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"I’m afraid Mister Zhongli is only available for business inquiries", the ferry lady said, and after reciting those words she returned inside the Parlor, closing the door on his nose.
Having no one to bury at the moment, Ajax had no choice but to wait. He sat on the stone bench, facing the railing as he looked down. Kids were feeding bread crumbs to the ducks in the river, screaming in joy. Something was screaming inside him as well - but in confusion and hurt.
He had no idea what he did wrong. A few days before, he was celebrating his first anniversary with Zhongli, and everything up to that moment had been perfect. Although solid and established, their relationship still felt sort of new and weird, both of them busy with their jobs and conducting such different lives. But their affection was strong, and so was the physical attraction, so they barely had any issue, fighting ever so rarely.
Until he had given him the present. Or, at least, the mere formality - the real deal was yet to come. But he needed preparation for that, and the first step was leaving the restaurant. So he stood up, leaving Zhongli to enjoy the gift while he marched towards the hall to pay for their meal. He had booked their seat months in advance, choosing the most expensive and prestigious place in Liyue, demanding to have the table closest to the terrace to see the stars reflected on the sea of the harbor. He knew traditional cuisine was the key to his heart, the best way to let him taste the old flavors of the past he loved so deeply, and what was better than the finest dishes he could afford to celebrate the occasion? He had put so much planning into it, to make the dinner unforgettable and special.
But when he had come back, there was no trace of Zhongli. He had left, almost vanishing into thin air. And from that moment, he had been avoiding him like the plague.
Ajax was lost and mortified. His hand instinctively reached inside his pocket to feel the small velvet box. To think that he had schemed to take him on a night stroll on the wharf, only to propose under the pale light of the moon… He wondered what mistake he had made to instill so much anger into him.
Hours flew by. Ajax wandered aimlessly around Liyue Harbor, seeing morsels of him wherever he went.
People eating happily at the food stalls by the sea reminded him of Zhongli’s distaste for seafood. He had made him try his specialty once, a delicious and creamy soup with calla lilies and a faint aftertaste of mint, and the man ate it merely out of love (although, from his face, it was obvious he loathed it to the very last sip). A true gentleman indeed, not showing his disgust out of pure politeness.
He climbed the stairs, greeted by the rhythmic clashing of the blacksmith’s hammer as he walked up the streets. The owner of the perfume shop was mixing some violetgrass powder in a bowl, and Zhongli’s voice instantly rang in his ears. He used to go on long speeches about that plant, delicate and needy of proper environmental conditions to grow and prosper. Almost like a relationship, he said, fragile and spontaneous, but also a precious treasure.
Looking down from the terrace, he noticed ships docking. Zhongli’s profile flashed before his eyes, staring at them come and go for hours on end, his mind lost in some century-deep memories he didn’t dare to fathom.
Ajax often thought he might not be adequate for him. What could he possibly do for a man like him - a former god, someone with limitless knowledge and wisdom? He must have experienced everything there was in life, probably enough for a few human lifespans. He couldn’t stay by his side forever, shackled by his own stupid mortality. He was nothing but temporary relief to his loneliness. And when he’d finally disappear from this world, would he only bring him sadness and grief in the long run? Would Zhongli’s eyes tear up and weep when he’d think of him, as they did when he spoke about Guizhong? Ajax didn’t want that.
But at the same time, he loved him way too much to let him go without fighting for a spot at his side.
He didn’t expect to find him there, out of all places. Yujin Terrace was his favorite destination when he was worried, his escape route when he felt overwhelmed by the foreign life of Liyue. When he had issues with his job, when he got homesick and missed his family, when he fought with his lover - that’s where he went.
Stumbling across Zhongli was a surprise, and Ajax couldn’t decide whether it was a pleasant or unpleasant one. The man knew about his comfort place, so there was only one explanation for his sudden appearance: he had come to confront him.
His heart was beating hard as he approached the railing. Zhongli didn’t say a word, and neither did he, mystified. He peeked at his figure, finding him as handsome as the first time he had laid eyes on him, beautiful even in the dim light of dusk, the glow of the street lights shining on his cheeks.
