Chapter Text
Young royals
a continued version of episode 6, season 1
It was Christmas Eve and I could not stop thinking about Simon. Everything about him, his perfect curls, the big smile on his face, his beautiful voice, and his soft hands. Every touch Simon made would leave electrifying marks on my skin. Just thinking about the boy will make me feel nervous, but fantastic at the same time. It was like everything was out of a fairytale. Well, everything except the happy ending.
Everything started with an innocent crush. Hearing him sing for the first time made me smile. I wanted to get to know him better. At first, I didn’t realize that I had was a crush. All I wanted, was to talk with him. To get to know him. The more I did - the more of his touches I felt - the more I felt. That feeling of our hands together just felt so right. I don’t know how else to explain it: We just clicked, I guess. At last the feeling of his kiss, his soft lips on mine. All that just made me want him more, and it freaked me out.
I was supposed to be straight, I’m the Crown Prince for God’s sake. The thought has struck me before, but I just pushed it back. Hoping it will go over, so I could marry a nice girl for the sake of my parents and country. After meeting Simon, that thought just got so hard to suppress, and honestly, I didn’t want to. I wanted nothing more than to just be with him. That scared me, the fact that I could not keep my mask on anymore. Even if it just was for one person.
I sat by Erik's tombstone thinking about all this. I had gone here earlier this morning, just wanting to see him. It would be my first holiday without him. Sitting here made me feel closer to him in a way. Thinking about him and our memories together. I regret that I didn’t tell him. That I was hiding a part of me for him. I know that Erik would support me. He would probably be my biggest supporter. I imagine him taking me to pride festivals. Deep inside me, I feel like he knew. Erik knew and understood me better than anyone else. I would not be surprised if I came out to him only for him telling me that he always knew.
I would tell him about Simon. Everything that I love about him, and everything we do together (well, maybe not everything). He would tease me about how head over heels I’m for him, and I would never hear the end of it.
Erik would tell me what I should do right now. He would have made a plan to get Simon back. Actually, he never would have let mom hide me from the world. My brother would want me to be proud of who I’m, and not hidden. Erik would have told me to be official and out with Simon. He'd tell me that something like this should never be covered up. He would be my protector, and he would protect me through this.
Maybe it wouldn't even have been such a big deal? People could be more open to the fact that they have a non-straight prince with a boyfriend. But now it’s different, I’m the crown prince. The soon-to-be king, so my role is now a lot more serious than it was. Does that make me selfish? Wishing for my brother back so that my own problems would become easier, getting mad at him for dying. It felt selfish.
"Erik if only you were here now," I said out loud as a tear ran down my cheek, quickly wiping it away. It did not help as only more came.
Would it not have been better if I had died? I would never be as good as Erik. Getting into a fight and having a sex tape leaked. A sex tape that makes people realize I’m not straight. Why? It is all I’m left thinking. Why am I the Crown Prince? Why should I have to choose responsibility and not what’s best for me? Why is it expected for me to be perfect? Why do I have to hide my love for a boy? Why can not that be normal?
When I had stopped crying I left the cemetery. There was a news crew outside waiting for me. Luckily they had enough respect to not follow me inside the cemetery, not filming me being emotional.
"Crown Prince Wilhelm, after the video a lot of people are wondering what’s your view on the LGBTQIA+ community? Will you work for them when you become king?" The man asked me. He is wearing a long navy blue coat with a red scarf. His long brown hair getting in his eyes. Poor him having to work on Christmas to get some scoop. Suddenly I got an idea, and it’s something I probably will regret.
"Are you filming?" I asked, ignoring his previous question. The man nodded and the cameraman next to him zoomed in on me. Both waited anxiously for what I would say. Hoping for something good.
“You all probably remember the video going around the internet. The one where supposedly I and a guy are making out. The rumours about the Swedish Crown Prince being gay, right?"
I waited for them to nod. You could see how excited the news people were. They were hoping to get something for the headlines, and in the direction this was heading, they were gettig it.
“Well is true, it's me in the video. Who would’ve guessed that the Swedish Crown Prince likes dick, huh? But that’s the truth. I know I’m not perfect, and that I’m not the king people want. To answer your question, I hope I can make a difference for the LGBTQIA+ community. I don’t want people to feel like they have to hide, like I did.”
The man had the biggest smile ever. This would most likely make his career.
"So the boy in the video, is he your boyfriend?" I thought about the question for a second. It felt like we were together and broke up, without officially being together. Still, I know that both of us have feelings for each other. He did not want to be a secret, so maybe now when I won’t keep him a secret he will give me a second chance?
