Want me to take a look? Should be fun.”
“I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t trust you not to steal any more of my parts -- you already stole my heart, isn’t it enough?”
Cypher laughed again. “Well, I can never get enough of you,” he said, and Sova thought if Cypher had a display it would also be set to “;)”.
“Cypher, you should really take this more seriously. This could be a symptom of a more dangerous issue,” Sova said, not really sure if he should try looking into KAY/O’s panels himself or go call someone else. It’s not like Sova was very good with electronics, and he didn’t want to risk doing more damage to KAY/O.
“Don’t worry, my friend, he seems fine!”
“Sova, I don’t understand why you’re worried. Am I making you uncomfortable?” KAY/O asked.
“You’ve never acted like this before. I have to make sure everything’s okay,” he said. “I’ll go get Killjoy. Stay there.”
Just as he walked out, Brimstone walked into the break room. He’d stayed up way too late finishing up some reports, and the coffee he’d brought to his office this morning had just run out.
“Good morning, KAY/O, Cypher,” he said, already making his way to the kitchen for a refill.
“Brim, good morning. Are you a search engine? Because you’ve got everything I’m looking for.”
That made Brimstone turn around. “Wait, what did you say?”
“I said, are you a search engine? Because--”
“No, no, I heard you.” Brimstone let out a half laugh. “Is this some sort of joke? Did you lose a bet to Breach?”
KAY/O’s display changed from its usual symbol to “:( “. “Brimstone, it’s disheartening that your first reaction is to think I am joking. This will not do!” His display changed to a heart, hollow at first but slowly filling up. “Flirting mode increased to level 3. Preferred target: Brimstone.” His display changed back to normal. “I will make sure you know just how loved you are, Brim. You deserve that.”
Cypher chuckled. “This should be fun.”
“KAY/O, this really isn’t necessary,” Brimstone said, still unsure of what was going on.
“Nonsense, Brim. Did you know you always take my breath away? And I don’t even have lungs!”
Brimstone was a leader, and had been one for a long time. If there was one thing he knew, it was how to keep a poker face. He raised an eyebrow, keeping his face perfectly calm -- always best not to give Cypher more blackmail material. But inside, he was not calm. Not at all.
“KAY/O, this isn’t--”
“I’ve always thought happiness started with an ‘h’, but mine starts with ‘u’,” KAY/O interrupted.
Cypher was about to fall over laughing. There was a limit to Brimstone’s poker face, and he felt his cheeks warming up.
“That’s enough! I’m going to go get Killjoy, something’s definitely wrong--”
“I’m here, Brim,” Killjoy said, just as she was walking into the room with Sova behind her. “What’s the problem?”
“Oh, Killjoy, there you are. Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection,” KAY/O said, his display changing back to “;)”.
She giggled. “Oh, that’s interesting. I didn’t know you could flirt! Do you have, like, a pick up line database? Or are you making this up as you go? Have you been flirting with everyone or is it just people you like? Wait, do you like me ? We should check to see if there’s a pattern. Has anyone seen Reyna?”
“I can assure you I have no desire to flirt with that woman,” KAY/O said.
“This is fascinating. Do you feel attraction? I mean, I have to admit I never thought of that, since you’re a robot and all -- no offense, of course.”
“None taken. It’s a fact.”
“But do you? Do you want to feel attraction? I wonder how I could program that--”
“Killjoy, I think we’re getting off track,” Brimstone said, recomposing himself. “Is there anything wrong with him?”
“Well, I’ve never seen such a big subroutine just appear out of nowhere. Did you do anything different lately? Did you turn this on by choice?”
“The only thing out of the ordinary that happened lately was that Phoenix spilled his tea on top of me. But my internal diagnostics didn’t show any damage.”
Killjoy’s eyes went wide. “KAY/O, this is bad! If the tea got to the central processor-- but no, the diagnostics would have-- not if the control subroutine was damaged--” she rambled, never finishing her thoughts as she discarded her options, holding a finger to her lip like she always did when she was thinking.
“If the control subroutine was damaged, could the diagnostics--” Cypher tried to interject.
“They could! That could be a big problem,” Killjoy said, and if even she seemed worried, that couldn’t be a good sign.
“How big?” Brimstone asked.
“You think this could have interfered with my central core?” KAY/O asked, a bit more concerned.
“I hope not, but we have to check,” Killjoy answered, and turned to Brimstone. “I’ll report back when I’ve figured this out. Come on, KAY/O, let’s get you to the lab.”
They walked out of the break room, leaving Brim, Cypher and Sova standing around.
“Well, that was unusual,” Cypher said.
“I told you it could be a symptom of something worse,” Sova said.
“I don’t specialize in killer robots. And it was fun while it lasted.”
Fun wasn’t exactly how he’d describe it, Brimstone thought. The idea that KAY/O could be seriously damaged by this was worrying, but Killjoy would take care of it. He did need to have a talk with Phoenix about telling someone when you spill tea on important tech, but that could wait, and he had plenty of work to do. He turned to refill his coffee cup, like he meant to all along, but he felt Cypher’s eyes on him the whole time.
“What?”
“I’ve never seen you so red, captain,” Cypher said. Even with a damn mask on, he managed to look smug -- a talent, but a really damn annoying one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee.
