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changmin's at the kitchen this time for no reason at all, obviously, it's for a reason, an obvious one. and this time he's the one who can't sleep. his mind replays their last reveal stage performance like a broken videotape, recalling the mistakes he made.
he could've done so much better, even though the rest of his team members told him he did well, but that didn't solve the mistakes he made.
maybe he's a little hard on himself, yeah, totally, then again, he wants to do his best.
standing by the island, the silence gives a chance for him to self-reflect, brown eyes gazing at the cloudy night sky.
he decides to try counting the stars, laughing, realizing there are none in sight. how funny, well, he could always count sheep instead.
at the sound of the door creaking open, then shutting, changmin freezes, settling on concentrating on the noise. he's not afraid but it's night, to clarify, late-night, meaning it's past two a.m. it's not like anything creepy will appear, most likely either sunwoo, eric, or younghoon, or perhaps hyunjae are awake, though.
he feels his shoulders drop, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding when a familiar pair of strong arms find their way around his waist from behind. the gentle touch is all too familiar. even the scent, the chiseled jaw resting on his shoulder, the hands that cover his smaller ones, fingers entwining. the warm breath fanning his ear, which he pretty sure is now red. "what are you doing out here this late?" eric whispers, a smile slipping across his face when changmin turns, so they're now looking at each other. the look the younger gives the older, never fails to cease him, the subtle but adoration painted all over eric's expression, eyes shining even in the dark.
he has the nickname energetic boy for that solemn reason.
he has that bright sunshine kind of energy around him, making everyone instantly smile, giving a serotonin boost no matter the occasion.
and changmin just, changmin doesn't deserve someone like him. normally he doesn't cry, yet here he is, glistening eyes holding eric's now concerned ones, brows furrowed.
"are you okay? do you want to talk?" he says in english, not on purpose. he thinks the dancer understands from the way he leans into him, hand clutching his shirt tightly, sighing a deep sigh of frustration, disappointment, relaxation?
eric can't tell despite the fact it seemed like changmin was about to cry, but for what, only heavens know. he shifts his attention back to him instead, running a hand down his back, thumb rubbing circles at the small area there, whispering sweet nothings, and just holds him.
"you don't have to tell me right now, whatever is going in that pretty little mind of yours. let me know when your ready, but promise me, again, you won't do the same thing you did two weeks ago," he says in a firm but gentle tone, sticking his pinky finger out for the other to wrap around his own, and he does, much to eric's surprise, receiving a tug too.
the distance between them is far from out of reach, and if one of them dares to move closer, their lips would meet, but would it really matter when they did share their first kiss? the memory suddenly enters eric's mind, almost like a movie clip on rewind. his heartbeat fastens, wondering if changmin recalls the same.
it was a complete turn of events for him, for the both of them. heck, the rest of their groupmates still don't even know that they are together, partly because changmin's hesitant about them knowing, although the distance between them became far since the dancer has been avoiding him.
eric hasn't questioned him.
he won't anyway. he's aware the boy wasn't expecting them to feel the same way for each other, and the second thought of the raven avoiding him leads him to only one conclusion.
sixty seconds later, changmin draws away from the embrace, tearing his eyes away, looking anywhere but at eric. he quickly raises his arms to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks.
without even planning on it, eric was counting down the seconds just like in the movies, getting the message the dancer was showing, at least, he hopes so.
eric catches him off-guard, grasping him by the arms, causing changmin to look at him, and eric feels his heart swell at the sight of him.
"I didn't cry. It's just hot, that's all," changmin's eyes flicker down, finding the floor beneath them serving as a good distraction.
and changmin realizes how his lies about his true feelings have become immune to eric as he snakes a hand underneath his legs, one at his back for support, lifting him up in his arms.
placing him on the kitchen island, taking his hand, raising it to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss on the skin there while making eye contact with him. changmin, who refuses to accept the small gesture of affection pushes eric playfully, unable to stop the smile from blooming on his lips.
