Work Text:
Am I Really Ready For This?
A/N: It begins. Our cowboy’s next in line to be champion. He’s still not quite on board with the idea though, for a few reasons. And Kenny’s there to remind him that he deserves all the good things coming his way.
It was Adam who was waiting for Kenny backstage this time. Kenny immediately cupped his face for a hello kiss, but Adam turned his head away, seemingly torn between pulling Kenny closer or holding him at arm’s length.
“Not here, okay?” he whispered.
“They’ve seen us do so much worse,” Kenny argued, his playful grin quickly morphing into a frown of concern when he saw the look Adam gave him.
“That’s not what I’m worried about. Just… Can we please do this somewhere else? They’ll be back through the curtain any minute now.”
Dark Order, Kenny realized. Oh. He nodded, gently taking Adam’s hand and quickly leading him to a quieter part of the arena. They found themselves high up in the bleachers of the TIAA Bank Field, stars twinkling in the night sky above them, not another soul to be seen or heard besides them. It was then that Adam dove in for a sweet and grounding kiss, and Kenny pulled them together as close as he could.
“I’m sorry,” Adam told him when they pulled away, and Kenny shook his head.
“Don’t be.”
“Every time it’s been brought up, you’ve been ecstatic about the thought of a match between us for the title. And every single time you tell me you can’t wait for me to win. How… How can you have that much confidence in me?”
Kenny hated the lost look in Adam’s eyes, suddenly very glad he was still wearing his aviators, so Adam couldn’t see the worry he was feeling to his very core. He knew Adam could read him without trying, see through his every move or word. Kenny was lost too, scared, facing his own demons. But that wasn’t important right now. Adam’s demons and worries were what was important tonight, and that was what was causing the huge knot of worry in his chest. Of course, Adam swiped the aviators from his face before Kenny could lift a finger.
“Please look at me,” Adam begged. Kenny didn’t speak for a minute, and the silence that ensued had their hearts racing and them clinging to each other even more. Finally, he forced himself to meet Adam’s gaze and hold it, even with everything swirling within it.
“It scares me,” Kenny finally said, “How little faith you have in yourself. It scares me how you can’t seem to fathom the idea that you are one of the best wrestlers in the world, that you’ve worked so hard to get where you are physically and mentally and that you do deserve to be the top guy. It scares me that every time we’re together you look genuinely happy, but one small thing can make the fears and insecurities come flooding right back.” Kenny blinked away a tear, looking away for a moment and taking a deep breath before looking back at him. “I’ve seen you at your worst, and I’d like to think that I’m seeing you at your current best. I know how hard you’ve fought to get here, the sacrifices you’ve made, the pain you’ve had to go through. And I know how much you want to be able to wake up and say and feel and know that you’re on top of the world. I’m confident in you because no matter what you’ve gone through, you kept fighting, even when you stumbled and fell along the way. You kept fighting and you’re still fighting. Because a part of you wants that title more than almost anything.”
“But what if it’s not enough?” Adam’s voice broke at that. “What if I’ve fought so hard for so long… And I still lose?” He hid his face in the crook of Kenny’s neck, sniffling and trying to hold it together as best as he could. “What if I fail again?”
“You won’t,” Kenny told him without hesitation, with more conviction and confidence than Adam ever expected. “But! If some alternate universe you did lose, you know what I would tell him?” Adam chuckled at that. “I would tell him to keep fighting . You have so many people in your corner rooting for you. Whether it’s me, the fans around the world, Dark Order, everyone here: we all believe in you.” Kenny nuzzled Adam’s cheek affectionately when he finally looked up, eyes shining with unshed tears threatening to spill over at any moment. “Now you just have to believe in yourself.”
“I’m trying. I am. It’s just hard… To see things that way when every time something good comes along it gets snatched away from me. The only time it ended differently was with you.” Pure, unbridled love took Kenny’s breath away when he looked into Adam’s eyes then. “And I know the guys meant well,” he continued. “I know they just wanted to help me take that first step, remind you how far I’ve come and what I can do. But… It was like they were…”
“Talking at you and not to you,” Kenny finished quietly. “ Fo r you and not with you.” Adam nodded, looking back on a few more unpleasant memories.
“Yeah… I just wish they would’ve asked me about it first.”
“You’ve avoided talking about me on the show though,” Kenny pointed out. “Every time. You haven’t mentioned or acted like you want the title shot at all. Maybe they noticed and didn’t want you to miss this chance.” Adam sighed.
“I know that’s why, but… Am I really ready for this?”
Kenny brushed his lips lightly over Adam’s, and they both melted into a feather-light kiss, a kiss that teetered on a delicate balance of swirling emotions that could make or break either man. Every movement was delicate, made with purpose: the shifting into one person’s lap, the fingers simultaneously caressing a cheek and wiping away tears, the legs slowly wrapping around the other’s waist, the arms wrapping them in a gentle embrace. Adam whimpered when they had to pull away for air, immediately finding Kenny’s lips again, chasing that connection, that comfort, the feeling that he could do and have anything in the world. They opened their eyes. Steely blue met ocean blue; uncertainty met confidence; worry met reassurance; love met love. Kenny smiled.
“I know you’re ready for this.”