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"Hey Tony you'll never guess what-" Peter began energetically as he walked into the pent house of Stark Tower. "You're not Tony." Peter stated.
"Hi, I'm Scott Lang." Scott introduced as he turned around to greet Peter. He stuck out his hand for Peter to shake, which he did.
"Holy shit, you're Ant-Man, you're so cool. I'm a huge fan." Peter rambled, whilst still shaking Scott's hand. "I'm Peter by the way, I'm Spider-Man." He added awkwardly.
"Dude, you're so awesome." Scott exclaimed. "We should probably stop shaking hands though." He added with a laugh. Peter chuckled awkwardly.
"So what powers do you actually have?" Scott asked as the two took a seat. Peter was relieved he made no comment about his age, as basically every other Avenger did. Nat and Bucky were the only ones that didn't, with Bucky remarking to Steve that he was a hypocrite for saying Peter shouldn't be Spider-Man at such a young age when he was getting into fights at a younger age. Very quickly, after seeing his full ability they accepted the youngest Avenger into the team and became very protective of him- they were like one giant superhero family.
"Well, I have webbing which I made myself so I can swing around the city and I have my Spidey sense, which is like a sixth sense. I can tell when there is danger before it happens so I can easily block and dodge attacks. I have super strength too and heightened senses, which is both useful and annoying. And awkward at time with some of the conversations I've overheard. And sometimes everything is too loud and too bright, it's hard to cope with." Peter explained in his usual rambling fashion.
"So can you talk to Spiders?" Scott asked casually. Peter stared at him in confusion, looking at him as if he'd grown another head- or turned into an actual ant.
Scott laughed at Peter's reaction; "I'm only asking because I can communicate with ants, and some other insects." Stated Scott, which gave Peter a brilliant idea.
"Scott, would you like to help me prank the Avengers?" Peter asked sweetly, but with a devilish grin on his face.
"What do you have in mind?" Scott asked, clearly invested in Peter's plan already.
"What if we convince the Avengers I can talk to Spiders as part of my powers? I can create a bunch of fake Spiders that look real and place them around the tower then talk to them as if they're real. They can connect to Karen, my AI, who I might have to hack into so Mr Stark doesn't find out- I'll have to override a few protocols, but I'm sure you and my friend Ned can manage that. " Peter exclaimed with glee. "Oh, I should mention that most of them, despite being super-heroes and having fought literal aliens, are scared of Spiders."
"This is brilliant Pete!" Scott laughed.
"What's so funny?" Tony questioned as he walked into the penthouse living room.
"Oh nothing, I was just getting to know Scott." Peter shrugged off.
"We're officially bug bros." Scott added with a grin, putting an arm around Peter.
"Underoos, what did I tell you about secret identities?" Tony looked pointedly at Peter and sounded as if he was scolding a child. Peter's smile dropped, 'fuck I wasn't supposed to tell him I was Spider-Man' Peter thought.
"I'm just kidding Underoos, we were going to tell him anyway." Peter let out a huge sigh of relief.
"So bug bros huh? You better not steal my kid now Lang." Tony joked as he left to go to his lab, gesturing for Peter to follow him.
"I'll talk to you later Scott." Peter called over his shoulder.
"Really, he's Scott after knowing him for twenty minutes and it took you a year to stop calling me Mr Stark?" Teased Tony.
"What can I say, Ant-Man is a way cooler superhero that you." Peter sassed. Tony let out a dramatic gasp, his hand placed over his arc reactor.
"My own kid, betraying me." He sighed dramatically as they entered the lab to work on new web shooters.
The next day at school Peter filled Ned in on their plan. He said how he met Scott and that they were going to prank the Avengers into thinking he could speak to spiders. He told Ned how he and Scott would override some of Karen's protocols so FRIDAY nor Tony would be informed of the plan or what Karen was being used for as FRIDAY would often be informed on Peter's activities; he would work on making the spiders. Ned was beyond excited about the plan. Within a week the plan was able to be set in motion.
Everyone was sat around the dinner table when one of the Spiders lowered itself down from the ceiling using a new web fluid that Peter had created, it was far finer to look like a real Spider-Web, but still as strong so it didn't break.
"Ew what the fuck someone get rid of that spider!" Bucky, The former Winter Soldier and master assassin, squealed when he saw the spider drop down and crawl on the table. Everyone apart from Nat, Scott and Peter moved away from the table, with Steve going over to Bucky and Tony, Bruce and Clint all being afraid of Spiders.
