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“Pizza’s here!” House announced excitedly at the knock on his apartment door.
Keeping his eyes fixed on the television, which was currently playing footage from a monster truck rally, Wilson listened as House got up from the couch beside him to limp across the room and over to the door. Wilson could hear House open it, make a snappy remark to the poor soul who delivered the pizza, take the food, and slam the door closed with his cane.
When House appeared in Wilson’s line of sight again, he finally glanced away from the TV to watch House set the pizza box down on the coffee table. House slowly lowered himself down onto the couch with a grunt.
“I still can’t believe you tried to get me to order a pineapple pizza,” House grumbled with a glare aimed at Wilson.
“It’s actually good, House!” Wilson defended. “You should try it again.”
“I tried it once and that was enough. How you can enjoy those little slices of hell on top of a perfectly fine, innocent pizza, I will never understand.” House leaned forward to open up the box, revealing a large, pepperoni pizza. “If you ever order one, I’m never speaking to you again.”
“Pineapple pizza is good, House, and I stand firm by my decision.”
Shaking his head in disgust, House took a slice of pizza out of the box, Wilson following him shortly after.
They both had bottles of beer to accompany their dinner as they watched the monster truck rally together side by side, and it was proving to be a very pleasant night, just like always.
However, when Wilson was on his third slice, House suddenly hit him with an unexpected question.
“What would things be like if we were dating?”
The question was asked as soon as Wilson had begun taking a drink from his bottle of beer, and he ungracefully choked on the drink.
“Are you... are you asking me out?” Wilson asked in a very confused tone while he wiped the dribbled beer from his chin.
“Nope,” House replied with a very innocent-acting shrug. “I’m just asking what would change if we were together romantically.” He was eyeing Wilson as if this were a perfectly normal question to ask.
Wilson set his almost-finished beer down on the coffee table and took a tentative bite of the slice of pizza he had in his hand to give himself a moment to think.
“I don’t know,” Wilson began, swallowing the bite he took. “I guess... I guess not that much would change, we’re already sort of like a couple.” He gave an unsure shrug.
House was still eyeing him contemplatively, and his stare was making Wilson a little nervous. House wasn’t saying anything, so Wilson continued to talk, although he was tripping over his words slightly.
“I mean, we hang out practically every night, and we’re always together at the hospital. We rely on each other, we enjoy each other’s company the most, and we’ve been through a lot together.”
As Wilson spoke, he realized that wow, he and House really were a lot like a couple. The only thing they were really missing was an official agreement that they were actually dating.
“So you’re saying that we’re basically already together,” House said thoughtfully.
“Well, sort of. And if we were to be officially dating I guess we would do stuff like... kiss.”
“And have sex,” House stated casually, taking a sip of beer.
Wilson could feel his cheeks flush slightly.
“Well, yeah, and that, I suppose,” he sputtered. “But of course there would be more to our romantic relationship than sex. For instance, we would probably move in together permanently, share a bed... we’d get to wake up together, we’d have more tender moments, and I’d do things like convince you to help make breakfast in the mornings so we can make it together....” Wilson realized he was beginning to vocalize his fantasies regarding dating House, so he quickly shut himself up, his face turning red again. He grabbed his beer, took a large gulp, and tried to stare at the television nonchalantly.
“Seems like you’ve been thinking an awful lot about us dating, Wilson,” House responded in a teasing voice.
Wilson was quick to jump to his own defense, turning his head rapidly to face House.
“No, no! You asked what would change if we were to officially date, so I gave you examples of general things we might do as a couple!”
House just merely blinked at him. He was amused, Wilson could tell.
“And like I said,” Wilson continued in an attempt to try and save himself, “we’re basically already a couple, if we made it official, not much would change — we would just kiss and cuddle and stuff.” At House’s intense stare, Wilson added “And we would probably have sex, like you said. So, I think that’s what things would be like if we were together romantically.”
