Work Text:
The drive was always the worst part. Halfway between the compound and your home sat Annie’s Diner. You used to frequent there, in happier times. It was a staple for you, for him, and even for the team. Now it only served to remind you of what once was. The compound sat on the northern side of town, on the outskirts. You lived to the south. Still too young for school, the kids were ready to head to see their father at three. It would only take ten minutes, tops, to drive to the diner. The town was small enough, which was what made it perfect to have the compound just outside the limits.
The giggles of your two children in the backseat made you laugh. Sarah had just turned five, while James was three. Named after two of the most important people in Steve’s life. Their middle names were names you had suggested. Steve had wanted to alternate who’s choice got preference, but you were adamant in going with his choices for names. They were names you liked too. You knew he wanted a big family. For the longest time, you had wanted that with him, until the cracks began to show and it all shattered around you.
It had started with the small things. You, exhausted at the end of the day. Steve, also exhausted, but refusing to slow down, something the two of you had agreed upon when you were pregnant with Jimmy. You were lucky enough to have a job where things were flexible, working as a freelance writer. Another point of contention for you and Steve, who insisted you didn’t need to work. It felt like he refused to understand it was less about need and more about want. You wanted to work.
In the end, it was his unwillingness to slow down like he had promised that led to the divorce. Too many nights spent putting the kids to bed alone. Sleepless nights with a colicky Jimmy while Sarah was restless because she wanted daddy to read her a bedtime story. Couples counseling didn’t work when half of the couple kept missing appointments because of missions and meetings.
You remembered the day you handed him the divorce papers. You had asked Natasha if she could take the kids to the park. You had spent the entire time Steve was out of town on yet another mission packing things and moving them to a house you were renting across town, out of the compound, away from Steve and the team. He was absent a lot with work, yes, but when he was home, he was a doting father. You would never deprive him of time with his children, but you couldn’t keep living like that.
“Honey? Where are you?” you heard him call as the door to your home opened. Tony had built houses on the grounds of the compounds for the team. More privacy as more of the team began thinking of settling down. The safety of being on the grounds was also a factor. Tony had slowed down to only major missions, working more on research and development for new tech for the team while creating new products for Stark Industries. One of his newest developments was a smart car seat. You didn’t question how it functioned. You knew he’d gone into overdrive with the news of Pepper’s pregnancy. Jimmy was a year old, his older sister nearing her third birthday.
“In here,” you called from the living room. You were starting to second guess yourself. But you knew you couldn’t keep living like this. He had promised to slow down. He had promised to be there more, out in the field less. But it never happened. You were terrified that the day would come where Bucky or someone else would sit you down and tell you Steve hadn’t made it home.
“What’s wrong?” he asked taking in your appearance. Your eyes were watery. Tear tracks were clear on your face. You took a shaky breath.
“I want...I want a divorce. This isn’t working Steve. It’s not,” you said, your voice wavering. You saw the shock on his face.
“Sweetheart, sweetheart no. No. I love you. You know that,” he said.
“Steve. I asked you to slow down. You haven’t slowed down. If anything you’ve increased your workload. Nat told me how dangerous this last mission was. We have two children, Steve. Two children who barely know their father! I asked you to go to counseling with me but you always miss it because of work. This isn’t a marriage anymore. When’s the last time we went on a date or even just laid in bed talking after the kids are in bed? When’s the last time we acted like a couple and not two roommates?” you argued. He ran a hand through his hair. You weren’t wrong. And he hated himself for that.
“Is it what you want?” he asked after a moment of contemplation. Your face told him everything. No. This wasn’t what you wanted. No one ever set out to get married only to get divorced. What you wanted was something he was unwilling to give you.
“No. But what I want and what I need are two different things,” you told him. He leaned against the wall, head hung low. He knew in that moment there would be no fixing this. The damage was far past repairing.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“I know,” you replied as you stood up. You walked to him, papers in hand. He saw the way your hands shook as you handed them to him, silent sobs you were suppressing moving through your body. He wrapped his arms around you as his heart shattered. He swore he could hear yours breaking too as the dam broke once more. Two people who had once been so in love, now stood as strangers in what had been their home.
