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Dear Kakyoin,
I already know what you’re going to say: “Why are you writing me letters when you’re in the room next door to me, idiot?” The truth is, I tend to babble when I’m nervous—yes, I know, I tend to babble ALL the time regardless of if I’m nervous or not—and I know I wouldn’t be able to get across what I wanted to if I tried to tell you all this in person. So I’m going to write it down, and you’re going to read all of it, and you are NOT allowed to make fun of me. At least until after I’ve had a week to get over your rejection.
I know we barely know each other. Hell, we barely speak the same language! But I also know that, out of everyone here in DIO’s mansion, you are the only person who is even remotely worth getting to know. I know you must think that’s an insult, but I promise it’s the highest compliment! I love your dry sense of humor, your intelligence, your somehow inexhaustible knowledge about every topic under the sun, your hair, your eyes, your body, your mind. I love everything about you. Now I’m not very smart, and usually not very in touch with my emotions, especially the ones that hurt, but when we went to the river yesterday, and you methodically showed me all the different kinds of plants and fish and what they were called and what they can be used for, well, it just hit me. Physically hit me, like a punch to the gut. I love you. I don’t want to stop seeing you even after we’re done taking out the Joestar party.
I know, we live half-way across the world from each other, how could this possibly work? It may be silly, but I would move for you. Once I find my sister’s killer, I’ll find you again, and we’ll work something out. Or maybe you’ll work something out, since you’re the brains between the two of us. That is, if you even want to have me at all! If not, feel free to incinerate this letter and pretend it never existed. I’d be okay with that. Really.
But if by some cosmic miracle you feel the same way I do…my door’s always open.
Yours,
Jean-Pierre Polnareff
Dear Kakyoin,
I know what you’re going to say: “Not these stupid letters again!” You didn’t really expect me to stop just because I got DIO’s fleshbud removed from my head, did you? Ha!
I just wanted to thank you for convincing Abdul not to kill me today. It’s weird to think that we’ve been under someone else’s control all this time, that our actions and very thoughts have been influenced since the day we set foot in Egypt. I don’t like thinking about that very much, and I doubt you do either. I hope you’ve been managing to cope with it okay.
As for me…well, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect. It’s hard to feel like anything of the last few months was real, but my feelings for you definitely were. Most of what I remember is lying with you in the dark, your hand in mine, talking about everything and nothing and feeling the most at peace that I have in years. I don’t think DIO could fabricate something like that, something with that much magnitude. You were the one thing during that whole time that I chose for myself, and that will always mean the world to me. I hope you feel the same.
Don’t worry though, I won’t push you about it. I know it’s a lot to process, and that sometimes you need time to do that. I’ll keep my distance for now, but know that I love you and always will.
Yours,
Jean-Pierre
Mon amour Nori,
I’m trying to be healthy about processing everything that happened today, but I probably should learn how to talk to you about these things instead of just writing letters, huh?
I just don’t know how to tell you how much your help in beating that J. Geil bastard means to me. He took the only light of my life from me, and I’ve been crying all day in relief that he’s finally erased from this world, sent straight to hell where he belongs. It’s been three years since Sherry was killed, and I’ve been on the road looking for that bastard the whole time. My only focus was on my revenge – I never thought about…well, after. And now I’m living in the after, and I feel…directionless. I know we still have to defeat DIO, but what then? I haven’t thought about myself since I was a young kid – I’ve dedicated my whole life to Sherry, from raising her and making sure she had the amazing childhood I never got to seeking out the murderer who cut her life so short. But now, for the first time, my life is my own. And I have absolutely no idea what to do with it.
You saved my life, even after what I did to Abdul, so I can’t just let it go to waste. But figuring out what to do with myself…that scares me a lot, Nori. The only thing I’m sure of is that I want to be by your side for as long as you’ll have me.
I’m gonna need your warmth tonight, Nori.
Love,
Jean-Pierre
Dear Kakyoin,
I just wanted to tell you I’m not mad at you. Well, anymore. I was really mad at you at first, but mostly hurt, I think. It felt like you didn’t trust me, after all we’ve been through, and that was almost as painful as being chomped on by zombies that looked exactly like Sherry and Abdul. Today just…sucked, Nori, and it was even worse feeling like you weren’t on my side. Maybe you’re right, and I would’ve blurted it out by accident to an enemy that Abdul was alive, but not being told about it, realizing that everyone knew but me, really shook my confidence.
