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Chapter Text

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P3X595

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Jack stared dumbstruck at the sight before him. His 2IC Captain Carter was standing on a picnic table wearing… not a lot.

There was a pile of clothes beside the table and to his dismay he noticed her sidearm was laying on the top of it. She was wearing her pants and a bra… that was it.

Unfortunately, she had managed to gather quite a crowd too… he supposed this was unsurprising. He would never tell it to her face, but she was one stunning woman. She turned heads wherever they went.

"Do something Jack!" He turned to a stunned looking Daniel who seemed to be frozen in place.

"Captain Carter," he called out.

They were only a few metres from her, and she spun around on the table in a rather graceful manner considering how wasted she looked. She had a sloppy grin on her face, and she was fingering the fly of her pants. "Don't do it," he told her firmly. “That’s an order.” He took a step forward, but her grin just widened.

"Hey boys, this is my Colonel." She put emphasis on the 'my' and giggled. She was pointing Jack, teetering a little as if her arm were heavy enough to throw her off balance. Jack took another cautious step forward, now within reach of his intoxicated subordinate.

"Come down from there Carter," he tried to keep his voice even, despite the frustration rising within him. He reached out and to his surprise she grabbed his arm in a firm grip and using it for balance jumped neatly from the table. He looked down at her hand, she was still clutching his forearm. He looked back up at her face, doing his best not to let his eyes linger on her chest.

"Sirrrrr," she slurred pushing her face so close that he could feel her breath.

The alcohol they had consumed over dinner didn't appear that potent… he had assured his team members one drink wouldn't hurt but to stick to only one. Either he was way off, and one drink was actually too much… or Carter had disobeyed him. He was leaning towards the former because he just couldn't imagine her doing something so stupid. Either way, he would be putting forth a new rule – no drinking anything on another planet. Water from their canteens only.

He stumbled backwards as she suddenly threw her weight at his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "So good to see you Sir," she whispered her face tilted upwards so that he could see her cheeky little grin, her lips so close he would barely have to move to capture them with his own.

But no, she was his 2IC, he was in charge of her safety – he would not become one of those dirty old men taking advantage of her inebriated state, like the men who were still standing there, watching to see how things played out. Perhaps wondering if they would still have a chance with her.

Over my dead body. He thought, wishing he could hand Carter to Daniel and beat them senseless for leering at her like that.

"Carter…" He warned trying to extricate himself from her arms. "We are heading back to camp now."

She cheerfully linked arms with him, and he sighed with relief, at least getting her to safety would be easy.

But when he looked down at her and found his eyes locked on the tops of her breasts… he realised the alcohol had perhaps affected his self-control a little and before he could stop himself, his eyes had travelled down a little further to her toned stomach the skin milky white, and he imagined it would be soft and smooth to touch. His fingers twitched at his side. No touching. He reminded himself and finally dragged his eyes back up to her face.

"Daniel, get her clothes!" He managed to choke out and managed to extricate himself from her arms long enough to remove his jacket. He needed to cover her up. Right now.

It was like dressing a toddler, she was becoming slow and lethargic, and she kept missing the arm holes. He tried to hold her steady, but it was tricky given he didn’t want to touch any of her exposed skin if he could help it.

"Soo tired," she muttered snuggling into his side once he had finally managed to zip the jacket up, he may have zipped it higher than necessary.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as they made their wobbly way back to their tents. Teal'c and Daniel brought up the rear and were thankfully silent. "Sir," he rolled his eyes at the husky way she spoke; he was pretty sure he knew what was coming.

"Yes Carter…"

"You are verrrrry sexy." She slurred.

He refused to turn back and see if Daniel and Teal'c had heard her and simply let himself smile at her words. There was nothing quite like receiving a compliment from a pretty young thing like Captain Samantha Carter.

"Why thank you Carter," he whispered.

She stopped walking and he looked down at her suddenly worried he had crossed a line by encouraging her behaviour.

"Sir," she looked up at him wide eyed. "I think I'm going to pass out." Before he had a chance to react, she collapsed onto the ground beside him.

He muttered obscenities and crouched next to her checking her pulse. There was a steady thrum against his fingers.

"She's fine," he handed his firearm up to Daniel and slid his hands beneath the captain trying to ignore the parts of her body he felt as he tried to get a good hold on her. He closed his eyes and willed his self-control to stick around and swung her up into his arms. He considered tossing her over his shoulder but instead cradled the unconscious woman against his chest.

"Sam is going to be so embarrassed tomorrow." Daniel commented, falling into step beside him.

