Chapter Text
Min remembers the first T-shirt incident clearly, even though he was only around nine years old back then. It took place when he was just finishing second grade of primary school alongside with his best friend Ryan. At that time they used to hang out after classes a lot, either at Min's or Ryan's place, listening to favourite music cassettes, discussing the details of their bright future filled with gigs and travelling, or just lying flat on the carpet, simply enjoying each other's presence. Sometimes they would snack something - Min's mom, being her overprotective self, would always pack oranges or cookies for her son and his best friend.
On that day when the first incident happened, they went to Ryan's apartament and Min brought two bags of oranges with him. Ryan's bedroom was small, warm-colored room, usuelly pretty messy; not only because he didn't like cleaning - there simply wasn't enough space for all of the growing boy's belongings in there. Still, it was a nice place to spend free time in, as long as the rest of the Akagi kids was away.
Ryan and Min sat crossed-legged on the carpet and started to peel the fruits Min got. Warm light slipping through half covered-up window, making the smaller boy's hair look like a shiny halo. Ryan was licking his, sticky from orange juice, fingers, Min lazily observing him with a soft expression on his chubby face. Ry's hands were, for Min at least, very neat with those slim fingers and quick movements. Suddenly, juice from the orange Ryan was currently eating spurted out, leaving very prominent spots on Min's light blue shirt.
"Oopsie...." - Ryan said with an apologetic look on his face.
"My mom will get mad" - Min responded with concern, looking closely at the stained fabric.
"Don't worry, we'll wash it for you. Your parents won't even notice" - other boy immediately offered - "My siblings dirty a lot of clothes all the time, one more shirt won't make a difference to my mom"
Min-Gi finally agreed to his friend's proposition and removed the sticky piece of clothing from his body. Ryan gave him one of his T-shirts instead, it was orange with a sunflower painted on it. Min liked it; when he put it on however, his friend couldn't help but giggle. The T-shirt was too short for Min (he was taller than most of his peers), exposing lower part of his belly. The fabric was very tight on his chest and arms, capturing his body shape. Still not quite developed yet, more childish than boyish.
"You look funny, Min" - Ryan pinched jokingly his stomach - "I can find you something bigger, maybe I'll steal one of my sister's sweatshirts or what."
"Ok" - Min responded. He figured his face was burning red - he felt uncomfortable with exposing so much in front of his best friend.
When Ryan left the room, Min glanced at his half naked body. He looked like an avarage kid his age - he was nicely soft and his ribs weren't visible at all, like he didn't even have them. Then he glimpsed his hands, resting on his tights. They were very different from Ryan's too - Min had those... dimples, one below each finger.
The question popped up in his mind: why was he like this and Ryan wasn't? Ryan had ribs and his shirts were hugging Min way too tight. Why they were so different from each other?
While he was thinking it through, Ryan returned with the promised sweatshirt, and little Min-Gi forgot about the whole thing pretty quickly. Good for him.
A couple years passed more or less peacefully for the boys. Min had never considered himself as particulary interesting, so he'd never give his body more attention than necessary. He had a healthy bit of self-awareness, but it was never a big deal. He was used to the fact that that he was broader and bigger than Ryan, that he was filling up his clothes almost entirely while Ryan was practically drowning in his. Ryan had most of his wardrobe after older siblings and hated that fact passionately.
However, something changed when they both went to high school; Ryan suddenly started to pay more attention to his image, desiring to look as original and cool as his favourite musicians. His hair got longer and people started to give him dirty looks, suspecting he was... that. Min figured what exactly that meant but he didn't care. Ryan's sexuality, whatever it was like, was Ryan's and only his buisness. Min respected that.
The second T-shirt incident took place a few weeks before the, fatal in consequences, battle of the bands.
It started with Min's bright idea; he wanted to make a surprise gift for Ryan, which was going to be a shirt with their band's logo. After thinking the whole thing through, Min decided to buy not one, but two shirt, for both of them. He figured they will look cool on stage, wearing similar outfits. He had designed the Chicken Choice Judy logo earlier, being an artistic soul after all, so the only thing he still had to do was buying white plain T-shirts.
He took a trip to a nearby clothing shop. Although Min knew that Ryan prefered to dress in thrift stores, he figured that it will be easier to find identical shirts in one of those ordinary chain stores.
