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It had begun nearly three years ago.
Well, alright, it had actually begun long before that, with his betrothal to the woman of his dreams and his adoption of an seven-year-old girl, but three years ago had been when something beautifully unexpected had actually happened.
He’d become a father. Again. The traditional way.
Roxanne’s pregnancy had been a shock at first—he’d had no idea that males of his species could release eggs as well as semen, hadn’t even known he had small, hidden tentacles for that purpose—but apparently, something in his biology had finally fully recognized Roxanne as his mate, and things had begun to... happen.
That in itself had been a bit of a surprise at first. But he’d soon learned that, with a little work and practice, the tentacles could do things that made his wife wail in ecstasy, so he hadn’t questioned it.
He hadn’t even told Minion. The very idea felt too awkward even for their close relationship. And that reservation, it turned out, had been a mistake.
They hadn’t even realized Roxanne was expecting until she was six weeks along.
It had been wonderful, exciting, terrifying… This was supposed to be impossible—he was a different species, or at least a different genus!—and as far as Megamind knew this was the first time in all history one of his kind and a human had interbred.
His kind.
That was what had really made it so frightening: the soaring hope that Megamind couldn’t quite tamp down. He wanted so desperately for this to work. Yet his oversized brain constantly spun with questions, each more disturbing than the last. What if something went wrong? What if the fetus wasn’t viable? What if the child’s mixed DNA caused some sort of horrible, life-altering problem? Could the pregnancy and birth be harmful to Roxanne? To the baby? To both?
Was he being selfish?
His wife—his beautiful, fearless angel—had refused to let him dwell too long on the fears and the problems and the what-ifs. Instead, she’d urged him to useful activity, always the best alleviation for his anxieties, and he’d begun running weekly scans and tests, keeping up with their tiny child’s progress, watching vigilantly for any signs of danger.
He would have been lost without Roxanne. For years she had been his joy and his muse, but in those months she also became his rock. She’d been firm, from start to finish, in her insistence that she wanted this. When the baby started craving raw eggs—one of the blue alien’s favorite snacks—she hadn’t even hesitated, cracking half a dozen into a glass at a time and gulping them down. When, during the third trimester, her regular work became too much for her, she’d temporarily taken a position at the news desk.
Megamind, awed even more than usual by the miracle of his wife, had done everything he could to reciprocate. The blue hero had always been thoroughly dedicated to Roxanne’s happiness, but during those months he’d seen to her every need and comfort with yet greater care, immediately fulfilled every whim she happened to mention, guarded and cuddled her relentlessly. He’d pampered her until she laughingly told him she wasn’t a china doll.
(That, according to Minion, was also natural. Apparently, males of his kind became almost compulsive in their drive to provide and protect when their mates were with child.)
Then had come the night, incredible and terrifying, when Roxanne had batted him awake, her voice tight with pain and near-panic.
“It’s time!”
Those two words had frozen Megamind solid for exactly one-point-three seconds (he’d counted) and then spurred him into a riot of activity.
Brainbots rocketed around the Lair obeying shouted orders, Olivia, his adopted daughter, pounded down the stairs with a bag of hospital essentials Minion had packed weeks before. The henchfish himself was, if anything, even more frantic than his master.
Megamind had settled his wife into the back seat of the invisible car, a pillow from their bed supporting her against one door, and leaped into the drivers’ seat. He hadn’t even bothered changing out of his pajamas, pausing only long enough to extract a promise from Minion that he and Olivia would follow on the hoverbike before roaring off into the night.
It was a good thing it had been after two in the morning, the streets nearly empty because if anyone had blocked his way, Defender or not, Megamind might have run them off the road.
The blue genius had felt superfluous at the hospital, nurses and assistants scurrying around and loading his wife onto a gurney while he stood helplessly by. The doctor was called, but Roxanne wouldn’t allow him to begin immediately.
“Wait… Wait for the rest of them,” she insisted through another painful contraction.
Doctor Rasheed, a slim Middle-Eastern man who was acknowledged as the best obstetric surgeon in the city, had eyed her.
