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I
Their flat was frankly, awful. It was all one room and they had to sleep on a bedroll on the floor together. The windows let in cold air. Every wall had a crack in it and it seemed like every flat surface had a layer of grime impossible to scrub away no matter how hard Percy tried.
He was still recovering from a fit he had earlier in the week. It had made moving in considerably more difficult but it was fortunate that they barely had much more than the clothes on their backs. Since settling into the dingy little room, Monty had gone out job searching every day. Percy felt a little guilty, that he was still not feeling up to bracing the cooling weather.
To make it up to him, he had busied himself with trying to scrub the flat clean though every time he wrung out the harsh cloth he was using, the murky water just kept coming. He could feel sweat building at the back of his neck and he would have to lay down soon. He was already feeling the strain in his muscles.
They’ve been living off of sweet buns and tea for the past couple of days and Percy wondered if he should perhaps try to make something a little more elaborate. He had no idea how to get started on anything though. He cursed himself, when he had the opportunity to go watch the cook work, he had chosen to steal away with Monty. Surely, he should have stayed at least once and then he would be able to make something?
They have some ingredients, Monty had gone shopping yesterday. He came home very excited about the concept of a farmers market. Those kinds of things were just done for them in their youth, there was some novelty in doing it themselves. They did not have a pantry or a cupboard, so the couple of things they had sat against one corner. He scanned the things and then carefully picked up a box of eggs. Surely, an omelette would not be difficult to do?
He placed the box on the table and spun around, searching for a skillet. Their landlady was a very lovely elder woman. He supposed that they lucked out with having the flat, no matter how tiny all to themselves. She had set them up with some essentials already in the room once she saw Monty and the full force of his dimples. Just two lads, new to London, needing a bit of help and kindness. He smiled to himself upon locating the skillet. It was old and beat up but still good.
He spun towards the fireplace and set upon lighting a fire. He was usually the one to do it, since they arrived. Fire still made Monty a little weary. Percy on the other hand was a little more practiced by now. Soon enough a small fire was stoked. He waited for it to be big enough so that the skillet wouldn’t immediately put it out and carefully held it up over the flame.
He watched the skillet warm up some when he realised that the eggs were still up on the table. He leant back a little, wobbling dangerously with the hot skillet in hand but eventually managed to grab the box. Crisis averted. He immediately met crisis number two. They had no stand for the fireplace apart from one for a deep pot. He would have to hold the skillet, which meant he had to crack the eggs with one hand. No big deal right? He had six eggs. There were two of them, which meant plenty of spares just in case. Which was fortunate because he dropped the first egg he had picked up and it bounced off of the corner of the fireplace and splattered. He cursed.
Slowly, he decided to change position to be more stable and kneeled on the wooden floor. Much better. This time the egg cracked. Before he managed to drop it onto the skillet, it slipped out from the crack and onto the floor. He huffed. He was supremely messing this up, getting egg everywhere. He almost attempted lifting it with how perfectly intact it seemed on the flooring but he knew better than to attempt to eat something off of this ancient, grimy floor.
“Come on Newton” he grumbled. He bit his lip in concentration. This time he cracked the egg and hovered it over the skillet right away. The egg hit metal right away and began to sizzle. It was then that Percy realised this was not really an omelette. The ones he had back with his aunt and uncle were one colour, as though the whites and yolk had been mixed. He darted his head around and located a teaspoon, resting against Monty’s abandoned teacup. He grabbed it and started to wiggle it around the egg. The yolk was pretty tough. He swirled the teaspoon a little harder, squeaking when he managed to launch a bit of egg white right across the room.
He stirred too hard then. The yolk had broken though and was now leaking into the egg white a little sadly. He stirred longer. Suddenly he realised he was bringing up bits of egg white, opaque and cooked through. This was not the way he wanted this to go. It seemed that instead of an omelette he was now making scrambled eggs. When Monty got home, he could pretend that was always the plan.
He kept wiggling the spoon and the egg kept cooking and soon enough he had some pretty decent looking scrambled eggs. He was rather proud of himself. Now to serve it. He pulled the skillet away from the fire and sat there with it in hand a little awkwardly. He had nowhere to put it. Surely he could place it on the floor while he went to get a plate, yes? The egg was in the skillet. It would not touch the floor. He nodded to himself and placed the skillet down. The metal gave a violently ferocious hiss upon making contact with the wood. Percy quickly pulled it up from the floor and groaned upon seeing the round singe mark made on their floor.
They would have to buy a rug.
