Chapter Text
'You are my dad, you're my dad boogie woogie woogie' rang out in the middle of class, startling those in the class. 'Oh fuck, I forgot to silence my phone' Peter cursed inwardly. Everyone in class snickered at the ringtone, although were confused as to why Peter would have that as anyone's ringtone.
"Mr Parker is that your phone?" The teacher asked, even though she knew the answer.
"Yeah sorry, I'll switch it off now," Peter stammered out as he fumbled to get his phone from his bag and switch it off.
"You know the rules Peter, answer it on speaker." The teacher commanded. Peter sighed heavily, 'this is going to be fun' Peter thought sarcastically. Peter answered the call, but couldn't even say anything when the person on the other end spoke instantly.
"Peter Benjamin Parker, care to explain to me why my multi-million dollar Iron Man suit is filled with glitter, that's now all over my lab?!" Tony exclaimed. The class gasped before falling into a stunned silence. That was THE Tony Stark phoning Peter in the middle of the day.
"I have no clue what you're talking about." Peter said casually, sounding completely innocent. Tony could see the smirk on his face from his lab.
"So if I ask FRIDAY she'll tell me you had nothing to do with it?" Tony questioned.
"Sure, go ahead." Peter sassed, no-one could quite believe what they were hearing- Peter Parker, Queens resident nerd, the most innocent person alive, sassed Tony Stark.
"Boss, I am unable to give confirmation for who put the glitter in the suit." FRIDAY informed robotically.
"You monitor this lab all the time how do you not know?" Tony asked, he could hear Peter laughing down the phone, this meant war.
"I'm afraid Peter managed to override my system using 'Baby knows best' protocol you but in place along side the 'training wheels' protocol." FRIDAY informed.
"Goddammit kid, you used my own AI against me." Tony sighed, although he did sound proud that Peter managed to- he really was a genius.
"She prefers me." Peter said with a grin.
"Do you have any idea how much glitter is all over my lab right now and in my suit. It's even got into the thrusters. I'm going to be hours, days, getting rid of all this. And fixing the thrusters" Tony whined childishly.
"Oh well I'm sure you'll think of something." Peter replied nonchalantly. "Anyway it served you right for banning Star Wars from the tower. You can't have your toys if I can't have Star Wars." Peter stated. Okay, what the hell was happening- how was this a real conversation that was happening? Had his class slipped into another universe, or were they all hallucinating, yeah they know Peter said he had an internship, but most didn't even believe it was real. And now Peter is really close with Tony Stark??? Nothing made sense anymore.
"Peter my Iron Man suits are not toys." Tony retorted, sounding like an exasperated father, which he is let's be honest.
"Hmm I don't know about that- I've seen some of the test videos. I love your dancing to Jingle Bells by the way." Peter laughed, he could sense Tony's embarrassment from over the phone.
"FRIDAY I swear to God I'll ship you off to a community college if you showed Peter the training videos." Tony snapped at his AI, more embarrassed than annoyed.
"It wasn't FRIDAY, it was Pepper that showed me, after you nearly set fire to the kitchen." Peter informed with a chuckle.
Tony gasped dramatically, "I've been betrayed, by the love of my life- I made her the CEO of my company and this is how she repays me."
"Are you sure she isn't CEO of 12% of your company?" Peter asked rhetorically.
"I regret introducing you two." Grumbled Tony.
"No you don't, you love us really." Peter replied.
"That I do kid, that I do. Not that it matters because your grounded and no lab time for a week." Tony said, this time he was the one laughing.
"Nooo, but Dad." Peter whined, before being cut off by Tony. Did his class hear that right? Did Peter just call Tony dad. Are they related? Is Peter secretly his son? This raised so many more questions than they already had, which was a pretty extensive list to begin with.
"But nothing Underoos. Well I've got a fun afternoon of cleaning up glitter." And with that Tony hung up the phone. Peter's head hit the desk with a *thunk* yeah he may have filled one of Tony's suits with glitter and made a huge mess of his lab and potentially damaged the thrusters, but no lab time for a week was like torture.
"Yo what the fuck Parker!" Flash called out from across the classroom. The teacher didn't even bother to tell Flash off for his language because yeah, what the fuck. Peter groaned, having momentarily forgotten he was in front of his class. This is going to be a fun conversation...