“The rest of them?”
His question had been answered moments later when Minion, Olivia, and Roxanne’s closest friend, Andro had burst through the door.
After their companions were hustled out of the operating room, Megamind was warned that he would not be able to stay during the procedure. His only response was to glare and tighten his grip on his wife’s hand.
To his credit, when the first incision was made, he didn’t punch Dr. Rasheed in the nose. But it was a close thing.
Mirielle Celestina Ritchi was delivered via cesarean—something he and Roxanne had been well-prepared for, given the baby’s large head—at 7:14 that morning. When Megamind took her into his trembling arms for the first time, cradling her perfect, tiny body against his narrow chest, he had openly wept for the first time since boyhood.
“She’s beautiful,” he informed his wife after she awoke from the anesthesia, his voice thick and soft. He moved close, laying their daughter in Roxanne’s arms, his eyes still fixed on her cherubic blue features—a few shades lighter than his own skin—and the fine black fuzz that promised a full head of hair.
“So little,” his wife watched their sleeping child with something like awe, then turned her gaze up to the blue man. “I love her so much already.”
“So much it hurts,” Megamind agreed. “She’s got your eyes,” he added, gently stroking Roxanne’s hair back from her face with a tender smile. “She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” He looked down at his wife, tears and wonderment mingled in his gaze. “I’m not alone,” he whispered, as if afraid saying it too loud would fracture this marvelous, impossible truth. “I’m not the last. When my time comes, my people won’t go extinct. I—” his voice caught. “Thank you, Sweetheart,” he finally managed. “My Beloved, my Precious Roxanne… Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
“Megamind!” Roxanne Ritchi’s voice shattered the blue hero’s contemplations.
Behind him, he could hear the heels of her workday pumps snapping against the Lair’s concrete floor. Metro City’s Defender kept his back to her, eyes focused on his gloved hands as they returned to their work, a slight smile teasing the corner of his mouth.
So she’d figured it out, had she? He’d known it wouldn’t take long—his wife was a truly brilliant woman: a fact that, even now, stirred desire in his veins—but he had hoped he would have a little more time to work on this particular project.
Maybe, if she could see it near completion, she wouldn’t be so quick to object.
“How was your day, Love?” he pretended not to notice his partner’s mood. Roxanne had a passionate soul, but these lightning-bolt flashes of temper dissipated quickly. Best to let it burn itself out.
He swore he could actually feel her crossing her arms under her ample chest.
“My day,” she informed him pointedly. “Isn’t the problem.”
He finally turned bright green eyes to meet her. “Oh, indeed?” he asked casually, prodding her ire just a little.
Gods, she was sexy when she was angry.
But, then, his Temptress was always sexy.
“Megamind, you know damned well it’s not!”
“What is the problem, then, Sweetheart?”
He already knew the answer, of course, but he wasn’t going to say it. That would be almost like admitting he agreed. Which he didn’t.
Drawing in a deep breath, his wife puffed out her adorable cheeks, blew air between her autumn-red lips slowly.
“This,” she gestured at his project. “This is! You could have at least told me what you had planned!”
He gave her a smile of pure innocence that neither of them believed for a second. “I did, Dearest, at breakfast four days ago.”
“No, you only said you were planning to build Celestina a birthday present! You didn’t say what!”
He grinned. “That would have ruined the surprise!”
“Ruined the—Megamind, this isn’t a surprise! More like a heart attack!”
“Really!” he laughed. “It’s not that bad.”
“It’s dangerous!”
“Hardly.”
“You can’t!”
“Oh-ho! Doubting the engineering skills of the Heroic Genius and Master of All Invention, are we?” he chuckled again.
“This isn’t funny!”
“But it will be fun.”
“Megamind!” his wife was exasperated now. “You are not building a motorcycle for a three-year-old!”
“You’re right,” he said blithely, returning to his work. “I’m not. Cerberus!” he added to a nearby brainbot. “Bring Daddy a five-eighths socket wrench!”