He frowned in concern and looked around. Their windowsill was stone, surely that would not burn. He nodded and placed the skillet there, pleased to not hear a similarly violent sound.
He and Monty were the proud owners of two mismatched plates, one with a rather impressive chip in it. He carefully picked out the non-chipped plate patterned in flowers to place the scrambled eggs on. Once arranged nicely next to a slab of two day old bread and a new cup of tea, the entire meal looked rather lovely if he did say so himself. Monty would be home any minute now, so Percy sat down, waiting for him.
The time ticked by and he rocked a little. Cooking was tiring work. It had occurred to him that he never tried the scrambled eggs. They looked nice, not even burned so by logic, they should be fine to eat. He leaned over and pinched a little bit between his fingers and brought them up to his mouth. They tasted like...nothing. Nothing at all. They were gross. He wondered what he did wrong, how were they different from the ones he ate at home? Those were just as soft and cooked through and salty-
Salt.
Percy did not salt the eggs. He was not even sure if they owned salt. Maybe he could rush out to buy some before Monty got home?
The door opened.
Damnation.
“Honey, I’m home” Monty sang, his lips stretched in a wide smile. Percy’s chest stopped a little. Then he remembered the awful scrambled eggs. What would Monty think, now that Percy tried to poison him? Perhaps he could move them out of the way? No Monty was pulling the plate towards him now.
“Is this for me darling?”
“Oh, it’s awful don’t-” he started but Monty was already shoving the scrambled eggs into his mouth. He paused a little and Percy could die on the spot. “I forgot to salt them. They’re disgusting.” He sighed and looked down.
Monty just looked more determined.
“They’re fine. Thank you for the meal.” Then he was putting more of them in his mouth even though he shuddered. Then another mouthful. Percy could hardly watch him torture himself like this but it made his chest ache in a peculiar way.
“The tea is fantastic, by the way” he added and Percy laughed
“At least one thing came out right.” He was not sure why he sounded all watery. It was quite pathetic to cry over ruined scrambled eggs.
“I mean it, Perce, thank you for the meal. It’s just what I needed.” Who knew that his lover, the ex-rake, could be so compassionate? “In fact, I have something for you too.”
That got Percy’s attention. Something for him? He hoped that it was not expensive, they really could not afford anything extravagant. His concern must have been evident on his face because Monty laughed softly and pulled his coat apart. He then carefully eased out a slightly tattered bouquet of wildflowers. The stems were hastily cut and some petals were falling off but Percy felt like crying all over again
Monty held them out. “I was on my way back from Covent Garden when I saw these. I thought you would like them.” Percy hugged the flowers to his chest and sniffed their lovely soft scent.
“I do. Wouldn’t you get in trouble though? They must be from some nobleman’s patch” He definitely did not want to see Monty arrested over a couple flowers.
“No trouble if you aren’t caught darling. It’s just a little posy” He grinned and Percy should really be more concerned but instead he leant over to kiss the wonderful man in front of him
“I love them, I love you”
“I love you too, and now I’ll be able to buy you flowers,” He added.
“Oh?” Now that was interesting
“I got the job at Covent Garden” he exclaimed. Percy let out a noise of excitement
“You did? I’m so proud of you!” He pulled Monty close again.
Just the feeling of joy buzzing through Monty set all of Percy’s nerves alight. He never felt more alive. Things were finally looking up for them.
“Yes. We should certainly celebrate.” his fingers grazed along Percy’s ribs, sending a shiver of desire through him. They should indeed. He kissed him quickly
“Let me find something to put these in first.” He grinned and darted around before finally settling on the sole mug in the apartment. He tore at the stems a little so that the flowers fit and fluffed them a little. Perfect. He turned back to Monty and found him swiping a bit of the bread along the plate, mopping up some of the scrambled eggs
“Really?” he sighed, unable to understand him.
“You made them for me! I could not let them go to waste” He insisted and Percy shook his head. Instead he walked closer and tangled his fingers into Monty’s jacket.
“C’mon. Let us celebrate”
II
Things couldn’t be perfect forever of course.
Monty had come home excited that day. Percy pushed himself up from the mattress where he was resting and made his way over slowly to see what made his lover so happy today.
“What’s got you so bright so early in the morning?” He mused, leaning his elbow on the table. Monty grinned.
“Look!” and produced a bottle of Burgundy Wine. Percy blinked.
“What is this?” He tried to keep his voice level. Monty smiled
“Burgundy Wine! It is very popular against the men at Covent Garden.”
“This must have cost a fortune, how did you get it?” Percy pressed, not really caring about the popularity of the wine. Monty waved a hand,
“It cost a pretty penny but it will definitely be worth it!”
