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Summary
Something moves in her peripheral vision, and she turns her head to see Pansy Parkinson perfectly framed by Neville’s bedroom window in the Head-chambers. Pansy’s wearing her flirtatious smile, her red lipstick all kissed off, and Hermione feels a stab of envy so abrupt that it startles her. It’s not about Neville – she’s been over her silly infatuation with Neville for years now. It’s about Pansy and at the same time, it's not really about Pansy. It’s about her smile and the happiness in it, how unadulterated it is, how easy.
Pansy disappears from view and Hermione forces herself to refocus on her book, but she is in that part of the story where Jo goes to New York after she refuses Laurie’s proposal, and the envious sensation lodged at the base of Hermione’s throat remains.
She wants to be like Pansy, who seems to never be hesitant about boys, or going after what she wants. She wants to be like Ginny, so sure in her decisions, so at peace with whatever consequences might come her way. She wants to be like Jo March, making her own choices, even if they are selfish, even if they’re questionable.
A post-war Hermione Granger trades a box of chocolates for a very personal favor.