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so kar an i wwere on a date wwhich wwas goin fuckin great an evverything but then kar wwas like "listen you fuckin sack a shit wwevve been on like three dates noww but if you wwanna get any further u gotta fight my league a characterized lovve interests"
and i wwas kinda shocked but thats fine i mean i aint about to back down now and i could fuckin wwreck anyone in a goddamn heartbeat anywways so i was like fine. wwhich wwas about the point gamzee the through the roof wwhich was fuckin disconcertin let me tell you
anywway hes all like honk an i set to wwork on beatin the shit outta him but hes just like honk and an hour later im like wwhat the fuck kar this is is a lovve interest all he does is stand around and say honk but kar wwas like "shippin is blind you shitstain on a mailbox wwe talked in canon i expressed howw much i didnt like him an then wwe wwere moirails wwhy wwouldn't that be a formula for shippin success" an i wwas like thats the dumbest load a crap i evver heard wwasnt he like abusive as fuck to you an kar wwas like "yeah but you just have to overlook that and the insane thing an pretend hes a soporific clowwn" an thats when i learned the important lesson that the only thing more important that mental health is dudes rubbin their junk together an i used that knowledge to blast gams head off wwith heavy wweaponry
anywway after that fight had me tired i didnt get rest for shit before that pissblood assstain of a troll sollux showed up with his goddamn shit eating grin and his computer elitism an wwho am i fuckin kiddin i aint wwasting any more wword on that good for nothing insult to trollkind i killed him end of story
next up was ter wwho i could respect because you knoww there wwas chemistry there an so i wwas like look no hard feelings to wwhich all she had to say wwas "karkles" wwhich doesnt even make sense an so i wwas like ter are you feelin alright but then kar explained this wwasnt the ter i kneww an respected this wwas horrible wweirdly abusive version of her that didnt seem to care about kar at all so i wwas like wwhy is this a thing a then i realised it wwas to trivvialise the complex codependency of kar and ter for the sake a making it seem wworse do as to justify wworse ships about kar bumpin uglies wwith dudes and that wwhen i learned the secocnd lessons a shippin that girls are second rate for the reason a boys so i mercy killed ter rather than let the insult against her name stand any longer
next up wwas the leijon twwins the former wwho wwas just a cryin wwimp on the floor wwho wwe shouldnt evven speak of because wwoww thats barely nep at all an then counter culture nep wwhat had her personality skewwed in the complete other direction wwho wwas at least tolerable to be around but seemed t have no interest in kar wwhatsoevver an so wwe didnt fight an i didnt brawwl wwith the other either because i just felt fuckin sorry for the poor girl
apparently they just counted as one because fifth wwas john egbert an the less i said about this asshole the better long story short i sent him to the mourge pre cremated and then i cremated my clothes because touchin that guy left some kinda dodgy smell on them i dont wwanna think about
sixth was strider an he just kinda stood there lookin cool and flashsteppin around all my attacks wwhich wwas annoying but i didnt mind to much because he wwas so fuckin cool god damn i ended up just leaving him alone because honestly roughin up his vvery pretty face wwould just be a crime
but the most atrocious thing a all was number 7 wwho wwas some kind a bizarre caricature a myself i dont know why but he kept sayin nyeh like thats a thing id ever say an cryin about rejections an that just aint howw i roll so i beat the shit out a him and then wwe had the most epic a blacksnogs because lets face it evven wwith a goddamn awwful personality like that i am fuckin hot and then i kicked his ass to the fuckin curb because i dont need a clingy not me crampin my style you fuckin comprehend thats when i learned my third lesson, to lovve oneself
after all that kar wwas swwooning really hard so i swwept in and wwe made out an then wwent and did the do wwhich i wwas amazin at an no you cant havve the details wwhat the fuck kinda filth do you think this is
the end