When he looked up at Percy, he did not see a shared excitement. How could Percy be excited about this? They did not have the money for things like this, they barely managed to afford rent.
“We can't afford this Monty” Percy said slowly, he could feel the frown between his brows deepening rapidly “You’ll have to return it.” Monty stepped forward a little, his face dulling a little but he still tried to remain convincing.
“We deserve something nice, Percy. Once in a while.”
“Yeah, a while. We’ve barely been here three months. We’re supposed to be saving.”
Monty’s features were reflecting his own now. He stood, a confused look evident on his face.
“It is just one thing Perce” His voice was getting more insistent. Percy shook his head
“Things add up.” Why couldn’t he see that? They were only beginning their journey, they couldn’t be buying things left and right. Monty’s jaw tensed the way it did when he tried to physically stop himself from becoming frustrated.
“You’re not being fair.” he said, crossing his arms. Percy scoffed, feeling his voice getting louder,
“You could have bought literally anything else with the money that went for that.” Monty sighed and shook his head, getting more frustrated by the second
“But I bought this! I thought you would be happy. It was for us.” Percy laughed and shook his head
“It was for you. Do not pretend it was for us.” he was gesturing and waving his hands now which meant things were getting heated, “something for us would be a new pan or a good butter knife or a warmer blanket with winter coming up!” There were a million things that would be a smarter buy than wine .
“We will have time to buy all those things. I do not understand what your problem is!”
“My problem is that you're being irresponsible.” Percy hissed. Monty blew out a breath
“ I do not get why I can’t buy something nice once in a while when I work for it.” He said, slightly bitter. That hit Percy like a punch to the face. Of course, this had to have come up at some point. Percy’s struggle with acquiring a job. He was trying of course but he still felt a little weak and the autumn air approaching only made him feel more vulnerable. Monty had insisted that it was fine and he was ever so supportive in dissuading Percy’s guilt.
It had shut him up then, the hurt evident over his face. He didn’t know what to say, then he saw the regret in Monty’s eyes as he stepped forward
“Perce I...I did not mean it like that-” He started but something snapped inside him then,
“Don’t.” He snapped, and Monty… Monty stepped back, flinching away from him. His eyes widened with fear.
“Monty-” he wanted to reach out to him and soothe him and forget about this stupid fight. Monty pulled away, his eyes pointed towards the floor and his voice quiet. He placed the wine on the table.
“I get it.. I’ll see you later.” he said and left. The door closing felt louder than ever.
He had left. Percy’s mind was a whirlwind of chaos and Monty was not here. He hadn’t grabbed his coat on the way out, he would be cold. Would he come home? Percy sighed and sat at the table staring at the wretched wine. He still thought it was a stupid purchase though perhaps he had been unreasonable? It was true that Monty worked hard, why s houldn’t Monty get to buy them nice wine.
Percy lifted the bottle and read the label. It really did look good.
No. He was in the right. They could have gotten so many more practical things with that money, things that were actually for the both of them. But Monty looked so scared when Percy snapped at him, like he was expecting to be hit. That churned Percy’s stomach inside out.
No, he could not just let him go. He had to make things right.
He stood, aiming to get his coat and go find him when the door opened and Monty came in, looking rather sheepish.
“I was about to start searching London for you.” Percy said, then began to add “Monty I-”
Monty cut him off and walked up to him, on hand behind his back.
“No… you were right. It was a stupid thing to buy and it was selfish of me” he said.
“A little, but… The wine. It looks good. I overreacted” Monty waved his hand,
“No no.. I will return it.”
“Monty…”
“Here. These were free” He lifted his hand from behind his back and produced a slightly beat up fistful of flowers. “I’m not sure what they actually mean but they’re supposed to say: Sorry I’m an Asshole who Spent Our Money on Stupid Things” He said, still a little downtrodden. How could Percy feel even an inch of anger at him? Percy carefully took the flowers and placed them on the table, before turning back, feeling his features soften.
“Oh Monty... I’m sorry too, i never meant to snap”
“I never meant what I said. You know I do not care right? Your health is the most important”
Percy was not sure if he did, or if that was his own personal guilt but he nodded.
“I know.”
Monty smiled, a little teary and a lot relieved and wrapped his arms around Percy’s waist, hugging him tightly.
“I’m sorry, i’m sorry, I’m sorry” He mumbled and Percy kissed the top of his head
“Me too, I would never leave, I love you.” He whispered, making Monty hug him even tighter.