“Y’know,” House began, an edge of mischievousness to his voice, “since we’re already practically dating, why not just have sex with each other? We basically flirt with each other regularly, this would just be a simple step above.”
Unfortunately for Wilson, he had been chewing the last bite of his pizza slice when House said that, and he almost began to choke on it.
He’s planning to say these things when I take a bite or drink, I know it.
“Well,” Wilson said, trying to level himself, “sex is a pretty intimate thing.”
House snorted.
“Not always; hookers exist, you know.”
Wilson rolled his eyes.
“I know that, House — of course not all sex is intimate — but I’m saying that if we have it, it’s just going to end up being intimate no matter what. This won’t just be a ‘friends with benefits’ kind of thing; it’ll end up messy, I know it.”
House was watching Wilson intently, urging him to continue, so he did.
“I mean, come on, we’re best friends; we’ve been through a lot together, and I’m sure if we have sex, it’ll turn into something... I don’t know, special.”
Wilson began to stare at the ground absentmindedly, his mind conjuring up the image of what it would be like to actually have sex with House — what it would be like to feel flushed skin against flushed skin, what it would be like to lay messy kisses over House’s bare chest, what it would be like to be on top and-
House suddenly snapped his fingers right in front of Wilson’s face, abruptly pulling the man out of his fantasies.
“Wilson, are you even paying attention?”
Wilson blinked at him for a moment, flustered, his face flushed.
“Of- of course!”
House narrowed his eyes at him.
“Were you thinking about us having-“
“No!” Wilson shouted a little too quickly. “I mean, no, of course not,” he said again, trying to sound calmer this time.
House just continued to narrow his eyes at Wilson, but Wilson swore he caught a flicker of amusement in House’s eyes — he even caught a little smirk, too. Shaking it off, House continued.
“So you’re saying that if we were to hypothetically have sex, we’d develop feelings for each other?”
“Well, in this hypothetical situation, I guess, yeah. Like I said, during sex we would be close and... experiencing each other in a whole new way. If we try and do that as friends on a regular basis, some things are bound to happen.”
House nodded slightly.
“So that would mean that, in this hypothetical situation, we are, at the very least, attracted to other men.”
“I guess so.”
“So, in this situation — which is all hypothetical — are you attracted to both men and women, or exclusively men?”
Panic began to settle in Wilson’s chest, his heart speeding up slightly.
“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”
“This is a hypothetical situation, Wilson, I’m just asking if this hypothetical version of you is bisexual or gay.”
Wilson rolled his eyes to try and feign a look of being unconcerned, but he could feel sweat form on his brow.
“Fine. Let’s say that, in this hypothetical, fake situation, I’m gay. I am exclusively attracted to men.” Wilson tried to give a relaxed shrug.
“You being gay makes sense; you’ve had three failed marriages, after all,” House teased, but Wilson knew he was right.
He let out a huff, but didn’t try to dispute House.
“Alright, well, what are you in this situation? Gay or bisexual?” Wilson asked.
“Oh, bisexual all the way,” House declared rather enthusiastically. “Everyone’s hot.”
Hope fluttered in Wilson’s chest for a moment before he relaxed himself to continue their odd conversation.
“So we’re both attracted to men — hypothetically — which means that we can both totally be attracted to each other.”
House nodded in full agreement.
“So that means,” Wilson continued, “if we decide to have sex as platonic individuals, there’s a very likely chance we’ll develop feelings for each other. There.”
“But what if,” House began with a hint of a challenge in his eyes, “we were both attracted to each other in the first place?”
Wilson’s heart sped up again.
“What do you mean exactly?” he asked suspiciously.
House smirked slightly.
“Let’s say, hypothetically, we’re both romantically attracted to each other right now without the other knowing, and one of us proposes the idea of having sex as just friends. Are you opposed to that?” House shot Wilson a look, his eyebrows raised.
