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Can You Please Stay (This Ain't My Fate)

Summary:

Child Loki never meant to kill Thor.

Notes:

Title from the song Control by Cameron Philip
written by my friend You.Me.Shiratorizawa.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Stop your crying, child. Look here.” 

Loki hesitantly raised his head to look at Odin.  He was holding a long dagger face up in his hand, which Odin then grabbed. Odin stabbed the dagger into his palm. This caught Loki’s attention.

Loki’s crying did cease for a moment, out of curiosity.

“Hey! You— you can’t—“ Loki took his father’s hand in his, eyebrows furrowing at the lack of blood. 

Odin’s booming laugh filled the room as he pulled the dagger out, revealing his untouched palm.

“… What?” Loki was completely distracted from what had him distraught now.

“This is a trick dagger, see?” Odin pressed the dagger into his finger in demonstration, and Loki gasped in childish awe. 

The young god of mischief was already thinking of all of the pranks he could play on Thor, and he reached to take the dagger from Odin— only for him to pull it away from his grasp.

“Could I see it?” The young boy frowned.

“Ah-ah, not yet! I know this dagger intrigues you, but it won’t come for free.” Loki groaned. “I propose the price of this dagger… a fortnight without your pranks on Thor!” Odin smiled as Loki scowled at him.

“Son, your brother is still upsetted by the snake trick. Have mercy on the boy, at least a fortnight, or I fear his ego shall never recover!” Odin winked, and the joke on Thor made Loki smile.

Loki glanced at the tempting dagger. “Fine.”

~~~

And oh, how Loki had tried to keep his promise! 

He resisted the temptation to prank his brother for a week, an admirable job, but Loki was bored. Who could blame him? And he didn’t need Odin’s trick dagger anyways, the boy convinced himself. 

He still remembered what it looked like, and that was enough for him to conjure one himself. 

He had been practicing his magic with Frigga, and while conjuring was one of his more advanced tricks, it only took him a few tries before the dagger was in his hand.

Now, to plan the prank…

Thor had been having a self-centered rant to his friends earlier that month, which included Thor boasting that Loki could never lay a hand on him. Loki had let the comment slide, but he still resented how weak Thor thought he was.

He wanted to see the look on Thor’s face when he realized Loki was capable of beating him.

Of course, Loki would never truly stab his brother, hence the collapsible dagger! Now Loki could safely knock Thor’s ego down a few notches. 

Loki twirled the dagger in his hand. He was able to create an exact copy of the one his father had, down to the horizontal lines that allowed it to collapse. A commendable job, if he did say so himself.

He hid the dagger behind him as someone entered his room. He looked up to see his brother peeking in with a sly grin. 

“Brother! I bet you can’t beat me at hide and seek!” 

~~~

Loki crouched next to the corner of a palace hallway. They had chosen a particularly empty part of the castle, so that their game wouldn’t be interrupted.

After drawing sticks, Thor had been chosen as the seeker, much to his chagrin. Loki could hear his brother grumbling as he walked down the hall towards him. Now was the time to put his plan in motion. 

As Thor turned the corner, Loki had the benefit of surprise and was able to “stab” Thor with his trick dagger.

Success! Loki grinned at the horrified look on Thor’s face, because he’d finally been beaten! This was the best feeling for Loki, seeing Thor’s terrified face…

Why was Thor still so terrified? His brother was usually able to pull himself together quickly after a prank…

No matter, this was a good prank, so Loki smiled as he easily pulled away the collapsible dagger—

Wait … 

Loki found himself unable to pull the dagger out of his brothers chest. 

He looked at the dagger, and his heart started to race.

Is that… blood? Oh shit…

“I… I don’t understand…” Loki stammered. He must have conjured the dagger incorrectly, creating something that looked identical but didn’t function correctly. 

Fuck, why hadn’t he checked it?

Thor’s knees buckled and he fell backwards, silent tears running down his face. “Brother…” Thor coughed, wincing. “W-Why?” 

Thor looked betrayed, and Loki fell to his knees beside him, hands hovering over the dagger placed all too close to his heart.

“No… No, no! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t—“ Loki scrambles for words. He doesn’t have time to explain! 

“I didn’t mean to, please believe me brother! Oh shit, okay, I’m gonna get you to the healers—“ Loki reaches under Thor to pick him up, but the jostling made Thor grunt and shove him away.

“You need to let me help—“

“No, I’m not gonna make it… make it to the healers.” Thor slurred on his words. 

We’re at the opposite end of the castle, there’s no one around here… No, he can’t die! 

Loki sobbed, grabbing Thor’s hand and squeezing it. “F-fuck, Thor, I’m so s-sorry! You don’t deserve this, I don’t know what to do—“

This wasn’t how Thor was meant to die. He was supposed to die with honor in a battle, defending his people. Loki had stolen that from him, God, his blood was on his hands—

“It’s— it’s okay, brother.” Thor smiled tightly at him.

“God, you deserve to be mad and you’re still the better person.” Loki laughed wetly.

“B-brother…” Thor got out. “Could you do… do something for me?”

So when Thor requested that Loki let him see Asgard one last time, who was he to deny him?

Loki dragged his brother to a balcony, urging himself to hurry because Thor didn’t have much longer. He tried to ignore the pained cries his brother was making.

Loki painstakingly sat up Thor to look upon Asgard, and that was it.

“I th’nk you… won our g’me, br’ther…” Thor smiled.

His eyes shut slowly, and he fell backwards into Loki’s arms.

Loki was in shock. His family would be so ashamed, shit, they’d be mad! His brother couldn’t be dead, he couldn’t be, not Thor… and yet he was laying lifeless in his arms.

And it was entirely Loki’s fault.

Loki spent a moment looking at his brothers lax face. It was quiet and strangely peaceful on the balcony…

His arms were being yanked behind his back.

“You are being arrested for crimes against the sacred timeline.”

He didn’t fight as they pulled him away.

Notes:

Loki just pushed the pain aside and used him killing Thor as clout because it put him in less danger - he hid his sobbing at night.

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