They spent the rest of the night holding each other and whispering apologies.
They would be okay after all.
III
It was not often that one turned twenty. It was truly a large age that brought you right over the threshold of your teenage years and thrust you upon adult responsibilities. Percy did not feel much different than he had yesterday when he was nineteen. Just a little sad that Monty had to work today.
It was quite the coincidence that his birthday last year landed on a Sunday. Monty did not have to go to work until evening and with all their God-fearing neighbours off at church, they had the entire morning to themselves. They could be as loud as they wanted to without the lady who lived below them growing suspicious. She was nosy enough as it was.
This year however, it was Tuesday so Monty was working. Percy woke to a small bowl of strawberries sitting on the table, one cut hastily into a jagged heart. Monty probably planned to shape all of them and then ran out of time before having to head out.
Back in Cheshire, Birthdays were always a big deal. They did not have to be, you had one every year. They were, however, a wonderful excuse to throw a ball or a gala or any other celebration that included lots of other rich people turning up and asking you about your studies. It was quite dreadful. The nice bit always came before the celebration, when Monty would come see him in the morning or he would go see Monty, depending whose birthday it was they would spend the morning playing games. The birthday boy always got the best advantages in the games they made up together.
Last year felt a bit like that, two boys still playing games. This time without the boring gala bit. Still learning how to make a home and how to be together in one. Percy had hoped to compare how they’ve grown this year but he would have to wait with that one. Monty would most probably be home late and exhausted, not in the mood for anything. It was a damn shame that Percy had no lessons planned for today. He had cancelled on the little boy he taught violin to in hopes of celebrating his birthday. Though now he wishes he hadn’t, nothing to do always set his mind spinning to weird places.
He sighed and plucked a strawberry from the table and went to stand by the window, watching the people mill around and go about their days. Twenty years on this earth and he still could not get enough of people watching.
A young woman in a navy frock tripped, which made him giggle a little. She dusted herself off and looked around as though hoping no one had seen that.
“What are you laughing at?” A voice rang out from behind him and he jumped. Monty stood in the doorway, taking his jacket off.
“Monty!” Percy exclaimed, the surprise impossible to hide. He quickly recovered and gestured to a window “there… a girl. She tripped”
“Laughing at other people’s misery are we? Knew you weren’t as angelic as everyone thought” Monty teased, which only made Percy blush harder
“I was not- it.. It’s not like that!” He spluttered
“Relax, I know. Besides, it is your birthday, so you can laugh at strangers all you want.” He states and crossed the room to him. It was then that Percy noticed that he was holding a bouquet.
Monty held the flowers up and out to Percy. His smile was gentle and his eyes were fond. There were slight circles under his eyes and his bones were showing on his face. Neither of them ate as well as they did back in Cheshire. He was still the most beautiful man Percy had ever seen.
“Twenty roses for twenty years on this earth, my love” he stated. Percy blinked and looked down. Monty spoiled him with small posies of flowers every so often. They made the flat smell like something other than mold and age and gave a little bit of colour all around. But a bouquet as big as this.
“Twenty?”
“Yes Darling, You can even count if you want.”
“Monty, I don’t know what to say.”
“How about, thank you my most darling love for these lovely flowers” he teased, his dimples showing. Percy just about melted into a puddle.
“Thank you… these really are lovely. But why are you home? Don’t you have work?”
“I did...but I took the day off. You cancelled your violin lessons and I didn’t want you to spend your birthday on your own” he said, a little sheepish. God, Percy loved this man so much. He could help but lean in and capture Monty’s lips with his. The kiss was slow and sweet and conveyed all the things Percy was too emotional to say out loud right now. He pulled back and went to get their one vase, an investment they had made when the flowers became a more common occurrence.
He carefully filled it with water from their teapot and placed the roses inside. The sheer amount of them almost toppled the flimsy thing, so Percy had to adjust and maneuver them around until they fit the way he wanted them to. He took a step back and smiled, proud of himself at managing to arrange the roses the way he wanted to.
Monty was right beside him, leaning into his side. He smiled and took Percy’s hand, kissing the knuckle. It had been nearly two years since they managed to convey to each other how they felt and yet such little gestures still knocked him off his feet. He hardly thought they would ever stop toppling him. He felt just as strongly, even more so about Monty than he had two years ago.
“Come on darling, let’s go somewhere.” Monty said and tugged on his arm a little. What could Percy do except for nod?