You weren’t sure how long the two of you had stood there in silence, the weight of reality bearing down on the two of you. You were startled when you heard the door open, Natasha returning with the children.
“Mama? Why you sad?” Sarah asked as the toddler bounded up to you. How did you explain this to a child too young to understand? You looked at Steve, the two of you sharing a look of concern.
You were pulled out of your thoughts as you pulled into the same spot as always. Steve was already there. He had missed his last three weekends with them, a mission calling him away for over a month. You wondered if he ever thought about slowing down. It felt like he had taken the divorce as a greenlight to continue throwing himself into his work. It worried you. Part of you never stopped loving him, never stopped hoping he’d slow down, realize what he’d lost, and come sweep you off your feet all over again.
You knew he didn’t date. Neither did you. You wondered if he felt the same way, wishing you were still together, that your story had never taken a turn toward the ending. You wondered if the guilt of broken promises kept him awake at night. The part of you that still hurt hoped they did.
You unbuckled yourself, turning the car off, before getting out and letting the kids out. Sarah gave you a hug before running to her father, who scooped her up in a bear hug. You felt an ache in your chest as you watched the scene in front of you. It was moments like that which made you feel the twinge of regret. You knew you had done what you believed was best for everyone involved. It didn’t make it easier.
“Hi lovebug. How have you been?” he asked. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice. You had asked him if he wanted to postpone. He had gotten back early that morning. He was adamant in keeping to the schedule. You had offered the week, but you knew before you did that he would turn that down. Too much work and not enough time to spend with the kids. You were happy that he at least ignored work on the weekends he had with them, unless a dire emergency arose. You knew somewhere inside him, he wanted that time, that he hated the amount of time he was missing out on. You just wished he would put family above duty.
“Ready bub?” you asked Jimmy. The toddler nodded. He was always so quiet. You picked him up, grabbing his and his sister’s bags. They had clothes at Steve’s, but there were things they wouldn’t leave home without. Favorite stuffed animals, a favored blanket, and bedtime stories. Barbie dolls and coloring books. You carried him to Steve’s car, where Sarah was already buckled into her booster seat. Steve took the bags from you as you set Jimmy in his carseat. For a moment, you allowed yourself to believe you were one family again.
“I’ll let you know if anything comes up,” Steve said, his tone strained. A moment passed between the two of you before you nodded.
“I’ll see you Sunday,” you replied, turning to walk away. You could have sworn you saw his mouth open, as if he was about to say something else before changing his mind. You headed to your car, buckled yourself in, and pulled out of the lot, knowing Steve wouldn’t leave until he saw you safely leave the lot. You’d argued with him about that early on.
As you drove away, Steve felt a familiar ache in his chest. Watching you walk away would always be one of the most difficult things in his life, something he was destined to repeat every weekend he had a chance to be with the kids.
The drive back home was filled with Sarah excitedly talking about the new friend she had made in the neighborhood. Steve knew about him already. You took the safety of the kids just as seriously as he did, always worried that their last name and connection to him and the Avengers would put them at risk, but too stubborn and perhaps still too hurt, to want anything to do with remaining on the compound. He respected that choice and did what he could to ensure the safety of the kids, and of you, while you lived away from the safety of the Avengers compound. It hadn’t been easy to get you to agree to some of the measures at first. Not until Tony intervened.
It wasn’t long before he was on the familiar roads leading to the house after clearing the security checkpoint when he arrived at the compound. He remembered when he first showed you the house. He remembered the day you walked out. And he remembered the day he returned to an empty house after a long day of trying to work out the divorce agreement. You had been stubborn when it came to what security measures you wanted or didn’t want, determined to try to be normal when you were anything but.
Mediation had been difficult when it came to some of the issues at hand. The biggest hurdle were the disagreements over how to handle the very real target that was on your back and the backs of your children by virtue of your connection to Steve. You were stubborn. You didn’t want FRIDAY or any other security measures at your new home.
“Would you listen for one minute?! This is the safety of you, of our children that we’re talking about here. I want the peace of mind that you are all safe!” Steve argued. The lawyers for the pair of you had long since given up on getting either of you to quiet down for any length of time.
