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“Here.” The beer appears in Buck’s peripheral vision, and he reaches for it, fingers slipping in the cool condensation that beads down the side of the bottle.
“Thanks man.” He takes a long sip and stares out into the backyard. “Oh, hey. How were parent teacher interviews yesterday?”
Eddie groans and drops heavily onto the porch swing, throwing his legs up on the railing beside Buck’s.
“They were fine,” he says, taking a long drink from his beer.
“Yeah, that doesn’t sound fine,” Buck says, twisting to face Eddie. “Is everything okay with Chris? Is there—"
“Christopher’s fine.” Eddie cuts Buck off before he can get too worked up. “He’s doing well in school, got lots of friends.”
“Oh.” Buck takes a sip of his own drink. “So, what’s the matter then?”
Eddie pulls his feet from the railing and plants them on the porch.
“He’s got this one teacher, and every time I see her, she’s got something to say about me being a single dad.” Eddie leans forward, his elbows braced on his knees. “Like I’m not good enough for him on my own.”
“You know that’s bullshit,” Buck says. “You’re a great dad.”
Eddie just waves him off.
“Anyway, she was going on about my job and how the long hours aren’t fair on Chris and how alone he is... anyway... Chris told her he’s not alone. He said he’s got me and Carla, Pepa and Abuela and... his Buck.”
“Of course, Eds, you know we’re all there for Chris.”
“I know but, I just—I don’t know why I said it.” Eddie leans back against the swing, staring out into the night.
“Said what?”
“I may have told her we were together...”
The half-mouthful of beer goes down the wrong hole and Buck chokes.
“What?” He wipes his sleeve against his mouth to catch the liquid that’s spilled down his chin.
“It just came out. She kept going on about the type of home environment I was providing, and I know I shouldn’t have let it get to me, but—Chris was so excited. I tried to tell him it wasn’t true—"
“Eddie, it’s fine.” Buck fidgets with the label on his bottle. He can’t quite bring himself to look at his best friend, afraid his face will give him away. It makes sense now why Chris was so happy to see him today, and perhaps why it had taken so long for Eddie to get him into bed. “You need to tell him though.”
“I know.” Eddie sighs and drains his beer. “I honestly didn’t think he’d be excited about the prospect of me dating again. We haven’t really talked about it.”
Buck isn’t excited about the idea of Eddie dating again, dating someone else. He keeps his mouth shut though and finishes his beer. The seeds of a very terrible, stupid plan start to take root in his brain.
“Hey, if uh,” the words stick in his throat. “If you need some time, to tell Chris, I don’t mind pretending for a day or two.” Buck’s heart is pounding so loud in his chest, he wonders if Eddie can hear it too. “Just until you do.”
Eddie laughs, tipping his head back against the seat.
“That is, without a doubt, the stupidest idea you’ve ever come up with...” he says, still chuckling.
“Ha, yeah,” Buck plasters a grin on his face. “Pretty stupid.”
“You know what, I’m in,” Eddie says, regaining his composure. “Just for a day or so. I’ve got the rest of the parent teacher interviews tomorrow night and then I’ll sit Chris down and explain it was a misunderstanding.”
“What about the rest of the team?” Buck asks. “We’ve got a ten-hour shift tomorrow. What happens if they find out?”
“They won’t.” Eddie’s tone is warm and reassuring but Buck shakes his head.
“It just takes one,” he points out. “If Maddie finds out, she’ll tell Chim. And if Chim finds out—” he lets his head tip back with a groan, “—he’ll tell everyone.”
“Is it really that big of a deal?” Eddie asks him, planting his feet back on the porch and sitting up.
Yes, because if people find out that they’re ‘dating’ they’ll have questions and Buck can’t handle that kind of scrutiny, not when he’s already harbouring major feelings for his best friend.
“No,” he says instead. “I guess not. It’s just one day. What’s the worst that could happen?”
~
Buck pulls up at the station bright and early the next morning. He parks beside Eddie’s truck, a smile spreading across his face when he realises he has Chris with him.
“Bucky!” Chris's whole face lights up and he throws his arms around Buck.
“Hey bud.” Buck ruffles the kid’s hair and walks with them towards the firehouse. “What are you doing here?”