"Remember, Xiansheng?", he didn’t know what emotion he was trying to convey with his words. He was broken without him, he missed his voice, he craved to fix their bond. But he was lost, with no idea where to start from. "This is where everything began".
"The Rite of Parting", Zhongli said. He didn’t smile, as stoic as ever. It took Ajax some time to get used to it, to understand it’s simply the way he is, that there was no bad intent behind his serious face. He was blessed (or maybe cursed?) with what he and his comrades liked to call a resting bitch face .
But now, all he yearned for was a comforting smile, a word of reassurance spilling out of those lips. He could almost beg for it without the faintest trace of shame.
"Yeah, I mean", he rambled, "I didn’t exactly play a good role in that, but...".
"Speaking of which", Zhongli interrupted him, "Should you be hanging around here? Aren’t you afraid the Millelith might arrest you?".
Ajax smiled, the trembling of his lower lip betraying his true feelings. He couldn't fool him forever. Zhongli always saw through any bluff or mask he put on so diligently, reading him like an open book he had read countless times.
That question offered him multiple possibilities. He could say that they wouldn't arrest him out of fear. Or rather, because he was part of the Fatui and they were taught not to disrespect them, caged by the handcuffs of diplomacy. The reasons no one dared to approach him were many, and all equally valid.
Instead, he chose another path. "They won't as long as you're with me", he said, "Zhongli, a respected citizen of Liyue".
"Perhaps", the man mumbled.
Silence fell once more. Zhongli was uncharacteristically tense, as if he wanted to say something yet lacked the courage to speak up. Ajax was terrified of the truth. All his mind could picture was awful scenarios, ranging from a breakup to a sudden departure, and he couldn't bear staying in the dark anymore.
If he refused to speak, silent as a stone, then he had no choice but to stir the waters by himself. "Say, Xiansheng…", he meekly asked, "What did I do wrong?".
His reaction reminded him of a dam being breached. Words flowed out of his mouth like a river in flood, and Ajax perceived the piled-up disdain in his tone, enough to overcome the joy in hearing his voice again.
"I find it utterly disrespectful to purchase gifts for someone, when one doesn't wholly comprehend the cultural standards of politeness of the receiver", he said.
Ajax was confused. The problem was in the gift? He failed to see why. He had picked for him a dignified present from Snezhnaya - an antique dagger, refined like a precious relic, with an intricate carving on the handle that reproduced the symbols of Liyue and its history. A weapon and a memento, embodying both Zhongli's attachment to the past and his desire to adapt to the current times. What could have been more fitting for him?
"What do you mean?", he inquired.
Zhongli glared at him. "You see, in Liyue, one can't simply offer their partner a blade". Ajax's stomach fluttered at the word partner . It sounded so deep and beautiful coming from his lips, making it hard to think it referred to him. "Sharp objects in general are considered to be an impolite present, as they imply the cutting of things, and thus the will to sever a relationship".
Ajax's mind collapsed. Oh, so that was it? He had to admit that not doing any research beforehand wasn't the smartest move. The endless dedication and care he had poured into the details of the item were wasted, as he had failed to question the appropriateness of the object itself. What an idiot. Of course he had given him the wrong impression.
"So, you thought I wanted to break up?", he summed up.
Zhongli crossed his arms to his chest. "At first, perhaps", he said, "I do admit I was enraged at the idea, which led me to distance myself for some time to ponder about the matter. Then, I realized you meant no harm".
Ajax smiled bitterly. At least, despite their thousand differences, he seemed to know him well enough. Why would he go out of his way to set up the perfect dinner and night, if he wanted to cut things short between them?
"Being so indirect is definitely not my style, Xiansheng".
"Even so, the disrespect…", Zhongli snapped. He quickly regained his composure with a polite cough, as formal as ever. "But I do believe that, had you considered severing our relationship, you would have chosen… other methods".