“Wait a second… You aren’t? But Minion said—”
Ah. Of course. The ever-fretful henchfish had already expressed his concerns about Megamind’s gift. Clearly, they were going to have to have a talk.
He looked over his shoulder at her. “No, I’m not.” At her raised eyebrow, he added: “I’m building a motorized tricycle. Completely different.”
“It is not!”
“Of course it is.”
“How, exactly?!”
Another grin tugged his lips. “The number of wheels.”
“Megamind!”
“Oh, come on, I made myself one when I was younger than Celie is now.”
“You also blew a hole in a prison wall and started a riot!” she reminded him.
“Ah, well, I guess I’ll leave off the laser cannon, then. I’m joking, I’m joking!” he chortled at her look.
Roxanne rolled her eyes and huffed, but she couldn’t quite hide the smile fighting to seep into her features. “You’re impossible.”
“Yet here I am! Your very own Wonder of the World!”
“You’re still not doing this. What if she gets hurt?”
“She won’t. I’m including a range of safety features, and I’m governing the speed to thirty miles per hour.”
“Thirty—Megamind! You are not letting our daughter go thirty miles per hour!”
Of course he wasn’t—that would be blatantly irresponsible—but his actual plans would seem less arguable by comparison.
Wayne had been right. Diplomacy really did have its uses.
Megamind would have to thank him later.
Damn.
Turning his attention back to his partner, the blue alien put on a thoughtful expression. “Alright, Love,” he nodded. “Twenty, then.”
“No!”
“Ten?”
“Five!” she glowered. “And not an inch more! That’s my final offer!”
“Okay, Sweetheart. Alright. Five miles an hour it is.”
“And no spikes!”
“Oh, come on, be reasonable.”
“Megamind,” she insisted. “No. Spikes. She’s three years old, for God’s sake!”
“Very well, Beloved, if I must.”
“And I want a seat belt!”
“Of course, Darling.”
“And she can only ride it inside the Lair!”
“Your wish is my command.”
She eyed him closely, one corner of her full lips quirking up. “You’re already building her an indoor driving course.” It wasn’t a question.
Megamind’s responding smile was three-quarters sly humor and one-quarter teasing triumph. “Brainbot Team Beta has been working on it all week.”
“God, I can’t believe I fell for that,” she shook her head, but her grin remained in place. “Is it too late to go back to outright objecting?”
“Ah-ah-ah,” he shook his finger playfully at her. “You already agreed!”
“You’re terrible,” she laughed.
“Villain,” Megamind gestured to himself.
“Former villain.”
“Bad Good Guy,” he insisted.
Roxanne lightly swatted his shoulder.
“What am I going to do with you?”
His grin turned feral, one brow lifting, eyes going dark with hungry promises. “I can think of a few things.”
Her own expression filled with coy seduction and wanton innocence.
“Hmm. What a shame you’re so very busy, then,” she ran one hand over his large, bald head, and Megamind made a growling moan.
The blue man rose to his feet, wrapping both arms around her. “You could always distract me.”
“I could,” she mused. “I could keep you so distracted you’ll never finish your nefarious plan.”
“My, my,” he rumbled, pulling her closer. “How positively wicked.”
“I learned from the best,” she answered, breath warm against his lips as she leaned in for a kiss.
“You,” the hero managed between gasps and fervent caresses of lips, “know what… I do to bad girls… don’t you?”
“Mmmm” Roxanne answered, deepening the kiss.
Megamind felt suddenly that he was long overdue for a break.
He had more than two weeks to finish his gift, after all; plenty of time. And right now he had a far more pressing matter to attend to.
“I still can’t believe Mom is letting you do this,” fourteen-year-old Olivia Ritchi informed her adopted father six days later.
She was dressed in a pair of old sweatpants, their black faded to a dark gray that showed hints of grease stains, and a worn t-shirt emblazoned with the words: “WARNING: Contents Under Pressure.” Her dark curls had been tamed into a ponytail, and more grease was smudged in a line across one mocha latte cheek.
“I can be charmingly persuasive when I want to be,” Megamind informed her with a grin.
“And deviously underhanded the rest of the time.”
