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Seokjin stirs from his slumber at an unhurried pace. He breathes in deep, keeping his eyes closed against the soft morning sunbeams through his window. It is rare for him to wake with such ease, and he wonders if he can be blessed with this again in the coming days.
Seokjin slowly opens his eyes, fumbling as he turns to his left side. Taehyung lies there next to him, looking at him as if he holds all the wonders of the universe. Seokjin’s heart betrays him, which is a common occurrence when Taehyung is involved and starts racing in no time.
“Don’t scare me like that. Make some noise next time.”
“So, there’s a next time?” Taehyung asks cheekily, raising his eyebrows, a smug grin reaching his ears. Seokjin lightly slaps his arm.
“I don’t know what kind of fuel runs your imagination right now but we literally just slept. You stayed on your side of the bed, I stayed on mine. That’s it.”
“Yes, I know, hyung,” Taehyung says, his voice laced with fascination and his smile getting bigger, all crinkly and warm, and Seokjin is gone.
It had been a regular Thursday yesterday, the two of them following their routine of walking home together after work, comfortable silence between them honed by years of friendship, with Taehyung dropping off Seokjin at his apartment before going his way to his own. Just as usual, Seokjin would bid him a quick goodbye and then Taehyung would reply with a standard, “See you tomorrow, hyung!”
It was supposed to be that way, until Taehyung stopped Seokjin from closing his front door, appearing to be in great distress.
“Taehyung-ah, what’s wrong?”
“I’m in love with you.”
Seokjin stood there, dizzy at Taehyung’s words, trying not to panic for two things.
One, Taehyung was there when Seokjin realized he was not wired to feel that specific way for others, that dating and romantic relationships are not his thing, and that platonic and familial love are superior in his dictionary, and that being like this was fine. It was all fine. Taehyung told him so countless times when Seokjin had that small breakdown during college from the overwhelming sense of dread that he was not like most people.
Two, Seokjin must have slipped somewhere along the way because he was so sure that he kept his budding feelings hidden, that unrelenting thought of going past their steady, unwavering friendship to be something more. It was a recent and welcome discovery on Seokjin’s part, that he’s not as pragmatic as he thought he was on the subject of love, and who else can better stand at the edge of his newly-found affections than his best friend of many years?
Taehyung whose soul is bright and incomparable, utterly undeserving of the heartbreaks his dating adventure gave him and whose smallest of smiles can bring the world to its knees.
“Listen. I know you don’t have time for this or like, do this sort of thing at all, but I just wanted you to know that I’m so in love with you. For so long. And I know that no one deserves someone as good as you, but I just thought that maybe you and I can try? I will take care of your heart. I promise.”
I’m so in love with you. For so long. I will take care of your heart. I promise.
Seokjin shudders at how his mind replays Taehyung’s confession yesterday in distinct, crystal clarity and some selfish part of him wants to request a repeat performance.
“Well, we kissed. With tongue. I count that remotely sexual, at the very least,” Taehyung breaks his line of thought.
“Oh my god, Kim Taehyung,” Seokjin rolls his eyes and huffs, half-amused and half-reeling at the thought that yes, they kissed for the first time yesterday and Seokjin sends eternal thanks to the universe that it did not feel unpleasant as he imagined it would be, kissing someone. He has a gut feeling that Taehyung made all the difference.
“Can we do that again? Are you comfortable with that?” Taehyung whispers, his eyes glistening and full of hope. Seokjin’s breath catches.
“You don’t have to be that careful around me. You’re my best friend.”
“I am your best friend, but I do. You know I do. We can take this, whatever this is, day by day, hour by hour, or even minute by minute if need be.”
And just like that Taehyung’s found a home at the center of Seokjin’s universe.
“Yes, please.”
“Yes to a kiss, hyung?”
“Yes, I’m comfortable kissing you. Yes, yes, to a kiss--”
Taehyung connects their lips with a smile, but it dissipates the moment Seokjin pushes back and rests his hand on his neck, his thumb rubbing his jaw ever so softly. Taehyung kisses him with single-minded focus, his lips commanding against Seokjin’s pliant ones. Seokjin shivers as Taehyung licks his way into his mouth, whimpering as their tongues meet.
Seokjin’s palm moves from Taehyung’s neck to his chest and he marvels at the idea that he’s the cause of Taehyung’s heart racing like this.
Taehyung’s breathing becomes heavier and being the annoyingly kind and mindful person that he is, he moves away from Seokjin but not without bringing their lips briefly together for several consecutive kisses.
It leaves Seokjin wanting more.
“Am I your first kiss?” Taehyung says seriously.
“You’re insufferable.”
“No, Jin-hyung. Tell me.”
“I’m already regretting kissing you,” Seokjin whines, intending to get up from the comforts of his bed but Taehyung suddenly wraps both his arms around his waist, moving him closer, their bodies aligning with him as the small spoon.
“No, you don’t.”
“No, I don’t. Now, let go. I have a 9 AM meeting.”
Seokjin’s words set Taehyung hugging him tighter from behind. This is the first time he’s probably getting cuddles, too. And he thinks he loves it. He wonders if he can spend a lifetime doing just this with Taehyung.
“Stay for a bit longer, please. We’re having a moment.”
“Are we?” Seokjin says, squeezing Taehyung’s arm.
“Yes,” Taehyung pulls him even closer, breathing the words at the back of his neck. Seokjin’s skin thrums with anticipation.
“Can I kiss you here, too?”
“Are you going to ask every time?”
“For as long as you want me to.”
It’s the simplest remark but the words brim with love and care that Seokjin never expects from Taehyung but is being given to him freely. The gravity of Taehyung’s promise of taking care of his heart sinks in and Seokjin’s emotions overwhelm him in a good way.
“Please.”
Taehyung kisses the back of his neck with utter gentleness and reverence that Seokjin wants to cry. Nobody will ever get to touch him like this.
“One more, please,” Taehyung requests.
“Hmm.”
“Is that a yes?”
Seokjin says yes.
He says yes a thousand times more.