“With Tony Stark’s AI that can spy on me? No thank you,” you retorted.
“The same AI that’s been in our home since it was built,” he replied.
“That’s different and you know it,” you snapped.
“Alright, we’re clearly not getting anywhere right now. Mr. and Mrs. Rogers, we’re breaking for thirty minutes. I trust that we’ll come back and reach an agreement,” your mediator said. You rolled your eyes before storming out of the room. Natasha had taken your kids for the day, along with Bucky and Sam. You headed outside, determined to clear your head. Steve had the same idea.
You had run into Tony, unaware of Steve’s presence. Though he knew he should turn and walk away, he was too curious for his own good. Tony had been on the receiving end of venting from both of you. Steve knew Tony wanted what was best for the both of you, even if it meant your marriage ending. You had become like family to Tony, that much he knew.
“How’s it going today?” Tony asked.
“He wants to put FRIDAY in my house, Tony. You have to know why that’s such a hard line no from me,” you explained. Tony sighed.
“Kid. I was going to suggest the same thing. You’re vulnerable if you’re not here. And I understand why you moved off the compound. I do. But you need to understand the risk you’re putting yourself and the kids in. Steve’s got a lot of enemies. Enemies who know about you, about Sarah, about Jimmy. They won’t hesitate to come after you if they think you’re unprotected,” Tony said. Steve heard as you let out a sorrow filled sob. If it was possible, his heart broke even more.
“Hey, hey, look at me, look at me. When’s the last time you let any of this out, kiddo?” Tony asked. Steve walked away before he intruded anymore on the moment.
“Auntie Nat is here!” Sarah exclaimed, pulling Steve out of his thoughts as he pulled into the driveway. Once he parked the car and unlocked the doors, Natasha was quick to help the five year old unbuckle herself and free her from her booster seat.
“You think I would miss a chance to see you?” Natasha asked as she scooped the young girl up into a hug.
“What brings you around, Nat?” Steve asked as he set about unbuckling Jimmy after grabbing their overnight bags out of the car.
“Nothing work related. Just wanted to see these little menaces before I head out. Mission in Sydney with Sam and Wanda,” Natasha explained.
“Didn’t you just get back from Prague?” Steve questioned. Natasha nodded.
“We have a lead in Sydney. Fury almost put you on, but Maria tore into him about how you haven’t seen these two in a month,” Natasha told him. Steve felt his heart constrict at that reminder. He didn’t mean to throw himself into work so hard. Or maybe he did. He didn’t know anymore. The divorce had been finalized well over a year prior. Closer to two years now, he supposed. He still missed laying beside you in bed. Sneaking in late from a mission, sliding into bed beside you, and you finding him in the dark, moving your head to his chest in your sleep.
The weekends he didn’t have the kids, he threw himself into work even more. He couldn’t stand the silence. It was far too loud, the absence of laughter, of crying, of the chattering from the kids. Even when they were there, there was still a you sized hole that would never be filled. Not unless the impossible happened and the two of you found your way across the chasm back to each other.
The afternoon was spent playing with the kids and helping Sarah perfect tying her shoes. She was determined to get it perfect. Once they were down for a nap, Steve set about making dinner. He knew Sarah loved spaghetti. It was something Steve made for himself often enough. The pasta had finished just as the kids were waking up.
Sarah stared at the plate in front of her. Steve had made cheesy garlic bread to go along with the spaghetti. He watched as she poked at the strands of pasta with her fork and slowly took a bite. He frowned as she made a face.
“That’s not how mommy makes it. Mommy makes it with meat sauce,” Sarah declared. She took another small bite. Jimmy was mimicking his big sister, but seemed to like it more. Steve had the distinct feeling it wasn’t about the spaghetti. Sarah had eaten his spaghetti countless times without complaint. No. He knew she was letting him know she was upset, in her own way. Her therapist had once explained to him and to you that Sarah would likely express her emotions in different ways. She was still a child, feeling strong emotions that she may not have known how to voice. Big emotions in a small body was how she had explained it.