“W-e-ell,” Wilson started, stretching out the word. “If I were to have feelings for you — in this hypothetical situation, of course — I would, of course, want to have sex with you, but I probably wouldn’t want to have sex with you as just friends, because one, I wouldn’t want to make things weird between us and possibly ruin the relationship we currently have, and two, on the off chance you actually reciprocate my feelings, I would want our first time to be... special. Y’know, I would want us to actually be together for our first time.”
House let out a small “Hmm” of interest as he grabbed a slice of pizza from the box — Wilson was pretty sure this was his fifth damn slice — before cramming it into his mouth rather ungracefully. As House spoke, his mouth full of greasy pizza, he spat crumbs all over the place.
“So you’re saying that if we were to have sex with the platonic relationship we have right now going on, it would make things awkward between us?” He swallowed his slice and washed it down with a large swig of beer, finishing the bottle.
“I don’t know,” Wilson responded, “and that’s why I’d be tentative to have sex like this. Who knows how it could change our relationship?”
“Earlier you said things would get too intimate between us.” House narrowed his eyes. “Would our relationship become too awkward or too intimate?”
Wilson decided to finish off his beer bottle as well, taking an astonishingly large gulp from it. He felt gross from all that pizza and a little tipsy from the beer.
“Both,” he declared, practically slamming the empty beer bottle onto the table.
House furrowed his brow. He was engaged in this discussion, Wilson could tell.
“Elaborate on that.”
“Okay, so,” Wilson began to explain, “in this situation, if we have sex while attracted to each other without the other knowing — presumably because we don’t want to admit we have feelings for each other — it would totally become really close.” In his tipsiness, Wilson began to gesticulate wildly with his hands as he spoke. “And afterwards, since we got to see that emotional and intimate state of each other, it would put our relationship in an awkward place — we would be way too intimate to keep the normal, platonic relationship we have right now, but since we’re not technically a couple because we won’t admit our feelings, we’re still stuck as just friends.”
House nodded along.
“But,” Wilson continued, “I think that it’s totally possible for us to have sex in this situation and have it all end up okay, you know? Nothing’s awkward, and we have a great time.”
House nodded.
“I can see that.”
He was silent for a moment, eyes far-off and distant as he contemplated something. Wilson could practically see the gears turning in his head.
“Let’s say we finally declare our deep, burning love for each other afterward,” House said faux-dramatically, “and decide to become a couple. Would that be awkward?”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Wilson took a moment to picture that entire situation; it wasn’t very difficult, actually, as he had imagined it many times before in his free time.
“No,” he stated firmly.
House’s eyebrows lifted slightly with intrigue.
“You are one-hundred percent confident with that answer,” he observed.
“I am, yeah. I just think that if we’re upfront about our feelings after sex and we start dating, we would be able to do couple-y things like kiss and cuddle and have sex regularly with no trouble at all; like I said before, we’re basically already a couple. If I knew you shared my feelings, I’d be able to kiss you, no problem.”
House gave Wilson a casual shrug.
“Same here.”
Wilson tapped a tune with his fingers on the couch for a moment as a silence settled between them.
“So... does all that answer your question?”
“Yup,” House replied with emphasis on the ‘p’.
Wilson swore he saw a flicker of mischievousness in House’s eyes.
He’s plotting something.
They both sat in brief silence again, Wilson growing more suspicious by the second.
“I have another question,” House announced.
Wilson sighed to appear annoyed, but he was actually on edge because of the look in House’s eyes — it was the look he got often that showed he was ready to cause trouble.
“What is it, House?”
“So all of that was hypothetical, right?” His eyes were narrowed, focused on Wilson like he were prey and House were a predator, ready to strike with whatever question followed this one.
“Yes, why?” Wilson narrowed his eyes back, his senses wary.
“That would mean you don’t have feelings for me for real, correct?”
Panic settled in Wilson’s chest.
He knows, doesn’t he?
“Right,” Wilson lied.
He watched as House inched closer to him on the couch.