"Come on guys it's just a spider, you're meant to be Earth's mightiest heroes." Natasha taunted, looking indifferent but Peter could tell she was amused.
"Where is it? I'll get rid." Peter offered kindly.
"There! It just went under Scott's plate!" Clint exclaimed from where he was stood on the kitchen counter.
"There he is!" Peter exclaimed as he located the spider.
"Han, come here please." Peter said to the spider. The team look at him as if he had gone insane whilst Scott was doing his best to keep it together- why was he talking to a freaking spider?! The spider seemingly obeyed and crawled onto Peter's outstretched hand. "Now what have I told you guys about scaring the team, you're not to go near them unless it's me or Scott because you know they're scared." Peter chastised as if talking to a child. The spider seemed like it responded in the way it moved.
"That's what I though." Peter chuckled before taking the spider out of the room to 'get rid of it' when he simply instructed Karen for it to go into his room. When he go back no-one had moved and everyone was staring at Peter, bar Scott, in a state of utter bewilderment.
"Why are you all staring at me?" Peter asked as he walked back in and took his seat.
"What the fuck Underoos?" Is all Tony responded with, something everyone agreed with, no-one even said 'language' to take the mick out of Steve.
"Oh that was Han the Spider- I named him after the Star Wars character." Peter shrugged as if that was completely normal and something everyone did.
"Yeah but you were talking to it?" Bucky pointed out, half a statement and half a question.
"Oh, did I not tell you guys I can talk to spiders?" Peter smiled sweetly. The room erupted into chaos, questions being fired at Peter as well as general confusion as to how that was even possible, just when they think their spider-kid couldn't get any stranger.
"Wait so how did this even happen?" Bruce asked. "How is this even scientifically possible?" He added.
"Well the spider bite altered my DNA, as you know, so I'm guessing that this altered DNA allows me to communicate with them as I'm essentially part spider. Like how Scott can talk to ants, but without the need for any tech, it's just a natural connection." Peter explained with ease. He had planned an answer for pretty much every question he could possible be asked.
"I guess that does make sense." Bruce commented.
"How did you even find out?" This time Clint was asking.
"I was studying at the school library the other week and a spider crawled across the table and I just said for it to go away as it surprised me, and it instantly got off the table. I thought it was odd so I tested it out by talking to other spiders and they all responded to me." Peter couldn't believe just how well this had gone, he'd expected some questioning of his reason for this 'new ability', but they just accepted it, probably because they all see Peter as too pure and innocent for this to be anything other than the truth.
"Anyway lets eat. I'm starving!" Peter exclaimed as his stomach rumbled loudly.
"Holy shit Peter, I can't believe how well that worked!" Scott whispered excitedly. All the other Avengers were elsewhere in the Tower and Scott and Peter had gone into Peter's en-suite so they would not be heard by anyone and no AI was monitoring, so he didn't have to whisper- but just in case.
"And the fact that even Bruce and Tony, two geniuses, believe it makes it so much better." Peter laughed. The two discussed more uses for the Spiders before Scott left his room.
"Peter, Natasha is requesting entry into your room." Karen informed, Peter told Karen to let her in as he sat at his desk.
"That was a pretty neat trick with the spiders Peter." Natasha said with a smirk, 'well shit maybe not everyone believed us' Peter thought, he was one of few that could always read Nat's expressions.
"Thanks Nat." Peter said, cursing the slight stammer in his voice.
"I'm guessing Scott is in on the joke too." She said- of course she knew Scott was in on it, no-one could get anything past her as Scott was the only one not to react to the revelation. They did explain that Peter had told Scott as he had a similar ability, but obviously Nat saw through the lie.
"And my friend Ned, I needed them both to hack Karen to ensure that she didn't pass the plans or programming for the spiders over to FRIDAY so Tony wouldn't find out." Peter explained, sounding proud of his plan.
"Well I'm not going to tell anyone, I'm impressed Pete, you almost fooled me- almost." Nat said before leaving the room. This made Peter feel even better about the plan, despite the fact one Avenger has already seen through it, Nat said she was impressed- and Peter loved making his Mama Spider proud. Anytime there was a 'spider' Peter would be the one to get rid of it, ordering it to go onto his hand and he would seemingly have a full conversation with the Spider, aptly named after another Star Wars character.