Somewhere ended up being a long walk up and down the streets, some very fun window shopping; and a trip to the museum. It was a sunny day and everything felt quite like a dream. Though Percy could not embrace or kiss Monty in public, their love for each other could still be felt without the need for physical touch. Percy felt...right. He felt as though this was his place. He still did not feel twenty, though he did feel eager to make it to forty with Monty, perhaps even sixty. He wondered how Monty would look with grey streaked hair and wrinkles. Would he develop sunspots? Would he still be working at Covent Garden? Perhaps Percy would be a famous violinist by then and he could provide Monty with everything he needed.
He kept his musings up until they came home, the world outside dark and moonlit. As soon as the door closed behind them, Percy was on him. Cupping his face and kissing him. Stroking his thumbs over the soft skin of his cheeks, running his other hand through his curls. Monty laughed and pulled him close too
“Not that I’m complaining” he got out between kisses “But what brought this on?”
“You. You’re just… amazing alright? I love you”
“I love you too”
“And I just-” he carried on but Monty cut him off;
“Wait. Shhh” Percy frowned and stepped back.
“What?”
“Do you hear that? Someone is playing music.” Monty whispered.
Percy stood still for a second, letting the dark envelop him. Monty was right. Outside, they could hear some music being played. It sounded like a flute. He turned back to Monty whose eyes were already shining.
“Come on. Help me out” he said and walked over to their table and began to push it. Percy blinked, confused, but obediently walked over and pushed it with him.
“What are you doing? You are acting insane. Monty, you don’t even like music” he whispered, a little more intensely than last time. It came out as whisper-shouting almost.
“I don’t like music, yes…” Monty began, pushing the table flat against the wall “but i do like to dance, will you do me the honour?” He asked and held his hand out.
Where on earth did this man come from? Percy put his hand in Monty’s and allowed himself to be pulled closer. Their height difference should have implied for Monty to allow himself to be led, though nothing of the sort happened. Monty smiled and confidently took a step forward, which instinctively caused Percy to take a step back. The person with the flute was playing a simple four beat rhythm, allowing the pair to fall into a waltz rather easily.
Dancing was always something Monty was rather good at. While Percy had no trouble with picking up rhythms on his violin, when it came to his feet he was suddenly impossible. He had already stepped on Monty’s foot twice, but the other man simply grit his teeth and kept smiling. With a little bit of time, Percy relaxed a little and the steps became easier. One-two-three-four over and over.
The moonlight was shining in through the window, illuminating them and their makeshift dance floor. Percy was sure that it was already tomorrow but Monty still leaned in and whispered;
“Happy Birthday, Percy.”
Looking at the man in front of him, and the roses casting shadows across their walls; Percy feels complete
IV
“That was great! You were amazing!” Monty gushed, his face slightly flushed and his eyes wide. He was walking in front of Percy, turning towards him every so often. Percy buried his face deeper into his scarf and smiled lightly, watching his lover's excitement.
Monty walked backwards down the road and for a moment there, Percy worried that he would trip over or bump into someone but he seemed to have pretty good control over where he was going. He was waving his hands and gesticulating.
“When you played your bit and then, Perce everyone was looking only at you!” He exclaimed. His enthusiasm made Percy blush a little.
Monty was never a big fan of music, especially not Percy’s line of work; but he turned up today to Percy’s first ever concert with the London Symphony. It seemed he did not even fall asleep halfway. It was endearing, to know that he tried so hard despite his own interests being so different. Watching him now, full of enthusiasm for the other love of Percy’s life, made his heart grow and ache.
“You’re going to fall over.” He said instead, struggling to accept the compliments. Monty shook his head and hooked his arm with his.
“You were amazing”
“I missed three notes.” He insisted.
“No one noticed!”
“Perhaps we shouldn’t stand so close?” Percy suggested, looking around rather nervously. It was late and the winter air was thick. The lamp posts were lit up sending long shadows over the gravel. The streets were empty but they could never be too cautious. Monty hummed and poked him in the ribs before stepping away. They were never further than arm's length, it made Percy heat up in the winter air. Not being able to bear being away from each other too long.
He tilted his head up towards the dark sky and blew out a breath, watching it become tangible in the cold air. The milky wisps floated away up towards the buildings where they blended entirely with the smoke coming from chimneys. It was quite a trek home they had to make and he could see that the tip of Monty’s nose was quickly becoming scarlet. He fretted a little about Monty catching a cold, he was insufferable when taken ill. Those worries quickly dissipated when Monty fished out the hat Percy had poorly knitted him and tugged it over his hair and down to his forehead. The spot between Percy’s ribs ached to dislodge itself away from the bone and land in Monty’s palms. All of him belonged to his darling anyway, what was one more organ, one more clump of tissue to lay down for Monty to own?