"Hopefully he will be soon," I smiled at the camera, before getting ready to leave. "Can you please do me a favour and wait one hour before posting the video?" I said as the cameraman turned off the camera.
“Of course, we will. Thank you very much Crown Prince Wilhelm. »
After that, I hurried home. I have to be out of the castle before the video comes out. It was now 12:27 so the video would come out at around 13:30. Luckily the walk was only 23 minutes, but since I walked fast I managed it in 15 minutes.
As soon as I got to the castle, I went to my room. I did not stop to greet my mother, but I didn’t meet her on the way either. She was probably busy preparing for today. One thing that I knew was that I had to be quick, but not seem suspicious.
When I entered my room, I found a bag. I made sure that it wasn’t too big so it would be inconvenient to drag it with me. Still, I had to make sure I could fit enough in it. I had not yet planned how long I would be away, so it was hard to know how much I should pack. I decided to throw in some clothes, toiletries, and just hope for the best.
I looked around my room noticing the gift on my bedside table. It’s the gift I was planning on giving Simon. With all that happened, I forgot to give it to him. Without thinking I put it in my bag. The last thing I took with me was my phone, credit card and some cash.
The next step was to get out without being seen. I could not go out the window, it was too high above the ground, but I threw my bag down and it landed in a bush. I couldn’t carry the bag around the castle, people would have gotten suspicious.
On my way out the only ones I meet, were the staff who works there. No one asked where I was going, so I did not have to worry about that. It was snowing outside, but I did not mind, luckily it was not that cold.
My bag was on the side of the castle, so I went through the garden to get it. I picked it up and brushed some snow off it, and started my way to the train station. Fortunately, since it was Christmas Eve, there were not as many at work. Those who were were busy with preparations.
It was a short walk to the railway from the castle. To be exact, it took 12 minutes. When I arrived, it was already 13:09. It would not be long before the video was out for everyone to see. At least if the man had kept his promise.
I paid for the ticket with cash, to not leave digital traces. Even though I realize it would not help. My mom is smart enough to figure out where I wanted to go. In addition, many had already seen me at the train station. I imagine that they are all wondering where I’m going on Christmas Eve. The feeling of gazes on me did not leave me as I waited on my train. Luckily it was not long before my train came.
I’m actually going to Bjärstad. How stupid is that? I escape my duties, to visit a boy who did not even know that I’m coming. On Christmas Eve of all days. I sat down on the seat farthest away from the other two people inside the carriage. They both looked at me, but decided to ignore me right after.
I checked my phone. 13:24, not long until, just a few minutes. I thought about how people would react. When the video of me and Simon came out, there were many different reactions. Some people thought it was fun and were eager to have a queer crown prince. Others felt sorry for us, since we had just been outed to the world. Some people thought it was disgusting that the prince liked the penis. Maybe with time, it all will get better and easier? That hope all I can allow for now.
There is a difference between now and before though. When the video got leaked people, were not 100% sure if it was true or not. Me stating that it wasn’t me, got some people to think I was their straight Crown Prince again. Simultaneously, the people that were not born yesterday (well, more than six decades ago), did not buy it for a second. They knew it was just a cover-up.
Now everyone would know, it was no taking it back. Maybe that was for the best. I can not hide forever. Like what would happen in the future? Was I just going to keep pretending that I was straight? Anyways if I came out earlier instead of later, people would have more time to get used to it.
During the rest of the trip, which lasted for 2 and a half hours, my phone blew up. My mother tried to get hold of me, and people could not stop talking about the news. Not gonna lie, I’m curious about what they are saying, but I decided that the best thing to do was to stay away from social media. Simon had also tried to get hold of me. Asked if I was alright, if we could talk etc. but I did not answer him.
It was 16:06 when I finally got off the train and started my way to the bus station. The few people that were outside whispered and looked at me as I passed, but as I always do, I try to ignore them. It was not until I got on the bus that I sent a message back to Simon. I needed to tell him that I’m on my way to his house. I do realise it’s inappropriate to visit him on Christmas whiteout saying anything beforehand. If I can’t visit I will just go to a hotel and meet him tomorrow.
Wilhelm
Are you home? -
Simon
- Yes, I am. Why?
Wilhelm
Can I come over? I’m at the bus now, but if it’s a bad time I could just go to a hotel -
Simon
- No need, of course you can come over<3
Wilhelm
Thank you<3-
Then 10 minutes later I stood outside the house of the boy that I love.