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“If you leave me here, we’re done,” you had said to him. Blue eyes met yours, a battle being waged in his mind.
“Then I guess we’re done,” he said. Steve had left you in Vienna, taking Sam with him to hunt down Bucky. According to him, it was too dangerous for you to go with him. But it was perfectly fine for Sam to go with him. You went to Natasha, went to Tony, and did the one thing you promised Steve you wouldn’t. You signed the Accords. You didn’t support them, but the pressure was on. If luck was on your side, amendments could be made.
He was angry when he saw you in Berlin, standing side by side with Tony, ready to do whatever was necessary to take him in. You barely looked at him, instead, looking at those he had with him. Wanda. Clint. Sam. Scott. And Bucky. Bucky locked eyes with you, and you knew he knew who you were, who you were to Steve. Rather, who you had been.
You were snapped out of your memories by the sound of a baby crying. You hadn’t known in Berlin that you were pregnant. You wouldn’t find out for another three weeks and by then, Tony’s friendship with Steve lay in ruins in Siberia, with Steve and Bucky gone like ghosts. You headed into the nursery, picking your daughter up.
“Hey lovebug, what’s wrong, huh? You hungry?” you asked as you held her. You headed over to the rocking chair by the window, looking out at the compound grounds. The compound was quiet these days.
The team was still so fractured, with Clint back with his family, Sam, Natasha. and Wanda off wherever Steve was. Tony and Pepper lived in a cabin with their own bundle of joy on the way. It was just you and Rhodey most days, with Thor and Bruce still off-world. You knew Tony spoke to Steve occasionally, but with the former Captain America still on the run, it was a risk.
“How are you doing?” Rhodey asked. You shrugged, looking down at your daughter who was blissfully unaware of everything around her.
“I miss him sometimes. But he made his choice,” you said. He sighed.
“You know he was doing what he thought was right. He’s always been protective of you. When he saw you in Berlin...I don’t think he was angry you were fighting. He was angry you weren’t next to him and that was his own damn fault,” he said. You knew Rhodey’s thoughts on the matter had changed in the time since the Accords were signed. The division they caused wasn’t worth the paper the Accords had been written on. You were closer to having them overturned, to having the names of the so-called rogue Avengers cleared, but it took time.
“It doesn’t change things. Even if he were to come back...I don’t think I could forgive him,” you said as you glanced up at him from where you were seated in the rocking chair.
You had made Tony promise not to tell Steve. Your daughter’s birth had happened in seclusion. No hospital record to be had, just a birth certificate that bore only your name. If you had it your way, he would never know she existed. It was better that way, in your mind. He could never cause her pain by walking away if you never gave him the chance in the first place.
As you rocked in the chair, you watched out the window, knowing something was coming on the horizon, still unsure of what was going to happen.
It wasn’t long before all hell broke loose. Only a week after your conversation with Rhodey, your world was thrown for a loop and back into the chaos of the fight. Thanos was a real threat and you entrusted care of your daughter to your parents. You couldn’t trust that the compound would be a safe place for her to stay. You were surprised when Steve and the others showed up at the compound. When he saw you, he looked conflicted. You were determined to cut him off at the pass, to let him know where you stood.
“You--,” he started speaking before you cut him off.
“I’m not speaking to you, Rogers. I’m here to save our goddamn planet,” you said. Bruce was looking between you two, still not entirely caught up on what had happened.
“Right,” he said. The flight was uncomfortable for you, tension thick in the air. You heard the whispered conversation between Bruce and Natasha, talking about what had happened, while skillfully avoiding the one thing Steve didn’t know. Bruce had seen your daughter before you brought her to your parents, not long before the others had shown up. The list of people who knew about her was a short one, and you preferred it that way.
“Ten minutes to wheels down,” Steve said, breaking the silence that had settled over the jet. You had been out of the field since Berlin, technically retired. You had been unsure of returning after your daughter was born, at least for a while. If there was ever anything worth pulling yourself out of retirement for, it was saving the world from Thanos.
