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“P-01, I have told you already to keep still.”
“Sorry, Doctor.” The young skeleton clasped his hands together in his lap, as if to physically hold them still himself, though his knee continued to bounce. Doctor Gaster sighed but didn’t bother to reprimand him again, P-01 always became antsy with the wires hooked up to his soul.
The doctor waited a moment for the readings to stabilize before performing a CHECK to confirm them. HP 320, approx. 20 more EXP until next LV…
Out of the corner of his eye, Doctor Gaster could see P-01 shifting a little from where he sat on the examination table and attempting to peer over at the notes the doctor was scribbling down. His brow ridges furrowed at the symbols before he realized he’d been caught and sheepishly shrunk back.
Doctor Gaster turned his attention to the child and simply stared at him for several moments while he fidgeted under the glare. P-01 opened his mouth, only to think the better of whatever he was about to say and close it again, shifting his gaze to his clasped hands.
Returning to the notes, Doctor Gaster didn’t manage to get very far before P-01’s voice piped up with a subdued - which was a difficult feat with his font - little “Umm…”
The doctor paused in his notes for the child to finish but when nothing further was said, he continued.
“Umm… Doctor..?”
“Yes, P-01?” A little more clipped than he’d intended, but P-01 was never one for allowing the doctor to just… complete his work.
P-01 began fidgeting again, “I was just wondering, sir… um, what are…those exactly?”
“What are what?”
“What are… those pictures you’re drawing?” P-01 pointed a finger at the symbols on the paper, staring at Gaster with an innocent curiosity.
It was now the doctor’s turn to shift uncomfortably in his seat, “Why do you ask?”
P-01’s shoulders visibly relaxed at the encouragement, “Well, I noticed that you draw them a lot! Especially when we do these tests...! And- And I can… see them?? in the air when you talk too, and I thought they looked very cool! And… um what are they?”
Dr Gaster stared down at his hand and popped his joints (a terrible habit really), trying to pick his words very carefully, “…Indeed. These are not drawings, P-01, they are…symbols used to represent words. They are… simply another means of communication.”
“O-Oh…” P-01’s brow ridge furrowed and he fell silent, leading the doctor to dimly hope that he had successfully confused the child into dropping the subject.
He really should have known better by now.
“But Brother and I don’t make “symbols” like that in the air when we talk. And mine don’t even look like his.”
Dr Gaster sighed, twirling his pen around his fingers, “Yes, because you are both skeletons. What you see is our fonts. All skeletons have and can see them and they vary by individual. That is all.”
“Oh. Wowie!” P-01 chirped before falling silent again. At this point Gaster knew better than to hope that the silence would last, and indeed a quick glance at the child’s face showed him deep in thought.
“…Doctor, could… um… could I perhaps learn those symbols?”
“What?”
P-01 flinched back at the harshness of the doctor’s tone. “Um…”
“Speak up, P-01.”
“I-I just… You said those symbols were used to communicate! I was just wondering if you could teach me how to use them, that’s- that’s all…”
This time Gaster didn’t even try to hide his exasperation, letting out a loud sigh and making a show of rubbing his temples. “Why do you wish to know?”
“I dunno. I just… thought it seemed cool and I wanted to learn. I like learning things…”
“Perhaps another time.” Gaster replied shortly, returning to his writing up his notes as a very clear indicator that the conversation was over. For once P-01 took the hint and kept his mouth shut, though his constant swinging of his legs continued to grate on Gaster’s nerves.
Despite his outward demeanor, a growing ball of anxiety was forming and knotting itself securely around Gaster’s ribs. P-01 was such an inquisitive child, so full of questions that were becoming increasingly difficult and frustrating to answer the older he got.
And Gaster could blame no-one but himself for this situation, for his poor planning, for his own curiosity and persistence.
What use did a weapon have for reading? But then, what use did a weapon have for cognizant thought, for independence, at all? And yet, here sat a child who Gaster had purposely avoided naming out of a fear of seeing him as anything other than a mindless weapon. And if not for a sense of stubborn pride, the project would have been canceled the moment said child proved himself to be just that; a child. The project would have been canceled and P-01 would be off at some orphanage somewhere (because God knew Gaster couldn’t care for him) and Gaster would never have tried again and created another with more or less the same results-
P-01 wasn’t the most intelligent creature, the proverbial wrench would have been thrown in the works a lot sooner had it not taken P-01 such a long time to learn speech, but he made up for it in his awareness, his... curiosity. By Gaster’s records, it was S-01 that proving to be the more intelligent one of the pair but he was still young enough to not know it yet.