“Pepa’s running late,” Eddie explains. “She got caught up in traffic, so she’s going to pick Chris up from here. She shouldn’t be long,” he says, addressing Bobby this time.
“It’s not a problem. You hungry Chris?” Bobby asks, matching Chris’ pace as they head for the stairs. “I’ll see what I can rustle up for breakfast and you can tell me all about school.”
Chris nods along enthusiastically, following on behind Bobby.
“Hey Christopher.” Chimney leans over the balcony rail. “You got any fun stories for us kid?”
“Oh yeah!” Chris hands his dad one of his crutches so he can free up a hand to grip the stair rail. “Did you guys know Dad and Buck are dating?”
Every eye in the building turns to them.
The thing about the station is that it’s never truly quiet. There’s always some noise, some movement, no matter the time of day. But in that moment Buck could have heard a pin drop.
Hen is the first to break the silence.
“Alright, pay up.” She waves her fingers in Chim's face. “Better luck next time boys,” she crows, holding out her hands.
“I definitely heard you say November,” Chimney argues.
“I said, before November.” Hen grins. “It’s before November. Now pay up.”
“You couldn’t have waited just a few more weeks?” Chimney asks them. “Really, is that too much to ask?”
“What is happening right now?” Buck stares at his friends in disbelief. “Have you all been taking bets on us?”
Hen and Chimney share a look. “Uh, yes.”
They say it together, Hen bursting into laughter at the indignation on Buck’s face. “Oh please, you think you’re so hard to read? You wear your heart on your sleeve, Buckaroo. I read you.”
She counts the money she’s won, stuffing the notes into her pocket. “You boys just paid for my anniversary dinner. I can’t wait to tell Karen.” She pauses. “I don’t suppose you two also offer babysitting services?”
Buck bites his lip to hold back the panic clawing at his chest. His gaze flicks to Eddie, laughing and reassuring Chris that he’s not in trouble for spilling the beans. He’s acting like it’s nothing—like their whole team hasn’t been plotting behind their backs.
Eddie had promised that no one else would know, but that had gone down the drain in seconds. And now what? Do they keep up the lie or do they come clean? The idea of telling everyone that it’s not real is worse than knowing they’d been betting on him and Eddie getting together. Or do they already know that too? Maybe that’s the next bet and they’re all just waiting.
“I, uh—” Buck takes a half step back. “I’ll just be back in a minute.”
He doesn’t run for the stairs. He keeps his gait even until he’s at the bottom of the staircase and then he makes his escape to the bathrooms.
Buck spends the rest of the day avoiding the team. Well, avoiding them as much as he is able while still doing his job. While they’re at the station, he finds chores to keep himself busy, ignoring the looks he gets from Hen and Chim and ignoring the friendly teasing that he can’t take a joke.
Avoiding Eddie is the worst. Buck can’t bring himself to do it. He constantly finds himself gravitating back towards his best friend, drawn like a moth to a flame.
Buck keeps waiting for Eddie to pull him aside and ask why he’s not keeping his end of the bargain. Eddie keeps looking over at him, face pinched with an expression Buck can’t quite name. He’s probably pissed Buck couldn’t even keep it up for twenty-four hours, and now they’re both going to look like fools in front of the rest of the team.
~
“Thought I’d find you hiding in here.”
Buck glances up from the bunk to catch Bobby leaning in the doorway.
“I’m not hiding.”
“Good, because lunch is ready.” He goes to leave, then stops, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “For what it’s worth Buck, we’re happy for you. Both of you.”
“Thanks Bobby.” Buck stands slowly, inhaling deeply. He can do this. He can pretend to be dating Eddie in front of his co-workers while also somehow pretending that he’s not wildly in love with his best friend. He’s got this, no problem.
Buck lets the breath go in a rush.
He’s so fucked.
Everyone’s eyes look up as Buck reaches the kitchen. He’s the last to sit and there’s just the one spare seat left beside Eddie.
As he settles into the chair, Eddie bumps their knees together under the table and offers Buck a reassuring smile.
“So,” Chim says reaching for the salad bowl. “I need details. When did this start?” He gestures between the two of them with the salad tongs before loading up his plate.
“Yeah, how long have you been keeping this from us?” Albert pipes up.