“Sooooooo, based on what you said earlier, I could kiss you right now, and since you don’t have feelings for me, it won’t be awkward?”
That bastard, Wilson hissed in his head as House smirked devilishly at him.
“I guess not,” Wilson responded, trying to keep it cool as best as he could — which, admittedly, wasn’t going well.
House inched even closer.
“So I can kiss you?”
Wilson swallowed.
“I - I guess so, yeah.”
House finally shifted himself close enough to Wilson so their thighs were pressed together, their hands instinctively resting on each other’s knees.
House’s face was so close to Wilson’s that Wilson could see each different shade of blue speckled in House’s eyes; he could see that his pupils were dilated in what Wilson assumed was excitement, and he took in the way House’s lips parted slightly.
As their faces slowly grew closer and closer, Wilson swore he caught a spark of nervousness in House’s eyes; Wilson found that endearing.
Finally, as Wilson’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest, their lips met.
Both of them sank into the kiss immediately.
Wilson delighted in the feel of House’s lips — they were chapped, rough, and they moved with precision, along with a surprising amount of tenderness Wilson never expected from House. He tasted primarily like pizza and beer, but behind that, he tasted slightly sweet, and Wilson let the flavor bathe his lips.
Wilson was not complaining at how quickly House became handsy; he had one hand planted firmly on Wilson’s thigh and the other cupping his cheek, his fingers calloused and comforting. His hands moved occasionally to stroke Wilson’s knee or tussle his hair.
Wilson had his own hands up in House’s hair, his fingers playing with the unruly strands. His desire to have House even closer to him grew strong, and he pulled House’s face impossibly close, mashing their lips together.
When Wilson felt House laugh through his nostrils, his breath tickling Wilson’s upper lip, Wilson laughed, too. It was difficult to kiss when they were both grinning like idiots, but that made the experience all the more endearing — they were still House and Wilson, after all, and as they smiled familiarly like that, all of Wilson’s fears vanished.
The kiss soon grew more intense as House’s fingers began to play with the buttons on Wilson’s shirt, a promise to undo them later.
Wilson had shifted himself so he was propped up on his knees to kiss House easier, and the new position gave him height over House that he loved.
Their lips had parted even further, and with his hands holding the sides of House’s face, Wilson began to maneuver his tongue in there. House let out a deep groan at that, and joined him.
Wilson could feel House’s fingers slide over to his neck, where they undid his tie. House pulled it off of Wilson’s neck, the material sliding against his skin, and tossed it in a random direction.
With a pounding heart and flushed, sweat-dappled skin, Wilson moved his hands down to begin an attempt at sliding House’s t-shirt over his head. Before he got very far, House suddenly drew back, disconnecting their eager mouths. Upset at this, a faint whine sounded involuntarily from the back of Wilson’s throat. He opened his eyes to see House staring at him in thought.
“You okay?” Wilson asked, his words breathy.
House blinked at him, his eyes mischievous again.
“So this is still just a test run to prove that things won’t be awkward, right?”
Along with Wilson, House was also panting. His hair was even scruffier than normal from the way Wilson had coursed his fingers through it, his face was red, and his lips were swollen from their kiss; seeing House in this state made Wilson feel proud that he was able to do that to him.
“Uh-huh.”
House moved his head toward Wilson’s again, but this time he brought his face over to his neck, where he pressed his lips against the soft skin right underneath Wilson’s earlobe.
Wilson sucked in a breath at the feeling.
“So this is all just platonic?” House asked in a low, rumbly voice that Wilson had never heard before; he realized that it was probably an aroused tone.
“I guess it is,” Wilson responded. His voice was shaky, as House was beginning to slowly kiss down his neck.
House let out a “Hmm” of contemplation, and his breath tickled Wilson’s throat, causing a shiver to run down his spine. Starting at the top and working down, House began to slowly unbutton each button on Wilson’s shirt. He moved his lips from Wilson’s neck down to his chest, kissing all over the exposed skin. Wilson loved the feel of House’s rough stubble against his bare skin. Eyelids fluttering shut, Wilson let out a contented sigh.