"are you really acting out a script from one of those dramas, or those disney films, cinderella, because it's not working, prince eric," the dancer emphasizes, beaming. this is what the silver-haired boy wanted to see, this is all he's been wishing for, the raven's happiness.
seeing him smile brings a wave of relief over him, in all honesty, it is to die for.
eric's hands brace at either side of him, coffee eyes roaming his face, leaning in to steal a kiss from him. changmin smiles in fondness, cupping eric's face in his palms, looking at him from one eye to another.
"you ruined it," eric tells him.
"ruined what?" changmin plays along, knowing exactly what he ruined, but he also knows the dorm is still awake, if they're caught by any chance, it will be difficult to explain, regardless of the fact they are all adults.
eric looks down, then back up, cheeks turning pink at his thoughts, and for a second, changmin thinks he understands what he's trying to tell him, bringing a laugh out of him.
eric takes this chance to plant a delicate kiss on changmin's lips, catching his shocked expression, "can I kiss you?" his voice is barely above a whisper. "you already kissed me, so why not?" changmin returns the grin playing on eric's face. the younger searches the older’s eyes before giving him a proper kiss that's full of longing with a hint of intimacy from the way he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. he lifts him off the island then, pulling away to let the both of them catch their breath as the raven throws his arms around the silver-haired boy’s neck.
a silent gasp escapes his mouth when he's pinned against the wall the next second, caged between his arms, chest rising and then falling, trying to comprehend eric's face in the dark. different emotions of anger, confusion, and love swirl in the brown of his eyes holding the other's chocolate ones. changmin's gaze on him softens, the sudden act's meaning dawning on him.
he looks anywhere but at him, ignoring his redden cheeks, and his fast heartbeat. that's when eric says changmin's thoughts, which are in fact, not a prediction because he knows eric a little more than he used to.
"it's been bothering me more than I thought it would, but I'm going to say it, actually, no, I shouldn't have initiated this in the first place, I'm sorry. You need space if not a hug. "
"you're not jealous, are you?"
eric laughs, feeling his cheeks burn at the words.
"I know you and chanhee hyung are close, but you've been avoiding me ever since that night. Which is why I never confessed to you. I was afraid of you avoiding me, and possibly hating me. I was afraid of losing our friendship too. I'm probably being selfish here."
"you're not. it's me who's being selfish. it's true I'm scared of what everybody else would think. I know we're all adults, but still."
"I'm only going to say this once, so listen carefully. you're all I ever think about. I want you to look at me the way you look at chanhee. I want to be able to kiss you when I'm happy, sad, or mad. I want to kiss you, be the one you go to when you're down and the one you're calling. I want to tell them you're mine. I love you and only you, changmin."
there's that smile again, that silly sweet smile of fondness, and cleverness plastered across his face, listening to him. "I know it's stupid but I thought you started to hate me," eric's words are cut off by changmin biting down on his collarbone, letting out a groan of discomfort, and astonishment, eyes wide. "you bit me!" he wines.
changmin laughs, throwing himself into eric's arms, resting his head there, wrapping his own around his waist.
closing his eyes, he finds himself relax in the boy's arms bringing warmth. he suddenly remembers why being in a special one's embrace basically translates to home.
"that was for claiming you as mine," changmin mentions, leaning over to whisper in his ear, "and this is payback for what you did just now," pressing a delicate kiss on his earlobe, causing eric to flinch. the moment changmin's lips are on his, eric's eyes widen. he just stares at him when the dancer pulls away to escape.
eric catches him just like last time, pulling himself out of his daze, spinning the dancer around, and pins him back against the wall, arms either side of him.
changmin's shocked but not shocked, he just can't help the smile spreading across his face, dimple on show, chocolate eyes full of radiance, taking in the boy's face. eric's visuals are totally no joke. he's handsome.
he knew that but now that he's actually looking at him, his heartbeat pounding against his chest makes all sense.
the dancer can't even accept him because's he scared of the truth unfolding. changmin doesn't deserve eric. if only he knew, eric feels the same way, a little.
"I could never hate you. it's just me who's scared," changmin lowers his head, unable to hold eye contact.
"I'm okay with you not wanting to tell them, only when you want, when your ready, okay?" eric holds changmin's face in both of his hands, brown eyes shifting from one to another, and then plants a kiss on his nose, causing the dancer to giggle.