Buck swallows against the lump in his throat. They should have come up with something, just in case, but now they have nothing and—
“It was a few weeks after I got home from the hospital.”
Buck glances across at Eddie, brows knit together in confusion.
“I’d broken up with Ana and Buck was over a lot, helping with Chris,” Eddie explains, accepting a plate from Hen. “There was this one day. Buck had just got back after dropping Chris at school and we realised Chris had forgotten to take this book he’d wanted for show and tell.”
Buck can feel his frown deepening. He remembers this.
“Anyway, Buck wanted to go all the way back to Chris’ school to give it to him. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Eddie’s looking at him now, holding Buck’s gaze as he recounts the story. The whole team is looking at them, the heat of their scrutiny makes Buck squirm in his seat. “I said it didn’t matter, Chris could just take it another day, but Buck said—"
“It matters to Chris.” Buck feels his face flush. At the time, Eddie had laughed and said something about Buck being too good for them before Buck had run out of the house clutching the book.
“It just kind of hit me, you know?” Eddie finally looks away, reaching for the bread rolls in the middle of the table. “Just how lucky I am to have him and how much he cares about us and… I kissed him.”
There’s a collective gasp from around the table and all eyes turn back on Buck.
“And what did you do, Buckaroo?” Hen asks, leaning forward in her seat.
“I uh—” Buck glances at Eddie, eyes wide. “I kissed him back?”
“Yeah, and it was about damn time,” Chimney shouts around a mouthful of pasta. “You guys are so cute. It’s disgusting.”
~
The rest of the shift is better after that. Everyone seems satisfied by their story and Buck lets himself fall back into his regular comfortable rhythm, hanging with Eddie between call outs. There is still some awkwardness to it, Buck can’t stop his mind from wandering back to that morning, imagining what it would have been like if it had gone more like Eddie’s story. He’s surprised Eddie even remembered it, it had been just another day between the regular doctor and physical therapy appointments that consumed his every waking minute.
He waits until later that night to say anything. Chris is in bed and they’re back on the porch nursing a beer each.
“Can I, uh, ask you a question?” Buck tears at the label on his bottle. “That thing you said at lunch, about how we got together…” He trails off, not quite sure how to verbalise the whirlwind of feelings it had stirred in him.
“Yeah, well I had to say something convincing,” Eddie says, taking a sip of his beer.
“Oh, right. Yeah.” Buck had spent the whole afternoon thinking that maybe, just maybe his feelings for Eddie weren’t as one-sided as he’d initially thought. This though, this is like a bucket of ice water to the face. “I don’t think I can do this, Eds.”
Eddie’s head jerks up.
“I thought I could pretend, but I can’t.”
“Why did you suggest it then?” Eddie doesn’t sound angry. Buck almost wishes he did, it would be easier if the were both yelling at each other. Anything would be better than the soft disappointment in Eddie’s tone.
“I thought—” Buck takes a breath and tries again. “I wasn’t thinking when I suggested it. I think there was just a part of me that thought that getting to pretend with you was better than nothing. It’s not though, it just made it that much more obvious how much I want this— want us.” Putting down his beer, Buck goes to stand. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna go—”
“Wait. Buck.” Eddie catches his arm. “I should have kissed you.”
“What?”
“Chris’ show and tell. I didn’t kiss you that day, but I wanted to. You were just out the door so damn fast.”
“You wanted to kiss me?”
Eddie pulls him back down onto the swing with a fond eye-roll. “We’re you not listening to my story at lunch?” he asks, voice teasing. “I meant what I said about how it just hit me. You’re amazing Buck, and Chris and I are both so lucky to have someone like you, someone who cares with everything you have. I think I’ve loved you for a while, but that morning I knew.”
“I love you too.” Buck knows he’s grinning like an idiot, but right now he doesn’t care. “I know you didn’t kiss me back then but… you can kiss me now.”
And Eddie does.
It starts off soft and slow—a tentative brushing of their lips, but then as neither of them back off it grows more desperate. Buck curls his fingers in the hem of Eddie’s shirt, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.
When he finally pulls away, they’re both red-faced and breathing hard.
“So, I guess this means we don’t need to break up,” Buck says with a laugh.
“No,” Eddie agrees. “I plan on keeping you around for a long time.”