Finally, when House unbuttoned every button, he pulled the shirt off of Wilson’s shoulders and arms and threw it behind the couch.
“It’s gonna be a pain finding each article of clothing later,” Wilson chuckled breathily.
“I like giving you a challenge,” House grumbled into Wilson’s clavicle.
Laughing softly again, Wilson began to gently push House down, lowering the man onto his back; House complied happily.
Straddling House — and making sure to stay clear of House’s bad leg — Wilson began to bite softly at House’s neck, and delighted in the soft growl that emitted from him.
He likes that.
“Wilson,” House breathed.
“Hmm...?”
“Do you think we should —ah— take this test over to the bedroom?”
Breath catching in Wilson’s throat, he brought his head up to look down at House.
“You- you sure?”
Eyes half-lidded and twinkling with excitement, House smirked at Wilson.
“Are you?”
Thinking back to their earlier conversation, Wilson thought about what he had said; he had told House that if he had feelings for him, he wouldn’t want to have sex in fear of ruining their relationship. But he realized that his fears were stupid; nothing could break their bond — even while making out, they were still able to laugh with each other.
He wanted to have sex with House — he wanted that closeness and intimacy and vulnerability. He wanted House.
“I’m sure,” Wilson responded, voice steady and confident.
“Good,” House replied as shifted his hips to rock against Wilson slightly — an act that drew a gasp from Wilson. “Because I am totally ready for some completely platonic sex with my male best-friend.”
Wilson couldn’t help but laugh.
**********
Lying in House’s bed with nothing but the sheets to cover them, Wilson let out a contented sigh. House was lying flat on his back and holding Wilson close; Wilson had an arm wrapped securely around House’s waist, his head resting on House’s bare chest. Rubbing soft circles into the flesh of Wilson’s back with his calloused fingers, House buried his nose into Wilson’s hair and let out a happy sigh of his own.
Even though they had spent a bit of time cleaning up, euphoria was still coursing through every muscle in Wilson’s body. Eyelids heavy, he stretched his jaw in a wide yawn.
“I gave you the orgasm of a lifetime, huh?” House boasted, his voice teasing.
Wilson let out a snort.
“Oh, please, House, I had you yelling my name. Loudly. I’m sure the neighbors heard you.”
“So, what, because you were on top, you now have the right to be smart with me?”
Wilson kissed House’s chest.
“Yep,” he replied. Looking up at House with a playful glint in his eyes, he teased House further. “And hey, you liked being on the bottom.”
House met his gaze.
“So? Maybe I did, Wilson.”
Laughing, Wilson buried his face into the crook of House’s neck. House began to play with Wilson’s hair.
After lying in comfortable silence for a little bit, House spoke.
“So, our conversation from earlier — none of that was hypothetical, was it?”
Thinking back on it all — admitting he was gay, telling House he had feelings for him, letting it be known that he wanted sex and a relationship from House — Wilson met House’s stare with complete confidence.
“Nope,” he stated.
House grinned at him.
“Good, because I’ve got a little secret, too: I wasn’t being hypothetical, either.”
Wilson smirked at him.
“What a way to start our relationship, huh?”
“You know I don’t like to do anything the normal way, Wilson.”
Wilson snorted.
“Yeah, I’ve learned that.”
House was silent for a moment as he continued to curl strands of Wilson’s hair between his fingers.
“So, if all of the things you said were actually true, that means you are totally and helplessly attracted to me.”
Shooting House a glare, Wilson struggled to hold back a smile.
“The same goes for you about me, House.”
House gave Wilson a sly grin.
“You like meeee,” House sing-songed.
“I had sex with you,” Wilson retorted, “that’s kind of a clear indicator that I’m in love with you.”
Staring at Wilson for a moment, House just broke into song again.
“You love meeee!”
Wilson sighed — God help him, he really did.