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Over the last few months, with Mel's help and patience, Abigael made some great strides in properly healing. They had to get creative (which was fun, if also overwhelming at times) but Abby had enjoyed every minute of it and could not believe this was her life. This was what happiness looked like.
Today, though, made her anxious. It was something she knew she needed but wasn't sure she was ready for. But honestly, she wasn't sure she'd ever really be ready. To let go. To integrate all parts of herself within this life of hers. To finally be whole. Complete.
She took a shaky breath. "Before we do this...will you…" She held Mel's hand and brought it to her lips and kissed her fingertips. "I know all the reasons why I love you. But could you…"
Mel tugged on Abby's hand and brought her attention to her eyes. They stared at each other for a moment.
"Why do you love me?" Abby asked quietly, but with urgency.
Mel's gaze softened and Abby knew she could tell how important this moment was for Abby. How much she needed it.
Mel held her gaze. "I love your confidence and charm. Your quick wit and sarcasm. You are intelligent and funny. You're brave and strong. I love that you love with your whole heart. You're loyal. You challenge me, Abby, in all the best ways. You make me see the world differently. The gray in it all. You've made me better. I know you might not see it, but it's true. Morality is subjective, you taught me that. Yes, there are some objectively bad and horrible things in the world. But most people are just trying their best and you taught me how to empathize with that rather than judge them."
Abby could no longer hold her gaze and dropped her head as she nervously bit her lip. She was getting better at enduring this. The vulnerability. The softness. But it still overwhelmed her at times.
"Now see, in all of that, you never said I was beautiful."
Mel huffed and rolled her eyes playfully. Abby dared to look at her again.
"You're the prettiest girl I've ever met, but you're a lot more than that." Mel told her.
Abby smirked. "Did you...did you just quote Glee to me?"
Mel's mouth dropped open. "How did...you know Glee?"
Abby rolled her eyes. "Quinn Fabray was my big gay awakening."
Mel laughed. "Of course she was."
Abby glared at her playfully. "Like Rachel Berry and her short pin-stripe skirts, knee high socks, daily planner, color coded notebooks, and gold star stickers didn't get you all hot and bothered."
Mel surprisingly shook her head. "Seems you have a particular type." She smiled softly. "Quinn was my root, too. The hot, mean girl with a surprising heart of gold…"
Abby flushed darkly. "Seems you have a type as well."
Mel rolled her eyes. "Someone changed the subject and is trying to distract me."
Abby raised an eyebrow. "Is it working?"
"Abby, we don't have to do this if you aren't ready. I just...you know that I love absolutely every part of you. Right?"
Abby slowly nodded. "Yes." Then she stared openly and flirtatiously at Mel. "Some parts more than others, I'm sure."
"You're incorrigible." Mel sighed and tried to sound exasperated, but Abby knew better now. "My eyes are up here, by the way." Mel teased.
"Oh, I am well aware." Abby made a show of looking her up and down seductively. "But everything else is much, much lower."
Mel laughed and rolled her eyes and Abby beamed with pride.
"I love you." She told Mel.
Then she decided to stop stalling and get over herself and do what they had planned. She allowed her demon form to take over and watched hesitantly as Mel took her in.
Mel cupped her face gently. "I love you, too."
Mel wrapped her in a hug and held her tightly, securely, lovingly. "And you are beautiful, Abby."
Then Abby wept. She allowed herself to be accepted as all that she was. She trusted that Mel's words and actions were sincere. And she let herself continue to heal.
Eventually, they got more comfortable and lay side by side on the bed. Mel the big spoon, awkwardly wrapped Abby in a warm embrace from behind as Abby cried herself to sleep. It was the most transcendent and cathartic thing she ever experienced. And she felt whole. Truly and completely whole.
xxxxx
Abby and Mel sat side by side on the couch watching Marisol happily play with her toys. Abby couldn't believe how big she was getting. She had started to talk. The major words like: mama (for Mel), mum (for her, which still brought joyful tears to her eyes), no (said way too much, in Abby's humble opinion), and a few more random words in both English and Spanish.
"Mija…" Abby said to get Marisol's attention.
Her daughter looked at her with affection and made her way to her.
Abby showed her her demon form. Terrified, but ready. She braced herself in case this went badly. She needed it not to go badly.
Marisol stared at her for a long time and then laughed.
Abby transitioned back into her human form.
"Again!" Marisol said in jumbled English.
So Abby did it again and again and again, which elicited roarous laughter.
They spent the day like that. Abby stayed in her demonic form as she played patty cake and peekaboo. She read Marisol's favorite book to her. It was all so domestic and nice and magically...them.
When she and Mel lay in bed that night, with Abby as the big spoon this time, she smiled in contentment and kissed Mel's hair.
"I didn't realize how terrified I've been of my daughter fearing me. Hating me. Until...she loves me, Mel. Today...today was everything I never knew I needed."
Mel turned in her arms and faced her. "Of course she loves you. You're you. You're her mum."
"I finally realize that that is enough."
"More than enough." Mel confirmed. "I'm so proud of you. Of letting yourself just... be today."
Her chest burned with pride and adoration. Her core burned with something else entirely.
She kissed Mel, rolled her onto her back, and worshipped her. Today she didn't feel like a witch or demon or even simply human. In this moment, she felt like a god.
xxxxx
When Marisol hit the terrible twos Abby started to rethink her life.
"All I'm saying is we take an extended holiday and Marisol's aunts can get some special alone time with her."
"You want to pawn our daughter off to my sisters…"
"And mine." Abby amended.
"Because she got mad at you and told you 'no'." Mel wondered incredulously. "Abby, what will you do when she's a teenager?"
"Send her to therapy. Or boarding school."
Mel chuckled and it made Abby loosen up and smile, too.
Marisol was in a mood today, but Abby was mostly joking about fleeing.
Suddenly, before they knew what happened, Marisol threw an offending toy on the ground and then set it on fire with a fireball.
It seemed to surprise her as much as it did Abby and Mel. But before they could jump into action, Marisol laughed and threw another fireball that singed the carpet.
Mel rushed to her and for a moment, Abby was paralyzed in fear. For her daughter. For Mel's reaction. But all Mel did was gently scoop her up and scold her firmly.
Abby's shoulder's relaxed and she breathed out in relief. Mel wasn't Francesca. Marisol was safe. Abby was safe.
"Looks like she really is mine after all." Abby smirked.
Mel rolled her eyes. "As if there was ever any doubt." She handed Marisol over to Abby. "You and Macy will have to teach her to safely use her powers."
Abby nodded. It was a good idea.
"And you'll have to help me come up with a potion that can fix the carpet before my sisters get home or we'll have some explaining to do."
Abby smiled widely. "Making potions together. Just like old times. I can't wait."
And she couldn't. She really couldn't. She couldn't believe this was her life.