As they were turning the corner, Monty stopped in place abruptly. Percy paused and turned to look at him. He studied Monty’s face for a moment and furrowed his brow when the other man walked forward, but not in the direction they were supposed to be going. When he followed his line of sight, Percy noticed the little girl covered in a shroud of shadow. She was shivering, her hands almost blue with the cold clutching onto a little basket of flowers. Monty had walked over to her and was now kneeling down in front of her.
Percy watched Monty push his hand into the pocket of his coat and fish out the little bag in which he kept his money. He handed the girl several coins and smiled at her as she teared up. He tugged his hat off and handed it to her. The girl clutched it and nodded her head frantically before rushing off. Monty stood and picked up the basket, returning to Percy’s side.
“What was that about?” Percy asked. Monty smiled at him.
“She was cold, but was supposed to stay there until she had sold all the flowers… so I bought them all.” he stated.
“That must have cost half of your salary” Percy frowned. The other man just hummed.
“She needed it. We won’t starve, and it is much too cold for little girls to be alone on the street” He said.
Monty then reached into the basket and scooped the flowers out of it, holding them out to Percy.
“I believe it is customary to give a star some flowers after a lovely show, no?” he mused. Percy smiled and held the flowers close. A couple were crumpled and the petals were missing but they were a lovely mismatched mess, only made better with sentiment. Monty was not always so considerate of the poor until he became so himself. It was endearing to see these soft edges of his on display, the kindness that he kept buried now more readily coming forward.
“You gave her your hat.” Percy stated, as they began to walk home. Monty just smiled and nudged him
“A great incentive to make me another one darling.”
V
The townhouse in London was so clearly a different standard than their shitty little flat. After over a year in the shabby little place, Percy had grown a sort of fondness for it in a way. The luxury of this new house was almost overwhelming.
He found himself stepping over thresholds with overt caution and opening cupboards in a more careful manner. He was scared to damage anything and their previous home was ever so fragile. It was funny how in such an objectively short time one could get used to not having much.
Percy leaned a little on the windowsill, fingers wrapping around a mug of tea. The morning was bright and sunny for a spring day and he could feel himself turning towards it, desperately drinking sunlight into his bones. He had woken up to a cold bed, which was a standard in the past year or so. Though today that was quite curious seeing as Monty did not have to go to his place of work. He had no way of finding out though until the other man came home.
Instead, he occupied himself with savouring the morning.
Eventually, he pulled his bones away from the window and wandered into the bedroom. They had only moved recently and their meagre belongings were still packed up. They should perhaps put them away. Once upon a time the both of them had wardrobes teeming with clothes and fancy things; now both of their clothes barely took up space in one half of the usual space.
It made him smile, to add all the little mismatched fragments of their life together to this new chapter.
Downstairs, the door opened and closed. Soon enough, footsteps followed it.
“Darling?” Monty’s voice called out.
“In the bedroom!” Percy called and waited for Monty to come join him.
Monty stood in the doorway, already dressed and wide awake. He had become quite the early bird. He strode forward up to Percy and held up an impressive bouquet of daffodils. They were lovely. Yellow and white and in better conditions than any of the flowers Monty had given him previously. He handled them with identical care and caution.
“These are amazing, where did you get them?”
“There is a florist on our street,” Monty said. “An older woman runs it. She said daffodils mean New Beginnings”
Percy’s eyes pricked hot and wet for a minute. Before, all the flowers from Monty were just nice gifts that warmed his heart. The knowledge that these ones had a specific meaning and that Monty picked them out to say something without words truly melted him down into a puddle.
New beginnings indeed. A completely new and exciting existence waited before them and they had the privilege of getting to spend it together.
“Isn’t it typical that other people should be getting us housewarming gifts?” he said, amused. Monty grinned, his dimples displayed front and centre.
“When have we ever been typical?” he said cheekily.
Percy hummed and leant in, pressing his lips to Monty’s. On instinct, Monty looped his arm around his neck to drag him further into it. Kisses like these were something to get drunk off, full of love and liquid sunshine. It would be easy to get lost in them and give in to another couple hours in bed but the stems on the daffodils dug into Percy’s palms uncomfortable. He pulled away eventually and struggled to regain his breathing. One hand still curled into the front of Monty’s shirt, unwilling to let him go yet.
“Come on, let’s go find a vase in this massive house.”
This was the future and it was...Floral.