He looked down at said woman and felt the smile drop off his face. Something in the general vicinity of his heart lurched. Not good. She was too pretty, too smart and too young for an old man like him – but something more than lust was definitely stirring inside him, and this was very concerning.

“Are you okay Jack?" Daniel asked, and he realised they had reached the camp and he was just standing there staring blankly ahead.

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Jack left Teal'c on watch since he was the only one who had nothing to drink at dinner and tucked Carter into her sleeping bag. She woke briefly muttering something about dancing and then fell into a deep sleep.

Tomorrow was certainly going to be interesting… for her sake he hoped she didn't remember very much.

TBC.

Chapter Text

Sam woke stuck to her sleeping bag in her own sweat. After wrestling the sleeping bag for what felt like hours but could only have been a mere minute or so she realized something else. Her head was pounding, and her stomach was churning in an ominous way.

She staggered out of the tent and all but ran to the treeline. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Teal'c sitting on a log beside their fire and then she was on her hands and knees puking her guts up.

"Captain Carter?" She ignored Teal'c and hoped he would just go away. She remained on her hands and knees spitting in an incredibly unattractive and very un-Samantha like way onto the soft pine needles in front of her. She closed her eyes tightly and wished her stomach would just… no such luck. She threw up again, this time stomach bile that burned the whole way up and left a revolting taste in her mouth.

She chanced a look behind her and noticed Teal'c was gone. She let out a sigh of relief. She didn't want anyone seeing her in this state. She needed to get to the stream and clean herself up before the Colonel and Daniel woke. She hoped that Teal'c would keep what he saw to himself. She rose on wobbly legs and stumbled her way to the stream thanking her lucky stars it was only a few feet away.

They hadn't tested the water, so she wasn't able to drink it. She just knelt on the edge and splashed cold water onto her face. She would have to rinse her mouth out back at camp. She flopped backwards into a sitting position and stared up at the tree canopy. Before heading back, she should probably figure out how the hell she got into this situation anyway.

She ran a shaky hand through her hair trying to remember what had happened the night before. Footsteps broke her concentration though and to her utter embarrassment she turned to see the Colonel. He was carrying something in his arms and had a smirk on his face. Damn him. He obviously knew something she didn't.

"Good morning Captain Carter," his voice grated on her already frayed nerves and if he wasn't her CO she would have ignored him completely.

"Good morning Sir," she managed to croak out and turned to face the stream. He came over and plonked himself next to her.

"Got you some things you might need…" She raised bleary eyes to his and then looked down at what he had in his lap. A bottle of water, sunglasses and… painkillers. This all meant only one thing she could think of. She wasn't sick she was hungover.

She felt a flush of embarrassment rise to her cheeks. Oh this was not good.

"Thank you, Sir." She took the bottle he held out and took a swig of water. It felt amazing against her aching throat. She replaced the cap and took the next item from him, sunglasses. She put them on and sighed with relief. She hadn't even realized how much the glaring sun had been making her head throb.

"I'm sure you want these most." He wiggled the packet of painkillers in front of her face, making her dizzy.

"Yes," she made to take them, but he pulled them out of her reach and raised his eyebrows. "Sir" she added with an internal sigh.

"Better," he let out a chuckle as she snatched the painkillers from him. She popped two into her hand and dry swallowed them.

"What happened?" She asked, pleased her voice didn't sound as bad as it had before the water.

"You don't remember?" He looked amused. Far too amused for her liking.

But as if his smile had triggered something in her – memories suddenly began flooding back. She placed a hand on the ground between herself and the Colonel to steady the sudden wave of nausea that came with the memories.

She remembered drinking a purple beverage that the Colonel had assured would be alright. Just one he had told them. Then… dinner… she remembered eating dinner.

"Oh no…" Her memories were vague, but she definitely remembered standing on a table in not much and then the Colonel, Daniel and Teal'c coming to 'rescue' her. She looked down and discovered she was still wearing the Colonel's jacket. Oh god she had been all over him… and she had called him sexy… "Oh no," she repeated. She looked up and the Colonel opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off. She needed to apologise. "I am so sorry Sir… I don't understand what happened…" He leant forward and placed a finger to her lips. She tried to ignore the tingle she felt at the contact and how cold her lips felt when he took his finger away.

"It's okay Carter, it happens. Apparently, you were more affected by the drink than the rest of us." He gave her a reassuring smile and she found herself smiling back. He was being rather nice though and it did make her a little suspicious.

"I'm not going to live this one down, am I?" She asked. He gave her a cheeky grin and she sighed aloud. That would be a no.

The End.