It was going to be one of those weekends of helping her figure out how to navigate her feelings, something Steve never felt fully prepared for. It added to the heartbreak of it all, knowing it had been his own unwillingness to budge, to change, that put his little girl in a position to navigate the realities that came with her parents being apart.
After bath time and a bedtime story that night, Steve found himself sitting on the porch, looking up at the sky as a shooting star streaked across, a wish whispered into the stillness of the night.
Saturday morning, the sun streamed through your bedroom window as you woke up. You glanced at the alarm clock on your dresser, the red numbers telling you it was just past seven thirty in the morning. Weekends when you had the kids, you were up by 8, making breakfast and getting ready for the day.
The silence of the house was jarring when they were with Steve. You tried sleeping in on those weekends, but it never happened. Your body was used to the schedule. The absence of the kids did nothing to change it. The only thing it did manage to do was set you on edge. You never did like the quiet.
You yawned as you stretched out in your bed. You knew you should get up. It took you a few minutes to pull yourself from bed. You checked your phone as you walked toward the bathroom. A text from Natasha checking in on you, as she did every time Steve had the kids and she wasn’t on a mission that required her to leave her phone behind. You were fairly certain Natasha was almost as devastated as you were by your divorce. She understood why you initiated it, but had always been one of the biggest supporters of you and Steve getting together.
Nat: Saw the kiddos yesterday before heading out on a mission. I’m coming to see you when I get back
You laughed a little as you read her text before responding. It was typical of Nat to tell you exactly what was going to happen, no question about it. There was a reason you and Steve had named her as the godmother of your children. You set your phone down as you set about your morning routine before heading down the stairs to the kitchen, flipping on the television in the living room to break up the silence. A Hallmark movie played in the background, your guilty pleasure.
You remembered when your relationship felt like a Hallmark movie. You had met Steve at a bookshop of all places, years before. A true Hallmark style romance followed, with marriage and children, before it all fell apart when the reality set in. The reality that Steve was a busy man. That he put his duty first. As you began preparing your scrambled eggs, your mind drifted to the first time the fractures in your marriage became evident.
You were in the last weeks of your pregnancy. You were due any day. Soon enough, your son would be in your arms and Sarah would be a big sister. Steve had promised to take time off, to make sure he would be there. He had nearly missed Sarah being born because of a last minute mission in Greece. He was due home any time from work. You knew it was possible he’d be running late. He had been training some of the recruits that day, those who were almost ready to go into the field.
Just as you finished setting the table for dinner, your phone chimed with a text notification. Your face fell as you read it.
Steve <3: Mission to a classified location. Won’t be home for dinner. Should be back in 2 days.
You sighed as you read it. It was starting to become a routine at this point. Steve hadn’t always thrown himself this hard into work. But you knew things had been stressful. Bucky was still technically wanted and the less information you knew the better. Steve was getting frustrated with the slow movement of bureaucracy. He had been home less and less. You sent him a reply, telling him to be safe and that you loved him, before putting his plate back on the shelf.
“Looks like it’s just you and me again, little miss,” you said as you picked Sarah up. You placed the toddler’s plate in front of her as you made your own plate. After she finished eating, you wiped her face, placing her in her playpen as you cleaned up the dinner mess. You winced as you felt a contraction. They’d been happening on and off over the course of the day, but you were convinced they were Braxton-Hicks. They hadn’t been consistent.
It wasn’t until you had Sarah in her pajamas and tucked in that you realized it was the real deal. You tried calling Steve, knowing he wouldn’t be likely to pick up. Your next call was Natasha.
Things moved quickly from there. Natasha came to take you to the main compound, to the maternal suite that had been built in the medical wing of the facility. It was more common now for agents assigned to the compound to live on the grounds with their families. Wanda had gone to the house to watch over Sarah.
“We’ll get him home,” Natasha assured you. The look you gave her told her enough. You knew they wouldn’t get him home in time.
By the time Steve had arrived, James was hours old. He looked crestfallen. He had missed the birth of his child. You were asleep when he came in. He had tried his best not to wake you, but James’ cry woke you. No words passed between you two as you shared the moment.
You shook away the thoughts as you plated your eggs and toast. You found your way to the couch, watching as the main characters of the movie shared their first kiss.