+I (Optional)
The air was cool and it still pierced through to Percy’s skin despite his wool coat. The thing was heavy and thick, perfect for this weather but the kind of chill settled in his bones was impossible to chase off. The leaves were starting to fall from trees, forming a brittle carpet, crunching underfoot. The gravel pathway was bleak as always and the morning frost made the small pebbles slippery and easy to trip on.
The bouquet of dahlias in his hand was already shedding a little, the flowers starting to near the end of their usual blooming season and the petals were starting to curl in on themselves. They were still rather beautiful and delicate looking, dewy from the cool air settling.
On their first anniversary, Monty brought home dahlia’s very similar to these ones. He had said that the woman he bought them from told him they symbolised commitment. Percy loved that flowers all had their own meanings, it felt like a language of their own. Monty had brightened then, his hair bouncing along with his laughter. Percy raced around the kitchen looking for something to put the flowers into.
“They won’t die on the spot, Perce” he had said.
The flowers ended up in a tall water glass with a chip in the rim. It was too small so they had to cram them in a little and after everything the little heads drooped and bowed, nearly touching the table. A little broken, a little bent but still all together. A little like the two of them.
Monty had made a tradition of getting Percy dahlia’s. Commitment. To show him that he was still it, for him. He was good that way, even though it hurt to think that after all this time he felt the need to prove himself. Percy knew he would never leave. Or, leave intentionally.
He had walked up to the end of his path. The headstone still glimmered the same way it had yesterday. He crouched down and wiped some of the fallen leaves away. There was a stubborn spiderweb forming off of the edge. He swiped it away too. Monty hates spiders.
He rubbed at the foliage debris with the corner of his sleeve until the stark ‘Henry Montague’ gleamed again. He sighed and touched the pads of his fingers to the inscription gently. ‘Steady on Darling’. How was he supposed to feel steady when the thing that balanced him out was gone? It felt like a lie. There was nothing he wanted more than to open his eyes and find that it was all an awful nightmare.
This passing anniversary, Monty was too weak to go buy dahlia’s. He was stuck in bed, shaking and coughing as the disease took over his lungs. It was long past the days of sitting him outside in the sunshine, hoping the clean air eased the aches. He had enjoyed that, turning towards the warm sunlight like a sunflower, allowing it to light his hair up a gorgeous golden colour. He would lean against Percy’s side and sigh happily. ‘This is all I need’ he would say ‘my favourite person and the sun’. Percy was technically advised not to spend so much time in contact with him in case of the disease passing onto him, but how could he not remain by his side?
These days he wishes he caught it also.
The sunlight, good food and the warmth did not end up helping. Felicity kept shaking her head and spending more time with her nose in books. Not much was known about the white plague and so she struggled with coming up with something that could help. They could have used a panacea around then. Eventually Monty had grown fed up with the increasingly ludicrous treatments and beckoned her closer.
“Damnation Felicity, I don’t bite”
“You’re contagious”
“Not for five minutes. Come sit with me before I go”
“Don’t say stupid things” she sat next to him anyway, perched on the bed, watching as his pale, shaking hands reached for hers. “Monty-” she began
“Go do great things” He said simply. She sniffed and pushed her glasses up her nose
“Of course I will. You’ll see”
“I don’t think I will”
“Stop it. Stop talking like you’re…” She tried to trail off but Monty didn’t let her.
“Dying?”
“You’re not dying!”
“I’ve started coughing blood Feli. You know what that means”
“No. Stop it”
“Go do great things. You hear me? I haven’t been a good brother for a long time”
She was shaking her head now, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. She was still so young, they were all so young.
“But I’m going to try to look out for you still, from down below. Though that might be awkward, I wouldn't want to look up your skirts” she laughed through a sob and raised her hand as though to smack him but hesitated. He looked like he could crack in every place at any minute.
“You’re not going to hell”
“Debatable”
“Monty”
“Okay okay! Fine. But… name something rare after me?” she rolled her eyes
“I’m not that kind of scientist Monty, perhaps i’ll discover a new venereal disease”
He laughed at that, then. Loud and melodious like a church bell throwing his head back, then quickly cut short by hacking coughs. Felicity passed him a handkerchief and he pressed it to his lips, staining red almost immediately. She looked away. He coughed for a while and sled down in the bed a little. His eyes drooped, exhausted by the strain on his frame. He was already pretty small for a man and within those pillows and the duvet, he looked tiny. Felicity softened in a peculiar way and hesitated. She leant down and kissed his forehead though he was already too tired to react. When she turned to Percy, her face was blank.