"I hate you for being so good to me."
"oh god, stop. you're being so cheesy now."
another laugh and it's the brightest one, and yes, eric counted. "okay, but for real, are you okay?" the younger asks, his eyes full of concern.
"I didn't do good enough for our last reveal stage performance."
"changmin, you know you and haknyeon are the greatest dancers out of all of us. you did amazing, minnie. you don't always have to be perfect, as long as you pull it off where it didn't seem out-of-the context, then you're fine."
"okay fine. all of you guys are telling me the same thing, but it's not the same when you know from yourself, eric."
changmin's arms are folded across his chest, giving the boy a look that reads between agreement and disagreement, but what he gets instead is a heart-fluttering kiss on his lips, and him reaching out to ruffle his soft raven hair, bringing a smile to his face.
"do you mind teaching me that one move? I think I forgot how to . . . " eric asks, voice light-hearted, raising a brow, and grins.
"If you really forgot you wouldn't have done what you did right now perfectly," changmin says nonchalantly and yelps at eric lifting him again, "put me down!"
"nope."
"right now," changmin attempts to say in english, choosing to ignore the burning sensation in his cheeks, and how eric's big smile sends him a kind of warmth that melts the cold. just laugh, already, ric. "you're not going to let me go, aren't you?"
"at the moment, yeah. honestly speaking, I want us to be together, forever and always. my feelings for you are real, I hope you know that. you said the same, do you remember?"
changmin bumps his forehead with eric's, giving him a smile, "I do remember. I didn't forget when you confessed to me either. I did forget you're also scared, even though you're less afraid than me in a way," before he can finish his sentence, it gets cup off by a strong press of lips against his.
when eric pulls away, the quick kiss lingers there, doing something to changmin's heart, the pit of his stomach heating up. he doesn't know what he did to deserve him. all he knows is that sangyeon was right about them ending up kissing right before the ending of their reveal promotions.
and he's not afraid anymore.
"eric," he calls out.
"yeah?"
"I love you, like a lot, and I'm not going to say this again, just so you know. listen carefully, very carefully. I'm yours, only yours, and your mine. I want to be the one you go to when you're happy, sad, or mad or really anything too."
"changmin."
"let me finish! I want you to hold me and not think I'm avoiding or ignoring you. I want you to look at me the way you look at juyeon."
"looks like I'm not the only one who's jealous."
"shut up."
"of course, prince changmin," eric helps him back to his feet, figuring he should let go before they get caught (even if it's normal), but it's them, and reveal era is ending tonight. it's past two a.m, to clarify, again.
"and don't follow me to my shared bedroom with sunwoo, and kevin," he says, hurrying to the room. soft giggles leave his mouth as eric runs after him. changmin stops in his tracks, eric behind him abruptly stands straight, gaze trailing up to meet younghoon's.
just act like nothing was going on.
"you're still up, younghoon hyung?" eric casually starts the conversation, and changmin tears his gaze somewhere else, rather than on the floor because his cheeks have turned a darker shade of red. he doesn't want younghoon to suspect anything either, so he quickly slips into his shared bedroom, leaving eric with him.
"are you guys, a thing now?"
eric's bemused, genuinely. he never expected younghoon to ask that, instead of why are the both of you awake, question?
if he says yes, he'd be breaking the older's promise. as much as it hurts saying this, it's the only other way, and second, he knows younghoon's close to changmin too.
he can't be for sure, but deep down, he feels that the taller male has feelings for the dancer. then, there's chanhee.
this is why eric can't be positive about how younghoon feels for the both of them, so he plays his cards, carefully, at least he tries, "it's just one-sided, hyung."
"the way changmin looks at you is exactly the way juyeon looks at him. tell me otherwise, but I know it's not one-sided," and just like that, younghoon leaves back to their shared room as if it's nothing eric following behind into the bathroom before heading back to bed.
a pang of guilt hits his chest, realizing younghoon and juyeon both like changmin. his face heats up, realizing that changmin could have gotten with either of them, but he chose him.
accidentally, his eyes shift to his collarbone, in the mirror.
eric mouths a shit at the sight.
changmin basically did claim him as his.