“Oh, come on,” his expression shifted to a knowing smirk. “Would the Defender of Metrocity do a thing like that?”
“Do echidnas have four penises?” Olivia laughed.
The blue hero quirked one black eyebrow at her.
“The answer’s yes, Dad.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep!” she grinned.
“Huh. As if looking like a cross between a porcupine and an anteater wasn’t weird enough.” His quick, black-gloved fingers expertly welded the last coil square to a metal rotor before testing the temperature and handing it to his daughter. “Do I even want to know where you learned that one?”
“We had to do a paper for biology, and Mr. Freidman—you remember him, the one who thinks I show off—said that he expected mine to be, and I quote, ‘like nothing I’ve ever seen before in seventeen years of teaching.’ So I wrote about some of the planet’s weirdest reproductive processes.”
He huffed a laugh. “Am I going to get an angry letter from your shool?”
Olivia firmed her grip on the rotor as Megamind began deftly winding copper wire around the first square. “No, don’t worry,” she assured him. “Only Mr. Freidman is pissed.”
“Language, Livy.”
“Sorry. Only Freidman’s mad.”
“Glad to hear it. Keep that stator steady, Livy,” he added. “If we get a kink in the coil—”
“We have to do it all again. Believe me, I remember,” she grimaced. They’d had to respool the coils twice the first time she’d ever helped Megamind construct an alternator.
To his credit, the blue man hadn’t shown even a hint of frustration. “Practice makes perfect,” he’d told her. “And we’re getting a lot of practice.”
But he’d also insisted that she continue returning to his workroom every afternoon to help him until they got it right. Megamind firmly believed in the value of perseverance.
“I’ve got to know,” he asked his eldest daughter now as they worked. “How on Earth did you get away with that one? Your shool principal never struck me as the sort to appreciate that kind of humor.”
“There wasn’t any humor in it,” Olivia managed a half-shrug while still keeping her hands steady. At her father’s look, she added: “Well, okay, there was no obvious humor; nothing beyond nettling Mr. Freidman.”
“Ah.”
“My writing was very scientific, and I told my principal that it was a natural part of biology and ought to be viewed in a scholarly way,” she grinned. “Principal Yardley actually bought it.”
“Officially, as the Defender of this city, I have to tell you that that was very disrespectful and impolite.”
“And unofficially?”
He chuckled. “Freidman had it coming. Any teacher who discourages a student because she’s too smart for his class needs just a little taste of restrained villainy.” He grinned again. “Has anyone ever told you you’re entirely too much like your brilliant blue dad?”
“Aww, not too much,” despite her best efforts, the corners of Olivia’s mouth twitched. “As long as I’m not bald!”
“Oh ho! Now you’re asking for it!” the blue man chortled. “Remind me to have the brainbots chase you when we’re done!”
“Okay. Sure. Right. I’ll totally do that.”
“No, you won’t.”
“You’re right. I won’t.”
They shared another laugh.
“Do you have any plans for next Saturday?” Megamind asked.
“Not yet. Why? Do you need help keeping the crumb-munchers in line?” That was the day Celestina’s party was planned for.
“Always,” his features pulled into a wry smile. “Supervillains and natural disasters I can handle, but twelve sugar-high kindergarteners? That is well above my pay grade!”
Despite being only three, Celestina was already attending school with five- and six-year-olds. She’d inherited her father’s genius.
“Just offer them rides on the hoverbike,” Olivia smiled. “That always keeps them entertained.”
“And that would leave Minion and your poor mother alone on the ground with eleven energetic little rascals.”
“I guess I could help,” Olivia made a show of sighing.
“What if I told you there was a shopping trip, dinner out, and a movie in it for you?”
“Now you’re talking!” The adolescent girl mused. “I could probably even talk a couple of friends into helping. Is that okay?”
“Of course! I’ll extend the same offer to include them.”
“It’s a deal! But you have to include Burton’s Books in the shopping trip!”
He stared at her. “What kind of outing would it be without a bookstore involved?”
“The wrong kind,” she grinned.
