Work Text:
-------
Bakugou could tell just from Kirishima’s knock that there was something wrong. So he steeled himself for the tirade that was going to happen when he opened the door to see the redhead pacing back and forth in front of it,
“Katsuki!” The excitement that bled into Kirishima’s voice sounded almost artificial; a long shot from his usual self.
Bakugou didn’t speak, instead choosing to simply let Kirishima in and closing the door behind him. He sat on his bed, amusedly watching as Kirishima dives headfirst into a rant that he could not comprehend in the slightest.
Every sentence that came out of Kirishima’s mouth seemed to be the start of a new story, and his body language wasn’t helping, either. Throwing his hands in every direction, Kirishima resembled Shouji for a moment, and it took Bakugou a lot of energy to keep himself from laughing.
Kirishima tripping over the edge of the table didn’t help. Nor did it manage to stop his venting. In fact, it seemed to send him into high gear, voice reaching new pitches that Bakugou had never heard come from him.
As entertaining as it was to watch Kirishima go through...whatever had a grip on it, after about five minutes of incomprehensible nonsense, Bakugou broke.
-------
“Kir.” That one syllable was enough to stop Kirishima in his tracks.
It always was.
Kirishima realized early in their relationship that Bakugou didn’t really do pet names. He didn’t particularly mind when Kirishima called him one, but a pet name would never be uttered from his lips, not even in the most romantic of situations.
At first, it bothered Kirishima to no end. He didn’t want to ask about it, because he knew that Bakugou wouldn’t have agreed to date him if he wasn’t interested in doing so. But a small part of him still felt like Bakugou deserved better, and knew it. That he was only playing Kirishima.
Until one day, very sleepily and in a daze, he called out to Kirishima in the softest, gushiest, most in love way that Kirishima had ever heard. All he had asked was for Kirishima to pass him his shirt, but Kirishima was so lost that for a moment he didn’t realize the words even came from Bakugou’s mouth. It was such a stark contrast to his usual way of addressing Kirishima that he didn’t believe that Bakugou could sound like that.
It took Bakugou calling his name twice more before he realized that it was indeed Bakugou asking for his shirt and not a foreign entity.
After that, Kirishima didn’t worry. Every ounce of Bakugou was filled with love for Kirishima, and he could hear it when Bakugou spoke his name.
Especially this time.
-------
“Yes, Kat?” Kirishima looked up from his rant to see Bakugou gazing at him, eyes softening as they locked onto Kirishima’s.
“You know I love you, but what the fuck are you talking about?”
“You weren’t listening??” Bakugou has to hold up his hands in order to stop Kirishima from relaunching into his anger fueled mess of a speech, and it only barely works. Kirishima vibrates with pent up emotion, making Bakugou smile softly at him despite himself.
“I was listening, I promise, Ei. It just didn’t make any sense.”
“How didn’t it make sense?? I said so much, how did you not get it??”
“Summarize your main point then. Twenty words or less.” This was a favorite of Bakugou’s in order to calm Kirishima down. Oftentimes, Kirishima got so wrapped up in himself that he couldn’t properly explain what was making him upset. He needed Bakugou to help him take that step back and truly assess the situation.
Other times, though, there wasn’t actually a point. Like this time.
Kirishima’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly as he tried to sum up the brunt of his feelings. Noticing this, Bakugou opened his arms, and Kirishima fell into them so hard that he managed to knock both of them into the bed rather aggressively.
“It’s that bad, huh?” Bakugou looked up at Kirishima, pressing a kiss into his forehead as the redhead whined.
“I just...why is everything so difficult?”
“Even this?” Kirishima sighed, rolling from on top of Bakugou to lay next to him, spreading his arms across the bed.
“Sometimes. Not right now, but it is. All relationships are. It’s not in particular very difficult, and you’re way more adaptable and compromising than I’d thought you’d be. But yeah, sometimes it’s rough, Kat. Not on purpose.”
“I see.” The only thing that filled Bakugou’s words was longing, and it permeated the room so thoroughly that Kirishima ached with a pain that wasn’t his. He turned to Bakugou, watching as his chest rose and fell with the weight of unshed tears, slightly confused on where it came from.
“Kat?”
“Mmmm?”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No. Just...wanna be good. For you.” Kirishima leaned on Bakugou’s shoulder, walking his fingers down his chest until he could find Bakugou’s hand and interlock their fingers. The way they laid took up too much of the small bed frame, and their feet hung off at odd angles. For a moment, the only sound that filled their space was breathing. Chest heaving, throat restricting breaths from Bakugou, while the air that poured from Kirishima’s body was full of concern.