When the jet landed in Wakanda, you hung back when he greeted Bucky, opting instead to glance around at the landscape before you. You had work to do. Distraction was not something you could afford. You knew the fight would be there before you knew it. You may have been out of the field, but you had kept up with your own training, always ready to head into the fight if you were needed. Some habits never died.
There wasn’t much time before everyone was in battle mode, ready to fight, to attempt to defeat Thanos before he could destroy everything. You simply nodded at Steve when he caught your eye as you all moved to meet the fight. You had to trust he’d have your back out there and he had to trust that you had his, despite all that had happened.
When the battle came to you, you shared a look with Thor. You only had one chance to end this. Coordinating with the god wordlessly, you were able to distract Thanos from him. You had powers that allowed you to control the elements, in whatever form they took, down to the smallest atom. A being as large as Thanos meant you were going to be exerting yourself as he tried to thwart your abilities.
“You...think you can defeat me?” Thanos forced out. You didn’t react immediately. You needed to focus until Thor could take aim. As you saw Thor move toward Thanos, you smirked.
“No. I know I can,” you said as Thor made his move. You grabbed the gauntlet as the titan fell, allowing Wanda to take it and destroy the stones. With their leader fallen, you knew his army would soon follow as you slumped over, exhaustion over taking you. It had been a long time since you’d had to use your abilities so extensively. Natasha was quick to be by your side. You could hear her tell someone to not get closer. You could only assume it was Steve.
“Come on, let’s get you checked out,” she said, helping you up. You nodded. You leaned against her, unsteady on your feet. It wasn’t long before you felt yourself passing out, vaguely hearing Natasha call out for help.
When you awoke, you were in a hospital bed. Someone was beside you, that much you could tell as you adjusted to the light of the room. You glanced to the side, unsure of how you felt when you saw Steve sitting there, fast asleep and looking like he hadn’t bothered changing in the wake of the battle.
“Ah, I see you’re awake. The Captain has been insistent on staying by your side, even after we assured him you would be fine. You simply needed rest after exerting yourself,” a voice came. You glanced toward the door. King T’Challa stood there. You hadn’t had much of an opportunity to speak with him before everything happened.
“That sounds about right,” you replied. You held a brief conversation with him before medical staff entered to check on you. It wasn’t long before Steve had woken up, just as a nurse finished writing something in your chart.
“You have to be the dumbest man alive to risk being in here,” you said before Steve could speak.
“I just--,” you cut him off before he could continue.
“No. My turn to talk. You left me, Steve. I was all in and you left me. I’m not some dainty princess in a tower that needs to be protected. I’m a goddamn Avenger. And you treated me like a fragile child. And that hurt. It was you and me together, not you deciding what I could and couldn’t do, what was too dangerous for me,” you told him, your voice low and full of anger.
“Nothing can ever take back what I did. As soon as I walked away I knew I made a mistake but I was too stubborn to admit to myself that I made a mistake. You are one of the strongest women I know. I was scared of losing you to the fight and in my mind it would be easier to lose you in my life than to never have the chance to see you again,” he explained. You sighed.
“You know how stupid that sounds right?” you asked. He nodded.
“I know. Nothing will ever make up for what I did. What I said,” he replied. The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. Your phone was sat on the table beside the bed. You saw a notification come in from your mother. Steve glanced at the phone, brow furrowed as he read the message.
“Who’s lovebug? Did you get a dog or something?” Steve asked. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from you. You made a decision in that moment. If the two of you were going to be honest with each other, you knew you had to tell him.
“No. No, uh. Lovebug is a nickname. For our daughter,” you said. You watched as a range of emotions played across his face. Steve was never good at hiding his emotions when it came to you. You saw surprise. You saw hurt, confusion, anger, and finally, sadness.
“We have a daughter?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“Yeah. Before you ask, I didn’t know until after Berlin that I was pregnant. If I had known then, I wouldn’t have fought,” you told him.
Time ticked by as you and Steve talked. About Berlin. About your pregnancy, your daughter. You weren’t sure if the two of you would ever get back to where you’d been. But you knew it would be one step at a time.