“I thought when we broke up, I’d move on and that would be it. But I don’t think I ever stopped loving you,” the woman said. Your heart ached as you heard that line. You knew. You never stopped loving him. And you weren’t sure you ever would.
Sunday came too quickly for Steve’s liking. There were too few hours in the day to truly take in the time he had with Sarah and Jimmy. So many milestones he had missed out on. And for what? He was stuck in a cycle of working too much to forget the pain of losing you because he worked too much.
All too soon, he was in the parking lot of the diner. You weren’t there. You were always there on time and you would have called him if you were running late. He was on edge. He called you and it went to voicemail. Another thing that was so unlike you.
“FRIDAY, what’s going on?” Steve asked. He was grateful for Stark’s tech working on his phone. You had eventually agreed to having FRIDAY placed in your home. But that was the only place you consented to having FRIDAY. Your phone wasn’t Stark Tech. Your car had no Stark Tech.
“She left approximately forty-five minutes ago, Captain. I can run a check of local cameras,” the AI responded.
“Please. And alert the team,” Steve replied. Something wasn’t right. Bruce was the first to arrive, the priority being getting the kids to safety. Steve had hoped they would never need to use any of the plans they had to protect you and protect the kids. It was one of his worst nightmares, come to life.
“I’ll take the little ones back to the compound. The others should be here soon,” Bruce said. Steve just nodded. Bruce took Steve’s car, leaving Steve to wait on hearing from FRIDAY, or Tony. It didn’t take long for Tony to show up, followed by Clint, Thor, Scott, and Peter. Wanda, Sam, and Natasha were still in Sydney.
“FRIDAY, give me an update,” Tony said. He was in his Iron Man suit. Steve knew it must have been a sight, seeing most of the Avengers standing around the diner parking lot,
“At 11:37 this morning, her car was run off the road, approximately a half mile from the diner. No witnesses, only a camera from an empty warehouse,” the AI responded.
“Any idea who ran her off?” Steve asked, his tone strained.
“Not at this time,” the AI replied. They were able to track the movements of the car. Whoever had taken you was either an amateur or trying to lure the team into a trap. Steve was ready for either possibility as they began to plan. He would have burnt the world to the ground if it meant protecting you.
“We’ll get her back safe,” Tony said. He was taking to the air while the others followed FRIDAY’s directions to where you had been taken. Steve was on edge the entire drive as FRIDAY delivered any information she could find on where you were taken. Tony had gotten heat signatures of the building as he approached. You were definitely inside.
“What’s our clearest path?” Steve asked as he surveyed the area. He was getting you out and getting you home safe. That was a promise.
You were groggy as you came around. The last thing you remembered was your car being run off the road. Your vision was blurry as you came to. It felt like a cliche as you felt rope keeping you tied to a chair. You could tell it wasn’t tied well.
When you and Steve had gotten serious, you had begun training with Natasha. Steve had insisted on it and you had agreed. He had worried for your safety as the two of you became more public with your relationship. You knew he had wished he could hide you away like Clint had with his family. But with his responsibilities as Captain America, it was near impossible. Nat had taught you how to get out of restraints, with emphasis on when to do it. You weren’t an Avenger. You didn’t have combat training. But Natasha wanted to ensure you knew how to fight for your life when push came to shove.
“Ah, Mrs. Rogers, you’re awake,” a woman said. You said nothing. You took in her appearance. You recognized her. She worked at the compound. At one point she had been a PA for the team until Steve had her reassigned because she made him uncomfortable. Natasha had told you that tidbit.
“I’m not Mrs. Rogers anymore,” you said after a moment. You winced at the laugh she let out.
“Please. Captain Rogers still has photos of you up in his office. It’s sickening, honestly. How a man like him could be hung up on someone like you. You left him! And he still what, thinks you’re going to come back? When I’m right in front of him!” she rambled.
You knew Steve had his fair share of overly obsessed fans. Both men and women. It was another reason why the vetting process for anyone working at the compound was so thorough. While they were capable of handling themselves, people like you, like the kids, were always at risk. There was also no telling what kind of stunt any of those people could pull to try to get to their target. The Avengers had the delicate balancing act of being working heroes and celebrities at the same time.