Those were the innuendos he enjoyed. He winked at him, finally mustering the courage needed to approach him and erase the distance between them. "And what do you think I'd plan?", he cooed.
A fierce battle. Destruction. Chaos. If he wanted to get rid of him, he'd go down with blood. He'd make sure to leave such a deep scar engraved inside his head, that he would never ever forget the burn, immortality or not. Because after all, they belonged to each other. And even when falling apart, he had to state his rightful place.
"You're the type to long for a fight", Zhongli said, "The last time you tried to attract my attention, you threatened to destroy Liyue in its entirety. I believe that you would pick something way more impactful than an impolite gift".
Ajax had something to object. He technically didn't wake Osial to catch his attention - more like to lure him out in the open and steal his Gnosis for a greater purpose. But the mutual agreement they had settled on at the start of their relationship (almost like a silent contract) was to keep their jobs out of their love life. Fatui matters hardly interested Zhongli anymore, wary of their deeds like no more than a retired guardian of the land, and the Funeral Parlor's activity was somehow nagging for the Bank, with continuous offers for discounts and provocations.
So, he sucked it up and accepted his accusation as it was. He could afford to lose his cool for a bit in front of his partner , after all.
"Then, you left me alone at the restaurant because you were pissed?", he asked.
"Contrite, mostly". Zhongli turned to face him at once, and Ajax gaped. He was handsome in the darkness of the night, amber eyes glowing among the lantern lights, and the tips of his hair shining under the stars. "Nevertheless, I must apologize. As a man of integrity, and a former Archon as well, I should have known better than leaving impromptu".
How endearing. Finally, he recognized the Zhongli he knew. "Nah, it's alright", he shrugged, "I'm sorry for hurting you".
Maybe the time had come. The small weight in his pocket reminded him of his unaccomplished mission. Was it the right moment? What would he say, when it had been barely a minute since they made up again? What if he was setting himself up for another rejection? His heart couldn't handle a second blow.
But thinking was an action reserved for war. And love wasn't war, though sometimes he liked to think so. Love was for emotions and sincerity, and for spontaneity. Yes, might as well follow the lead of his soul and go ahead. To be free and without regrets.
Unaware of his inner turmoil, Zhongli grumpled. "I wouldn't say hurting …", he tried to complain.
Ajax gave him no time to finish his sentence, pushing forward. "It's tragicomical that you'd think I was planning to break up, when my intention was the polar opposite, in fact", he said.
Zhongli was a smart man. It took a mere second for his eyes to display a wide range of emotions: irritation for being interrupted, confusion after his words… and then, he caught on. "The opposite?", he echoed.
'Come on, Xiansheng' , Ajax thought, 'It isn't like you to be so puzzled about what I say' .
"I know it's not as romantic now, but here goes nothing", he said. He pulled the velvet box out of his pocket and fell on his knees, ready for the most important speech of his life. Even though he was a stoic man, Ajax could swear that Zhongli was tearing up faintly. "I don't want to sever our bond. I want to solidify it, if I may borrow your line".
Zhongli's cheeks flushed a pale pink at his pun. A composed reaction, as expected from a man who's made of stone. But even the toughest jade knows when to let itself crack, and Ajax understood his emotions only upon seeing a single, lonely tear falling down his cheek.
That was the only push he needed. "Do you want to marry me?", he asked.
Zhongli's voice quivered as he whispered his "I do". The ring slid on his finger perfectly, without hesitation. After all, Ajax had it tailormade, and he knew every detail about the man - every curve of his body, every gradient of his tastes.
And he had never shone brighter than he was in that moment, not even in his statuary perfection in the monuments scattered around Liyue, not even in his underwear with bed hair in the morning. That look (the flustered cheeks, the teary eyes and the ring glimmering on his finger) fit him best.
Ajax wouldn't have thought that he'd get to experience his first kiss again. But as their lips met softly, below the skyline of Liyue, he felt like a teenager in the prime of his adolescence, savoring the sweetness of his very first love. And he let himself melt in the arms of the man he had chosen to share his future life with.