Kirishima didn’t understand what was upsetting Bakugou enough to try to comfort him, and he knew better than to try to coax an answer from the blonde. It was better to wait until he was able to speak for himself.
“I’m not good at this.” Bakugou’s first words were always quiet, as if he was afraid that by breaking the silence, he was shattering something much more sacred.
“It’s not something you have to be good at right off the bat, Kat.”
“But we’ve been together-”
“So?” Kirishima nudges Bakugou’s chin until he turned to face Kirishima, love and worry and pain staining his irises.
“Kat, baby.” Kirishima brings up a hand to cup Bakugou’s face, cringing as Bakugou closes his eyes and leans into the touch. His frame shakes as tears pour from him silently, and Kirishima can only watch, rubbing his thumb gently across the skin of Bakugou’s cheek.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou hiccuped, and Kirishima felt as though everything that had been upsetting him was nonexistent. It was obvious that he had missed the signs of Bakugou’s feelings, or rather that Bakugou had began to hide them again.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, love. Why did you let yourself build up like this?”
“Because I could tell you were upset. N I didn’t want to-” Bakugou paused, an unearthly silence taking hold of the pair as he attempted to explain the weight shifting in his chest.
“I feel like I keep messing everything up. I thought that if I wanted to be with you, and you wanted to be with me, then everything would just...work out. I don’t know how to do this, and it’s scary. I keep hurting you on accident and then I’m hurt because I don’t want you to be hurt. How do people do this without going insane?” Sniffles replaced the silence, and Kirishima could do little to comfort Bakugou while he thought of an answer.
“You are very precious to me, Bakugou Katsuki. If things were going to be hard with someone, I’m glad it’s you.”
Kirishima didn’t have the words that Bakugou needed. He knew he didn’t. He didn’t know how to reassure him through the things he was struggling with. All he could do was stand with him through it.
“Why?”
“I couldn’t tell you how my heart works, babe. It latched on to you the moment it saw you. And it was right. You may not have any experience with this, and you may think you’re doing terribly, and we may hurt each other, but it helps us grow, don’t you think? I think it’s important for us, at least in moderation. Plus, you make me feel much more loved than you have ever hurt me, and once you mess up, you fix it and you don’t do it again. So I know that we do grow from our mistakes. I think it makes us stronger. And I don’t want anyone else. Just you.” Kirishima brings Bakugou’s hand to his lips, listening to the sound of air whistling through Bakugou’s nose. He always got stuffed up after he cried.
“Is this what love is supposed to be like?”
“Well, you’re the only person I’ve ever loved, so I only have this to go off of.” Bakugou hummed quietly at the response to his question, staring at the ceiling with such intensity that it seemed like it would grow lips and answer him itself.
“Baby, listen-”
“I don’t think love is enough to hold us together, Kir.” Kirishima was so conflicted at the words coming from Bakugou's mouth that he couldn’t speak. On one hand, Bakugou was speaking to him with such affection that it was dizzying. But the words that came from him were so discontent that Kirishima wondered whether the affection was even real, or just a facade.
“Kat.”
“I don’t care. I- I can be better. I WILL be better. For us. I want to try. I just don’t want to fuck up so bad that you leave.”
“God, you scared me, jerk.” Kirishima grabbed a pillow, hitting Bakugou with it softly.
“What do you mean, I fucking scared you? I’ve been scared this whole time!”
“Because you sounded like you were trying to break up with me!”
“Huh?” Bakugou sat up, leaning overtop of Kirishima in order to view the redhead better.
“Hello? ‘I don’t think love is enough to hold us together’ doesn’t sound like a break up line to you???”
“Oh. I can see how that would be concerning.” Bakugou’s monotone made Kirishima start giggling despite the situation, and soon the tension melted from the both of them, drifting somewhere at the bottom of the bed until it escaped underneath it.
“Just concerning? Really? You almost killed me, man.” Kirishima’s giggles wash away all of Bakugou’s worries, making him chuckle.
“And now you have the audacity to laugh? You’re so mean!” Kirishima hits Bakugou with the pillow again, laughing as Bakugou takes it from him with a glint in his eye that tells Kirishima that there’s only way to escape his punishment.
So he leans up and kisses Bakugou gently.
Not that the force mattered. It was still enough to make Bakugou drop the pillow in favor of cupping the back of Kirishima’s head with trembling fingers.
When they break apart, they’re wearing the same grin.
“I wanna be with you whether we’re good or bad at this, Kat. We can just figure it out along the way, right?” Bakugou nods his forehead into Kirishima, making his partner erupt in more giggles that soothe the woes he had had before.
“Still wanna be good.”
“Yeah, yeah, we know. You want to be the best. Just shut up and kiss me again.”