“You really are like my Mini-Me,” he informed her.
“Welcome to my Secret Lair!”
“Hey!" he chortled. "This is my Lair, thank you. I’m Doctor Evil! You’re Mini-Me!”
Olivia stuck out her tongue.
“Alright,” Megamind finished the coil. “Help me attach this to the magnetic rotor, will you? And do you remember what comes after that?”
“We mount it on the crankshaft.”
“That’s my girl. Brainbots! Daddy needs a Phillip’s head screwdriver and a three-sixteenths wrench!”
“Um, Sir?” Minion’s voice crackled over his boss’s holowatch on Friday morning.
Megamind groaned and rolled over. Checking the time, he let out another sound of protest. The Defender of Metro City had been dealing with one call of duty after another until after four a.m., and even he preferred getting more than three hours of sleep after that kind of activity.
Pressing the stem on his watch, he replied blearily: “What is it, Minion?”
“I’m sorry to wake you, Sir, but Ma’am has already left for work, and… well… Do you know where your daughter is?”
“At shool, I expect?”
“The little one, Sir.”
“But isn’t she also at—Oh. Oh, curse it, I forgot this was a teachers’ work day!” The blue man leaped out of bed. “Okay,” he continued into the watch as he struggled into his pants one-handed. “Tell me: do I even want to know where my youngest daughter is?”
“No, Sir, but I think you need to know.”
“Let me guess: in the birthday cake batter?”
“Oh, she finished that off an hour ago while I was helping Mrs. Ritchi out the door. I’m making a new batch.” Megamind could almost hear the grin in the henchfish’s voice. “I found her in the control room standing in your chair and banging flashing indicator lights on your console. With a hammer. She told me she was playing Wack-a-Mole.”
“I will regret taking her to that kiddie arcade for the rest of my days,” Megamind groused good-humoredly. “Alright, I’ll be down as soon as I can. Where is she now?”
“I’ve got her back in the kitchen with me, but I could really use—No, no, no! Get away from that icing bowl, Young Lady! That’s for your birthday cake!”
“But Unca Minioooon!” Celestina’s voice protested in response.
“She’s got your sweet tooth, Sir,” the henchfish informed his friend. “But she certainly gets as hyper and fussy as a human if she has too much—Miss Celestina! The kitchen counter is not a playground! Come to Uncle Minion! Come here and be a good… Are you eating pure sugar?!”
Megamind tried, he really did, but nothing could stop the deep laugh that rolled up from his belly.
“Sir, this is hardly funny!”
“It’s a little funny. Admit it.”
“I’ve already given her four cookies with her breakfast!” Minion objected. “She’s going to be sugar-high all day!” Like her father, Celestina needed more glucose than humans. Unlike him, there were limits to how much she should consume.
As if to punctuate the henchman’s words, a childish giggle echoed over the speaker. It was followed by a loud, rhythmic banging and belted lyrics.
“Here I am! Rock you like a hurry-cane!”
“My good pots are not drums, Little Miss!” the aquatic sidekick’s voice was slightly distant as if he was shouting over his shoulder. The banging abruptly ended. “Please hurry, Sir,” he added directly into his watch. “And stop laughing!”
“Oh, please tell me one of the brainbots is getting footage of this!” Megamind enthused.
The fish huffed. “I’m glad you find it so amusing,” he informed his friend. “I’ll send her to your workroom so she can give you a live concert.”
“You will not, Minion! I have to put the final touches on her surprise today!”
“Well, you have to do something, Sir!”
“I know, I know… I hate being the disciplinarian—it’s hard when they're so cute—but she’ll have to learn. Take heart, my Fantastic Fish!” he added. “The Terrible Twos are almost over!”
“I’m not so sure three is going to be much different, Sir. Aaaand now she’s into the chocolate drops. I have to go.”
Megamind chuckled again before making a slight adjustment to the watch face and calling his cyborgs to the rescue.
“Brainbots, initiate Princess Distraction Protocol Level 4!”
“A unicorn!” Celestina squealed as a pair of brainbots swept away a draped cloth to reveal her present.