“I wonder if you’re just not used to being flirted with, or if it’s something about who--”
“Cypher, I wouldn’t finish that thought if I were you,” he said, in his best threatening voice.
Cypher laughed. Honestly, no one seemed to take him seriously outside of a battlefield -- not Cypher, not the kids, surely not the resident psychopaths. He sighed.
“I have way too much work to finish and no time to waste here listening to this crap,” he said, turning away to go back to his office.
Cypher didn’t say anything, but he could feel his smug grin on him while he walked out of the break room, and all the way over to his office. At that point he didn’t know if it was his imagination or if Cypher was really watching him, but honestly it could be either one -- figuring out where Cypher was stashing cameras was so tiring that he’d pretty much given up on it already. He sat down at his desk, and for once in his life he was actually glad to have a mountain of paperwork to take his mind off everything that might be going on in Killjoy’s lab.
***
He walked out of his office a bit early for lunch, hoping to check on KAY/O. He knocked on the door to Killjoy’s lab, even though it was ajar. KAY/O was sitting on the workbench with a lot of wires coming out of him, and Killjoy was putting a piece of his arm back together.
“Is everything alright?” he asked.
“Everything seems to be functional -- for real, this time,” KAY/O said.
“Oh, hey, Brim! Yeah, we caught it before anything really bad happened. I really need to tell Phoenix that if something like that happens, he should come and tell me! And you too, KAY/O, sometimes your internal diagnostics can be wrong too. I’m glad Sova went to get me,” she said, tightening up the last screw to close the panel and wiping some sweat off her forehead. “Should be good to go!”
“Thanks, Killjoy.”
“No problem! Now if you’ll both excuse me, Raze is waiting for me in the training field, if she didn’t already start the test without me,” she said, putting away her tools.
“Wait, Killjoy, what test?” Brimstone asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” she said, already walking out of the lab.
“You better not blow up the training range!” He yelled after her.
“We won’t!” she yelled back. He sighed. If he had a nickel for every time Killjoy and Raze had blown something up in headquarters…
He turned back to KAY/O, who hopped down the workbench. “So, uh, what was that?”
“An old diplomacy subroutine set to charm and no filter. I have to apologize, Brim. It was terribly inappropriate and I hope I didn’t make you too uncomfortable.”
“It’s nothing,” he said. “Just didn’t see it coming, that’s all. But we can chalk it up to that weird bug and put it behind us.”
KAY/O processed his words for just a fraction of a second longer than usual. “I feel like I should note, it lowered my filters and changed my usual communication patterns, but a mechanical issue couldn’t make me say something I don’t mean. I only said things I believe, even if not in the way I would have said it normally.”
Brimstone called on his poker face once again. “What are you trying to say, KAY/O?”
“Killjoy asked me a question I don’t know the answer to. I’m not used to it, and it’s troubling. How do you humans go about your lives like this?”
A requirement for being friendly with KAY/O was being used to slight insults to human nature. “What question?”
“If I feel attraction. I don’t have a biological reaction to it, of course, but I do think I might feel some form of it. I’m not sure if it’s romantic, but I do know that I like some people more than others. And I like you more than anyone else, Brim.”
Well, that wasn’t where he thought he’d end up when he woke up that morning. He knew that damn robot could analyze his vital signs, and that was really not helping him slow down his heart rate. He mentally cursed out Phoenix for starting the chain of events that put him in that position, standing in Killjoy’s lab with KAY/O, with no damn idea what to say.
“I’m sorry, this is unprofessional. Don’t worry, it won’t affect--” KAY/O started to say, and now Brimstone cursed himself out mentally for being an idiot.
“No, it’s alright, KAY/O, I…”
What the fuck was he going to say? He cared about KAY/O, always had, but like a friend -- right? Why did he even get so flustered when KAY/O started to flirt with him? It wasn’t like him. Shit, Cypher was getting in his head.
“Look, I like you, but I don’t think--” he stopped himself. Now that he was saying it… He couldn’t possibly have feelings -- romantic feelings -- for his buddy. Worse, his robot buddy. Right?
KAY/O waited patiently for him to get his thoughts untangled, and the way he was just standing expectantly definitely wasn’t helping.
“KAY/O, I--”
A loud boom echoed through the base. Brim massaged his temples, almost glad for the interruption, even though it was surely going to be a pain to clean up.
“That must be Killjoy and Raze. Took them long enough,” he sighed, taking the opportunity and hoping he didn’t seem too relieved. “You mind if we finish this conversation later?”
“Go ahead. You have your duties,” KAY/O said. His voice wasn’t exactly programmed for emotion, but Brimstone couldn’t help but think he seemed disappointed.
Brim walked out of the lab, rushing to the training range, but he caught himself wondering if he’d given KAY/O the wrong idea. And now that he thought about it, the wrong idea would be that he wasn’t interested. He had no idea how or when he’d caught feelings for the robot, but somehow it had happened. It was uncharted territory, it was complicated -- damn, Brimstone had been the first to put up rules against fraternization exactly because he knew the risks of getting too attached to a teammate. Not that anyone followed the rules anyway, but he’d seem like a damn hypocrite. If it was even possible for anything to happen with KAY/O, of course, which already seemed like a stretch. How would a relationship with a robot even be? Would it work, and would KAY/O even want that? Would he even want that?
Well, that was a problem for when the range wasn’t on fire with the latest invention to come out of Raze’s lab.