As he entered the shop, mixed smells of perfume and plastic hit him. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. (Ryan had always found that gesture of Min's particulary funny for some reason) After a quarter, Min-Gi finally spotted proper shirts. He quickly found his, and then Ryan's size (yup he knew his size). And it hit him like a speeding train. The gap between their sizes. Compared to Ryan's shirt, his looked almost like a tent. When had he grown so much? His insides tightened into a knot, he curled up in himself, suddenly ashamed. Eventually he bought only one T-shirt, the one for Ryan.
When he came back home, he lifted his sweater up and critically examined his reflection in a mirror. Not like he was overweighed - if anything, very tall. And had a very normal, healthy amount of fat. Maybe he was actually getting a bit rounder on the area around his waist. It wasn't very visible, but was there. And Min hated it. He was too old to excuse himself that his softness was only a baby fat. He wasn't a kid anymore. He was almost an adult.
Why couldn't he look more like Ryan with his graceful moves, flat stomach and petite, but lithe pchysique?
This time the event left Min shattered. Like many kids his age, he already had been overly stressed and had a hard time overcoming his akwardness. In addition to this mess he got extremely self-concious and insecure. Luckily, thanks to his level-headed attitude, the idea of starving himself never crossed his mind. Joining a school swim team was a good option, but getting naked in front of so many people - in front of Ryan to be specific - would probably make him sick.
At that time Min-Gi stopped liking himself, but got even more fascinated with Ryan instead. The keyboardist developed a massive crush on his friend and it kinda freaked him out. Being queer, or different in general, wasn't so safe in the 80s. Especially when your parents were as.... traditional as the Parks.
But, what's even worse, it was about Ryan. His best and only friend. Min didn't want to destroy they already had, so he promised himself he won't do anything more than admiring Ry from a distance. Ryan was everything Min wasn't and wished he were. In his eyes Ryan was a walking perfection.
But even the blossoming feeling couldn't prevent the upcoming disaster.
Battle of the bands happened.
Ryan rode off into the sunset without Min-Gi. The bright future they were meant to share wasn't including Min anymore. Probably for the better.
Freshly developed affection torwards the musician didn't disappear as he left; it was still very present, making Min's heart sore a little more with every passing day. Life got triring and was filled with nothing but stress and loneliness. Min eventually joined the swim team, with his parents' approval. He wasn't their chubby baby anymore - and when he'd eat a little too much they would give him concerned looks. They wanted him perfect. And apparently he wasn't beacuse he wasn't in shape.
Everything changed overnight when Ryan suddenly came back.
To town. To Min's empty life.
And he was more than willing to include Min-Gi in his wild plans again.
Then the Train happened, leaving the two a little disturbed, but at last united. They spent nine terrifying weeks there, but survived, and their bond strengthened. They quickly fell back into the harmonious mode they used to have before Min's runaway. Or maybe they started doing even better than before.
Their first kiss happened two weeks after they'd finally left Powell Lake behind in Ryan's brand new van. They were in a store, buying some domestic stuff (Min doesn't remember what it was exactly), when completely out of the blue Ryan grabbed Min's hand, climbed on the tip of his toes and placed a kiss on his friend's lips. Was it the most romantic kiss Min- Gi could possibly imagine? Not at all. But it was Ryan who was the kisser. His lips tasted like mint due to slushee he'd previously eaten. When they pulled away, Ryan looked flustered, warmth and colors present on his cheeks. While Min was still smiling like an idiot, he placed hands on Min's sides.
"Nice curves you got there" - he grinned and winked playfully
Embarassed Min-Gi bit his bottom lip so hard, he felt a metalic taste of blood on his tongue. The comment wasn't supposed to be an insult at all, but Min couldn't help feeling hurt. Ryan noticed something was off, he knew Min-Gi so well.
"Hey what's with the sudden mood change?" - he asked simply and then hesitated - "You.... regret... anything?"
"What? No. Not at all" - Min assured, slipping his hand into Ryan's - "I enjoyed it.... very much. And... uh... maybe I'd love to do that again sometime" - he sheepishly looked down at his sneakers.
"It's a deal then" - Ryan's face lit up again, eyes full of warm twinkles. God, Min loved that eyes.
///
Few days later they are both sitting on bed in their motel room. They have just arrived here, tomorrow they are playing in a nearby night club. Ryan is rubbing circles on Min's wrist. Min is playing with strands of Ry's hair.
