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Everyone always told Bakugou that he had quiet footsteps. At least, when he wasn’t purposefully stomping around to make his presence known.
Which usually caused him to hear things he wasn’t meant to hear. People just kept talking because they didn’t realize he had entered the room.
Kirishima was no exception. In fact, he fell victim to this more than the rest of their classmates. He always got so caught up in his conversations that Bakugou could sit down next to him and he wouldn’t notice until someone pointed it out to him.
This was a recipe for disaster one particular afternoon when Bakugou walked downstairs from his room in search of something to eat. Kirishima sat at the table with Uraraka and Midoriya, absorbed so fully in the topic at hand that he didn't notice Bakugou rifling through the bottom of the refrigerator.
“It’s just...he’s so ARGH! Like, he’s just so PERFECT AND AMAZING and GOD!” Kirishima leans back in his chair while Urakaka and Midoriya exchange a look. From their position at the table, they could both very clearly see Bakugou leaning against the counter, listening in on what Kirishima had to see. Neither of them were particularly concerned, because it wasn’t like Bakugou didn’t know how Kirishima felt about him. They were dating after all.
“I want to stand by his side forever.” Kirishima spoke the words so wistfully that it took a moment for everyone else in the room to process it.
Uraraka was the first one to comprehend, followed a second later by Midoriya. Both of them looked at each other before whipping their heads around to look at Bakugou.
Who was frozen in place, heat taking over his entire body. He went red from the tips of his ears to the bottom of his neck, body betraying the distress that those few words had put him in.
Kirishima, oblivious to the panic that he had caused, continued to gush about Bakugou like he wasn’t standing 10 feet behind him.
“He’s literally the manliest guy I know. At this point, I couldn’t really imagine life without him, y’know? It’s like he’s part of me, as cliche as that sounds. I feel...whole.” Kirishima finally looks up at the pair sitting across from him, unreadable expressions adorning their faces.
Fading footsteps retreat up the stairs as Kirishima turns around, the spot Bakugou had just taken appearing empty to him.
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Bakugou couldn’t face Kirishima after what he had overheard. No part of him was ready to deal with the implications of what Kirishima had said, nor could he explain why hearing it had unsettled him so badly.
He knew that overhearing it wouldn’t bother Kirishima that badly, but his reaction would be more hurtful than he wanted it to be.
So he did the only thing he could think of. He ran away.
From his emotions, from Kirishima, from having to think. Bakugou never really knew how to deal with everything until it built up and exploded from inside of him.
But he was terrible at hiding it from others. So it was painfully obvious that something was wrong.
Especially to Kirishima.
“Does Bakugou seem weird to you guys?” Kirishima flopped onto a couch, surrounded by Ashido, Kaminari, and Sero.
By this point, the word that Bakugou had overheard Kirishima all but beg him to marry him had worked its way through the class, but no one had the gall to bring it up with either Kirishima or Bakugou.
“Why don’t you go talk to him?” Sero’s suggestion made Kirishima raise his head, but none of his friends would meet his eyes.
“Did you guys do something?”
“Did YOU do something?” Ashido covers Kaminari’s mouth with a pillow before he can keep talking, and Sero mumbles something incomprehensible to Kirishima, making him sit up.
“Did I do something? Do you guys know why he’s upset?”
“Not...exactly? I mean, it’s obvious something set him off, right?” Ashido glances at Kaminari pointedly before removing the pillow from the bottom half of his face, and he takes a breath dramatically, trying to lighten the mood.
“I hate when he does this. I always have to scramble to pick up the pieces after he loses it.” Kirishima lays his head in Sero’s lap, visibly relaxing as Sero works his fingers across Kirishima’s scalp.
“Well, he is emotionally stunted-” Kaminari grunts mid sentence as Ashido hits him with the pillow again, this time using enough force to knock him over the couch.
“You’re not helping, Kami. At least TRY to be supportive.” Ashido leans back on the couch, satisfied with her reprimanding for the moment.
“I am! But like, that’s pretty much where all the issues stem from, right? He doesn’t know how to open up about whatever the fuck bothers him until it’s literally too much for him, and then he just blows up on anyone in his vicinity. It’s the same shit every time, man. You need to set some boundaries or something.” Kaminari leans over the edge of the couch, leaning his head on it so he can watch Kirishima’s reaction.
The redhead sighs and sits up, lazily flinging himself off of Sero and into a standing position. He stretches, fingertips desperately attempting to brush the ceiling.
“He’s trying his best. But I guess it’s time for us to talk.”
And with that, Kirishima begrudgingly makes his way up the stairs to the tune of encouragement from his friends. Their voices fade once he enters the hallway to their rooms, leaving him alone as he stood in front of Bakugou’s door, too nervous to knock.
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Bakugou knew that Kirishima was at his door. He heard him stomping through the hallway. He was always heavy footed, but even more so when he was upset.
But Bakugou couldn’t force himself up to open the door. He was so panicked that even the thought of moving was sending him into a spiral.
“Kat? Can I come in?” Kirishima’s voice was so delicate that Bakugou thought it would break if he said no.
So instead, he said nothing. He knew Kirishima would take it as a yes, so he didn’t need to open his mouth and force out words he didn’t have.
Kirishima opened the door to Bakugou sitting on his bed, tucked so far into himself that it looked like he was trying to disappear. Kirishima let the door shut itself, choosing to cross the door and sit backwards in the chair at Bakugou’s desk, arms hanging down and fingertips dancing across the floor.