On other occasions he was caught just having a full conversation with one of his spiders, which would never not be weird to everyone- and slightly scary as they were still spiders. Sometimes it would take a few minutes for one of them to realise that Peter wasn't fully insane and he had a spider with him. They kind of got used to Peter's occasional interactions with the spiders, but it was still so bizarre to see.
"Luke, Leia can you bring me my Doritos please?" Peter asked his spiders, he didn't want to get up and get them himself and he didn't have his web-shooters with him to web them. The two spiders crawled off Peter's shoulder and into the kitchen and moments later were crawling back with the half empty pack of Doritos on their back, like an ant carrying food.
"Thanks guys." Peter said appreciatively, to which the spiders gave a response that only Peter seemed to understand.
"What, have you trained them now or something?" Clint asked incredulously, although quite impressed and amused.
"Well kinda, I figured if they listen to everything I say they could help me with stuff. They can carry light items as well as small pieces, they sometimes help me when I'm designing or making something so I don't have to keep moving." Peter shrugged.
"You never cease to amaze me kid." Tony beamed like a proud dad.
The only people that hated the occasional appearances from the spiders were Bucky and Bruce, who no matter how many times Peter assured that they were harmless, they were still terrified- even Tony hated going near them, but if it made his kid happy then that was fine. Clint did warn to the spiders, he still found them creepy but if they weren't too near him then they were okay. Bucky and Bruce though, hated them and didn't want them near them. Peter did fell a bit guilty, but at the same time it was very funny to see their reaction, especially when he deliberately placed them in their room.
Scott also helped Peter to keep up the ruse. Occasionally, he would talk to the spiders too, which would respond to him in a similar way as when interacting with Peter. And no-one suspected anything. Nat was amazed that no-one had figured it out yet.
It wasn't until three months after the prank begun that Scott, Peter and Ned were found out. Tony entered Peter's room as he had accidently take with him some schematics that Tony needed. When entering he accidently trod on one of the spiders, he felt guilty for a second before he noticed that the spider wasn't real, it was a robot.
"The little shit." Tony exclaimed, although he felt incredibly proud that Peter managed to, not only prank all the Avengers, but make something so realistic. His kid really is a genius. However, that didn't mean that Tony wasn't going to get revenge. He left Peter's room, work completely forgotten, and called an emergency Avengers meeting.
"So you know how sweet, innocent Peter has been talking to spiders for the last three months and making us have to put up with them even though we hate spiders? It turns out the spiders aren't even real!" Tony announced to the team.
"Are you shitting me?!" Bucky screeched, his voice unnaturally high.
"You mean we've had to put up with those things for months and Peter was pranking us?" Bruce added.
"Yep, what do you say to a little bit of revenge? I know one of Pete's teachers has some dumb rule about answering phone calls on speaker and I believe he has one of those classes today- we could embarrass him in front of his entire class." Suggested Tony gleefully.
"Actually Boss, Peter is in the building, he's currently on a field trip with the class. Tony's smile widened at that news.
"Even better! Avengers, Assemble." Tony commanded to which Steve complained that was his line. They all filed into the elevator, Scott avoiding mentioning his, or Ned's, involvement- although he's pretty sure Peter will drop them both in it pretty quickly.
"FRIDAY, take us to whatever floor Peter is on." Tony commanded when the elevator door closed. FRIDAY obliged.
The tour for Peter had been boring, he'd see all of this before, and of course, he lived at the Tower- he was just thankful that none of the Avengers had found out about the trip- Pepper had made a promise to Peter to not tell Tony about the trip, although she did say that because she was away that day, if Tony was to find out she couldn't stop him from doing anything. Although, Tony would be busy in his lab, so Peter figured he would be safe from embarrassment from his super-family, and oh how wrong he was.
Peter and his class mates were in one of the lower labs when the elevator opened revealing to the stunned teenagers, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes and Scott Lang.
"Hi everyone, how's the tour going?" Tony asked. They tried to answer but no-one could seem to from words, opening and closing their mouth like a goldfish. Peter darted to the back of the group in the hopes that no-one would see him.
"Not so fast Underoos, we can see you back there." Tony called out. Peter groaned before making his way to the front of the class, much to their shock and confusion- how the hell did Tony know Peter, why was he using a nickname for him, were the Avengers there for Peter- what was going on?!?! Tony grinned at Peter who knew he was about to die of embarrassment. Before Tony could say anything else Bucky spoke up.
