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It had been a rough hunt. It was supposed to just be a few vampires, no more than six, but ended up being somewhere around twenty. With the four of them there it worked out all right, but not without a few close scrapes.
Things were always tense after a dangerous hunt, particularly when Cas or Jack was there. It usually boiled down to Cas throwing himself into the fray to defend either Jack or Dean, and ending up with a few cuts and bruises because of it.
Ten years ago he might have been able to do that kind of thing with no problem, but as the years passed, and his grace dulled, small fish fights like vampires started to have risks.
Today’s hunt was no exception. The ride back to the bunker was deadly quiet and the atmosphere was rigid and thick with suppressed anger. Sam had to keep himself from rolling his eyes at his brother as he made yet another glare in the rearview mirror at the backseat.
The reason for said rigid atmosphere was another one of Cas’s self- sacrificing, walking into the crossfire moves to protect Dean. Dean, needless to say, was not happy about it.
So they sat there, in uncomfortable silence for the duration of the ride home with Dean occasionally glancing back at Cas and Jack, and Sam valiantly attempting not to break the silence by forcing them all to work it out and communicate. He settled for a tired sigh.
*****
He pulled a clean t shirt over his head, running his hands through his still wet hair, attempting to comb it. He glanced at the clock, it was just after 10:00 pm so his brother should still be up, what with his bad sleeping habits. Still, he headed out into the hall, making his way towards the library quietly.
As he rounded the corner though he heard hushed voices coming from inside the library.
He paused just outside the doorway, out of sight from whoever was inside. He could just make out what the speaker was saying:
“But you’re angry, you’re angry at me for seemingly no reason I can deduce.”
“Yeah Cas, I am angry, but I’m not angry at you , I’m angry about what you did.”
“But why? There were vampires still attacking you and all I did was help.” Said Cas apparently, sounding genuinely confused
“By throwing yourself into danger?” Grit out Dean.
“You perceive it as danger, but if it was so dangerous then why were you still allowed to be out there fighting?” Asked Cas indignantly.
“Because I don’t care if I get hurt. Okay? Its my job. And my job is to protect people.”
“And that’s not my job too? You think I like seeing you get hurt either? But it’s your choice, just like it’s mine to fight if I want to, especially if it’s to protect you, or Sam, or Jack.”
“But why do you have to end up getting hurt?” Dean almost sounded like his voice was wavering.
There was a moment of silence, it went on for long enough that Sam considered just backing away down the hall and leaving them to their argument. He clearly wasn’t supposed to be hearing it, and he felt vaguely guilty for eavesdropping.
but then Cas spoke; “Dean, you cannot shield me from everything. I’m bound to get hurt at some point, you know that. It’s part of the job. I can’t just stop hunting or fighting because I might get hurt, we don’t have that luxury. I’m sorry I make you worried, and I’m sorry that my actions upset you, but understand that I feel the same way every time you or Jack or your brother are on a case, and I know I can’t stop you, so I just do my best to help. That’s all we can do.”
“I know.” Said Dean softly. “I know.”
Sam chanced a glance around the corner.
Dean's head was bowed, eyes downcast, his chair close enough to Cas’s that their knees were brushing. Cas was looking at him with a sort of fondness and a small smile playing across his lips. Deans hands were lying atop the table, presumably from where he’d been using them animatedly moments before. One twitched, and then he was slowly covering part of Cas’s with his.
Cas just as slowly intertwined a few fingers, their hands coming to rest between them.
His brother brought his head up to look at Cas, they shared a familiar look, as if coming to a silent agreement to put the argument to rest for the moment.
Dean turned his gaze back down to their hands, tracing light circles onto the table top with his other hand. Seemingly at ease in their own quiet little world.
Not wanting to disturb them, or break the fragile moment by entering, Sam finally slipped off down the hallway towards the kitchen.
He knew his brother and Cas were not together, neither of them had done enough self reflection for that. His brother still harbored his own issues, many of which stemming from their childhood, and those would never be easy to shake. He also still had his crippling notion that anything more than familial love was impossible for him in this life. And Cas had been running from heaven and hell for so many years now, he probably hadn’t even given much thought to settling down. So he had no false ideas that the scene he had witnessed was in any way them ‘getting their shit together’ as he liked to put it.
But it was a start.
And even if they never got over their respective issues and let themselves be happy, at least they had some small things.
But for now he’d let them sit together in their peaceful bubble, taking a much needed break from the shit show that is their reality.
And he was going to make himself some tea and go back to bed. Because unlike Dean, he did like sleep, and it took more than 4 hours for him to function.
As he shut off the light to his room, he sent out a prayer to whatever higher power might exist- whether that be Chuck or the remaining angels- to let them have their happy ending. In whatever form that might take.
Heaven and hell knows they deserve it.