How much longer would that last?
“Um…” Gaster was once again thrown from his thoughts by the meek little voice. “When you say “another time” … do you mean it?”
He felt almost too exhausted to argue, the child was just so persistent.
“And just where might he have gotten that from?”
“I am confident that reading would prove itself to be far too difficult for you, and besides there is so little material published in Hands that it would be entirely pointless. You do not, after all, know Common and my font means I cannot teach it to you.”
“”Reading”? “Common”? W-Why can’t you teach it to me? I’m sure I could learn, it wouldn’t be too difficult!”
“No further questions, P-01, it is decided.” Gaster replied, rising from his seat to begin unhooking the various machines and wires from P-01’s body and soul, the anxious knot having lessened even if just a little from his flimsy excuses.
Once he was freed, P-01 leaned over to stare down at the notes again with a frown on his face but Gaster paid him no notice as he put away his equipment. It was indeed decided, a weapon had no need for reading, no need for critical thinking. He only needed to do what he was made to do, and once he was fully grown, perhaps Gaster would not feel such dread at the thought of presenting him to the king.
Despite his anger and bitterness, King Asgore did still adore children after all. They were really the only protected class left…
“Oh! But Doctor, I know what that word means!”, P-01 piped up suddenly, beaming with pride and pointing a finger a group of symbols on the paper, “That one there is my name!”
Gaster stopped, a feeling of dread dropping into his stomach as if he’d been turned blue.
“P-01, what did you say?”
“This one right here! It says “P-01”, look!” Gaster didn’t particularly want to look. His breath caught in his throat and he stared in frozen shock and horror at P-01 who was still looking at the notes with his usual air of blithe innocence. Yet… Yet, reason told him there was no way the child’s conclusion could be anything more than a guess, right? He wanted to learn to read so he was making a guess using a word that was likely to be in the notes, of course.
With slow steps, Gaster moved forward, turning his head to glance down at where P-01 was pointing…
Right there above the child’s finger was indeed “P-01” written in Hands.
The look of sheer pride began its slow slide from P-01’s face when he realized that the doctor didn’t seem to share his excitement, and he pulled back his hand and began to squirm under the doctor’s gaze.
“How did you conclude that it was your name written there?” Gaster asked in a voice that sounded calm but didn’t make P-01 feel any better. In fact, it somehow happened to make him feel much worse actually!
“Um, well… whenever you say my name, those are the symbols I can see! So, I just, kinda thought that those symbols meant my n-name…”
Even Gaster had to admit, the reasoning was pretty sound, under any other circumstance he’d be pretty impressed. But just like that, everything Gaster thought he knew about this child he’d created was thrown up in flames yet again. Yet again, he was forced to confront the reality that this child – and the other child waiting in the room down the hall - would remain a constant reminder of his failure, that this little creature before him was no different a monster than any other walking the Underground and not the soulless, mindless weapon he was intended to be.
“Doctor…?”
Why must this be the burden Gaster had to carry for the crime of wanting to free his people? He had already lived with this for eleven years now, there was already no going back. So what use was guilt and regret at this point? There were far worse situations P-01 could be in in his life.
Such as S-01’s situation.
Speaking of S-01, had he also made this connection? Had P-01 shared it with him? They did seem to share everything after all. He never should have put them in the same room, but it was far too late to do anything about that now. Their bond was far too strong, it could certainly be used to Gaster’s advantage but was he really willing to stoop that low?
Gaster forced his mind to stop racing by focusing his attention back on P-01, whose face betrayed every emotion he was feeling. The main one Gaster could see was fear. Not of any sort of punishment or pain, but the fear that he’d disappointed his creator, the only other being he knew in his life besides his brother.
“Doctor, are you angry with me…?”
P-01 was so strangely terrified of disappointment…
“We will speak no more of this. Come. You will return to your room now.”
Being able to teach himself to read one word didn’t mean much, Gaster assured himself. Anyway, even if P-01 could read, would it really matter? It wasn’t as though he would be able to access information about anything the doctor didn’t wish for him to know.
Why did the whole thing make him feel so… uneasy?
Without looking to see if the child was following, Gaster began the walk back to the children’s shared room.
And for once P-01 was silent the entire time.