What else have you guys been keeping from me?
I’ve felt so lost lately, Nori. I’ve told you that before, but it’s worse now. I’m scared of how much you, Jotaro, Joseph, and Abdul all mean to me. I’m terrified of losing you all, and having to start all over. Part of me sometimes feels like I should just cut ties and leave while I still have my heart more or less intact, but I don’t think I can do that either. I’m scared to be with you; I’m scared to be without you. I don’t know what to do.
I don’t expect you to have an answer. I know you’re scared about what this all means just as much as I am, and thinking about it like that…maybe I can understand why you were afraid to trust me. It represented something that both of us have been ignoring up until now.
I think we actually do need to talk about this. Maybe I’m a coward for starting it with this letter, but, well, I honestly didn’t trust myself not to say something I’d regret. I want to get past this, but I need some time, and a plan. I don’t want to always burden you every time something like this happens. I want to be someone you can trust. I want to be someone who isn’t afraid of how much I love you, and of how much you love me.
But until then, I guess you’ll just have to put up with me and my loudmouth.
Polnareff
Mon amour Nori,
I’m sitting with you in the hospital right now, watching you sleep. I miss talking to you, so I’m writing this letter. I know you won’t be able to read it for a while, but have a nurse read it to you or something. (I promise not to write anything scandalous!)
As you know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do after this trip. I’m still at a loss for the most part, but I know at least one thing – I want to show you France, if you can spare the time. I want to show you the mountains and the rivers. I want to show you every last history and art museum that would make your eyes pop out of your head. I want to lay with you in the sun and just explore your skin for hours. Whoops, I promised I wouldn’t write anything scandalous, didn’t I? What can I say, I’m a Frenchman – I love love!
And I love you, Nori. I know we still haven’t really talked about what this all means for us, what we’re going to do when you need to go back to school, but for now let’s forget about all that. Imagine this: you’re laying on a beach, hundreds of miles from your home country. The beach is practically empty, the few voices you do hear speaking a language you barely know. The breeze licks at your cheeks and the waves gently wash over your feet. You’ll have to move soon, or get swept away by the tide, but for now you’re safe. The sun is warm on your body, and the sand at your back caresses you like a lover. You are completely and utterly content, no stress or enemy in sight. And I’m right there beside you, quiet for once.
I want you to think of that when you get bored of being stuck in your hospital bed. And remember that we’ll see each other again soon.
Love,
Jean-Pierre
Mon amour Nori,
I know exactly what you would say if you knew I was writing this letter, and I wish so damn much I could hear you say it. I think I’ll miss the sound of your voice most of all – it was so expressive in a way that you couldn’t quite manage with facial expressions. But who am I kidding? I miss all of you, so much that it feels like there’s a black hole in my chest, sucking out my soul.
Every time I close my eyes I see your broken and battered body. I wish I could think of you as you were, whole and beautiful and defiant, but for some reason it’s the nightmare that sticks with me. You told me once that I was in a nightmare with you – I wonder if it was even half as bad as this. Probably not, since you woke up from it, and I’m stuck in it for every single one of my waking moments.
I’ve been going through your possessions, and I found all those silly letters I used to write you. I couldn’t believe you’d kept them all. After all that protesting and telling me it was stupid, you actually loved it when I sent you one, didn’t you? I wish we could’ve talked about it. I wish we could’ve talked about so many things – half of these letters mention planning our future together, and now that’s impossible. I wish I could’ve taken you to France, laid on the beach with you. I wish I could’ve gone with you to Japan, to learn more about what made you you. I wish I had told you how much I love you one more time. I wish Jotaro and I hadn’t gotten separated from you. I wish I’d been able to land one measly punch in that bastard DIO’s face.
I wish I could kiss you. I wish I could hear that shy laugh of yours. I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe it’s because it feels like you’re still here when I do. You won’t mind if I write a couple more, will you?
Yours forever,
Jean-Pierre