“So you ran me off the road and brought me here for what?” you asked.
“Isn’t it obvious? Once I get you out of the way, I can be everything he needs. Everything those children need. They need a mother and father who are together. And I can be that mother,” she said. You were at a loss for words. Natasha’s words were rattling around in your brain. This was one scenario she made sure you were prepared for. Steve thought it would never be necessary. That someone that obsessed with him would never actually try to pull anything. It was one thing he refused to believe was a possibility.
“And how do you think that’s gonna go? ‘Oh Steve, I killed your ex-wife! You and I are meant to be’?” you asked, pitching your voice higher. You could almost hear Natasha scolding you in your head. Never try to piss them off. It’ll only get you killed faster. You could see the gears turning in her head. You slipped the rope as the doors burst open. It didn’t take much for Peter to take her down with webbing.
“Are you alright?” Steve asked. His eyes moved from the top of your head to your feet, scanning you for injuries. You had some cuts on your face that were still slightly bleeding.
“Yeah. A little bit of a headache, but, other than that I feel fine,” you said. You winced as you put pressure on your ankle. Steve frowned at that. You yelped as he scooped you up. It was the most physical contact you had had with him since the divorce.
“Is this really necessary?” you asked, your voice half a whine. You felt your heart stutter when you heard Steve laugh.
“Can’t have you falling,” he replied. It wasn’t a long drive back to the compound. You knew that the police would be there soon enough to get your statement, but it could wait. The drive was quiet. Dr. Cho was expecting you and brought you in for scans immediately before making sure you got set up in a room in the medical building of the compound.
“You don’t have to stay,” you said to Steve.
“Do you want me to go?” he asked.
“No, no. Just...don’t want to cut into your time with the kids,” you said. Steve sat down in the chair beside your bed.
“Bruce said they’re both down for the count right now,” he told you.
“Oh,” you replied. Silence fell between you. It wasn’t awkward like it once was. Time had brought new perspective to you both. You decided to take a chance in the moment, reaching your hand toward his. You were surprised when he closed his around yours, no words spoken as he moved his thumb in a circle on the back of your hand.
“I...I thought the worst today. You’re never late. Every thought I had was about getting you back safe. I was never so relieved in my life, then to realize we weren’t dealing with some master criminal or HYDRA. I thought back to every moment I had to tell you I still love you and never took that chance,” Steve said. You felt your heart rate speed up at his confession and tears sting your eyes.
“I gotta say. When she ran me off the road, the last thing I thought about before I passed out were the kids, and you. How much I love you, how much I wish things had been different,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper as your voice cracked.
“I wish. I wish I had fought harder when you gave me those papers. Made the changes you were asking me to. I’ve come to realize, how wrong I was to focus so much on my job that I forgot my duty to my family should come first. To you. To the kids,” Steve said. You lost track of how long the two of you sat in a comfortable silence before the door opened, startling you both.
“Sorry to interrupt. The results are in. You need to stay off that ankle for a few weeks and you have a mild concussion. You don’t need to stay overnight, but I’d prefer it if you stayed with someone,” Helen said as she looked at the papers in front of her.
“Sounds alright to me,” you said, looking at Steve.
One Year Later
The early summer air carried the scent of fresh flowers. The grounds of the Starks’ cabin were decorated for a summer wedding. Much like your first wedding, your second wasn’t some grand affair befitting of a Hollywood star or a high society socialite. No. It was close friends and family, gathered together to celebrate a new beginning of a story that had never ended, not really.
“You look incredible. He’s going to cry,” Natasha said as she and Wanda finished helping you into your dress. You felt butterflies as you headed down the stairs. It wasn’t long before you were making your way toward him. You took in the sight of him standing there, a light suit on to match the summer weather, Bucky by his side, along with Sam. Tony stood waiting to preside over the ceremony. As you drew closer, you saw the glint of tears in Steve’s eyes.
“Ready?” he asked quietly as you met him at the end of the aisle.
“Absolutely,” you replied. As the two of you said your vows, the sun shone on you both as two became one once more.