“Did I do something wrong?” The silence being cut by those five words was the last thing Bakugou wanted. He hated this.
He could never reassure Kirishima the way he needed to. The way Kirishima deserved to be reassured. He didn’t know how to, and he never felt like his words were enough. He knew that whenever he retreated in onto himself that Kirishima took it personally. It was never about Kirishima.
And that was the problem.
“Kat, babe. We can’t keep going through this. It’s not working. I know it, you know it, even our friends can see it at this point. Aren’t you tired?”
“I don’t know how to fix it.” Bakugou’s voice was wet, despite the effort he had gone through to try and get himself under control. He always felt like he was making Kirishima fix every issue that popped up for him, but he didn’t know how to stop it. All his emotions were too overwhelming, and Kirishima was so much better at pointing things out and identifying them than Bakugou was that sometimes, Bakugou didn’t even go through the motions of pretending to try.
He knew it was wrong. He knew it was hurting Kirishima. But everything was just so tiring that he didn’t have the effort to give.
“You don’t have to. At least, not on your own. But you have to talk to me, Kat. I know it’s hard, and I can see you’re upset, but you can’t keep holding everything in. It’s going to kill you.”
“Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Bakugou whispers, simply because he doesn’t think he can handle the answer. Any answer he gets is going to force him to confront emotions he’s not ready to deal with.
“That’s what this is about? Jeez, Kat, you scared me.” Kirishima chuckles gently, filling the room with a sound of love. He stands, taking a seat next to Bakugou.
“In an ideal world, yes. I would love to stand by your side every day until we die, Bakugou Katsuki.”
“But I know it probably won’t work like that. I’ll always be chasing your shadow-”
“Shut up.”
“Kat?” Kirishima didn’t expect to be interrupted, and turned to see Bakugou shaking.
He had managed to somehow push him over the edge.
“You’ve never been chasing my fucking shadow, so cut the bullshit.” Bakugou’s voice trembled with something that mimicked frustration, and he didn’t dare to raise his head.
He knew Kirishima’s concern would truly be his last straw.
“We both know that’s not true. And I’m okay with that.”
“How the fuck could anyone be okay with that?” Bakugou was trying his best not to yell. He knew that managing his anger was part of making their relationship work, but sometimes Kirishima managed to push that big red button that said ‘don’t push’ every argument.
“Because I get to be with you regardless. Even if I’m only able to briefly step into that shadow, I got to experience it-”
“You deserve better. I- You aren’t chasing my fucking shadow. You always do this. You look at me like I’m some sort of untouchable being. I’m right fucking next to you.” Bakugou reaches out, tapping Kirishima’s forehead with his index finger.
“That’s the scary part. You’re always right here next to me, and you’re so close and I keep ending up pushing you away and I feel like I’m going to make you leave. I don’t know how to do this. It’s so much-” Kirishima stops Bakugou in his tracks by reaching out for his hand. He gently presses the knuckles into his lips, cringing a bit as Bakugou sucks in a breath.
“You overwhelm yourself too much, baby. I know that you know that you have people that care for you, so why don’t you come to us? You aren’t a burden.”
“I don’t deserve it.” Bakugou sounded so small that for a moment, Kirishima thought he succeeded in making himself disappear.
Some days, he didn’t know which one of them needed more reassurance.
“Kat, darling, this isn’t something you need to deserve. People care about you. That’s a fact. It’s not something that you cause. They do it because they want to. So lean on them sometimes. Be needy. Don’t hurt yourself so much trying to take on all of the burden yourself. You’ll crash and burn that way.” Kirishima flips Bakugou’s hand over in order to kiss his palm before tracing the lines with his fingers, giggling softly at the shivers that overtake Bakugou.
Bakugou doesn’t have an answer for Kirishima, so he lets him continue to trace his fingers along his palm until Kirishima speaks up again.
“I’m sorry for always acting like you’re unattainable. I can see how that would make it seem like we aren’t close. You’re just always been so inspiring to me; makes it kinda surreal to think that you’re actually sitting right here.”
“Kat?” Bakugou didn’t want to cry; he felt that it always made him look like he was trying to paint himself as a victim.
But his emotions always built up too easily and too quickly for him to let them out any other way.
Kirishima sighed, an earth moving sound that hurt Bakugou even more than he had been.
“I’m sorry.” Wiping his eyes did nothing to stop the stream of tears, and soon his entire frame was trembling from the combination of his sobs and him trying to stop the sobbing.
“You don’t have to be, Kat. I’m not upset with you. I just wish you didn’t let it get to this point all the time.”
“I don’t know how to reach out to people. I...don’t know how to be vulnerable.”
“It’s okay, baby. But promise me you’ll at least try for me?” Bakugou nods vigorously, letting Kirishima’s smile relax him.
“Now c’mere. I don’t like when you sit all the way over there and look all sad’ it’s like a depressed puppy.
“‘M not a puppy.” Still, Bakugou crawled into Kirishima’s arms, laying on top of him as Kirishima began to nibble on his cheeks softly. He swatted at Kirishima, making him start to giggle again.
“You’re so cute that I forget sometimes.”
“Not cute.” Bakugou pouts slightly, causing Kirishima to kiss him until he stops.
“I wanna stay with you forever. I don’t care if it’s hard.” Bakugou whispers against Kirishima’s neck, and a smile lights up Kirishima’s features.
Every part of this was going to be hard. He knew that before he started. But standing next to Bakugou was something that made the hard parts worth it.