“Keep him comfortable”
He leant against the headstone and closed his eyes. Felicity left shortly after the funeral. She writes letters home like clockwork and it makes Percy feel a little less alone in the world. He slowly allowed himself a gaze around the graveyard, a couple people were milling around but they were mostly absorbed in their own loved ones. Tiny tragedies happening all around him, upending whole worlds he would never hear about. He was not in the business of contemplating this until his own world got upended. It made him angry, in a way, that he had lost the most important thing to him. That Felicity lost a brother. That Scipio and the Eleftheria Crew and Johanna and Sim would never see Monty again. The priest on the day of the funeral told Percy he was sorry that he lost his friend. The woman at the florists didn’t notice that she lost a customer.
Monty was a thunderstorm, a flash of lightning; making everything he touched buzz. It was bullshit that the globe wasn’t weeping for him. That there were people existing, entirely oblivious of what had happened. Their stupid cat sat by the door and waited for Monty to come home and their even stupider neighbour had the audacity to yell at her to stop meowing.
It wasn’t fair.
“You know, this is kind of ridiculous”
It was the last night. Though neither of them knew this yet. Monty spent the past couple of weeks coughing. It woke him and stopped him from sleeping. Dark circles took up residence under his eyes. He could barely eat, his throat scraped raw. They had run out of handkerchiefs and rags for him to cough into. But that was a good night. His chest cleared up a little bit and he had eaten some broth earlier which meant he could keep his eyes open, pressed in Percy’s side as they watched the stars.
“Ridiculous?” he had murmured, rubbing his thumb over Monty’s knuckles, watching him as he nodded.
“We survived Cheshire and Pirates, and fake highwaymen and our first year in London-”
“Monty...”
“And then we were both shot and survived that too! Only for some stupid disease to kill me”
“You know that i hate when you speak that way”
“It’s just a fact, Perce” he mumbled. Percy felt his heart shatter into a million pieces at the resignation in his voice. He cupped Monty’s face and ran his thumb over his high cheekbones, straining against his skin.
“This isn’t fair. We were supposed to have forever.” he muttered. Monty sniffed
“Every day with you was worth four normal boring person days, I think that evens out”
“Not even remotely”
“I never claimed to be good at mathematics.” That drew a weak chuckle from Percy. He leant down to kiss him then, their lips slotting together as naturally as always. Monty’s lips were chapped and his mouth was dry, he tasted a little metallic. It had been a while since they could kiss like this, with the frequent coughing fits breaking up Monty’s day.
How was it possible that while still living together, and spending so many hours of the day by each other’s side, he could still miss Monty so desperately?
“Hey,” Monty muttered then, giving the collar of Percy’s shirt a weak tug. He looked up a little, leaning in to hear him better. “I love you.” Percy sighed
“I love you too…”
“Promise me something.” He shook his head, eyes pleading.
“Please don’t make me,” he begged, Monty just smiled still
“Don’t.. Don’t be sad. I hate when you cry.”
“That’s not fair Monty,” he said quickly.
“Promise.”
“No” his voice broke then, a lump starting to form in his throat. Hot tears pricked the back of his eyes. He felt soft skin along his cheek, wiping his tears.
“I said.. I hate when you cry”
“I hate that you’re making me promise this.” Monty just smiled and tapped the tip of his nose.
“I love you.” Percy laughed wetly, answering automatically.
“I love you too”
“Stop frowning... Look, tell me about the stars again” Monty shifted a little towards the window in their apartment. He was deflecting again and for once, Percy let him. They’ve had plenty of heart to hearts over the past couple of months but just tonight, Percy wanted to pretend this wasn’t happening. That this was not his life. That his great love was not dying before his very own eyes. So he pressed a lingering kiss into Monty’s hair and told him about the stars.
That was Monty’s last night. Percy had long since abandoned the concept of staying away from him in fear of the disease, so they had gone to bed together. He had held Monty close to his chest, but did not wake when Monty’s lungs finally heaved their last breath. He had woken, and Monty was already gone.
He spent the next hour or so, updating Monty on all the new things going on in his life. His orchestra was doing a new song. The couple living across the street from them had their baby, a little girl with a cute tuft of brown hair and green eyes. He hasn’t had a fit in two months now. Felicity was in Cairo last time she wrote but she’s setting the course home soon. When he was done, he circled back around the headstone and crouched down. He pressed his forehead to the cool stone and let out a shuddering breath. He pressed two fingers to his lips and brushed them over the inscription again. Sliding them down slowly to the flowers, toying with the petals on the dahlia’s. He stood.
“Happy anniversary darling.”