"What the fuck Pete, you made us all think you could speak to spiders and they were fake all along?" Bucky practically yelled.
"I don't know what your talking about." Peter chuckled nervously, he really was a bad liar. Peter's class grew even more confused, why was he pranking the Avengers and why the hell would they think he could speak to spiders anyway? Nothing made sense.
"Yeah you can drop the act now we know the spiders are fake." Clint stated.
"Okay but it wasn't just me, Scott helped me, and Ned did too. Oh and Nat knew from the start and didn't tell anyone." Peter retorted, he was dragging them down with him with no remorse.
"You traitor." Scott yelled with fake hurt, although Peter could tell he wasn't offended and simply rolled his eyes. "It was Peter's idea though." Scott added, sticking his tongue out childishly, Peter send him a betrayed look as if he didn't just expose Scott as a co-conspirator just seconds ago.
"So go on the Pete, explain to the class what you did." Tony smirked, he was enjoying the way too much.
"Yeah I want an explanation I had to put up with those things for three months. THREE MONTHS!!!" Bruce said exasperatedly.
"Well I got the idea when Scott said he could speak to ants so I thought it would be a fun prank to do because of how many of you are scared of spiders and to see if you would believe me, which by they way Tony, Bruce you two should have known better- you're both geniuses and thought I could speak to spiders. Anyway, I made the robot spiders and connected them to Karen so they would respond to what I said. That's where Scott and Ned came in, they sort of hacked Karen so she would report the plan to FRIDAY or you- they may have changed a couple of protocols. And then Scott helped me keep up the act." Peter said rather proudly, his plan was great even if they'd been caught.
"I have to say kid, I am impressed." Tony admitted. "Oh and Ned, stop hacking Karen, this is the second time." Tony chastised light-heartedly.
"You're clearly good with tech, how about a job here once you're out of school?" Tony offered to Ned, who looked ready to pass out.
"That would be amazing." Ned breathed out.
"Peter, you're grounded- no lab time or patrolling for a week." Tony grinned.
"Nooo Tony, that's not fair." Peter whined giving Tony his best puppy dog eyes, knowing that would make Tony relent.
"Okay fine, you can have one." Tony relented, his kid is just too cute.
"Patrolling." Peter said after a moment.
"Okay. FRIDAY, if Peter sets foot in my lab in the next week initiate protocol 'Spider-mint'." Tony instructed. Peter winced at the memory. Since the bite he's hated any form of mint, so if Peter goes somewhere he shouldn't FRIDAY will spray the room with peppermint spray. That was one spider trait Peter actually had.
"I hate you." Peter pouted as he folded his arms.
"Love you too kid." Tony replied.
"So Peter is definitely Spider-Man." One of Peter's classmates spoke up. Fuck, Tony forgot about the class being there when he mentioned patrolling and 'spidermint'. No-one said anything for a beat.
"What gave you that idea?" Tony asked calmly, using his public persona to perfection.
"Well that makes sense to why you all thought he could speak to Spiders and you said about him not 'patrolling' which is what Spider-Man does. Also, you said about 'protocol spider mint'; the spider part is a dead give away and spiders hate mint." MJ stated as if it was totally obvious. Everyone, especially Nat, looked impressed- this must be MJ that Peter kept talking about. "And the fact the Peter no longer has asthma, needs glasses and has abs not for days, but for weeks." Cindy added. What both failed to mention was that MJ, Cindy and Betty were in a group chat gathering evidence of Peter being Spider-Man, he really wasn't subtle about it and he and Ned sometimes spoke a bit too loud- it's a miracle no-one else had figured it out.
"Okay yes I am Spider-Man, but please don't tell anyone." Peter rushed out, practically pleading when he said the last part- he wasn't ready for the world to know who he was yet.
"Holy shit! You're actually Spider-Man." Flash spoke up for the first time since this mess of a situation happened.
"Yep, you've simultaneously hate me and love me." Peter stated plainly, it was kind of ironic how Flash hated Peter but was Spider-Man's biggest fan.
"How many time do I have to tell you about keeping you secret identity, you know, a secret?" Tony groaned in frustration, he swears Peter is going to turn him grey.
"Says you, Mr 'I am Iron Man.'" Peter retorted. "He's got you there Tony." Clint joked earning a slap on the arm from Tony.