She wasn’t wrong. Megamind had customized the chassis of the motorized tricycle to look like a pale blue equine with a darker blue mane and tail. Chromed hooves were tucked under its stylized body, and spiraling from its forehead was…
“I thought we agreed no spikes?” Roxanne asked.
“It’s more of a horn, really,” her husband grinned.
The woman couldn’t hide the smile creeping onto her features. “Goofball.”
“And it’s dull,” he assured her. “Besides, you said ‘spikes’ plural, so—OOF!”
Celestina had just launched herself at her father in a fierce hug, clinging to his knees so tightly she nearly overbalanced him.
“Thank you, Daddy!” She gazed up at Megamind, her pale blue cheeks flushed rosy with joy, the sapphire eyes she’d inherited from her mother shining.
“You’re welcome, Princess,” Megamind scooped his little girl into his arms. “It’s from Mommy, too.”
“Thank you, Mommy!” she made little grabbing motions with one hand, and Roxanne moved closer to pet her daughter’s hair.
“I’m glad you like it.”
“Can I ride her?” the little girl turned her ocean gaze back to her father.
They were at a pavilion at Hill op Park—one of the few downsides to being Defender of Metro City was that Megamind still had to keep his Lair secret, meaning events like this could never be held at his home—so the blue man looked a question at his wife.
Clearly, either Roxanne felt this was a reasonable exception to the Indoors Only rule they’d agreed upon, or she was just as helpless against their youngest child’s adorable enthusiasm as Megamind was himself, because she nodded.
The hero gently set Celestina back down. “Of course you can, my Little Blueberry! Let me show you how to make her go!”
A tug at his cape turned the hero to find one of the party guests, a little girl with masses of honey-blonde hair and freckles, gazing up at him.
“Can I please ride on the hoverbike, Mr. Megamind?”
“I don’t know, can you?” As the Defender of Metro City, the hero had made it his mission to promote both good manners and good grammar among every child under his influence.
The little girl—Anna, he thought her name was—scrunched up her face in thought for a moment. “May I please ride on the hoverbike?”
“Yes, you may!”
This announcement was met with a chorus of “me toos” from the other children. Megamind’s small aircraft was a favorite attraction, and he had long ago learned to arrive early whenever he was the one to drop his daughter off at school so that he could give a few of her eager classmates a quick flight.
At Roxanne’s insistence, he’d even installed seat belts.
Olivia and her friends were trying to corral the sugar-fueled youngsters into some sort of order. Two other adolescent girls had volunteered to help them with the party; clearly, Megamind’s bribe had worked.
Well, the blue man also suspected that one of them, a brown-eyed girl named Danica, had a little crush on him. She never seemed to pass up a chance to spend an afternoon around the Defender, but blushed and stumbled over her words whenever he spoke to her.
It was unspeakably awkward, but Wayne had assured him that this sort of thing simply came with the Heroic territory.
The realization didn’t make it feel any less weird.
Clearing his thoughts, Megamind knelt in the grass to show his youngest daughter the simple startup procedure, and she was off, zipping circles along the path ringing the pavilion.
“Don’t go too far, Celie!” he called. “Stay where we can see you!”
Celestina, busy tearing about as fast as the governed motor would allow (five miles per hour exactly) didn’t respond. Her thick black hair and her wild giggles trailed in her wake. Several brainbots, bowging excitedly, gave chase.
Confident in his cyborgs’ abilities to herd and protect the little girl, Megamind turned his attention to warming up his hoverbike.
“Alright,” he grinned at the gaggle of bouncing, eager children. “Who’s first? Anna? Come on, then!”
The blue hero’s heart rose along with his aircraft, a wide smile imprinting itself on his face. With one of his daughter’s—his! His own little girl’s—friends clinging to him, shrieking with delight, he glanced down at his best friend, his beautiful wife, and his eldest child.
For a man who’d once felt alone in the world, he’d certainly done an incredible job building himself a family. And the former supervillain, once the last of his kind, stranded on an alien planet, knew he was home.