"I'm bored. Let's play truth or dare" - Ryan suggests
"Nah, I'm gonna take a nap" - Min makes himself comfortable and closes his eyes.
"Nonono, don't leave me! I drank coffee, I won't sleep for the next several hours probably!" - Ryan whines and Min reluctantly opens his eyes again.
"Ughhh fine, you ADHD in a human form" - he rolls on his back - "But you go first. Truth or dare?"
"Dare" - Ryan immediately responds, as Min predicted.
"Cut your hair short" - he says smugly. Ryan bites the inside of his cheek.
"Truth" - he changes his mind, clearly not content with the whole situation.
"Ok, then when exactly did you fall for me?"
Ryan sticks the tip of his tongue out, thinking the question through.
"I think it's been always there... " - he states gradually - "But I first realised it when you gave me the shirt. I saw the logo and was like 'Damn, I'm gonna marry that dude' And suddenly a huge part of my life started making sense" - he chuckles softy. Min liked the response - he tries to hide a smile but completely fails
"My turn" - he mumbles - "I'm choosing truth"
"Pfft, coward" - Ryan scoffs -"But fine. Your choice. Choice Judy" - Min-Gi rolls his eyes and that irritates Ryan - "Tell me your dirtiest sexual fantasy you've ever had about me"- the musician commands with a shit-eating grin. Min's cheeks heat up.
"No. We are NOT talking about this kind of stuff. I choose dare"
"Wear my Chicken Choice Judy shirt then" - smaller man folds his arms - "I've always wondered how would it look on you"
Min feels wave of paralysing dread forming in his chest. Not clothes swapping with Ryan again.
"Can you think of.... something different?" - he asks shyly, but Ryan doesn't change his mind.
"No way, dude. Against the rules. Shirt or dirt, decision belongs to you" - odd satisfaction present on Ryan's face annoys Min-Gi. Min reconsiders both options. Wearing a shirt may seem nightmarish, but on the other hand, talking about sex....? That would be a whole new level of embarassment and Min doesn't think he's ready to face it.
"Ugh" - he groans - "Gimme the shirt then"
Ryan opens his guitar case, finds the t-hirt and throws it at the taller Asian. Min grabs it and reluctantly leaves in order to change. Their motel room has a small bathroom, with toilet, shower and dirty mirror in it. It's kinda disgusting, but still better than the one in the Party Car.
Min-Gi locks himself inside. Slowly, he removes all the clothing from his upper body half. He stares at Ryan's shirt for a moment, fingers nervously playling with the fabric.
Finally, he works up enough courage and quickly puts it on, then hesitantly looks at his reflection in the mirror.
The shirt is ridiculously tight and short, due to the fact it shrunk in a wash. On Ryan it looked small. On Min it looks more like a crop top than an actual t-shirt.
Min looks.... a little pudgy, as his whole stomach is exposed and slightly protruding. Did he gain a few pounds recently? Again? He hates what he sees so much that he lets out a muffled sob. He feels like collapsing on the bathroom floor and crying his eyes out so he can't see his body anomore.
"Yo, Minny, what's taking you so long?" Ryan knocks the door, tapping the My dad's van rhythm.
"Coming" - Min chokes back the tears and unlocks the door, to face his boyfriend.
For an incredibly long and terrifying moment, Ryan's just there, staring with wide eyes. And then they begin to gleam.
"Woah" - he finally lets out - "Min, my man, you are literally the hottest Asian in existance!" - he grins, not able to take his eyes off of Min-Gi - "Dude, you absolutely gotta wear it for tomorrow's show! I can't believe this, why can't I look this hot in crop tops? How's that supposed to be fair?"
Min scans Ryan's face, searching for any signs of sarcasm on it. But instead he meets only with a pure awe.
"But... you don't think I look.... um... " - he hesitates, afraid to say the scary words out loud.
"No buts. I meant what I said. You have to wear it tomorrow!" - Ryan pulls his boyfriend closer - "The whole audience will be drooling over you, I know what I'm sayin'"
Min doesn't know what to respond with, so he just gives smaller man a hug, eyes filling with new, fresh tears. Ryan doesn't know what exactly he did to deserve the affectionate gesture, but he quickly hugs back, wrapping skinny arms around the keyboardist.
And Min-Gi suddenly doesn't feel shame. He only feels Ryan, with all his love and support.
He breathes in and out.
He's not sure, but he thinks, that maybe he'll finally be truly alright. At least as long as Ryan will be around.