"Well you're all going to have to sign NDAs, if you break them you'll never see life outside of a prison cell- sound good?" Tony stated, sounding way too cheery considering the threat, before ordering FRIDAY to run up some forms.
"We'll go get them and Pete will answer any questions you have." Tony grinned before everyone left, leaving Peter to a certain doom...
"How did you get your powers?" Cindy asked; 'okay not a bad question to start with' Peter thought.
"You know that trip we took to Oscorp and I was ill for the rest of the week, well I got bit by a radioactive spider and that caused me to have powers, it altered my DNA to make me more like a spider." Peter explained. Cindy gave Peter a look that indicated that he didn't believe that explanation, it just seemed too odd.
"FIRDAY back me up here." Peter sighed, to which FRIDAY replied that Peter was indeed telling the truth.
"How come you're so close to Tony Stark? Are you his secret son?" Betty asked enthusiastically, this was something they all wanted to know.
"Tony figured out I was Spider-Man and recruited me to help him out. After that we got really close, he offered me an internship because he thought I was like a genius or something- and he basically became my dad." Shrugged Peter, answering in as little detail as he could get away with. "That's how I got to know the rest of the team, they became like my family. I only met Scott three months ago and we came up with the fake spider plan that day." Peter added, smiling at the memory- it really was a great idea.
"Who's the strongest?" Abe questioned.
"Physically, Thor and Hulk are the strongest- but I'm stronger than Captain America! I can beat most in hand to hand combat when we train because I'm quicker and stronger- although Nat has never been beaten" Peter proclaimed proudly.
"So why did you never fight back- you could've easily beat me and you never did." Flash spoke up, a look of guilt on his face.
"Because I'm better than that, and I knew I could take it. I have super strength and will heal within a couple of hours so it's better that you're targeting me and not someone who can't handle it. So I suggest you stop, not because you know who I am, but because you know it's wrong what you are doing, and you know if my family find out your body will never be found. And if you bully anyone else I won't hold back anymore." Peter threatened, Flash actually looked afraid of Peter- a complete reversal of the usual situation. Peter's class look to Peter in awe as he finally stood up to Flash, the person who had bullied him for years.
"I know he could crush us all and he just threatened Flash, but he's the most precious, smol bean doing that so no-one else would get hurt." Cindy said, immediately blushing as she realised she'd said that out loud. Peter groaned in further embarrassment when some of his other classmates agreed.
"I'm not a precious bean." Peter grumbled, even though he 100% is.
"Precious bean." Betty emphasized.
"You're very correct, he is a precious bean." Tony teased as he walked back in carrying a bunch of NDAs, having no clue on the context.
"Everyone sign these and then we'll call it a day, I think I've embarrassed him enough for one day, and it's kind of my fault you folks found out he's Spider-Man" Tony said as he handed out the forms to be signed.
"Does that mean I'm un-banned from the lab?" Peter asked sweetly.
"No, you're still not forgiven for the spiders." Tony deadpanned, although Peter was pretty sure he could convince him by the end of the day, he was way too soft when it comes to Peter. Everyone still had so many questions for Peter, but they supposed they could always ask at Academic Decathlon practice, they're not allowed to tell anyone about Peter, but that didn't mean that they couldn't talk to Peter himself about it.
"Right well this has been fun, but Underoos here has some superheroes to apologise to." Tony put his arm around Peter as they walked to the elevator.
"I'll apologise but I won't mean it." Peter snarked to Tony with a smirk, Tony knew full well he was telling the truth- Peter would do the same prank again without hesitation. "And I stand by what I said, you and Bruce are literal geniuses, you should never have believed that I could speak to spiders." Peter mocked.
"Pete, you're like the most innocent person on the planet- how could we not trust everything you say?" When the elevator doors opened up to the penthouse, Peter was greeted by the Avengers, some looking annoyed, mainly Bucky and Bruce because of their fear of spiders, whilst most were amused and impressed that they managed to keep up the prank for three months and fool the worlds mightiest heroes- other than Natasha, but she's superior to the rest. And Peter was right, by the end of the night Peter was working in the lab with Tony.
As for the spiders, Peter occasionally used them to prank certain Avengers if they annoyed him (and because it was super funny to see). He also modified them further so he could use them in battle- they were programed to have different abilities, some had webbing that would explode out and web up a person, some would electrocute to temporarily stun and some could be used for reconnaissance. All of this was Peter's design and effort- Peter really was a genius, however sometime he used this for mischief rather that anything useful...